Your Relationship Expectations Could Be Holding You Back | Stephanie R. Yates-Anyabwile | TED

[@StephAnya]

It was an absolute honor to be on this stage! Thank you @@TED for having me.

[@carlylind13]

So cool to see this pop up in my feed! Nice job on this talk. 🎶 whaaaaats annnya mindddd 🎶

[@TruthorOrder]

Here from your youtube channel. Congrats Steph Anya

[@ynazzra]

Look at these milestones you’re just conquering! Incredible

[@qrious5107]

Powerful video!

[@Swolfoo7]

Excellent speech StephAnya!

[@NDOvert]

I found this talk very relatable and a good reminder that we shouldn’t be quick to compare ourselves to other couples. Loved the message!

[@blesskeekee-fy1om]

Yes ur right we shouldn't compare ourselves to no one but what she preaching about living alone from ur husband or wife is wrong❤but that's her opinion, so I guess ur right. Stay blessed, my Heavenly sister

[@hasancan3993]

I am waiting for my parent child training which I think you will like very much. Course on Natural Approaches to Child Rearing/Udemy❤️

[@ashaanyabwile7337]

Stephanie’s TED Talk is a bold and refreshing take on relationships. She challenges the outdated belief that love requires losing individuality or conforming to societal norms. Instead, she empowers couples to confront challenges-including the weight of past traumas and external pressures-by embracing their peculiarities and creating solutions that work for them, free from judgment. Her examples, like the couple thriving apart or her parents commuting separately, highlight a simple truth: relationships don’t have to be hard. Love flourishes when partners embrace who they are, honor their differences, and approach challenges with understanding, intention, and grace. Stephanie’s insights are transformative. She’s redefining what it means to build fulfilling, sustainable connections-on your own terms, with authenticity and courage. Bravo!

[@thandokhumalo1726]

No offense but this sounds like a chatgpt response idk why 😂

[@SharonVillareal-t8j]

It's common for relationships to encounter obstacles, but there is always a solution. My own marriage faced considerable issues, but with appropriate guidance, my husband and I worked through them and deepened our connection. Solutions are achievable if you're ready to work together. Stay hopeful-there's always a way forward.

[@SharonVillareal-t8j]

Parting with someone you love is always a challenging process, but in my experience, I had the guidance of a spiritual guide who prevented my marriage from collapsing. His name is Father Akunna.

[@SharonVillareal-t8j]

I promise you will not regret it.

[@seaklove42]

Thank you for this!!!

[@drnn1076]

That's the best advice for relationships that I ever heard. Social expectations and external pressures are damaging so many otherwise good relationships.

[@maloneaqua]

I'll go further and say relationship expectations are ABSOLUTELY holding people back. Life is hard and people think love is supposed to be an exception to that.

[@naut_nigel]

I love Steph Anya!! Her channel is great

[@teancoffee208]

Me too! She's so insightful!

[@t.aquila]

Amazing! Brings a whole new perspective to how you should view your partner and your relationships.

[@xLiLlyx98]

You know what, this came at a very perfect time. As someone who doesn't sleep in the same bed because of health issues and differing sleeping cycles, and who doesnt get to spend as much time with their partner as i might like, am struggling a little right now... I really kind of want things to be the way they were. I just might have to stop thinking how it "should" be... Thank you!

[@bwines16]

I honestly love how serendipitous things can be! I’m totally single, but I’m definitely not opposed to the idea of sleeping separately. Sleep is so crucial to one’s health, attitude, and overall wellbeing that it needs to be good every night. If you can’t get that sleeping next to your partner, sleep somewhere else! It’s just sleep. And the winding down solo can be good for you too. Hope things get better for you ❤

[@xLiLlyx98]

@bwines16 thank you! Yeah, I think part of why it is bothering me is because my parents have been sleeping separately for years, also partially to preserve nerves of all parties (due to snoring) but also their dynamic is very strained and doesn't appear very loving to the outside. So maybe that's where the strange feeling about it comes from. On the other hand, I know how cranky I get without optimal sleeping conditions so... There's a lot to unpack and unlearn here 😄 wishing you well too!

[@LafemmebearMusic]

⁠@@bwines16do you think maybe eventually finding a way to sleep with your partner some nights atleast would be good for the relationship. I think the bonding time gets understated , I just want to speak power to what the person is saying. Yes what you’re saying is a valid point certainly, AND I hear the poster saying they miss being that close to their partner. This isn’t me saying your are incorrect this is me saying YES AND ❤🙏🏾

[@rmy_Youtube]

OMG I love StephAnya!!! This was a great and eye-opening topic! It needs to be talked about more.

