Temu, Take My Data (And My Dignity) - CosmoRider

Temu, Take My Data (And My Dignity):
This satirical anthem dives into the world of irresistible online bargains and their hidden costs. With biting humor, it follows the narrator’s journey through a series of "too-good-to-be-true" deals from Temu - from a non-starting chainsaw to surprise-exploding bedroom gadgets, a spy camera, and ‘relaxation pills’ with unexpected effects. Ultimately, the song takes a cautionary turn, warning listeners that "cheap" can come at the price of your privacy, dignity, and perhaps your peace of mind.
Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
Temu ads are everywhere, you can’t get away,
Deals too good to pass up, or so they say.
I clicked and I bought, gave in to the charm,
But each cheap thrill only brought me more harm.
[Verse 2]
A bargain on a chainsaw, thought it´s what i need.
But it wouldn’t even start, just stayed in defeat.
Silent and still, no power and no sound,
The best deal ever? I’ve been so let down.
[Chorus]
Oh, Temu, Temu, what have you sold to me?
The things you ship are garbage, why can´t you see?
Cheap thrills, cheap goods, but they don't even last,
Lesson is learned - I bought way too fast.
[Verse 3]
Bought some nice bedroom toys to spice up the night,
Temu’s “Best Couples Kit” - it felt like so right.
But mid-action it blew up, with sparks in the air,
Left us both jumping, caught us unaware.
[Verse 4]
Ordered a camera to keep things secure,
But it streamed our lives online, that is for sure.
Now the whole world knows more than it should,
Thanks, Temu, for the “sharing” - that’s so not good.
[Chorus]
Oh, Temu, Temu, what have you sold to me?
The things you ship are garbage, why can´t you see?
Cheap thrills, cheap goods, but they don't even last,
Lesson is learned - I bought way too fast.
[Verse 5]
Some calming pills to help me unwind,
But they had me wired, a new state of mind.
Erection is rising instead of calm sleep,
Thanks, Temu - for the kick that runs deep.
[Bridge]
So listen up, friends, don't fall for the bait,
Temu’s cheap tricks come with a heavy rate.
Those deals might seem sweet, but beware the disguise,
You’ll pay with your data - and a few goodbyes.
[Outro]
Oh, Temu, Temu, you sly little thief,
Promised me bargains, delivered only grief.
Cheap thrills and spills, now I see the signs,
When a deal seems too good - I should have read between the lines.