The Difference Between a Toxic Person and a Non-toxic One, Victim Mentality and Bully Mentality

[@truckywuckyuwu]

Agree to Disagree is unhealthy. My Mom does this all the time. She is abusive. When an argument isn't going her way. She just says 'Lets agree to disagree', because it's a way to end the conversation without admitting faults, or even having to acknowledge that she might be being abusive. This doesn't mean you continue the argument, or a fight. But you just don't give them an out like this. You need to say something like 'Well, I have a different memory' or 'looks like you're trying to question my reality'. There are many ways to end a disagreement, without giving them a cop out and a free pass to continue holding onto a harmful idea, or tactic. There's nothing wrong with coming to the conclusion that you both 'agree to disagree ' in a civil conversation about something that's subjective. But something like abuse isn't subjective. It's objective. If a parent or someone else is gas lighting you, and pretending that your view point is wrong. You are only empowering them by saying 'lets agree to disagree'. Call out the behavior, just do it in a respectful manner. That is what disarms them. You can still end conflict this way.

[@EmpoweredHeartConnections]

Good point, there is no one size fits all response that works in every scenario. It can work when it is a topic that you are never going to agree on and both of you are aware of that. Many people struggle with going in circles trying to get the other to agree. Though I agree with you, ideally it is better if you can come to a conclusion of understanding where both of you are heard and validated if it is possible. Thank you for sharing your perspective!

[@truckywuckyuwu]

@EmpoweredHeartConnections yup, I guess the context of the conversation is what matters. Subjective VS objective. You both might never agree on the same ice cream flavors, or what constitutes a great movie, but if the argument is objectively abusive. You don't want to get triggered over it and then give them an out like that. I fact, I don't think people realize how empowering it is to call out the behavior. There's no need to get triggered when you can use the right words to completely stun an abusive person in an argument. No need for victim mentality or bullying. Just state a fact, reinforce your view.

[@EmpoweredHeartConnections]

@@truckywuckyuwu Absolutely, it can be very empowering to address these conversations clearly and directly and it does not have to be confrontational. Sometimes a brief and concise reply, can be enough to address the emotional impact.