[@skidogleb]

This feels applicable to all my family and friend relationships too; establishing boundaries and expectations can be really helpful.

[@sonimoons]

Congrats on giving the Ted talk! I watch your content all the time so that’s exciting! Looking forward to watching this! 🎉😊

[@Hawk259]

Brilliant!! More from her, please!!!

[@oletramekaf5603]

I second this!

[@romadabos4534]

This is the most important topic when it comes to relationships and is soooo UNDERRATED

[@zendakhambule2924]

This was the best 8 minutes 27 seconds of my life.... So frank and to the point. May your message reach and impact millions of couples.... ❤❤❤

[@whatisahandle221]

Spot on: what works for you & your spouse and your family may not work for be and my spouse and our family. And, don’t try to “fix” your spouse! Either work at fixing your relationship together-or get a different partner.

[@Gugx]

Great talk 👏🏽 Concise & relatable 👌🏽

[@spokenwordpoetries]

This is such great information. Thank you for platforming a valid professional.

[@esrob7062]

I WISH I would have heard this when I first got married almost eight years ago. My spouse and I had to learn your key points the hard way. We definitely had a lot of hills and valleys but thankfully we are on the other side. We both had to lower our expectations and learn how to work, play, live together, and raise kids in a way that works best for us.

[@JermaineC84]

There was a couple that were regulars at a restaurant I worked at many years ago. I think they'd been together for maybe 15 years or something. One half of them came in alone one day, and she told me how they had lived together once, hated it, then moved out but stayed together. They couldn't stand living with one another, but still wanted to be with each other, and they had been ever since. It might be time to rethink our idea of the storybook romance...a lot of movies and stories are full of conflict and crossroads, anyways. The Notebook is Exhibit A with that 🤷🏾‍♂️

[@DianaCoffman-ln5qk]

AMAZING!!!!! Happy to watch it

[@bachopinbee5991]

Goddamn it! Very enlightening TeDX Talk! Thank you StephAnya...it's all about adapting and acceptance.

[@darinherrick9224]

I don't believe relationships are hard. I believe being alone is hard.

[@yasmine181]

I enjoyed this and took some key points with me. Thank you!

[@mzbxbabii]

This was so good, just what I needed.

[@OhGodGirl]

The courage to do it your own way. Love it.

[@CPHYSO]

I enjoyed this, thank you!

[@思敬沈]

good relationship is with understanding each other thinking for other people

[@tidus37]

Thank you so much for this!

[@k_rimi3.455]

Nowadays relationships have become a product to consume

[@oletramekaf5603]

How come?

[@blesskeekee-fy1om]

People don't value relationships anymore, and it's SAD❤

[@oletramekaf5603]

​@@blesskeekee-fy1om That's not my experience. I think we all agree that relationships' dynamics changed drastically since the last couple of generations, but in many senses they changed for the better. Women have more rights and more freedom than ever, for example. More types of relationships are being explored, which allow a massive range of people to find happiness, whilst in the past they would need to settle for what 'society approved'. I am surrounded by people who value relationships as either the first or the second most important thing in their lives.

[@hasancan3993]

I am waiting for my parent child training which I think you will like very much. Course on Natural Approaches to Child Rearing/Udemy❤️

[@merasia1726]

Excellent lessons! Thank you @StephAnya

[@MindReeda]

Nice presentation!🙂

[@BlackQueenA1825]

I've always loved her videos and I was so excited to see that she had a Ted Talk. Great job, as always.

[@Nuffsaid22]

Amazing talk

[@rhavensworld]

This was so good & insightful!

[@Gold4DaHoneyz]

This was great! ❤

[@ifeesam]

Go Stephanie!

[@donnabray7486]

That was amazing!!!

[@jeckellstallworth]

This Ted Talk was excellent 👏🏽 She is a very engaging and captivating speaker 😊

[@Purple_waves]

This is such a good talk. Love it. 💖

[@catherine432]

Well done Steph Anya!

[@pharmclare]

Thank you for sharing this valuable content. well done

[@margaretfk]

Now everyone go give her a follow!!

