Table News: Weather, Animals, and Bono

[@Ben_Brainard]

Next on Tour: 11/8: Tallahassee, FL - SOLD OUT 11/9: Tallahassee, FL - Fire Betty’s 11/13: Gainesville, FL - High Dive 11/16: Naples, FL - Off the Hook 11/18-19: Tampa, FL 11/23: Orlando, FL 11/30: Jacksonville, FL 12/3: Burbank, CA 12/7: Memphis, TN 12/8-10: Little Rock, AR

[@MrJavixd1000]

Wait, gainesville Florida actually exist?, i thought the Simpsons made it up? You can use this for your stand up, because i actually thought about it

[@angelastone4806]

Do you plan on coming to WA state anytime soon? Would love to see you at the Tacoma comedy club soon!

[@josephteller9715]

So first the FL dates to get new material for all the rest?

[@kdkejeiebeudhueje5377]

Me being bad at Geography: I did not know that Jacksonville was a real place .I thought it was a made up place by Stephenie Mayer because in twilight first movie I heard the word ( Jacksonville)

[@kdkejeiebeudhueje5377]

@@MrJavixd1000 I thought the same thing about Jacksonville but made up in twilight

[@rambleonwithrosie]

I've never wanted anything so bad as "Florida Man of the Week" to become a recurring thing during Table News from here on out.

[@Duncan_Campbell]

I did think of Florida when I read that story.

[@gerbilman2464]

YES

[@derekpalm9919]

agreed need flarida man of the week from now on

[@DaremKurosaki]

Might I direct you to Radio Dead Air and their weekly "What the Fuck is Wrong With You?" series? It's a weekly show of stupid stories from the last week, *usually* featuring at least one from Florida (and heaven help you if the week doesn't, it means some shit went down). kzbin.info

[@worldeditor6985]

+1

[@chanticleer0714]

I love that Florida Man of the Week doesn't have to actually be a man in Florida. 🤣

[@radionowhere2870]

Florida man in spirit. 🤔🤣

[@PhrontDoor]

Yeah, there was this lawsuit on the Protected Class being changed to Protected Lack-of-Class.

[@deadpool569]

I'm just glad we won it this week

[@-FutureTaken-]

Next Australia is gonna win FMotW!

[@MonkeyJedi99]

@@deadpool569 You can't go wrong betting on SOMEONE in the Common"wealth" of Taxachusetts going on an anger bender.

[@SarcasticasKel]

“If not friend then why friend shaped” Agreed! Pet all kitties big & small😊

[@Drasoini]

My epitaph will be something like "Tried to pet something he shouldn't have" with my last words being "pspspspspsp"

[@sosukelele]

Bears unfortunately fall in the same category

[@kittylynndale5264]

Are you from Florida by any chance? 😂😂😂😂😂

[@SarcasticasKel]

@@kittylynndale5264 lol I am not.

[@abm5119]

I know this isn't reddit but r/leopardsatemyface

[@Drew_Dannie]

All in favor of "Florida Man of the Week" being a recurring part of The Table?? 👍🏻

[@cabern5346]

Sounds like something that there should be a petition that the government character acknowledges but declines for reasons

[@KireaPhillips_superj0ka]

Aye!

[@epleprekahn4238]

Ope

[@alexvives1335]

@@cabern5346 and yet Florida will still do it.

[@tiffanyhaddox7499]

Yes!!! 👍

[@erichfiedler1481]

California: They must be really confident to find new hobbies Idaho: Are you saying they go to drag shows or that they are the drag queens? Cali: Yes!

[@ch__rl]

yo! i also watched the video this is from!

[@mikesneed4102]

And Californians move here in flocks and are ruining the state

[@bemasaberwyn55]

Is it ALARMING to ANYONE else how easily California channeled Fl9rida?

[@greenpuprazor9704]

@@bemasaberwyn55 we're a third of the way there

[@bemasaberwyn55]

@@greenpuprazor9704 😂😂😂

[@roosterrox933]

Washingtonian here, wasn’t just dads. You live in Washington, you expect rain. You don’t get rain and it sucks. So happy for the rain to be back 🌧

[@itwasagoodideaatthetime7980]

You could have our rain. It's summer here in Australia, but the weather still thinks it's winter! Seriously its non stop rain & cold. I haven't even put my winter quilts away. Or unpacked any of my summer clothing yet it's that cold.

