The Curse of the Lady of Shalott | TateShots

[@Tate]

What details in this paintings stand out to you?

[@SportsMetalUSA]

For me it’s the fact that waterhouse painted the story beginning from the end, starting with the lady coming closer to death, then breaking the curse, and then before the curse is broken... Also maybe it’s not the place to write it but I would like to say that I’m proud to work on a translation of the original poem into French And I might post the traduction in the comment section once it’s finished On the web i only found one official traduction (by Joachim Zemmour) but i really wanted to write my own

[@BatDadx]

The Lady’s somber yet determined expressiveness, her long and beautiful red hair billowing in the wind, Waterhouse’s use of color and the way in which these colors have made it almost as if the Lady is glowing amidst her fated demise; these are all details that standout to me the most. I have been fascinated and allured both by Waterhouse’s work and the alluring legend of the Lady of Shallot from a young age and continue into my adult life day dreaming of legendary Arthurian middle ages. Thank you for this summary Tate. ❤️

[@nancywallace9162]

LipstickLara was the day you got your picture of the glass I hope your day was beautiful

[@beanstaIkjack]

I'd like to have known why he took inspiration from poetry, why these tragic female characters, what is he trying to tell/ show us, what locations he painted at, the sketches for his finished pieces, did he buy costumes for his models and who else has done similar in choosing subjects from literature?

[@cloudsquadgaming2728]

E

[@theresaalexander4142]

She left the web She left the loom She made three paces through the room She saw the water lilies bloom She saw the helmet, and the plume As she looked down to Camelot. The pivotal stanza of the poem. She acted - at last - for herself, and, from that point on, lived. Until she died.

[@binghamguevara6814]

In a pre-photography age, Shalott must have looked like documentary-fantasism, the kind you see in the Lord of the Rings films. Even her fourth-wall-breaking vulnerable glare at the camera looks similar to modern actresses staring into a camera. Amazing painting.

[@Sam-0827]

Yes it always looked like a vogue photoshoot

[@Are_We_Having_Tea]

Photographs had been around for a long time before these were painted. In fact 1888 was the year that Eastman released paper-backed film. Making photography, lighter, easier and cheaper.

[@keirfarnum6811]

Except it wasn’t pre-photography. The 1880s was several decades after the invention of photography. It’s medieval atmosphere is attributable to the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood and its interest in glorifying the medieval period and looking back to before “realism” (like Turner; although “realism” relates more to subject matter than style in his case since he was somewhat painterly at the end of his career due to failing eye sight); hence the “pre-Raphael” term. Even those that liked the pre-Raphaelite works cringed at the name though. There’s a tv series called “Desperate Romantics” that depicts the pre-Raphaelites in their beginning; although it takes plenty of artistic license of course.

[@dorothywillis1]

I always thought it was not especially Lancelot, but real life in general. He was just the last straw. She is safe in her tower as long as she experiences life at second-hand. Sort of like someone staying in their home during lockdown and having a virtual life watching TV or going on the internet. If she faces real life she also faces the dangers of real life. She chooses reality over virtual reality and it kills her.

[@JasminTheDreamer]

Maybe this is about accepting that life ends deadly anyway. So why stay safe and experience life from second hand just because it appears like it has more safety? One of my interpretations of both the poem and the painting is "Some things are worth dying for". Since she sang in her last breaths, I firmly believe the lady was happy- probably so much happier than ever before in that tower.

[@monmothma3358]

Great point. Real life is harsh, and some are better equipped for it than others. There are those who prefer experiencing it more or less second hand. Dream. Study. Read. Write. Watch.

[@guapelea]

If only reality was a more clear and distinct thing, I guess everybody would happily choose it.

[@monmothma3358]

@@guapelea Or maybe less depressing and threatening? I'm not getting what you mean by more clear and distinct, could you elaborate? (Genuinely curious.)

[@guapelea]

@@monmothma3358 Contact with what we call reality is not, as such, an objective of our mind and it is a serious mistake to take the contrary for granted. In classical ways of thinking, one of the main functions of the mind is to perceive, elaborate and interpret what we have in front of us. We can verify in ourselves that this axiom does not correspond to the truth. We often misinterpret what comes to our consciousness, even terribly, terribly wrong, and this because we prefer to translate wrongly, to decode information incorrectly, rather than to take nothing out of it and admit to ourselves that we do not know what to do about it, or to derive uncomfortable conclusions that unbalance our position within that chimera we call reality.

