The Core Wound of Growing Up Gay (and what to do about it)

Рет қаралды 5,999

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 33

@jameswalsh8754 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing this video. It really spoke to me and I think it’s going to help me to deal with a lot of issues. I’m currently dealing with. You guys are incredible. I watch your videos all the time and I really appreciate you being there for all of us, I hope y’all can find peace of mind and health.

@egroder369 Жыл бұрын

I had a teacher who was very wounded, a workaholic who was cruel, even sadistic in dealing with his students. To the outside world he was a pearl as you describe, yet he sank slowly into alcoholism later in life, feeling he had become an outsider in his profession. By some miracle I got my degree in the prescribed time, but it took me decades to get over the trauma of dealing with this very troubled yet charismatic personality. I wonder if any thought has ever been given to the harm done by "high functioning homosexuals" who are extroverts giving ulcers to others not getting them.

@tolstoy431 Жыл бұрын

INDEED you shine a light in this delicate matter.....and these attatchment issues WILL have a major influence in the way we share relationships.....

@desfrancis2543 Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for this super insightful illuminating exploration. So much makes sense to me now about things I just took for granted were weird quirks of mine. So much to delve into but you've definitely inspired me to go so much deeper and find the diamond that I've always believed is there rather than accept the messaging that there's something wrong with me.

@GayMenGoingDeeper Жыл бұрын

Thanks for this beautiful comment.😍

@AsAmsterdam Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for these videos. 😭❤ ugh

@SEACRUZNY Жыл бұрын

I wonder how watching "The Wizard Of Oz" for the first time as an adult would affect you as an empath. ❤ Thank you both for the conversation.

@tolstoy431 Жыл бұрын

For me the Wizard of Oz is kind of a Healing movie......I watched it a million times.....whenever I feel down....it feels like Coming HOME.....

@firouz256 9 ай бұрын

I was different than my brothers from a very young age. As a middle eastern gay boy life was challenging from a very young age. Fortunately I never was sent to a kindergarten so I was never unprotected and was bullied by other kids until I started going to school. But I was bullied by my brothers sometimes, which was painful. I heard my family talking about me especially my mum, because she was worried about me. At the end of the day the fact that I was different made everyone give me more attention, care, love and protection most of the time. I am a handsome, educated, healthy and smart gay man now. I worked very hard on myself and I am willing and able to accept my childhood - including the good and the bad. But nobody has hurt me more than other gay men. From a very young age I felt unprotected, misunderstood, abused and rejected by other gay men. It hurts so much more than being hurt by straight people. The amount of abuse that most gay relationships are infused with (I partly understand why but don't take it) is insane! What we do to each other in every sense of the word leaves me speechless. I still feel very uncomfortable in strictly gay locations, have barely any gay friends, have trust issues with other gay men and try to stay away from the scene and everything that goes along with it! As a social worker I reconciled myself with my "gayness" by working for LGBTQ refugees. So I can live out care, brotherhood, togetherness and community without being abused or exploited. I am happily gay and very happy to be who I am yet if I had a child who was gay, I would be very very very worried about them.

@johnperrigo6474 Жыл бұрын

Thank you very much. I logged in 30 minutes after you started and will go back to the beginning now.

@gw6482 Жыл бұрын

Even though I appreciate the effort and experience shared, I thought the episode would focus more on personal experiences rather than technical definitions. Bit getting informed is always good, cheers!

@alexjosephstudio4427 Жыл бұрын

Thank you x

@space_eko Жыл бұрын

“Vibrations”? Idk, seems like a lot of really great discourse here but then there’s a lot of new age guru stuff. Also, what motivated a lot of queer people to “mask” is probably a feeling of a lack of safety, real or imagined.

@thestickgatherer Жыл бұрын

This discussion came at exactly the right time yesterday. I listened to it and learned more about myself. Thank you.

@traiguen1000 9 ай бұрын

Wow guys!! Thanx the Lord above I found you!! Because Im going to back to Heaven with Granny, Great granny and Great great granny, after my work is done down on Earth. I saw it in a dream. And yes: to Heaven as a gay man. (In other lives I’ve been a straight man, in others a straight woman.)

@kennethbailey9853 Жыл бұрын

Thank You for this particular Topic.

@TruthQuest4700 Жыл бұрын

WOW! It's inspiring to know your brand of gay does exist! Conformity for the sake of "fitting in" (tribalism) plays into the relationship dynamic of codependent people-pleasing while relinquishing one's sense of authenticity. Yes! Breath really helps me to reel in anxiety.

