talking about my mental illness and going to a rage room to feel better

[@denisefernandes3887]

Started with "how to grow my hair" and now I'm here. Sending you a virtual hug

[@Ellabellaaaaaaaa]

Same! These videos are almost like therapy now❤❤❤❤

[@kristinaengel2672]

sometimes i feel like - the more you build up in your life (for example routines, going to the gym etc.) the harder a depressive episode will kick in... because then i can just think about my productive me and all the routines i wanna get back on track with and that makes it even harder to get out of these episodes.. lots of love to you kayla, you will rock this when you´re ready for it

[@Tuka066]

This is so damn real 😭

[@itwaslegendari]

10929929%

[@mivical]

rest also needs to be part of a routine, take care of yourself

[@kristinaengel2672]

@@mivical that’s true though 🥰

[@iridescenrose]

you are the only creator who has truly TALKED about PMDD. i’ve had it since i was 14 (they misdiagnosed me with Bipolar Type 2 at first…not kidding) but it was PMDD the whole time. just, thank you so much for talking about it, including derealization. both things have ruined my life sometimes or put me in dark places. i know how you feel girl.

[@Katherine_xs]

I appreciate you being so vulnerable, we all struggle and I think I judged you too harshly because no offense but you look like you have it very easy.

[@hopesloan5932]

Same thing happened to me with the bipolar 2 diagnosis being pmdd, so wild

[@iridescenrose]

@@hopesloan5932 women’s health is critically understudied 😪

[@Ariaa.h]

"I give too much shits" LITERALLY ME TOO, AS MUCH AS I TRY TO NOT CARE I ALWAYS DO😭

[@Iovelaced]

LITERRALLYYY

[@jennifermarie8979]

Fr

[@nickiebledsoe6302]

Same!

[@BWormy]

*many

[@rimshakhalid777]

REALEST THING IVE READ TODAY YESS ITS SO FRUSTRATING

[@avg1303]

from adhd to pmdd to derealization (I didn’t even know this was a thing that other people experienced too !!) thank you for talking about this because I feel so SEEN. It’s so scary going through episodes because you don’t see others experiencing it and you deadass feel crazy. I adore you, we all adore you-thank you for talking about mental health ❤️

[@Erlymroz]

I get so suicidal right before my period it’s scary. I’m glad someone is talking about these mental health issues.

[@TheMirandalorian]

Wow... I remember your channel at 20k... I'm so happy for you & thank you for being such an honest person

[@ericalynn6881]

I missed these ambient vlogs so much I still watch your old ones 🩵🫶🏻

[@emmeliehalilovic]

omg same

[@Lexixrae]

kayli, i struggle with all the same things. here’s a list: depression anxiety ocd adhd panic disorder pmdd bipolar disorder i will be right here to confirm that yes, god did put you on this earth for this reason. about a year ago, i was being abused severely physically and mentally by my ex boyfriend. your videos about hair were my only escape. when we broke up, your personality and channel encouraged me to find myself again. i did my makeup, i did my hair and nails, i felt like me again. thank you so much and don’t worry about posting so much and stressing yourself out. we love you :)

[@Ahsovy]

I’m so glad you said “ex” boyfriend girlie, take care 💖

[@Lexixrae]

@@Ahsovy thank you :)

[@a.n.n.a428]

14:22 is something that I can relate to so much. It’s like you know you ’should’ get better and kinda know how to but you just have 0% energy to do it

[@coquettecutiee]

Thats literally the best way to describe it!!🫶🏻

[@Mniamniusnegreckieciasteczko]

as a girl dealing with derealisation for couple years, it will get better, it will come back sometimes but it will get better, you need to accept it, derealisation is just your brain trying to calm you down, it's your brain's way to protect you from "danger", take care, love you guys

[@sandrazandra0]

❤ thank you 🙏 I struggle from Derealization after having had panic attacks and its so scary. This gives me hope

[@gorlwhoisamazing]

Derealisation is what I’ve struggled with a lot before. It’s actually awful it ruins a lot, but it gets better honestly

