The Dutch Are The Worst Europeans - Stand Up Comedy - Geoffrey Asmus

Here is a video compilation from my legendary show in Amsterdam. I brutally mock the embarrassing Dutch military and spread American imperialism in this soon to be viral clip.
If you liked this buy tickets to my neverending tour - www.whitecomedian.com/schedule
I have upcoming shows in Ottawa, Montreal, Toronto, New Jersey, NYC, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Portland, Connecticut, Memphis, Minneapolis, Omaha, Houston and so many more.
Sign up for my mailing list to find out when I perform near you - eepurl.com/h_HMIX
Also listen to my incredible podcast You're An Idiot with Alex Dragicevich. New episodes on KZbin every Monday - www.patreon.com/youreanidiot
I love to give the algorithm funny stand up comedy jokes. Funny!
Please leave a comment whether you enjoyed the video or not.
For the algorithm - stand up comedy - comedy - jokes - hilarious - robots rock - wow - stand up comedy - stand up stand up stand up stand up funny joke wow viral. Social media is a hellscape.

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

If you like this, come see me on tour - linktr.ee/Geoffreyatm11 Upcoming shows in Houston, NYC, New Jersey, Portland, Las Vegas, Montreal, Ottawa, Connecticut, Toronto and so many more unfortunately. Or Sign up for my email list to find when I'm performing near you - eepurl.com/h_HMIX

[@kenpachikiking6179]

Do you ever hit Buffalo?

[@biuliu7157]

Bros on the grind!!

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

@@kenpachikiking6179 absolutely. Was there last summer. I’ll be back in the fall. Sign up for the email list above and I’ll let you know when I’m back

[@gillesa630]

I'm buying two tickets to your Toronto show! And I'll tell a bunch of people about it. Don't quit comedy yet, give it at least a couple more years. You are hilarious and I think you're starting to really gain traction!

[@1980HiphopFunk]

Loved the outro!! Shame i missed the show, i would be the best heckler .

[@daratencion3845]

" I don't have to be funny, you guys take breaks at your job too " spit take hilarious Geoffrey ! Thank you 😂

[@CyrixD2]

Such a good line! Could make a whole bit around it

[@ceiteach2333]

Hey Geoffrey, just wanted to say I was at your Dublin show and it was my first comedy show. It was a cracking night and hope to see you back in Ireland again ❤🙏

[@gillesa630]

wow you're lucky to have that as your first show

[@bwalster]

You saw the greatest living white comedian for your first show??? Might as well gouge your eyes and ears bc you've seen the top of the mountain.

[@saszablaze1]

Omg a full tour?! When was this?! Are these old vidros from months ago?! I looked on his website when saw germany and all the dates were american. Grrrrr

[@geekofsteal]

"HEY! Vicar is OUR word. You can only say 'Vicah', if we think you're cool."

[@jwvandegronden]

I feel some fucked up pride I'm Dutch watching this. being destroyed by the best comic who thinks this was his best work! YEAH!! Great work man, loved it, so cool you came here. We have a long standing comedy tradition and already for decades also quench our thirst for comedy on all the American and English comics who frequent our comedy hot-spots! Please return as often as you can!

[@pnwesty7174]

"Mine's like a half gin and tonic." 😂😂😂😂 These Europe clips are fucking killing it.

[@michielvdvlies3315]

Oh Genever ;-)

[@13loodLust]

The meta commentary on your own set really makes the set. Brilliant.

[@Sisterlisk]

It's the best

[@SungurEge]

I cannot believe that I was there, it was a 10/10 show from material to crowd work, and we got to chat with you too, which made it extra special! 🤘🏻🤘🏻🔥🔥 Cannot wait to see you again in Europe, brother!

[@_burningshadow_8010]

😂 I think our attitude goes both ways: Sure, nobody remembers all the things we did, first company, largest company, named half of america, half of your surnames are dutch, half of your presidents are Dutch, telescope, Shell, Philips, Wi-Fi- Blue-Tooth, ASML, 2nd biggest agri culuture exporter despite our size, invented 90% of water technologies, the OG 3 striped flag, the OG national anthem, historically good at adapting and learning languages, basically: G E K O L O N I S E E R D But on the other side: *Nobody Remembers* people will be mad at England or Spain. "Ha, ha all things in the british museum are stolen" Like sure, all our achievements are forgotten. But all our bad actions kind of fall out of public image as well and we generally manage to avoid pissing anyone off. At the same time putting us in a position where a country like America is "defending us" because they get something out of it. Like for example, us not selling our technology to China. When your country is this small it's rather foolish to rely on pure military force. Instead you turn your country in the largest trading company in the world and when that goes out of style you switch to being centered around tech and providing another specific service that people rely on. It doesn't matter if we get no credit as long as people are still relying on our services. Plus we're neutral enough that generally speaking "anyone will do business with us"

[@8alakai8]

that joke they are lazy germans did not coquer the world uuuh forget the golden ages?