[@worstninjaever1]

I had no idea 'The Lady of Shalott' was part of a trilogy. Now I am gonna have to beg my headmaster for high quality prints of the first 2 paintings to hang in my classroom as well. Great video.

[@StevenCampbell1955]

You may enjoy this; kzbin.info/www/bejne/sGqcgmaZaLt8es0

[@maryinsentani6801]

I cannot separate this poem and these paintings from the delightful image of Anne Shirley and her friends re-enacting the Lady floating down the river. Forever delightful!

[@monmothma3358]

Apparently the author, Lucy Maud Montgomery, was passionate about Tennyson's poem

[@accountngpagmamahal]

Love that scene! Thanks to her, I learned about the lady of Shallot.

[@backoflies]

god the subtle details are astonishing. the swallows flying away, the poppy in the reflection in the mirror but not actually there where it should be. i don't know why i am constantly so taken aback when realizing that there is just so much more than the obvious in paintings.

[@rysiaandrade9213]

Her hair is the most compelling to me. Dark and pulled back by her hands, then forgotten about in her distraction with Sir Lancelot then, stunningly, flowing free around her in bright tresses

[@theothertonydutch]

She looks a lot like an Iranian friend of mine. It's a bit uncanny!

[@JasminTheDreamer]

Maybe this is about accepting that life ends deadly anyway. So why stay safe and experience life from second hand just because it appears like it has more safety? One of my interpretations of both the poem and the painting is "Some things are worth dying for". Since she sang in her last breaths, I firmly believe the lady was happy- probably so much happier than ever before in that tower.

[@spiralpython1989]

My absolute favourite art work. I love her physical fragility contrasting with her resolve. I love the details of the tapestry. I purchased a framed print in 1985. It still hangs in my bedroom. And the poem inspired me to study English literature. My other favourite painting is Millais’s Ophelia.

[@AndreaMorbelli]

can you believe they are both hanging in the same room? is like heaven 😰

[@keirfarnum6811]

It doesn’t compare to John Everett Millais’ “Ophelia” though. The level of detail in Millais’ paintings are astounding. Shallot is good, but I prefer Ophelia.

[@bulledereve9824]

Amazing painting 😍 I purchased a beautiful bespoke bracelet with Elaine in her boat and a few lines from the poem ( Down she came and found a boat ... )

[@Paul.Morgan]

My all time favourite painting. I saw the original in London and was mesmerized by it.

[@YskarAlbumLuna]

You saw the best painting in the world, with your eyes? That's a privilege, you have no ideia.

[@bulledereve9824]

How lucky you are ! I hope I'll see this painting too, it's absolutely mesmerizing.

[@viewview6832]

My favorite also

[@kahldrialeighsun1208]

Loreena Mckennitt sings this poem in a beautiful musical arrangement that sounds like it was composed at the bygone age it was written. ❤

[@historychick5947]

I wasthinking of that song as I watched this! It's so beautiful

[@roden70]

I agree. The song goes perfect with the paintings.

[@bulledereve9824]

The song is absolutely fabulous ❤

[@durchhalter]

It‘s my favorite song of Loreena… hauntingly beautiful!!!

[@Saffron-sugar]

What was the story with Lancelot?! That bloke was like a deadly virus. The Lady of Shalott (Elaine of Ascolat ), the other Elaine ( Elaine of Corbenic, the mother of Galahad ) and Queen Guinevere. He wasn't exactly the ideal friend or father either.

[@victorianidetch]

Yes, he was a bit sketchy for all of his perfection.

[@hd-xc2lz]

Obviously good in the sack, as well as THE bad boy of his era (or cared little for propriety in a world suffocated by courtly etiquette), and likely had a large cache of stories to tell.

[@westzed23]

Lancelot thought that he was the pure knight to find the Holy Grail. Then all the messes he created left him not so pure. His wife never betrayed him and raised their son alone, Galahad was the pure knight to find it.

[@glynth]

@@westzed23 Which was originally Percival.

[@westzed23]

@@glynth yes, they do change up through the oral tradition.

