The Cursed Battleship FPS from 2012

Come sink my battleship at / oboeshoesgames
Battleship: The Movie: The Game is a product that was developed and released and sold to the public and not once did anybody involved suggest that it should maybe be a game about battleships instead of Call of Duty. I don't know about you, but I think that's beautiful.

[@Killerduck0213]

The military-issue tablet taking forever to load is actually realistic lol. It's not a bug it's a feature!

[@lcpltpow5870]

Not too realistic. It worked several times

[@suieisuiei9219]

@@lcpltpow5870 not not realistic there is no paper work

[@CharlieFoxtrot]

@@lcpltpow5870 not realistic, the batteries lasted longer than 15 minutes

[@leef8433]

Not realistic, the navy still uses walkie talkies, tablet too expensive.

[@adeptusfantasticus]

Damn all of these responses have me on my ass, anyone remember when danger close wasn't a suggestion

[@benjaminbierley2074]

0:45 I'm subscribed to the headcanon that the aliens in the movie weren't actually military but a mining crew who were forced to set down on earth and the entire movie is the US Navy buggering up a first contact situation seven ways from Sunday. It would explain why they came off as underwhelmingly weak for an invasion force, why they often only fired when fired upon, and why their main goal was setting up comms to probably get an SOS out.

[@twiztedmind209]

Normally these things can be chalked up to the aliens not predicting us advancing in technology as fast as we did. We went from shooting metal and wood arrows at eachother to being able to literally wipe the planet clean with nuclear fire in a couple hundred years. They send a crew out when the planet was in the ice age, maybe even when humans had hit the endangered species list, having a population of around 28 thousand people, and they could have easily killed us and taken the planet. But their ship maybe took too long to arrive, or maybe their telescope that allowed them to see our planet functions like ours, in which they saw the past in which we were less technologically advanced and when they invaded, they hit an enemy that was overwhelmingly prepared for them, to the point that were trying to contact their home planet in a last ditch effort to say that they fucked up and were so unprepared for a actual fighting force.

[@dontkickmychick6076]

You're giving the game a better plot than it deserves lmao

[@Rrgr5]

@@dontkickmychick6076 that was the movie original plot... But they cut it away.

[@eageraurora879]

To be fair they did destroy a large amount of Infastructure but I was also suprised at how neutral the aliens reacted. If it was really an invasion they definitely had the technology to just wipe out every one on the island- they'd have no real use for human lives and even at the end, the mother ship was ready to fuck up the mighty mo' till it assumed the battleship was disengaging- hell you see that like once or twice

[@marianog3105]

@@Rrgr5 in the original movie those aliens got their planey destroyed in a war i remember

[@AParticularlyConcernedCitizen]

The funniest part of this was probably oboe not realizing ONI is an actual organization.

[@redred7674]

Holy sh....

[@legomancb12]

🤫

[@kabob0077]

You know too much...

[@teoborges3949]

Can they turn me into a Spartan?

[@Bleakmidwntr850]

@@teoborges3949 unless your 6 no

[@johnnyringo5777]

This game actually could've been really cool if they fleshed out the naval combat

[@PhillyCh3zSt3ak]

That's what World of Warships is for.

[@jobet981]

@@PhillyCh3zSt3ak Which wouldn't come out for 3 years

[@johnnyringo5777]

@@PhillyCh3zSt3ak there would've been fps gameplay too, it just would've been made with the naval aspect in mind more

[@AC-hj9tv]

@@PhillyCh3zSt3ak world of wimbledink

[@archwaldo]

@@jobet981 oh wow you're right.

[@turkur4738]

I'm reminded of Treasure Planet getting an actually good strategy game as a tie-in and the Battleship people definitely could have done that. In fact, I'm willing to bet that they in fact originally wanted to do something different that centered around actual, y'know, battleships but some marketing guy was like "mAkE iT mOrE LiKe CoD".

