How Self-Forgiveness Saved My Life | Josh Galarza | TEDxNewburgh

I was able to overcome my inner battle by finding self forgiveness, so I share my story in hopes that it will help others find it too. Josh Galarza is a Mental Health advocate, emphasizing the need for mental wellness in everyday life for everyday people. In a vulnerable talk that strikes emotion, he shares his story on how self-forgiveness saved his life. This is a talk for humanity. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

[@coachdawn]

I just sent this to my 22 year old son. He truly is so hard on himself for every failure or age appropriate bad decision. He needs to forgive himself and love himself. He’s a beautiful soul and I hope this ted talk gives him courage. Thank you for telling your story. I know it’s saving lives. Servant leadership is so important for our young people to witness. I pray that you are doing well. I’m grateful to have been lead to you today. God bless 🙏🏽

[@gyanmehrotra7778]

I'm 22 years old myself and I relate to him so much. I feel he feels the same way I do, always realizing in hindsight what I should have done, said and what could have been if I only did the right thing. Im really hard on myself and very lenient with others, you're doing amazing supporting him!

[@coachdawn]

gyan mehrotra I hope you can also find the support you need as well. You’re never alone. You’re a gentle soul and thank you for your kind words. Love and light ✨🙏🏽❤️

[@samuelscherban501]

I am feeling right now like everything you just described. This video helped, and best wishes to you and your son. 😄 The inability to forgive myself when everyone around me has forgotten about the situation is agonizing.

[@jlopez7967]

@@gyanmehrotra7778 yeah I was thinking the exact same thing, and much of my issues of course affect my mother, and so I too, like most of us, too feel sorry for my mom, and I wish her to forgive everything wrong that I do. So to see a mother understanding and forgiving, and also wanting her son to forgive himself too, really does help and relieve part of that guilt; because of the understanding. So thank you.

[@DariusKu]

I’m 19 and same as your son, hard on myself and my past and failures and others are hard on me too, finally I see a mom here that truly understands, I feel relieved. Thank you.

[@oma1899]

Forgive yourself for what you did and what you didn't... Accept & move on to be a better person in life. Forgive yourself cause you aren't perfect.

[@Realmomad]

This is helpful

[@Jesuslovesherr]

So true

[@DoloresMckee]

❤

[@lilbandage]

Thank you for this 🤍

[@krunalbhatt110]

❤❤❤❤

[@tammylwoodell87]

My 16 year old daughter sent me this link with the message “Watch this when you start feeling guilty about the past. “ I’m so happy she shared this with me. His words made a positive difference for me.

[@justjoshin38]

Ocean Pebbles thank you so much for the kind words! Keep fighting and stay strong!

[@fromhell11112]

PLEASE KEEP HER SAFE ONLINE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, THE INTERNET IS FULL OF PREDITORS SO PLEASE MAKE SHE SHES NOT TALKING TO STRANGERS AND WATCH THE CONTENT SHES CONSUMING!!!!!! there is a epidemic of groomers online, every corner, every app, anything with a comment section or chat box is dangerous, so i hope you see this message and i hope your girl is safe

[@annmarieknapp2480]

I hope you find peace. You sound like a lovely person and everyone deserves forgiveness. That includes ourselves. Your daughter is a great human being. You dud that. Reared a kind and empathetic young person who loves you and wants you to live in peace with knowledge you deserve it. Hugs to you and your family.

[@joshuakohn4408]

Just remember this "whenever you feel guilty about the past it shows your current day morals have exceeded your past mistakes and this proof of growth' so basically you are not the person who made those mistakes you are the person that learned from them!

[@Vocalzone_covers]

Boy do I relate to this.. My days are dark. I'm worried I won't cope. I carry the guilt of my past around and can't let it go. Life isn't a good place to be.

[@ragnorockthefierce6992]

No life is a great gift That we must choose to use I can't say I'm in a good place but we can only reach a better place by moving onwards

[@justjoshin38]

Keep fighting! You’ve got this, I believe in you.

[@celticphilomena]

Chris Keef I know how hard it is but there is a way through. Nature has been a great healer, go well. Blessings to you 🙏

[@vrschwrngsthrtkr22]

You just didn't read the manual on how to use your brain.

[@Lovez411]

One day at a time, I know it sounds cliché but it truly helps. Do as much as you can to enjoy your day, whether it's a delicious drink or walking on the grass. Be gentle with yourself. Please.

[@valvenis2601]

I’m 27. Can’t even begin to explain how many poor decisions or people I’ve hurt. I’ve been an alcoholic for 7 years. It’s taken nearly everything from me. About to lose my license for a year, lost the girl of my dreams in May, and she’s happily cuddled up with her new man on instagram. Ruined family relationships. Friends, jobs, everything. I cry every single day. I’ve given up hope things will get better but I’m still trying, I guess. I just never thought my life would be like this. Had such a bright future and threw it away for a bottle. Anyway, thanks for this.

[@joseph8468]

Keep holding on, brother. Sobriety; living happily, joyfully. & freely is indeed possible. You can become that best self that you know. I am asking my Higher Power (God) this very minute to bless you and to fill you with His Peace & Wisdom. Be well young man.

[@savemyeyebrows6613]

@@joseph8468It's good that you are just 27 and realizing it so sooon. I have seen family and family member of my friend's whose alcohol addiction ruined a lot of things. they realised it in their 40s. But they got over it. So you can as well.

