STRUGGLING TO STAY ON TRACK & SAYING GOODBYE TO STEWIE | VLOG [tw: ed]

My name is Tammy. I struggle with too many mental issues, lol, but don't we all? On this channel I document most of my struggles. I'm not that open in real life and KZbin helps me to be able to vent and talk about whats going on.
I'm not promoting any kind of (eating) disorder, I'm just documenting my life.
I'm very hapy to have you Little Lemons accompany me. Thank you SO much!
Intro and outro music
Leonell Cassio - Night Sky (Lyrics) ft. Julia Mihevc

[@lifewith9cats153]

I'm sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is one of the most difficult challenges of life. Rest in peace Stewie. 🙏

[@TammyLemon.]

Mondays video will be a weigh in! (Edit. I meant to say: Tuesdays video!)

[@tatianaharris3943]

Great attitude after ur binge. 🥰Don't give up on yourself specially after a binge. U r stronger than u think u r👊 u got this 💪

[@vickiemouse2359]

Only if you feel that is something you really want to do 😊 We have 16 indoor rescue kitties and I’ve lost 3 in the last 2 years and I feel your grief and heartbreak ❤️‍🩹 I’m 62 and didn’t have children and my kitties are my babies🐾🌸♥️

[@theshepherds2846]

You gave him the ultimate gift, regardless of your feelings. You eased his pain and suffering, and that matters so much. And give yourself some grace, you’ve had a very rough couple of weeks. It’s ok to fall off the wagon, but don’t run the wagon into the woods and set it on fire!

[@fletchermemorial1920]

Appreciate you sharing his burial with us and that montage was beautiful and well edited. Take care of yourself.

[@dominykalukaseviciute9315]

Sorry about Stewie:(( But i think he had best person near him and he lived a really happy life❤️

[@GrowingConscious]

Stewie's burial made me so emotional. 😢 but you did the right thing and it was a beautiful memorial. Thanks for sharing the ups and downs of your journey. ❤

[@Lroselovely88]

This was a beautiful tribute to Stewie and thank you for sharing your honest journey. The Amberlynn's voice coming in had me ded

[@raybryant9768]

Even I teared up, R.I.P Stewie I think the binge u had was expected with the loss but can get back up and keep going

[@alyshajones7438]

Tammy, I watch every video and all I can see is a kind and gentle person who is trying their hardest. The word you were looking for was deconstruct 😊please be kind to yourself, don't punish yourself for your binge, just go back to normal eating patterns and just continue doing what you're doing. Stewie was such a beautiful cat and you gave him the gift of love by taking him in as a stray. You're allowed to mourn. You can do this! xx 🤗

[@gigilou]

I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss 💛💛💛 What a beautiful tribute to him. RIP sweet Stewie 🙏🏼❤️❤️

[@lorinelson7607]

Rest well sweet Stewie. Thank you for letting us be a part of his life

[@OmgPandamonium]

I’m sorry for your loss, my kitty is my emotional support baby and he’s 19 years old! My first pet/baby and I can’t imagine saying goodbye. You’re very strong to be able to say goodbye. Sending much love. ❤

[@ananimity7332]

Tammy I am so sorry for your loss. Making the decision to say goodbye to our fur babies breaks our heart but with our love for them we can't let them suffer. You gave Stewie peace. Sending love and hugs to you and your fur babies!

[@Kelly-vr2wz]

Not me sobbing over poor little Stewie. I love writing lists of things to do, it makes yourself accountable in a way to have a physical schedule in front of you, and chatting to us about it would help to :) rooting for you Tammy!

[@Beeperoni]

Thank you for sharing Stewie’s burial. That was so lovely. And then you sent that dehumanizing curveball and had me from crying to laughing. You’re such a joy.

[@ameliam1396]

I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is really hard. ❤ the footage you included of him was so lovely!

