Do You Have a Mother Wound? - Terri Cole

[@JzMillinery]

I feel like you're talking directly to me, Terri! Thank you. I have self-sabotaged my career and personal life many times. I blew off an apprenticeship offer in Venice, Italy to be a shoemaker! I turned down an inherited apartment in a resort in Turkey that my aunt left me! (Later I heard from my cousin that the mother pretended to be my father in a letter, telling my cousins to keep the apartment from me). I came to help the mother 4 years ago at her request. She said she'd be dead at the end of 2017 and that her memory was failing.She's fine and 91. Being the only child (though neglected emotionally as a child), I self-abandoned, giving up my international career for her, and still am here! I took a 4.5 month break in Vietnam and found out at that time that she can take complete care of herself. I live in her home, full of anger and resentment. It's time to make money and get out! I'm 52, btw. You have helped me wake up. I am worthy.

[@allwellandgood8547]

This speaks to me so much Terri. My mum left when I was 8 and my dad became depressed. I spent my childhood playing mum to my younger sisters, longing for a mum, someone to hold me and listen to me, doing everything I could to stop my dad trying to take his life again. In a way I feel like both relationships with my parents left me with mother wounds. Wounds that I have been healing the past year, 30 years later, working hard on self care, my purpose and supporting others. I've still a long way to go I feel, the perfectionism, the self sabotage you talk about. Thank you so much for this and it isn't going in to the void its helping so many. With love from UK 🙏💙

[@itsmeaimster6698]

Definitely the Mother Wound is alive in my life. Needing constant approval, over-achieving, etc. But I’m wondering- is there a Father Wound? I feel like both of my parents have created the people pleasing doormat that I’ve become. Not feeling safe to be honest, not being free to have a conflict/debate, having to keep emotions hidden… those are because of my father.

[@msmiami9791]

Sounds like me !

[@itsmeaimster6698]

@@msmiami9791 I’m sure this has to be a thing. It can’t be that uncommon. It has become such an obstacle that I just shut down whenever I’m confronted about anything. I feel like I’m expected to achieve the impossible without “rocking the boat” and showing zero emotions (mainly anger) or stress. Is that your experience too? I know they think they did their best but… jeez, it’s hard some days.

[@Tippytopp2]

I posted a question about father wounds as well,,before reading the comments. I guess I really am, Not Alone.

[@itsmeaimster6698]

@@Tippytopp2 You are not alone. ❤️

[@happygoluckystar8069]

@@Tippytopp2 you are not alone Monica 💓 but this doesnt lessen your experience in any way. You had it double difficult, by having both parents with disfunctions which made your childchood so difficult. Know that one can heal at any age and that its worth the effort. Wishing you all the best on your healing journey! ✊💝

[@Let-it-be-Julie]

My therapist recommended your video to me. I'm so glad she did, because wow I'm mindblown! I feel like you were talking about me and my partner. Thank you do much I look forward to watching more of your videos.

[@terri_cole]

I'm glad it was helpful ❤️

[@ashleybankscoaching]

This is not going into the void !! That was funny 😄 I'm here listening, you've helped me a lot over the years and I never comment on the videos. Sorry 💘

[@Goldforever-vp8zq]

Made a special trip to the bookstore to search and get your book this weekend. I’m already loving it 😍

[@StephaniRoberts]

Sheesh. Feels like you were there. I was parentified by a single mom of 3. I was the only girl and youngest. As an empath, I was tuned into her emotional needs and she leveraged that. I was pulled into adult conversations and things I shouldn’t have had to think about. Bills, finances, her relationship to my dad, her ex, alimony and child support payments, all kinds of stuff. She was in the Christian ministry and revered for her Bible studies and nurturing of drug addicts, felons, and broken people. So how could I ever say anything less than glowing about her up on her pedestal. The level of neglect and the burden on my oldest brother was huge. Whew. I love Boundary Boss, and this seems like a new book to me. Curious about our attraction to narcissistic men who mirror the neglect and eggshell walking and “competition” subduing our gifts and not shining so they don’t feel uncomfortable. The self sabotage right at the crest of a great opportunity or success. 🎯🎯🎯🎯 🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯 YUP!!! Exercise bulimia to self soothe.🎯 The timing of this is eerie. I shared a book earlier today called Mother Hunger, about this topic earlier today with a friend. Haven’t read it yet but it’s not really something I think about often but clearly a theme of the day and something I DO need to work through. Thank you for your course Terri!! And your fabulous boundary book!!! I’m becoming the good protective mother. Left TWO abusive relationships and started a podcast to help women like me. Working on a course to help women make a plan to exit emotionally abusive and controlling relationships and THRIVE. Would love to interview you and spotlight this course from my course. Healing of this wound is foundational!!! 💛

[@Tippytopp2]

+I have mother wounds. But are there Father's wounds, as well?

