The ENFP DARK SIDE - Advice For ENFPs FEELING STRESS

In 2011 I was going through a period of EXTREME STRESS. We're talking Greek Mafia debt collectors and all the other stresses of growing two new businesses. As an ENFP, the confrontation and stress was extremely tough and I was desperately looking for some advice. It was in this time when I discovered the ENFP dark side and its shadow personality. bit.ly/ytsubdreams
Under extreme stress ENFPs become a totally different person. It is said we take on the negative traits of our opposite, the ISTJ. Of course, when under stress, it is very hard to tell this is happening and you can potentially ruin friendships, burn bridges, and just generally f*ck up your life. Hopefully this video and advice will help you prevent that from happening.
Correction Actually, this tends to be more the INFJ.
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I'm Dan Johnston, an ENFP Coach and Author, and founder of Dreams Around The World. I’m Dan Johnston, a former entrepreneur, turned Freelancer, turned Author and ENFP Coach. I value freedom and experiences over money and things and I believe we’re all capable of designing our own lives.
So far, I've lived in 8 countries, published 11 books and worked hard to achieve my dream of being time and location independent. Now the question is, what can I help you do?
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[@enfp]

My new book, THE ENFP CALLING, is out now in Audiobook (I narrated), Print, and Digital. It's on Amazon (amzn.to/3Hn75Wv ), Audible ( www.audible.com/pd/The-ENFP-Calling-Audiobook/B0D79QMDCR? ), and most everywhere else you can get books books2read.com/enfp

[@enfp]

And before you think "Oh god, another KZbinr / Coach wrote some sh*tty book summarizing their videos...Scout's honor...this book is the furthest thing from regurgitation. It's 270 pages (or 8 hours on audiobook) of new ideas, stories, and insights. Check out the reviews on Amazon ( amzn.to/3Hn75Wv ).

[@Lisa_Fernandezhomeandlifestyle]

Anyone else feel so dissatisfied, yet want to accomplish everything in this lifetime. Even career choices, I get so excited about the thought of doing so much, yet often feel paralysed to do anything 🤔😩

[@KK-gn2fb]

same here. So stressful. I think this deserves another video from Dan.

[@alexanderstevens145]

Yes

[@caite.9532]

Yes!

[@mamamememoo]

YES! I tend to end up self sabotaging. Sighs.

[@bettymontero2889]

Lisa Fernandez TV 🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏽‍♀️

[@chrissy9876]

“And then I moved to Costa Rica...” - literally the core of ENFP 😂

[@jessearias6950]

Christina Erdman the fundamental core of being ENFP hahaha

[@sistermadrigalmorning233]

As an American ENFP living in India... Yeah. Lol

[@lynneak2681]

ENFP American who has hardly lived in America...lol! Everyone is like...where do you live now?

[@michelleemee7940]

OMG.

[@marcusjohnsson6559]

I did the exact same as a Swedish ENFP, and it did work! 😂👌🏼

[@kagelevelofficial]

I love being an ENFP, so I guess I love everyone here 😂. Anyway, any one suffer from imposter syndrome? I feel like I'm super competent and really useful, but at the same time I feel useless. Makes me feel weird at work sometimes. I'm passionate about what I do but sometimes feel like I'm of no use to anyone. Anyone else too?

[@sanjnaghosh6462]

Me all the time

[@racheldilley2669]

So interesting, I feel the same way right now. I just got promoted at work and while I'm super hyped and can't wait I now feel like I'm not good enough and rather useless. I love love love my job so much and I'm scared to let anyone down as a leader now and I have been in this constant loop of stressing about trying not to stress...which just leaves me feel useless because I'm so focused on attempting to stay calm...if that makes senes

[@randomperson4683]

SAME

[@SafiraAzzahra-li1gv]

@@racheldilley2669 you'd do good !! As an enfp i myself have been in your position, and my advice for you is DON'T stress so much as much as the bad things comes later the good things will too... so goodluck!!

[@nyaonyaw8946]

MEE

[@morecoffee2463]

I think a lot of people forgot that despite being Extroverted, ENFPs often times still have a larger introverted part than other Extroverted personality types.

[@roshtoux]

They say ENFPs are the most "introverted extroverts."

[@calebheiser4250]

100%

[@simransalonivasant2747]

This is really true for me when I get stressed I tend to become snappy, irritable, selfish, mean and critical to others. The worst part is I know that what I am doing is wrong yet sometimes... I just cant help it. Thats when I realise I need a break.

[@enfp]

Good you realize it!

[@aritrisamadder8506]

Yes same... Other people don't really affect me. But when it's my close friends and family and when they stress me out I really get angry super fast, irritated, mean and attack them. I know I love them and I don't want to hurt them but in that moment I do want to hurt them. After all the horrid words are said I feel super guilty. But I asked for forgiveness and showed my sincerity and they forgave me. I have hurt my best friend really badly and because I know them so well I can hurt them really bad as well... So basically I have learned to use my words in a better way. Sorry if this comment is kinda muddled.

[@puterinurain7526]

Omg this is so me

[@pardesifilmy486]

Same ,when I am stressed, I am rude to people and mean. I want to yell at them for ever thing wrong they did to me ( try to see their bad side , not good side)

[@itsukityan5491]

Same here... I after this cannot get rid of imposter syndrome The worst part, I'm scared of being alone, because I need someone to get stick to.. Like I know that sometimes I'm always brave and ready for any challenge, but with imposter syndrome it was rlly hard, and I became gloomy goblin... As for being a bomb of anger.... Same here... I lost many bonds, and I cannot let it happen... So I took a break with my online friend... 🫂

[@laurab257]

Yes...I am THE MOST OPTIMISTIC person that I know, but I can also become the biggest pessimist after lots and lots of negative stress! I totally agree! I am just now learning to take time to myself and say no.

[@FirstNameLastName-xz4xx]

SAME HERE WTF ENFP IS SO WEIRD LOL WE CAN BE SO DIFFERENT EVEN THOUGH WE ARE THE SAME PERSON

[@beautifulparadox3933]

Laura Brinskey meeee toooo

[@annek8552]

Saaaaaaaamee❤️

[@Goldgirl1978]

do you get the paranoia along with the pessmistic side?