[@stephanierios9807]

Heavy on the self sabotage part!! I’m 28 and for some reason I’m at a phase where it hit me that life is short and it’s going faster and faster as I get older. I’ve come to realization that I must enjoy every moment that God blesses me with and to fulfill every purpose he puts my way. He will get us through it girl keep your head help up high ❤

[@zoeunderwood5377]

The book Period Repair Manual really helped me understand my PMDD! I recommend it to anyone trying to understand hormones!!! HORMONES can change everything! Thanks for sharing your experiences and thoughts! Be kind to yourself! Drink a glass of water and say hey I love myself for drinking this glass of water! Sometimes the simplest tasks are what we are able to accomplish that day and that’s totally okay! btw your hair looks amazing! ❤

[@hannahconant2889]

Thank you for talking about your mental illness. I feel like I dont hear anyone talk about it this in depth. I have the same issues that you do and it feels crazy to explain it to other people

[@tehejuliannetehe]

i love kayli's videos they are so calming. sending so much love

[@Thena88]

So nice to hear someone talk about the derealization. Everything you said about it is so true! I feel like no one talks about it because it can sometimes not make sense to someone who hasn't dealt with it. You put it into great words. Thank youu for bringing light to it.💕💕

[@nothingijustlikeyou]

I just want to say thank you for being so real and honest about your experience. It’s SO HARD to want to get better sometimes, even when I know exactly how to get better. This has made me more aware of my self sabotage instead of just accepting the negative thoughts. I’d love to see more videos about your mental health journey!

[@eirinceciliegjedrem]

If all you did today was breathe; even if that too was hard - was enough. You are always good enough, beautiful soul ❤

[@inesmelissaa]

I think you've just described something I haven't been able to describe myself... I think that's what's happening to me for years now. I've been dissociating and life goes on and I don't realize until one day I think "wow it has been 2 years already..." not funny to experience at all.

[@KaylinVlogs]

I love that you are just telling real life stuff that sucks. I’ve noticed I’ve had anxiety more frequently now and I’ve also had panic attacks for a while now. I know part of what you’re going through and you’re not alone! All of your videos are so therapeutic to me! Love you Kayli ❤

[@annietheskittle6885]

I relate to this SO much especially the executive dysfunction and the derealization. So proud of you and sending you so much love! Will always be here no matter how long take a break for

[@Bw_sjcue]

I'm so happy you posted. I was worried about you watching it. I really hope you feel better, kayli 🤍🤍

[@Bernadette1936-o8y]

I am so glad that someone has finally talked about derealization I have it and it's so hard for me. Everything you have talked about in this video is something that I seriously struggle with and you have helped me come back to life

[@dabuffydoug4520]

Honestly thank you so much for talking about the pmdd especially the self sabotaging, the anxiety, the depression and just this video in general. I relate so much to everything you're saying, and its so nice to hear someone talking about it because its something i almost never or cant really tell anyone about, and its comforting to know its not just me being crazy or silly like ive been made to believe, but its something that other ppl go through as well

[@libbyloosy9776]

SHES BACK YAY!!! I love you kayli I’ve been hoping you’d post again and praying that you where ok.. I ended up going back and rewatching all of your older videos bc I missed you 😭 thank you for the amazing content always and being real sending love and prayers your way ♥️♥️

[@jennb1587]

Thank you for sharing. I’ve also been struggling and feeling like I’m wasting my life and getting stuck in the trap of comparison. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one going through it.

[@PROTOKRAWL]

i deal with realization constantly (as does my sister); im sorry you experience it, but it really is so validating to hear other people talking about that "nothing feels real/your vision suddenly gets clear/feeling like youre in a dream state" thing. thanks for the honesty, it's heard!!

[@m.w.254]

Thank you so much for sharing. Struggling with the same stuff. I understand everything you say! Thank you for making us all so seen!!!