[@Cornelious1882]

With respect use that as fuel to put a stop who, up until now you used to be right. We have so many technologies methods that can help. You are still young 27. You really can forgive yourself. So do it. Can live today as if its your first. Let the past go keep moving yes keep trying. Many people have defeated it which means you will too. check. faster. List. free may help. I really want you to come back here and give us an update on positive changes making seriously. You've got this

[@drbladerunner]

Thanks for sharing. Hang on. It will get better. I'll be praying 🙏

[@valvenis2601]

@@drbladerunner it has gotten better. A month and a half sober right now. Still fixing things but things are getting better slowly but surely. Thank you for the positive energy, I send it right back atcha

[@fitforfreelance]

self-forgiveness is crucial to self-compassion and reaching your goals!

[@Selfemployedmildautisticperfor]

But still talker and I miss school speeches and teaching project etc anyway um u didn't deserve it and would knowing why he was that way have changed ur fears and discomfort ? Also cop waa a gentleman ha lol Commenter curious bout ur channel well check it out next

[@clarinamascarenhas7499]

I find it hard to forgive myself a lot of the time where other people who have done the same things probably wouldnt think twice.

[@neals2955]

omg same!!!

[@smileyface5350]

Please.have some self respect..stay away from them and speak up for urself

[@Sarahizahhsum]

I can understand that. I've done awful things and think 1 billion times in them. They eat me alive. My stomach is in shambles.

[@austinhartwell5479]

@@Sarahizahhsummine too I did not treat myself with kindness and lashed out on others because of it.

[@kamyaarora1395]

I'm 22 and feel exactly the same. I hurt someone I love really bad and cut ties with him. Now when I think of going back, I'm confused if it's because of guilt or love. And in case it's because of guilt, I don't wanna go back because he deserves someone who would love him with all their heart. I also have OCD, and have intrusive thoughts, sometimes about the same person and I just can't do anything but feel guilty and not deserving of love or happiness.

[@luliyashmendi5809]

The same😭😭😭

[@gurveerkaur2819]

Kamya may u find peace nd love dear...

[@suhanisharma4096]

Same here😭

[@mercedesjordan2206]

I wish I didn't understand your pain

[@anikethantv5233]

I'm 23. My girlfriend broke up with me for a terrible mistake that i did. Its been around a month since we broke up. Each and every day i cried asking for forgiveness... But she couldn't forgive me because she knew she deserved better.... Do you know i felt the same thing too i felt i don't deserve her, I was in guilt for messing up what we had... I cried.... i thought i shouldn't be there in this world... She loved me so much and still how could I hurt her and push her away.... I was in too much guilt, I thought I'll go mad and end up in hospital... I realised I'm not doing good by suffering myself in guilt, it's not going to help either me or her... She has forgiven me, she still talks to me but she's hurt with what I've done. She just can't get back to me... I'm scared to lose her because she was everything to me. I loved her soo much... But I know I have to get up I have a life.... I'm not dead yet.... I can still do good in life... I'm sure she deserves better now... But I also know I can become a person that she deserves if I work hard..... I can't correct the mistake I've done.... But i can forgive myself and do good in life... I feel we all need to pay for mistakes to forgive oneself..... I find god in innocent people, so I want to help them..... I want to earn a good money and donate it... I want to do social service and help them.... I feel I can forgive myself by doing this..... Do something to others, help others which will help you to forgive yourself.... Learn to accept things... I Hope this helps you to be better in life.... Please forgive yourself cuz until then you are stuck... and can't move ahead.

[@michielweisbeek3283]

1.Forgive yourself 2.Forgive others 3.Treat yourself with kind eyes 4. Do at at your own pace Rules of a happy life. Earl Nighingale

[@imsofocused4678]

What's the name of the program by Earl Nightingale.

[@apocalypsgoddess1]

I got a little choked up at the end when he said "I'm gonna congratulate you in advance". It made me feel like I'm worthy of self forgiveness and that someone believes in me enough and wants me to do it.

[@matthewwhitehead5571]

Just listening to this brought to tears. I have so much anger in me that I feel like I can't let it go. Listening to this tells me that I can let it go and move forward. Thank you for this much love.

[@justjoshin38]

Matthew Whitehead keep fighting! It’s a long and courageous battle, I know you can do it.

[@sarahf1107]

@@justjoshin38 Aww, you're so sweet... 🥺❤. You have such a kind heart and soul 💖.

[@kirkb2286]

I can really relate to you . The only time I didn’t have anger in my life was when I was high on drugs. Two years ago my father died his last words to me was “stop talking you are bothering me “ I closed his eyes and the funeral home picked him up at 4am. I had so much anger for this man I didn’t have to choke back any tears. BUT I realized I had to forgive him for my sake. You are a wonderful person and as soon as you realize that you will be free like I am . I send you ❤️

[@artboxfashion4042]

Sometimes undiagnosed OCD can cause thought spirals, rumination and "unforgiveness". Its an anxiety disorder. You can't forgive, let go, or stop thinking because you BRAIN wont let you. It's not your fault. And don't feel bad if you can't forgive everyone. What I'm getting from this person, is his obsessive thought was he caused this abusive man's death. The thought was causing bad feelings and spirals. Instead, he needed to rewire his thinking to what it really was: the illness caused this man's death. OCD treatment is Exposure Response Prevention, and also bringing out those unwanted thought spirals and seeing them for what they are: Anxious Thoughts about yourself and others.