[@rosemarywaldie4958]

Someone gifted us her Lady of Shalott rose today I pray this rose is happy in our garden ❤️🙏

[@schizoidboy]

In a roundabout sense the fact she could only see the world from a mirror and thus not enjoy life itself. It almost seems like a release from the curse that it ends up fulfilled and before she dies she makes something of a symbolic escape.

[@whitesquirrel4131]

- Woman in paintings 1 and 2 look as the same woman. Hair color is same, facial features look similar enough to say this is the same person. Third picture is a different woman. - paintings 1 and 2 both have a feeling of her sitting almost inside a cylinder, a round room shape, with the round mirror in the background. The third, being outside, with a very different looking woman does not even feel like it is part of a set, yet the devices from paintings 1 and 2 seem to be present. Paintings 1 and 2 are claustrophobic dark and make one feel enclosed. Painting 1 the woman is leaning back as if to stretch, tired of being cooped up. Painting 2 she is hunched over as if there is not enough room to stand. Painting 3 she looks far more free but freedom has had a price. The season is autumn, so a dying season. The leaves falling, the dead reeds. She has a look on her face that speaks of loss, hopelessness, unable to change course. How perfect to be in a boat with no rudder, no oar. This is life as it should be, you cannot see tomorrow except what you bring with you.God directs your path and you are helpless to defend against this. The curse of God, your freedom is life's fleeting moments until your death - this seems to be an allegory about taking chances, that what seems to be a condemnation by fulfilling a curse is actually acceptance that life inevitably must end, that you must step outside and live life until you die, for you will die anyways. Were you trapped in a room with a mirror until you grew tired of shadows, knowing full well you will pass away, one day, no matter what, still let this curse hold you away from living? It's funny as these painters never knew of virtual reality and the terrible curse it brings.

[@MementoMorituri]

She broke my heart. I went to the Tate Britain expressly to see her but she had been loaned out to another place. But Millais's Ophelia comforted me in my distress.

[@scotthart3617]

On a trip to London many years ago, I saw this on the wall at the Tate. Enormous. I had seen it a hundred times before, but only ever poster sized. I'll never forget that moment.

[@corvuscorone7735]

Why, how large is it?

[@ropeburnsrussell]

A lovely painting, such a sad story. Thankyou.

[@gjungart]

Love the poem and paintings so much. I've been thinking about it for years, since we read it in school. To me the poem has several layers of metaphor, I started to think about it as an allegory for ego-death. If you leave your bias, your own personal point of view behind, (the tower), and see the world as it truly is, without any bias, (leaving the tower), you can't be the same person anymore. A sort of death.

[@marianrose1259]

Interesting✨😊✨

[@venezoom]

How exquisite and elegant is Pre Raphaelite art.................. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

[@priarose]

Love the little animations that bring the art to life!

[@AndriaBieberDesigns]

I love John William Waterhouse paintings

[@gypsygem9395]

Thank you so much for explaining this! We have a print of the boat scene hanging up at work. I always thought it was based on Shakespeare's Ophelia, never dreaming it was the Lady of Shallot (a poem I used to read a lot as a young teenager!). I also didn't know there were two other paintings. Fascinating!

[@mccallosone4903]

ive always been a waterhouse fan. his paintings are just pleasing to look at, with a lot to see and decipher

[@spacemissing]

In spite of the poem's structure being difficult to cleanly set to music, Loreena McKennitt did a creditable job of it. Sometime when you have eleven and a half minutes to spare, give it a go.

[@SportsMetalUSA]

