The Bricklayer's Lament - by Gerard Hoffnung

From Gerard Hoffnung's 1958 Oxford Address.
Hoffnung, a cartoonist, tubist, impresario, broadcaster and public speaker was aged just 33 at the time of this performance. Unfortunately he died of a brain haemorrhage the following year.
More about him here:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gerard_H...
His entire lecture from the Oxford Address is available here:
beemp3.com/download.php?file=5...
I posted this because I was surprised I couldn't find it on youtube.

[@deejaytee5481]

Hoffnung's delivery, the pauses etc. are what make this old chestnut hilarious, and a classic. I defy anyone to deliver it better!

[@LhodaKblerz]

"I was now heavier than the barrel". The listener knows exactly what is going to happen. Hoffnung, in his "making a formal report" style, uses very simple language, absolutely perfect timing and other peoples imagination to produce a piece of PURE genius.

[@martm216]

Marvellous bit of business. I have vivid memories of our English teacher playing this to us in class, it must have been about 1968. He pointed out Hoffnung's wonderful timing, the way that he put the listener ahead of the story, so that you anticipated the punchline. Thus he got two laughs for every joke, one when you guessed what was coming, and one when it came.

[@bscepter]

I remember my dad playing this for us when we were kids. Even though I've heard it a million times, it sill makes me laugh -- especially when I hear his stentorian delivery of "THE BARREL...."

[@johngreene2497]

First heard this more than 60 years ago... I've often tried to remember what it was called and now I've rediscovered it. Very special moment.

[@johngreene2497]

And the version by the Corries is equally special.

[@w.reidripley1968]

​@@johngreene2497Aye... special.

[@martm216]

Amazing, and sad, to think that he died so young. There is a maturity in his voice and delivery that sounds more like a man in at least his fifties, if not older. He achieved a lot in his thirty-four years.

[@karenwilliams3459]

My mum told me this story when I was younger. Absolutely cracked me up. Every time I hear it I still do. He was a genius and had the ability that even though you knew what was coming it still made you laugh twice. Thanks for posting x

[@sallygibbons8166]

I've known this recording since I was about 15, which is longer ago than I care to think about. It still has the ability to make me weep with laughter - it is mostly in anticipation of what you know is to come, and you can hear the audience doing exactly the same thing, which makes it even funnier. Humour at it's very best - subtle, intelligent, and requiring genuine concentration by the audience.

[@cosycleaner]

Absolute genius! As hilarious as when I first heard this 50plus years ago! A masterclass in delivery and timing.

[@richardchampion1034]

I first heard this on the radio in the car and had to pull over I was laughing so much. Brilliant.

[@franzelias5368]

I don't know if I have ever heard a speaker with better control. Hoffnung isn't just telling his audience a funny story, he is feeding it to them one delicious morsel at a time :-)

[@jonallen-friend2405]

I heard this first in the 50's on BBC radio. It has lost nothing over more than half a century. His delivery is absolutely magnificent,

[@davej1952]

This used to be on the "wireless" and I listened to this as a young boy with my Dad. You can't explain this humour.....you don't need to. Thanks Dad x

[@ej1937]

I heard "The Bricklayer's Lament" for the first time on the radio while driving along in my car. I laughed so hard I had to stop the car and compose myself. This was in 1960 and I had just arrived in Sydney from Norway. That was really my first exposure to english humour. I have never forgotten it. Pity Hoffnung died at such a young age. He was up there with the best.

[@1cantell]

...."at this point, I must have lost my presence of mind"....one of the best comedy lines in the business!! A brilliant, brilliant piece that shows anticipation is as funny as the event!

[@peterlittlehorse]

i so agree

[@cynthiahawkins2389]

You can almost anticipate John Cleese and his escalating annoyance monologues here. Anna Russell's opera stories. Or marvelous Victor Borge. It takes a flawless ear and real gift to do this type of recitation, but, when the performer hits his stride, the result is absolutely hysterical!!

[@ianjeffery6744]

A classic, one-off, and absolutely SUPERB performance!

[@Ratherniche]

Remarkable delivery. His accent and olden colloquialisms make it so, so special.

[@JennyO414]

I heard this when I was about 15, and have always loved it! Absolutely the best, and the definitive version of this story! His brilliant timing is what makes it so perfectly funny!

[@biwaUSA]

I first heard this in the 60's. When you listen to this you really need to have your eyes closed. One of the funniest things I've ever heard. Thanks for posting this gem.