[@sonjaivanova3795]

I have no clue why this doesn’t have more views. This man is a great storyteller and I empathize with him deeply. In my opinion, this is the best and most helpful TED Talk about self forgiveness that I’ve come across.

[@justjoshin38]

I'm Sof thank you for your kind words!

[@anapaola7241]

because it takes self love to allow yourself to seek help and heal. (M19e10feb1:14.021:)

[@loggedout8572]

Needed this. The amount of guilt I feel is insane. I feel like I’ve ruined everything for myself and I turn 18 next month

[@centykaia4450]

You have so much time trust me

[@ShaunHolden]

@@centykaia4450 have you managed to forgive yourself?

[@wrightxyon5387]

Bro I turned eighteen and I've been going through so much s***and it's all my fault. I need to forgive myself for the things that I can't take away otherwise I'm not going to make it in this world.

[@sc7244]

Man I needed this. I’ve lied over such small things because I’m insecure about certain things, and it weighs heavily on my conscious.

[@ichiigo-chan]

I can totally feel you on this one! I've done this too and some other mistakes but either way, I believe we deserve forgiveness. Everyone does.

[@bhavanithillai]

Me too 😢

[@lilbabytears]

This

[@Mecca188]

I’ve made a lot of bad decisions lately,I’ve been so hard on myself for my failures based on my mistakes but I want to forgive myself,accept my mistakes as lessons and learn and move on from them

[@sweetiemin4654]

I send this to my own messenger. This relieves my anxiety.

[@AmyJackson-_-85]

I send myself stuff all the time. I keep quotes in texts and videos in messenger.

[@MaryPalen-o6s]

I am 64 and again, I find myself needing to forgive myself.

[@joshuakohn4408]

IDK what you did or if this helps at all but I FORGIVE you my friend :)

[@GlenB1963]

Excellent Ted talk. People don't consider self forgiveness yet we need to to be all that we can be in life. We are not going to be able to move forward if we are tied to our past through unforgiveness. I'm only just discovering the freedom that comes through self forgiveness. Thank you for this powerful talk.

[@justjoshin38]

G thank you so much for the kind words!

[@debbiemckenna5]

I am 53 yrs old and cannot forgive myself for taking my kids to my Xhusbands when I got really depressed. I think my son hates me. I think about suicide but I wont do anything because I don’t want them to suffer. It is so difficult to forgive all the mistakes I have made in the past. I have a lot of fear for the future too. I need to forgive myself for the past and stop worrying about the future and stay in the present. It is soooo hard. Please pray for me.

[@nbasfanatic]

Hey Debbie, hope things are doing better in these past 2 months. I’m going through the same thing as a young man in his 20s and just wanted to extend a hand and let you know that I truly truly forgive you. Please keep going and maintain that present moment! Trust me this hit home as I know the feeling of hopelessness and feeling destined to shame for eternity. I don’t know if you’re in therapy but that has been helping me a ton and I truly do pray you receive the love and forgiveness you are worthy of, and not just from others but from most importantly yourself! Love always and stay safe. Holla at me if you need me

[@elbenji]

i'm sobbing as i'm typing this because i have so much guilt from the past self that i used to be...i was reborn again in August 2020 where i left all the dark past behid to start a new life of peace and happiness and yet i still have times when i feel such a heavy burden of guilt from all the bad things i did and all the people i hurt...it makes me feel so bad inside that i'm desperately looking for a solution and this video hit me hard...i pray that I can let my past go and start living as myself....day 124 of not getting a full night's sleep

[@PK-vt6ed]

I’m sorry to hear this. Stay strong Ben. I need to as well. 🎚💜

[@sr-qk1th]

stay strong. it'll be okay

[@Sarahizahhsum]

Oh man can relate on that sleep part. Guilt is hard to accommodate with sleep.

[@nancykhandelwal7156]

I can totally relate to this. Not able to sleep with the guilt. I want to forgive myself so bad. Sending you healing Vibes

[@ShaunHolden]

@@Sarahizahhsum Have you managed to deal with the guilt?

[@zeybae8220]

I remember watching this and crying my eyes out almost exactly one year ago. I was seeking for forgiving myself but didn't get to it easily, as it is a tough path. So many have changed since then, which I am so grateful for. Now, I am gradually doing better things and making better choices for myself. I believe everyone needs one to be on their side to protect them, root for them, uplift them no matter what. I choose to be that person for myself because now I know I am worthy of it.

[@Anushka-hn5uk]

This video just saved my life today. Thank you so much. May God bless you.

[@UnseemlyGenie00]

No it didn't

[@KoleKre]

I hope you can find peace every day after❤

[@MegaBuuHuu]

I couldn't stop weeping through this whole video. The topic of forgiveness has been my biggest emotionally loaded problem lately and I still don't know why. I just start crying more when I say to myself that I didn't do anything wrong back then and I was just a child. I think these tears are healing and important, so I can finally find out whats really going on and learn to forgive myself over time. Thank you so much for sharing this personal story

[@sgreen9088]

I felt the man's pain for the hurt of his mom's bf. It is so important to check on our mental health cause we hurt others in the process. God's healing on you and your mom.

