The Art Of Saying No

[@amajadennnn]

21:00 once I saw Layla smile, I put everything down that I was doing, and I laid in my bed and close my eyes, and I continue to listen to all your words and what I was saying, and it has caused me to be writing this because I have cried all the tears that my body could have developed because this was everything that I needed to hear in my life and I don’t know how many times I will ever have to repeat or say this, but this was the most perfect words that I had to hear in this moment in my life because I have been waiting for the right series of words to escort me to finally change that value of myself when it comes to my trauma related to my parents and how that consumes me and how that creates the human being that I will forgo and be until today and towards the future. Immensely hit me so hard in my core, and to be honest, something open to me to seek Allah, and I’ve never looked to religion for anything but some thing about your words in the way of leading me on to want to figure out more about Allah and truly see what I can become. because like Layla said, I don’t want my therapy that is going to continue hearing my cries an hour every week about what I go through and pursue and tell me to do the short term coming that does not resolve to many of the issues that are bigger and resort to, my prescribed medication’s and diagnosis of depression and anxiety and ADHD. I understand these are diagnosis/conditions I have, but I will not be put into a category where I will have to live with us assumption that this will be my suffering for my whole life, and it will never go away. If I can change and be grateful for this mercy on my soul that Allah has blessed me with and be grateful for this mercy on my soul, and I will soon find ease then that is a life I aspire to be in and that is a life. I see proof in because of your words Layla. Thank you.

[@neemo0805]

Love this❤❤❤

[@alhimnarusydianti7865]

Proud of you sist🫂, May Allah always blessed you and you always be met and surrounded by good people🤲❤

[@SatisfiedChild]

Layla not everyone has someone like your Father to teach them how to take their trauma and make it into an arsenal to tackle the world becoming a better person. I've been in therapy to learn these tools to overcome my trauma. Therapy is beneficial and has been used to help many people. Yes it has become a 'trend' to go to therapy. And people have become dalo3een not realizing privileges, but again, therapy cannot be generalized as bad. You simply dont need it because your father has been a great mentor in your life, and thats privilege

[@amajadennnn]

she not generalizing it has bad, its the actions therapist take that does not have us humans coming out therapy mastering our human psychology at a different level of life so we can be better!!!!! AND truly Layla has a privilege in her life which is Baba, a beautiful mentor yes but dont demean and say she has this bias because she has Baba. Baba is her father, blessed upon her she has him. its not Layla or any of our jobs to be held at gunpoint and say that all therapy that has been done has been beneficial, because there are a lot of cases where therapy has not been beneficial for a person and that’s where she said human beings still lead to their bad, whether it means they went back to drugs, or they failed to keep their job again, or they stole and ended up on parole again. those people have went to therapy and receive the worst part of therapy, or they could have received good part of therapy, but they did not leave with the mindset of being able to master and take their trauma and tackle the world by becoming a better person. that is up to the individual control! that is up to the individuals control! and I believe that’s where we are privilege, therefore saying what you said is already a privilege for yourself because you use the right tools to overcome your trauma but someone could have received the same tools you received and did not use that to overcome their trauma and that is why they go weekly to their therapy sessions to cry because of the end of the day the therapist bills will be paid.

[@lizzyrodriguez2739]

She’s not generalizing it as bad, and these tools can be self taught also partly religion and also by reading and putting to practice I came from very closed minded parents I did some therapy but the best therapy was looking for god during my tribulations and the Bible taught me to learn from my hardships and giving it to god etc

[@alishain7]

When the topic came up she literally said yes you should get external help. Me that has tried therapy 4* in my life had left me depressed dependent and anxiety induced they suck the life out of you let you sit there in an unhealthy state until the next appointment. But when people who were toxic or manipulative and healthy told the truth about me and I knew it was true I worked on it. You need someone to tell you straight don’t fall for victim mentality anxiety can be removed depression can leave your body quickly then most expect learning emotional intelligence helps having self love and respect helps working on your self saying no when needed having boundries there is so much I could go on for but yea therapy to me is a waste of time money and being self deprecated in a way

