Stupid Human Tricks 9/25/2012, The Late Show w/David Letterman

Mark Hayward & Jonathan Burns: Mark lights a book of matches held in Jonathan's teeth with a yo-yo. (Mark's other appearance: • Stupid Human Tricks 9/... )
Pete Moir: Hula Hoop Pull-Ups
Jonathan Fudge & Corey Watts: Jonathan makes a balloon dog through Corey's face
Show #3730. Posted with permission from Letterman. Strangely, they never posted this episode. I'll gladly take this down if they ever do, but people should be able to see it!
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[@tomsnapper9733]

Fun fact: there was an episode where frank vogel was doing a trick, he is now a nba champion coach with the lakers

[@4seeableTV]

That was cool of Mark to put the whole segment online and not just his section.

[@MarkHayward]

It's nice to see the segment in its entirety.

[@lynnkesh254]

Letterman to the yo-yo n match guy ''That's what the Amish do instead of television'😂😂😂😂

[@Brian-uy2tj]

The dog balloon through the face was pretty funny, icky, but funny!

[@Maya_Pinion]

What was icky was when that chic let her 🦆 duck eat cottage cheese outta her mouth.😳

[@Brian-uy2tj]

@@Maya_Pinion Hard to believe considering this video didn't have anything like that. You must've been binging and are thinking of some other video.

[@hiitsme6639]

"So you're disgruntled." Pretty good description for all of us at work.

[@bossfan49]

Jonathan Burns was on Fool Me with Penn & Teller in 2017. He did a great card trick and he was HILARIOUS!!!

[@psarj]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/h5y7YaNjgdaWd8ksi=QaCa6E5FS6vb2EYW

[@shannono8397]

love when 1st guest said for audience to slow down their clapping, lol

[@sseltrek1a2b]

Jonathan Burns did a hilarious magic act on, "Penn and Teller's: Fool Us"...

[@MarkHayward]

Yeah, wasn't that great? He asked me to make a new prop for him after that appearance. I can't wait to see it in action!

[@sseltrek1a2b]

@@MarkHayward so funny, and the script for it was so well thought out...

[@MarkHayward]

@@sseltrek1a2b Jonathan is brilliant.

[@captainscentsible1811]

He looked familiar,

[@SHENDOH]

I've always wanted to be on STUPID HUMAN TRICKS I've been practicing my whole life!!!!

[@drew_peabawls13]

Hmm lemme guess...you drag your knuckles when you walk? Are you Shaquille O'Neal?

[@SHENDOH]

@@drew_peabawls13 hmmm let me guess. You're in love with coq? Are you Bruce Jenner?

[@gtamediaproductions1]

This is what I looked forward to watching this show. Love this segment!

[@csnide6702]

The hula hoop pullups are actually quite a skill..... but hey --- lighting matches with a yo-yo ..... that's good.... ! the balloon was just gross

[@mikeroullier6875]

If your upset with me,...email me!!🤣🤣🤣

[@dgeneric7518]

I want to be on this so bad. I can dance while balancing things on my head. Perfect!

[@sha11235]

Well, too late, since Dave is no longer on Late Show.

[@patharris3197]

ive seen that guy on penn and teller fool us!

[@mikeroullier6875]

Love Dave!!! Incredibly funny!!

[@brannanburdette2558]

Letterman has had receding hairline for 30 plus years and still ain’t bald?

[@oobaka1967]

A friend has an advancing hairline and I'm not even joking.

[@dondoyle8474]

They aren’t watching. That’s what made Dave one of the greatest at quick whit 🤣🤣👍

[@coolchrisrm]

amazing thank you

[@robcotnam47]

"Johnathan Burns"... aptly named!

[@bossfan49]

Hey-ohhhh!

[@wingerfan1]

How the hell does one decide that they’re going to make a balloon animal through someone’s nose? Lol.

[@sha11235]

That third one was sick!

[@parrangathe1492]

Nice one

[@briant6669]

4:00 thats the cheese magician from penn and teller fool us.

[@majorskepticism7836]

Balloon dog - I think we have a winner.

[@shahw2469]

The good ole days of comedy, letterman leno conan

[@Maya_Pinion]

Carson, Ferguson,stewart

[@richardscratcher5700]

You can see Jonathan Burns (3.50 check shirt) when he appeared on Penn and Teller's "Fool Us" .See his hilarious magic/comedy act at kzbin.info/www/bejne/h5y7YaNjgdaWd8k

[@sciencedavedunning3415]

I'm looking for the stupid pet trick when the bull terrier hung by his teeth with the hula hoop going round and round. That dog never got tired

[@grimdrum2396]

The Amish survive without any outside necessity. We all should be so efficient.

[@artonline01]

That looks like a Magician that was on Fool Us

[@MarkHayward]

It is. His name is Jonathan Burns, and he's awesome.

[@Brucelee-pv6uf]

‏‪4:25‬‏ you look really professional wow❤ ‏‪5:22‬‏ very smart answer 😂

[@pphedup]

Hula just lost bunches of students.

[@sealteamryx6758]

It's the cheese wiz!