[@TheLastJack]

I was so excited to see rain finally

[@angelastone4806]

As a resident of pierce county I can confirm it was also a ton of football moms as well. We were all so excited to have rain for our last two games of the season to not sweat our asses off + struggling to breath while not even playing😂😂 Plus the teams enjoyed it a ton as well so they could have their “who can get their practice Jersey the muddiest” contest for once this season lol.

[@josephteller9715]

@@itwasagoodideaatthetime7980 but if its raining it means you're not on fire, which is a good thing....

[@sentientmarshmallow4644]

I live in washington and I do not expect rain please stop spreading misinformation ❤ -sincerely someone living in the rain shadow

[@DycuswasHere]

“What this? An house being evicted with a serious lack of bees? My briefcase of bees should do the trick!!!”

[@grmpEqweer]

SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIENDS!! _Aaaaaaah!_ 🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝

[@Drew_Dannie]

It was 2 very large hives in the back of a beat-up pickup truck. 🤣🐝🍯

[@GambeTama]

For once, this situation has been made better by he addition of more bees!

[@averagejoey2000]

bee case

[@mohona.b]

As a cat person, I have to say I really appreciated "big chungus" and "If not friend then why friend shaped" 🥺💙

[@tiffanyhaddox7499]

Same here

[@beckylewis70]

I would also like the answer to that particular question too!!! All kitties need love, cuddles, pets and treats!!!!

[@MistsMagic]

As a dad in Washington... We did breathe that sigh of relief

[@TheLastJack]

As a not-dad in Washington… solid agree

[@blackvial]

And didn't immediately start coughing up a lung

[@MistsMagic]

@@blackvial I mean... I did. But that's because we found Black mold.

[@imac.13]

And we actually got to breathe it too.

[@platinumraven118]

Not a father, but I did say "this is good, we needed this" on the first day of rain down here in Washington. So I feel rather called out.

[@rd6203]

Prettt sure that the only people who call Washington "down" are Canadians 🤨😄

[@platinumraven118]

@@rd6203 I would willingly say "Down Here" to refer to a plane actively in the stratosphere

[@Victoria-ov9yw]

Yesss!!! The Table is back! Another great episode and it was so good to see the gang again

[@rdarkstorm8414]

You left out an important part of the bee lady attack, one of the cops said he was allergic and her response was "oh you're allergic? Good." And that one sentence just tells me so much about the sorta person she is (stopping evictions also clued me in some lol)

[@B2WM]

That's some Bad Ass Granny Weatherwax energy.

[@yeenyi8815]

The woman who attacked with bees gives me vibes of if you mess with one of the bee keepers on tiktok. And they'd say: And this was another great day of saving the bees🐝🐝🐝

[@kimicappiello5480]

I think I am subscribed to that lady. I just saw her remove bees from someone's decorative lawn toilet... And she definitely ended with that exact quote about saving the bees. (I'm also still confused about the lawn toilet, but I expect nothing less from some people... but it was there long enough for the entire tank to be entirely filled with honey combs...) Edit: I watch her on KZbin, not tiktok, but most of tiktok just ends up on KZbin anyway... Same with reddit.

[@trashytoizer]

I UNINTENTIONALLY READ THAT IN HER VOICE. I WAS SHOCKED TO HEAR ANOTHER VOICE. I LITERALLY GASPED

[@kimicappiello5480]

@@trashytoizer 🤣🐝

[@jasonm2081]

I chuckled at the Washington/Oregon one. I literally saw my Brother in law in Vancouver do that...

[@narwhalwithaknife9465]

As someone from Washington that was suffering from the smoke, this is accurate. We needed this.

[@NighDarke]

In defense of them mistaking a big ole house cat for a mountain lion, have you seen a fully grown male Maine Coon? Because damn!

[@asmaabushneba2263]

THE TABLE IS BACK!!! ❤

[@cam9870]

refreshed my youtube browser on accident to see this posted 30 seconds ago. god truly provides 🎉

[@James_Irish]

I've never been so proud of California as I was for that last line. ♥️🤣

[@InariHoshi]

Yea Alabama's constitution is long, and is a literal book (I am from Bama and have seen copies of said book. It's thick.) Glad to see Bama getting love though. I would love to see a table session discussing all of them. It would be hilarious.

[@HoneyBakedHam7]

Even Florida was impressed by the number

[@kyscco24]

At what amendment number would it be appropriate to just overhaul it and write a new constitution for the state?