[@boocs20143]

I cried so hard when you put up the tribute to Stewie. I feel that is coming in the next year or so for my sweet kitty and I hate that we have to endure that in life. I'm sorry, Tammy. I'm so proud of you for progressing mentally and emotionally with food around life, even when tough crap happens. You're such an inspiration!! 💝

[@nai5148]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is the worst pain to experience. Jackson Galaxy made a video about how cats see spirits/ghosts and I am sure that one day, we'll be reunited with our fur babies 🖤🖤🖤

[@fifer4781]

So sorry for your loss. Stewie had a wonderful life with you 💞

[@DeeDeeHM]

So sorry for your loss. It's so hard. I cried watching. It's so sad. I have a rescue cat we adore and I can't imagine being without him. Time heals. He's in a better place. You're an amazing human. ❤❤❤

[@anab.5536]

I lost my cat in a similar way due to sudden liver failure last year, it still hurts to think about her. My condolences, stay strong!

[@mewnadja]

im so sorry to hear that..but remeber he had had a great life with u and im sure he always will love u ♥ he was such a cute kitten

[@babygirllovespink]

Even in your videos Stewie was always close by. I'm so sorry for your loss and his pain. 💕 Rest easy Stewie

[@KK-ur6wl]

I just love your personality. You did so much for Stewie. You are a wonderful person

[@Alskdoenfkemfnek]

RIP Stewie 💕 He had a wonderful life with you

[@internetmousse]

Goodbye Stewie 💔 I’m sure he was a great friend and you did so much for him to make his life as happy as possible. He spent his last days being loved

[@DelilaRodriguez]

Oh Tammy I’m so sorry for your loss. I know this has been so hard on you and the other cats babe but I just want to send you some ((Hugs)) thank you for sharing your and your pets lives with us. I appreciate you so much. ❤ P.S. I have a hard time getting up and out of bed after a binge too. It just puts me into a depression spiral sometimes worse than other times but I’m praying for you. I hope you feel better and begin to heal from this grief in the best way for you. Whatever that may be. I’m so proud of you! You accomplished so much today. Great job.

[@peggydeffley2194]

I subscribed today, Tammy. Love you. So sorry about Stevie. Oh, it’s so hard to let them go! You keep seeing them in their own places, and you keep listening for their voice.

[@monkeynumbernine]

I'm so sorry ❤️ It's very compassionate that you have given your precious kitty rest, I understand how hard it is to let your much loved pet go. Be blessed.

[@christybernal6114]

Your handling the loss of your kitty very well. I'm over here bawling my eyes out and he's not even my kitty. I got attached just watching your videos. I enjoy your videos very much. Makes me realize we all struggle with something in life. I hope you get better and don't struggle with food anymore

[@kati-ana]

I think the added stress of losing Stewie has hit you harder than you realize. Your Stewie was your comforter and loyal to you and loved you immensely. Bingeing makes sense because it fills that emptiness and gives comfort. Bingeing is a part of what happens to us with mental illness, some choose drugs, others alcohol and us, food. The good thing is when we have more binge free days. I have a binge once a week but when I lost my husband it was like everyday until I would literally pass out. Now it's once a week but so not so bad I pass out like before. My hope is to have one binge every two weeks, then three until I can go a whole month without one. But every day I wake up missing my husband. Everyday. Keep it up Tammy. We will eventually have fewer and fewer binges!! I just know it.

[@Sophiesmakeupbag]

Sending loads and loads of love your way for the loss of Stewie. You did the right thing by him! I found the way you spoke about the binge/restrict cycle so refreshing, which is perhaps selfish of me. When I was a teenager, I had an EDNOS and would not eat for several days to save up for a binge. It was awful, but I was able to recover (though disordered thoughts around food and weight linger long after recovery). You articulated the thought cycle so clearly and I'm so sorry that you feel it too. I really believe in you and, again, am sending so much love and support your way. You've got this! PS - I love your 'need to do' vs. 'want to do' list!

[@Dr-Chantal-Olive-Sarault]

That was a beautiful tribute to Stewie. I sat and cried with his buried but it was very beautiful. He will always be in your memories and heart. Sending you love.

[@sabineschonl225]

I‘m terribly sorry about Stewie, but glad you‘re coping so well. My cat Lucky (15) was diagnosed with cancer in his mouth a few weeks ago, and sadly there‘s nothing we can do about it. He‘s eating less each day now, and seeing him salivate so much makes me so sad. I love him so much, he is the child I never had. Losing him will hurt like hell and I can‘t bear the thought. I admire your strength, Tammy.

