The Acolyte - Episode 1 - I’ve Got a Bad Feeling About This…

The Acolyte has kicked off on Disney Plus. The first episode is NOT the worst abuse Disney has inflicted on the franchise, but its best ideas are undermined by sheer incompetence, while all evidence suggests this could be the show that finally kills off Star Wars as a serious franchise.
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[@sethkaicer319]

Anakin blew up the death Star and Queen Cleopatra is black, these are undisputed facts.

[@ArchangelExile]

Truth

[@pizzaman-fx3xx]

The real star wars history they don't want you to know!!

[@Joe-Przybranowski]

Hitler was Puerto Rican!

[@pizzaman-fx3xx]

@@Joe-Przybranowski true

[@cjyoung4080]

@@Joe-Przybranowski He was Japanese. The mustache dont lie

[@GreatUSTreasureHunt]

"Wanna watch a 35-minute Star Wars show?" "Not a chance in hell." "How about an hour and a half Little Platoon dis video of that same show?" "Hit the Play button."

[@thor3279]

IKR!!!!???? and everytime he says "Occupational Health and Safety Administration" it gets cumulatively funnier. a dedicated tireless and thorough commitment to craft :)

[@qwqwqwqw99]

I now have extensive knowledge about shows I'd rather die than watch. Thanks Platoon.

[@thatsruffdog]

True! I already watched 3 or 4 reviews but Star Wars Theory said “listen to what everyone has to say on both sides.” And I took that to heart. Unfortunately, there aren’t a lot of people who can say anything that they like about this show but why not watch anyone who’s willing to say anything about it? Even if it’s an hour long.

[@victoriuswashington8901]

Preach. 😂 right along with critical drinker and rest of the OGs 😂

[@What_do_I_Think]

Yea, in my youth I had fun watching tv shows. Today I have more fun watching commenting videos about tv shows than watching those shows themselves.

[@maximusolivia9982]

Saying the acolyte is “safe for black people” Has got to be one of the most demeaning things one can say about black people.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

I don’t even know what it’s supposed to mean!

[@freakyboo4811]

At this point in time, it's such an unoriginal thing to say it will only induce yawns rather than excitement. Disney must have a death wish at this stage of the game, they've been engaging in these failed behaviours so long.

[@ivanthemadvandal8435]

​@@TheLittlePlatoon it means that there are no fathers in it.

[@marychocolatefairy]

lol. What about the OT was "unsafe" for black people? Lando was extremely beloved. ALSO, people that say the "unsafe" kind of comments probably don't know (since they evidently don't know a lot about SW) that Darth Vader was very popular with "the black community". He was voiced by JEJ and wore all black, and beat up a lot of white people, so many took him as an honorary black man.

[@Cityweaver]

​@@TheLittlePlatoon I believe this is a signal to the kinds of Black people who are offended by shows like Steven Universe, a cartoon which features a Strong Black Leader Woman (Garnet) and a Combative Black Renegade Woman (Bismuth). Which means the most masculine and explosive women are always the Black ones. See, Disney decided that making not one but TWO shows featuring masculine, angry Black women fighting against the Designated Good Guys of the franchise for perceived slights makes sense, because... I guess they think doubling-down on stereotypes reclaims them, or something. 😅

[@julietdelta9]

The part I never got was they thought she killed a jedi master, so they sent a brand new knight and a padawan.

[@swa7169]

One of these days we're going to find out that Disney is a giant money laundering operation and people in the future will say "well, duh, you really thought they spent $180M on a show like this? Just LOOK at it!"

[@LSB001]

Isn't it? I'm pretty sure that all these diversity quotas were invented by the corps, who pay the politicians to create excuses for massive tax breaks. The idiots making this slop think they're fighting a culture war, when really they're just enriching the same elites who hate them.

[@OneRedKraken]

It would make a nice story. But I'd go with Hanlon's razer on this one. On the topic of stupidity. I seriously think the larger a company gets the more stupid the decisions become. It reaches a critical mass and then all bets are off.

[@tokisugar]

​@@OneRedKraken I think that's only natural, as businesses grow and more people enter the mix it's a lot harder to keep things focused and of high quality. More pressure to increase profit + less organisation is a deadly combo, especially when the execs and shareholders get involved, at that point there's no end to the chase for profit.

[@greebj]

I'm convinced by now that only a massive campaign of disney execs all shorting their own stock can explain it.

[@henkhenkste6076]

they dont care about money

[@nunyabiznes7446]

"A jedi only draws their lightsaber if they're prepared to kill." Every jedi ever when confronted with a dark environment: "Time for murder"

[@bcmm1880]

The younglings in episode 2 seeing Yoda

[@Skuffdy]

I show you, Luke aboard the Falcon, training. Who's next? Han? Leia? Chewie? Actually, no, Chewie was already jabaited out of death in "episode" 9.

[@blackscorpionstinger]

“Oh this is their way 1 hundred million years ago”

[@haku8135]

That doesn't even work for like "If a fight starts a Jedi ONLY draws their lightsaber if prepared to KILL!" Literally the first conflict we see including a lightsaber is Obi Wan, THE Jedi Master, ignites his saber and cuts off a guy's hand, nobody dies. It doesn't even work in THIS SHOW, because Trinity ignites HER lightsaber to block the throwing knives, then she immediately puts it away! Now the writers are retarded, but if they weren't, they could just have Trinity force grip Black Assassin and pin her against a wall, and voila, she ignited her lightsaber in a fight and nobody died. For fuck's sake, Anakin is FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE, cuts off Dooku's arms, and then after killing him he says that was NOT the Jedi way, he should not have killed Dooku according to Jedi code. It's pretty standard practice for Jedi to disable over kill whenever it's safe to do so. Even if you really stretch it to "A Jedi doesn't ignite their lightsaber while in battle with someone unless they accept that it's possible they'll have no choice but to kill said opponent." In that case, the line is retarded for a WHOLE other reason, and I won't demean your intelligence by explaining why that's stupid. On top of that, Trinity puts her lightsaber AWAY after that line, so what the actual fuck!?

[@davexsixtyfour1246]

I think that was a Samurai thing about fully drawing your blade when you were prepared to kill

[@Blindstoic]

This show cost more than DUNE 2! Correction, Dune 2 was 190 million and The Acolyte was 180 million.

[@Arko777777]

And 18 times more than Godzilla Minus One 😮

[@knightmare_edits]

What? 😂 This is laughable.

[@Blindstoic]

@@knightmare_edits for real for real.

[@aithjawcraig9876]

That's why I'm almost convinced it's a money-laundering thing. There is no way in hell those funds found its way on screen

[@iivin4233]

​@@aithjawcraig9876It could be creative accounting, or simple budget creep, or both: A bit of concealing money (loss or profit), a bit of cast, crew and management getting used to grande Starbucks orders and finding it hard to switch back to Bills Bitterbeans to save money when crunch time comes.

[@jcore0981]

"Don't trust your eyes. They deceive you." "I WATCHED her die." Brilliant 10/10

[@TheNoonish]

Wait until this guy, who says not to trust your eyes, is foiled by someone throwing dust in his face so he can't see.

[@TheFABIOCOOL]

He really said "Occupational Safety and Health Administration" for half an hour, I CANT, this shit's too funny

[@Mqmn]

You an interesting creature bro

[@countof3everybodyOD]

That type of commitment to the bit is exceedingly rare and quite commendable

[@bradleyscottt1773]

They felt that, " A Jedi doesn't draw her weapon unless she intends to kill, needs a torch, or wants to look cool." Was just too clunky.