[@Niketathehealer]

Licensed therapist here. Most of my work is helping folks uncover their mother wounds 💕🌺

[@jessicamitchell8984]

Not growing up but definitely as an adult. My mother and I went from being very close to pretty much just acquaintances after I started putting up boundaries. It’s very sad.

[@terri_cole]

I'm holding space for you with so much compassion, Jessica ❤️

[@PersephoneRising333]

Hi Terri ☺️ Thank you for this 🙏 Wonderful info!!! You have a beautifully radiant mixture of Divine Feminine strength and softness, and I find it really soothing to hear you speak btw 🕊 will definitely get the worksheet and look at the course info too! This was really helpful.. been working thru mother wounding issues for several years and going thru the different stages of grief basically regarding it... was alternately parentified, scapegoated and an emotional incest situation going on as the oldest child in a narc/ codependent family system... but wounds are where the light shines in, and I am here for it! 🌈🙏🕊💝 Blessings, Love and Light! Thank you for sharing your beautiful knowledge, insights and healing with the world! 💝

[@Reepicheepish]

Resonates

[@paulascott9362]

Hello! I am new here and I have just had an ah ha!! moment. I am reading BB, and so last night I ventured down to the basement to try to unpack my childhood, and my mother came into my mind. I was thinking at first I had a father wound, because my father abandoned me, but i now understand I have a mother wound. I very much need to begin to heal from this. It’s amazing the clarity that this video has brought to me. Thank you so very much!

[@michellecruz8956]

Adopted, and it feels like you are reading my mind.

[@terri_cole]

❤️

[@NKRAIEM]

Terri, you're amazing. Thanks for sharing this special insight.

[@terri_cole]

Thank you for being here, Nathan! I'm so glad this resonated for you ❤️

[@mp94mp04]

Thank you Terri, could you do another video on how you can heal the mother wound?

[@terri_cole]

Thank you for the suggestion, Michaela!

[@Tashka84goyal]

I'm ready to take the journey with you to heal. I am so greatful to find you here and try my last resort. You have come to my eyes for a reason and that's to start this journey to finally create a life for myself and heal those around me especially from my mother. I felt so compelled and all of those words were screaming at me because I felt those emotions so many years and no one can understand my emotion. I thank you for finding you! and i will begin the session/class.

[@terri_cole]

I'm so glad this resonated for you and so happy you're here ❤️

[@15102030]

Hi Terri, thank you no end for your kind , compassionate but painfully truthful videos. While I was listening to you, I felt gratitude but also a rage.. and decided to share with you. But after finishing watching I realized that you created a course). That was exactly what I needed and searched for! Thank you, Terri! I am getting it!

[@dharitripaul2030]

I'm still in the process of healing because it's tough. I know my mother is simply mirroring her own mother, my grandmother, putting all negativity in herself. But I will discontinue it. I have to heal. It's time consuming but I will heal.

[@wisandjesus]

I most definitely have a big wound in my soul I know what it is. After expressing myself and letting others know I feel like im healing

[@josephsmom3373]

Please talk more about the untreated trauma of the mother and her inability to meet the emotional needs of her child. I believe that is my situation. My mother is in her 80s, I’m in 50s. My maternal grandmother was orphaned at age 5 and was separated from her siblings and placed with family. I think the trauma goes back at least that far. I doubt my mother’s emotional needs were met and she certainly didn’t meet mine. My parents both worked in the same jobs with big companies for more than 40 years. My physical needs were met. I had a series of babysitters, caretakers and friends families that looked after me after school. Never feeling safe is a large part, as you touched on. How do we communicate this to our mothers the hurt they caused? Can they even understand it if they have not healed their own emotional trauma wounds? More specific info on how to heal and find peace. Not feeling capable. Why is that? Please.

[@transitionsnc]

Re: talking about the untreated trauma of the mother and her inability to see the emotional needs of her child ~ Great suggestion. I can relate to your comment and I wish you good luck.

[@Tepee7]

This was definitely an eye opener. Thank you 😊.

[@terri_cole]

Glad it was helpful!

[@Reepicheepish]

Saw you in an interview, loved your style, listened to BB, saw the email for MW course, passed it by 3 TIMES but Universe insisted. Course is transforfrikkenmational so far. Thank you, TC.