[@iain713]

yh its when the real world crashes into my ideals.....i try to avoid the real world .. it sux

[@katet6436]

Holy smokes, this is really, really accurate. I've been under huge levels of stress and it's caused me to become mean. I go from idolization to demonization very quickly when someone wrongs me. And I hate that this is happening because I live with a philosophy of kindness and hate that I've done anything to violate that.

[@mrsdragonite]

Kate T Gods, youre like me! We get discouraged when the world is ugly to us and we can end up turning into that! Protect your star seed!!

[@ThoughtWellness]

same! It's pretty awful, I hate it! Feeling is part of our predominate traits so when negative energy keeps at us, it's easy to get into that dark side.

[@beautifulparadox3933]

Kate T yup

[@MadisonBuratt]

This!!!

[@ivankyleasiado7079]

Yeeaaap

[@ginastotallybodaciousunive2375]

I actually become very insecure confused and awkward.

[@elizat2326]

same i am in that moment rn n idk how to get out of it im taking some really important exams v soon so maybe thats why but idk how to snap out of it cuz im pushing many ppl away who i love sooo much n idk how to stop it

[@shotbyartemis]

We're in the same boat. I help myself by not giving in to those negative voices

[@Elizabeth-il5ps]

Yo same here

[@jeffdean7843]

Yep... I noticed that I become very judgemental in myself which causes me to be terribly insecure and seeing only the negative in me. Makes me very insecure and awkward around people because I assume they can "see" all my flaws.

[@tcggggg]

found my ppl in a 6 year old thread

[@hugewang69]

This happened to me, and it was single handedly the worst experience I've ever gone through. My super ego came out and burned down the world I had created. I broke up with the love of my life, my friends became my enemies, my work life became hell, I was homeless, I fell out with my family, I cut everyone off and I was to the point of committing suicide. But something happened, for a split second my ego came back and stopped me from doing it, it was heartbreaking because I realized what I'd done. And the damage done was too great that it couldn't be repaired. But from hellfire there's a chance new life can grow, that was the purpose of my super ego coming out. I wanted something else, I was sick and tired of my whole lifestyle being a mess. But my supego didn't realize the fundamentals of what was important to me. Now I'm rebuilding, and it's a slow process, but the toxicity of my old life is what I'm avoiding, the manipulation I never saw behind my back, and now I'm setting standards to what I want, I can't just go with the flow anymore, I have to take control of what I want for myself and my future, it's a struggle because I'm never sure of what I want, but I have a vision of what I want to create, but I lack follow through, the commitment to make it happen. Which is why I'm trying to connect with people in regards to my vision, but the sad thing is, no one takes me seriously, I'm young and inexperienced, so they turn their backs on me, and its dehumanizing to me, I have ideas I want to create. But no one in my town is like me, or I think so, but they're in their own vices or careers and simply can't resonate with me on what I want to create. Even writing this comment is hard because there's a chance no one will read it. But I'll try to keep going, I have to, growing up I was never allowed to Express myself in what I wanted to do, my parents and teachers tried to force me into a role i have no interest in, and because of my shadow behavior I obviously rebelled, and never felt validated from what I wanted to do, because it was "silly" or "unrealistic". But to me, these ideas aren't silly or unrealistic, Because its what I want to do. It's what I want to create and show to everyone. Even now at 22 I'm barely getting to know myself, and it's hard to let go of what I've been raised to believe for all these years, I'm starting from ground zero, and it's scary because I feel so alone. I feel like no one can understand what I want. I'm not interested in money, or riches, those are simply tools, but in today's world, everyone and everything is so expensive, all I'm trying is to be is creative, and show what I can imagine. But I feel so guilty for what's happened, that I never stood up for myself when it mattered, that i never got a chance to know myself when i was younger. But I have to start somewhere, and I have to keep dreaming and knowing that I'll be better in my future, and to hopefully change the lives of those I care about, if not everyone. But thank you for the video. I really appreciate it.

[@oleh2792]

I hope you're doing better now. The thing that you wrote is harder than my whole life.

[@amarawynn8129]

I feel for you. I'm 23 and also on a journey of self-healing. The thing that has been helping me even though it seems small is practicing self-love, self-acceptance and GRATITUDE. Being thankful that everything happened the way it did rather than analyzing it and turning bitter at this or that. Practicing gratitude lightens the weight on my soul little by little. You might be at the lowest point of having respect for yourself but practicing affirmations such as "I choose self-acceptance" has been helping me slowly rebuild who I am. Maybe try those three things out in conjunction if you haven't already :). I think the biggest thing is trying to be kind to yourself. Good luck. We'll get there.

[@ashde9252]

I have been there also and what’s helping me is the book by Robert Green “the Laws of Human Nature”

[@armella.h]

Hello! It's being almost a year since you wrote this. I guess you're my age now "23"!! I can't imagine what you've been through because I didn't go through it.. But as a fellow ENFP I relate to your feelings and ambitions. We're creative and dreamy, but nobody understand us.. Not even our parents! I know it's hard when you want to achieve something and nobody believes in you. It's in us actually, we kinda need encouragement a lot. We need to be appreciated and complimented. And it's so hard when you're lonely and nobody notice you, but we can live with it! I Don't know what's you're plan, or if you have one (we usually don't, but you said not this time) but I trust that you can make it happen.. All human go through hard challenges in life. And you went through yours. GOOD NEWS: you survived, you should be proud of yourself! Maybe you regret the mess you made!! But regret is never a solution, work on it. Create a better version of yourself, and show everyone that you've changed! I hope things are going better now! Have a great life x)

[@lisamckibben7861]

I am 54, and still have issues with being myself, with my relationships and I have never really had a job that I loved as a career. I have never been married and have not been in a good romantic partnership since I was your age. If I could give you anything to carry with you, are several ' idioms' that are true. 1. Life is a journey, not a destination...and you can loose your way. Just try not to loose yourself. 2. To thine own self be true. You are the only one of YOU that there is. A unique child of God. 3. Everything happens for a reason, to teach you to be who you are MEANT to be and from that, you end up where you are SUPPOSED to be.

[@yoszania111]

Im so glad, ENFPs come here and share the thoughts, feelings.. Hug everyone -ENFP

[@ashleycnossen3157]

In other words, under extreme stress I become my mom.