[@mkvenner2]

@@kyscco24 I think they pasted that a long time ago.

[@susanvinson2667]

I agree it would be a whole video. It’s an insane document.

[@MegaKhelditia]

I live in Portland, and I could smell the wildfire smoke getting rained out of the air, down here. The whole PNW needed this 💚

[@Lopal12]

alabama: "i dont know about that ive had like 950 of em" the states: "visible confusion"

[@Ben_Brainard]

In 2nd place is California with a DISTANT 500

[@Lopal12]

@@Ben_Brainard wow (makes sence given how its cali {oh no ive summoned him})

[@MrJavixd1000]

@@Lopal12 no, you have to say frisco to summon Cali

[@Lopal12]

@@MrJavixd1000 lol how bout the n-word

[@curiousKuro16]

The debate between changing things as society changes and keeping things for posterity rages on.

[@kittyroid8123]

Yeah, I haven't enjoyed walking in the rain this much since we lived in Texas. It wasn't just the WA dad sticking their heads out and saying we needed the rain.

[@In_TheMoonlight]

I can confirm, everyone in Washington DID collectively utter a sigh of relief at the first rain of the season

[@blackjacktrial]

As an Australian we understand. Also, we may have all your rain right now :( to the point of it flooding towns over and over.

[@roroasu]

As an Arkansan, there's a lot of us here working to defeat those two ballot measures.

[@mckenzie2423]

Didn’t know about them, but like yeah that’s not good.

[@fishsteakyelk341]

Quick question how are they that bad? The first one I could see some problems with but even then it just seems to be making them less reliant on the executive and the second one just seems like common sense to have a majority of people approve a amendment.

[@roroasu]

@@fishsteakyelk341 The first one strips out some of the checks and balances between the executive and legislative branches of the state government. As for the second, we already have a measure in place that requires a majority (50%+1) to approve of a ballot measure or constitutional amendment. With that simple majority, we've passed things that would never get through our heavily gerrymandered legislature. Things like marriage equality, medical marijuana, and a minimum wage increase. Now the GOP politicians don't like that the people are getting progressive measures passed and want it to stop. So they are trying to boost the threshold to 60% so we can never get anything through again. Like Ben said, taking power away from the people.

[@almostfm]

@@roroasu Assuming that it's a popular referendum, gerrymandering has nothing to do with it, since everyone in the state votes on it. And in a case like that, I don't think requiring 60% is necessarily a bad thing when it comes to amending the state constitution.

[@cosydewgaming9749]

yessss this instantly made my day better to see a new episode:))

[@Annie_Annie__]

I’m in south Texas. We got a cold front today. It knocked the temperature down to 75° today. It’s supposed to be back up to 87° tomorrow. So we didn’t even need to look for the one hoodie we own, let alone a coat.

[@Pepperoniburrito]

Live in southern Minnesota. You have no clue how often people claim to see mountain lions that turn out to be house cats

[@alexab913]

Oh so that’s why that random album appeared in my iTunes all those years ago. Never heard the story back then but now things make a lot more sense thanks!

[@nica7049]

Glad to know you’re doing better, Ben

[@lauramuse910]

Native Iowan here: The “Iowa University” shirt was spot on. I also applaud your Tacit support of the University of Iowa with the Black and Gold. Go Hawks.

[@skhootman]

Raygun shirts are the best

[@sprionglyspingy5065]

Florida man of the week. This here is perfection.

[@shreeshashastry4713]

After long time table is back 😍

[@jinxiejae]

Yay the states are back!

[@skar9556]

I love the fact that you can google your birthday, followed by "Florida man" and you got yourself a great story that happened on your birthday.. Mine was "Florida man threatens to attack everyone with his army of turtles."

[@robmack519]

Well now that's a thing I HAVE to do right now. Brb ... "Florida man hit pregnant girlfriend with bag of tortilla chips over baby's paternity." Well worth the time.

[@TheOriginalMaudlin]

Florida man arrested in Naples Olive Garden while intoxicated and shoveling spaghetti into his mouth

[@avani8468]

“Naked Florida man with crossbow who claims aliens were after him shot in the armpit by cop” 😂 he was also high

[@MyleneBlanc]

"Florida man who allegedly threatened family with Coldplay lyrics ends standoff after SWAT promises him pizza" It's even worst with a quote from the SWAT : "Never underestimate the power of pizza with flavored crust. Yes, it’s true. We ended a standoff with a barricaded suspect by delivering him a pizza. We cannot comment on the rumors about pineapple being on said pizza - Operational Security and all that." This is the funniest shit ever 🤣

[@thejestor9378]

@@MyleneBlanc now that’s deescalating.