[@dreyysie]

everything you said genuinely connected with me, to the point where I knew what you were gonna say next because I relate. i have depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and recently derealization. this video really gave me relief cuz i know someone else is going through this too. i’m not crazy, i’m not the only one, so thank you ❤

[@alysontolle6471]

Kayli, thank you so much for speaking about your mental health. I’m also currently going through it and it’s so easy to just assume that other people are happy, compare myself to them, and then end up feeling worse. Especially when it comes to social media!! This video made me feel so much more normal and like I will be okay.

[@avabobava21]

You are not alone in the derealization feeling because omg I have been feeling like that so much recently and then I get panicky myself and its all a cycle. You are not alone girly and I appreciate you being bold and talking about these topics because I struggle with so many of the same things you struggle with too!!

[@eylulsahin5822]

I have been through some of my worst times by just staying in my room all day watching your videos, I love your energy and your honesty, I think we can all agree that there are times when we hate ourselves but there are also times when we love ourselves, I missed you!!! You are my favorite content creator🥺 Take all the time you need to get back on your game girrrl! We are all supporting you! Love you 😻🩷

[@juliettemesterom]

I feel ya. With introducing these habits of gym, healthy eating etc. you are literally also kicking the addiction to escape. It helps to start with super small changes and not go 0-100 immediately. I wish you good luck! Love your videos 🩷🩷🩷

[@denisedeharenne1270]

YES FEMALE RAGE!!!!!! I hope you feel better and better these days!! I'm also kind of in a rut and I'll do my best to get out... I love your videos, you inspire me and a lot of girlies even if you're not feeling your best just because you ARE trying your best. All the love from Argentina 🙌🏼

[@shikha-v3r]

there's nothin to be embarrassed about and thank you for your honesty and courage in sharing your mental health update......i've been getting really worried.Keep being awesome! 🌟🙌

[@rubywillow2794]

Replacing worries with prayers as an alternative has literally changed everything for me. I relate to you so much it’s actually crazy. I know you probably know this but when you take a worry about past/present/future or about others or yourself and you replace it with an inverse as a prayer it shifts things fr! That’s the only way I’ve been able to cope w my anxiety as it comes up mentally

[@natalie11h]

thank you for being so real with your subscribers, we love u!

[@OliviaDavis-qr8vp]

Hey Kayli, I’m sorry you’re going through a rough patch. I just hope you know how many people you have rooting for you and how many people love you. You’ve created a comforting channel that draws people in. I absolutely love watching your videos and have for years, especially after covid when I was going through a super rough patch. You gave me a lot of hope and somehow I felt more normal watching your videos even though my home life was a war-zone. I’m the oldest of eight and my moms a tom-boy so I never had someone there to teach me all the girly things… but I’ve learned a lot from you which helped me a lot in high school. 😂 thank you for being my older sister, god bless

[@emilybarrett1608]

Thank you for being to real and vulnerable with us. We love you girl and want you to be in the best health. Physically and mentally. Praying God gives you strength every day. ❤

[@daliyaholender9810]

Kayli, what you just said about being mean to close people to try and get them out of my life, and not wanting to get better. This is EXACTLY what I am going through and I am very greatful to have seen this video of yours. It always gets better!!! I'll pray for you.

[@umaymasdiary]

Your videos gives me sm comfort 🫶🏻

[@karen_.r._]

Sending prayers to you for your mental health healing and breakthrough. I love you and God loves you so so much, even with all you are going through. He wants you to seek him and all he really wants is for you to feel better and to be the best you've ever been!

[@avonleadacayanan1366]

This is the realest video I’ve ever seen 🥺 I feel seen and heard and this is the most relatable video I’ve ever watched. Thank you for posting this. ❤️

[@chelseateoni2242]

Thank you so much for sharing. I watch you because you’re real. I’ve struggled with mental health all my life and I beat myself up over it all the time. I was so happy for you the last few months as you seemed good on the outside but it also made me think why can you overcome it but I can’t. Not that I want you to struggle but it makes me feel better knowing I’m not alone. So thank you so much for that, for being real and not pretending. It’s hard to admit that I don’t think we can fully recover from this, we will always go through ups and downs but I hope we can all continue to get through it ❤

[@Hanbunbun]

From panic attacks to driving anxiety to derealization, I've been through it pretty recently too. I'm still working through it as I speak. Hearing your words on derealization almost made me tear up. There was a specific time I felt like I was watching my life through my eyes like a TV screen and it freaked me out so hard. I'm so sorry you're going through it. I wouldn't wish any of these mental hardships on anyone. Stay strong like you have been and you'll push through. You always will

[@skelellele4256]

This speaks so much to my endometriosis!! It has truly dismantled my life on a monthly cycle. So glad we are all here for each other.