[@eliciathompson8801]

Ohhhhh 🙄 yikes

[@jadaleewallace8566]

My mom is an ENFP as well, but my dad is ESTP so like ISTJ critical x100

[@emily8164]

SAME bc my mom is an istj lol

[@oleh2792]

Damn, my mom ISTJ too

[@andren.6156]

@@oleh2792 my mom also a ISTJ what the fuck? ISTJ parents create ENFP childs??? I think that my father is a ENFP or ENFJ both us are lefties :/

[@Mellyouttaphase]

I am an ENFP and the dark side behaviour happens once a month 😂 shiiiiittttt.

[@rosedebrantes28]

Melody Notmylastname periods? :'D

[@intrinsicallyme8404]

Melody Notmylastname how come? Edit: oh don't worry I got it lol...

[@esobeljaen1748]

Same heeeere

[@j.aolani]

Same af😂

[@Squirrellium]

If ENFP is under negative stress, they should not care about others who are out of alignment and stressed out and should not help others.. ENFP should learn to for once put themselves 1st esp when they're under stress,.. and find a way to reset themselves.

[@terezannakatona3487]

so true, but so difficult to learn this and do this for yourself when you are a real empath... you just drag others out from a pit or hold them on your shoulders and push them up while you are sinking deeper at the bottom of your own pit... does that make any sense?

[@Lafilledlapluie]

Thank you

[@nareshkumarsriparasara2354]

Roger That, I did the same out of luck or some God's hand. I felt like it's never too late to get over something or someone.

[@mamamememoo]

Very true. I had to learn how to shift. Tough tough tough.

[@nadinerick1182]

@@terezannakatona3487 That's why I isolate myself for a few hours or even days (if possible) every now and then. Just a bit of wellness, maybe reading or taking a walk, but ALONE.

[@princezzofthaking]

Google images quote: "There is nothing worse than a depressed ENFP. Nothing. Not even a dying Unicorn." 😮 BWAHAHAHAHA Dang.

[@intrinsicallyme8404]

Silk Kat anxiety plays a huge part of it

[@lajesq176]

If an ENFP gets depressed and can’t be cheered up, the world really may have come to and end.

[@divaoktavia7777]

@@lajesq176 yeah, I feel like I difficult to cheered up by anyone....cs ENFP used to be cheerleader to everyone 😅

[@VedaStahr]

Silk Kat lol

[@supersarah5673]

Awe I knew an ENFP at work under stress and I felt so bad for him:(:( he didn't deserve it!!

[@liesoares3598]

I can't deny, I love ENFPs. (I'm an INTJ)

[@user-qr2ny1tp8i]

nobody: the first INTJ that comes around:

[@khalidjaved5325]

Sweet ❤️

[@rafidahje8862]

😘😘😘

[@liesoares3598]

@@user-qr2ny1tp8i hahahahahaha

[@diranadhirahbaharin9813]

We love you too ❤️

[@valeriealbay5586]

"We're kinda like the Irish of personality types." 😂

[@enfp]

+Valérie Albay I'm glad someone finally appreciated this! Thank you Valerie

[@valeriealbay5586]

Dreams Around The World Really? I'm an ENFP and part Irish and you totally had me at that sentence 😂

[@haseo700]

Yeah, knowingly smiled at this :-)

[@maiv1232]

lol--me too...damn Irish luck, haha Freud couldn't figure us out either...oh, types too...lol

[@dravenocklost4253]

Was very funny indeed.

[@samd5417]

ENFP of the world, let's unite! I feel super understood on this channel!

[@wesmcneely406]

“And by glass I mean bottle” is the most ENFP thing I’ve ever heard lmao! Love this!

[@chrissy9876]

Altynay Rakhmatullina THIS 1000000%!!! 😂😂

[@PaudinsDrawings]

As an ENFP I haven't been drinking for 5 years

[@RoisinMcAuliffe]

Armando G. I find that drinking makes me depressed.

[@blisslilly1]

I'm 55 days sober. Alcohol is my kryptonite 😣

[@jadaleewallace8566]

I've found the bottle and it's lovely. Quit the weed at least.

[@irenelynette3845]

I find that I feel guilty if I try to earn money, if I am not contributing to the greater good in some way.

[@enfp]

Nothing wrong with that :) Find your way to contribute huge value and you can be rich too

[@MissMayK]

I feel this so much!!

[@Damesanglante]

@@enfp The hard part is mixing both. I don't want to exploit people, but i want to help. I also don't want to starve.

[@kiwiluma9104]

Usually I love telling stories, making people smile and share what makes me excited but when I'm scared I go into the opposite. I stop being creative and I'm scared to talk to people which is really not me . When I was in my early teens I actually thought I was an introvert because I hated talking to others but I always loved learning new things about other people. Just my mental health was bad at that time

[@mahavishnustravinskij]

I'm seeing a similar development in me. I've been struggling with depression, anxiety and panic attacks the last five years, not being able to go to school much at all. I find myself arguing, critizising and sometimes screaming at my parents. I feel cornered and I'm exhausted by any social interactions.

[@godlessgallivant7274]

Mahavishnu Stravinskij i hope you feel better

[@ariajia9224]

This used to be me. Try self realization exercises

[@rosiespaniel9941]

hey i just wanted to check up on you. how are you doing now?

[@Firishta001]

I'm in love with that painting on the wall!

[@leekflower1]

The painting is my mood the last few weeks

[@PrismMime47]

Hmm, who painted it and why is it on his wall...?

[@sitiyasminfauziakulsum_2e224]

Hajirah M me too

[@Philoxo]

Thank you, I am an enfp personality type and I have been in this “shadow state” for a long time and it has been ruining relationships of mine and overall letting this side of me ruin my mood and my everyday life, so I appreciate that you take the time and teach this do people who are lost like myself and don’t really know what to make of a situation like this, but now moving forward I know this isn’t who I am, so thank you for helping me realize this negative side of myself isn’t who I actually am.

[@Mikki220]

Jung said when you understand the shadow side of your personality, you will know yourself. I'm my shadow self in church.

[@hardstyle3196]

Mikki220 BHAHAHA!!😂

[@mattinglyfamily]

Really interesting point you made about “shadow self in church.” I’m very curious whether you were just being silly or serious.