[@suzanneballou97]

Thank you for your comment. I am this young mans mother. After seeing this for the first time myself several years ago, I too had to self forgive. I had no idea of what my son had been going through. I am truly proud of the man he has become. ❤

[@sgreen9088]

@@suzanneballou97 thank you for sharing mom. Are you closer since viewing the video?

[@suzanneballou97]

@@sgreen9088 Yes, we've always been close, even though we live in different states. He's helped me heal in so many ways. I'll always be so very proud of the man he's become. 😊

[@현셍]

8:28 "We forgive because that person doesn't know any better."

[@PunkMartyr]

If you are dealing with anything along these lines the movie Warrior really shows these concepts in a light I have rarely seen elsewhere in storytelling. God loves you and above all else he wants you to love yourself and others.

[@AngeloKevon]

I feel guilty for my past, I’m 21 and I have high dreams of influencing others and inspiring with my creativity. But I’m having so much trouble forgiving myself and pursuing anything because there are negative perceptions of me that I feel will literally destroy my life. And the amount of people who think I’m a terrible person is a small one but I identify with this constant past version of me. So I’ve been stuck for months not trying anything.

[@ScottaySeigel]

25 and dealing with this exact issue right now. The way people are on the internet can leave you feeling like you have no chance of redemption or becoming a better person. It's something I can't stand about the world now. Integrity and character are more important and I truly think people are deserving of being able to live out their dreams regardless of an imperfect past. People expect so much perfection out of everybody but if they truly saw the complete context to somebody's life, they wouldn't be so harsh. People are scared now more than anything of how others think of them. I believe in you and I hope you conquer this. I feel I'm going through an extremely similar time right now and I so desperately want these feelings to be gone. I hope the same for you.

[@funtoncorpor1245]

omg I know exactly how you feel and its such a scary and terrifying feeling. The negative perceptions part especially hit home.

[@krystingrant6292]

Same I've caused myself so much trauma

[@AngeloKevon]

@@krystingrant6292 here if you need to vent

[@AngeloKevon]

@@funtoncorpor1245 here if you need to vent

[@DMZBestPlays-yt8ei]

I have been forgiving others for years. sometimes I forgive myself. Since i've quit using drugs to self-medicate, ive been full of anger. When I am angry around people, i always apologise to them a few hours later. they forgive me i have tried forgiving myself and usually it works. but now im sober, i think i feel that intense anger. i keep punching myself. i really needed to hear this. thankyou man.

[@conradszymkowicz7152]

Forgiveness is an ongoing process that brings fulfillment to our lives. This is a great talk about the power and impact on our Selves who deeply experience forgiveness.

[@htokid7299]

How do you forgive yourself after you hurt someone you love more than life itself? Even if they do forgive you, how do you forgive yourself for the foolishness..... it’s eating me alive slowly, for years now...

[@user-wl5gz9vi7x]

Same..

[@lalansingh8518]

Same with me.. one thing that I did is that I dedicated my life to the person whom I caused so much pain.. still I feel it's d least I did.. I repent and am trying to forgive myself.. I can't do anything about the past but I can work for a different future.. Hoping you forgive yourself too.. Please do..

[@htokid7299]

@@lalansingh8518 Hold your head high as well my friend, we were naive and truly didn’t understand the repercussions this would have on the one we loved or our life. Hopefully god blesses us with a chance at redemption, a chance to make it right.

[@blockbyblock4078]

I am struggling with this too. It's just extremely hard. I guess what you can do is accept that you've caused pain to them and it was a huge mistake and make a sincere apology. After all that's all what you can do. You can't undo it, right. I'm sure you would if you had chance to. I know I would. So be a little compassionate to yourself and make sure you aren't the same person anymore. The same person who hurt them. I hope it helps :)

[@htokid7299]

@@blockbyblock4078 I really appreciate that comment! Yes I’m definitely trying to be a better man each and every day and right my wrongs, I just hate that the person I love the most sees me as a monster I guess you could say. You’re right if I had the chance to take it all back and fix it I would in a heartbeat. I need to learn to be more forgiving with myself. I’m definitely not the same person anymore, and I’m truly sorry to hear you’re struggling with the same thing, take your own advice because it was good advice. I pray that you find your way and find happiness again or get a conclave to redeem yourself. Love always wins, take care my friend.

[@monajooma]

Just last night I forgave myself first and then everyone who caused me pain. Now I’ll fight my bipolar and come victories.

[@javirichardson5817]

Thank you for this . Just hearing you story reminded me how important self forgiveness is for the mind. Pray for you and your struggle

[@brandonmaddox4862]

I feel guilty for hurting my wife, she’s my soulmate, the love of my life and the reason I’m alive and as much as I want her to forgive me, I know that I need to forgive myself and I need to forgive the people that hurt me and let go of the hurt people put on me, I let it fester for so long that it became a part of me where my depression has become a part of my personality and I’m just now learning to forgive even if it hurts, it’ll set your soul free. I’m hoping I can find all this and anybody reading this and you’re struggling like I am, just know I’m with you, forgive others and forgive yourself

[@marconel3758]

This made me feel better. But I'm in that infinite loop where even though I "forgive" myself, apologized and acknowledged my mistakes, my mind keeps reminding me that the people I've hurt are still out there and still talking. Things years later has resurfaced again and caused a pause in the healing process. I don't know how to get out of that loop...