[@AKbaby89]

I'm so so sorry for your loss, Tammy. Sending you hugs and love❤️❤️❤️

[@janicehampton5651]

Your tribute to Stewie was beautiful Tammy.....thank you for sharing. You will be missed sweet Stewie🌻

[@zoeariesmumlyons9969]

I love your honesty ❤️, I am sooooo sorry to hear about Stewie. I am a recovering binge eater and it's soooo hard and I struggle with mental health issues. I relate to everything you have said, big hugs and love to you ❤️ x

[@pohle4632]

It's so difficult to help a pet leave us when the time comes. It's our burden when we love them. Hugs from a fellow cat mom.💙

[@Pawcket514]

Im so sorry about the loss of Stewie. You are very strong and I’m sure you will get back on track. Just wondering about the mug and water bottle, is that your merch?!! It’s very cute in any case. Sending you positive healing vibes. 💕💕💕

[@jadehlouise]

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I really admire how you've been dealing with things. Stewie was clearly very loved. ❤️

[@trailofdebris]

i'm so sorry about stewie, but i commend you for making the right decision for your cat, and being there for him until the end. it's what a responsible owner should be doing, and while i'm sorry you had to go through this, i'm glad that stewie had such an awesome person take care of him. may his memory be a blessing 💜 don't be too hard on yourself rn. you've just gone through a traumatic experience and are grieving the loss of a dear friend. that's a lot for anyone to go through. it's great you're trying, but you deserve gentleness and... idk, 'break' is the wrong word, but maybe, leniency? anyone else who tells me they spend the day in bed eating ice cream, after the week you've had? totally understandable. 💜 but it's good to hear you're self-aware and know that punishing yourself for your binge won't help. i hope you can catch a break soon and feel a bit better.

[@Lilybug93]

Hugs Tammy! You are so sweet to your cats, he had a great life. I had to put my dog down last year, it so hard but nice to know they aren’t suffering.

[@phantomx6988]

Im so sorry for your loss Tammy

[@smartiesmcflurry6755]

handsome boi! I think he would've looked very cute in a tux 🐈

[@phantomx6988]

@@smartiesmcflurry6755 He certainly wouldve!!!! Also hi smarties

[@smartiesmcflurry6755]

@@phantomx6988 hi!! recognized you hehe 👨‍🦯

[@jonnieinbangkok]

You gave Stewie 11 years of unconditional love and care and he brought fun and joy to your life...giving him a peaceful end is your final act of love ❤

[@bettymeow9764]

I am so sorry for your loss. I had to make that decision for me dog 6 weeks ago. He had cancer and the vet gave him 3 to 6 months, but he only made it to a couple of weeks. He was on this medication which did help shrink the cancer lumps, but it seemed to have sped up his bad health and he was dying. It is one of the most difficult decisions, but it is an act of true love. It is the kindest thing to do when your furbaby is sick, suffering or in pain.

[@scottbelcher9026]

I’m so sorry about your Stewie… it’s just heartbreaking… hugs and prayers… ❤️🙏 It looks like you did great for such an emotional day…

[@nessan4407]

That is nice of you to think of us and give us a chance to sort of say goodbye to stewie. I’m soo sorry again, lots of love and wishing you sunnier days ☀️ ❤ 🌈 🌻

[@Crimpycurls64]

Rest in peace and power Stewie. It was lovely getting to know you.

[@Penelope.1311]

I just want to say that I also am on a weight loss journey. My heaviest was almost 450, but I am slowly losing. It's definitely baby steps! Try not to be too hard on yourself. If you mess up all you can do is try to do better next time. It's hard, but all you can do is your best 😊 I'm praying for you! 💜

[@shyshy1894]

I’m so sorry for the loss of your cat. I know how hard it is losing a family member. Also please don’t feel alone with what you’re feeling and having to go through. I have also been having a really bad eating week (I literally have only rated hot Cheetos and press for the the past 3 days). I felt discomfort on the first day but kept eating like that for two more days. The only reason I stopped was because I ran out of those foods, had I not, I would probably keep stuffing my face until my stomach popped. I don’t know why I do this to myself. When it gets like this I feel like fasting for a week just to feel ‘normal’ again, but I know that doing that will probably just make me binge more. But no matter how hard it gets, I am determined to figure out how to end this painful cycle. And I know you can too!