[@strongmind3881]

Did he hurt your feelings? 😂

[@_burningshadow_8010]

@@strongmind3881 Haha, no generally the Dutch are not so *frail* to have their feelings hurt by comedy. Otherwise we wouldn't say things like *Doe normaal* constantly. That said the american influence is a bit concerning.

[@des1nteress3]

Funny story actually, The Dutch were the only ones allowed to do business with Japan. The Netherlands thought trade was more important than religion so, where other countries tried to force their religion on others. The Dutch simple destroyed images of God/Jesus to get Japan's trust who had a falling out with English/Spanish colonisers. Trade always came first, which actually makes me surprised they mess over China who has the same mindset as the Dutch: Trade at all costs. The difference is that USA actively forces us to stop trading by threatening us. They've done it before, even documented & out in news, with the gas pipe.

[@xXSjapXx]

Als je zo ver over de oceanen hebt geregeerd, met alle invloed van dien. Gestaafd met een kennis der talen en culturen, moet ik toegeven dat de Nederlandse zelfspot ons een nuchter volk maken. Try and explain that to the English and Americans. Effort wasted. The guy is funny af!!

[@ScottDincorn]

Multi-passionate, multi-talented. Truly a master of his craft

[@elijahdixon2352]

This guys crowd work is so good. Ill have to come watch you live. Great work!

[@elijahdixon2352]

Just checked your website. Awesome to see you're coming to Bentonville AR! I'll see you there, Phillip

[@OmarMunoz]

The term "vicar" originates from the Latin word "vicarius," which means a substitute or deputy. The Latin root is reflective of the vicar's role in the church as a representative or deputy of a higher church authority, often a bishop. "I ain't saying she's a gold digger, but she aint hanging with no broke Vicars"

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

Hahaha

[@markveenendaal6359]

he forgets that we Dutch are one of the first founders and founded New York. new Amsterdam. they don't even know their own history

[@AlwinVerhoog]

Henry Hudson was een Engelsman in dienst van een Nederlands bedrijf die later ging handelen met de mensen die in het latere nieuw-Amsterdam leefden. Eerst kwamen de Belgen, of Walen, de Duitsers, de Britten en een enkele Nederlander. Dat wij er als Nederlander vroeg bij waren is eerder mythisch dan historisch. Manhattan is gekocht van de oorspronkelijke bewoners door een Duitser.

[@kenpachikiking6179]

How are more people not watching you?!! You should have a few mil in subs

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

It ain’t a meritocracy 😢

[@SungurEge]

They cant handle the ALPHA!! 😤😤😤

[@gillesa630]

@@GeoffreyAsmus It's coming. Suck whoever's dick you gotta suck, do all the podcasts you can possibly do. And give it time, it will happen. You will do an arena tour one day.

[@pannonianbrute]

Of course it is, noone’s holding a gun to our head and making us watch better comics, you just ain’t no Bill Burr yet (or Maniscalco, Chapelle, Jeffries, Russel Peters, Kevin Bridges or even Tim Dillon)…but I’m sure you’ll get there, you’re hungry enough. Helps if you know a bit about the places and people you’re shitting on, though, makes for better comedy. Especially when the Dutch open themselves up to as much ridicule as they do… you just gotta dig a bit deeper.🤷‍♂️

[@callumweimer711]

It's me! I'm Callum! Dont think Ive ever laughed harder than at this show!

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

hellll yea. such a fun one

[@ericclaptonsrobotpilot7276]

The best ambassador we could ask for.

[@BelovedNL]

I pretty much laughed for 1,5 hours straight, amazing show!

[@psicobassmanecdqemsd]

Wow. This alpha comedian totally destroyed that Dutch crowd.

[@Jeroenhermanjan]

I don’t think destroyed it was really funny and good! Why get angry about it?