[@ShaunHolden]

Hey Marco have you been able to move past this now? Sorry you are struggling with this!

[@tanwright2823]

I have the exact same problem marco I just feel I can’t really go forward with my healing

[@tanwright2823]

@@ShaunHolden any advice on this , struggling with the same thing

[@ShaunHolden]

@@tanwright2823 How important is this to you that you resolve this problem?

[@tanwright2823]

@@ShaunHolden very , I can’t seem to find happiness amongst all the good things around me , I lost a love one after being with her 7 years

[@amandalynnblaze9799]

I just made a video on apologizing to myself and this act of service has been a daily practice because I have broken my own heart so much throughout my life. I know that one day these apologies will feel more real and I will accept them 🙏🏻❤️

[@dontran391]

It is so hard to self forgiveness because we are humans still having a hard time trying to understand and know ourselves. I myself still trying to figure out who I am as a person. Especially with my case I have a hard time trying to self forgive for my sins which is being too attached to people around me that some would feel scared or harassed from my clingy needs. I did not mean to make people around me feel scared. I wish those people who feel scared about me do not fear me and instead forgive me and be my friend and help me become a better person. Though I was advised by my psychiatrist that the best way is to cannot force people to let go their negative actions towards me. Instead I should focus on how to love myself more, especially forgive myself for creating the trouble. It's just so hard though.

[@justjoshin38]

Don Tran you got this! You have to just keep fighting the battle. I believe in you!

[@poojaindaura]

I believe you can do it..lots of blessing ✨

[@JohnDavis-ed5sg]

Yes it's so hard - I realise now that all my life I have been selfish, grasping and ungrateful, and I'm sitting here writing a letter to someone that I have wronged, asking for forgiveness. I have had so much love offered and used it without realising how lucky I was. I am going to have to work on forgiving myself. Good luck to you.

[@skyeelliot6563]

You got this. Take care of yourself

[@michaelhernandez7978]

How are you doing now? Same boat.

[@_AntaraChowdhury]

I have been dealing with overthinking for too long that it eats me up everyday, somehow i cannot let go my failures and the thoughts comes back over and over, they makes me inoperative at times, i learnt early on in life to forgive everyone but the thing i could never learn is to forgive myself, no matter how many videos on self forgiveness i watch i am to be blamed for the situation i am in. I dont know if i am going to be a better person but its me who keeps myself holding back again and again

[@isasanchez724]

you seem like such a loving person just by the fact that you care so much about others, I hope that one day you are able to achieve self-forgiveness bc you seem pretty great to me and you deserve to feel that way about yourself. We all make mistakes. Thankfully we have the chance to do better, don’t be to hard on yourself, I’m rooting for you! It may not erase the past, but you can change your future

[@djgonpet]

when he said that he had one person left to forgive - himself, I cried.. it's been years since I can't forgive myself. Been having CBT and EMDR for more than 2+ years but still..

[@IndieDX]

Wish you all the best.

[@Wazooka]

I think this is a really helpful talk, at least for me! Thanks a lot!

[@justjoshin38]

Sebastian Boka thank you for the kind words!

[@smileyface5350]

@@justjoshin38 good story.. Congrats.. You are strong

[@deebee7605]

I have made a huge mistake that has had massive consequences on my physical health. I cancelled some treatment and now my condition has worsened. I had multiple reasons for doing it, and I was completely overwhelmed and stressed from being so caught up in them. I have rebooked the treatment but I can't stop bashing myself for cancelling the first time because I believe by delaying the treatment I've made my health worse. I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself :(

[@KoleKre]

I know you don’t want to tell a stranger, but you don’t have to to hear this: I forgive you. I would never hate you for whatever you did, and I’m probably not who you want to hear this from, but not everyone in this world would hate you and I never will ❤

[@deebee7605]

@@KoleKre thank you

[@aufa2119]

Thank you after a year anxious about whether i would be able to keep my scholarship, i think no amount of money is worth my peace. It may go as the way it come to me. And i will keep striving to be like the man who gave those scholarship. Whatever i still got it or leave it i will keep loving and forgiving to myself.

[@mrsqueaks1154]

Life changes. What matters most is your happiness, not what others think of you, or how "successful" you are. Success is something only you can define for yourself x

[@aufa2119]

@@mrsqueaks1154 yep this is the fact i learned these days. Thank you for ur wise answer 🙏

[@eazyscottie]

Many days I feel like im the stepdad in this story. I caused so much pain and fear to my ex. The woman I claimed to be the love of my life. I caused her harm than unforgivable in her eyes and mine. I’ve prayed, gone to therapy, tried to forget, nothing takes away my shame. I want her to know just how sorry i am. That I knowledge what I did to her but I’ve long lost the right to contact her. She hates me. My past haunts me and my fear is that I’ll one day commit suicide. I pray i find peace before then.

[@viscafcb9911]

Are u ok now?

[@eazyscottie]

@@viscafcb9911 I’ve still got a long way to go but I’m getting better. Regret and shame still torment me but I asked that as my karma. I continue to go to therapy and work on being a much better human than I was to an innocent woman. Thank you for asking. It made my day.