[@TheNoonish]

Or hears a loud noise.

[@sprinkle61]

or wants to let a child play with it - Episode 3

[@Violaphobia]

They wrote this… in an episode where a Sith lights up his saber to intimidate to fourth wall 🤦‍♂️

[@julienbocquet7732]

From "The Force is Female" to "Incompetence is female" real quick.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Didn’t you just write “the force is incompetent” twice?

[@GH-ub7qz]

its incompetent story telling, but they succeeded in presenting their world view, so to them its a payday and a win

[@spurgear]

Based

[@DuplexWeevil337]

​@@TheLittlePlatoon damn 🔥

[@weswolever7477]

I believe the Farce is Female would also be applicable in this case

[@Nexus_Hives]

Beginning of the end? It's already ended. They are just puppeting a corpse.

[@noctyd9322]

"Stoppppp stoppppp! He's already deaaaaaad!" 😭

[@IstariAzul777]

Bidenomics!!

[@iivin4233]

It's a real Achilles drags Hector behind his chariot moment. Even the famously tolerant Myrmidon warriors were like, "Alright bud. That's a bit much."

[@TheDetectiveEngineer]

I reckon the statement may be applied to the show itself; as the intrigue you might have to watch the show is killed in the first episode

[@cedricroney1475]

Weekend at Bernie's.

[@fionnaitsradag5152]

Lightsaber to the gut: Not deadly. Thrown pen knife: Deadly!

[@randomperson-up5vt]

It's not that long of a throwing knife even

[@blackscorpionstinger]

Trinity probably doesn’t have enough fat padding on her chest, unlike Sidney Sweeney though…..

[@haku8135]

@@randomperson-up5vt She didn't pull it out either. With the super advanced medical technology of Star Wars and FUCKING FORCE HEALING, they could absolutely patch that up. This would have been a good time to establish this ASSASSIN'S trademark being a very unusual poison, that is super dangerous but nobody recognizes, and is potent enough to even drop a Jedi Master in mere moments. Of course that wouldn't do fuck all to make this shit heap even passable, but uh...... Yeah no, I've got nothing else to add to that.

[@bathtub_marmot]

There's a 'Murder She Wrote' episode from my childhood stuck in my mind where someone died by being stabbed in the heart with a house key. Hey, if it made sense to people on their 4th glass of brandy in the 1980's... why not?

[@alexmuenster2102]

@@haku8135 >>good time to establish this ASSASSIN'S trademark being a very unusual poison

[@PelemusMcSoy]

"Nerds are gay!" "But some nerds aren't gay and they feel threatened by it!" Gosh, isn't this the same group of people that say any marginalized group feels threatened by something that isn't them?

[@sarahb.7175]

I'm an asexual nerd. I feel excluded and erased. I demand restitution.

[@dunno.__.]

as a lesbian, i have no fucking clue what any of what she said even ment so ig we are shit out of luck

[@dunno.__.]

@@sarahb.7175 SAME LMAO

[@GothLady1987]

OG S.W. nerds: "we do not claim them."

[@Synthetic94]

69th like

[@jacklawsen6390]

I honestly never expected to watch a video about a character named "Occupational Safety and Health Administration".

[@ArwenUndomiel406]

„I think you’re all gay too. BUT SO AM I. And it say it with a nicer accent.“ - The little Platoon.

[@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access]

Scanning…scanning…no lie detected

[@matthewcollins4773]

The Little Platoon lives in a dream; a dream he thinks we all share. A dream that writing can be competent, thoughtful, and worth our time. But the Acolyte... the Acolyte kills the dream. *Ignites sabre*

[@Enigma75614]

That’s actually so fire. This needs to be pinned.

[@Arko777777]

"If you attack a script with an argument, you will fail. Video essays and logical breakdown of the events are no threat to it!" - Smilo Ren.

[@jeggsonvohees2201]

As does Godzilla X Kong.

[@rangerone8813]

Had a similar thought, but in my version zipperface was really Headland saying “The fans live in a dream … the Acolyte will kill the dream.”

[@buzzfeedteal4775]

Saber

[@robonator2945]

Damn, he literally learned an entire fucking language just to act in The Acolyte. I don't know whether to complement the dedication or mourn it as a minor tragedy.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

I’d go with both! Dedication and talent, but cursed to live in a timeline where this is what Star Wars is now.

[@alexmuenster2102]

As "Adrian Monk" would have said: "It's a gift... and a curse."

[@Oh-Ben]

At least he tried, unlike the scene with the 2 jedi talking to the main character.

[@tgiacin435]

Personally, i wouldn’t care what project i was in if i got to be in Star Wars. However, depending on how I felt about the script would influence if I would be serious, or chew the scenery.

[@SunchaserKandri]

He definitely deserves credit for the dedication. It's just a shame that effort went toward such a dumpster fire.

[@Randomcorpse]

Carrie-Ann Moss as a jedi is a such a strong selling point and Disney is like: "I have the goose that lays the golden eggs! Who wants to eat roast goose?"

[@Lampoluke]

They bought a goose that lays golden eggs and immediately set her on fire before she could lay an egg.

[@Violaphobia]

Basically how they’ve treated the entire franchise. I have think if they bought the rights and done nothing with it, their SW hotel would probably still be in business

[@DizzykiwiNZ]

When your actors brag about being fans but clearly have never viewed the movies

[@kaykutcher2103]

I wish to see their shocked faces when they find out Star Wars has movies.

[@DizzykiwiNZ]

@@kaykutcher2103 the way they talk you'd think it was just some book they'd never read

[@markiangooley]

Why not be honest? I have never seen any entire Star Wars movie. I’ve seen more of the Star Wars Holiday Special than of any one movie or television series show, but not all of it. If I were an actor cast in a new Star Wars show, I would admit all that! Why wouldn’t I?

[@sianais]

​@@markiangooleyBecause it'll invalidate their narcissistic claim to it. Rachel Zegler did the same with Snow White. They have to, to be liked. Or to damn anyone who disliked them by claiming their adoration (albeit a non-existent one) is just as valid. It's sociopathic, honestly. The girl from Fallout is the literal opposite. Being a normal thinking human, she admitted she delved into the game after getting cast in the show.

[@jaded5957]

Disney are literally trolling the fans at this point. What a bizarre way to run/ruin a billion-dollar company.

[@-taz-]

That was always their goal, to destroy whatever gives regular people hope and inspiration. Yuri Bezmenov - How To Demoralize a Nation.

[@thomasjefferson2676]

Have you seen the hordes of morons and their families that give Disney thousands of dollars a day each at their parks they could not care less about the things we love.

[@Sarcasmses]

Disney is an _80_ Billion dollars a year company, they aren't going to be ruined by Gay Star Wars. They will be fine.

[@KomarBrolan]

It does seem that this series and the fandom assassination linked to it is a deliberate provocation. Essentially saying this is the way it is, the way it is going to be in the future, so shut up now.

[@InternetStudiesGuy]

I feel weird about defending a multi billion dollar company, but I think they just put these spiteful, talentless women in charge because the boomers that actually run the company were told that they need to put women in charge of things because women are much better at everything. And now, the boomers are looking at what the spiteful women are doing but they can't fire them because they promised more "Women in charge" to their shareholders. If they tried, they'd get metood into oblivion. At this point you have to let this keep going until everyone realizes that "Women in charge" means "Everything is destroyed" and society as a whole finally decides that women should be prevented by law from "being in charge", or to vote, or to have any rights really, and have only one societal job that they've not been doing and must be forced to do again.