[@davidstarreveld8598]

​@@JeroenhermanjanHe is really angry and totally not sarcastic

[@VideoCraftingHD]

The crowd was not really dutch do you think? Lots of americans and australians

[@sannevandenheuvel5635]

I have some information for you; Dutch people don’t care as much about things like USA citizens. We make jokes about ourselves, laugh and cringe about ourselves and are often our own worst critics. We are often overlooked because we’re so small, so whenever people joke about us it’s actually something we often enjoy 😂

[@Bogota105]

At this moment we are very nationalistic and right winged. We love our gold century heritage with the Dutch East India compagny (which would richer in these times then the biggest companies in the world combined). So we cannot be offended and otherwise we will deport foreigners out faster than you can say "Stroopwafel"!

[@Slamolo]

Too generous with us fans, thanks for the vids

[@lilywithluggage]

I was so happy to see you live at this show! Legendary set! ❤

[@LeagueCoach66]

Never have I laughed harder at a comedy clip as this xDD

[@elishamorgan]

I think it's awesome that you've been doing shows abroad. Your crowd work is snappy and genius. Always get a good laugh

[@TylerSmithMusic1]

I hope you’re enjoying your travels man! You’re the GOAT

[@eldormido8a]

Hello Señor Asmus, your content is great and hilarious. Thank you for continuously sharing your crowd work and being so quick and witty. I hope nothing but success and seeing you achieve your goals! You remind me of banter a few friends and I shared for many years. Greetings from Alaska!

[@TheDutchyNL]

That's some solid crowd work, you got a good laugh out of me!

[@KidontheSlope]

Loving the tour Geoffrey!

[@ES-os7ko]

Im Dutch and I loved every second of this

[@caseyfreelove4458]

This one was a banger Geoff! Thanks for the laughs, hope you make it back to NorCal soon so we can see you live.

[@namstel9225]

That was hilarious! 🤣 Thanks for making my day.

[@anywallsocket]

Dam Geo's getting better and better with all this challenging practice

[@NightOfCrystals]

I had to miss your Portland, Maine, show to see the total eclipse but if you come back I’ll be there (can catch you if you are back in Boston too) this slapped!!

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

how dare you skip my show for a once in a lifetime celestial event. I love boston and maine though. I come back every year. sign up for my dumb email list and ill let you know when i return - eepurl.com/h_HMIX

[@nothing55rk]

You truly make me laugh man, thank you!!

[@AweSomo84]

I love your standups man

[@kriscamps1799]

You're killing it Geoffrey!

[@slayasloth]

I’m so proud of you for getting better at guitar. Keep it up mahn

[@EVERTSMID]

Ur hilarious, absolute perfect humor🤣🤣👍 Much love from a Dutch guy! You know us to well🤣🤣✌️

[@russ_garcia]

Dude you’re freaking hilarious. Keep it going!

[@robyee3325]

This was great!

[@deeptoot1453]

Damn this guy telling it how it is. The first 30 seconds to a minute I was like mweh...BUT THEN he absolutely killed it!

[@gitsmaberry5329]

Great show at Go Bananas last night!!! Have a great show at The Sphere!!

[@_burningshadow_8010]

2:06 You can say that but despite america having like 100-1000 fold the amount of cyber attacks on russia, the successful one was from the netherlands 😂

[@itookallthenames]

They like to have ze party but they know how to focus

[@irmakaneli]

Great stuff!

[@tnickknight]

Good set

[@jeffparisse4202]

The Dutch know everything! That’s the vibe I got when I went there for two week of work. See ya May 3rd!

[@HHog]

"Germans without ambition" Buddy I got 3 words for you: United East-Indies Company 🙃

[@TheZoePath]

Bro, you are too good at this! 🔥💪🏼🔥 But why is the recording quality of your YT videos always so bad?

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

This one was far too DIY. The next few will be much higher quality

[@robertolunajr1957]

Dude you’re dope! I’ll see you live one day if you ever make it out to Texas

[@stickytourbus]

*I’m touring everywhere…sigh…* _Man, I can relate to that._ People never see the “glory and glamour” behind the glitter is what we used to say. Life on the road in the entertainment business is not for the weak of heart. It’s tough. Enjoy it while you have it brother. Someday, you’ll be old like me and fade into irrelevance. Dreaming of the stage. The only place I’ve ever felt alive.

[@WO0Odzy]

Just noticed I missed your Paris date. FCK ME. Love your stuff man, consistently hilarious

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

Oh daaamn. I’ll be back. Paris was so fun. sign up for my dumb email list so you don’t miss tickets next time - eepurl.com/h_HMIX

[@AasilImran-pd7xp]

Can't wait to see you in Toronto

[@billtoll]

"work for Nickelodeon" quick as fuck...

