Decoding Dominance: Toxic Family Dynamics & The Ultimate Power Play

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

KZbin will make the LIVE CHAT BOX (the best part!) available soon! Stay tuned. In this meantime, here is my video on the psychology of cult-like mindsets and family: kzbin.info/www/bejne/rqGUhoBji9Boa5I.

[@YoutubesFromWayback]

It's NOT the size or strength of the Pack that makes the Pack ultimately strong; rather it IS the individual strength and intelligence of each of the members that makes the PACK truly strong. ~🐺

[@truth4utoda]

​@@KZbinsFromWayback💯💯

[@fifilafleur5555]

Everything you talked about tonight, Dr Tamara, sounds like my crazy family “cult.” This sounds like how my dad & his wife treated my stepbrother & I. She is only 10 years older than my stepbrother & I… and a mean bully. My dad is a mean bully too. He tore us down emotionally and ruled with an iron fist. My brother ran off and joined the Marine Corp and I married a boy they hated. We had to escape or never have a life of our own. They are both tyrants and I suspect were jealous of our youth at the time. We were clean slates with our whole lives ahead of us. They had already both been married multiple times with kids. They were so ugly to us. To this day, my dad & his wife are still ugly to me if they are having a bad day. Their daughter together, my youngest half sister, can be vicious to me too. They have raised her to treat me very poorly. I set a boundary a few years ago with her & her mother and went “no contact.” I am very low to “no contact” with my dad. He is still as toxic and hateful as ever. Enough is enough.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

I'm sorry😫😔This is such a tiring dynamic. Sometimes you do have to escape, even if that escape isn't ideal. For some people, that's the only thing they have.

[@dennisrobinson8008]

The escape like the movie Shawshsnk Redemption ​@@TherapistTamaraHill

[@wirelessunday9897]

I can see my family dynamic already...#exhausting 😮

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Yes, it is very exhausting. Many of my clients are suffering from the traumatic impact of this kind of dynamic.

[@wirelessunday9897]

@TherapistTamaraHill Thx4sharing ur reply‼️

[@Missmay777]

Thank you so much for your videos! I just recently started watching them and they have been one of the answers to my prayers for recovery from childhood (and adult) trauma! ❤ I’ve put in a lot of self work, and taking ownership of my own faults, yet, not met halfway with my dad (no mom in the picture she passed away before I turned 2 (I’m now 37) and I have only 1 sibling, my older sister, who has passive aggressively hated me since I was born. So I’m dealing with a lot and been praying for guidance. And these videos have truly helped me. Unfortunately I don’t currently have insurance so I can’t afford a therapist.. I also have some issues with trusting just anyone.. so.. 😞ugh. Anyways. Thank you! And God bless! ❤

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You're welcome!! That's wonderful. And that's an answered prayer of mine to see this information transform mindsets, offer reprieve, etc. So thank you! And I'm sorry you have had to deal with this dynamic. I truly believe that if/when God sees fit for you, you will receive all of what you need to help you unlock truth.

[@Ljtheog12]

Great info! Thank you, Tamara!

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You're welcome!! And thank you.

[@truth4utoda]

💯💯💯💣

[@justinkevish]

I wasn't able to watch last night, but this topic hits me hard...

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Yes. I noticed that after scrolling the chat box. Hopefully this was helpful. It's tough topic indeed.

[@justinkevish]

@TherapistTamaraHill You know i hate to miss a live chat. Haha

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

🤭

[@sioxz8435]

tam tam you have any experince with schizoid PD and if so can you do a live on it. i would love your thoughts on all cluster A personality disorders

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Hi Samme, yes, absolutely!! I will add it to the list.

[@deborahpena7765]

Mommy Dearest

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Very good point! Yes.

[@annastone5624]

There's another side to this.. those of us who refuse to comply - but don't count the cost of that! Because there is a cost. Sometimes a price that's so high, we ruin our own lives and future. It's a naivety.. a childlike belief and hope.

[@wirelessunday9897]

Hello 👋 guys😅...Hope all is well 😀

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Welcome! 😀 Hope you are well too!