[@GVOESPEE]

mattinglyfamily That's the thing with us enfps. Imo it's usually both. It's that back and forth play with the Fi and Te.

[@SlimmMilly]

Me too. In church.

[@Bonniebelle_00__]

Wow that like the worst place to have shadows Sonic moments at

[@bellebreeze]

Stress sucks the life out of us!!!

[@Squirrellium]

you're right... ENFP will feel off of they're following the routine and if they're doing it too much. #drained #unhappy can make you feel ungrateful

[@TheA2ztube]

I’m an ENFP that is very aware I am in extreme level of stress. This video was great, unbelievably relatable. I’ve experienced “the dark side” you described and I can view those experiences with a different perspective thanks to this vid. Thanks for posting!

[@Whoknows88-t9y]

I get you man. I lived in that dark side for years. But now I'm free. I hate to think of the person I was back then.

[@applejax1017]

It's crazy how spot on the personality types are. I am an ENFP through and through

[@muiscnight]

Being able to feel the moods of everyone and the world in general I can come off as either very open and funny or very cold and uninterested

[@enfp]

You're not alone in this...most ENFPs are all bubbly and happy all the time

[@RubyRobbins88]

My ENFP friend was very very stressed once, and was very snippy. I was super afraid to say or do anything around her. I knew that it wasn't really her real self and tried to get here to talk about what's going on. It helped some to at least understand what she was going through. I think it helped a little for her to realize how it was affecting her. I'm really glad she's in my life. We're like peanut butter and jelly it's the whole INFJ/ENFP mix :)

[@bettymontero2889]

WHOA! This is so on point! I spent almost two and a half years like that and my friends told me how much I changed. Left that job, and now I finally feel like myself again!

[@strawberryme801]

Omg, same! I was dealing with the end of a situationship that nobody knew about and it was eating me alive! It took me about a year to kinda be myself again...but it absolutely drove my parents crazy with worry and concern. Even to the point where my dad would start crying silently at night according to my mom. Often those closest to us notice it even before we really realize what's happening...and I only now realize how frustrating it must've been for them to not know what was going on. ^^' It's so hard to come out of that phase, because you don't even really realize what it is that is bothering you or how to fix it for the longest time.

[@ninawillow2429]

Please be aware: Ego - ENFP (Positive) Unconscious (shadow) - INFJ (Negative) Subconscious - ISTJ (Positive) Superego - ESTP (Negative)

[@jom1718]

Yeah and if I remember correctly subconscious is also like defense mechanism.

[@jom1718]

Not that it's always bad to do it because enfps need to be concentrating on details to make anything work but too much subconscious will make you feel lost.

[@elerindesign]

The positive stress can turn into the negative as well. To the body, chemically, it feels the same, but positive feels 'better', until the addiction to it becomes negative (aka you burn out, which we call negative). In today's world the positive is glorified, yet misunderstood. :) (another ENFP here :D )

[@obban12]

Spending too much time around people - too much novelty... yes. Sometimes I feel like I'm addicted to these things and as if I wouldn't know what to do if things were to slow down for a sec. I NEVER watch the same movie twice, maybe it's time. Thanks Dan.

[@yelitzagalan5670]

There are times when I make plans to do fun stuff almost anytime I can. Often to the point I neglect sleep. So I definitely understand that.

[@Whoknows88-t9y]

exactly. I can't watch the same movie twice. I get bored so easily. There's times when I'm screwed up I want to feel everything. I feel like I understand everyone. But that's a toll.

[@BediiBeastly]

Interesting. I did the test several times on two different sites. I really feel connected to the ENFP-Result, but one site often brought me a ENTP-Result and I found out that this result was 100% me during my mobbing-based school time. I was very obsessed with discussing people to the ground just to get my inner satisfaction. After finishing school and losing my father (cancer) I started exploring myself and found my empathatic, friendly inner me which is 100% ENFP.

[@mypandalikesrice]

Been living this for like 2 years. Super stressed stoped taking my anti dep meds and for some reason I clicked on this at the right moment. I'm very sensitive to stress. I can't handle it almost at all anymore. It's been destroying every layer I have left in me. Thanks for the info! Super interesting!

[@timtom3073]

How is it going? Did this video helped you?

[@psz931]

Somehow I always felt that we ENFPs are people who often feel themselves as blessed with the ability to be happy uninentionaly. And because of this whenever a stressful event happened I just overcame it. We ENFPs are so good at dealing with stress BUT when something too big black cloud comes and takes us down it's the hardest to stand up again. I felt this on my own skin when back in February a depressed period of my life started. I just felt like I lost this inner happiness and I thought that the feeling was a lie all along. I felt like I'm not safe anymore I constantly wanted to go back, get back these values which were inside me but everytime I tried my mind started to overthink things and I ended up taking those emotion as a lie. That the reality is the one that I actually feel not the one that I felt during the past years, I thought I just fooled myself. It would be long to explain all the aspects and reasons of this story but I must say overthinking things are our main problem. We want to understand even that one which can't be described or understood by our mind. Just can be felt by our soul. But I'm starting to get into my shape again ;P Keep going forward my ENFP buddies. We carry the hope of the world!

[@crystallizedbooger3338]

This is accurate for me. Prolonged stress. I am super critical, triggered, judgemental, isolating, on and on and on and I find that my closest friends get so scared of me because they are not used to seeing me this way as opposed to me just being a regular douche and they like me anyway. I may need to forego this super stable job and the security it comes with it cuz the very things I think will make future secure will be my own undoing. Sigh...that is a stressful decision.

[@enfpflower5751]

My mom and my brother are both e/istjs and I get into argumentative fights almost everyday with them, it's consuming me. The only person who I can talk to is my dad, he understands me. They say that I'm a failure because I can't do as good as them practical tasks and that I'm not good enough. I wish I could take a break from them.

[@hardstyle3196]

Illegirl Without dimples 😧 Ugh yeah, that's the WORST feeling "that you will never be enough" for them no matter how hard you try! :,S wish u the best

[@enfpflower5751]

Hard Style thank you 😌

[@gabrielleyap6985]

i relate 100%, my mother is an estj and it's so tiring when she scolds me for things i dont really think is wrong. My father is the only one understands me too, and unfortunately he has already passed away, so im left to fight my own battle.