[@MoKa444]

Love your conversations Layla, they are so necessary in the world we live in. I learn by observing and listening to other perspectives. Although many of yours I completely agree with and are how I see and feel about the world, but how you communicate and articulate your thoughts is great. Keep it going

[@salehakhalid1338]

Layla you are a gem. A heating red rod of truth you know. I was a person who validates all the emotions of people and i do it with myself as well. And you know what after listening to you, i never feel like i should be defensive. I clearly see where i was wrong in life and what are the major mistakes i m doing again and again

[@face-in-the-crowd]

Don't cut anything out, your speaking sense. Therapy has its place to help people to heal and then move on. The problem is nowadays people depend on it and it becomes a tool for validation and to appear cool.

[@WalahAlhunaiti]

I'm studying to become a therapist and I get what you're saying however a good therapist would not allow a client to lie to themselves or dilued themselves you're discounting all the great therapists who will keep their clients accountable the whole point of therapy is to learn the skills you need that you have never been taught as a kid. That absolutely includes things like emotional maturity, self-accountability etc. While It is a privilege so are a lot of things in life. going to therapy can be a way of bettering yourself and growing discipline. There are a lot of ineffective therapists I agree however it totally makes sense to me to learn the skills you need to grow with someone who has studied and understands human psychology

[@fiaaafifi]

therapy + changing ur mind actively knowing you can control it + leaving victim mindset +gods love, can help you be a better version of urself some people go into therapy not as victims but rather people trying to improve themselves😊😊

[@alishain7]

Therapy truly is a waste of time and money they strip you down and go through your past over and over or make something out of nothing especially when a white therapist tries to help my mixed cultured self. I had to learn on my own on how to be everything you guys teach and it took a while but atleast it was better than being so depressed and anxiety induced after a hour call solving nothing and leaving me there until the next appointment

[@qaalbinuura6603]

I feel like she said what she said, if you mistook it then you need to rewatch she doesn’t mean it like that

[@WalahAlhunaiti]

@@qaalbinuura6603 I literally said I get what your saying I’m just providing another perspective

[@Pachiavy]

I feel like you guys are teaching me to be a better parent and being when listening to the podcast. I have it all on full blast through my house. Your words are so helpful for me. Thank you so much for being so open minded and having an open conversation about tough topics that are always being shrugged off and or ignored.

[@Uncutguidance]

Absolutely love this channel, Layla! Keep going!!

[@yasilyruiz9323]

Amo estos videos! Por favor déjennos saber cuales días estarán su iendo contenido

[@Nateche_Mohammed]

guess what! i m buying a new tv screen for my room to watch your podcasts confortably!

[@londonm24]

That last minute said it all!

[@chaimaeelouazani4708]

I love listening to you guys but I disagree with you today 😂 I get the point of getting over trauma, but I don’t think that it’s that easy and i don’t think that wanting to overcome that “small” traumas, it’s a sign of being spoiled. Also, I believe that everyone experiences the things that happen to them in different ways. You can put two different ppl in the same situation and u will see them coming out of it in absolutely different ways. I agree with you in the fact that we are responsable of the way we decide to come out of a situation or get over a trauma, but I just think that not everybody has the ability to do so. Not everybody can see through their feelings and need and not everybody can take advantage from the traumatic situation that they’re living to become a better version of themselves. I also think that it’s unfair to compare traumas or to think that the amount of money or the type of life that you’re living, it’s directly attached to the amount of trauma you’re going to experience. I think that it’s important to acknowledge that the way ppl manage trauma it depends mostly on how they see life and their ability to use what they have on their benefit. Emotions are really difficult to manage, I don’t see it that easy. Anyway this is just my opinion and I enjoy listening to you guys because yo make me think about these kind of things!! Hope to listen to you again soon and I send you a lot of support from Spain!! 💗🫶🏼

