The BPD Bunch S3E4: BPD & Trauma

[@ari.kourkouta]

Hey big and small Ts of the world, these videos give me bunch of courage! Keep communicating with us! Sending love

[@alphadog3384]

This is such a expressive group without pretenses. Thank you all for sharing.

[@nickhigney2192]

Heavy hitting episode and covering some real difficult topics. Trauma is tough and comes in so many different shapes and sizes. Thank you all for being open and sharing your stories. It takes an immense amount of courage to speak so openly about things that have had such a huge impact on your/ our lives.

[@sagedandy123]

You have not ideal how validated I feel! Thank you!!!

[@moonchild6115]

Oh my god Dareen , I cant believe that happened to you , I am so sorry , you sharing your story just touched me so much , and I am just so sorry that happened to you . I send you 💗

[@mariahconklin4150]

I experienced both invalidation and validation from both family members but it was when I was doing bad when they wouldn’t validate me

[@thebpdbunch]

🫂

[@moonchild6115]

31 mins in yes Darren , can completely relate ,I have always been too scared to speak up about something that's upset me, scared I guess ijm going to lose them , scared they will get angry with me , or scared they will invalidate me, so I always kept quiet. until I could no longer cope. now I know I hurt a lot of people in my life who thought why didnt you say anything but it it because of the truamas I have been through and the ways people have reacted towards me in the past when im upset . I just freeze

[@mariahconklin4150]

Right now I’m just wanting to quit my job it’s been awful thought I was fine but it all caught up to me guess I was in denial.

[@moonchild6115]

I was sexually assaulted at 18 in front of my college colleagues, on a disable holiday by an older man who was running it Called Keith. I got drunk and we were all out together , and he came over and was grabbing me groping me and lkissing me infant of them /I Froze inside , but kept smiling , inside I was screaming. I felt like it was my fault . which is how I often felt, there must be something wrong with me if all these things keep happening to me. I felt so much shame afterwards and my college colleagues who saw it happen ,thought I was up for it and treated me like a wierdo/slut. it was so painful I blocked it from my memory. it only came up recently during all the lockdown , when all my truamas came up at once ,like a volcano , and my body just went no more!! I couldn't cope with any more stress , invalidation, loss, pain, etc I had no control over my reactions and what I said most of the time I didnt even feel like me. but when I look back at that memory I think , why did I block it, why didnt I go and talk to anyone in my family , and you know I really felt inside that they would just judge me pooh hoo it or blame it on me , completely misunderstand what happened. and thats because that was my experience. I once tried to confide in one of my parents about being bullied and he said "what did you do?" you end up holding everything in , you learn , I have to cope with this alone . put on a brave face. I spent so much of my life in disociation or just numb , or just getting through traumatic events like an ectopic, byears of bullying at school , later at college , then later at work in one job I had. I even had friendships were I was treated with disdain, dismissed, made fun of , one of my friends from my 20s used to project onto me all the time. you get. to a point where you cant emotionally or psychologically cope anymore .

[@thebpdbunch]

Wow that’s awful, so sorry that happened 😢🫂

[@noturbo]

🫂🫂🫂🫂Darren🫂🫂🫂🫂

[@moonchild6115]

Doesn't help if you were brought up in the 70's where parents were told to leave a child to cry themselves to sleep. sending love to all Big T and little T trauma people . I just hide and run away, cant fight when you are being attacked by a whole network ./ group of people

[@noturbo]

🫂🫂🫂 Céline 🫂🫂🫂 i ground most of my teeth to dust from the trauma stuff in my body i am so sorry you have this 🫂🫂 oh man i harmed myself to cope with trauma still do just not as bad as i used too Feel some feelings lol made me giggle with tears in my eyes 🥲 🦘🦘 I am in Brisbane, Australia 🦘🦘 Thanks again for this its helping me not feel alone right now life is super hard right now so you are helping more than you know.