The Demon Lord And Ambassador & Warmth and Fire | Best of r/HFY | 2033 | Humans are Space Orcs

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{TimeStamps}
00:00 Intro
00:06 The Demon Lord & Ambassador
06:54 Warmth and Fire
#ScienceFiction #Storytime #SciFi
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Podcast is Called : ASN Humans Are Space Orcs , HFY and other stories
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This Story is Classified as HFY or Humanity Feck, Yea , but what does the Mean?
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HFY is a story/series that takes a “human element” in either humanity or an “other” (race/species or object) that exists in a “setting” (future or other world/universe) with varying levels of culture, technology, society and history that help show in some shape or form the potential good or bad for humanity’s race/culture. In These stories Humans are often referred to as Human, Humanity, Deathworlder, Hellwolder in reference to the human planet of origin , Earth. This planet is seen by most of the universe as a place where only death and chaos can survive.
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Taken from the FAQ of the r/HFY subreddit.
Humans Are Space Orcs (HASO) or Humans Are (Fantasy Race) Are used as a guide when writing.
In these Stories we normally View humans like the other races view orcs in a Fantasy Novel. We (Humans) share the same characteristics and personalities as orcs. Humans are normally treated as the outsiders and barbarians. Humans tend to be underestimated as well in these stories. Unlike Humanity Feck Yea , these don't always put a positive spin on humans\humanity sometimes looking at the darker side of human and humanity from the perspective of aliens.
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Lord Azrekahl

[@GravitWry]

"Prepare thyself for the artillery plows the fields, bullets plant the grounds and the infantry reap the harvest, oh great king."

[@AkodoBob]

😊

[@USS_Grey_Ghost]

Here comes the Gun ships

[@lindaorr1805]

You forgot the tears wet the weat

[@sysbofh]

As we use to say in the Brazilian Army: "Only call the artillery if You want to kill everything"

[@generalrendar7290]

Demon Lord: Hahaha I have hundreds of thousands of troops to deploy! The nations of Earth: Aww that's adorable! Did anyone else get the idea that the world response was "measured" for lack of a better description?

[@kiritotheabridgedgod4178]

It wasn't a measured response, it was recon, the real response starts with nuclear fire, and ends with the demon lords head being mounted on a plaque in the UN, after every nations leader has had a turn making him their bitch.

[@thugyheadbanger]

China and the US supplying less than a million is very measured

[@kiritotheabridgedgod4178]

@@thugyheadbanger A) They both kept part of their standing army in order to threaten each other. B) I believe these numbers are volunteer forces, rather than standing armies (Army Reserves if they wanted to make it a quick response) and C) They saw that 10000 men inflicted 25-to-1 casualty rates without air or armour support, they're likely projecting 400-to-1 casualty rates for the enemy when including those, why completely genocide and species, when you can break their armies, shatter their spirits and obliterate their moral, then exploit the fuck out of them and bring about the 2nd colonial era.

[@lightningbmw2309]

@@kiritotheabridgedgod4178 flood their economy with drugs, then declare war on them for destroying your trade products. Worked surprisingly well for England

[@barelyasurvivor1257]

Yup the Air Forces, and the Artillery, Missile, and Tank forces would love nice massed, Close Order Demon Armies out in the open, with no Air Cover or AA at all. Not even mentioning the Tactical and Strategic Nuke Units. Or the rapid-fire weapons at ranges that will kill Demons before they even see them or think they are a threat. Or in the worst case all the poison gasses that are ready to go that no one has "Officially"

[@MyrdinAnnoth]

Story 1: I am a Demon, hear me roar! Earth: Ah so its another tuesday. Story 2: Humans are cute. Until they arent.

[@loganshaw4527]

Story 2 is it a metaphor or how this alien see us. Or is the aliens cold blooded.

[@BazilRat]

@@loganshaw4527 Nah do you know what I think? After we get to know Tarj's race? "Hello brother/sister from another world."