[@Littlesuzze]

Missed you girlieee! Wishing nothing but the best for you🫶🏻♥️

[@leahm1275]

I’m so glad you made this video because I’ve had a lot of shame around my mental health struggles. Hearing someone who is able to articulate what is happening helps me understand myself better

[@noorakhan620]

The self sabotaging, executive dysfunction and unbearable periods and anxiety everything you’re saying is resonating with me so much and you WILL get through this, I got teary bc girl I wish I could just hug you but I can only tell you feeling someway and knowing how people feel about you is different. And I think everyone here cares and loves hearing from you! Loveee you kayli 💗🧸

[@meridianehrlich3317]

When you talked about dissociation and all the “embarrassing” part of mental illness I felt seen. I can’t thank you enough for how you show us what it’s like and don’t sugar coat it, I feel less alone ❤

[@floralfaun]

Thank you for being so real 💗

[@jazal69]

holy heck thank you so much for sharing all of this. I struggle with so many similar things and oh my goodness, THANK YOU for putting words to it. It's literally helped me feel like I'm not the only person who deals with this

[@emmagrace_82]

This is one of the most real and relatable videos discussing mental health that I’ve seen. I just wanted to say thank you for being brave enough to share it. It definitely makes me feel less alone❤

[@LizzyHellcat]

I'm struggling really hard at the moment mentally and phisically beaceuse of a chronic illness. I'm not happy that you are struggling too but it makes me feel like I'm not alone. Thanks for sharing the reality of it.

[@my.brownlens]

Thank you for sharing all the crazy thoughts and feelings others may not understand ❤

[@juliarenner7701]

Thank you for being so open and vulnerable

[@MelissaSerraty-j2e]

Thanks for sharing! I’ve also had derealization and hyperawarness of my thoughts and existence . It led me to panic attacks and I thought I was actually crazy! I’ve gotten better - but i can say coming to God and having moments with him was what got me through. I pray for you and encourage you to come to God, he is going to help you. I promise.

[@softie.girlie]

I've been dealing with the aftermath of a really traumatic pet death the past couple of days and your talk about derealization was really relatable

[@user-rz5nu9mg7c]

I have the same mental health issues, and when the derealization and panic attacks start, I feel such impending doom and like things will never get better. It feels like mental torture. Thank you for sharing.

[@mouettee]

the executive dysfunction and derealization hit hard!! thanks for talking about it i could relate so much

[@airconditioner13]

I literally feel you so much on the derealization. I have it as well and its so difficult to explain to people who don't have it.

[@mkrame]

i also have PMDD and was under assessment for bipolar disorder fora LONGGG time. going to the gym/balancing my diet really helped me but i still have really hard months with derealisation/executive dysfunction. you’re not alone gf thank you so much for talking about it

[@moniquebam1881]

I agree wholeheartedly with what you said about spending more time in the Word and praying... I've noticed that I'm worse in every way possible when I don't prioritise God. There's a reason the Bible calls Jesus the Prince of Peace, because that's exactly what He gives us when we seek Him: True peace 💜

[@sarahvercetti777]

I pray she sees this. Jesus is the only one who could’ve saved me from myself.