[@enfpflower5751]

Brian Jansen same

[@PoliticalNomads]

Yes, same!!!! I think my dad is an ESTJ so I’ve been trying to read into his personality to try and understand his views a bit better. It’s really hard though...I feel like I just crawl into a shell whenever he criticizes me or tells me I’m not doing something good enough. I feel like I have to hide my emotions because he doesn’t understand them. :( My mom generally understands me though, which is nice! I think she’s also an ENFP or something similar.

[@ariadnagomez-kelly5393]

I’m an ENFP and an Irish person living in Ireland so 😂

[@enfp]

Oh wow....

[@ariadnagomez-kelly5393]

Dreams Around The World That felt sarcastic..? 😅

[@catherinetreme3527]

Haha, hilarious!

[@simonm2423]

Irish² 😂😂

[@MsJilliard]

Dito :) it can be hard haha

[@HollyTheExploder]

Dude !!!! Yes !!! When I’m under stress I think I’m more INFP but I really believe this what you’re saying! Im an enfp social worker so obviously the stress is very high

[@camrongraziano1254]

I get ENFP on the tests but always feel INFP. I guess that just means I'm under stress and need to balance out.

[@adarynk]

Hi, INFP here. I'm trying to understand immature or emotionally underdeveloped ENFPs, as I've been friends with one and there's one in my friend circle. She still owes me money from a couple years ago and won't admit the mistakes she's made. There's been a great deal of effort on her end to avoid talking about it and working it out. I tried to present her with a safe, compassionate space where we could talk about it, and I asked her to explain the situation from her perspective. She went on to say that she "doesn't really remember what happened" and that there was "miscommunication on both sides" but that she's "glad we can both move past it." But the fact of the matter is that she never paid me back, she hasn't owned up to her mistake, and now she's trying to shift the blame onto me for something she did (not pay me back). I'm a very forgiving person when people apologize and own up to their mistakes, but I don't think she can take criticism and I'm not sure if this friendship has any potential anymore. I just can't trust her

[@willowway42]

As someone who had slowly turned into someone unrecognizable, this was spot on. Thanks Dan ♡

[@user-ho1jq4wq4v]

INFJ here, loving watching you!

[@DeadPoetsS0ciety]

I've been trying to start 2 businesses and move out of my parents' house (post breakup and mid-COVID). I'm stressed due to these circumstances. I've been getting into this mode where I'm learning all the logistics of starting a business and I'm organizing information and it's super super hard for me. I've been feeling guilty about going out and doing things instead of working on my business and saving money. My life right now... I'm going to allow myself to go out after watching this. Thank you.

[@hellohollydesign]

I had no idea about the "Shadow Side" of personality traits! Thank you for explaining what that is in ENFP language and how to deal with it! This is about the 4th video I've watched and I feel like I've already learned so much (even though I've been aware of personality types for several years and, of course, done massive bursts of research on them) your insights and way of presenting them is phenomenal. No long intro, no music in the background, no extra anything, just you talking straight really helps me focus on your message. Keep it up!

[@KamilleWalksWithSpirits7]

Dear god did i need to see this today! I am so new to the whole world of Myers-Briggs and the fact that i m a text book ENFP. Thank you so much for this video, as i am gong through ongoing 'bottom of the triangle" type stress. I now have deeper insight into certain unattractive behaviors i am exhibiting. Your warmth and sincerity, especially at the end of this felt like a hug lol. Thank you!!

[@enfp]

You're very welcome, but I prefer not to be worshipped as a god. It's a little too much for me ;) Happy to hear it helped you learn more about yourself. Dan

[@TanyaSehgal95]

@@enfp I don't think they were calling you God. If it was supposed to be funny then ignore me. 😅

[@ILive2Rescue]

“Take time away from the stressor.” I’ve always been extremely faithful to taking care of my personal needs, which lucky for me, my husband always supported. (Even when that meant going to a hotel, with *only* my dog, one weekend a month to de-stress from compassion fatigue.) Unfortunately, my husband of 20 years passed away last February, I had a minor stroke 4 months later, another one 3 weeks after that, and I’ve recently been diagnosed with nerve palsy along with a host of other medical problems stemming from a near fatal car accident back in 2002. All of that, on top of being forced to stop rescuing, trying to take care of a home we bought, the “lifer” animals (who are unadoptable for a variety of reasons), and everything else like trying to pay my bills, deciding which doctor I will or will not be able to afford to go to (typically the latter), trying to figure out “genius” ways to eat ramen noodles just so I’ll have enough food for the month, etc., all on a $960 SS income, is proving to be even more challenging than it sounds. *HOWEVER,* After being crippled (mentally, psychologically, emotionally, and physically) for nearly two years since my soulmate passed, I recently started crafting again. Just spending that hour or two every day is proving to be exactly what the doctor ordered, _literally._ I also just wanted to mention that I agree with you 100% when you said that watching a movie you’ve seen before really helps. My literary professor called them “popcorn movies”. Movies you can watch (not _always_ movies you’ve seen before) that don’t require you too think too much. In general, movies that you can walk away from for 10 minutes, and you won’t be lost when you come back. Think the exact opposite of “The Usual Suspects”. I just recently found your channel, and I’ve really enjoyed your content. For that, for contributing to my emotion well-being, I thank you, kind sir! ✌🏼

[@giovannigarcia5895]

Sending you love and positive vibes. I hope you’re around people that love you

[@ILive2Rescue]

Giovanni Garcia Thank you, seriously thank you for your kind comment. I haven’t been around _any people_ irl for over almost 2 years now. For some reason, the people in my life couldn’t understand why I was so depressed just 3 months after my husband passed, even telling me to “get over it”. I’ve always been a a very strong person, _especially_ on the outside. The person they were use to seeing was the one whom, even after I lost my son shortly after birth, I threw myself into my school work, acing every subject. Then, when my Mom died when I was 25, I threw myself into my work, immediately deciding to travel to different industrial construction jobs that required working 7/12’s. What they didn’t see, was all of the internal struggle I faced, or the drug addiction that I suffered with for 2 years, because I was still functioning, still traveling and working 84 hours a week. Unfortunately, when people are use to seeing you so strong, I guess they can’t comprehend how you could fall apart after such a huge loss like when my husband passed. They didn’t take into consideration all of the losses that I suffered through previously, not only my entire life, but especially the ones right around the time my husband passed, including loosing several animals, including my heart dog and cats. I blame myself though. I guess I should’ve been more open and vulnerable with them during the other tragedies, then maybe they could understand why I’m still suffering of depression so badly even now. The *only reason* I’m still here today is because of people like you, kind strangers on the internet who show such love and compassion for their fellow man. For them, including you, I am extremely grateful. So, again, thank you!! 🙏

