The All-Seeing NostraDonald

[@KingOfMadCows]

More like Nostradumbass.

[@Reyeston007]

Lol

[@muntasermo]

punz bois

[@sullivansongz]

😀

[@JordanLink1]

+KingOfMadCows amazing

[@TonyTouch831]

lol😂 u just made my day.

[@Steve27775]

I confidently predict that Donald Trump will say something even dumber next week.

[@trevorbatesanimation1883]

I don't know if that's possible

[@artsy_artist1323]

+TrevorSpace Animation That's what we thought last week xD

[@MaryCummins]

+TrevorSpace Animation It is. And FTR I bet Trump remembers seeing the video of people jumping up and down, dancing, yelling for joy in a middle eastern country after the Twin Towers fell. I saw the same video and remember it very well. I wrote about it in an article about 911.

[@mast6209]

+Mary Cummins Jersey City is quite different than a middle eastern country.. but trump probably desnt know that!

[@TheSuperCoolMan122]

+Steve27775 Nothing can be dumber than "a small loan of a million dollars"

[@Kasino80]

I've been watching Colbert so much, I can almost recite his monologues

[@LondonSambaDancerBellydancer]

Kasino80 he's genius

[@stalk8r]

Man all these forgotten Donald gems burried underneath all his further controversy. The fact that he did not raise enough red flags back then is pretty depressing.

[@martinayisraelarieffer1784]

I was thinking the same thing. It like, WTF! How did people fall for this blatant Circus Act

[@Chief2Moon]

Vilkku What's worse is that many KNEW Trump was an asshole but voted for him anyway.

[@iRTehSecks]

Colbert is one of the greatest ever.

[@MassiveScore]

My favorite thing about Trump is that he's the ultimate one-up man. He's said he has the world's greatest memory, he said he has the highest IQ of everyone in the world, recently he said he's the least racist person on the planet. It's hilarious every time.

[@garvythecapricorn]

He has a problem. A disorder, if you will. It's called Ithinkiamelonmuskitis. It's a serious condition. Very sad.

[@JamesAJ]

+touchedinthehead The actual term for what he has is "narcissistic personality disorder".

[@MassiveScore]

***** That's not as fun to say as ithinkiamelonmuskitis though.

[@ArsynZ]

+MassiveScore Trump is the Kanye West of politics.

[@NotchFromMOJANG]

The candidates have actually been ranked by intelligence, Ted Cruz came in first with a score of 9.8 and trump a 5.1

[@LadyEmaSkye]

Not even Stephen could predict that the iPhone 7 wouldn't have a headphone jack.

[@idistroy111]

I love when you rant about donald trump

[@JohnSmith-qn3ob]

THERE IS AN IPHONE 7!!!! STEPHEN'S POWERS ARE REAL!!!!!!

[@maggynica80]

Coffee Girl

[@yellowfan77]

John Smith u

[@JohnSmith-qn3ob]

Georgia Young "John Smith u" what?

[@alexlandherr]

John Smith Good One!

[@blackheartzerotheundergrou3225]

John Smith *OH MY GOD! SCIENTOLOGY IS THE ONE TRUE RELIGION!!!*

[@tylertyler82]

So Don was just hanging out in Jersey in a Muslim neighborhood at 9am on a Tuesday?

[@Cornelius87]

+tylertyler82 He claims he saw it on TV yet no Tv network known to man has any footage of what he says.

[@pluntchgunster6156]

+Jose Vazquez He was a first hand wittness evidently.

[@Muzikrazy213]

+tylertyler82 the specifics of this got me dying laughing idk why 😂😂

[@iRTehSecks]

+tylertyler82 Im glad someone pointed this out. Everything else is irrelevant in my opinion. I just want someone to ask him directly "Why the fuck were you in Jersey, in an "arab", meaning Islamic neighborhood (cause we all know he cant tell the difference between anyone in the Middle East or Southeast Asia) during that time?". He will most likely say business, in which case there would be a paper trail somewhere.

[@lochnessamonster1912]

He watched with binoculars from his golden tower.

[@mutantminusmutiny8477]

Trump has the world's greatest memory because he is the world's greatest goldfish

[@hareemniazi8736]

Omfg lol

[@mrwebber35]

+MutanTminusMutiny You should see my goldfish.

[@goggletoggle1294]

Fishy!

[@vidblogger12]

+MutanTminusMutiny Impossible. Fish have scales. Donald Trump doesn't have scales...except... Maybe that thing on the top of his head. I'm still not fully sure that's hair.