[@sumalathabalamurugan8068]

I can't thank enough for this video. I was blaming myself, thinking hard why i couldn't perform better in my career. Each time i try to make a progress, im affected by the consequences of my past mistakes and lose my confidence and blames myself for being unfit😭😭. But god thank you for the beautiful message.

[@MrChinamanTV]

Got drunk and did a lot of drugs on my birthday a couple months ago and got tempted and cheated on someone I love so much. I told her right away my sin and I don’t think she can ever forgive me but I’m trying my best to be better so I can finally forgive myself. This vid def helped

[@annettehansen6047]

I used to have a hard time forgiving myself mainly because I didn't stick up for myself when people hurt me and it affected my self esteem and I got into alcohol and drugs which destroyed my life and caused hurt to my loved ones. I had a low self esteem, lacked self respect, didn't take care of myself, felt worthless, and self destructed. I got sick of the problems myvaddiction caused me and others so I got sober and in recovery and went to treatment. I also worked the steps which are all about letting go of bad behaviors, making amends, becoming a better person, and helping others. You have to write down your resentments, how they affect you, and your part in them and that includes resentments towards yourself. When I saw my parts and processed them with a sponsor and therapist, I had to understand why I behaved that way and not justify it of course. Then I knew what needed to change and make amends. I decided to let go of those bad behaviors and be a better person plus acknowledging all my good qualities all of which made it easier to forgive myself and love myself, take care of myself, respect myself, and treat myself good. I felt like I had self worth.

[@Iamluckygirl1111]

Thank you I really needed to forgive someone & myself . You happen at right time. Love your heart 😘

[@justjoshin38]

Thank you for the kind words!

[@vincenttanudjaya7397]

the same exact emotional burden that i faced, for more than 30 years. now that i learned to let go "forgive" our self. Thanks to this speaker, encouraging and i can relate to the situation.

[@celticphilomena]

I have been carrying my resentment/anger for 5 years. I want to let go and forgive. How do you know you have done this.

[@justjoshin38]

Philomena Wynne forgiveness is about the process, the moment you truly believe in yourself and dig deep to let go of the resentment, everything will fall into place. Keep on shining!

[@celticphilomena]

Guerilla Ent. Thanks for getting back. I am digging every day, I have to being brought up a Irish ☘️ catholic and the Family scapegoat. its the rest of them that don’t dig at all and blame the scapegoat. If my mother did not suffer in this I would of been able to handle it. But I am slowly getting there and a lot better than I was. Keep shining to.😇🙏

[@Nelafyed]

i feel you so bad

[@05wilsonev]

with no forgiveness you have perfectionism, shame and self sabotage. Just trying to focus on forgiveness you will find more stability in life

[@Ana-gq7ce]

@@05wilsonev true. Thank you💛

[@DonnaFreeman-b7h]

POWERFUL TESTIMONY! Thank you for sharing. God bless you.

[@miwa297]

I needed this so much😢. Thank you, sir❤.

[@DiamondEDC]

Currently trying to forgive myself for unforgivable deeds I did at 19/20. I've definitely learned from them and I also think I've been cautious not to repeat the mistakes, but knowing I hurt someone eats me alive. It's been years, and I finally reached out to apologize to the person I wronged. No reply, but I know I likely won't be receiving one. If I do, it will likely be one filled with anger. I'm trying

[@sling2719]

Going trough the same thing. It’s okay, we are human beings and we are not perfect. Your mistake does not define who you are and we don’t have to associate with that person who we were anymore, we did not know any better but we have a chance to learn, really think about what we did and own it, and then move on, forgive ourselves and never repeat it again. I know what you are feeling right now cuz i am feeling the same thing, but we did it because we weren’t experienced in life. Sending you a hug…If you dont have anyone to talk to about it, I’m your option if you wan’t to….

[@ShaunHolden]

@@sling2719 what a lovely message! I can not tell you how nice this was to read my friend 😊 good luck with your self forgiveness journey if you need anything please let me know!

[@sling2719]

@@ShaunHolden I actually do need help☹️ Is there any way I can explain my situation to you?

[@ShaunHolden]

@@sling2719 Of course you can use the link in my KZbin about me and we can talk there!

[@ShaunHolden]

@@sling2719 Have you completed it?

[@Sparksflymich]

I couldn't forgive myself for what I did to my health when I was a teen. I was so naive and literally did not know the consequence then. I now suffer everyday in a loop of anxiety because I believe the actions will sabotage my future one day. It's just so hard to forgive your younger self....

[@ShaunHolden]

It’s possible you CAN do this I absolutely promise you!

[@HealthyMindProject]

What a beautiful, heartfelt, meaingful and inspiring video.

[@lisaalexander1824]

Things you said 35 and 20 years ago can hit you and you hate yourself..learn SELF FORGIVENESS

[@blysamari]

If I didn't forgave myself recently I would have killed myself... I have a huge exam tomorrow, defining my future, and other big exams coming and I haven't worked... For the recent days I told myself But I remembered that the situation isn't as bad as it seems, that I can grow out of it, and by the way I don't have anything to kill myself without being hurt or worse : survive my attempt. I am so young, it is okay to make mistakes. I want to go through it and live my life which has barely even started. I love life, and I won't throw it away for past mistakes. I hope anyone reading this will too. Take care of yourself and forgive yourself!