[@2013StarSearch]

God led me to your channel. Miraculously. I kept waiting for you to say...Divorce....and then right after a man i trusted emotionally took advantage of me...so yes been so stressed....So thank fullI found this. ❤ I subscribed..I am such a proud ENFP THANK YOU

[@delfi909]

I wouldn’t say i’m the most optimistic human being on earth (which is pretty unlikely for an ENFP), but i do notice that when i’m under stress (which happens quickly) i get VERY pessimistic, that’s why i thought i was a pessimist for a long time, although i only am when under stress

[@pamelavalencia7334]

This is so true. I was in a lot of stress caused by my parents and study when I was in high school. When a personality test came up in the school, the test says that I'm ISTJ. Of course I believed that but I never feel like I'm my true self until one day I broke down into depression and saw a therapist. Everthing became much clearer and better. Then I retake the test my therapist provided, and turned out I'm the complete opposite! I'm an ENFP!

[@haseo700]

"By glass I mean bottle" 🍷 lol 😂

[@enfp]

+Oban :)

[@gabrielazajicova7217]

Dan! Next time you should try Oban Single Malt :)))

[@AnnaVonEndYT]

Thanks for the video, it is super relatable. Have been living as my shadow self for the last half year. But finally got a new job and can leave my job from hell , so I feel super relieved now.

[@enfp]

+LittleKorok that's weird. I always assumed the devil would be a pretty fun dude to work for and I imagine the perks would be amazing. On the other hand, God seems like a real by the books stj hard ass.

[@ksyushakostyuk8449]

This was right on time. And so relatable, thank you!

[@jadenjosharc]

As an ENFP I’m not sure if its just me but whenever I’m undergoing a stressful moment and my ‘shadow personality’ comes out I feed off the negative energy and it keeps me motivated and going. Anyone else?

[@cosmicflowstudio]

Great talk! I have definitely met the shadow side; choose to stay away from people until I could release it. I think it was positive to see things through this lens but I am extremely glad to be my bright and happy self again. STRESS IS A BEAST! I wish we could all go on a relaxing vacation when things got stressful; unfortunately not everyone is afforded that privilege:( I know I will be grateful when I get to see the ocean again. One day soon, I hope.

[@enfp]

Living close to some kind of nature that reminds us how small our problems are is always good. Volcanos, ocean, etc :)

[@snicolek6590]

The last time I fell into ISTJ mode was 3 years ago after a horrible break-up, and then taking on a new career in a toxic work environment, and then getting fired from the job. It was the worst ISTJ Mode I had ever experienced, and I ended up in the ER.

[@boredpandacafe]

Oh gawd... that moment when you say "You basically take on the shadow of an INTJ..." My ex is an INTJ!! It was such an outer body experience! I disliked myself so much and became really depressed! Then I got up one morning and moved to Washington state. LIFE'S TOO SHORT!! YOLO!

[@BarbaraMerryGeng]

Wow ~ this is my 3rd video from your channel, and all I can say, is big EXHALE 🧜🏼‍♀️ Feels so good to be affirmed 👸🏻 I recall flipping from confident / super action hero, to demon possessed witch, and wondering why can’t I stay golden ? ~ As I got older, I thought, “ oh, I must be a fussy control freak, & I freak out when my world unravels.. Funny thing, it’s unraveled quite a few times. I used to think I was cursed, but now I think I do it to myself because I’m impatient & prefer to CREATE HAVOC & LET LOOSE THE DOGS OF WAR, instead of just say, “ chow for now”, .. got to try something new. I’m this way about most everything. I am super fascinated, and I love very passionate entanglement, if things become too mild, I loose interest. And usually, never go back. I have a long history of being like that. ~ However, in these days, I am developing new patterns. I am trying to develop a more modified interest, so that I don’t burn out too fast. I am practicing returning to visit things I once loved, this includes activities, people, places, etc. I am practicing hold on, wait & see, instead of jumping to end / something, or get involved very deeply with something immediately .. I am practicing pacing myself, and leaving space between this & that.. and taking breaks to be in stillness ... doing nothing at all..🧚‍♂️I gave up trying to save the world on a large scale... now I localize my heroism, to one to one, small micro movements ... intuitively it feels right. ~ I found your you ✨🙋🏻‍♀️✨channel today, by chance ..thank you for being HERE

[@ChantelStays]

I’m an infj but I feel like I can relate very well to enfp and infp, so it makes me wonder ... thanks for your videos :)

[@enfp]

In many ways we are more similar than we are different

[@kadsenvieh]

INFJ is the shadow of the ENFP ...maybe thats why u can relate so much. kzbin.info/www/bejne/m3OoY2CEqpysr9U

[@AgentRicePooh]

Very great topics for ENFP's, we tend to get stressed out easily so I can completely relate to the points mentioned.

[@saysay7342]

WOW. The ISTJ description for shadow personality was spot on. I have been slowly becoming aware of that undertaking and I haven't been able to point it out exactly to assess what I need to work on being more aware of so I don't self-sabotage

[@enfp]

Awesome to hear

[@sole.81]

I needed to hear this today. I was unnecessarily snappy with someone I care about and i feel so bad now. Thank you!

[@julimiller8906]

How do you know me so perfectly?!! This is so cool to learn more about me. I honestly thought I was just broke. Haha. The traits I thought I was completely alone in, I'm not. Lol

[@enfp]

Not alone juli :)

[@jaytamayo4694]

I felt the brokeness in business too. I am an INTJ by the way.