[@noahwilliams8996]

+MutanTminusMutiny I'd vote him world's greatest goldfish if he'd agree to not run for president. :P

[@atomhearts]

Donald Trump has the world's best memory? But I thought elephants had the world's- That's it, Donald Trump is part elephant.

[@kordarron3501]

Confirmed

[@ashendeer]

+Sam Nee Well the mascot for the Republican party _is_ an elephant. It all makes sense!

[@atomhearts]

ChronosRegex I didn't even think of that. You, my friend, are a genius.

[@ashendeer]

Sam Nee In fact, if you think about it, Trump basically _is_ the mascot. He's the most well-known currently, he makes everybody laugh, and he looks dumb!

[@atomhearts]

ChronosRegex Damn, you're right. And wait, mascots have big heads.... Trump has a big head.... It all fits together perfectly.

[@biggin92191]

You could just tell how much that girl wanted to roll her eyes before saying "because he has 'the worlds' greatest memory.'"

[@ladymaiden2308]

Phillip Betts oh my God yes. She struggled to not roll her eyes. It's like she stuck a fork in the back of her hand off camera to keep her focus on the fork rather than responding with an eye roll.

[@GoldenPosiedon]

White people: All lives matter Syria: We have refugees in danger White people: New phone who dis

[@josabadmunoz7981]

For USA,yes, refugees. For Europe, no, a lot of rapists, sharia law supporters, and economic leaches. I'm a PC Liberal atheist, and even I know this shit.

[@Elyndyr]

+James Franco Syrians are not white.

[@SBlackmare]

+TheDtrane We have the ability to help all of them. What's even better is that we are reaching a point where we actually need new immigrants for economic purposes. They take over some of our "ghost towns" and revitalize them. They add to the payroll taxes that fund Social Security and Medicare. It would be a win-win if only fearmongers would get out of the way.

[@CoolioXXX52]

+Rani Hinnawi not true

[@SBlackmare]

Ryan Herich No, it's true. Immigrants are kind of an investment.

[@Jackmonster3231]

Stephen is the best late night host on TV.

[@prabashathilakaratne6293]

#feelthebern

[@raptorsquad3081]

Yes

[@paladingunny4082]

stand with rand

[@dabrolives804]

+Paladin Gunny Danny Rand

[@kav2903]

+Lifted Canyon yes

[@bilb0sw4ggins38]

+theraptor44 trump supporter spotted

[@zetazakuz1513]

Trump needs a small loan of a million dollars

[@nateputerbaugh5709]

According to Romney you should just be able to borrow that from your parents

[@erik8467]

million dollars is a very large amount of money, but compared to 4 billion?

[@zetazakuz1513]

Erik Arustamyan a small loan of 4 billion dollars

[@joegibbs6367]

look what he turned a million dollars into. most people would lose it all

[@mehelloYO]

+Joe Gibbs I agree.

[@wolveric0]

remember when Trump was a joke back in november of 2015?, joke is still running and no one is laughing anymore.... sad but true.

[@lauw428]

wolveric0 now thAt joke won the Us presidential elections

[@cammogaming3517]

wolveric0 damnit past commenter, the joke is president now

[@wolveric0]

i dont know why, but it did not surprised me, i saw it coming.

[@Chief2Moon]

wolveric0 Often seeing Trump's televised campaign run I wondered if he was TRYING to lose by saying stupid things,spouting proven lies,& behaving in an infantile manner......Now that he's president, he's only gotten worse.

[@bigwingedkuriboh]

I love how accurate the pandering part was

[@JohnSmith-xk5ou]

Was anyone else hoping Stephen was going to pull out a possum and was disappointed when pulled out the candle?

[@lizard3755]

I wasn't expecting a possum, but now that you said it I really wish it had been a possum

[@guiwhiz]

I know this was a year ago now, but I've always wanted to comment. I was IN Jersey City, NJ and Weehawken, NJ on that day. There was NO ONE in the streets at 9am on that day. I was standing with a bunch of other people at the Exchange Place PATH station where I met a vendor rep to bring to several meetings. Everybody was either just standing silently ashen-faced or crying watching what was going on across the Hudson River. Then later when I was over in Weehawken standing on a parking garage roof there was just people talking. Many angry about whomever was behind this attack as by that point it was clear it was an organized attack. The rest of the day was spent in chaos as everybody tried to get home and away from Manhattan before all the bridges and tunnels were closed. Trust me there was no 'group' cheering in America that day Mr. Trump much less in Jersey City, NJ.

[@sankernarayanan4638]

Everyone started cheering when Stephen Colbert said "NY is the greatest city in the world", but he just wanted to prove that crowds are easy to pander to and they fell for it!