[@Akira282]

I have to carry that weight. I past the point of no return, a line I did not think I would ever cross. Just a few years before I wouldn't have expected I would be the one that crossed it. Now, I have a new psychological comrade on my conscience questioning who I am.

[@ShaunHolden]

Have you resolved this now?

[@rachelgarz6407]

Thanks so much Joshua for sharing your incredible journey. It's touching, it's powerful. I can imagine it wasn't easy for you to tell this story in front of so many people, but your generous act has helped many others! It made me think a lot. All the best to you

[@ShaunHolden]

Have you now been able to forgive yourself?

[@yogamantri]

I have always been aware that I'm really hard on myself. If I don't do the 10 things I want to do (an ambitious list too), and do 9, I dwell on those 9. Here is what has helped me in a lot: Write down your accomplishments. Write them down, even if it's something seemingly small. When you start being hard on yourself, read the list. After a while, replace the reading with thinking of your accomplishments. Program your mind to cut bad thoughts when they're starting. I have literally said out loud "no no, bad thought, you're not going to stop me from celebrating what I've done and how far I've come". Another thing regarding regret of the past -- I am learning to trust who I was back then. The decision I am now regretting is one I made during a certain point in my life, and for some reason I made it. I have to trust past me - she's a strong&competent girl and hindsight is 2020. So I might've done things differently now, but past me did what was best for her then. I'm not an expert, just someone who has been working through this. And I thought I'd share what has worked for me.

[@jennymkhol]

This is very insightful. I’ve heard 2 ted talks this morning that have mentioned forgive yourself for the decision . In my case, I decided to enter into a marriage that didn’t work, 10 years after we got divorced and some emotions keep resurfacing about guilt having my kid go through challenging emotions. It’s hard to self forgive. I’ve been thinking of my humanity and how a human is frágil and can only do so much, and put up with so much to keep a sane mind .

[@yogamantri]

@@jennymkhol sending you lots of light ✨ and strength!

[@lynnamanda4093]

I love what you said about learning to trust the past you.I always view what I did as mistakes, but maybe it was my way to cope,and maybe I didn’t know any better.We are so hard on ourselves sometimes,I truly hope I find grace and peace,and I hope you do too

[@MDAGOMON-q5j]

thank you brother

[@jaiminsharma]

Self forgiveness and courage goes hand in hand

[@staylor8883]

Thank You to this young man for being so courageous as to share this with me

[@xiauthenticism]

Thank you so much

[@desirieannerey1636]

I have so much anger in myself. So much hate in myself. But I trust God.

[@maxolotl5998]

That’s the way to go! Also, talk to someone about it if you can.

[@sarahgamutan2725]

I just cried from all of this. Thank you.

[@trevorwalden6097]

Well, some of us feel guilty for things we actually did. Not just feel bad for things we wanted to do.

[@ShaunHolden]

If this is you then you need to forgive yourself for your past mistakes. Problem is nobody shows you the exact method to do this…

[@orangesandroses9448]

Take heart, all will be well xx. Thank you for sharing your story, it has been eye-opening.

[@MegsCarpentry-lovedogs]

This was a sincere deep thought provoking heartfelt presentation. Lots to think about from the experience this speaker shared. All part of the personal journey to work on self forgiveness; which will not take place overnight. Thank you Mr. Galarza from Canada during Covid.

[@justjoshin38]

Thank you for your kind words!

[@abidzarawwalin759]

I'm surprised how small the views is, i'm really glad i have found this video.

[@namitaharkal9307]

I am watching this while trying to forgive my ex i was dating and mistakes i did in relationship. Its so easy to blame him for the mistakes he did and so hard to forgive for the mistakes i did as well in relationship. This is simple and most important factor i want to learn in my life.I am not good at forgiving people. I move on and it takes a lot of time for me to forgive someone. I have forgive some people in past for there mistakes but i dont easily forget them. I am also trying to forgive my mom for how she behaved at times with me in childhood. This is very very and most difficult for me.

[@Lifewithreetika]

I can totally relate....me and my ex both badly hurted each other. But i couldn't forgive myself. I'm so much in guilt

[@edvinlee5]

Thank you for this video. I have been going through a similar journey after my husband passed away earlier this year. He was suffering from addiction, and it got to a point where I was so frustrated and lost it on him. Over the past month, I have felt more guilty than I ever felt. Since summer, I have decided I will not be angry with him and forgive him but still have trauma over the situation. I do try to let go of the past hurt and sadness. I agree it is a long process and an effort to work through my feelings. Now I'm on a path to finding forgiveness for what I didn't do right. I am glad I found this, but I wished he shared his process of finding self-forgiveness. Thank you.

[@kristinemagpayo236]

I cried,thank you it was worth it to watch.

[@gracedavidson5135]

sobbing. thank you so much.

[@radegojic4862]

A very brave man, thank you.

[@GloriaW888]

My heart goes out to you. Thank you for sharing. ❤️

[@sarahgarcia6120]

This was beautiful and I needed this. Thank you ❤

[@ricanoelleagayan4400]

This is probably one of the best ted talks I've heard.