🇫🇷French Translation🇫🇷 part 1 La rivière court de part et d’autre Elle donne vigueur aux champs - les nôtres L’orge comme le seigle prospèrent merveilleusement ; Un chemin coupe à travers champs Vers la forêt de tours que l’on nomme Camelot C’est un chemin fort pratiqué Que toujours l’on emprunte le regard captivé Par la beauté des nymphéas ceignant cette île dans l’eau glacée Il s’agit là de l’île Shalott Les saules ont perdu leur éclat et les trembles frémissent - les pauvres, ils ont si froid Le vent lui-même frissonne comme s’il croyait mourir Balayant l’éternelle, unique et puissante vague Autour de l’ile sur la rivière Suivant son cours vers Camelot Quatre murs gris et quatre tours grises dominent ses rives peuplées de fleurs ; Cette ile comme un boudoir est plongée dans le silence Renfermant la demeure d’une âme en déshérence La Dame de Shalott Sous un rideau de saules, des chevaux sont à l’œuvre C’est à peine s’ils progressent ; quel n’est pas leur malheur Trainant de lourdes barges d’un invariable effort Cependant qu’une chaloupe s’élance toutes voiles dehors En direction de Camelot Mais qui l’a jamais vu faire un signe de la main, Qui l’a jamais surpris au travers d’une croisée Sait-on seulement si elle existe, La dame de Shalott ? Il faut s’être levé pour l’avoir entendu Et parti pour les champs avant le jour venu La rivière porte en elle, qui serpente à l’envie L’écho d’un chant joyeux, ravissement de l’ouïe Vers les mille et une tours surgissant de Camelot Sous un rayon de lune le moissonneur s’échine Là-haut sur la colline que recouvrait son champ A l’arrêt cependant qu’une mélodie s’élève, il écoute et murmure : « C’est la Dame de Shalott »

[@SportsMetalUSA]

French Translation part 2 C’est à la tapisserie qu’elle consacre ses jours De même que pour ses nuits, elle s’y attelle toujours Un sort lui fut jeté qui lui défend de voir Ce qu’il y a au dehors, au-delà de ses murs Elle ne peut voir Camelot Elle ne sait pas quel châtiment lui destine-t-on précisément Alors elle tisse continuellement ; Peu d’autres choses la préoccupent, La dame de Shalott Dans un miroir elle voit le monde Mais uniquement sous forme d’ombres Elle y voit la grand-route qui lui parait si proche Et qui descend au loin, là-bas, Jusqu’à Camelot Ici défilent des paysans qui affichent tous un air grognon Et là se glisse dans la rivière le trou béant d’un tourbillon Des filles vont au marché la face voilée sous un chaperon La foule est passagère sous les fenêtres de Shalott Un page en livrée rouge s’est fait éclabousser Par une carriole qui tout à l’heure a manqué l’écraser Les jouvencelles présentes à bord n’ont pas manqué de s’esclaffer Et n’ont pas l’air préoccupées par l’empressement de leur cocher A débouler vers Camelot Elle voit parfois dans son miroir se refléter des chevaliers, Aucun ne porte son mouchoir ni ne s’arrête pour la saluer Elle n’a personne à qui parler des sentiments qui la traversent La dame de Shalott Elle n’est pas triste de son sort, Trouvant toujours plaisir à coudre Même le spectacle bien silencieux De funérailles en procession Plumes, torches, et musique s’éloignant de Camelot De jeunes mariés au clair de lune Se baladant main dans la main « J’en ai assez de voir des ombres » Dit la dame de Shalott

[@sakshi_ch]

@@SportsMetalUSA thanks you. Read this in high school still cannot find that book it felt so good to immerse again

[@neosandy]

Waterhouse, one of the greatest artist ever, and my personal favorites.

[@A-Minor-Music]

The use of red & white which draw the eye to the lady amid the earthy background colors.

[@deenamickelson2454]

Thank you! I was familiar with the beautiful poem and the paintings, but not some of those hidden meanings in the paintings.

[@sophierosebisou8420]

“God in His mercy, lend her Grace.”

[@kurlykaitlyn]

My favorite painting!!!

[@shiao3990]

pleaes make more of this!

[@doberman1ism]

Thank you for the interpretation of the painting. The story behind her is very interesting and sad.

[@marcosdouglas4108]

Absolutely make more please. Well done!

[@christinewedge8980]

I love the Arthurian stories. Thank you for the insightful interpretations of these pictures. The Alfred Lord Tennyson poem is one of my favorites. I would recommend the musical version of the poem sung by Lorena McKennitt.

[@bulledereve9824]

This song is a gem ❤ Absolutely fascinating. And Loreena's voice ... wow ...

[@stm31415]

I'm glad y'all adjusted the narration, which previously called the weaving shuttles model boats, but it causes us viewers a little confusion when you reupload a video with such subtle changes and don't mention what's happening and why.

[@Tate]

Hi Sam. You are absolutely right - we spotted an error in the previous version and have now uploaded a better version which clarifies the weaving ‘shuttles’. Thanks for watching and sorry for the confusion!

[@BatDadx]

Tate If I may, I would like to suggest adding annotations or captions to your videos where an error is present, in order to protect the views and engagement so you can save yourself the hassle of deleting and re-uploading.