[@smallcd]

"Mae is dead. I saw her die." "Mae is alive." "I believe you." $180 million budget, folks.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

The only *slight* defense of that line is that I think his lingering, troubled look after the ship dialogue is supposed to convey he’s relating a story he doesn’t quite believe in, or maybe knows to be false. But as presented, yeah, it looks and sounds incredibly dumb.

[@brockdavid]

“It’s gonna be Mae….!” Haha!

[@bathtub_marmot]

You forgot, "Hey you seem chill for an alleged murderer. Would you like to lead the Jedi?"

[@ppsarrakis]

@@TheLittlePlatoon they tried to be meta and break the soap opera trope but stumbled upon the way.

[@hans-petereisele7949]

@@TheLittlePlatoon One could argue that this scene is the reason for Squid Game's "close your eyes; your eyes can deceive you" scene with the younglings, to then go on stating that he himself "saw Mae die", to then apply his own teachings and not rule out he his eyes deceived him. But of course, the script is so bad that it doesn't properly connect its own scenes, and evidently no one told the editor (who was on meds anyway, given the "pacing" of the whole thing).

[@silverscorpio24]

The real Acolytes were the personal assistants we met along the way.

[@mattmurphy7030]

PA: Primary Accomplice

[@josephbassey1501]

Which episode does Harvey Weinstein come in as the Sith

[@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access]

@@josephbassey1501 He doesn’t. He becomes Jaba the Hutt.

[@Matthew10950]

God damn, that's funny!

[@jesustyronechrist2330]

The real Acolytes were the nepotism we gained along the way.

[@joeblount7156]

Just got to the section where you say you can't imagine what it would be like to watch this with no fore-knowledge going in: Not knowing anything about this show before going in, I assumed that Osha was the assassin when we met her. And then when she had her PTSD moment in the space campfire, I wondered if we were doing a sort of sleeper agent thing where it *was* her but she had no memory of it (which would also explain why she denied the charge after) Then I was utterly flabbergasted that we were actually, in the year of our lord 2024, unironically pulling "It wasn't me, it was my evil twin".

[@bertimusprime7900]

"Pub crawl on Nar Shadaa." Look, we know star wars things! Never mind that it's a moon of Nal Hutta, which means they are in Hutt space, and therefore, the jedi have no jurisdiction as peace keepers of the republic.

[@itswilbur3747]

Disney on acquiring Marvel and Star Wars. "We've bought these geese that lay Golden Eggs... I wonder what the meat tastes like?"🤔

[@RacingSnails64]

That's a really good analogy actually.

[@alleycatcannabis]

Perfect analogy

[@no.1spidey-fan182]

No joke....you should seriously trademark this🙏. Perfect analogy for getting way too big for your britches and no it all attitudes

[@nathanjora7627]

More like « I wonder what the beak tastes like »

[@briandain8432]

I want to say that a Little Platoon reads the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has got to happen now. His voice is PERFECT.

[@Trapsarentgay133]

Space is big

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Somebody fetch my agent!

[@thesardoniccomedian9546]

Would be a great project.

[@GaudiaCertaminisGaming]

Good point. It would be ideal. Make it so…somebody.

[@anthonykeane4984]

I'd buy that

[@RichiRichi]

This is the best part from these new Disney Star Wars series...How The Little Platoon is demolishing them.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

It’s fun to do! I’d still rather have a great Star Wars show, but we’ll make do.

[@RichiRichi]

True.🤔

[@vla1ne]

So let me get this straight (or gay). So several people in the order knew she had a sister (lets assume they didn't know she has a twin), they assume she's dead, and they then hear a story about a force user who looks suspiciously like her, _and_ know that she was likely on the other side of the galaxy at the time. How do they not at *_least_* look into that angle from the jump?

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Because that would require thought and intelligence, neither of which are allowed.

[@shemyaza8934]

Both Osha and OSHA force themselves into my space and make a bunch of negative changes that nobody wanted, needed or asked for. So the name fits.

[@herrsiemes7094]

What does a Jedi Killer need in 2024? -A few daggers of off Amazon and some rags. What did a Jedi killer need in 1990? -Armor made out of Beskar, a Jetpack, EE-3 Blaster rifle, dual blaster pistols, retractable wrist blades, Snare wires, Z-X Flame-thrower, MM-9 wrist rocket, Rocket Dart Launcher, electric Fibercord whip, Backpack missile 💀💀💀

[@RebellionInHell]

Old Republic was based.

[@Vladislav888]

> What does a Jedi Killer need in 2024? Keyboard

[@Dazgul]

It does feel like a role-playing scenario that didn't take long to write. Some of the dialogue also sounds like it was taken from a session. Game master: 'What do you want to do?' Player1:'Secure the perimeter...' Player2: Or we could ignore that and she could talk to her. ' Player1 Rolls his eyes and sighs.

[@alexmuenster2102]

Also needs: Crawly insects / slugs that can sneak into Amygdala's bedroom (okay, she's not a Jedi, but still - she is being guarded by Jedi).

[@lobaoguara2332]

We went from needing other Jedi (inquisitors) to kill Jedi to "okay, we don't need to try very hard to kill a Jedi Master"... Seriously, do you remember when they said that Jedi were equivalent to a thousand Geonosians? Nowadays, they're not even worth 10.

[@therealPingTing]

What a strange time we live in. If I had told my 6-year-old me, that one day, I will enjoy it more to listen to people criticizing Star Wars, than watching the thing itself, he would think I had totally lost my mind.

[@nunchuckfilms]

I am waiting for the next 5 hours of Mauler

[@daddyrabbit835]

I watched the first one at a drive thru in 1977, I shit you not. I was 7 and it changed my life / expanded my imagination . What a kick in the junk this is. This woke thing ruins everything.

[@Blackdeathgaming-yv1kk]

​@@daddyrabbit835wokeness isnt the only problem, it's a severe lack of passion and understanding of star wars itself.

[@kristenasskickin]

@@nunchuckfilms 5 months later. Still waiting 😂😢😭

[@Walter-fc3uq]

DM: you meet in a tavern Rouge: I start fighting the paladin's drinking buddies.

[@JohnDoe-vm5rb]

How is makeup fighting people, is it a mimic?

[@Hepburner]

@@JohnDoe-vm5rb Very good :)

[@jroggs85]

​@@JohnDoe-vm5rbHe probably walked into the bar and immediately saw red.

[@autobotstarscream765]

DM: "You find a poor starving helpless little orphan girl crying in the street." Wizard: "I cast Thunder Spell!"⚡️

[@jmace2424]

How the lines should have gone: “Attack me with all your wits.” “Jedi do not attack the unarmed.” 🤣

[@JoFa876]

"Come at me, bro!", would have been shorter.

[@chickenpermission3594]

O.S.H.A: Fanny Mae is alive! Squiddy G: source O.S.H.A: It was revealed to me in a dream sequence Squiddy G: Based

[@hellboundchaoscommand7567]

7:48 “Anakin blowing up the Death Star” Ah yes the sign of a true Star Wars fan. Forgetting which fucking Skywalker was in which trilogy.

[@paulmurgatroyd6372]

It doesn't matter to them at all, the old stories will be obfuscated and overwritten anyway. God bless Disney eh.

[@Jasper_Silva]

Yeah it was clearly Rey Skywalker who blew up the Death Star. And everyone clapped!

[@alan133]

The guy who blew up death star comes from Anakins ballsacks so its technically correct

[@hellboundchaoscommand7567]

@@alan133 … your kidding right?