[@BobbiKay-]

Being from Arkansas, I appreciate the honest portrayal of so how people there think. I also agree with California's perspective! Moving back to Arkansas next year.

[@aaronwilliams6862]

Idahoan here i like that ben despite his bias honestly portrayed the issue. Yes there would be consequences but its something to think about. Yes 1 would give more power to the legislature and inevitably someone is going to abuse it but should one person hold the power to call a special session? Plus we often know our local reps better than the governor. As for 2 if 50% vote to change then theres a concern that almost half dont want the change it needs discussion and consideration that's why its on the ballot. Its not that were doing it just considering it and people will have a choice.

[@tessisweird]

yay! we got a new episode!

[@lemongrasseyelids]

a very large chunk of washington breathed a sigh of relief when it finally rained. though it is very funny that we went from smoke, dry heat, and no rain to now expecting snowfall in the next couple weeks.

[@stormerkromy988]

Something The Pacific Northwest and the Midwest share. Dads, and other men, love to look out at rain and say "We needed this"

[@Abbyxx812]

Thanks for bringing up the coat thing in the South. I moved to the Northeast and I had to get actual coats. I was shocked.

[@jenfern4554]

Florida is always my favorite!

[@winterwonderland1491]

Washington and Oregon my favorite pair of siblings

[@anno_mundi]

I always learn so much about the US in these videos

[@alyssafinch6853]

How did I only NOW find out that’s how that got on my phone?! 😂

[@abm5119]

Washington got their first rainfall in 4 months? Wow, their gills must have been really dry.

[@abrahamo2895]

HOW HAVE I NOT HEARD OF THAT MASSACHUSETTS STORY?? I LIVE SO CLOSE TO HADLEY I WOULD THINK THAT WOULD BE A BIG STORY

[@rogerstroklund6809]

Idaho's shirt is one of my top five favorites. Nothing beats SoDak, but Idaho's up there.

[@josephwilson9082]

The bloopers are my favorite

[@AlliedX]

I told somebody online I was from Oregon. I had to say "the state above California and below Washington" They were American

[@Lilly-Lilac]

Yeah. People usually forget oregon exists. Although we can be simplified to just a slightly more rainy Washington to be fair

[@silvermoon5065]

As an Iowan there was actually a mountain line here in central about two weeks ago so the reports weren't wrong. Also more of iowa pls

[@jacobh1833]

Love the long look at the 950 number.

[@fryreartechnology7611]

Woot Arkansas!!

[@whiteraven181]

Always happy to see a new episode out. Here's another comment to feed the ever-ravenous algorithm's eternal demand.

[@laurenflowerslament]

I am so happy watching this

[@LCRoeComics]

Yay!! New table video!

[@TacticalUniverse]

"Issue 1 and 2." "Sounds like a Halloween costume for twins." 😂☠️

[@michellewest4796]

Every single person that I spoke to said some version of "we needed this" after the rain. Not even joking. Facebook, in person, text message, every person said it.

[@travisn92]

Yes finally back to the table

[@guybayo2002]

"You're insane." "And YOU're welcome!!!"🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@TinyDog_SummerGirl]

Rewatching this reminds me of how about two weeks ago there was an alert in south jersey for EHT that there was a panther sighting that that gotten loose from a licensed keeper but in truth it was just a cane corso dog that had gotten loose

[@Jian13]

We in fact did need this.

[@nicksquatch7212]

Iowa may not have had a mountain lion but we had 2 here in Illinois!

[@curiousKuro16]

Now that is interesting! Do you know what part of Illinois?

[@nicksquatch7212]

​@@curiousKuro16 One was near in Dekalb county, the other was in Springfield

[@curiousKuro16]

@@nicksquatch7212 Wow that's super close to a big city! Very interesting. Did they take them away?

[@nicksquatch7212]

​@@curiousKuro16 The one in Dekalb was struck and killed by a vehicle on the interstate. The one in Springfield was tranquilized and move to a reserve in Indiana

[@curiousKuro16]

@@nicksquatch7212 Ooo! I wonder if it's the one near me! Thank you for the update!