[@kellyclearly7327]

Thanks this came at the right time! I've noticed this in myself lately. I've not been feeling myself, kind of unsettled and nervous. I'm not sure if it's because everything is changing at the moment with leaving one business and starting another. Though it's strange because usually I feel excitement in these circumstances, and thrive on change and future possibilities, not having it all worked out etc. you all know the score! Interesting though my husband and my parents are going through an unsettling time with jobs, money, the possibility of having to moving. These are people who don't deal well at all with uncertainty 😮 and crave structure and security, and the known, and so I wonder if I it might feeling their emotions and their stress and that's what's leading me to feel like this. I do get very easily drained by the emotions of others so I wonder if this could happen! Thank you for this video 😊

[@belenabyes3103]

"drink a glass of expensive wine and by glass I mean bottle" 😂😂😂

[@ai-bugged]

As an enfp, hearing you talk made me feel sleepy so couldn't focus ✨😘

[@enfp]

Sorry I fell asleep reading your comment

[@oblivioustraveller5555]

I’m so negative towards people when I get badly stressed. I’m learning to be more assertive when I detect warning signs so that I don’t blow up my whole life because I’m stretched beyond my limits.

[@cosmicsweatergod6792]

I can't escape my stress because everything in my life stresses me out. I can't take time off work, I can't take time off school. I cannot slow down, can't take a breath. I just have to wait until summer, which is an eternity from now

[@stormyraine2411]

CosmicSweaterGod same then when I see other people stressed or sad I put them before myself adding up to the stress and then everything just gets repetitive it’s so stressful

[@cosmicsweatergod6792]

@@stormyraine2411 EXACTLY!!!

[@stormyraine2411]

CosmicSweaterGod yay someone who understands!

[@TheSheepster]

I've been stressed about overthinking life itself every day. I've always been thinking: How do I appreciate what I have? How do I be productive? And I end up going against having change, because I'm scared I'll develop a tolerance to that happiness and not appreciate my life as it is. But I realise, that probably isn't true, and either way, I shouldn't be overthinking that.

[@enfp]

In the nicest way possible, we both know that's a really dumb approach to life :)

[@murendenin4697]

Is it normal for an ENFP to feel like they arent going to achieve anything or that they feel that they'll fail in live??

[@puterinurain7526]

As a 20 years old ENFP, I feel like this too. Maybe because there' s a lot of dream that we want to achieve but all of them feel distance out of reach. Come on we are ready. Let's give the best out of it. Keep going💪

[@brookeschoen3827]

ENFP here! Currently sharing an apartment with another ENFP lol. I’ve noticed that we share a lot of the same “dark ENFP” traits, but we also differ vastly. I’ve always considered him to be the stereotypical, might-as-well-be-a-puppy-dog ENFP, while I veer off more with my Ne than he does. Whenever he gets stressed, he 100% overthinks everything, stresses himself out more, yells at everyone, and then immediately apologizes because he never wants to hurt anyone (definitely also an empath lol). I, on the other hand, feel like I’m the more self-destructive one, where I will literally sink into a blackhole of doing nothing because I get overwhelmed with how much I have to do even though that literally makes no sense and is not helping me at all lol. I notice that we often alternate though based on who is stressed about what. It’s always interesting to have us stressed together in the same room because we either just continue a cycle of yelling at each other and then apologizing, or else we sit and play Super Mario for 10 hours straight together even though we’re two days away from the end of the semester 😅 I love living with an ENFP, though; everyone always gives us weird looks when we converse about morality and the psychology of mass shooters while eating Kraft mac and cheese for dinner lol. Anyone ENFPS have an experience similar with another ENFP? Also! This is my first time commenting on an MBTI video, so I’m just curious; what is the ENFP consensus about INFPs lol? Been dating my INFP girlfriend for almost two years now!

[@darkdelphin834]

As an ENFP... Well, tbh sometimes most of these stuff don't feel as relatable to me but in this video... That's the most relatable I have been to the stereotype of this personality type...

[@aureliaavalon]

Same.

[@Nieveek]

This is literally the situation I'm in now, had to take two weeks off for my mental health. Only back to work yesterday, started to see a therapist last week who got me to do the 16 personality test and I am an ENFP-T. Found your channel yesterday and it is really helping me understand who I am. I have never really understood myself before and always put everything down to my depression. Thanks so much Dan for this Channel.

[@princessventia]

I always start something enthusiasticly and usually I do it very well, even it is a new thing for me. But when I got dissapointed in it, got stressed, or got bored, I always try to find another thing to do. I am depressed looking at my Working Experiences because it keeps changing to different direction every year. Help 😂

[@harpy7094]

Few years ago a lot of really bad stuff happened to me. I was in a huge amount of stress. Then one day I noticed how much I changed and what I was doing, I was disgusted in myself and decided to try and bring my normal self back. I changed schools because I felt like I needed to, my family and I moved to a different city. I started to feel a little better. I got diagnosed with depression. I am still trying to get better. And these two personalities where I am good and not good got mixed together, and I don’t like it because I am being positive in a bad way, for example “we all are gonna die, haha lol” it really disturbs some people around me. I hope I’ll get to my normal self one day. Sorry if my English is bad, I am Russian

[@xderen_xd]

JAH BLESS, this is where I come when I am constantly felling bad and then I remember "Oh I really feel so drained because almost all the days of this year (all january) I have been with people and I disconected with myself so I need some time with me". Dude this is real, at this point I was going to explain all my life but I am maturing as an ENFP hahaha but really sometimes you just need quality time with yourself

[@David-xd1ii]

I'm in that shadow state since I got married, I'm with an INTP and I would argue with her at least 3 times per week, I find marriage really freaking boring also lost a business 3 times with over 800K in losses and I'm sort of blowing up. I want to move away and push a reset button because I'm getting really angry every day.

[@chescasarmiento7890]

When I got diagnosed with depression, I became an INTP. I feel ya.

[@zofialachmann2973]

Wow. I have finaly understood, why other people sees me as a very unpleasant person, even though i am ENFP. Stupid stress, i ended up in music Scholl where i was supopsed to find other people just like me, but, oh god, i found the opposite ones. And It would explain, why i am still my shadow-self at home. Becouse of my dad, who is (again) my opposite and we can't get along. Every little converstation turns into argument, yet my family blames me. I wish i could take pretty long break and change my life.