[@darthgamer9861]

like….how does anyone get Anakin and Luke mixed up?

[@adamisajoker]

Twins who are completely unaware of the others' existence. They have the exact same hair style.

[@olafgurke4699]

Funnily enough, that is the most realistic part of this entire script.

[@jacquelineking5783]

It could also be easily explained. One or both of their mothers wore the hairstyle so they both wear it to honor them. Hell it could be the style that their force cult coven wore and they continue wearing it again to honor the memory.

[@olafgurke4699]

@@jacquelineking5783 Those are neat ideas. Unfortunately, these writers seem allergic to neat ideas, so it most likely will be something else. In fact, we can expect to get no reason at all.

[@marychocolatefairy]

@@olafgurke4699 Except it's the kind of hairdo that they would have needed help making. And they also somehow got the exact same dye, and did the exact same uneven mistakes.

[@olafgurke4699]

@@marychocolatefairy Good points. So, like with everything else in the show, the idea is decent, but the execution flawed at best.

[@lintzy398]

“Beginning of the end?” The most rhetorical of rhetorical questions there ever was 😂

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

I’m probably going to get annoyed and change it, but it’s the only thing that came to mind after working on this for 12 straight hours and getting to bed at 8am. Proof Disney Star Wars just kills creativity.

[@Arko777777]

​@@TheLittlePlatoonRest well LP. I was exhausted just taking notes on the 1st episode. So much tism, I'm glad you "attacked the script with all your strenght" ;)

[@jeggsonvohees2201]

​@@TheLittlePlatoonGood thing you're a night owl.

[@lintzy398]

@TheLittlePlatoon Let me respond by quoting you: “that’s what the whiskey is for-to shag the unshaggable, and to watch the unwatchable.” Or, in this case, to muster up the creativity needed to review the unreviewable. You should put your own quotes on a shot glass or something. I’d be the first in line to buy some. Keep up the great work 👍

[@StraightUp_Mikey]

Hey Platoon, you absolutely nailed it with the clip of Ezra friendzoneing what’s her face and then cutting to Homer flipping it off. That was my exact experience.

[@Adorni]

12:25 “Because - unlike some _other_ Star Wars media critics - _I_ can speak with an English accent!”

[@MeetMeAtCafeBatavia]

I understood that reference 😁

[@marsoelflaco5722]

Clever.🎯

[@davecolumbo]

Also amazing that Sol is introduced teaching younglings you cant always trust your eyes, but also seems to firmly assume Mae is dead because he 'watched her die"

[@PrimerCinePodcast]

I was also so frustrated about how superficial his lines about the force are in that class scene. Painfully lazy

[@GideonRavenor712]

Or that some ninja-sand blast trick to obscure vision would do anything to hinder a Jedi's ability to stop you because they do not need eyes to notice another Force Sensitive.

[@TheNoonish]

And in episode two, he's confounded because May throws up a big cloud of dust and he can't see her. Apparently this guy really does trust his eyes.

[@verindictus3639]

If the showrunners were at all decent storytellers, it could be a setup for a Jedi Master having to relearn wisdom he's taken for granted, but I think I've already put more thought into this than all of the showrunners combined.

[@steveswm7742]

It's dead. It's dead, Jim.

[@kaelkirkby9191]

They're dead Dave, everybody's dead Dave.

[@starkiller1289]

Aunt Rudy everybody's dead.

[@f1jones544]

Damnit Jim, I'm a lesbian, not a competent screenwriter!

[@thesardoniccomedian9546]

@kaelkirkby9191 Thank you!! An under-rated classic and far better than anything they could hope to make today.

[@zahrans]

@@kaelkirkby9191 End the stream, Dave! End the stream.

[@Scappo]

I love how you stick with the "Occupational Safety and Health Administration" gag the whole damn time XD...well done for padding your video in a passive, funny way !

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

I came *so close* to dropping it several times but eventually it started tripping off the tongue, so it’ll probably stick now!

[@bathtub_marmot]

@@TheLittlePlatoon Been calling her Roo this whole time. IMHO Hunger Games is the best Rifftrax, so probably time for a re-watch

[@dizzpenzerr5367]

"There is no predominantly evil character in Star Wars. If you put yourself in their shoes you'll see they have their own reasons." Palpatine after committing multiple atrocities in order to rise to power: I did it because of my poor upbringing!

[@autobotstarscream765]

Also Palpatine: "Mmm, innocent babies!"

[@SavedByFaith9981]

“I want to be free” “To do what?” “To wield my power how I want” Hmmmmm seems a bit objectively evil especially on the delivery -.- Like let’s look at one of the best villains ever. Frieza. Why ? because he is 100% okay with being evil. That makes his character work. He has been spoiled his whole life with power and wealth. And he is evil. He likes being evil. No bad upbringing. Just evil. Even more evil than his dad. An objective good and bad are what make a show. Pushing the objective line with a character is good as well. Like a bad guy being torn between good or evil. Or vice versa. But it has to be for a reason. Unlike the acolyte. Or Kylo ren. A great example you ask ? Uhhh Anakin. Eren Yeager. Gaara. I’m sure MOST beloved character go through some change or development. Because if not they’re kinda teetering on the lines of being a Mary sue. Palpatine is also a perfect example of an evil character who just values evil and power. Really like many have said this show is a peak in the mind of the producer. Who was the Ghislaine Maxwell to Harvey’s Epstein. Another predator who has blackmail on people and is given jobs to keep silent while having NO talent or prerequisites.

[@rhett5058]

All I had was loving parents, a mansion to grow up in, and a senate seat to inherit.

[@batmanstrike8287]

About the whole "a jedi only uses a lightsaber to kill" thing. Theyre clearly forgetting about practical applications of a lightsaber, like Qui-Gon using it to cut through a door. A lightsaber is more than just a weapon

[@hughallison4639]

You can't forget something you didn't already know.......

[@SavedByFaith9981]

Qui-gon in the books used to tell obi wan all the time that his saber is a tool more than a weapon. A symbol more than a weapon. But people who don’t know the series will never go and read it. Headlamp herself even says that she lied her way to the top and then went to say “it’s fine all men get to the top this way!”

[@VermillionLotus96]

I love that the KOTOR clips you play are always the most compelling pieces of Star Wars content in the video.

[@Whatever-mq7vy]

The running gag "Occupational Safety and Health Administration" is just great.

[@diamondinmyeye6160]

It's so silly that I chuckled every time.

[@DarthWamp]

@@diamondinmyeye6160 Same, lol

[@robg1151]

Somehow it never got old lol

[@propichovac7818]

+1

[@tanswork2025]

“There is no good and evil, there is only Power” Lord Voldemort

[@Lemon_Inspector]

"There is no such thing as good and evil. We're not so different, you and I." - Clearly Evil Antagonist who's nothing like the protagonist in any way

[@Matthew10950]

'Good? Bad? I'm the one with the gun.' Ghandi

[@DangerZone200]

this quote is perfect for activists like that moron nowadays "He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee" - Friedrich Nietzsche

[@scottski02]

​@@Matthew10950 I'm the one with the *nukes

[@RacingSnails64]

Yeah, anyone who says a sentiment like that is clearly the evil one in almost any scenario I can think of.

[@bjdzyak]

If I wrote a screenplay this poorly, they'd strip me of my ability to write anything ever again, including text messages. Surely, in a world full of real Star Wars fans who know the story and can write a coherent plot, Lucasfilm could have found anyone of them to write and direct this.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

You would think! But they evidently have other selection criteria. Talent is so old fashioned.

