The Fairytale of New Clothes (and new stuff in general, honestly)

[@paulat5921]

I love the thumbnail. "You are what makes the clothes." That is so sweet and makes me smile. Thank you.

[@annie-sc]

"Not every day has to be a slay" I actually like that. 😂 And speaking of which, I think you SLAYED in that outfit in this video 😂

[@AnasNoBuyYear2025]

The idea that we all have permission to “look bad” and not have to feel bad about it is so interesting to put into words. It’s weird to think that the default is to judge ourselves and others for not looking awesome, but it’s totally true. I’m really struggling lately because I feel so uncomfortable in my clothes and I feel like everything looks bad on me - I know no one around me cares at all bc everyone is just thinking about themselves and their own lives, so it’s not even exclusively about wanting to be perceived in a certain way by others but wanting to see myself in a certain way so I can feel good. And this dissatisfaction with my appearance has led to lots of time shopping and thinking about shopping for clothes that will make me feel good. I think I feel neutral about myself when I intentionally put no thought into my outfit/hair/make up and am intentionally prioritizing something else, but I do feel frustrated and bad about myself when I am trying to look good/nice but something just isn’t looking right or working for me.

[@tami2093]

You have so perfectly put together how I feel as well. I feel as though I am not presenting my true self through my fashion, and in turn, people's impression of me is not what I want when in reality, I don't really have control over what others think of me. I currently don't have the funds to dress the way I'd like to all the time and I do think it can be frustrating especially when social media exposes us to people who are having fun with fashion whether it is trending or something completely out of the box and it reminds us of what we lack. My consolation is that over time I will build a wardrobe I love eventually and just need to be patient.

[@Alexas.nobuyyear]

Sorry that you're struggling lately! Definitely understand where you're coming from though. When I think about it some more, I guess this is why many fashion creators suggest having a "uniform" of sorts, to have that kind of fail-safe option that we know we will feel at least "okay" in, all the time. I sort of have one of those, but my problem with it is that I don't feel very "interesting" or inspired in my fail-safe uniform, and that's one of my motivations when getting dressed each day I suppose, to feel like I'm wearing something interesting, or at the very least, something super comfortable. And my uniform is neither of those. Maybe I need to re-think my "uniform" option...

[@Afreshneedle]

The part about judgement reminds me of a quote I read like 2.5 million years ago. It basically said the first thought/ judgement is what society taught you to think. The second thought/ judgement is actually your own. After reading that I notice that my first thoughts were always the meanest to myself and others, while the second thought was always finding something positive. Now I try to listen to the second thought (which has become louder over the years) instead of my first, because the initial judgement is never helpful. It's allowed me to find joy in seeing the cool way others express themselves through fashion without judging myself or them.

[@Alexas.nobuyyear]

Ooh interesting! So our own thoughts are second instinct to our societal conditioning according to that - I'll have to think about that too, I have a feeling that I might feel some truth in that too, at least some of the time (perhaps most especially in judgements of myself!)

[@JehanineMelmoth]

That is really interesting!

[@TheThriftingTherapist]

You're making me think of the Emerson quote "people seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of their character." What we judge in others is so much about our own psyche!

[@Alexas.nobuyyear]

Wow thank you for sharing, I hadn't heard this before, and that is extremely apt!

[@pompom8030]

You are not your thoughts. What shows is how you interact with your thoughts and if you act on them. Love the input ❤ Thanks, and lovely Intro/Outro 🎉

[@rachael5025]

this is such a good point. i am buying into a fantasy with the clothing items i pick up but there is no outfit without me. im going to use this thank you!

[@harpy5629]

So much of what I've thought is incredible fashion and people looking so put together was really just people being thin and having clear skin and sleek hair. It broke so many illusions when the internet told me that.

[@Avi2Nyan]

Great message, I wholeheartedly agree! And I love love love the viola bits in these videos

[@bthomson]

Interesting how some of the long held ideas that I did not question are being put to the test. This channel really does cause deep thinking and trying to get at the truth. I am learning a lot!

[@JehanineMelmoth]

My very abusive parents were always smartly dressed and I think that’s why I like everything secondhand and slightly scruffy. There are scruffy things I’d never wear - some of which are very fashionable now - but I’m still drawn to the amiable, less damaging, more forgiving nature of secondhand clothing. And it means I never see it on models or celebrities.

[@bthomson]

Love the word " amiable" to describe clothing!😉

[@JehanineMelmoth]

@ ha!

[@bthomson]

The way we look outside is surface. If everyone accepted that life would be pretty different! How we behave, especially if no one else is watching, is key! Unfortunately many people are very damaged! Either fearful or mentally unstable. Greed, envy, rage, inhumanity of every sort! These can be dressed to the nines! The most expensive latest styles! The person underneath is ALWAYS what counts!

[@LTeeeeeeeee]

I love "Fairy Tale of New York" :D lovely to hear it in your video!! Also I love and really appreciate the sentiment of this video so thank you for that. I've been working through a chunk of your most recent videos and am feeling more and more inspired for my own no/low-buy plan next year!