[@treintjefop]

I bought a copy of the painting of the Lady in the boat, in the Tate in 1982! I had a poster of it once in the 70ths but that got lost. I love this painting! And I love how the lyrics were put to music by Loreena McKennitt.

[@morganprint]

There is a beautiful song rendition of the poem by Loreena McKennitt

[@hanawana]

the narrator has the most lovely voice

[@noahtheeditor8650]

Well summarized and excellent pointers to details I otherwise dismissed

[@ajmittendorf]

This is a great commentary on a great poem, and I appreciate you showing all of Waterhouse's paintings that things that illustrate the poem. Speaking as a poet myself, however, I'm really displeased with how you rewrite the poem so that the rhyming word of one line is not at the end of the line where it was written, but you actually move it to the beginning of the following line.Tennyson not only would NOT approve, but I think he would likely be offended, If not also hurt.

[@ix-Xafra]

Waterhouse's works are amazing!

[@jeremyalvarez1939]

BEAUTIFUL

[@muscanboy123]

I've seen those paintings many times. Never knew they where mirrors and not windows. Am I the only that never noticed that?

[@theothertonydutch]

Yes.

[@holyshihtzu5625]

This would be a sad sad tale to be sure... if only I could stop thinking of onions the whole time!

[@hanawana]

so beautifully put together

[@stephenroberts7459]

Thank you, that was superb!

[@LadyOfShaIott]

I fully endorse this video, just beautiful.

[@Bergerons_Review]

I clicked on the video to find your comment. ;)

[@LadyOfShaIott]

@@Bergerons_Review Ah thank you, I am honoured. Always a pleasure to see you 🙂

[@peterfitzgerald53]

Access to an education ,I never really received ,many thanks for a riveting video

[@anneandreemadeleine7251]

Thanks a lot :-)

[@hanawana]

editing and effects not to be taken for granted !

[@uncatila]

Penelopy did weave by day Then Unravel as she'd pray For her knight who long had strayed

[@vanaals]

Which of the two women is the Lady? The redhead, who appears in the first frame in reflection beside Lancelot? And again, in the third frame sitting in a boat. Or is she the the brunette who is the weaver of the tapestry? I'm going to have to read the poem again to figure it out. Too many years have passed since I first read it and much has been forgotten.

[@masudora]

thx for this.

[@rachiemeowpow5236]

Gorgeous.

[@zombieluka]

I got recommended this video after listeninging to Shalott by Emilie Autumn. Sweet!

[@user-ZOOBA_H]

ذي عندنا احنا رابع اعدادي المدرسة دزتها النا و كالت شوفوها بس والله تأثرت عبالك حقيقة😂🔪

[@loriwilson4933]

I have a large print of her in the boat up on my wall. My eldest daughter bought it for me because she knew I liked Waterhouse and the poem. I also like the adaptation to song by Loreena McKennitt.

[@reuben8912]

Love this piece 😍

[@hanawana]

i love these videos so much !

[@PropaneWP]

Great video. This art deserves 4K resolution, though.

[@yeshayahuhomberger2079]

You need to check a 70’s band called Atmosphera, prog rock, their first album -it may also be called their only one- is titled The Lady of Shalott. The new reprinted version has the painting as a cover.

[@yonathanasefaw9001]

Goregeous painting!

[@kimsherlock8969]

Wonderful Paintings To my understanding depicting the Prison of a maid alone Repuncel in the tower concealed and alone waiting to be free by the knight

[@tylergriffsmith]

Brilliant analysis

[@HomespunWisdom]

Tennyson's poem was a parody of popular stories in his day which extolled the virtues of romantic historical fiction (base on Arthurian legend) as if preferable to reality. The satirical aspect of the poetry usually takes a back seat to the evocative imagery which inspired artists in a very different way once read out of temporal context.

[@charcolew]

You'll have to give a few examples of the parody and satire, I had it down for straight Romantic-era froth roughly on a par with Lamartine's "The Lake".

[@HomespunWisdom]

@@charcolew One example lies in that the nature of the curse is an act of self-determination. 😆

[@hypnos5132]

fascinating

[@KevTheImpaler]

I thought the tapestry hanging off the boat was good. A lot of work went into that.