[@rtimmorris]

I found this whilst searching for something regarding Bob Newhart. I have a large piece of circular black vinyl that includes Gerard's Oxford University address. I haven't listened to it for 20+ years. I can remember after the first time I heard it, I was rolling around on the floor laughing uncontrollably. I must find that record. No swearing, no sex, no racism, just real clever humour. FANTASTIC.

[@paulreeve]

I have to say that this original recording beats anything which has subsequently been reinterpreted and put to music. This is simply the best. Had me in tears !

[@coileyparjley4426]

It must have been at least thirty years ago when I first heard this on Radio 4. I have wondered what it was ever since. Last night I was listening to 4 extra and they were trailing a programme about the "bricklayers lament" I knew immediately what it was and so was able to find it here. Brilliantly funny

[@chrisdignam1972]

I believe that this is the funniest act of comedy in history and will take a lot to beat. Even though I know what is coming next it still leaves me in tears of laughter

[@ReallyJillRogoff]

My late father used to play a record of this to my sisters and me in our childhood, and of course, The Corries went on to make a song of it. Still cracks me up to this day.

[@pjdonagh]

Nearly 50 years since I first heard this and it doesn't loose any of its magic!!!!

[@kitsukara23]

It doesn't matter how many times I hear this, it cracks me up every. Single. Time.

[@IanAmpleford]

Wonderful story. I remember listening to it in the late 50's on a children's Saturday morning radio show.

[@RonWylie-gk5lc]

How delightful this is, I first heard this on the radio when I was about 11, I loved it then and I love it now. Thank you poster

[@mikeofcomx]

I've loved this for near on 30 years. It's one of the things I press on house guests whenever I get the chance: pssst! Come and listen to this! It's story telling at its best! and we slip off quietly away from the kitchen crowd.

[@fslbob]

genius.

[@brentirwin10]

Every speech class should be required to listen to this.

[@fasteddy6976]

Excellent! I still have the original LP vinyl, but its great to listen to a 'clean' recording of this classic parable. Thanks for posting.

[@22skiddoo]

Hoffnung's timing is immaculate and the laughter as people start to realise what's coming next is priceless. It's a shame the first few seconds are missing but it's hilarious nonetheless.

[@MrWadeant]

Love it! When I was very young my father forced me to listen to this is the car. I think I just laughed harder now that I did when I first heard it :D !!!

[@suzie106]

Brilliant. I have been listening to this for years, and have never got tired of it. What a genius!

[@adrianfwild54]

My Dad introduced this to me in the 60's. It used to have us in stitches. I have never been able to find it until now! Thanks so much for posting! 😁

[@RWBHere]

Thank-you. I have two limited edition LP sets of his recordings, including this one. His cartoons were used by the BBC until the mid-1960's to make children's programmes. And he also did a series of advertisements for Independent Television, which were still being run, years after his demise. My favourite childhood comedian. Such a shame that he died so young. Congestive heart failure led to a brain haemorrhage which killed him in 1959. Look out for his music festivals and his radio interviews, made for the BBC Home Service. His timing, stress and modulation were perfect. I wish that more of our modern comedians would learn lessons from the greats of yesteryear.

[@ismee001]

I heard this years ago, but by Blaster Bates and had searched for that recording but never found it, it wasn't until the other day I came across something that pointed the way to this. Thanks for posting, it is comedy at it's very best.

[@ittopitto4300]

The last time I looked, Amazon have it on a CD. It might be worth searching for it there.

[@SeaSongLynda]

childhood memories, revived in the 70's and re-remebered now - very funny

[@ittopitto4300]

Thanks for that Colin. I've got a double LP (remember them?) with that and several other gems somewhere, if I could only find it, and something to play it on. I still find it funny after 60 years - positively timeless humor. Thanks again.

[@sarkybstard]

I was born in the year the record was made and it was always in the house. I have no idea how many times I have heard this and it still raises a smile. The song that somebody made of it just annoys me, especially as everybody that sings it has a different 'origin' story.

[@madpaul20]

i am a health and safety executive, and will be investigating this case in due course

[@julianares1343]

Be certain to request sick leave ahead of time...

[@w.reidripley1968]

Stomach, you know.

[@brianjacobi]

Total genius. One of the funniest perfomances I have ever heard. Thanks so much for posting. Wonderful. Brian. New Zealand

[@Skij25]

I've heard this many times on CBC Radio, and it never gets old. So brilliantly funny. Thanks so much for posting this, and I'll be certain to check out his full address to the Oxford Union.

[@NikErgo]

My Dad, a self-confessed and proud Anglophile, played this for me several times. It is a piece of absolute genius!

[@annemariefleming]

Absolutely priceless! Hoffnung is one of my two great heroes (Edward de Bono being the other).