[@Whisper_292]

Issue One and Two need to go on all the baby name lists.

[@cassiegortner9523]

As someone who lives in WA, we definitely did need this. Also, my dad, who works in ID, has done drag and is unamused with pretty much all of ID's legislation.

[@pokerpokerfla]

So good everytime

[@harl3quinn]

As a born Spud, the answer for the drag shows is certainly yes.

[@JackPinesBlacksmithing]

We did need this, though. Shame it’ll be snow next week already, though.

[@theanimalking6976]

Iowa needs to join the table

[@kokyleod]

Dude, you are on fire in Tallahassee.

[@JoAnnaQuincey]

Nice one Ben

[@corgi42069]

I grew up next to Hadley, this was seriously strange news for the area.

[@josephteller9715]

Its one of the crazy places... 5k population and 2 state parks as the main attractions... and apparently a bunch of crazy "Sovereign Citizens" that think they can get away with not paying taxes?

[@missipenix]

I am concerned and somehow delighted by how pleased and intrigued Florida looked at the thought of 950 amendments.

[@kennguin3797]

YOU GOT THE CAT THING SO TRUE! ALL OF US ARE LIKE THAT

[@the_phantom_cat7912]

Tbh the cold front in the south isn't likely to cause problems because of the _cold_ it's more likely to cause problems because of the severe thunderstorms it'll bring

[@eacalvert]

Nicely done

[@bland9876]

As in Idaho and I'm scared of all three of those at the end. Basically I usually agree with California and disagree with Texas.

[@maggieoconnor413]

Good to know as a Massachusetts native, you know how to say Hadley correct

[@gggiiillllllyyy]

As a brit I am offended! You mentioned Liz but you didn't even say a word about our hero the Lettuce that outlasted her! 😆 keep up the great vids.

[@zoehoffman2376]

I almost passed you buy until I saw your face. I got a smile on my face and watched. Thank you for your funny ass shit LoL

[@zenixcannon2ndaccount952]

Yes these vids are WAY BETTER

[@BasicDrumming]

Great video.

[@michaelsotkiewicz6675]

Honestly thought you were talking about the Kentucky amendments at first when I got distracted and pulled back into the video.

[@SunnyAquamarine2]

Spot-on Iowa.

[@mackthompson616]

the eviction bees thing is iconic tbh

[@carsonpearce5980]

Critical support for bees woman

[@sillygoosetaur]

hello bees

[@suzannepottsshorts]

I was in a university parking lot once, and I heard a group of people complaining they would be late because there were so few signs directing them to Ohio State. I probably should have told them they were in Ames, Iowa. 🤷🤦

[@MelancholyRogue]

Spokane, 10 months later: we needed this

[@lemonlemonlemonlemonlemonlemo]

idaho!! you included my state :D

[@thnecromaniac]

I agree with Arkansas on Issue 2, a constitutional admendment, is indeed a big thing, expecialy when it's state baised.

[@miguelmachuca452]

LISTEN WE DID NEED IT

[@Norrisvideo]

Nice rare Arkansas appearance! Also if you're in TN, we have an amendment on the ballot to remove slavery from the TN constitution even for those who are in jail. Be sure to vote!

[@BrazenSal]

I'm from Hadley that got me dying. Hadley we got grumpy farmer, college kids and Karens.

[@divinita6012]

I am very happy with "Florida Man of the Week"

[@evanneihouser9567]

Seems like so much longer ago than 2014 that the U2 album got automatically downloaded to our phones and couldn't be removed for a couple months.

[@Jack-lm8ry]

Seriously though, the rain made the whole corridor breathable again

[@iCuddleAfter6]

I would like a mixture of the daily show style news with also this table stuff maybe once a week?

[@westrim]

I agree with Arkansas about raising the threshold for constitutional amendments. 50% threshold is part of why California's is among the longest in the world (Alabama's is THE longest) with 514 amendments. And there are some real stinkers in there; the populace at large is not always the best arbiter of rights and laws, which is part of why we have a representative democracy to filter public sentiment. It's logical for laws which have such a low amount of review and a high threshold for removal to also have a high threshold for implementation.

[@Shawn-si6vz]

Surprised Arkansas wasn't in Walmart merch.

[@amashizaino]

I was looking to see what was on the ballot this year for District 5 in Idaho but I didn't see anything about the drag shows thing on it. Just that other thing about giving them more power. 😕