[@benjaminbierley2074]

Need to make time to play it, but didn't the Treasure Planet strategy game turn out to be good (if REALLY unknown by most), think it had the guys who made Homeworld working on it.

[@scottthewaterwarrior]

@@benjaminbierley2074 Treasure Planet Battle at Procyon is a little too simple at times (movement would have been better if it wasn't point and click) but still a really solid fun game that captures the style of the movie quite well. Actually simple really isn't a good description, the controls and UI are simple, but there is actually a lot of complexity under the hood that the simple controls and UI get in the way of. For example: you can board and capture enemy ships if you hit them with a grapple line and get close, but AI teamates will continue to shoot with cannons unless you give them the "hold fire" command, but then they wont even fire the grapple lines needed to board the other ship!

[@tartrazine5]

The Battleship movie DID get a mediocre Advance Wars ripoff game tie-in... on DS and 3DS.

[@CharlieFoxtrot]

@@tartrazine5 wouldn't that just be Battleship boardgame as a video game? lol

[@scottthewaterwarrior]

@@tartrazine5 Decades before any of this there was also Super Battleship on the SNES and Genesis. It was a weird turn based strategy/real time action hybrid.

[@WK-47]

Imagine the boardroom meeting for this one... 'So, Battleship video game tie-in.' 'Full price at retail, zero budget. Visuals?' 'Make it look 5 years old at launch.' 'Great. Wanna do some coke?'

[@md_vandenberg]

Seriously, the game looked like Black on the PS2. (Also kids, play the game Black if you've never done so.)

[@whatdoinamethis7963]

Honestly, a world of warships like game where you have the us navy ships going against ailen ships would be pretty cool if done right

[@meyers0781]

And BLACK had better frame per second... Stable, even.

[@MidniteMeatBus]

I did a playthrough last night and the game actually has pretty damn good graphics for whag it is. Youd be SHOCKED how much having a TV of that era helps with visuals on 360 and ps3. With my 360 on my modern monitor, the games dont even look like they are from the same generation as opposed to playing on my Sylvania 720p. Playin on my 720p tv makes xbox 360 games look like they cane out yesterday, just with lower framerates obviously

[@blueshit199]

the main menu genuinely looks like something from 2007/06. reminds me of crysis and supreme commander

[@awzthemusicalreviews]

Me 3 months ago after watching gameplay of a History Channel FPS: "This guy has some pretty good content. Might need to check him out some more in the future." Me today: "YAY, NEW OBOE VIDEO!!!"

[@Goldendeed]

Me too!! Every video is hilarious and great content

[@chimpout]

Lit 🔥

[@Jormyyy]

Real ogs know this is a Bionicle channel

[@cargo1522]

why did u format it like a reddit meme just say u like his channel

[@mr.generalissimo5678]

Nah, the realest OGs know this is an Ace Combat channel. Back in my day, Oboeshoes had three digit sub counts and said that war is bad, planes are rad.

[@yourmanjimbo]

I miss when games made awkward mechanics and forced you to use them.

[@MrMagnetron2]

I don’t

[@mrfweebles5580]

They still do, like cods sbmm or battlefields plus system

[@CharlieFoxtrot]

buy From the Depths and you won''t (?) be disappointed

[@rexxmen]

@@mrfweebles5580 plus isn't forced

[@dontkickmychick6076]

@@mrfweebles5580 sbmm is different though, its still COD except now the lobbies are shit

[@kristianmcconville6417]

I used to love this game when I was younger I literally bought it the same day after watching the movie

[@mrcmoney1584]

I remember when I was 12, I got this for charismas instead of Black Ops because this was rated T and CoD was M rated. I still played the shit outta it tho.

[@quinnhunt8763]

That Navy propaganda video at the end just ratcheted the dystopian vibes to 11 "AMERICA'S NAVY: A GLOBAL FORCE FOR GOOD" Idk, I don't really trust people who have to tell me 'we're the good guys!'

[@GamerGuy249]

I like the fact you can look out and see the ships fighting. I mean yeah, it's fucking awful, but I like the little things.

