The Darkness of Shame | Stina Hägglund | TEDxUmeå

So many people live in silence and it is costing them their quality of life, and unfortunately in some cases, their actual life. This talk is about the importance of making forbidden subjects normal and easy to discuss - when it comes to our bodies and their different functions. Nothing should be left in the darkness of shame when it can be lightened up by the knowledge of life. I am a 29-year-old lecturer and blogger whose biggest passion in life is to inspire people that are to afraid to use their own voice. I have a stoma, which means that my small intestine is cut and brought to the surface of the abdomen and forms an opening (a stoma). A special bag is placed over the stoma to collect the feces. Many people in my situation are isolated and too afraid to show who they really are, and that inspires me to show the way to self-acceptance and pride.
My lectures are about finding hope, light and happiness when everything seems hopeless, dark and sad. I want to use my story of pain for something good, so that’s what I’m doing. I also spend a lot of my time educating nursing staff about meeting patients in vulnerable situations and what a difference their behavior can make for the patient. In good and bad. I’ve been seen telling my story in a lot of different Swedish magazines and TV-shows, such as ”Malou efter tio” and ”Fråga doktorn” to mention a few, and I am now writing my first book that I hope will come in hand for people going through hard times in life. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

[@adamrosefire]

This is the face of courage. If she can’t be an inspiration to us, no one can.

[@dominiknewfolder2196]

Where? It's mainstream with tons of applause. Zero courage.

[@2brunhilda]

I have shame for my behavior, it’s debilitating. You have nothing to be ashamed of but I understand how you feel .❤️

[@arlinegeorge6967]

Beautiful amazing impressive soul . Society judges but to stay strong . We find ways to may it successfull n live. Thank you, bless you. All your dreams come true.

[@lozwanderer8309]

Thank you for sharing Stina ❤

[@theotherway1639]

Good vid. The book "30 Days to Overcome Shame" by Harper Daniels, was also a big help.

[@andreasawarenesschannel7189]

Brave! I felt ashamed but only because the society was blaming me, not because there was something I should be feeling ashamed. We need more people like you and put down the blaming culture... thank you

[@gw877]

I am ashamed that I attempted suicide, 56 hrs. Unconscious. Basically I could not longer raise my kids, love my wife, or go to work. I had an affair, my wife hates me, l don't like her. The world put me on disability, I took it. My wife turned kids against me. I live with my dog. I never see my kids. Should I feel shame? Or just say this my life and I going to enjoy it alone. I do not crie about it.. I am stronger than they are. They are ashamed of me.15 years now. Should I be ashamed of my life?

[@MrIlovebmw86]

We all fight our battles.

[@ReallyGotMotion]

No, always have to look on the bright side. What interests do u have?

[@profngurewamwachofi3243]

Apologise to them then forgive yourself and live your life regardless of whether they forgive you or not. Everybody deserves to be happy. Nobody is perfect. Truth shall set you free.

[@saraguetary5472]

💕💃🏼

[@logicjusticepeaceabundance5220]

It would be great if a robot gave a ted talk!

[@dominiknewfolder2196]

Yeah, fight shame by guilty and shame. They should accept you and repress their feelings and be "understanding" or else... Sure. I would prefer to not listen about your poop because it makes me feel uncomfortable. Please be understanding 😀

[@Me-lm6yd]

The fact that your immediate reaction is to be hit by shame, and then choose to repress it tells me you missed the point...

[@Ciskuss]

WTF is wrong with you?

[@billied17]

Brilliant. Beautiful. Radiant. These are the words that come to mind as I watch this.

[@helenheggadon6324]

Fabulous topic, well presented. I use a peristeen and a stoma is the next thing if and when needed. I use a peristeen for incontinence of my Bowels. It allows me to live a mostly normal life. I love it. There should defo be more talk about poop!

[@emmabrown6807]

you are brave and an inspirational, thankyou, much love to you

[@tarmbruster1]

The position she is taking leads her to not being able to talk - just about the "bad." By talking about the 'bad,' she's then able to talk about the 'good.' Paradox. If we never (except) our so called flaws, we will never be happy. There are so many unhappy people. In her excepting of this 'flaw,' of hers, she has dealt with it physically, intelligently, medically, socially, privately, and of course in a family setting.

[@salemparis9480]

Amazing Talk WOW. ❤❤❤

[@AngelOfDeathSM]

👍🏼♥️🌹🌹🌹

[@cosmocats20489]

THANK YOU FOR YOUR LIGHT

[@georgeschlaline6057]

Throw the 10 Commandments OUT the window

[@paulforster9432]

Bless your heart, thanks for your wisdom and courage ❤

[@bananabread888]

😍🙏🏻🩵

[@anitacigarette]

I worked with someone who was very open about her colostomy bag. I admired her so much for being so comfortable to talk to me about it all. But I have my own shames I can't get over. I wish I had that strength. Even today there are plenty of times I'm too scared people will just happen to know all my faults, & mistakes from the past. I am overwhelmed with feeling separate from other humans already.

[@helenheggadon6324]

Anita Cigarette. Be brave. Maybe start with a counsellor, it helped me