The Enneagram and Marriage ft. Christa Hardin - Episode 210

[@starlingswallow]

I went through a time of thinking enneagrams were demonic 😮😅 but it has really helped me and MANY people!! The road back to you is a great book ❤

[@lisajohnson4744]

I never thought much about the enneagram in particular, but the “satanic panic” of the ‘80s definitely left its mark on me, and I find myself wondering what the heck I wanted to be so superstitious for? 🤣

[@sackettfamily4685]

Yeah the logic behind the, "ennanigrams are satanic" is confusing to follow!

[@micahbush5397]

I wouldn't call it "demonic," but from what I've read, there are some weird ideas behind it that I would classify as superstitious.

[@rivendells_shona]

@@micahbush5397I’m a huge fan of MBTI (which is also called by some “pseudoscience”) but enneagram struck me as little sus in its origins. Demonic? Nah. But less clear-cut than even Jungian psychology. 😂. My biggest concern is when people get cultish about any of these tools. Don’t put yourself in a box, folks! 🙃

[@cecyc5556]

The author does talk about it that way…it’s on KZbin, easy to find.

[@rosieschweebie]

Yes, that definitely sounds like Sheila. 😊 I’m a 2 with a wing 1 and my husband is a 5, but I can’t remember his wing. The book sounds really good.

[@bjbrandt2506]

This is tough. I love what you all are doing to help Christians have better, more Christlike relationships, especially in marriage. And I am not willing to throw the baby out with the bath water. Still, this video is troubling. First, the comparing George Gurdijeff to SIr Isaac Newton or Johannes Kepler is deceptive. One of these men sought to give his followers "a direct, felt sense of the meaning of symbol and the processes it represents" (Enneagram Institute) and "taught the symbol primarily through a series of sacred dances or movements" (ibid). The other two sought to share the understanding of a regulated Universe through logic and reasoning. Secondly, to compare Newton's investigation into alchemy or Kepler's obsession with his horoscope to Gurdijeff's pursuit of inner work as a pathway to God is fallacious reasoning. Are we to believe that alchemy led Newton to discover calculus or develop the theory of gravity? Did Kepler read his daily horoscope and discover the heliocentric model in the message to Capricorns around the world? You know what, fine. What if we are only talking about a personality test. Then why the use of a spiritual, metaphysical symbol that is meant to guide people in the self-journey back to God, if we actually believe the words of Jesus in John 14:6 "I (Jesus, not me) am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me (again, Jesus there talking about himself, no some inner revelation)."

[@rivendells_shona]

Not saying this as a disagreement: but I see enneagram as a tool, like MBTI or Gungor’s FLAG assessment. Like all tools, it has flaws and potential for abuse. It’s troubling when people put themselves or others in boxed because of their type-“I can’t help it, I’m hard-wired this way.” But as a road map for helping to predict (and thus prepare for or correct) one’s own knee-jerk responses to circumstances (or the responses of those in our lives), it can be helpful. Just so long as people don’t define themselves or others by it.

[@brahman-atma8839]

​@@rivendells_shona Well said

[@rachelshield2060]

I knew you were an 8 🙌 😂

[@micahbush5397]

8:16 "Vice" and "sin" are not the same thing; sins are specific acts, while vices are character flaws. Avarice is a vice; a specific act of theft or defrauding is a sin.

[@ArtistLynneSleiman]

I think that is the point right? It is a tendency (vice) that a person can tend towards, but knowing what our tendency might be we can choose to not sin in that area.. but if we are blind to what our vice tendency might be we might also be blind to the sin that could easily entangle us.

[@jrbontje2415]

A vice could be called a temptation but in Corinthians it says we have a way out of temptation and don’t need to do the sin

[@violethatchell3796]

I’m really surprised to see that you guys support the enneagram when you’re usually so evidence based? even if we disregard it’s controversial beginnings it’s not exactly good science. I love almost everything you guys do, so I just want to encourage you to do better here!