[@loganshaw4527]

@@BazilRat the humans: I hear there is a alien cloud bunny (fluffy like cotton candy or a cloud it is so fluffy!!!) that is being enslaved do you want to help us liberate them?

[@Sorain1]

Story 1: Humanity would like to remind you that reconnaissance and intelligence gathering are key to any conquest strategy, and that no matter how seemingly unbelievable the reports are, it is wise to double check them before committing to offensive action on any undeniable scale. Story 2: A fine example of why Empaths can be far from friendly, kind and nice. After all, not recognizing others methods of communication is a key issue with new and first contacts. Thank you Agro Squirrel and to our fine authors.

[@alexistaylor969]

yeah you know, like making sure noone is around to see you blowup the Nordstream pipeline.

[@morescodesup2087]

Story 2 would be perfect for a animated short story format

[@Crowbars357]

Luckily for me, my autism makes me immune to Empaths

[@loganshaw4527]

Story 1: the lord of darkness the demon lord did not know of the population of the world he picked a fight with. It is in the billions if he started a all out war. It would be at least a billion each with multiple guns each or driving and firing tanks, flying in planes with enough bombs to blot out the sun or make multiple Suns of bright light. If the demon king is a lord of darkness the armies of man are the lords of light.

[@alexisgrunden1556]

I guess even demons have to operate on the GIGO principal of intelligence operations: Garbage In, Garbage Out. If your intel is crap, your operations will end up the same~

[@candibunny]

Humans have an excessive amount of firepower per individual... the dark lords mistake was getting all that excess firepower aimed at him. Humanity with a common enemy is a lot of daka and boom just itching to go off.

[@gmailquinn]

Humanity: KABOOM? Humanity leader: yes KABOOM indeed

[@Tornadopelt]

@@gmailquinn No, it's... Humanity: Kaboom? Humanity's Leaders: Yes, everyone. *Kaboom.*

[@Emperorgonzo1]

We don't do dakka man we go fukfukfuk yooooo boom.

[@formes2388]

Deadly war takes place. Some Human: "If we make an even deadlier weapon, maybe no one will want to fight." Deadlier war takes place. Some Human: "If we make an even more deadlier weapon, maybe no one will want to fight." Even Deadlier war takes place. Some Human: "If we make a city obliterating deadly weapon using bleeding edge physics knowledge, maybe no one will want to fight." Some Other Human: "It kinda worked. We should make an even deadlier weapon in hopes that it further deters conflict." When you go to war with a species as competent at making ever more creative ways of killing their own race: You better be able to deal a decisive blow or you are going to pay the price.

[@candibunny]

@@formes2388 more like you better deal an exterminanting blow... we have a tendency even when concord to keep being a pest.

[@anathardayaldar]

Story 1: I choose to believe that this being was only role playing as the devil and not actually the devil. As in "Why would God need a starship?" - Capt Kirk

[@kiritotheabridgedgod4178]

They never said he as the devil, but a Demon Lord, think extradimensonal humanity without rules of war, but without the tech that would make that an apocalypse.

[@theenderdestruction2362]

The devil was probably looking in at this and sighing HEAVILY whilst shouting at god for creating us

[@quinnhasse9170]

@@theenderdestruction2362 lmao

[@theenderdestruction2362]

@@quinnhasse9170 Gods just laughing at him in return knowing fully well why he made us

[@donaldscholand4617]

I once wondered how Souron would respond to a nuclear attack on Mordor. Now I know! 🤣

[@geoshark12]

Damn they did even need to call the Canadian troops to fight the demon lord of darkness

[@guardsmen666]

Bad idea. So far Canadian troops get more done then most others

[@bananaboy8416]

@@guardsmen666 lol.

[@artbrann]

in reserve, along with the Aussies and New Zealanders, we didn't want to completely traumatize the "Demon Lord" on day 1

[@anathardayaldar]

If they also call in the canadian geese, he's a goner.

[@Darkwintre]

So they mentioned Tolkien dimension and had to limit the number of volunteers. Canada clearly thought they meant Amazon's Rings of Power dimension, whilst the others double checked that before responding!