[@ineedanewname9595944]

My friend Ray has to see this. He would do "the chain trick" back in the day!!!

[@MarkHayward]

I don't know "the chain trick". There is a trick called Magic Rings where you weave the string over your fingers, and then they "magically" get free. Is that what you're talking about?

[@ineedanewname9595944]

Putting a chain thru his nose and pulling it out of his mouth. Gross.

[@MarkHayward]

Ah yes, that one. It doesn't hurt as much if you do it with something smooth like a balloon. Super gross. I love it.

[@FreakyFirestorm]

@@MarkHayward i thought he was talking about a yo-yo trick too when I read this but then he was talking about the nose dude lol.

[@oBdurate]

Do you have the rest of this episode? It should have an interview with heart surgeon Leonard Girardi which I can't find anywhere on the internet.

[@MarkHayward]

I will look. I'm pretty sure I don't though.

[@oBdurate]

@@MarkHayward Thanks so much for checking. Loved the performance by the way!

[@captainscentsible1811]

Is this the reason Guinness World records is so saturated with odd records haa

[@678friedbed]

it's the cheese across guy with all the chimes.

[@MarkHayward]

Yup. And the other guy too.

[@anne-droid7739]

This made a bad day happy--the first time around, and now again. Thank you, Sweetie!

[@fett4life250]

Anne-droid... that's a supercool handle. GODAMMIT I MISS DAVE !!!!!

[@keithrozeski8463]

3:48. I think the guy on the left was just on America's Got Talent this year.

[@MarkHayward]

Yes he was. That's Jonathan Burns. He was awesome.

[@678friedbed]

he was also on pen and teller fool us.

[@qwertyuioplkmjnhbgvfcdxsza]

@Mark Hayward they are happy. Im jealous.

[@Brucelee-pv6uf]

‏‪3:25‬‏ 😂😂😂😂😂

[@brokeeper2007]

It made me gag to just watch it.

[@idkaboutthisfuckoffyoutube1041]

3:45 hey wait that’s the attention seeking cheese magician

[@MarkHayward]

Yup. His name is Jonathan Burns. He's awesome.

[@grimdrum2396]

Hi Mark, I would love to see the wooden machines that you make. My father was a master wood carver and I am fascinated with wood sculptures!

[@MarkHayward]

Awesome! I have some of them on the playlist below, and I have several that I have video of but haven't posted yet. I'll try to get on that ASAP kzbin.info/aero/PLweomkkjgGqMMlIlvQCoTCLzDE0Zr68jX

[@grimdrum2396]

@Mark Hayward Nice work! Looking forward to seeing more!!

[@MarkHayward]

@@grimdrum2396 The Whisker Whirler at the end of the playlist is the second to last thing I made, and probably the best story. I'll try to get footage of my new one, Whisker Wings, up soon

[@grimdrum2396]

@Mark Hayward I'm curious of how you came up with the idea of the Whisker whirler?

[@grimdrum2396]

I love all of your "machines"

[@rcarmisin3465]

What a walk down memory land, now back to TikTok.

[@Marco-lv8co]

I am not shaking, to late, they tried the trick, ten times before they game in.

[@ruthecker399]

love dave miss him

[@ContentWizard]

Both the most impressive and grossest trick was the one at the end. (Almost enjoyable… :-)

[@kevinbasden9896]

So disgruntled means unhappy. If I'm gruntled am I happy?

[@martinstrength8532]

Jonathan "Burns" from Pennsylvania.

[@MarkHayward]

Yup. No need for quotes, that's his real last name. www.flexiblecomedy.com/

[@caseyinmi1315]

I hung out with some Ohio Amish . . . They were awesome and fun holy smokes they drank beers,and smokes cigarettes . . .

[@danceswithcarsdc]

Freak show in talent form

[@louielouiepks]

That was hot

[@hailsagan8886]

Dave was a good host

[@jackgibsxxx0750]

Yes hotties!!! What else??!!?? I have got to get me that dream job.

[@MarkHayward]

It's true... we are living the dream.

[@roostersideburns3440]

did he call that guy dumb?

[@MarkHayward]

Yup. Letterman is hilarious!

[@golbez3794]

You should see him when he had Richard Simmons on...

[@caseyb1316]

Johnathan Burns has been around for a while

[@bossfan49]

10 years after this he was on Penn & Teller doing comedy/magic. He was awesome.

[@sailaab]

06:24

[@MarkHayward]

It was so hard to maintain my focus and not crack up at that moment! 😆

[@sailaab]

Can imagine friend.🙂 You both did great! Would love to know how you all have been doing since. Wishes and prayers that life has been kind to you.🤍💙 . Much appreciate your large heartedness in uploading the whole segment, including the acts from others. Goes to show.. who you are as an individual. . Greetings from an (at times) equally wacky person.. in India.

[@MarkHayward]

@@sailaab Things are going well. I'm continuing to do my show and make a living, I can't complain.

[@sailaab]

🤍💙👌🏽🙂👍🏼

[@watchgoose]

no need to be rude about the Amish.

[@sha11235]

You must get a lot of girls from this act.