[@Lucy-z8h5g]

Disappointing to see the enneagram endorsed (especially coming from Bare Marriage who are usually evidence based and data aware). I'm not a huge fan of Alisa Childers, however she does have a helpful discussion regarding the enneagram over on her channel - here's the link to the video for anyone who might be interested: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aYq6qZiBhsuaocU

[@donmoss568]

This is pagan😮

[@danicapapali7810]

Why are the assessments so different based on where you take them? Also when leaving high control environments that you were born into the types change, several times, sooo what is that? Also neurodivergence how does this align, the math just isn’t math/ing. 😂🫠

[@micahbush5397]

I honestly wouldn't put much stock in it. Listening to Shiela's description of her type reminded me a bit of the kind of fortunes given by palm readers, so I decided to read the descriptions for all the types. They are sufficiently broad and vague that I could see being classified in at least half of the categories, and it seems to work mainly through flattery and confirmation bias. That's probably the point of the "wings," to broaden out the description enough to cover any obvious holes. I'm a bit surprised that a data-driven woman like Shiela seems to take this seriously.

[@BlakemanTribe]

Hi! I can say that as one heals from controlling childhood environments, more layers of the true self come to the surface. It might take time, but the essence of who you are and how God created you can come into light with the help of the enneagram. Different seasons and levels of health play a part in how you test. Neurodivergence does come into play with personality! Another layer of the Enneagram is about the wings and the Subtypes. It’s so fun and interesting to learn about. Consider it a tool that is less “exact” so to speak, and more of a watercolor picture of personality with lots of blends and variation. I hope this helps!

[@ArtistLynneSleiman]

It can be really hard to figure out because so many resources kind of use stereotypes of each type? Like they make it too simple. Some ways to figure out your type (if you want to) is to watch panel discussions with the types describing their experiences (like Beatrice Chestnut has on KZbin) and seeing which groups of people you identify with most. You can start with the numbers you got on a test to see if those fit. You can also follow the arrows of those numbers from your results. For instance, I thought I was one number because my actual number went there in health. Paying attention to how you are in health/growth and how you respond to the world when you are in stress can be a way to see which main number you are (as each number has a line to another number for how they behave in growth or stress)-- so that can be eye opening and helpful. Also, reading about the deepest fears of each type with curiosity and just take note of how you respond. You might have a gut reaction to one even if your brain is saying no of course that isn't what I fear. Remember this is all about finding your own blind spot and pattern. No one else can pin that down for you totally because it is about your internal experience and motivation. But yes.. it can be difficult to figure out! It is worth it if you do want to though! Once I figured out my type the Holy Spirit used that moment to gently reveal my issues so that I could repent and grow and love others better. ❤️

[@lisajohnson4744]

I also found it very vague and non-specific when I first read about it. I had friends who were really into it, and I just thought they were crazy. But then I was listening to a woman on Adam Young’s podcast who mentioned that a 9 (I think) had enough elements of many traits to make it really hard for them to narrow it down. So I think I may be a 9, but I have never taken the time to research it further.

[@kristinbond]

Both Enneagram and Meyers-Briggs helped my husband and I so much in our marriage, parenting, and jobs. Knowing my husband is a 6 helps me be much more gracious when he hyper focuses on things to help keep us secure (car maintenance, house maintenance, etc…he’s also ADHD…hence the hyper focusing). He takes soooo much time preparing for a trip or even just an afternoon hike. Lol! Understanding that I’m a 9 and I need downtime (and I have lower energy) has helped him understand that I can’t keep up with his energy level and also helps me to allow myself rest without feeling guilty. He is very sweet and makes sure I get my downtown because he knows I need it. Anyway, we are all complex people and it has been very helpful to have language to explain and understand our differences. Plus, I loved hearing about the study of Australian children. We have 3 boys and they have been helping with housework since they were very young (they are now all teenagers). I love that they will enter into adulthood not expecting a woman to take care of them. 😊