[@Overboard-uh2no]

She killed it 🙌

[@anushkareddy6225]

As much as logically I want to agree with everything you mentioned, Stephanier, I believe what really stops us from going against the norms, for most couples, is the fear of what could happen. Yes, me and my boyfriend faced huge amount of struggles when we moved in together, even though both of us had no kids. Separating looked like the best option. We even thought of living separately and very sincerely considered it, as that worked for us. But what stopped us from taking that call, for us was, what about our kids? would they grow up with me or him? Would they be questioned? How about our in-laws in the future? Etc. Etc. And that helped us to shape ourselves into creatures who can live together. No doubt, this required significant amount of work, where we also lost things of utmost importance to ourselves unintentionally and also a lot many years. And still, continuing. I watch this video, with the same question in my head, should we stay separately?!

[@lovemuffinboo]

wow this was great!! simply explained

[@no_one514]

This is GREAT! 3:36pm 12-3-4 TUE

[@omarianyabwile7302]

Love it!

[@DoNuTsIeAt]

Aww I kinda loved this!

[@martinking27]

Steph Anya! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@rjc242]

I. Love. Stephanie!

[@folumb]

It’s frustrating because I don’t know any women who aren’t obsessed with the appearance of the relationship more than the relationship itself. They have to compare the meet cute and make sure the story is as good as other girls. They have to have as many or more pictures of themselves having fun or smiling because other girls have theirs on instagram and look cute. They have to be going on trips because that’s what they see other girls doing. Forget about being happy day to day. It’s all about appearance

[@CosterMugwagwa]

Love this man❤

[@oletramekaf5603]

You forgot a comma after "this".

[@ayodelemartinsabiwo9963]

​@@oletramekaf5603😂😂😂 actually

[@SnowFoxParty]

I feel like I'm one of those people in relationship that does better if we do not live under the same roof 😂

[@G.likeGinger]

What's Anya mind?

[@MSHEnglishAcademy]

I wanna watch a minimum of one video a week in the last couple of years i follow the rules

[@_---__]

I like her topic, but her example of a couple living together after three months is obvious. I would recommend a topic of adjusting expectations for marriage.

[@eleonor20]

Nice....

[@aondorplonts]

Interesting.

[@maniko_02]

Should I send this to my girlfriend lol 🙏🏽 asking for a friend

[@SmokedBisque]

If an affordable home and child care costs are considered high expectations for a relationship then darn guess Ill just accept the reduction in standards. My fault.

[@josephbangali430]

Relationships are a fingerprint.

[@sooma-ai]

Couples therapist Stephanie R. Yates-Anyabwile challenges traditional relationship expectations, encouraging couples to embrace individuality and create unique dynamics that work for them, rather than adhering to societal norms. She emphasizes that deviating from conventional practices can lead to stronger, more fulfilling connections.

[@blesskeekee-fy1om]

Yes, it could also lead ur partner to move on quicker than lightening too❤think about it. If u guys think traditional styles are played out

[@rickbeastrandolph]

🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@NehaJoyfulJourney]

❤

[@tiffanykemp8926]

I think this is good video but not living together while married is werid

[@YaoAnne-j7g]

!!I am at the beginning of my "investment journey", planning to put 185K into dividend stocks so that I will be making up to 30% per year in dividend returns. any good stock recommendation on great performing stocks or Crypto will be appreciated..

[@ElizabethHansick]

As a newbie investor, it’s essential for you to have a mentor to keep you accountable. Ruth Ann Tsakonas is my trade analyst, she has guided me to identify key market trends, pinpointed strategic entry points, and provided risk assessments, ensuring my trades decisions align with market dynamics for optimal returns.

[@DivaHarrison]

I managed to grow a nest egg of around 120k to over a Million. I'm especially grateful to Adviser Ruth Ann Tsakonas, for her expertise and exposure to different areas of the market..

[@ElizabethHansick]

I don't really blame people who panic. Lack of information can be a big hurdle. I've been making more than $200k passively by just investing through an advisor, and I don't have to do much work. Inflation or no inflation, my finances remain secure. So I really don't blame people who panic.

[@DivaHarrison]

Without a doubt! Ruth Ann Tsakonas is a trader who goes above and beyond. she has an exceptional skill for analysing market movements and spotting profitable opportunities. Her strategies are meticulously crafted on thorough research and years of practical experience.

[@YaoAnne-j7g]

how would you recommend i enter the crypto market? I am also looking at studying some traders and copying their strategy rather than investing myself and losing money emotionally.. What's your take on this approach? and How can i reach her, if you don't mind me asking?

[@Kat4days]

Oh so you are trying to make me settle. Nope. It’s incompatibility. We are have ways to feel loved. That’s why rich people fall in love with the poor

[@KnowledgeSimmons]

I believe that common goals keep the relationship worth wild. By me being Muslim and we marry for the worship of our Lord First, Love second,Money/Responsibility third and Family Linage fourth we can get over anything being that we wake up to fulfill the same common goal.