[@akshayachary6840]

We feel you, boy. Self forgiveness is liberating.🙏🙏🙏

[@solimarmirandav]

Thank you

[@Ikigai747]

Wow.....thanks brother I hope we look into the chapters of bipolar and schizophrenia too really soon....and the society opens its eyes up to and understand what you and thousands of people mentally down with these crippling disorders go through also thanks a lot for this wonderful message...I forgive the society my people my friends for not understanding me I forgive myself and ill keep trying to push the thoughts away

[@ftg19]

im literally crying

[@stephaniezhang6015]

I forgive myself because my bad decision to let bad people gaslighted me & controlled my life. After i was let go by them, i got over it by addiction. Hated myself for falling for their tricks, hated them so much. I don't have to forgive them, because i don't owe them apologies. Karma will get them someday and I will know it when it happens. I forgive myself for my own inner peace soul.

[@MalavikaS100]

Thank you 👍

[@amaviame]

i needed this.

[@heathergibson5782]

Wow, that was so power and has helped me sooooo much. I cant thank you enough. I will forgive them and I will forgive myself.

[@johnrainsman6650]

How self-forgiveness saved your life? Yeah, well, nearly losing my life didn't exactly make me forgivable, let alone redeemable. I was once taken to my boss's office--with her and her chef colleague--for touching my coworkers too much ( *_casually,_* on arms or shoulders). I was always very outgoing and tactile at work. The chef told me that we need the workers to be comfortable in a good work environment. That I shouldn't talk about anything other than work and school or tell my stories, because they may be inappropriate or upsetting (can't remember her exact words) to others. Now yeah, I pretty much didn't have a filter, but I don't think I said anything *_horrible._* I only meant to have fun with my crew. I really didn't get specific information from the chef about subjects and references. She likes that I'm outgoing, but she made it sound risky and in need of limits. And again, that I shouldn't touch anyone without consent. And then when I nearly died in a car accident, the chef refused to change her mind about her speech. I overheard her tell my boss (who felt remorse for how they handled me) that while she was very happy I survived and regretted my severe injury, it didn't change how she felt about my mistakes. That no matter what would've or could've happened to me, what I did *would always* be wrong and what they did *would always* be right. _"A person's faults are not reduced by their near-passing. He did what he did, and we had to talk to him about it. That truth can't be belittled by his tragic moment."_ Do you guys see my point?

[@Cornelious1882]

Could be potential narcissist and/or perhaps someone without a pulse. 🙏

[@johnrainsman6650]

@@Cornelious1882Well, I wouldn't say narcissism. I trust she cares about my safety and felt pain from what I went through. It's just, that's basic warmth; it doesn't count. It's the deeper part that matters: "Wow, John went through so much, I wish I'd been nicer to him. I could've lost the poor guy. Maybe I didn't handle the work thing right."

[@omgilovesteak6484]

Thank you.

[@user-xe3ml4bt8i]

Excellent talk, I can relate. Having the hardest time forgiving myself. Thank you ..

[@KDShaolinMenace]

Thank you Josh.

[@heehee975]

Thank you!

[@bellatogo02]

WOw! This is amazing and the best ted talk on self forgiveness! I can relate and really needed to hear this.

[@kimpuchek1956]

I needed to hear this, too. Thank you.

[@justjoshin38]

Thank you so much for the reply! I hope you’re doing well and keep fighting!

[@MichaleMercedes]

Needed this. Thank you 🤍

[@Nina21_]

This was so beautiful & inspiring ! it made me tear up towards the end.. such a wonderful and eye opening message that i really needed to hear ❤

[@justjoshin38]

Thank you for the kind words, Nina!

[@Nina21_]

@@justjoshin38 it's my pleasure Sir ! =)

[@Nelafyed]

I am currently suffering from multiple mental issues and i find it so hard to forgive myself.

[@indianajosephine4881]

How are you doing?

[@maxolotl5998]

How are you Nela?

[@daphnechee4371]

Thank you so much for this…

[@klanderkal]

Im hurting so badly, I can not find word's. Consequences of my wrongful word's, decisions, and mistakes have completely devastated my life. Suffering every day with Depression, Anxiety, Insomnia.!! >Unable to forgive the person who has destroyed my life, my mental health, my happiness, hopes and dreams. Who took my wife, home, savings, my sports and hobbies, and my dream career job.. away from me.! .. that person!😣... is me.

[@PunkMartyr]

I’m at work so i’m not going to go into all of it but the same thing that happened to this man happened to me and it has destroyed my life. It happened 17 years ago. This morning I asked a coworker “do you think God really forgives sin?”. Part of me knows God has forgiven me but I am unable to forgive myself.

[@edgarmorales4476]

You forgive yourself your mindset, your thoughts, words and actions because you are in the world, restrained and blinded by the Ego (the guardian of individuality). You struggle bravely to adopt a more unconditionally loving way to think, feel and respond to every experience, but while you remain the single moving force within your consciousness, the Ego (the guardian of individuality) will eventually win. You forgive others the same way. For what is true forgiveness? It is the state of understanding yourself/others and your/their reasons for your/their behavior so clearly that you can say in all honesty - there is nothing to forgive.

[@Mantras-and-Mystics]

Thank you! I came to the video looking for something like this. Much appreciated. 💙💚❤️

[@annetteboettner3435]

Thank you, Joshua. Thank you!

[@checkdisoutman]

This is my favorite video of all time.