[@hikarihitomi7706]

Devils have a law forbidding them from going to Earth. When the devil king was asked the purpose of the law, why was Earth the one and only place completely off-limits, the devil king, the undisputed master of deviousness, pain, and machinations, answered "The residents there taught me all I know, and yet remain masters beyond all I could ever hope to be."

[@Aperson66779]

Ngl attacking the planet that has a bunch of homicidal apes on it that 100% would build a BFG literally the microsecond someone finds out how to weaponize plasma because some 30 something year old scientist is feeling nostalgic may be a small oversight on the demon lord's part.

[@loganshaw4527]

Demon lord learned He just attacked the homeworld of doom slayer. Demon lord: 😱😱😱

[@markotisovic8233]

For the Authors, for The Bard and for the almighty Algorithm.

[@IRMentat]

In DAKKA we trust. All others eat nukes.

[@silvadelshaladin]

So if we take the demons out, where do the souls of the evil dead go? And doesn't that mean he has to kill us not once but twice? This assumes the dead of there don't just return for yet another swing.

[@neorandomizer]

The evil dead go to Detroit the rest go to Tahiti.

[@anathardayaldar]

Some deathmatch rules say a killed player must respawn as part of the other team.

[@kiritotheabridgedgod4178]

@@neorandomizer where do the evil dead that original lived in detroit go?

[@theenderdestruction2362]

​@@kiritotheabridgedgod4178 back to Detroit

[@UGNAvalon]

Reminds me of the Salvation War series. Hell invades Earth, dead humans appear in Hell, dead humans run amok behind enemy lines.

[@davidhenderson3400]

Story 1. The humans just nuked hell

[@Kualinar]

Yup ! And, no worry about getting any fallout.

[@loganshaw4527]

Lol humans became the heros of a fantasy world by defeating the demon lord.

[@chrisdufresne9359]

Those poor demons have no idea what kind of Hornets nest is headed their way. All of the armies of Earth combined are dangerous enough, let alone when the nukes start flying.

[@riverraven7359]

its a tossup whether its Ride of the Valkyries or the Doom slayer music they'd hear just before things exploded.

[@chrisdufresne9359]

@@riverraven7359 All they'd hear would be "Here comes the sun"

[@riverraven7359]

@@chrisdufresne9359 as long as it's not Fortunate Son or Preussens Gloria we're good.

[@hanzzel6086]

All? Dude, that is a fraction of it. Hell, I can tell they aren't taking this too seriously. After all, they left the Canadians, Australians, New Zealanders, Finnish, and Polish at home! If they where even a *little* serious about this war they would have brought at least one of those! For fucks sake, they even left the Turks behind!

[@tmac2744]

@@hanzzel6086 It was a "measured" response.

[@willgallatin2802]

It's all fun and games, until the nukes start flying.

[@quinnhasse9170]

Also human comprehension: story 2

[@talieclandestine9155]

Oh, so that's why Demon Lords avoid Earth.

[@loganshaw4527]

Every human of earth is the legendary summoned hero. How would the demon lord handle billions of Said Hero

[@talieclandestine9155]

Well, not all would be "awakened", but he wouldn't. Why? Spite, pure unadulterated spite. We humans love spite. @@loganshaw4527

[@RealArcalian]

Greetings Mentlegent! For the Rhyhtm that is Algo Story 1: Clearly the Sauron ripoff hasn't met the Doom Slayer. Well, we have an entire army's worth of Doom Slayers! Story 2: A little confusing as told from the alien perspective, but nonetheless satisfying.

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, for the Author(s), for the Disembodied Voice!

[@jaredstar]

The writer totally missed the chance to have the ambassador say not today Satan

[@sol-leksthewolf5854]

2033? You’re a decade ahead of us?

[@elfeater1760]

LoL....that is the story number.

[@AgroSquerril]

Time travel....