[@user-zq6sz2cr6g]

Phone screen warning: 'You have been banned from using this keyboard. Please select the voice-call option instead'. 🤣

[@Hating_Friends]

They'd take your writing away like aang vs ozai

[@wraithneon]

Even if you were to get that gig and write an amazing SW story, would you really want to subject yourself to their criticisms? 'Erm, where are the gay people?' 'These two here, can't they be in a queer relationship. Let's put that in.' 'Nice touches with the aliens but we need more asians/blacks/etc on screen.' 'Your second character was a white male? Nope, get rid of him. The story won't make sense without him? Still get rid of him! Change him into a black lesbian instead.' How soul destroying would that be?!! Better to let them carry on with loss after loss. Eventually the shareholders will revolt and clean house... whether that'll be in time to save the company though is anyone's guess.

[@tamd5670]

@@wraithneonrace literally doesn’t matter. The writing is just ass. You crying about the race specifically is a massive self report

[@hexPixelStarships]

Master Trinity: I cannot use my lightsaber unless I've decided to kill. Obiwan in a bar at Coruscant: Hold my deathstick.

[@justforever96]

That's not exactly what she said. She said _prepared_ to kill. That's not the same as _intent_ to kill. Basically it means that if you aren't ready to actually end a life _if necessary_ , don't take it out at all. Stolen from gun culture, where it is a totally true statement. First because you should never draw a gun unless it's a life threatening situation, second because if you aren't prepared to actually use it, you risk having them disarm you and use it against you. If you aren't prepared to end a life, then find some other means to defend yourself. None of that means you absolutely must kill if you draw it, it's not a kukri that needs to taste blood if drawn (a myth anyway). It doesn't even preclude drawing it just because the situation is potentially threatening, not if you are _prepared_ to use it if a threat materializes. It's kind of silly though, because why would a trained Jedi not be prepared to use their weapon if necessary? They aren't silly middle aged lawyers well bought a .380 thinking they will just point it and scare the bad guys away but aren't ready to actually shoot anyone.

[@proff_musa]

I bailed 15 minutes into the first 40 minute episode to come watch 3 hours of Platoon tearing it apart.

[@josephsalmonte4995]

You're a male who STILL went to watch a product made by those who hate you & have insulted you for years? What a fucking simp!

[@Ramsey276one]

Smart move

[@Jordan-nr7vr]

to be fair a full 18min of that is him repeating "occupational health and safety administration" 😂

[@koLdZ1]

As it should be

[@bathtub_marmot]

You can still pick it up in the next episode. Good Twin knows the Jedi from before. There ya go, you're all caught up!

[@SPACE_BOOOOOST]

SWTOR's 'Sacrifice' cinematic delivers a vastly superior twin force users story in 4 minutes without the twins having to say a single word. 180 million my ass, this is a money laundering scheme.

[@markwhiteside7618]

Yeah it's likely it cost 2 mil, then a few mil for paying the cast then the rest is spread between going into lesley's pocket and paying her wife lol

[@sixter4157]

I had completely forgotten about that trailer. The hundreds of happy hours I spent in that game. Good memories with good people.

[@alltheworldsastage.]

Where do u think the nazi and nasa are going to do with all that money. Create a fake ww3 scenario then create a stage alien attack

[@duncanlutz3698]

Say what you will about SWTOR... but GYAT DAYUM the trailers were straight fire. Every last one. Each scene is packed with so much little detail that all adds up to a masterclass in visual storytelling. BRB, going to go watch through them again and weep, for the minds behind those short trailers will never be allowed to make a single movie, trilogy, or show.

[@MatteBlack99]

Exactly what I was thinking

[@TheDarq0n]

imagine hiring your own wife to play on your own show, instead of giving us Yoda

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

I for one am very glad they forgot about Yoda. It’s either that or she *is* Yoda and just aged horribly.

[@badghosttv]

@@TheLittlePlatoon Yoda would be a made into a weak little stupid man, who would always be wrong because strong powerful females are right, it would of made a great dumpster fire for sure, almost wish they did it, but even these idiots know when too far is too far

[@Arko777777]

Her wife looks like Yoda's mother-in-law

[@MegaSpideyman]

​@@TheLittlePlatoon😂

[@Subzerobyrd]

Im glad they didn’t use Yoda it would’ve just hurt his character

[@PsychotoasterProd]

58:52 - Naw, Green Woman is not using the force to open doors. Much like how I do, she's only pretending as she approaches the door sensor that opens the door for her.

[@randymarsh27]

HK-47 in here spitting facts I remember playing kotor and meeting Hk and thinking wtf is up with this droid haha

[@Shino2288]

Don't forget... the total budget for The Acolyte can produce 15 Godzilla Minus One.

[@GH-ub7qz]

or fix huge swaths of urban decay...or rural decay

[@paulmurgatroyd6372]

Not under Disney it couldn't, not in 100 attempts.

[@underthepale]

This is the metric we should use from now on.

[@ilfirinms]

It's plain and simple money laundering. Amazon is doing it too with Rings Of Power.

[@Jasper_Silva]

So 14 Godzilla?

[@TheRealJabbergeist]

"Welcome to the jedi temple, let me introduce everybody. This is our Korean jedi, Master Seoul. Then we have our Russian jedi, Master Moscow, our American jedi, Master Washington DC, and our Mexican jedi, Master Mexico City."

[@TonyMidyett]

Wait....you want all Jedi to be American?

[@warcheef]

I thought Leslye Headland reminded me of someone but I couldn't figure out who until it suddenly hit me - holy shit, it's like that corporate assistant character from "The Boys" (Ashley Barrett) leaped off the screen and became a director! She talks like her, she acts like her, she lies and virtue signals like her, she even kind of looks like her, and she is Weinstein's former personal assistant too?! What the hell, this is way too funny.

[@jamesday1295]

Yes. Someone else. I've been watching Gen V today, and I can't unsee it.

[@DeetotheDubs]

I never would have made that connection; I feel at least some inkling of sympathy for Ashley being in a crap job for fear of what a powerful man might... oh. Good call.

[@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access]

Ho. Lee. Phuck. That’s it, you put it in words She gives “I’m not strong enough to commit evil, but I’m damn sure gonna help it” vibes

[@VelvetYeti]

Does that make Kathleen Kennedy, Homelander??

[@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access]

@@VelvetYeti Bahahaha she wishes

[@xel1673]

If they wanted to try to maintain the mystery of Mae and Osha and really throw into question Osha's mental state, they could have had Osha struggling with trauma and mental health. She could have been deeply traumatized from whatever happened in her past. Sol could have brought her to train as a Jedi and use his "mind-easing" ability he uses on the crazy guy to help calm Osha as a child. However, Osha's struggles are too much to overcome for her and Sol, and the Jedi deem it too risky to continue her path as a padawan. So Sol helps her out, finding her a place to stay and study for a normal career. As well as help her with her mental health, kind of making it that Sol is as close to her as a family member. However, Osha suddenly vanishes one day from the education facility that he left her at and he isn't able to reestablish contact. In the future, Osha has gone off to be independent and travel the galaxy. So a bit of a transient lifestyle, acting as a jack-of-all-trades (master of nothing), living from paycheck to paycheck and exploring, perhaps trying to find herself and achieve personal peace. However, her her mental health continues to trouble her. At times she is challenged by hallucinations and blackouts, as well as flashbacks that trouble her sleep and even during the day when she lets her mind wander/weaken. So it all leaves the audience finding Osha to be rather suspicious and question her words and actions. The dreamstate of Osha meeting Mae and hearing her sister is alive could, once again, be unreliable and make the audience wonder if its true, or Osha is imagining it. Or if Osha has a split-personality that thinks she is her actually dead twin sister. It's at least something to maintain the mystery for a while longer. Plus it would give Osha more character and more of a character arc as she sorts through her past to find the peace of mind she wants. But that would be work and requiring of someone with imagination. All these people who are writing this show have are concepts they liked in other shows/movies and no clue how to flesh them out and integrate them into a narrative. They get ideas and then drop them later because they took no effort to think about them or question if they should even be in the story at all.