[@terri_cole]

Wow, thank you! I'm so glad this resonated for you ❤️

[@nikiepunt8631]

Every question you adked in the beginning.. yes.

[@terri_cole]

❤️

[@sarahlang7724]

Great video as always! Before watching I did not think I had Mother wound after watching which totally worth I find out that I in fact do have Mother wound. Also would like to ask you to if possible work on a video about “trust” that is to me something that I absolutely need to work on in other to be able to feel truly free. Thank you for taking the time to make these videos. You are sweet and a beautiful soul! Gratitude

[@terri_cole]

Thank you for being here and for the suggestion! ❤️

[@michellemooney4225]

Thank u so much Terri! You are helping me a lot! Please keep continuing.

[@terri_cole]

❤️

[@donnataplin3772]

Hello Terri - love your style and your content. Thank you so much!!!

[@josephsmom3373]

So comfortable even if you’re unhappy. Bullseye. Explain more about why self sabotage and how to heal that? Is forcing yourself to take the risk the way to go? That feels like you’re abandoning yourself and not taking care of yourself. Difficult to know when to trust your gut/instinct and when push past fear. Is it fear or is it your instinct trying to protect you?

[@Starcast22]

You’re amazing. Thank you.

[@terri_cole]

Thank you for being here!

[@glenmir4ever]

Amazing discovery. Thank you so much Terri for your help. Greetings from Mexico.

[@terri_cole]

Thank you for being here, Glenda!

[@chilloften]

I love your videos Terri Cole and You. The info is always helpful. I haven’t yet been able access the lists that come with videos, I’d have to create account or download, which I never want to do that part. I do have mother wounds, she hates every fiber of my existence and I didn’t comprehend that fact until well into my 50’s. It’s so sad to my soul.

[@paulajunebakjajian643]

Hi Terri, I am reading your book, read your new letters, and now this video. Mother wound, yes I have been wondered very much so and it is my goal to heal. Just wanted you to know that I am transgender Women and while you appear to serve women, I have been relating to your work as a Trans/gnc (none gender conforming) Person. Thank you

[@terri_cole]

I'm so happy it's resonating for you Paula! Everyone can be a Boundary Boss and I'm so glad you are on the path to healing your mother wound ❤️

[@happygoluckystar8069]

Great episode Terri! Very important topic that is unfortunately very often shamed and blamed…. Thank you !! 🙏❤️ let me add that I love your new style (including make up). You look fantastic! 😻

[@HarleenMokha]

Resonated 101%. How do I heal the mother wound?

[@bostonmarathoner7281]

She has a course on her website. Link in her video.

[@MVW-g2i]

Thank you very much for this information and for all your videos, they have helped me to understand a lot of things :)

[@bostonmarathoner7281]

Bless you! 🤗

[@NM-vn6bw]

Thank you very much ...very informative...I would like to ask is there overlap between mother and father wound.? I mean in the signs .

[@lindacastillo4885]

Please add the link for the mother wound class. thank you

[@geena-g-777]

Ok I need this

[@terri_cole]

❤️

[@SylviaMarinaMartinez]

Hi Thank you for all your amazing free content . I just discovered you a couple weeks ago via Insights from the Edge one of my favorite podcasts. I was so captivated by your straight shooting style and some of the boundary topics you covered that I hadn’t heard before . I bought the audiobook boundary boss and am almost done! I really identify with this mother wound and am thinking to sign up for your course. Will it be possible to get questions answered on the coaching call? Ps love Davidji!

[@terri_cole]

So glad you signed up for the course! You'll receive all the important info 🥰 Thank you for being here and for sharing, Marina ❤️

[@SylviaMarinaMartinez]

@@terri_cole just completed my purchase! Excited!

[@kathleenangel8196]

I loved your other videos, appreciate this one too. Thank you. I am also enjoying and getting a lot out of reading Boundary Boss.

[@terri_cole]

You're so welcome!

[@Alessarn]

Hi i love your book and i was wondering if you would do audio affirmations book on Audible that can be used with the book like Louise's 101 Power Thoughts.

[@terri_cole]

Thank you for the suggestion!

[@NadinSoliman]

Hey terri, i want to do a book review in Arabic for Boundary Boss and maybe do an online intro +Q&A with you for our community, what do you think?

[@terri_cole]

Feel free to send my team an email, Nadin!

[@DarienneEmpire]

Jesus, its like you've been watching me all my life.

[@anniewang9723]

Thanks so much Teri for the amazingly insightful and compassionate video!

[@terri_cole]

So glad you found it helpful ❤️