[@shakeypitt]

If you get a chance, listen to 'Murphy and the Bricks'. Noel Murphy, a great Irish folk singer, took Hoffnung's story and made it into a song. Definitely worth a listen. B)

[@ambertjeblue]

Wonderful, I remember hearing this as a teenager, and still think it the funniest monolgue ever, Thankyou sooo much for posting.

[@johnlawrence2757]

This is a reminder of the days when stand-up comedy was actually funny, didn't have a constant flow of obscenity and was enjoyed by audiences who listened to the words and were capable of applying anticipation to enhance both the performance and their own enjoyment.

[@11wahiba12]

As I looked out of the bedroom window this morning, I noticed that the building behind our cottsage is having some worked done on their roof. They have rigged a pulley and rope at the top of the scaffolding presumably to raise building materials to the roof level.This lament which I have not heard for many years immediately came to mind.

[@kennyholbrookkennyfreeway6969]

A Buddy has this on a 45rpm Record. When coming home from the pub, we would play it. This would result in us in hysterical laughter. We would often play it AGAIN.

[@springrobin]

OMG THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH! i HAVE BEEN TRYING TO FIND THIS FOR AGES! I remember I heard this delightedly for the first time as a kid, when my dad returned with it from an Open University summer course in engineering-The physics of pulley's! Thx

[@tireddad51]

I was stuck in traffic yesterday and turned radio 4 on just in time! I haven't heard this in years and years and years. Other people in other cars were laughing as hard as me, we must have all been listening!

[@arizonagcs]

Heard it on radio 4 this morning. I remembered it when it stared - had me in stitches

[@WilHenDavis]

Many thanks for posting this! Absolutely brilliant! Not one single swear-word! (Impossible in the world of today) - his timing was always perfect, and it was such a shame he died so young! (…quem di diligunt, Adolescens moritur…)

[@Agnethatheredhairkid]

I first heard this in school in 1975. Just as hilarious 39 years on.

[@steinwaygrande3971]

Only Gerrard Hoffnung could pull this off. Bloody funny for a Monday morning

[@therealzilch]

I heard this many years ago too. Classic. Thanks for posting it.

[@vitorinobarcelona6990]

This actually happened to me, while i was in hospital, a friend visited, got their tape deck out, (remember those?) and played me this, which had the consequence of re cracking my five broken ribs, i also wet myself and the other

[@chidlowt]

The story is excellent, the delivery is fantastic. I still have the record in my attic given to me by my late Uncle.

[@SuperIliad]

I've been trying to recall anything that might help me locate this tale I'd heard fifty-five years ago. Alas!

[@RogerSartet007]

I got here through an 1984 (or 1985) interview (on BBC's Saturday Superstore) with Simon Lebon. High grade slapstick this is. Merci Monsieur Lebon. Always knew you had great taste:-)

[@idleruler]

I've loved his cartoons for years, never heard this before. Hilarious.

[@anncolvin7448]

I heard this many years ago and it was told by either Soupy Sales or George Carlin. My Mom and I laughed so hard. Great memories and glad to have found this!

[@thunorwodenson]

Thanks for sharing this. It has been adapted into a very popular Irish traditional song that goes by the name the sick note.

[@peggs1]

many many thanks for posting . amazing stuff , way ahead of its time.

[@Zerbey]

Heard this tale many times and in many different versions, this is by far the best rendition.

[@umedavk2011]

Thank you Colin for this upload. I've been looking for this for quite a while. I first heard it in 1968 and it is just as funny now as it was then.

[@andread3203]

I never realized this joke was so old! Brilliant!

[@tonyludlow2871]

Just rediscovered this after many years. Genius.

[@scopex2749]

Superb timing...the great Gerard Hoffnung👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@londonscot1]

Excellent. Hoffnung was brilliant. A real polymath. We need his like today. It's 50 years this year (2009) since his early death. It was good to see him recognised at the BBC's Last Night of the Proms, with a concerto for vacuum-cleaners and orchestra.

[@Rebel9668]

OMG, I heard thos one sunday night on National Public Radio about 20 years ago and have been searching for it ever since! Ty Ty Ty :D

[@christopherphillips8063]

I dare anyone to keep a straight face listening to this absurdly silly story. BRILLIANT!

[@davidrheap]

Have laughed till I hurt for nearly 60 years at this/

[@beeble2003]

David Heap Or, as the tabloid press would phrase it, "Gerard Hoffnung caused me 60 YEARS of pain"

[@alexfarrus7338]

beeble2003 .....good show !