[@anessone]

Haha the crowd was also going in for the joke by doing that. How boring would the joke land if the crowd stayed silent all of a sudden. I will admit that they are easily appeased though haha

[@FriendlyFantom]

thankful for u stephen thnx

[@JohnnyGarman]

SC has to be one of the best late night hosts to have lived.

[@witchplease9695]

"If Ivanka wasn't my daughter, perhaps I'd be dating her." -Donald Trump

[@witchplease9695]

Aaron Duda I saw the video and thats basically what he said even if my wording is slightly off. The point here is that he's a sicko.

[@Muzikrazy213]

+Des "slightly off" does not work in the world of quotes.

[@witchplease9695]

Muzikrazy213​ Then sue me lmao. I dont care.  "I like big butts and I cannot lie." -Stephen Hawking

[@Muzikrazy213]

+Des well shit.. can't argue with stephen hawking.

[@kalandershihab]

And what's the point of this?

[@ROHAN51717]

'no matter what he does or says trumps gonna do great in polls'.. man could u be more right

[@LoquaciousApe]

"It's as if Trump has some sort of _fifth sense_ that let's him see what's on newspapers and on tv"

[@Iamchowy]

You are the BEST Estevan!!! Bring back ESTEVAN!!!

[@flipmaya]

Part of me wants to believe that Donald Trump is enacting the Zero Requiem from Code Geass.

[@FatBitches]

Holy shit, blew my mind.

[@dem0ninthemist]

+flipmaya OMG, I told that to my friends as a joke. what if he really was an extremely brilliant and kind hearted man and he knew that enough stupid hate would cause the worst of American to be placed neatly in one little place and then he wiped them all way, thus severely removing hate and bigotry in this country

[@janmichael9004]

+flipmaya Actually a few years ago he was a Democrat and very liberal. Dunno what happened.

[@jaydedinnoo8819]

Comedic gold.

[@Tustin2121]

I think this is appearing in my news feed now because the just announced the iPhone 7. HE IS A WIZARD!!! WHO KNEW SUCH A THING WOULD COME TRUE?!?!

[@jailoslubinda9269]

7 years later, still makes me laugh

[@coldfire0007]

He has the gift!

[@kimsjustice09]

Colbert has done it again... Made me spit my water out mid-drink. You'd think I'd learn. Also, that frozen yogurt statement is a fact in my neighborhood! Lol

[@mariokarter13]

I personally prefer "NosTrumpDumbass"

[@humility1st]

I LOVE You Stephen Colbert!!!

[@largolegato]

I remembered when the first time I saw the WT centers were tumbling down, I was just way too shocked to react in any other emotion. Cheer????? Thousands of people?????

[@caseyramone]

I know what you mean... one must keep in mind that it was Donald Trump who said that lol

[@mischarowe]

+Lise Tan I was told about it before seeing it and didn't believe it. It was scary enough as a possibility...

[@sillydog1484]

Did anyone else start singing Schuyler Sisters when he said "here in new york, in the greatest city in the world"

[@mega.gigamax9284]

I think we need to make Trump pay for a wall to keep himself out of our country. His fans should join him...

[@jinxcalico5016]

Then we might just lose half of the country

[@mega.gigamax9284]

Half is generous. Or maybe I want to just be hopeful its not half.

[@gcgrabodan]

"Crowds will continue to be easy to pander to, in this greatest city of the world." ...Crowd cheers... This is one of the most interesting and telling things to demonstrate about american politics if you ask me.

[@699CHIP]

Take note on everybody who supports trump so you know in the future that their opinion doesn't mean shit in any topics.

[@Reyeston007]

Haha agree.

[@44slack]

+Reyes Ibarra, ya, just like the people who vehemently supported the Iraq war. Every time they open their clappers, my ears automatically shut down. Yes, that's goes for demorats and republitards.

[@shadejasmineashfire]

The cookie got me. I laughed so hard. But then again I can relate with loosing things in the dark.

[@zombyjano]

Donald Trump, confirmed to be able to wheeled the Monado.

[@SonicTheEdgeworth]

+Mauricio Martinez Congrats. Give this man a trump!

[@ObeMossop]

This is probably one of the funniest skits I've seen him do.

[@ghost2coast296]

Trump 2016 America will be great again

[@Ely1406]

Wtf

[@syn1183]

#Trump2016!!!!!

[@Muzikrazy213]

+Ghost2Coast sarcasm is fun

[@GoldenPosiedon]

Shut your dumbass up

[@aidenquinn19975]

No. Just, No.

[@devlinburgess2463]

That spooky noise Stephen made convinced me the Mentok! The Mind Taker! had returned for a second.