[@PersonallyPerhaps]

Dam that’s a thought good

[@celticbeauty26]

Mr. Little Platoon, can I just say not only do you have a mellifluous voice but also have some of the most intellectual takes I have heard. The editing in your video and the video production itself is top drawer. Thank you, good sir, for taking the time out of your day to bless us with these entertaining videos.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Most kind, thank you!

[@ivanthemadvandal8435]

So they think that she killed a Jedi Master so they sent a relatively new Jedi Knight and Padawan to arrest her, then put her on a driod prison ship, BRILLIANT, WHAT COULD GO WRONG.

[@billjacobs521]

Yup. And does that knight not have his own apprentice? Why would you send off a Padawan without their master but another knight? There's just no effort here.

[@neodigremo]

@@billjacobs521 I am pretty sure she is meant to be his Padawan

[@sprinkle61]

A droid ship with all of one guard, and full of other prisoners looking to escape.

[@NegaBot]

Green - Consular (politician and diplomat) Blue - Guardian (fighter, bodyguard and defender) Yellow - Sentinel (down to earth, working with the common man, jedi with actual real life skills were usually here, like investigators, mechanics, hackers etc) Purple - Mace motherfucking Windu Of course those were merely the default order colors, and many Knights and Masters changed the color to one they more preferred. At least that was when we had decades of books, stories, games and all other kinds of lore. When things made by hundreds of creators somehow were more structured, organized and most importantly, made sense. Before Disney.

[@barrybend7189]

You are forgetting one more. Silver the color of Meetra Surik the rebuilder of the Jedi Order.

[@Skuffdy]

@@barrybend7189 Red - Evil. You never specified that they were jedi, at least in the present.

[@shinobi-no-bueno]

Jedi mechanics?

[@LiteDnBFnatic]

Old canon pointed out Purple were used by force users who skimmed the line between light and dark but never going fully over. It changed by the Old Republic MMO to mostly be a sith color by those who mirrored consulars (makes sense thematically because green and purple are near opposite colors). Still, purple can symbolize a force user that COULD the other side of the force and rein it back in. The Jedi who could do so were EXTREMELY frightening because they essentially had no limits. Ex. Mace Windu force crushing Grievous lungs in the clone wars. Orange was and is a particular color but from what I remember from old canon, it symbolized someone adept in combat and specialized in combat techniques both physical and in the force. Don’t think a light or dark was attached to it. I don’t recall anyone other than bastilla Shan having it, but she did develop battle meditation during the Mando Wars. There’s also verdant and cyan but I believe those are relative to environments they work in (farmlands/forests and tropics/tundras) but I’m pulling that out of my ass.

[@donsmith303]

Before the dark times…

[@AnaFolkenstal]

Using the force as a defense and not to attack someone is like the creed in Karate: You learn to fight and to defend yourself, but your NEVER attack first. You still fight if you have to, but you're not the aggressor. These writers don't know anything.

[@iivin4233]

There's also the aspect of just being practical. Someone is smashing people into bar furniture. They clearly have superhuman protagonist strength. Even Father Brown would have the obligation to deck the assailant in the shnoz. You know, if Father Brown were also a powerful space wizard who swore to protect the galaxy.

[@elizabethlevesque6978]

@@iivin4233I’d watch Fr. Brown as a powerful space wizard, protecting the galaxy

[@barrybend7189]

She's still weaker than the farmer with a Shotgun from Dragonball.

[@jocelantonettetenoc5996]

Isn't there an episode of SpongeBob that CLEARLY shows why karate is a defense mechanism and not sort of aggressive behavior/revenge factor? Squidward trained karate for under the pretence of self defense but actually for beating up his so called stalker and got punished for it. That episode is way better than well, Disney ever written about force self defense or anything in general.

[@thecod2345]

What’s even more stupid is I don’t think they understand the implications of being able to use the force as a grab. The main weakness of grabs is their range, something the force negates, additionally the force is capable of far more physical power than any muscle, meaning you can twist the arm of someone with a lightsaber and essentially bloodbend them. This is exactly why it was implied in the original 6 movies that either force users were immune to being pulled like that or it wasn’t an application that was used or possible. It fundamentally invalidates any form of combat between Jedi or Sith if you can effectively utilize holds and grabs at a range.

[@Blackdeathgaming-yv1kk]

What i love about all these critique videos is that they genuinely teach me how to write even though im not a writer. But genuinely by seeing and understanding what doesn't work it truly helps me understand what does work, or at the very least would work way better. And the sad part is that most of the time it is the basics, writing 101 that disney fails at yet im learning through critiques and my own reflection when watching these shows. It is almost very sad in the first place that many of us could actually do a better job at writing a basic but functional star wars story or could genuinely improve their shows if we got to revise it.

[@TheDMan2003]

“There is plenty to learn from a bad teacher: what _not_ to do, how _not_ to be.” - Albus P. W. B. Dumbledore.

[@normalaggain]

“There is no good or evil” 2 seconds later “this show is all about … the balance of good and evil” I’m not convinced squid game guy was the only one who has recently learned English

[@Adrian-yi8fl]

I can think of no more terrifying philosophy than one which believes there is no such thing as good or evil.

[@Vladislav888]

Moral relativism is fun. Younglings had it coming anyway.

[@DangerZone200]

yeah im not force sensitive and even i can see there is great evil thats gonna be caused by that guy in the future

[@givmi_more_w9251]

They used 'the border between good and evil is blurry' (which it is often) and took it ad absurdum.

[@Soapy-chan]

depends on what you mean by good and evil.

[@jasongunnell1885]

“There is no good or evil, there is only power….” My god the Sith have taken Disney.

[@DEATH-THE-GOAT]

It's the third wave of feminism - steal every position of power

[@BunkerAnon]

Mon Mothma wasn't present much in the OT but carried massive weight and was clearly respected as a leader of the Rebel Alliance. Never did she sneer or belittle anyone. She projected strength and unity. Good luck with any of them doing that nowadays.

[@alan133]

Mon Mothma is pretty competent and doesnt come across as preachy for WAMAN POWAH in Andor.

[@BunkerAnon]

@@alan133 very true. She's very tactful and uses her culture to bolster her position to strengthen the growing rebellion.

[@mottrex]

I simply loved her character and the way it was written but then it's a show of quality and even for once we see behind the curtains of the Empire.

[@claudeyaz]

Off-topic but this is why I was convinced that Rachel Ziegler lady, she honestly isn't that bad at singing, and is an average actor, but I really thought that her publicist or manager or assistants had a grudge against her, because they kept letting her do such stupid things

[@firstnamelastname4331]

"Fuck me Jesus, Fuck Me" A new sample for my Little Platoon soundboard.

[@arnebosma1404]

After hearing the boys talk about it on open bar, and a video from Drinker and a video from Disparu and I think something from Mauler?.. it's great to see you can still talk about this for an hour and a half. I'm gonna enjoy every second of it. Probably twice.