[@user-dh5yi9hz7p]

Next time you're back in NYC let me buy you a...gin and tonic.. or two☺

[@artistsean5817]

i love you buddy, im a big fan. much love and respect. i hope you are doing good

[@mobucks555]

yup SUBBED you roasted them!

[@abfleks]

SO GOOD

[@Carlos-im2jp]

A real talent this guy 😂

[@siddified]

''what's one thing that's better in the Netherlands than in America?'' -average intelligence.

[@spencerj4677]

Making minnesota proud my friend!

[@pnwesty7174]

"What CNN?" 😅

[@davidarellano870]

Crowd work master

[@oppositeofh8]

absolute brilliance. 😻😻😻😻😻 5/5 😹😹😹😹😹 5/5

[@bobbyzeeez8813]

Third Round 🤣

[@djguydan]

Oof I need to lay off on the G&Ts ...

[@bwalster]

The 👑 King 👑 of crowdwork

[@badonkadonks]

word around the St is if Geoff played a different guitar from his collection every video, it would make viewers more likely to sub, comment, share and buy a ticket

[@dimitrigerman8376]

Three minutes in and it’s ripping harder than a Beyblade

[@travisforet1447]

When are you coming to Houston?

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

I’m literally there in two weeks. Buy tix here - linktr.ee/Geoffreyatm11

[@travisforet1447]

Ok, hell yes dude. Fingers crossed I make it.

[@gillesa630]

@@travisforet1447 it's not up to chance if you just buy the tickets...

[@travisforet1447]

@@gillesa630 just got 2 for the 11th. See you then.

[@borat6363]

The Nickelodeon riff is undefeated

[@funnytastingmilk]

Wait when was this filmed???

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

Like a month ago

[@SeorkMaxx]

Damn, missed you, but at least Utrecht was presented, hope to see you soon stroopwafel 😂

[@PapaWolfDogZeus]

Light work

[@itookallthenames]

Was going to make a joke about the Dutch falling to Hitler in 12 minutes, but I think it was actually the Danish

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

Haha it was. Dutch put up a little fight

[@siddified]

​@@GeoffreyAsmusHey we thought they really loved us.

[@jasonmcduffie3186]

Funniest man alive.

[@johnburke8375]

Commenting for the algorithm

[@modernserf2020]

Damn this kills.

[@judeau9151]

you remind me of a Old Navy mannequin. In a good way.

[@itsTtttank]

Half a gin & tonic 😂😂

[@hunchbackaudio]

An American art and history student would need 3 weeks to graduate, by then you know it all.😂

[@flangelus]

Dude i dont know who you are but youre actually really funny, sharp guy

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

this is true. please sub

[@flangelus]

​@GeoffreyAsmus already done homez. Also I've been binging your stuff and I read your message in that deep monotone voice of yours. No homo

[@sinclair00]

Please have my comment. Love from Scotland

[@trevorthegreat]

Hi Geoffrey, excited for Ottawa show this summer. Destroy us libs

[@ianmackinlay8925]

Nice

[@elzurdico851]

you're good man

[@tameshewolf]

You the best!

[@SailorGreenTea]

13:24, not Kitimat-Stikine

[@Ndo01]

funny af

[@leem9327]

You knew we were there 🙄🎸😅 Can't wait for ottawa show... basically an ALPHA-CON

[@djglander2622]

I’d wager there’s a pretty good chance Tito’s first sip of alcohol was straight Tito’s vodka. That’s my dream

[@frederickdelius1106]

After that ill never watch a stand clip ever again.... Because i died of laughter.... ...nope wasnt anymore

[@judeau9151]

I’m too broke to support you in any way that actually matters, but here’s a +👍🏼

[@jawharp9467]

What do you get when you cross a Dutchman with a comedian? A funny-herring!

[@berniepina860]

I work for myself hahaha

[@smtsjhr]

u look emo on the guitar hehe

[@UDIHQ]

*claps* per @13:19 My attic is cut off from anyone but me. She can go to the shed.

[@Mdjagg]

We don't have roads because of you, Tito!

[@ibanez33150]

Nice Ibanez.

[@jeremyellis7364]

Nickelodeon joke was lightning fast😂

[@philsidock]

Phillip's dad's title ends with a soft "A"

[@chef7658]

the germans without ambition part applies yo me very much.

[@starksweetheart]

13:10 And a Hitler joke!!! God, Bismillah, fucking Buddha & The Masters of the Universe with She-Ra, I fucking LOVE you! Someday I will shake your hand after a show! 💯✌️🎤💓🤣