[@HeyItsJonny]

Sony "Our cell processor is the new best processor!" Game Studios "OK cool, how do you use it?" Sony "iDk LoL good luck 🤪"

[@arcanaxiii6665]

Huh. Oddly it reminds me of Starhawk; a third person shooter where you use "tokens" picked up to drop structures on the field

[@username_etc4957]

This game was so inconsequential that Infinity Ward didn’t sue the shit out of Double Helix for using their weapon model.

[@sideswipebl]

5:58 The giant bubble shield stopped them from showing up. Which is weird considering you'd think there was at least one aircraft carrier already inside the bubble shield because it's a default unit in the board game but whatever.

[@namesbruce4126]

what's weird is I actually liked this game when I was growing up

[@crowskiee1820]

ok this game went hard for my childhood don’t diss it

[@histhoryk2648]

0:39 This is an orc from Dark Messiah of Might and Magic

[@Brunswick859]

Ngl, I'm surprised there's no ost for this version yet.

[@FilzFilmMaker]

Fun fact. This game came out the same day as max Payne 3 and Diablo 3.

[@orpheus3357]

Fun fact: this was the first angry Joe review I ever watched

[@schibleh531]

A man of culture.

[@JohnnyBurnes]

"RAMIREZ! Set the coordinates for the aquatic strike!"

[@Hamentsios10]

When i saw the mw2 m4 i was like "No way!"

[@wolfgangamadeus232]

"gain acurracy with time" It's recoil but in REVERSE

[@thelouster5815]

I’d also like to point out the developers were forced to make this game in 7 months, so that explains a lot.

[@ChadKenova]

I don’t miss the screen tear most games had back then on consoles

[@Powerlesscheese]

i love how every youtuber ive seen playing this made a connection to craig

[@homefront1999]

Yes! I've been recommending this game for such a long time!

[@wackinshakin]

I remember i bought this game full price thinking it was gonna be dope asf and i was very very mistaken

[@battlion507]

I believe the reason for the 60 bucks price was for the exclusive, timed coupon (that's printed into the game cover) to go to your movie theater to watch nothing else but BATTLESHIP: THE MOVIE.

[@lawrenwillard9331]

"On a scale from A1 to F10, i give this game like a....C9" lmao! that shit gets funnier the more you think about it!

[@BornofIron]

As a fan of Brink, that jab hurt me... (look, I was a sad, broke teenager when that piece of blurry vaseline smeared mess of peashooting scooting "fun" came out but I put in an absurd amount of hours into it just to say "I'm sorry" to the scheckles I wasted on it.)

[@archangelgv2811]

Remember, Switching to your pistol is always faster than using the iPad

[@jonathanpilcher337]

That part about a mom getting it out of the bargain bin for their kid hit home lmfao

[@farrelhadyan6989]

Lets just say they didn't came in prepared

[@mikejett2733]

I'm starting to think this might be one of those military recruitment games😂

[@Browneyedbakedpotato]

It is Keith Davis! Nice catch man

[@Jahoyhoy]

As a battleship, I am offended.

[@Andy_Sgouros]

At the the end oboe had the same fucking thought as me.IS TAHT KEITH DAVID?!?!

[@boredniko2406]

yes, yes that was Keith David .

[@amirhb7531]

MORE GIVE ME MORE

[@steelbear2063]

Pervy the Purge Trooper?

[@bobblackmesa7914]

The sights on that rifle are disgusting.

[@ToxicBastard]

6:40 oboe forgets that guns are real and actually exist outside of video games

[@ninjabiatch101]

We're gonna, We're gonna crash into each other. XD

[@michaszheroyt518]

Second best shooter game i have ever played in my life, best was army of two 40th day

[@worldsstrongestgamer4033]

the peak of gaming

[@mewantkrinkov4206]

I had this for xbox360 and only played the campaign, i couldn’t beat it because I was dumb

[@D1gg3rX]

3:10 that’s exactly how I got it and was a child

[@Mike-si8rx]

How dare you remind me of Brink in 2022 xD

[@ultgamercw6759]

As far as that gun model being used at the end they likely had permission to use it as both cod and Battleship the game are published by activation.