[@Zephyr503]

The Korean Jedi is named Seoul. That's rather on the nose, Disney. Ueda 上田 is in Japan; it is indeed pretty far from Coruscant. Darth Jigsaw: "A Jedi cannot be killed with weapons, except kunai, poison, and cutting remarks about his fatness."

[@GaudiaCertaminisGaming]

He’s not fat, he’s smuggling a small girl in there.

[@GH-ub7qz]

Pyong Yang, Uijeongbu, and Pyeoongtaek were already taken

[@oXRaptorzXo]

His name is Sol, I believe it translates to Sun.

[@GH-ub7qz]

@@oXRaptorzXo lol...i thought CPT obvious only did commercials these days...lol

[@arghanothername]

The lard side is pathway to many abilities your cardiologist considers unhealthy.

[@NocandNC]

Just when I was lamenting that I wouldn’t have anything have anything to enjoy today… Little Platoon to the rescue!!

[@therealdeal3866]

Hey Platoon, thank you for submitting yourself to this… shit, so that I don’t have to do it myself. I tried to leave a tip on your Rebel Moon video but was unable, so please find with this a tip for two months Disney+- it’s bad enough you have to watch this. You shouldn’t have to pay for it as well. One thing I thought about when you were talking about minute 38 with regards to the twins having the same hairstyle. I am terrified that the jackasses in Hollywood have so dumbed down audiences that we can no longer expect them to NOTICE when two characters have the same face UNLESS they make it blatant by giving them the same hairstyle (and probably clothing and speech patterns as well). Hell, Van Damme did a better job playing twins in Double Impact- in 1991. And that movie was at least WATCHABLE. Anyway, I hope you’re doing well and that this tip mitigates the pain slightly.

[@September6955]

'In my world...' That says enough about her.

[@haku8135]

Marketing a show as a murder mystery and they couldn't even hide the blindingly obvious twist for one second.

[@billjacobs521]

Or do any sort of investigating, like Andor did.

[@keithknows1809]

I was not aware of the twist in the beginning. I noticed the hair was shorter, and assumed that they would have some sort of time jump twist. The thought of a twin _did_ occur to me, but was quickly dispelled with the thought "I've never seen anybody with that hairstyle in star wars before, they would have used something less distinct if they were going to try to pull that off". But alas, two long lost twins, who had completely different hairstyles when they last saw each other, both decided independently of each other to have the exact same unique hairstyle.

[@SearedBooks]

It was the will of the force.

[@jacquelineking5783]

They could explain it by it being the hairstyle of one or both parents and they both wear it to honor their memory. I doubt they will but it could be a nice little unremarked on story telling.

[@bathtub_marmot]

It goes back to those twin studies, where they end up having the same draperies and hairstylist in the galaxy.

[@GideonRavenor712]

Its what makes the lack of a Tyler Durden-esque twist all the more embarrassingly bad. Because it means by PURE LUCK, these Twins which have been separated for nearly 20 years happen to have practically the exact same hair style, they have done nothing to differentiate each other massively in terms of appearance either by accident or purpose (Though one can notice Mae has a marking on her forehead that is usually obscured by her hair), and everyone who did know there was a twin at all assumes the other is dead. That and NOBODY involved with the initial case actually looked into the logistics of how Osha could have pulled off the crime. All they have is what seems to be a lack of alibi for ONE DAY on the ship (Though really, that isn't solid enough, because guaranteed that ship as cameras that could provide her one) merely because she didn't take shore-leave on Nar Shadda, and the eye-witness testimony of one Barkeep. They don't check Navicomputer logs to see if the vessel was near Ueda, they didn't check camera logs to see if Osha even left the vessel or just stayed on board the whole day, they don't confirm Osha even HAS a vessel if the main ship was nowhere near Ueda (Because if she doesn't, it means she had to have gotten there by someone else, which goes back to cameras or Navicomputer), and NONE of them try to read her mind. Considering how liberally they show Jedi using their powers, and what seems to be an interpretation of more leaning on their authority (When the script feels like it, you can tell they don't commit to this though), it almost begs the question why? "Oh, because if they did, that solves the mystery immediately." which means they didn't think about how this would work. Hence why if they wanted this to be a mystery, they would NEED a twist like Tyler Durden in Fight Club, small hints to make us doubt or quirk our eyebrows and then reveal the twist later.

[@emberparadox458]

The untrained monkeys writing this show forgot about that little bit too, because the next time we see Mae in ep 2 her hair is as short as Occupational Safety and Health Administration so they can truly be identical.

[@gringles]

Somebody please clip that part with the youngling with the shrimp eyes, musing about shutting their eyes forever. That was gold.

[@Feanor1988bis]

He would've been a more compelling main character for a revenge story.

[@newtpondskipper]

Next season. ​@@Feanor1988bis

[@JohnGalt916]

The chick was trying to save the guy from anakin blowing up the death star guy😂

[@marcharley6465]

A really thoughtful introduction to this piece. Recognising the drawbacks of predetermined dislike, regardless of the actual merits or flaws of the item being reviewed, seems beyond certain other well known critics. Well done, Little Platoon.

[@BiggieTrismegistus]

Focusing so much on "woke" isn't really necessary because there's so much to criticize the show about already.

[@billyruffian1426]

"If you strike me down with that butter knife, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine."

[@HornetMain]

Man. I unironically forgot about Asshoka

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Lucky you!

[@oXRaptorzXo]

Silksong fan spotted

[@beircheartaghaistin2332]

If chairs can turn into robots that auto-pilot ships, where was that in the Sequel Trilogy? Holdo died for nothing 😂

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

HOLY SHIT YOU’RE RIGHT! Ah, and I thought that scene couldn’t get dumber.

[@billjacobs521]

They just sort of forgot how to build those.

[@Vladislav888]

@@TheLittlePlatoon >I thought that scene couldn’t get dumber You of little faith. TLJ is a bottomless well in ineptitude.

[@CrimsonUltrafox]

Well then she wouldn't get her strong and powerful girlboss moment and get to murder hundreds of thousands of men and women.

[@Draeber]

its not just that they ruined the franchise. They have taken an innocent part of my childhood and twisted it into a raving monster that is jealous, judgmental, afraid and angry. To conclude the story The Dark Side has taken over.

[@jesustyronechrist2330]

I am 100% certain there is some weird corruption/nepotism going on with Disney's hiring department on writers. I dunno where they pick them up, but I am pretty sure they are not picked for their skills or portfolio quality...

[@PraxesArdenn]

You mean when they handed a multi billion dollar franchise to a writer/director who had a resume consisting of a movie his parents paid for, an okay-but-forgettable time travel movie and a couple good episodes of Breaking Bad - that wasn't because he was the best in the business with a burning passion for the franchise?

[@nathancollins1715]

Hollywood in general has a nepotism problem, and it's only getting worse with the rise of DEI. As we've seen in every other major industry, DEI hires actively seek out other potential DEI hires while discriminating against those they perceive as not "woke" enough (ie not in alignment with their political and cultural beliefs) and yes, they usually know each other beforehand. The issue is that these people, by definition, prioritize DEI over every single other metric, including good storytelling, casting, and creative direction. A good story takes focus and effort, and you won't get those things out of DEI hires because they fundamentally don't care about the story. They care about diversity, and will sacrifice anything and everything to maximize diversity (which, if you haven't noticed, is just code for inserting as many black, brown, and queer people into your project with no regard for reflecting real world demographics or even the demographics of the fiction.)