[@truth4utoda]

😊

[@YoutubesFromWayback]

Stanley Milgram Experiment. Surprising, yup. Dehumanization roadmap a bit.

[@YoutubesFromWayback]

Zimbardo "Stanford Prison" experiment, good look too.

[@YoutubesFromWayback]

I like all the research drops, well done! 😃

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

I APPRECIATE you for doing this for others! I truly hope you are doing well.

[@YoutubesFromWayback]

​@@TherapistTamaraHill I'am doing good. Trauma bonds, double binds, emotional intelligence, Emotional incest, For the survivor it's what I call being between Scylla and Charybdis. A compendium of knowledge you are, I was talking about "generational curses" with a friend yesterday..watched netflix series on Rome "Caligula" tonight...excellent stuff. Rome was a crazy time and place.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

That's good to hear! Glad you are doing well. And thank you "compendium of knowledge you are," for saying that! I had to look it up in the dictionary! 😂🤗

[@fairygurl9269]

🤗

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

🤗Thank you!

[@sipcologiaaldia-vt6qw]

📗🖊️

[@annastone5624]

I totally disagree with the assumption that Ty E. McCullough Wise (commenter) needs to change his thoughts. What if he's simply describing exactly what is happening to him? He means the world he's living in. It's hardly an unlikely scenario, given the toxic dynamics described earlier in the video.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

I'm glad you brought this up because then we can dissect this. I don't hear an assumption on my part, I could be wrong, but I don't hear that. Rather than saying "change your thoughts" we can work to balance them is what I hear I'm saying. The word choice of "the world" is a generalization and an exaggerated expression that can skew their perspective a bit and lead to worsening feelings. There was no mention of "their world" but rather the world itself. Sometimes we can benefit from changing the way we speak and think about situations impacting us. If I say "everyone hates me" because I keep encountering opposition that isn't necessarily true because I haven't met everyone. I should probably say "I have some people I've come across (or in my world) who are strictly evil." Or "sometimes I feel like everyone hates me." That small shift can make a world of difference for us. Hope this makes sense.

[@annastone5624]

@@TherapistTamaraHill thanks for your reply. I do get what you are saying. Yes wording matters and can help at a stage the process, However that wouldn't be the first thing I would tackle. The assumption was in the omission. The first thing I believe should always be - could this person know exactly what they are talking about? Could they be assessing their surroundings accurately? When I say everyone, I never mean 'everyone in the world' . I think 'everyone in my life' can be assumed and for many people that is what they are living. They live in highly antagonistic toxic environments. I believe there is a huge problem across the board in the health and healing worlds, in assuming people are 'triggered' when they are actually in very dangerous situations. I personally have had to deal with it relentlessly, as people assume I'm emotional just because they have never experienced the same levels of danger and threat. Or because it has just become the easy go-to.. I find that current time threat and danger, almost doesn't exist as a factor for consideration. It's all about healing. Healing is good and so necessary, and changing black and white statements IS very important. But in my experience very fundamental steps are often missed and victims end up gaslit and invalidated in a way that can be devastating, by people with very good intentions!

[@annastone5624]

@TherapistTamaraHill thanks for your reply : ) I do get what you are saying. Yes wording matters and can help at a stage in the healing process, However that wouldn't be the first thing I would tackle. The assumption I felt was in the omission. The first thing I believe should always be - could this person know exactly what they are talking about? Could they be assessing their surroundings accurately? When I say everyone, I never mean 'everyone in the world' . I think 'everyone in my life' can be assumed and for many people - that is what they are living. They live in highly antagonistic toxic environments. I believe there is a huge problem across the board in the health and healing worlds, in assuming people are 'triggered' when they are actually in very dangerous situations. I personally have had to deal with it relentlessly, as people assume I'm emotional or extreme - just because they have never experienced the same levels of danger and threat. Or because it has just become the most common go-to.. I find that current time threat and danger, almost doesn't exist as a factor for consideration. Generally it's all about healing. Healing is good and so necessary, and changing black and white statements IS very important. But in my experience very fundamental steps are often missed and victims end up gaslit and invalidated in a way that can be devastating, by people with very good intentions! Hope this is useful.