[@yonathanasefaw9001]

Magnificent!

[@bruceedward9955]

Very gooooood

[@vaninapiana3371]

Excelente!!!

[@paulnicolosi4792]

Well done

[@ivannaheredia5909]

loved it

[@ElBlargho]

1890s fanart was on a different league.

[@lightgiver7311]

Have you ever heard of Loreena McKennit. She put the poem to music.

[@bulledereve9824]

The song is fantastic. Loreena has an amazing voice.

[@genreofstubby]

the painting that looks like me... i didnt know this stuff! cool!

[@amarpreetsingh7066]

Most kind

[@fergussaint-john2535]

so interesting

[@GabyPivet]

I have always loved this painting and had no idea it was linked to William Waterhouse’s other works. Just one question I have, is why has her hair colour changed in this painting and darker in the other 2? Is this due to time?

[@jsmcguireIII]

The final stanza is very important as "society" tries to interpret the sacrifice, and is somehow forgiven for it: They cross'd themselves, their stars they blest, Knight, minstrel, abbot, squire, and guest. There lay a parchment on her breast, That puzzled more than all the rest, The wellfed wits at Camelot. 'The web was woven curiously, The charm is broken utterly, Draw near and fear not,-this is I, The Lady of Shalott.'

[@norvanti539]

please do Doña Joanna the Mad by Francisco Pradilla Ortiz --- such a terrific painting for such a somber moment

[@DonnaSnyder]

The first two appear to be the same woman, with dark hair. The third looks thinner and ref headed. Did Waterhouse use sisterly different models? In any event, thank you for this video of such beauty.

[@AliciaB.]

I'm fairly sure the model was always his wife. The lady looks a bit different simply because the 3 paintings were not meant to be seen together (also the 3rd one was painted first and the other 2 much later), and because red hair contrasts much better against the dark background than dark hair would have.

[@julianaa7665]

She wasn't there when I visited😭. So yes, I was cursed.

[@Tate]

Thanks for watching. Sorry you missed her. She'll be back!

[@dontaylor7315]

"Nameless lady?" I thought her name was Elaine. I seem to remember that from Mallory.

[@isabellafelipedeoliveiraca6698]

I think the narrator means that in Tennyson's poem she is not named, she is referred just as "the lady of Shalott".

[@dontaylor7315]

@@isabellafelipedeoliveiraca6698 I guess that must be why. Thank you😊

[@tronganhvu7614]

Can I have name of the music theme at the end.

[@lanaistheneworange3013]

A poetry hater here concluded that The Lady of Shalott is one of my favorite poems in my syllabus. But I chose Ted Hughes for viva voce exam bcoz Tennyson is too complicated to comprehend his works. Didn't know the existence of painting tho. 😶

[@phatato]

This is a really stupid story but it's mildly amusing, when I was 12 years old we were supposed to write a poem about this painting in my English class and I started the poem with "oh lady of the lake with thy lovely beer belly" and my English teacher was so not impressed and her only comment was "beer belly is NOT poetic" lol. Clearly I was not mature enough to appreciate its beauty and depth

[@TheStephanieAnnFoster]

May I please share this with my British Literature students?

[@billgonzales8978]

I bought this print for 5 dollars at thrift store 20 years ago is it worth any money?

[@gogo1520180]

reupload?

[@mbfrezon]

i think so

[@Tate]

Hello. Yes, we took down the original upload as there was an error in the previous version. Thanks for watching!

[@mbfrezon]

@@Tate I gladly watched it again and was glad for the correction.

[@ileanacraciun1324]

does anyone know song at the end of the video?

[@jammetmalibu]

wondering just what exactly was the curse?

[@monmothma3358]

The paintings & poem are stunning, but in the first one, am I the only one who sees no reflection of the Lady at all in the mirror? I mean, it's not just the poppy who is missing...

[@Droidruid1993]

2:54 press X to doubt

[@bettymae7042]

Can the narrator do a full reading please?

[@kimcruz3889]

Oh wow

[@kitthearty]

Weavers had a mirror mounted above the loom to see what they were making...

[@NurseHarley299]

Anne of Green Gables 💚

[@Madfattdeeb]

As a child I saw her as the perfect image of beauty. So tranquil and one with nature. I knew nothing of her story tragic end. Now, as an adult, I travel through life alone I finally understand. She is me.