The Basics of Sexual Consent

[@charlessmith263]

The lessons----legally, consent cannot be accepted if the party you want to have sex with - 1. Is Silent 2. Shows body language that cues the initiator that that person does not want to have sex at that time 3. is intoxicated 4. Is high on intoxicating or narcotic drugs 5. If the one initiating the sex pressures that person to do sexual activity (this would be coercion, harassment, or even sexual assault) 6. Is asleep without drug intoxicants or narcotics 7.If the person wanting sexual activity is under the age of majority (in most cases) - this would be sexual abuse or even statutory sexual assault (which is illegal), except under the Romeo and Juliet close-in-age sexual consent laws 8. Is a blood relative under the age of majority (this would be illegal incest) 9. Forces the person into sexual activity in a violent way (this is outright rape, which is a serious crime and illegal), especially if the party declines consent

[@kinga-635]

But here’s the thing ? Example as a man you meant to “Ask” everytime for a kiss or something else sex or can I touch here ?? Some not all women would get fed up with that saying “ don’t ask just take “

[@DylanThompson-o2l]

Who’s the girl in the top right her story is so intresting would love to hear more.

[@meganslonksnis7067]

Why isn't consent asked in movies and tv shows? Why isn't sex portrayed more realistically?

[@riseabove]

Good question. Perhaps the issue of consent will start to appear as people become better at talking about it. Your point has also got us thinking about how people are portrayed on film generally. There's a lot of perfect skin, perfect hair, perfect toes etc etc out there !

[@e.g.a.3457]

Megan Slonksnis that is such a valid question!

[@bignosehembrow4596]

Its a film you fucktard. Many assumptions have to be assumed.

[@jamesmorell1758]

@@Jason_from_cal Pretty much. What you see in movies is how it goes down and should. You and that person catch a vibe and keep going until someone says something otherwise. The only time really that you would get a conflicting answer is if there is fear or pressure involved.

[@NYC1E1]

Because it's not realistic... All I fucking hear is about is how movies like the Note Book etc. are so romantic even from die hard Feminist... Not one word about them being rapist...

[@poetikalyanointed_lionofju3019]

Hi Guys, I loved your video-clever concept.

[@havenbastion]

Sexual consent and use of private property are Not the same thing. And you can make an ethical binding contract with either. If consent were revocable unilaterally just because your change your mind, informal agreements and legal contracts would not be possible and society would literally crumble. Consent is a range of certainty on both sides, not an on/off switch. That's dangerously simplistic. Also, having sex just to keep your boyfriend isn't ethically worse than working for someone to avoid being homeless.

[@bobloblaw9505]

If you have to ask, the answer is no

[@stargazer2042]

The law is designed to convict any guy complained about. They know people in relationships will break this rule at some point and then will know they can be convicted on her whim at any later time and therefore better obey her if she asks for favors or does not want a breakup or disapproves of his political writings.

[@FHIPrincePeter]

Notice how the your post did not receive a reply!

[@anthill1510]

What are you talking about? First of all there is statistics that prove that false accusations are incredibly rare. Secondly, what kind of strange view on relationships and women is this? Women are not starting relationships with you to extort you like that. If you actually met someone who behaved like that I am sorry that happened to you. But that`s not "something women do", that`s something sociopaths do who can happen to be women.

[@JBrooksNYS]

I've never asked a woman if she wanted to have sex in my entire life. Sometimes consent is implied. If she pulls her own pants down during Netflix and chill, its safe to assume she want to jam. If she changes her mind she will let me know.

[@riseabove]

There are lots of reasons why a girl or boy may not feel able to say if they have changed their mind. Since it's not always so clear, it's important to be aware of how your partner is feeling by having a chat, or even just taking a couple of seconds to check that they still feel happy to take things further. The Rise Above site has more great videos on this, which you can check out here - riseabove.org.uk/topic/love-life/

[@tayl2991]

Consent does not always have to be verbal. When I get together with my FWB for sex, we pretty much consent the day before in text. Now before you jump all over me telling me “consent has to be given in the moment right before sex”, let me tell you that it doesn’t always have to work that way. We communicate this way and it works for us, and not once have either of us felt that consent wasn’t given/received or that we were in a situation we didn’t want to be in

[@FHIPrincePeter]

So Example I if Person A extends his arm out to Person B pointing at her phone with a smile and Person B hands the phone over to Person A with a nod of her head a smile a giggle and a laugh. Was that consent? Example II following on from I Person A "uses " Person B's phone for a long time Person B is not perturbed by it until two day's later she get's a massive phone Bill, and she is unhappy about it what is the situation here?

[@CJB-]

I know all this and the last thing on my mind is to hurt anyone. When I last dated I asked for consent so many times she realised I was concerned and said everything was ok. I was too stressed out for sex by then, I was kinda glad the next day and stopped dating after that. If it comes down to her word against yours and the consequences include going to prison, is sex worth it?