[@nakianiteshade]

I used to love laughing at Trump now i'm afraid that even if he isn't the nominee he has stirred up some crazy shit in that party that can't easily be undone.

[@tommyknut7808]

this guy, Stephen Colbert or whatever his name is, must be a genius. He is truly funny and skilled.

[@richardhill194]

"No matter what he says or does Donald Trump will still do pretty well in the polls." Well shit, Stephen is good at this.

[@84chevypickup]

MUCH LOVE COLBERT!

[@solomonshv]

the video he is referring to is actually palestinians celebrating in the west bank and ramallah.

[@hoorayism]

Good luck Donald Trump from Australia.

[@EllyValentini]

Do you think Apple turned the iPhone 7S into the 8 to screw with Stephen? Lol

[@artbythecoco]

LOL at that poor female reporter's face when she quoted Trump.

[@formset]

As George Costanza said, “It’s not a lie if you believe it.” ... "I love the poorly educated!”-Donald Trump (2016)-LOL

[@CUMBICA1970]

HAHA James Patterson bit cracked me up. I myself bought a couple of them a while ago at LAX (not Patterson's but Steve Berry.)

[@vaibhavgupta20]

you're looking for 3:46

[@ad2094]

I've watched ALL the Stephen Colbert videos on KZbin. What shall I do with my life now?

[@user-tm1ix7xi1n]

"The world's greatest memory" 😂

[@EVEMASTER99]

"He gives all of us on TV something to talk about." That's exactly what he wants... Any coverage is good coverage for him.

[@eneru8090]

funny how people hate Obama for lying and yet they vote for trump.

[@nanas7399]

"so I may know the known." had me rolling on the floor.

[@GlenHackney]

Ill just leave this here. www.breitbart.com/big-journalism/2015/12/02/trump-100-vindicated-cbs-reports-swarms-on-roofs-celebrating-911/ I hope this wont cause any butt hurt.

[@GlenHackney]

And absolutely nothing will be learned from the lives lost.

[@truboo4268]

Can you please link me to an independent source, or multiple sources, of your claims?

[@stval]

But didnt the govt. claim "there was no way to know". Not to defend the eccentricities of the Donald, but existence of prior knowledge of 9/11 was highly debated in the aftermath and still consequential today.

[@fernie51296]

There was plenty of evidence but Bush's administration ignored it. Many think he ignored it because it would give a reason to invade Iraq.

[@udelgrl]

The FBI were well aware of the fatwas issued by bin Laden in 96 and 98 basically calling for the deaths of Americans

[@MrJustSomeGuy87]

+Saint Val I always thought the idea that "there was no way to know" was really pointing to the fact that the more data/intelligence you have access to, the harder it is to separate the "signal" from the "noise." There are over 50,000 intelligence reports a year produced for the government that attempt to make sense of millions of pieces of data. Humanity at this point utterly lacks the computing power and analysis capabilities to reasonably sift through it all. The U.S. is/was so awash in data and 'intelligence' that, in retrospect, it's easy to say they had foreknowledge because they had the raw information...but arguably no one could have 'predicted' that that specific plot would pan out anymore than the thousands of other terrorist plots they had "knowledge" of.

[@fernie51296]

MrJustSomeGuy87 The brilliant philosopher and communist Slovaj Zizek said in an interview (it's here on KZbin) recently that he doesn't mind the government looking at his emails and stuff. He said it's too much data watching everyone that they never really see anything. He also said maybe if the government looked through his work they'd learn something.

[@MrJustSomeGuy87]

Fernando Herrera lol. Zizek is great. Just out of curiosity, does that mean that you don't believe "Bush's administration ignored it." as you previously stated?

[@comrad9372]

Does anybody else support Rand Paul?

[@2157AF]

+Connor Dunn hes too short

[@LimmingKenny]

+Connor Dunn Rand Paul would be among my top picks for republican nominee, mainly for his foreign policy positions

[@krim7]

Rand Paul is off brand Ron Paul.

[@Adrian-pw8mf]

*crickets.

[@noahwilliams8996]

+Connor Dunn I do. :/

[@VinnyDaQ]

Thus spaketh Trump, the All-Seeing Nostradildo, and lo, the mountains shook, and the seas boiled, and the skies rained fire!

[@patbrennan6572]

if trump wins,we canadians will come to the rescue of out american cousins. it's our way of saying thank you for accepting celine dionne all thoose years ago..