[@AeronHale]

How do you think he gets so many stories out so quickly? The man is a decade ahead of the rest of us and uploading in the past.

[@sol-leksthewolf5854]

@@AeronHale lol

[@warkingsblood]

Armageddon might be close

[@purevert]

First story reminds me of Gate anime, it's always lots of fun when overwhelming forces is used against helpless "kings".

[@loganshaw4527]

I am reminded of summoning Japan. Demon lord killed by a tank at point blank range.

[@mikeyunovapix7181]

I'm now imagining nukes going off in the distance in the hellish world as thousands of demons get mowed down by machine guns and winged arch-demons get picked off by javelin missiles. All while the main theme of that anime plays.

[@WallNutBreaker524]

Sauran Rip Off 😂🤣👌 6:52 Ambassador got balls 💪😎👌

[@thaizoo2725]

Omg, super excited for this thank you agro! Your the best!

[@bantakkor8039]

"You will pay with your soul!" - Joke is on him, our politicians don't have one.

[@loganshaw4527]

That is assuming they will die. Humans are really die hards.

[@howard5755]

Mr. Krabs soul is an IOU.

[@serpentinious7745]

Sabotan intensifies

[@barelyasurvivor1257]

In WW2 the major combatants Armies, Navies, Air Forces were, Allied powers; the Soviet Union had 34 million men and women, the U.S 16 million, and Great Britain 6 million. The Axis powers: Germany 18 million, Japan 9 million, Italy 4 million. Worldwide in 2020, there are 30,277,850 million people serving in the armed forces The total number of armed forces personnel including reserve military and paramilitary units is 75,543,487.

[@operatortalon-5976]

Holy cow this is a really good story

[@SergeyWaytov]

#2 is quite an esoteric one

[@lazrustosadow5880]

I'm confused abiut the first story. The dark lord says he has control of planets, why would he only have numbers in the thousands? Is it that he has raided the worlds that he owns to ruins?

[@williamwalker8107]

The Dark Lord uses some kind of portholes to go somewhere, is a nasty customer and probably had easier conquests until coming to Earth.

[@hanzzel6086]

He likely only conquered relatively primitive planets before.

[@johnnymellon7414]

What kind of world did the "demon" conquer up to that story? "My little pony" land?

[@alarosebaster2626]

Likely it was worlds without a widespread, near-instant communication network like we have so it was just a matter of conquering one country at a time rather than entire worlds uniting against the threat

[@peterhacke6317]

pre-industrial ones, it seems.

[@loganshaw4527]

He attacked mid earth before not Midgard.

[@victortahlor4038]

Thank you for the reading

[@monkman500]

That entrance animation is crazy cool

[@autarchprinceps]

Those numbers are actually a vast underestimation of even Earths current mostly peaceful time army sizes, let alone reservists or what could be expected from a mobilisation. Take Germany for example, they mention 20k soldiers, but even just the currently standing active combat units of the military are 182k, alongside 81k that serve in a mostly civilian role supporting those, and 56k reservists with regular training, but it is only that small, because Germany is entirely surrounded by best friends and allies. Countries with any kind of beligerant on their borders have way more troops, especially in reservists. Take Finland as an example. Despite being much smaller than Germany in population, they have 870k reservists alone, because they border Russia and until recently due to neutrality would have been expected to defend themselves alone. And these are the individual European countries with high standards of living, small-ish populations and a long era of peace, and as such little drive to go into service. The best estimate I could find on worldwide sum of all armies, as would be used in an outside invasion, at least in large parts, is 27 million standing active soldiers, not counting reservists, paramilitaries, civilian support, mobilisable population, etc., and that number is from before the Russian invasion of Ukraine. I haven't been able to find a number on how many reservists there are, but just to paint a picture going from the biggest, Vietnam has 2.5 million of those, Taiwan 1.5 million, Brazil 1.3 million, etc. so I'd be surprised if we couldn't field at least 40 million soldiers litterally within a day or two in case of a demonic invasion as portrait here, and many more than that again should a generall mobilisation be called. And what ever quality some of those may be, a guy with a rifle and not much else would still fuck up any group armed only with melee weapons, let alone the heavy weapons we have of all kinds. Not like it's going to matter if some of the tanks are 60s era then instead of brand new, if their enemy are cavallery at best. It would pretty much go, as it did in the anime Gate, total slaughter with even a small force armed with mid 20th century weapons.