[@kinga-635]

But here’s the thing , I dated a women before and she got fed up of me constantly asking things like can I kiss you , can I touch you here etc she’s like just do and other women I dated aswell , but like what about seduction because with seduction you don’t ask you just kinda go off the vibe , the feeling but hey what’s your thoughts 💭 perfect example look at movies 🎥 when they have sex like they end up kissing then more time the man takes it to the next step but dosent ask can I

[@CJB-]

@@kinga-635 Yes but that's a movie. You mustn't do that, you must constantly ask or risk getting yourself in trouble. Saying you got the right vide wouldn't stand up in court. Women aren't worth risking your freedom over. Although I'm straight I occasionally meet men now for intimacy.

[@kinga-635]

@CJB- but this is what I’m saying , what happen to seduction then ? What about taking the initiative? I’ve date a lot of women and i constantly asked and they got annoyed with me for asking and asking and they say just take ??? So I’m left confused and I think a lot of young men are especially who’s knew to dating

[@CJB-]

@@kinga-635 It's just the way the world has changed. Sexual consent forms maybe the answer.

[@kinga-635]

@@CJB- I dunno if my comments are getting deleted

[@ellypapas8266]

Hi, I am interested in using this video in a youth psychosocial program aimed at developing healthy relationships. Would you be able to contact me to discuss. Thanks.

[@riseabove]

HI Elly, thanks for your message! We will be in contact to discuss! All the best, the Rise Above team.

[@RealityCheck6T9]

What if someone comes up to you going "hey hey look at my phone! It's got loads of really cool features! Have a go, you'll love it"? What if they put the phone in your hand without you having to ask? Do you then still have to ask "is it okay to use your phone?"

[@riseabove]

If they are offering you to look at the phone and put it into your hand, then you would still need to ask if you could actually use it, so there are no misunderstandings! Offering you to 'have a go' is still not clear whether they're offering you to look and hold or to actually use it. Always clarify what you think is being offered in a clear way.

[@RealityCheck6T9]

Well I disagree but you're clearly committed to this narrative so good luck to you

[@shadaxe]

If you get a new phone with a ton of exciting features and choose to put it in my hands, I'm still not going to assume that you approve of me placing a call to Venezuela.

[@stargazer2042]

@@riseabove But what about texting your own phone with it just to see how the new text feature works? Worst case I give them a dollar for the text cost right? Really what is the worst that could happen.

[@bignosehembrow4596]

The girl in the top is well fit.

[@ChildOfTheWilderness]

People just need to be clearer. Women give out vague signals a lot & then complain men still don't get the message. Look, many men need it spelled out, so do it. We read body language & dress a certain way. Dressing like a hooker & acting like one implies something. If that's not something you want, probably best to look at yourself & say "what message am I giving out by doing this?" If you seemingly are projecting a big sign to guys that says "come hit on me", guys will.

[@riseabove]

Hi Richie 1138, The way a person dresses or acts is not a reflection on the way they are and should not be assumed. It's always important to talk so you you don't mistake any signals.

[@ChildOfTheWilderness]

Rise Above It shouldn't be assumed, unfortunately we are wired a certain way & attracted to certain things. Some people aren't direct, they use body language to communicate. If a woman decides to grind herself against a man & let him put his hands on her, what sort of indication do you think that gives out?

[@ChildOfTheWilderness]

Rise Above I agree we should talk more, that's part of the problem. Women don't say "no" they apparently imply no. That's not going to work much of the time

[@stargazer2042]

She should not have to even imply no if you just grab her, a stranger out of the blue. You two had sex before that is different.

[@FHIPrincePeter]

@@riseabove Dressed as a Nun.

[@calebrands4912]

People really need to stop using stupid metaphors to describe sex and consent.

[@stargazer2042]

When you ask for someone's phone, you are asking for a favor. When you have sex with someone who has flirted with you, they might be enjoying it too. So the analogue is not valid.

[@kinga-635]

@@stargazer2042but a lot of the times there’s no asking to have sex it just happens through seduction ?? Like not even talking

[@miney046]

The pixel fun music distracted me...

[@kertarneaud4475]

So my question ❓ is so it only the female have to give consent to sex to be ok so if the male didn't consent to sex so women could be jail for rape 🤔 because female could lie also 🤔 and say it was not consent and a guy is locked up in jail why is the laws setup to only suit girls and women it's comes like all the laws made to protect girls and women and boys and mens barely because if a man does content to sex and go to the police them would never believe him or think 🤔 women could rape men too without his consent 🤔 this world is bias to men and the laws needs changing in 2023 and beyond because there are no equal rights for men now 🤔

[@marianotrani8438]

But usually you don’t ask a girl explicitly with the question “may I kiss you?”. You do it in a natural way when you are toghether, you understand each other and get closer. The thing is then reciprocal. Have you to ask explicitly the question? It’s kind of unromantic

[@stargazer2042]

Before affirmative consent, I was told by women that they liked when guys asked permission. Maybe those were just dominant women. Those who like dominant guys would be put off by it. Just ask on thirst or maybe also second time.

[@anthill1510]

I think putting an emphasize on things being reciprocal really is key in general. If the other party just "doesn`t pull back" that`s not reciprocal, they have to lean in.

[@lordnighted8822]

hmmmmmm

[@ToastedDuck]

Stupid video only demonstrates the lad as pushy when there’s plenty of woman who’d be the same why should statistics dictate these videos it’s depressing