[@kateridgway9919]

Love your videos so much!! You are absolutely going to get through this - mental health in your early 20s is an absolute roller coaster - I promise it gets better ❤️

[@madalenafonseca255]

istg thank god for putting you in the world, i’ve been dealing with mental health issues for my whole life and i have a huge difficulty trying to find words to describe what i feel…so it feels like you went through my brain and wrote everything that i’ve been dealing with i have my psychiatrist appointment tomorrow and maybe ill be able to have a right diagnosis for the first time in 25 years lmao thank you i love you, you’re amazing

[@daniela-9303]

Omggg i missed u girl 😭😭😭❤️

[@maismith3520]

this is so surreal for me. you’ve given me the biggest paradigm shift - my husband is also diagnosed with OCD, ADHD, anxiety, depression, panic disorder and TERRIFIED of throw up - would rather cut off his pinky than throw up. One thing he has on you is PTSD :) It’s just been really really nice to have another perspective that you’re sharing. It means a lot to me and he’s consistently said “wow, what have you been doing recently?? because you’re way more patient with me” 🥲 anyways, ily 🫶🏽 byeeeeeee

[@jenwalsh5550]

Girl I relate to EVERYTHING u said! Thank u for this open/honest video

[@sims4life-d4e]

I hope you feel better soon 😊

[@sims4life-d4e]

And I really hope that you enjoy the rage rooms with the thrifted furniture 😂

[@sylviehudson]

Thank you so much for this Kayli and thanks for talking about God too!!

[@bayanbishara6666]

"It's like I do, but I also don't" That one hit so deep...

[@cindylou2102]

Derealization/Depersonalization is so wild. I always feel like I’m in one of those old Claritin commercials where everything is fuzzy and then all of a sudden things are clear. Sending love. ❤️

[@HereniaSantos-nq6sx]

Oh I’m sorry that you’re going through that. Mental health issues don’t discriminate, it happens to the best of us. You’re amazing by sharing your experience. Please take care of yourself and stay true to yourself, no matter the criticism that’s out there in the internet.

[@Marie-m5y]

Your one of those friends that helps me heal ❤

[@observableuniverse1]

I know this video was posted 3 months ago but thank you so much for trusting all of us enough to post about your experiences!! We’ll always be here for you 🤍

[@sammyrodriguez2699]

Thank you so, so very much for this Kayli. Don't ever stop. You're making a difference girl. I can relate to almost everything you described. Late at night when my panic strikes, i try to remember i am not alone. I read somewhere that the thought of a baker working at 3a to get all the donuts, cakes, etc ready for the day brings them comfort. Someone is up and theyre not alone❤ Much love Kayli, thanks again:)

[@ilovepink02xo]

As someone with anxiety and adhd: this is so REAL. It's so hard for people that haven't experienced these feelings to truly understand the extent of how it affects your life. ESPECIALLY executive disfunction! Thank you for being so open. You are such a light🤍

[@giannapalumbo9936]

we love you!!!!! you have given me so much comfort in my panic disorder, knowing that someone else out there is dealing with the same thing

[@marina_m98]

thank you for being so open about your mental health Kayli!! oh i feel you!! i also struggle with depressive episodes and i know exactly what to do to get better but i never do…it always feels like there’s no point to change anything since i will get depressed again. it’s like a vicious cycle, so i am trying to find a goal or a dream that i will actually want to get better for.

[@allison_hope]

breathtakingly beautiful, truly perfection as a person

[@Elle-eq4hy]

VERY proud of you for prioritizing real life!!!

[@lovetoseeitklaw]

The way i just started bawling bc this really made me realize i am seriously not alone 🩷

[@rritikorritiko3077]

Thank you for this video so much. Last June my mental health became worse than ever. I decided to give a chance to a medication. I'm on the forth week right now and the side effects are the worst. Literally now it's 1:30am and I woke up with anxiety, so I opend my laptop and saw your video. I just wish us to get better and to be the same happy people we are with our masks on but without them. With the medication I had a couple of moments when I felt absolutely happy... and I don't remember when I felt it for the last time before, but it reminds me how it can be. I just wish us to be happy. Get well, dear Kayli. Lots of love ❤

[@raptor7495]

i was there. I ended up in psychiatrist and went on 2 medications for a year. During this time +1 year longer i was in therapy. I am cured now and my life is a 1000% better. You can get out of this Kylie 🎉

[@user-dn9gz5lu4y]

Oh my goodness, I am there right now. Couldn’t put it into words, but I really escape like that. I feel you so hard. Big hugs and prayers.