[@ssu7653]

It may be a vast underestimation of the total forces. When invading Afganistan after 2011 the US deployed UP TO 100k, here they privide 2x that number. They also started the war with less than 10k soldiers for several years and took almost a full decade to reach 100k. Theoretical max numbers, is not the same as what is sent into a conflict. Accounting for losses and deplyment time, you would need a reserver of about 2-3x what you send + any logistical personel staying behind

[@SergeyWaytov]

Well, someone fecked around and found out on Story number 1

[@quinnhasse9170]

Same with the second story

[@brianlips8346]

Thanks for the story 🙂☺️😊

[@darksentinel1191]

THE THUMBNAIL!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂💀

[@user-xt1fm9rh6r]

100,000 Let's get to it

[@elfeater1760]

For the Algorithm11!

[@Nicmadis]

When all of earth decides it's time for a "Proportional Response." You are not violating human rights if they are not human, now are you?

[@tmac8396]

The Geneva Conventions are for human on human wars, so let's bring in the Canadians, Polish, and Australians and see if they can create an all new checklist.

[@Nicmadis]

@@tmac8396 Oh boy. Yeah, those world wars showed what normally calm people are willing to do when they are massively pissed off.

[@Liethen]

I thought they would have been Boy Scouts

[@Wolfgang-Schnaufer]

Story 1 reminds me of that novel, "Salvation" IIRC.

[@shirosakiishigo]

dude he got hit with the power of the fkin sun! welcome to earth! poblation, not you!

[@genericuser984]

neat

[@theonetodefyall238]

keeper going

[@klappstock943]

For the Algorithm the story and the voice

[@calvingreene90]

Hundreds of thousands. (giggles) We have almost a million volunteers from West Africa alone most bringing their own AKM derived rifles with interchangeable ammunition and magazines all combat veterans. Russia has already shipped 500,000 AKMs and over 1,000,000 rounds of ammunition that they found in a dark corner of a T-62 storage garage. It will probably be a few days before third world crews are assembled the Brigade worth of Tanks. And even the remnents of the Khmer Rouge are appalled what the Muslim countries are going to bring to bear.

[@snake57]

Back from the future

[@barelyasurvivor1257]

Oh and up to 73,000 tanks too.

[@mattbrown5511]

Yes, I'm a "mental-gent".

[@damiennightmaresx7950]

i love being a doom fan-

[@asandrewsilvaw]

For the algorithm

[@yomogami4561]

for the algorithm

[@merlinwizard1000]

7th, 19 February 2023

[@el3g3le]

Boop

[@jarodiking2559]

just 50 milion, WE GOT 8 BILLION HUMANS

[@johncochran8497]

We want enough not fighting so as to keep the factories running.

[@tno895]

@@johncochran8497 Fine, we'll send 7.8 billion. Whatever

[@johncochran8497]

@@tno895 Nope. Need people behind to run factories. Grow food. Mine resources. Educate. Research. Develop. etc., etc., etc Basically everything needed to support civilization. A better estimate would be to look at history so see what we did during the most recent total war. That would be World War II. The United States had a population of 132 million and an initial burst of 6 million were recruited the 1st 3 years, then 800 thousand each year after until the end of the war. Call it about 1% of the population. But in WW Ii, we did not have a 25 to 1 kill ratio in our favor. So, I'd consider the 50 million (0.625% of the total world population) to be quite reasonable, especially considering that the demon lord was ranting about mere hundreds of thousands.