[@kabardino1337]

Published by activation?

[@chrisboyer2195]

I had the game on xbox360, and I really don’t remember the loading screen being that long, I think perhaps it was a ps3 issue

[@0Synergy]

That framerate holy shit sub 30fps~ is not acceptable anywhere.

[@hungryhedgehog4201]

This is one of the uggliest M4s I've ever seen why does it look like this.

[@Technicolor_geek]

you laugh but i 100% brink

[@kaizokuAUTO]

A good version of this concept is Battlestations: Pacific

[@chungawumba2637]

Me at the end of the video: "Is that Keith David?" Oboe: "Is that Keith David?" We are one

[@SteveMacSticky]

This is a good game

[@DevWo3]

It seems like a fun game

[@Mayonnaisesucks730]

I love brink, but I do hate life

[@ravioli-bamboli]

Who made that wii sports cover? It sounds so nice

[@LanternsLight]

The movie was great though. Loved the aliens.

[@ParadoxDown]

Has he played EDF yet?

[@mikejett2733]

This reminds me of house of the dead

[@Gatorade69]

I believe this game used the Call of Duty MW engine, it was published by Activision I believe so they probzbly modified or reused some assets. So that's probably why they have MW2 models in the concept art.

[@gothscum1031]

I am the only person who still plays brink.

[@tundra5171]

I kind of feel as if this guy wouldn't be half as funny if he didn't have that crackly, high-pitched, "just broke past puberty" voice. It adds flavor to the otherwise stockless humor.

[@CertifiedNEETClassic]

The fighter jets were actually a teaser for the cancelled sequel "Fighter Jet."

[@Krondon-SSR]

*Faiter Jemt*

[@noided4230]

underrated

[@lusca6357]

But the U.S. Air Force decided not to sponsor.

[@devinthierault]

@@lusca6357 Tom Clancy's CAWX

[@dude27lebowski]

Fun fact: Double Helix Games, the people who have developed the Killer Instinct reboot and Silent Hill: Homecoming developed this game. They also developed the godawful Green Lantern movie tie-in game which Angry Joe reviewed.

[@demondarcy3911]

double helix games out here batting zero

[@stealthynaxo]

I wonder how many members of their dev team either blacked out their involment or straight lied about working in double helix whenever they look for work elsewhere because- GOOD GOD, that is not a good portfolio 😂

[@picklerick1948]

Killer instinct is good

[@mattc7420]

I almost said Soldier of Fortune, but that was the sequel's name.

[@funkyjed]

is the green lantern game an fps?

[@xtremecheeseproblem]

My only memory of this game is angry joe screaming "4 hours" in his review

[@theson4569]

same

[@Jorgee-]

First thing I thought of when I saw the thumbnail

[@NotOnLand]

The only scene I remember from that movie was when they needed another ship so a bunch of veterans commandeered the museum boat they served on and got it working. Total boomer circlejerk moment but still cool

[@deadshot_daquiri_remastered]

They just don't only use an 70 year old warship with their veteran crew aboard it. They also fucking drifted it like if the movie suddenly became Initial D and soloed the mothership of the aliens.

[@assvacuum]

all I remember is the aliens being dollar store brutes

[@user_imyarek]

To be fair, that's not just museum boat, that's battleship Missouri. Japanese surrendered at that ship in 1945, it was a flagship for about four decades, last used in Gulf war. Not to mention it hauls nine 16 inch cannons, nothing quite like it was built ever since, it's like an STC from WH40K. No wonder filmmakers tried to make all movie goers to cream their pants with this ship on screen.