[@Lilikate7]

it's great that you share it, we all deal with mental health at certain point

[@emmaenchanted18]

kayli, you are quite truthfully my favorite creator & have been for quite some time. i do not comment often on social media, but felt called to today after all that you shared in this post. i know i don't know you personally, but i am so proud of you for stepping back and taking time to take care of yourself mentally. your videos have helped me & so many others through some really hard times; i cannot wait to see what you continue to create in your own time. thank you for your authenticity, truthfulness, & joy! joining your youtube family two years ago was really one of the best decisions i could have made for myself at the time, it almost feels like having a virtual sister (which is about the highest compliment i can give as one of five girls!) wishing you the best now and always; may the changing of the seasons bring more good energy your way!! bisous!

[@faithh6647]

I’M SO PROUD OF YOU FOR MAKING THIS 🫶🏼 I know everything is easier said than done and I hope you know that we will continue to watch you because we enjoy who YOU are As long you stay true to yourself, people will see that. The haters will always hate 🙃 Thank you for sharing more about you and the mental health you’re dealing with. We are here for you!

[@Princess-Giordano]

I love you Kayli dealing with pmdd pure-ocd is so hard and a list of anxiety disorders there’s light at the end of the tunnel

[@tillyrae09]

i feel like you’ve just put how i feel into words. i can’t explain it. you have honestly helped me so much with your videos. i have watched every video of yours since nearly 2 years ago and i honestly look forward to them so so much. please know how loved and appreciated you are 🤍🤍

[@lins8753]

I'm convinced a looot of young women go through anxiety and depression from 22-25. I did and I know SO many other women who have gone through it as well. It gets better. I'm 27 now and I've learned how to manage it.

[@thanyawells8141]

Hii Kayli! I literally love love your videos! I watch it for hours, you have taught me hair care and skin care and NAILS! Thank you for sharing your story today, I literally related to everything you said and how you feel. Thank you for being so open and transparent.

[@piperjoy6434]

hey girly, your vids are so inspirational you are the reason I started doing gel, I have been doing my own nails since I was 5 I'm 14 now. My mom got me my first nail polish kit for my fifth birthday and been doing my nails ever since, but when I saw your nail videos I started doing gel and I grew my nail and now I have really long natural nails, I've been doing gel for a year now. just wanted to let you know we love the nail video and we miss them. love you and God bless

[@miranda9472]

Girl. I love you. Thank you for being so real.

[@meganlucas935]

I’m so glad you shared this, I know it’s not easy with the haters. I relate to so much that you said in this video and it’s somehow comforting to know I’m not the only one feeling this way. I hope you feel better, girl. ❤

[@emmanuellesilveira3583]

Girl this video is so necessary!!! literally i feel the same, because when im depressed or anxious i just dont want to face my problems, and its good hearing that you feel the same!! Kayli you are light in this world keep going , you got this girl i love you soooo much❤

[@patti9946]

I hope you feel better soon xx thank you so much for speaking about this stuff, i really relate to what you said how days and days go by feeling like you're in a dream and its not all real. Also feeling like you don't even want to get better because its just too much effort and you don't deserve to get better anyways.... It makes me feel so much less alone when i know that its not jsut me who feels this way. I really appreciate your honesty

[@justinfelt748]

Hi, Kayli! I saw the notification and clicked it right on time. YES!!😀💙💙💙💙💙💙💙👍. Also, the rage room 20:34 is so...hard to break any item inside. WHOA!!😮😮😮😮😮

[@ET-ed1oo]

I’m sorry you’re dealing with all this Kayli, it sounds so tough! Thanks for sharing and hope you feel better soon. Just post whenever you’re up for it :) ❤

[@allison_hope]

you are my comfort youtuber and I love your videos and personality so much