[@tno895]

@@johncochran8497 You're trying to take your own explanation out of its context. This isn't "lets go save europe" this is "ACTUAL FUCKING DEMONS ARE COMING TO KILL US ALL - ALL HANDS ON DECK" isntead. So, 7.8 B? Yeah that's 200M left. 200 Million humans to run the FACTORIES because schools and everything not growing food or making ammo is shut off. Why? That's what complete mobilization means. Oh, you want your 10 yr old to go to school? That's cute, he's just the right size to run a mortar with his buddy. They can be mortar team buddies. The scale, the context you're trying to write around is ENTIRE SPECIES not just WW2. And you talk about trying to maintain society. Fool.

[@ssu7653]

@@johncochran8497 If we compare it to the Afganistan war, the US sent about 100k soldiers (max deployed at same time) out of almost 310 million. that 0.0003% .Defensive war far away, numbers from the story dont seem that low in this context

[@johnpisciotto7115]

How many of those souls were human? And special forces trained? And infiltrated hell ahead of the main force?

[@loganshaw4527]

Mean while that one guy trying to freeze the place.

[@rainynight02]

I am so confused by the second one

[@riverraven7359]

somebody made his wife or daughter a slave in a pit fight arena. big mistake.

[@quinnhasse9170]

I think it was a mother that became a slave and forced to fight

[@papamaanbeerVideo]

cant the demon just summon more?

[@Iluvantir]

Mmm... so the collective human race just read what Jesus said to his followers, "and the Gates of Hell shall not prevail against you"... and decided to test it out. "Hey! It's true! .... daka-daka-daka..."

[@loganshaw4527]

The gate were locked to keep the humans of earth out.

[@CHRF-55457]

Those numbers from China are kinda off...

[@admiraloscar3320]

Those were only the ones they had already comitted. They had millions more in reserve

[@loganshaw4527]

Ya I think think the number of China police are near that number.

[@bobsterclause342]

THe problem with story number one is the idea that just because you can destroy 1000 times or a hundred times more deaon't mean you would win a war or that it is worth it. IF they have billions to fight with, you would end up witha costly conflict, where before you were barganing to reduce cost on the enemy and have them back off, now you are begging to reduce casualties or maybe not be whiped out or that you tired of fighting, which a pissed off enemy that may not have the same fighting habbits as a race like humans now might not be able to be asked to stop. So where before you may have been abel to end colnflict, now you have to destroy them and they will always send stuff,. it's kind of dumb. And what if they respawn? Then good job. You now have to fight forever. and if they don't surrender the more you piss them off and aren't like humans, well good job. You don't know if some alliens or demons would fight out of spite for all of eternity.

[@ATEC101]

It appears you are born anew every other second. Humanity has never stopped fighting everything and itself. Giving humanity an agreed upon target for this fighting alters nothing.

[@vothbetilia4862]

​@@ATEC101 you wouldn't know that, because you're dead.

[@panan7777]

Ever heard of 100 years war?

[@NemoVir]

Rule number one, never mention better authors and stories in your own story.

[@acefire4050]

You know they should not forget about the laser gun that the Navy has they could shoot the speed of light and cut a hole through the Moon in 30 seconds and contribute up to 200,000 pinpoint precision invented in 2004 perfected in 2012 and you're saying is still perfecting it to be even better hotter than the face of the Sun and as of 2022 they shot a boat out of the water with it the shot a hole through an aircraft carrier as well as cruisers jet planes drones and other things including missiles destroying everything within seconds. And that was all the tests the Navy also shared it with the Air Force and and now they can admit 250 Target at the exact same time and shoot them all with one laser weapon.

[@ComfortsSpecter]

First story just didn’t hit Too vague, too uninspired

[@quinnhasse9170]

Not vague, sorta inspiring

[@user-ym1pf4lz3h]

I hate when authors mix scifi and fantasy

[@HoNkYforLiFe1]

Came for sci fi got fantasy 👎

[@VSG117]

You scream too much

[@HoNkYforLiFe1]

Just a bad story 👎

[@theonetodefyall238]

keeper going

[@jimmycoyote74]

For the algorithm