[@Kim-cy3fd]

So glad you're treating yourself with some compassion. Being gentle with myself during stressful times is hard.

[@Anne-iq3te]

I'm really sorry about Stewie. Losing a cat (or any pet) is horrible, they really are like family to us. Seeing you bury him was hard, but I'm glad you showed us. I have a lot of respect for the rational and clear headed way you deal with this and how strong you are. Lots of love and digital hugs!

[@ExtraterrestrialGirlNL]

My love for my fur babies is stronger than it would ever be for any human being. I cried so hard watching this.. I hope your other babies had a chance to say goodbye as well and aren't left behind, confused about where their buddy is. Stay strong! Groetjes!

[@mimomi5449]

Im so sorry for your loss😔❣️ about the health/diet/eating: i was a binger too for ca 30 years,and morbide obese as well. What helped me and gave me a New life a few month ago: to REALLY deep dive in the health aspect of my eating habits. Really inform about insulinresistance, Diabetes, the liver,the Pankreas and the gallbladder. ... REALLY inform me,what These exzessive suagergerbinges do to my body, that this things DESTROY my dody AND my soul. I saw another Video from you,where you mentioned that you dont wanna go low carb. I dont wanna Missionare you, but i would say you from my heart,that keto ist a really really helpful Tool to stop the binges. Wish you all the best

[@ericae4419]

New subscriber here. You had a tough week of processing all those sad and difficult emotions. I know what it’s like. The good thing is that you followed your binge by a day of positivity and accomplishments and a new mindset….yay!

[@simplesmeerkat1665]

Aww so very sorry to hear about Stewie. Bless you both, petal. Much loves 😿

[@lisamichelle444]

My heart is breaking! I am so very sorry for your loss Tammy. You are the best cat mom ever ♥ Stewie is now your angel ♥

[@rainyrage]

New to your channel here. So sorry about your kitty but you made a avery kind and compassionate decision. Its a hard choice but he is now at peace ♡ I know you've been having a hard time with food and weight in general but you got this! Just keep on keeping on. YOU control your life, good doesn't.

[@noneofyourbusiness6782]

I am very sorry for your heartbreaking loss, sending you love.

[@nikitee7876]

Tammy I know this was a while ago now but I'm just so sorry 😔 this is heartbreaking. But you need to remember, our pets are so lucky we can make these decisions for them & prevent them suffering more than needed. Sending love & hugs 💗

[@sarah-louiseadore9088]

I'm so sorry Tammy , I'm Sarah I am 25 and I just moved to Norway and I've been binge eating from the age of 7 and understand the struggle. I'm currently 230lbs which is my new lowest but everyday is a struggle not to numb my emotions with food ... tomorrow is a big day for me as I am taking my elderly rabbit to the vets and I'm afraid the news won't be good ..and I'm scared I'll binge because of that but discovering your channel and watching you is helping me know I'm not alone in this struggle and I'm happy to find you .

[@robynfedalen1777]

RIP sweet little Stevie 🌈❤️ So sorry for your loss , hugs to you. 🥰🙏🏻

[@px3979]

I cried watching this video my heart breaks for you and your kitty. Praying for peace. Take care of yourself your lem fam 💜 you. Hugs 🫂

[@irisrose8503]

Lovely photos of Stewie, you gave him a lovely life ❤ Hope you stay on track with your diet

[@stonersiren]

i've been binge watching you (no ed pun intended i swear) for a few days now and it's always sooo comforting to watch you with your cats, this is very sad to hear, but you're soo emotionally mature about it all

[@ByeByeBelly]

RIP beautiful Stewie 💛

[@GreenAndGoth]

These are hard choices to make, and if he’s an elderly cat that’s sometimes a choice you have to make. I’ve been through that myself. And it does sound like he was doing the hiding they do at the end. I’m so sorry that you’re going through such a hard thing right now, sending you much love. May he find peace in the big meadow in the sky. 💕

[@watchthisheadspace]

I'm so sorry about Stewie, I've lost several cat babies over the years and it still tears me up .Thank you for the skip forward option, it makes me too sad to watch/hear about. On a lighter note I loved the dehumanising bit

[@harpymagpie]

I’m so sorry for your lose 😢 we recently lost both our pets within a week of one another. Our dog was attacked by a stray and didn’t make it. Then our cat (who was 20 and his best friend) kinda gave up shortly after. I know how difficult this must be for you but try to take comfort that Stewie had a wonderful life with a fur-mommy that loved him.