[@drgreensteam]

Ditto. I was nearly sick laughing the first time I heard this.

[@peterahazlewood]

It's just unceasingly funny. I swear I laugh harder every time I put it on again because I know what's coming 😂 just a master of timing and understatement.

[@Guitartzt]

Such a brilliant man. His musical compositions and drawings are also fabulous.

[@ittopitto4300]

Yes! Alice. He was a very talented man - it's sad he died shortly after, both for him and for us.

[@flagsforworship]

an absolute classic! I've had the vinyl recording for years but now nothing to play it on! Thank you so much for posting this.

[@peterlittlehorse]

it does not matter how often i hear it, but i laugh every.time.

[@GraemeLaird]

This is a priceless as it was the first time I heard it.

[@deanlaffan2390]

My mother still has this on a vinyl 78

[@MINXC3]

I can't remember hearing this before. It had me crying with laughter - brilliant comedy.

[@ittopitto4300]

I think, that if you'd heard it before, you'd never forget it. I can still remember the first time I heard it, sometime around 1959.

[@Steinwaygrande]

I have the Gerard Hoffnung CD collection and this is in the collection. Bloody hilarious !

[@hayling122]

I have just remembered I have this on a vinyl record. This is just wonderful.

[@john111257]

Still sounds so good today..totally brilliant

[@johngal56]

I heard this too on Radio 4 this morning and laughed out loud through my housework! Very funny indeed.

[@katamix2597]

showed this to my physics teacher and he absolutely lost it XD

[@FuzzyConstant]

My dad heard this as a young boy on the radio over 50 years ago. He says its as funny today as it was then.

[@pamelasmith9033]

Listened to this lament many times since it was first aired, and it still makes me laugh until it hurts.

[@boneyhard4612]

My sides ache with laughter. Glorious stuff.

[@brianjacobi]

Thanks so much for posting. Still so funny after all these years.

[@stephenrandall3551]

We had a chap when I was in the army who used to do a rendition of this, standing on a table in the NAAFI after a few beers. Absolutely hilarious.

[@avwill]

an old favorite - great to hear it again

[@execelsior999]

I remember hearing him on the radio as a child. He was ALWAYS entertaining and hilarious. The only other raconteur of great value, like him, was the wonderful Peter Ustinov. I can not think of anyone today with the talents of these two men ........... that isn't to say that they do not exist .......... its just that I can not think of any!

[@Daytona2]

I'd never heard of this until I read Ian Messiter's obituary - the creator of One Minute Please and Just a Minute. Thanks for uploading :)

[@rowleyrosie]

Brilliant - first heard this many years ago but it is every bit as funny now. Thanks for uploading. The other funny one I remember was his ironic guide for foreign tourists - "Upon entering a railway carriage it is the British custom to shake every passenger by the hand" and "every brothel displays a blue lamp" (from the days when police stations did so, of course!) Lovely stuff, I shall seek out more!

[@aubreyaub]

Heard it on the radio, reckon back in the 1950's. Nearly forgot it, but a mate has just told me of his first para flight. Without his permission I attach it here, his words. Me mates name is Stu. ""My next flight was undertaken without the use of a tow boat - once bitten, twice shy! I tied the tow rope to a big coconut tree and we used the constant blowing wind to give me lift. At first the wind didn't seem to have enough strength to lift me clear of the ground. The chute inflated and lifted just enough to hoist me about 20 feet into the air. The gust then dropped off and I then hit the ground hard. Not enough time to recover before the whole process was repeated! I swung like a pendulum at the end of the tow rope under the chute until it got tired of banging me into the ground side to side and suddenly lifted me to great heights. limited only by the length of the tow rope! That's when the fun really started! The wind gusted so strongly I could clearly hear the stitching coming apart in the chute's seams! The release toggle was too far ahead of me, just out of reach so I couldn't hit the release! Got about 6 blokes from the resort to hang onto the rope in an endeavour to pull me down! The bloody rope broke and I and the chute. me still attached, took off skywards! I managed to get back to terra firma at the end of the island in a Bay we used to drop our rubbish - sharks! I obviously survived.""

[@ittopitto4300]

Trying to out-do G Hoffnung eh! - It doesn't pay.

[@spatslondon3888]

A masterclass in comedy timing!

[@Tomlan2007]

Superb. Every time I hear it, it always makes me laugh :-)) Thanks for posting.

[@luigizullo6947]

I didn't think that it was possible to marry science, physics and humour but this does it perfectly to my amazement. Pardon my literary ignorance.

[@seancoffey829]

The best comedy results from good timing best example ever huge talent