[@rridafitness2340]

🔥🌿✋🏽✋

[@LăngKínhĐộngVật-vietnamese]

Và Đó là lý do tại sao Trump làm tổng thống

[@seeing-real]

Let’s go further and question why we are groomed to value Romaric relationship over other kinds of relationships. Families, friends, community relationships are often more vital and longer lasting…many of them from childhood until the end of life. Rather than simply adjusting expectations so we can “make do” with what we have…women would be better served overall by having the conversation of: why do we even feel we need this? Good romantic relationships truly are the exception, not the rule. It should also be totally okay to be a single woman deeply in love with family, friends, community and purpose. I wish we didn’t care about this dumb stuff at all. If just becomes a place for vapid comparison in order to prove personal value. Divest from patriarchy ladies. I am partnered, I have high expectations that come from ME…not from society. And if those expectations stopped being met, I would leave. Romantic relationships aren’t a life source but an additional source. If they hurt…stop. They are not necessary.

[@abdallaashrif6589]

Bullsht talk

[@blesskeekee-fy1om]

Ur a million percent right my brother and these people are condoning this craziness. Y would people get married to live apart ridiculous. Because they want to live in SIN❤

[@TheGadecka]

the irony is the fact that she is a black woman

[@blesskeekee-fy1om]

DO U ALL HEAR WHAT THIS LADY IS TRYING TO INFLICTED IN COUPLES SO SAD. JUST BECAUSE UR PARENTS WERE FINE WITH DRIVING ALONE OR LIVING SEPARATE THAT WERE THEM. NOT EVERYONE BELIEVE IN THAT. THAT IS NOT APART OF EVERYONE CULTURE ❤. Y WOULD I GET MARRIED TO LIVE ALONE, PLEASE MAKE IT MAKE SENSE🤔 THIS IS WHAT SOCIETY IS PREACHING TO PEOPLE NOWADAYS SMH, PEOPLE ARE LOST TODAY AND JUST WANT TO DO WHAT THEY WANT TO DO BEHIND EACH OTHER BACK, EVERYONE WANTS TO LIVE IN SIN FOR THE REST OF THEIR NATURAL BORN LIFE😢HEAVENLY FATHER PLEASE GUIDE MY STEPS, THANK U💪🏽🙏🏽💯

[@timd2739]

I love ted bundy too i think everyone does thats why trump is president right becouse of our love for ted ted bundy

[@AlaahAkbr-q9c]

God loves you and cares for you so that this message reaches you. God is the one who created this large universe and controls it completely. The greatest loss a person loses in this life is that he lives without knowing God who created him and knowing the Messenger of Muhammad, the last of the messengers, and the Islamic religion, the last of the heavenly religions. Great intelligence, before you believe in something or not, is to read it, study it, and understand it well, and after that you have the choice to believe in it or not to believe in it. I advise you to do this now, before you no longer have time to do so. Life is very short. It is just a test, just a passage to eternal life. Great advice to those who... Understands

[@Mr-S.p.o.c.k]

Ah, spam in the guise of divine wisdom. How quaint. First, you're asserting that God loves me and wants this message to reach me. I have questions. If an omnipotent being wanted to communicate, wouldn't it bypass spam filters and come with less of a whiff of chain-mail energy? Also, if God "controls the universe completely," why not just deliver clarity directly instead of outsourcing it to someone with questionable grammar? Second, your claim about the "greatest loss" assumes a universal worldview where your specific belief system is the default truth. You skipped the logical step where you establish why your framework is uniquely valid among thousands of religions, philosophies, and scientific understandings. For someone touting the importance of study and understanding, you’re not exactly leading by example here. Third, about "great intelligence" requiring me to read, study, and understand before forming a belief-thank you for explaining basic critical thinking. I assume this means you have exhaustively studied every religion, philosophy, and atheist perspective before landing on your current belief? Or did you just skip to the end because someone told you it was the final chapter? Finally, the "life is short, test for eternity" angle. That’s rich, considering your message is long and feels like an eternity to read. If this life is a test, then spamming strangers with unsolicited sermons feels like failing the "basic respect for others' time" portion. In conclusion, I appreciate your concern for my eternal well-being, but if there’s an omnipotent being out there, I’m pretty sure it’s rolling its eyes at this message too. Cheers.

[@UncleBuZ]

Thanks for the unsolicited life advice, I'll be sure to file it right between my extended car warranty and a Nigerian prince's inheritance. 🤡

[@DeFu-dt4qt]

Cult 😂