[@Alexas.nobuyyear]

Woohoo! I'll be no-buying next year too (and doing better than I did this year, hopefully!) so I'll be here for you!

[@alicetrieu7733]

Good description - style that matches your essence. I have many items I bought that took me a few years to have it match my essence.

[@yalazha]

What a lovely song! I haven’t heard this one before. Another great discussion! My own fairytale of new clothes is more of me being a magpie, and liking new, pretty things, which goes beyond clothing. I think focusing on using and appreciating my current clothes was necessary for expanding my mindset beyond the initial fascination. Also considering the wastefulness of disposing my perfectly fine possessions for newer versions is unsustainable for my wallet and the environment. And finally, more recently I’ve thought that the time I’ve spent shopping and deliberating over purchases is not that important compared to more pressing matters in my personal life, and that’s given me the peace to care less about which style of sneaker I should get, and pass on Christmas decor I didn’t need.

[@SherryAnnOfTheWest]

Oh man ... "Fairytale of New York" is my FAVORITE Christmas song ... watch the official video, it's really great. Thanks for addressing this issue --- I just KNOW that a new outfit will make me happier/slimmer/cooler/popular/whatever ---- I've wasted so much money on clothing and am drowning in it. Funny thing too ... I have so much I have a hard time finding things to wear. If I'm looking for a particular outfit it's hard to find.

[@Alexas.nobuyyear]

Haha I've definitely listened to that official video numerous times in order to make my cover! 😆 And yes I know the feeling of having a hard time finding the piece I'm looking for in my closet/dresser - it's getting better this year but I still have a ways to go!

[@estherurwin3487]

It’s my favourite too. Mostly because it’s not completely saccharine. I love traditional Christmas carols, but most modern Christmas songs can make me a bit queasy. 😂

[@Marsolan]

You are the most important part of the outfit - is perfect!!❤❤

[@monpetson]

It's lovely to see you playing at the end of the videos 😃

[@kat_thefruitbat]

Carols of wisdom indeed!! And thank you for the beautiful ending!! 🤗❤

[@gytitgirl7336]

Love the music! You're so talented. 😊 I often get asked for wardrobe, makeup and hairstyling advice by friends and strangers, even when I don't feel that I like how I look. A lady approached me in the mall to compliment me and asked which styling products I use for my naturally styled hair. She got so angry when I told her I was wearing a wig. 😂 The most neutral and helpful wardrobe advice I have come up with is, "Wear quality foundation garments." 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@cynthiahunter6588]

I so appreciate theental work you have done so that I can consider the truths you present

[@Alexas.nobuyyear]

Thank you!

[@annaisapalindrome]

About buying the fantasy instead of the clothes, I just watched a video from Adeline Loke who said she likes to crop the heads off to judge if she really likes the outfit or not!

[@Alexas.nobuyyear]

I think that's a great start! But for me, there's still the rest of the person/body type to consider, and even the posture (how confidently they're carrying themselves, etc) that can still be conveyed on a headless model 😅 even an artificial mannequin doesn't adequately give a picture of what it could look like for the person actually buying/wearing the clothes!

[@Horsefaire]

Luved this!

[@Kristyn.roberts13]

Thank you!💜

[@Marsolan]

I am 10 min in but I have to say…In everyday life we see people presenting themselves in a various way (usually nothing outrageous) and the tendency for me IS to have an opinion (to judge). I work very hard to tell myself NO I do not want to judge. And I notice that after stopping myself many times I judge less and I also feel lighter and happier then I do not. Same goes for self judgment. Excellent wisdom. Thank you❤❤❤❤

[@Alexas.nobuyyear]

Yes! I know some people are probably trying to dress to present a certain image, intentionally, but in my opinion the image that can be conveyed by "stuff" is never going to be true to the image someone is trying to show anyway, no matter how carefully they curate their outfit.

[@Marsolan]

@@Alexas.nobuyyearah, interesting point!

[@bthomson]

How does a viola sometimes sound like a bagpipe?

[@Alexas.nobuyyear]

magic 😄 or practice...and, violas are shapeshifters! a middle voice that can imitate a violin or a cello, and sometimes other instruments!

[@hillaryberg6771]

I think there is a freedom to not giving energy to thinking about your appearance.

[@Alexas.nobuyyear]

For sure!

[@bthomson]

I've always thought that designers were many times gay guys ( nothing wrong with that!) who want women to look like young beautiful MEN! There IS something wrong with THAT in my opinion!

[@Avi2Nyan]

That's a hell of a take. Why do think that?

[@bthomson]

Have you looked at runway models? They almost all look so tall and thin! Most women are not that shape.

[@Avi2Nyan]

@@bthomson sure, but neither are men! So idk what you're talking about

[@bbappzz98]

Such a bad take. Loads of women don’t even wear dresses or skirts and wear baggy fits. Whatever you think a woman ‘should’ dress like means nothing to other people.

[@TheThriftingTherapist]

Actually, a beautiful, kind old man in San Francisco shared this theory with me 20 yrs ago, and it gave me a lot of food for thought...