The Bad Touch (Bardcore - Medieval Parody Cover) Originally by Bloodhound Gang

Good day, welcometh to our musical marvel. Heareth our rendition of the famous tune and wallow in merriment, The Bad Touch originally by Bloodhound Gang. May thee drop a liketh & subscribeth for more of our sweet melodies as they are released upon thineselves. We hope to see thee in good stead on the morrow!
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For more of our covers go to: • Come On Eileen (Medie...
Haha, well now,
We doth call this the act of coupling,
Yet there be several other most important differences
Betwixt human beings and beasts that thou shouldst knoweth.
Sweat, fair maiden, sweat, for congress be a Texas drought,
Thou and I perform such deeds as only the minstrel Prince would sing about.
So place thine hands down my breeches, and I'll wager thou wilt feel madness,
Aye, I am Siskel, aye, I am Ebert,
And thou art receiving two thumbs raised in approval.
Thou hast had enough of gentle caresses,
Thou desirest it rough, outside the bounds,
I wish thee smothered, wish thee covered,
Like mine Waffle House hash browns.
Arriving swifter than the courier FedEx, never reaching peak,
Just like the stock of Coca-Cola, thou art inclined
To rouse me an hour earlier just like Daylight Savings Time.
Thou and I, my lady, art naught but mammals,
So let us enact it as they do on the Discovery Channel.
(Do it again now)
Thou and I, my lady, art naught but mammals,
So let us enact it as they do on the Discovery Channel.
(Gettin' lustful now)
Love, the kind thou cleans with a mop and pail,
Like the lost catacombs of Egypt, only God knows where we did place it.
Hieroglyphs, let me be specific, I desire to voyage to thy Southern Seas,
But I have this notion that the motion of thy ocean
Doth signal a small craft advisory.
So if I capsize 'tween thy thighs, high tide, B-5, thou hast sunk my battleship.
Please turn me on, I'm Mr. Coffee with an automatic drip,
So show me thine, I'll show thee mine, "Tool Time,"
Thou shalt Lovett just like Lyle,
And then we shall enact it doggy style,
So we may both observe the X-Files.
Thou and I, my lady, art naught but mammals,
So let us enact it as they do on the Discovery Channel.
(Do it again now)
Thou and I, my lady, art naught but mammals,
So let us enact it as they do on the Discovery Channel.
(Gettin' lustful now)
Thou and I, my lady, art naught but mammals,
So let us enact it as they do on the Discovery Channel.
(Do it again now)
Thou and I, my lady, art naught but mammals,
So let us enact it as they do on the Discovery Channel.
Thou and I, my lady, art naught but mammals,
So let us enact it as they do on the Discovery Channel.
(Do it again now)
Thou and I, my lady, art naught but mammals,
So let us enact it as they do on the Discovery Channel.
(Gettin' lustful now)
#bardcore #medievalcover #funny

[@RynoDBones]

A classic. This is going straight onto my playlist for work. Haha

[@Bardcore]

Glad you liked it! Thanks for the support

[@user-ni8de6oe5v]

Ha! Well, now, The Romans call this act fornication, Yet be there several other vital differences 'Twixt man and beasts that ye should know.... Sweat, lady, sweat, may our passion wake thy fire. May we do the kind of deeds to which King Henry would aspire. Place thy hands 'neath my codpiece and enact some form of bawd, I'm thy Geoffrey, I'm thy Chaucer, For this night, I'll be thy lord. The touch of hands doth not sate thee, Ye seek a different kind of fun. Shall I lay waste to thy fortress Like Atilla the Hun? With Hermes' speed I arrive, 'pon thee I dive, On Eros' journey we be bound, With the daybreak shall we twain bark as fit to rival my hounds. Ye and me, lady, we be nought but vassals, To these passions that do drive us to place our names in the annals. (Grant thy hand now!) Ye and me, lady, we be nought but vassals, So I ask thee, shall we sow our seeds like Saracen camels? (Doff thy clothes now!)

[@joeritchie7286]

Thou hast master'd those words far great'r than I cou'd hath attempt'd

[@Bardcore]

Many thanks!

[@fry7320]

I was trying to remember the name of this band and here we are with another low-key banger and relief for that part of my brain that was on an unending quest to solve the mystery.

[@Bardcore]

Thank you!

[@Lilith_Nightshade]

I can't wait to hear this rendition!!!

[@Bardcore]

I am sure you will not be disappointed!

[@skipsmoyer4574]

That was awesome, wait, my roof is on 🔥? I have to go

[@Bardcore]

Hahah, thank you sire!

[@sailingcassandraville]

I never realised how musically complex this song was until just now!

[@Bardcore]

Thank you!

[@Mrcharrio]

Now do, When I think about you, I touch Myself

[@Bardcore]

Now that is a song I forgot to do! 🤣 I'll add it to my list to do someday

[@RickHardcore]

Really good my friend!! Like 54

[@Bardcore]

Thank you!

[@aloysiusmaina2625]

Excellent ✍️ tune, maestro!

[@Bardcore]

Many thanks!

[@keynanmartinez]

The King telling his men to have a good time in order to have more Knights for his Kingdom.

[@RoryRamshot]

Its very nice… I like. US and A best country. No cap, wurd to my deds, i am vibin rn ngl with Bards. Tight ship. Send transcript to Cornielius Link and you have yourself a certified 10m banger. He is a good Lad.

[@Bardcore]

Thank you!

[@katwitanruna]

Scribe! Place this upon the lists of songs instrumental, medieval and such and do thou send unto my kith and kin my greetings unto the day so that they may also know the joy of song.

[@Bardcore]

Many thanks!

[@haleriggs4015]

It’s not F the Pain Away but it will do!

[@Bardcore]

Many thanks!

[@user-ni8de6oe5v]

Love, the passion 'twixt a lady and her knight, With a hunger matching Sobek, jaws a-gaping for a bite. Honorifics, let me be specific, I wish to sail 'pon thy seas, Yet methinks thy narrow harbour forbids oversized galleys. So should I drown between thy thighs, high praise have I for thy trick, Would ye quaff my ale? 'Twill never fail, to grant a potent kick. So be we exposed? Shed we our clothes? 'Tis time for revels 'pon the farm. But by morning, we'll be warring, Like the hordes of Genghis Khan.

[@djamtz]

Ok, is there a sign with this song? Bc this isn`t the first instance I`m getting 4 months ago, I saw a ' IF RAMNSTEIN MADE THE BAD TOUCH ' then I see a mashup one night of that song and bbno$`s it boy and another with Good Time from last week I`m also pretty sure there were reactions of that song from a few months or so? Now this... WHAT DOES IT MEAN!!!!!!!!!!!?

[@Bardcore]

Maybe it means you ought not but a mammal. So possibly best you do it like they do on the discovery channels.

[@Lilith_Nightshade]

@@Bardcore 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@limeflashlight4101]

😂 cool

[@Bardcore]

Thanks

[@miguelchapital8937]

😂😂😂 jajajaja ahora está será la nueva música clásica..... Que bueno que no tiene letra.... 😅

[@Bardcore]

Gracias!

[@homelesshannah50]

This is BETTER than the original[no offense]

[@Bardcore]

Thou art too kind!