@carlorizzo827 Жыл бұрын

Thanks so much Fellows...so much loss, disruption. Someday you may discourse on bisexuality. I was forbidden to lust for girls & boys equally. Many seem to believe the bi is merely still half in the closet. That's naive. First i thought bisexuality was the liberated sexuality. Later i thought it's the wishy-washy sexuality. Finally i find it's schizoid sexuality. I'm unable to pairbond with either. In some way, women are more dangerous: my nuclear females were violent. How about "bi-phobia"? I learned to never mention it. I have it! To have homo-sex i want a fully gay guy. I have enough to worry about, than if the guy i'm with would prefer a woman

@traiguen1000 9 ай бұрын

When we still lived in Matriachy it wasn’t unsual that a shamn would have a wife and a husband, beeing the shaman straight man or woman or homosexual or lesbian. And by the way, studies say only 3 to 5 % of the population to be fully straight or homosexual, most of it beeing bisexual more or less in different periods of their lives (gay as young, straight as an adult or viceversa, as well as bisexula the entire life).

@josephblue4135 2 ай бұрын

Man, I listened to 30 minutes of this and I don't identify with anything being said. I'm a 70-year-old gay man and I don't get this psycho-babel!

@GayMenGoingDeeper 2 ай бұрын

Thank you for giving it a listen and for sharing your thoughts. We understand that not every conversation will resonate with everyone, and that’s okay. We appreciate your feedback and are always open to hearing different perspectives. Wishing you all the best!

@meropale Жыл бұрын

Can't stand Eckhart Tolle.

@carlorizzo827 Жыл бұрын

I tend to agree, did not read any of his books, just the videos quickly turned me off. Not sure why. When someone declares we can choose happiness, or choose to manifest stuff, i just feel defective. And there's no arguing, they dismiss me as resisting. If it were that easy, we wouldn't need therapy.

@meropale Жыл бұрын

Eckhart Tolle is such a hack. I started reading his book but thought it was such crap. It's almost insulting. I'm not even sure what "choose happiness" means :)

@user-sf5fk6ox4c Жыл бұрын

@@meropaleHe's also antigay

@gideonros2705 2 ай бұрын

@@carlorizzo827To choose happiness is poor choice of words and someone like Eckhart Tolle should be more sensitive when wording his philosophical/spiritual teachings, considering what kind of hell life on this planet can be for a lot of people. But….and I’m not defending him as a follower, never read his books or watched anything besides short videos, and I can tale you that choosing happiness is not a concept but comes from deep experience. I’m 43 years old and I can say as a gay man that most of my adult life I was alone, depressed, unemployed and clueless. The only thing that made me driven in life is a sense that there must be something more to life the just whatever our particular destiny is. This was also my reason for not being able to socialise well because everyone was ok with the day to day grind. I’m just givid the background to what was the most important event in my life. I was in Munich looking after my niece. That evening like always I decided to meditate, which I was doing in ernest for 45 days. My practice was deep belly breathing, in Japanese tradition it is called tanden breathing. Days before I noticed an internal shift. I would experience blissful states of being while meditating and after. This evening as I was breathing I noticed that every breath was literally filling me with the sense of gleeful happiness, spontaneous and continuous. My breathing felt as though I was breathing what fuels the universe. After my meditation I sat in the dark, alone, everyone was asleep and these words came spontaneously to me: I WILL BE HAPPY! As someone who has been depressed and dejected all his life such a thinking was not only foreign but literally unthinkable. But here, in this moment I felt the power of these words. I felt the power of my breath an being. What I realised that evening was that I am a spiritual being and happiness is not something I get from the circumstances of my life, we derive pleasure and meaning from life of course, but true inner happiness is something we can choose. It left me glowing in the dark, alone with the realisation that no power or authority exists over my being. This is my testimony. It’s not something I’ve read or seen but a living testimony that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. We can choose how to feel.(which is different from choosing WHAT we feel which we mostly can’t control and should not since many positive experiences come from spontaneous unfolding of life)

@randomsanta Жыл бұрын

Thank you for this important exploration. Now, OMG! I wish people (such as you) would not use "RIGHT?" rhetorically !!! If you just said something, it is said. It is unnecessary, distracting, and actually dishonest and manipulative to, in effect, demand that I agree with you before you move on to the rest of your words, and as the speaker, create a framework in which BY moving on, there is an implication that I HAVE agreed with you. This practice has been spreading for years, and this is the first time I have said anything about it. OMG!