[@ghadaalharthi6104]

Your videos are becoming a bedtime ritual for me. Merci

[@salmanizzadin]

Amazing podcast, mashallah

[@alishain7]

What most get wrong is that Allah SWT says with hardships comes ease the key word being with it’s not after the hardship you get ease but with the hardship Allah gives you peace that it’ll workout unbothered, tawakuul fi man Allah ❤️

[@fcyj13]

can you please increase the audio volume of your father's and the other host's mic. it'll make listening a lot less bothersome

[@somskeelilee8569]

You are my Epitome

[@syedsaifuddin4759]

I really wish to listen to your father more. You, sisters need to not interrupt when he is trying to make a point. He is being kind and allows you guys to complete but the topic changes then ..

[@amajadennnn]

I’m always a person who has believed in body positivity and downright will always come at someone whoever shines a woman, or a man or a person who is non-binary, etc. that will shame their body in any way of disrespect, ugliness, or even in a way of bullying that person down to a lower state of mind of how they might feel about their body… and I will always shut it down by saying “ you will never last a day in their body. Will you even want to attempt to be in their body for more than an hour of your life” truly I want everyone to listen how many times over and over to Layla said; the person that comes on this evil stream (my synonym for social media) ARE brave to put their role in wholes on these platforms and embrace body positivity, because there are children who are not seeing this body positivity, believe they are stronger than I could be, because I would never. I will see a woman who is five times bigger than me and I am 10 times smaller than them and yet I will never have the ounce of confidence that they have to go on these evil streams and embrace their body positivity for others to see because there is someone out there, who will literally see me, and will never step a foot into my body. Layla it’s not she is saying what everyone feels, and is correcting the quota of thinking that the abnormal is supposed to be something that is immediately accepted. It all started from the horrible country itself, America, looking at us black and brown people and placing us in the category of slaves and abnormally and everyone followed and now us black and brown people are fighting to reach out of that abnormal that the so-called normal title themselves to be. the people who created the abnormity to be bigger and created the percentile that you’re supposed to be in by height and age, these are the rules and customs you guys created, and, like Layla said, we’re supposed to clap in applaud and brava…. i don’t think so 49:23

[@Girl-hk7lk]

yay

[@face-in-the-crowd]

For example Joy Meyer

[@atiya52]

❤

[@AC-vp8hi]

Gtreat discussions! However, I am not sure about swearing in front of a parent.... I know my father would not approve.

[@LaylaKSaleh]

I actually fully agree with you and I’m working on it 🤍 Thank you for the reminder 🙏🏻

[@whereisseema]

Layla I love your videos and learn a new thing everyday, but I sense a bit of entitlement or judgment towards therapy or even people who have gone through intense trauma (sexual assault, physical trauma etc). Also you talk a lot of God because of the privilege of growing with such a God loving father. I’ve grew up in a religious family and not in the way you have. I am working on building my relationship with God. I would encourage you to have some grey area. God can send help in many ways. For most of us, we aren’t blessed with healthy people that you talk of, having boundaries, saying no, moving on and surrounding yourself with more healthy people etc. Again, if you leave no grey area & hate someone, something so much, maybe it’s time to look into what you are projecting. Also if you genuinely want to explore the history of therapy, I would recommend a book called the body keeps the score. I mean you talk about not validating everyone’s thoughts and I love that. I think you are phenomenal in a lot of things you stay by, however the judgment I’m sensing towards people in therapy or therapy in general is not setting well for me especially with very limited information on how therapy actually works or the different therapy models. Everything you stand by in your podcast, is exactly what I’ve learnt in my therapy sessions and I take it a blessing from God go send me the help in this way. With love 🤍

[@fiaaafifi]

the way i was journaling while listening to this and i wrote about my gut feeling about my friends and u brought the topic up. subhanallah, i’m so glad i found this channel. it’s truly a treasure. edit: and the parents part 😭😭😭

[@somskeelilee8569]

❤