[@NotOnLand]

@@user_imyarek Kind of a plot contrivance that the only people left who knew the proper canticle for the ship's machine spirit just _happened_ to be there that day

[@Plasmafox]

I mean, we do keep the Missouri more or less seaworthy and AFAIK it hasn't really been demilitarized... you don't just *find* ammunition for 16 inch cannons or tomahawk launchers though. And it hasn't moved under its own power in like 20 years.

[@NoahZitall]

This is actually the first fps game I ever played. Unfortunately, I later played bl2 which made my standards skyrocket permanently and I got rid of this game a couple years back. Glad I get to experience the nostalgia of this game again filtered through one of my favorite KZbinrs!

[@kabardino1337]

Poor guy

[@Jayalen]

Try Doom

[@thequietstag4366]

Same

[@murgatroydfungus4352]

What's bl2?

[@toiletpapermerchant9310]

@@murgatroydfungus4352 borderlands 2 probably

[@Jormyyy]

I remember being a teenager and being unbelievably hyped for this Battleship movie, so much that spent like 30 bucks of my birthday money on the blu-ray special edition DVD from best buy. I put it on when I got home and it is one of the few movies I ever fell asleep during lmao movie sucked

[@afalconnamedbob4805]

Same, all I remember is them drifting a battleship and balls That's it

[@nigelwigglwattle]

Only good thing in that movie was the scenes with mighty mo

[@locus2427]

This was on of my favorite movies when I was younger lol

[@diamonddigs6206]

All I remembered was the thunderstruck scene

[@bingboompow8861]

Hahah! This comment cracked me up

[@blakew.2327]

Nice touch on the thumbnail having a large flip-up rear sight with no front sight making it completely useles 👏

[@kabardino1337]

I thought the game would be that dumb

[@blakew.2327]

@@kabardino1337 a reasonable assumption

[@glitchmaker010]

I genuinely liked the game actually. I thought it was fun to have that mix between FPS while the ships fought each other on the background

[@wisemankugelmemicus1701]

battlefield 4

[@logankelly6807]

Same

[@ogzephyr4166]

I gotta say, a modern reboot of this idea might actually be fun

[@benedikta.9121]

No. This will always be a terrible idea. Battleship the video game, based on the movie, based on the board game, is one of the stupidest things I have ever heard.

[@matthewjones39]

@@benedikta.9121 🤓🤓🤓🤓

[@robertobrosful]

Who would have guessed that the aliens uses Hyperion Chain Guns, the more you shoot the more accuracy you get.

[@awesomejf03]

Oboe you gotta at least try play Bulletstorm (2011). It's a 7th gen shooter game that lets you grab enemies with your energy leash then shoot them or kick them while they are in slow motion. Gears of War game designer was involved there.

[@I_Am_Wasabi_Man]

but also play the duke nukem mode

[@LanternsLight]

An underrated and awesome game. A sequel would be amazing.

[@alaeriia01]

@@I_Am_Wasabi_Man you mean the cancelled Duke Nukem Forever?

[@FanFanBessie2]

Bulletstorm is AWESOME!!!! 😀👍

[@aceofhearts573]

1:39 if you are in the military and had to use military computers then this part is the most realistic in the entire game

[@stevenx399]

Reminds me when the Russians found NATO issued laptops and these idiots said it had to be fake because the laptop was too old for military use.

[@1randomdude4]

Games like this with good ideas (calling in artillery strikes from battleships and naval combat) that are drowned out by bad execution (the rest of the game) are endlessly fascinating to me. This little series has been full of neat ideas that were brought down by hopelessly flawed executions of those ideas. It's worth it just to see what brand new ideas for cool game mechanics people come up with even if the game itself is bad. Edit: Also I'm almost 100% sure the cutscene at 5:56 was reused footage from the movie lmao

[@josephfranzen5626]

This was identical to my experience as an 11B in the 82nd 1st/504th. Infantryman during the morning, than immediately promoted to Captain in the Navy which was a big leap from being a PFC in the Army and after I single handily operated a destroyer and decimated the enemy I was demoted back to my original branch and MOS. The one thing they got wrong was that the Aliens all looked like that guy who plays Shooter McGavin. So yeah.. I mean he had to go.