[@rawhead3752]

Watching Disney Star Wars is like watching the extended deathrattle of your beloved childhood pet.

[@WickedScott]

I wish George Lucas hadn't said it's not about spaceships. There was an element of gear porn from his love of California hotrod culture. To dismiss that is to take out an important ingredient. One that Leslie Headland certainly doesn't share.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Yeah, Lucas has… interesting takes. But I do think he’s broadly right on this aspect. There’s plenty of gear porn franchises that don’t hold a candle to Star Wars.

[@WickedScott]

@@TheLittlePlatoon True. I get what he was saying, I just wish he wouldn't dismiss it but that's the film student in George.

[@bathtub_marmot]

I genuinely hope he has a notebook somewhere set to publish upon his death that spells out "This is what Star Wars is about", since "Star Wars was always gay" but also "Star Wars was always racist/misogynist", so apparently SW can mean whatever the person leveraging it wants it to; like the US Constitution, or the Bible.

[@BetaRayBill32]

​@@bathtub_marmot If you collected all of George's comments about Star Wars since 1977 I think you'd have a contradictory word salad. Now, if you could hook him up to a lie detector, that would be interesting.

[@PraxesArdenn]

​@BetaRayBill32 Yup. People like to quote George all the time to justify things, but sometimes I hear or see George Lucas quotes that make me struggle to believe that he fully understands his own creation. Which is not a ridiculous assertion, movies are a collaborative effort, especially the original trilogy. Just look at how the more recent edits to original trilogy trash certain scenes. The scene where Vader is watching the emperor kill Luke in ROTJ - that was a masterful piece of filmmaking where the score and the editing manage to make close up shots of a man in a rubber suit with a mask actually communicate the emotional conflict without ever seeing his face. Masterful. And George went back and added the shitty No! NOOOOOO! from the prequels to it. He's a very creative man who made a great thing, but he's not infallible.

[@LiteDnBFnatic]

Amazing how that clip of HK explaining how to kill a Jedi has more character, nuance and depth than any of these other characters in Disney Star Wars. Early 2000s was a beautiful time . Some shitty moments but so beautiful

[@Vladislav888]

KotOR2's HK-47 was Revan by proxy in this one

[@sortedevaras]

Big ups R2D2 for finally transitioning and then becoming a lesbian. Stunning and brave.

[@jdove6883]

And I'm astonished because I didn't know R2D2 has sex to begin with.

[@RR-ds4sd]

He's saving to buy a tongue 😛.

[@Lampoluke]

I guess that's why she doesn't put the dick/lockpick into the port/vagina

[@PersonallyPerhaps]

I was surprised I always thought R2D2 was a dude.

[@thesaucemaker1319]

The Team America's sound over the fire was so good, thank you.

[@RealityCheck6969]

The Occupational Safety and Health Administration feels disrespected that a Disney character was associated with them. We will take legal action! :D

[@spig3547]

The Sith are literally evil, that's the issue the light and the dark, it's literally known, the idiot. Also Luke saved BILLIONS by destroying the death star, he's up massively net.

[@craigjewel4539]

It is known.

[@30noir]

Excuse ME. It was Anakin who blew up the death star. Don't you listen to these talented people bringing star wars to life?

[@TheMaulam12345]

@@30noir FUCK ME

[@spig3547]

@@30noir anakin did not blow up the death star it was Luke.

[@30noir]

@@spig3547 You haven't been watching the interviews.

[@haleyschreiter9746]

Platoon - bless you for saying "Occupational Safety and Health Administration" every single time 😂

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

It’s so janky. Over here we say “health and safety,” saying “safety and health” is just backwards and wrong.

[@billjacobs521]

@@TheLittlePlatoon We don't say it "safety and health," we just say OSHA--that's why we use acronyms for our 5000 federal agencies.

[@sargeantschnutz5767]

​@@billjacobs521 And hate every single one of them

[@RJ-kr4bs]

When those FedGov parasites show up, we call them OhShit.

[@jeffjones7108]

They couldn't keep the twin reveal going any longer because that would be problematic. They couldn't have the audience believing a POC was being justly arrested by a fair system. Not even for a whole episode. No, their hands were tied.

[@davidchambers44]

Absolutely brilliant. I thoroughly enjoy listening to your very long and detailed breakdowns of these programs. It's good to have a laugh at the utter garbage we get served. Only too bad, however, that the shows and movies themselves have to be so poorly done.

[@Jay-yf2yk]

Props for the commitment to saying the name Occupational Safety and Health Administration every time

[@CujoHyer]

You know, it is funny. In 1999 my friends and I made a text based online Star Wars game that had a hyperspace system in it. You could ping it with a command that would tell you how long it would take to travel from Star System to star system, at a specified hyperdrive speed multiplier. So a standard x1 hyperdrive would take longer to go to a different star system than say the Millennium Falcon that had a x.5 hyperdrive. It isn't even on LucasFilm's radar to do such a thing for their writing teams... because these people actively hate Star Wars. They hate that there are 'rules' and they refuse to follow them. Nothing they do is for Star Wars. It is all to stroke off their own egos. It's sick.

[@TheNoonish]

Rules are cool! They provide limitations, and those limitations are just instant drama. "We've got to reach Chandrila before the Dread Fleet arrives!" but Chandrila is 4 days away at your ship's best speed. Once you establish rules, you have instant scenarios you can work into your story. I've recently been explaining how hyperspace worked in the old EU, where hyperspace fields were disrupted by gravity wells, which led to the creation of Interdictor Cruisers. That bit of world-building just instantly creates a ton of scenarios to build drama around-the rebels need to escape, but there's an interdictor cruiser! They have to jump before the gravity generators power up. "Oh, no! We're too late! Our only hope is to destroy the cruiser, but it's protected by 3 Star Destroyers!" Disney fucking hates rules because it would mean someone has to be accountable to maintaining a unified ruleset across all their projects, and accountability is tyranny. "Just stay up late and eat all the ice cream you want, the only reason your parents stopped you is because they're so bigoted."

[@BiggieTrismegistus]

Something similar happened in Star Trek. In the old TV shows and movies it was understood that space is *big* and that it takes time to travel anywhere. In NuTrek everyone is always where they need to be instantly without any sense of a passage of time.

[@trygveplaustrum4634]

12:47 “The… Heh, I can’t say that…” *Oh, Little Platoon. Do we need to wipe your memory core again?*

[@dfoleyusa]

I think you hit the nail on the head so far Little Platoon. I’m about halfway through and will watch the rest. The seeds of a potentially great story are here but it’s saddled with so much contrivance, convenience, and ham fisted dropping of ‘The Message’ bombs that ultimately what they created appears to be an unwatchable mess. It’s unfortunately what modern Hollywood has become. They are unable to tell coherent, logical and interesting stories because they have to shoe horn in ideology rather than focus on what matters. If diverse characters, points of view and complex motivations and goals are what you are aiming for look no further than the series of books or the show - ‘The Expanse’ which is chock full of unique characters in a complex environment where they are free to make mistakes and their actions sometimes have unintended consequences. No one group is elevated above the other and therefore you can genuinely feel complex emotions and understand the motivations of a significantly diverse set of individuals and groups.

[@Mongoosesummoner]

Minor correction, the old EU had examples of Jedi using or learning martial arts. The original Clone Wars cartoon had Mace Windu tearing apart a Droid army with his bare hands, and KOTOR 2 let you train the Exile in hand to hand combat and one of his party members (who could become a Jedi) Specialized in it.