[@CreekMonsters]

I just love when Colbert rips on Trump

[@jeremiahbrand5430]

Call him whatever you want but Donald Trump is not racist, that is for certain. If you think he is a racist then you need to reread the definition of "racist"

[@Solaris132]

Racist: 1. A person who believes that a particular race is superior to another. Tell me how this isn't what Trump does, with all he says about Muslims and Mexicans.

[@michaelbuell7032]

"having or showing the belief that a particular race is superior to another." Ok fair he isn't saying anyone is superior...he's simply targeting groups of non-white skin pigmentation that he believes are dangerous based off of generalized biased examples that are either untrue or a vast minority to those groups...but he's not saying that white people are good he's simply saying Mexicans, Syrians, and blacks are bad...almost every time he gets a mic in front of his lie hole

[@jeremiahbrand5430]

Solaris of Tämir This is exactly what i mean. A racist believes in the superiority of another race. race. race. Race. RACE. R4CE. R-A-C-E. RACE. Mexican is absolutely not a race. That is as stupid as saying that American is a race. Pay attention very closely: Mexico is a country that lies to the south of the southern US border. Mexican is a freaking nationality; not a race. I'm not even sure you could understand this though, seeing as how you also suggested that "muslim" is a race. "What's your race?" "Christian..."

[@michaelbuell7032]

+Jeremiah Brand well if you want to get specific I'm Slavic,English,Irish,Spanish, and a few other traceable races and if you think Mexican isn't a race please tell me what you identify the mix of Aztec and Spanish people that live in Mexico...just brown or a Spanish subsidiary?

[@jeremiahbrand5430]

michael buell Latino or hispanic describe them. A Guatemalan is not a Mexican. He is the same race as a Mexican.

[@shymickey6]

I wish I had Stephen Colberts humor. He is so funny.

[@pablocespedes9585]

Yesterday I was talking to one of my guests in our lodge, he is German, he told that he was in Frankfurt when the 9/11 disaster happened, he told me he was at a grocery store next to his house owned by Arabic people. He said they were cheering and jumping of joy when the towers were crumbling down... he couldn't believe what was going on at that horrible moment! I mean of you are normal, meaning that you did not were raised with irrational and fanatic hate in your heart, you just can not cheer if something like 9/11 happen. So think about this, you better know your enemies guys!

[@Jeffrey_Wong]

I was expecting Colbert to read the numbers on the fortune cookie.

[@JohnMarascia]

I remember seeing it on a new York news story too. trump is correct.

[@casg9172]

I LOVE YOU STEPHEN!

[@tylermartell9501]

And now this guy is president. Good job, America.

[@hamilashhabib2348]

Las Vegas Hispanics Family for Trump!!

[@skylerluke]

when he said I'm also woooaaah I subscribed XD

[@Aries98pt]

Stephen Colbert for President!!!

[@5143hello]

The amount of weird stuff in Stephen's desk always amazes me.

[@link2jr]

This has aged well.

[@OsoActual]

I cannot stop laughing at the movie times segment of this bit. Lolol

[@RustinChole]

that was harsh! finally! truth! keep it up Colbert I

[@kindsprit4039]

I wish he would go “tumbling down “!

[@arnoled]

I was waiting for him to say live from New York it's Saturday night....

[@TheSachingm]

nice one after a long time. he used to be this good EVERYDAY on the Colbert report. But on the Late show, it happens once upon a blue moon..

[@CornOfTheBreads]

The Only comfort I have in life is the fact that America is so Bureaucratic no matter who wins nothing will ever change, and that is a cold comfort in life.

[@harveyspecter255]

I love you Stephen. I'm so thankful to CBS for hiring you and enlarging your "nation" ;)

[@MaryCummins]

Thanks for featuring a "certain" opossum on your show last night ;-)

[@tritonneptune3834]

Okay i understand this is very funny but can someone acknowledge how awesome that spooky music is. It's awesome i want it as my phone ringtone asap!

[@OmarElfareh]

Stephen Colbert for president

[@williammartin1001]

CBS made the right choice with Steven

[@ChAzR89]

solid gold, thanks

[@ericsbuds]

ok im gonna have to start watching the late show again!

[@mahirmustari5545]

lol I like all of his introductions

[@JohnMarascia]

check some of the local tv stations there and their archives. In fact I remember talking to my co workers about it.

[@mr-mz4ed]

lol he was right a yogurt shop did open near me and closed in a month! lol

[@fuscinula]

2:20 Bottom left corner - I found Waldo!

[@AAM11237]

Wait, did he say... New York City... the greatest city in the world...? HAMILTON SENSES TRIGGERED

[@TheSensfan09]

I love Stephen Colbert damn he is funny.

[@jlafountain1]

This was great!