[@Lonewolf360gaming]

This game is like dollar store resistance from insomniac games

[@kabob0077]

Resistance Fall of Man or Resistance 2?

[@Lonewolf360gaming]

@@kabob0077 resistance 2

[@Axl4325]

1:28 that´s like calling a predator strike and waiting for the damn UAV to take off

[@joestechadvice6078]

he spent around an hour trying to destroy that last ship for people who werent watching the stream

[@glad4792]

2:57 American submarines can fire torpedo broadsides, apparently

[@brown7583]

"Battleship" *FIRST PERSON SHOOTER*

[@dovahfett5919]

Oh god its Craig, he's so powerful he's spreading to different games

[@kabob0077]

He's gone back in time...

[@notazerg]

0:55 they were not invading, they were literally just some space miners who crashed.

[@hazukichanx408]

Well, shooting a bunch of working-class refugees, from this planet or some other, seems pretty in line with US foreign policy. I mean, a lot of the time they would send them back to wherever they were fleeing from so they could be shot by the corrupt and/or dictatorial regime there, but is that really so different? o.o

[@ragzaugustus]

"Like Brink", okay, well done, that make me laugh, that is a solid fucking joke right there.

[@redeye4516]

"When we get home, I want to be able to look my son in the eyes and tell him that yes, we did sink their battleship" "But did we sink their battleship sergeant? War is so complex and morally ambiguous"

[@quetzalthegamer]

This game actually does have some not-garbage ideas. It reminds me of the Strike Force mission from Black Ops 2 where you could use the overhead RTS view to give commands to units and machines, or you could go into FPS mode and control them directly. I wish there was a game that did more with that type of concept.

[@DOOT_II]

I remember a flash game that basically did that, but 2D.

[@Gatorade69]

The game actually uses the Call of Duty engine. So technically it and BO2 were being developed around the same time.

[@damiencouturee6240]

This could have been so cool. Imagine - It starts with a cutscene with 2 people playing the board game, one calls out C3 (or whatever) and the camera pans up to an aerial view of the board, and as the person puts the peg in it zooms in and the plastic ships fade into more realistic graphics and it keeps zooming all the way to the deck of the ship where you get control of your character

[@jonisalmela2399]

I wonder if they consulted any real navy veterans for their previous experience in fighting aliens 2012esk scifi equipment.

[@joe74509migo]

4:25 wait a minute, is the battleship alien model has more detailed texture than Greg?

[@iplayzgames3903]

Boardgame: ships vs ships Movie: ships vs aliens Videogame: man on land and controlling ships on tablet vs aliens

[@aaronskuse2207]

I’m pretty sure the iPad loading time was purposely extended to artificially extended the gameplay time.

[@benwilson1663]

Military tablet? Shit internet connection? Bout right for how long it'd take.

[@giorgilobjanidze5667]

Still waiting for binary domain

[@alexisF1031]

these kind of movies choose aliens that are designed to be engaged by a conventional US branch lol - either humanoids using guns - or alien ships that operate on the water like a ship would

[@funkyjed]

one could argue that because both games are published by Activision that the "asset stealing" is in fact fair use (I'm not a lawyer)

[@WK-47]

Fair use probably doesn't even factor in to it. The studios could plausibly have access to a shared bank of assets for rapid prototyping, etc. Only thing is that too many of those rapid prototypes end up as full retail products.

[@That_Montage_Nerd]

*Starts scaling cliff in 1st person* "Oh my god this is just like cliffhanger! Best game ever made." *Starts scaling a cliff in 3rd person* "Yuck, uncharted climbing. Uncharted's worst contribution to gaming."

[@ZeGermanFox]

FOUR HOURS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

[@BananaHoovyJ.Rabbit]

This game was my childhood, holy shit I loved it so much