[@smartiesmcflurry6755]

this is sad to hear

[@karenlane7239]

Loved the pictures of Stewie … he was a special 🐈.

[@ivanaivanova6525]

Aw I'm so sorry for your loss I'm crying so bad rn 😢

[@barbarawilson4138]

True love of a fur baby is doing the hardest things. To have the courage and love to let go.Sweet Stewie was loved beyond measure.

[@sweetcaroline6724]

I'm sorry for your loss! HUGS

[@Rosieposie648]

I’m sorry for your loss ❤ time will make it easier 😢xx

[@kima9181]

So sorry for your loss. RIP dear sweet Stewie xo

[@karenlanteigne]

Thank you for sharing Stewies burial. My heart broke for you. But, he had such a beautiful life with you. ♥️

[@anniej1004]

RIP Stewie, he had a great life with you Tammy and your other cats will miss him too xx

[@sofian1101]

All love for you! Be nice to you. My heart is whit you!!!

[@Writers4everSoul]

I’m so sorry for your loss 💜

[@lindaluder254]

Hey Tammy!

[@AzaleaBee]

Self pampering is essential. I take extra long warm baths with leftover homemade kefir. So soothing. I hope Tammy takes your suggestion and makes a video with it.

[@candiceyoung8244]

I loved your video for stewie, so sweet. He was very precious and I know a good friend to you. Thank you so much for the video 🍋🍋🍋❤

[@d1ame]

Good bye Stewie, we love you 🤍 Greetings from Costa Rica for you Tammy, I´m so sorry for your loss.

[@karenb282]

RIP, sweet Stewie ❤

[@katrinad9872]

You were and are loved, Stewie ❤️

[@breakinginsanityscycle]

I'm sorry for your loss. Hugs.

[@jokesonyou8163]

🌹 SENDING PRAYERS and POSITIVE VIBES 🙏

[@marlasiebenaler6975]

Tammy you were so responsible for not letting Stewie suffer any longer. Although it was difficult, you did the right thing. I had to make the same decision for my fur baby that I miss every day so I'm here for you.

[@claudiaramer6791]

HI TAMMY may STEWIE R I P WE WILL MISS HIM ! LOVE AND KISSES (BAKERSFIELD GIRL CLAUDIA)

[@mewette]

My parents had to euthanize my childhood cat last autumn. It was a difficult decision, but I’m happy they made it because she had been suffering with an illness for quite some time. My heart goes out to you during your time of mourning!

[@thecityeyes]

Tammy I am sending so much love your way. Loosing a fur baby is not easy. Rest peacefully little Stewie. 💛

[@phillatella6470]

We treat animals more humanely than people. We take away the animals suffering yet we let humans suffer. It's awful. I put down 3 pets when it was time, but I watch my parents suffer and pray for death daily. You did the right thing.

[@avroe1]

💔💛 you did so well for your cat. I’m so sorry

[@EsmeraldaWolfsbane7777]

This is so heartbreaking 💔 dealing with the death of a pet/ best friend is just too much to handle 💔

[@AlohaNLight2All]

Rest In Paradise Stewie. Hope your kitty angel wings fly high buddy. 💕🕊️

[@28sk8masturb8]

Dismantle!!...damn that took me awhile to remember the word you were looking for when you were talking about your table lol xx P.S dont you already have a table that looks similar in your storage room Tams?

[@dutchfemka9717]

Stewie loved you so much and you gave him a good life. I'm sorry he's crossed the rainbow 🌈 bridge. ❤️

[@drrMonManon]

I am so sory about Stewie. It probably was more stressful than you think right now because you are in fighting mode. But it is very very hard to lose a pet that you loved. Also you are such a smart and strong person I wish you all the best.

[@glamgal1436]

I’m so sorry for your kids Tammy ❤

[@LyndsSTFU]

im so sorry about Stewie~ It's so hard.