[@mattinglyfamily]

Really, your presentations are always remarkably insightful. Thank you. It’s like having a friend who really “gets” you. Blessings. Gene

[@almeyh.5619]

Just found this video and thanks to this I finally realized what happend to me the last 2 years. I‘m permanent on my ENFP Dark Side, always thinking everyone wants to controlle me, always shooting on everyone for actually nothing, not feeling like myself anymore. and i have no idea how to come out off this. But now that i know what’s wrong with me, i may can get out off it. thanks for this video it really helped me understanding myself.

[@quemcantaoconto3172]

A high level of empathy can be pretty dangerous here...

[@michealmacgearailt8232]

As an Irish ENFP, I salute you sir

[@enfp]

I'll be visiting your beautiful country next week! Send me an email through my site and perhaps we can grab a drink

[@joeryder5739]

I’m an ENFP in my 3rd year of engineering and I freaking hate it!! I had to choose to study engineering because there were too many choices and I couldn’t pick one up,so my parents admitted me into engineering and told me I could do whatever I want after I get a professional degree. But the thing is, I cannot use my strengths in this field,because they are totally unrelated. My parents are really disappointed in me and won’t get off my back telling me how I’m a failure and live in a dream world,and all my strengths are distractions and I don’t have any real stuff in me.. I am totally out of place at my college and I’m about done with life. I’ve come close to self harm today.. I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this shit..

[@lobitb8783]

Joe Ryder i can relate with you. i had a lot of choices and had difficulty picking a college course so I went for what my dad wanted for me: accounting then law. every year, i wanted to quit both courses. but i decided to stay and finally graduated from both courses. what helped me stay on was my involvement in organizations for my courses, which I eventually came to lead. the rest is history, and i’m now a CPA Lawyer with 10 years of post-qualification experience as a lawyer. as an ENFP, i’m not exactly jumping up and down with my career choice (although at least, i do like giving legal and business counsel to people) and i’ve hopped from one job to another. on its face, my resume looks awful. and i feel bad about it, sometimes to the point of depression. there was a time i almost resorted to self-harm, but was miraculously intercepted by a Pastor. since then, my faith helped keep me grounded. although i still struggle with depression and disappointment over the state of my career. why am i sharing this with you? early on, i hope and pray that you could discover and pursue your true passion and purpose (your ikigai). if it is engineering, may you find an aspect of engineering that truly piques your interest and resonates with you. blessings!

[@misterel5548]

Ive been living my dark side for years now.

[@MsJilliard]

Tell us more..

[@nesibehilalkaragoz]

As an ENFP last year at the begging of the quarantine I didn't know what to do because I had a real big exam and needed to go to school but I couldn't so I became very stressful. Then I took some spiritual classes but instead of healing myself, I suffered more. Because of the stress I was always focusing on the negative side of all the things and criticizing myself too hard. I was at the point where I didn't talk to people at all and almost finishing my important friendships. I couldn't eat and lost a lot of weight, bc of the loss I wasn't able to understand almost nothing but thank God my grandma realized the creepy situation and we started to talk, analyze the situation and get out of the negative thoughts improving myself physically and mentally. The stress effect was more personal on me than your experience. Maybe it's because we were at the quarantine. But after a year almost I'm better and rn I see the positive impact of the experience I had. Thanks for the video, it's really helpful especially the suggestions for getting out of the situation. Hopefully everyone is OK and aware of how rare they are!

[@bethanyhughes958]

LOVE your channel! I am am ENFP through and through and this is SO relatable

[@enfp]

Thank you :)

[@Lisa_Fernandezhomeandlifestyle]

Watching this on the way to the spa! 🤪

[@SEVENTHREEANDNINE]

I think environment is huge for us too. Outlets like nature preferably a hike with a grounded optimist friend! Or a pet.. living in chaos or not having our people close to see often or sporadic intimate relationships is boring! And boredom or not seeing a slice of adventure feels exhausting Booking a plane ticket.. instant relief!

[@mairead354]

"Us ENFPs, we're like the Irish of personality types" ...Irish ☘️ ENFP watching here! 🖐🏻😅👀

[@paulinevelasco2652]

I wasn't actively looking for this video but I'm really glad that I stumbled upon it. I've been experiencing a lot difficult moments since the start of the year and I feel like I'm kind of losing myself. I'm doing things I don't like to do, I worry a lot, I care too much about things I don't normally care about, I care about what other would think (like insecurities and my looks which I don't normally do), and having negative thoughts about other people (which I HATE doing and have been consciously avoiding for the longest time). I know that I have a lot on my plate and I am stressed, but it's nice knowing that I'm not alone and other people also have the same experience. It's nice hearing it out loud. Thank you for the advice! Would definitely do it.

[@enfp]

Glad I've helped, Isla!

[@shanescott5847]

Every time I watch stuff made by an ENFP it's like watching hours of thinking about myself play out. By with no time wastage. It's like another version of myself that's how close these situations are to my life.

[@mine6841]

Omg man last year i was kinda in that place like so bad and everything u said, even my sister said i was afraid of u at those times. after i solve everything out i started to came back to my self but this really made me relieved about those times..

[@jocelyneke6445]

I get overwhelmed easily. I do overthink and since COVID I spend hours reading online news. I find it hard to finish chores.

[@bjweiser32]

Definitely experienced some shadow personality-ness during this last year lol

[@ladyfoxwf1075]

Am I the only ENFP who doesn't trust anybody? Sometimes I just think I'm a broken ENFP. I get excited and love meeting people but I never recieve the same energy, and I just feel stuck. No-one else in my family are ENFP's so they don't understand. I'm not happy go lucky put it that way. I've been really empathetic recently but for years I wasn't, I was looking out for myself more anyway. I must be going through this shadow thing.

[@michellearguello7083]

I relate %100 I’m going through that right now. I know it’s not me and it doesn’t make me happy but I’m working on getting myself back to normal. Thank you for reminding me that i’m not the only one and it’s possible to get back to being myself

[@enfp]

You're very welcome Michelle

[@jeydawellness]

all the short term stress fix suggestions are the ones i always go for too, including rewatching a favorite movie, it helps so much :)

[@enfp]

Awesome :)