The Fear of Starting a New Treatment-Our Therapists Said the Same Thing-Caregiver-Stage IV Cancer

P.O. Box
Jenny or Kyle Appleford
7211 Haven Ave, Unit E-407
Rancho Cucamonga, CA 91701
[e-mail]
My wife’s channel:
/ @jennyapple4704
INSTAGRAM: jenny_appleford
INSTAGRAM: kyoooooapple
FACEBOOK: Our Brave Jenny
For business inquiries: [e-mail]
DIAGNOSIS of my Wife:
March 19th, 2021 Stage IIIA Non Small Cell Lung Cancer (Non-Smoking)
February 2022 Stage IV Non Small Cell Lung Cancer (spreading to Brain, and other parts of lung and lymph nodes)
Gene Mutation EGFR with Exon 20 Insertion
TREATMENTS: Received or currently Receiving
2021: 8 Rounds of Chemotherapy (Carboplatin and Paclitaxel) with 30 concurrent radiation treatments to chest and lung
Failed Immunotherapy directly after Chemo and Radiation (Durvalumab, 1 round)
2022: Chemotherapy
10 rounds of Chemotherapy (Carboplatin, Alimta, and Avastin)
6 with Carboplatin, 4 without
Targeted Brain Radiation (Completed)
CURRENT TREATMENT:
I am on a clinical trial for my specific gene mutation
Our GoFundMe Link:
gofund.me/5edf81e5

[@deelief5339]

Kyle, I DK if you'll read my comment, but I just wanted to share...my husband had a brain tumor that spread throughout his body. We did surgery, brain radiation, immunotherapy, etc. I watched him suffer as we hoped for "this" treatment being the one to help him and at the same time being afraid it would do more harm. Know this, you and Jenny will know when enough is enough. Until then live in the moment. Say everything you need /want to say. Take lots of pictures. Love each other without abandon and hold onto the Lord with all your might. You're doing great. I'm so impressed with you. You're an amazing man. Donna

[@chrissyfoley7361]

@deelief5339 I agree. ❤️ This has to be so difficult but you have lived it. I hope Kyle sees this. Much love to you and your family Kyle.

[@deboraholsen8443]

That was great

[@amyberg1413]

Very well said!

[@karendornan7447]

Wonderful advice. Follow your heart and of course your head...you will know when it's "enough". You're both so in-tune with each other, you'll both know. So many couples can pull themselves apart and away from each other going through this horrible battle. I've experienced what you've experienced but I have had lots of quite serious traumas throughout my life and at the top of my thinking process has always been "no regrets". Even though it's taking an awful toll on you physically and mentally, to look back over your life with Jenny, it will eventually bring you some comfort, that you both did what you had to do so you would have no regrets. It's a tragedy that your beautiful wife is being taken from you and your beautiful children are losing their adoring mother but I've never heard of a family who've worked together, pulled each other through and loved each other so much, all with such humility. You're doing everything perfectly, you are all an inspiration. Much love from Northern Ireland. ❤

[@karendornan7447]

Ps I should have written I've NOT experienced what you're experiencing. Xx

[@patriot4life262]

Kyle, my brother had cancer, I saw all of the pressure he was enduring from family to fight…..I visited him one night and held his hand and said “ IT IS OK TO NOT WANT TO CONTINUE TREATMENT” …….he THANKED ME as he cried with relief…and we cried very hard and hugged each other. Soon after he was released to hospice and he came home to peacefully visit with us and to pass on his terms. I miss him terribly, but he had a hand in his decisions. Please tell Jenny she is in charge, and whatever she decides, you all will respect her choices. Thank you for sharing this journey. Your family is beautiful, Jenny is beautiful.❤

[@kathleengould6223]

Agree , this is from a survivor but I myself would rather quality before my passing than the constant sickness. God bless you both during this time

[@stitchinglulu213]

Same as my sister-in-law. She was ready to ‘let go’ and we cheered her. It’s what she needed. We just had to listen to what she wanted to do.

[@danakennedy5072]

💯. I feel guilty still for encouraging my mother to continue treatment. I did it selfishly for me, I didn't want to lose her. I would do it differently now if I had a do over.

[@bettynesbitt4503]

You are such a special individual, don't know how you have stayed so strong for so long, the same applies to dear Jenny, I think listening to each other is so important and at such time as she decides you will have to listen to Jenny and her wishes when she has had enough.

[@deborah_3474]

Jenny and you have walked through this journey with extraordinary grace. It truly is, in the end, Jenny’s choice which path she chooses to take. You have a beautiful family filled with so much love and support and Jenny feels that every day and I’m sure that gives her comfort. And yes, you can only concentrate on what is in your control and take everything else a day at a time. You are a wonderful caregiver and your love and courage and determination is quite amazing to see. Praying for your family to find peace. ❤️

[@mariasullivan577]

When my daughter said she’d had enough of treatment for her brain cancer … we had to support her decision … she spent the next 10 months living her best life … then surrounded by love she closed her eyes and went to sleep at 22 forever … on her terms … miss her every day … nearly 10 years now 💔

[@cindygaudet1390]

Hugs❤❤

[@lr9152]

I also lost my daughter at 39 years young less than 2 years ago. I feel your pain and I'm so sorry. 😢

[@JB25956]

God bless you

[@deboramccallum3987]

Love to you and hold her always in your ❤️

[@AC-gp7kf]

❤️

[@danib40]

Kyle, I am a nurse and have seen plenty over my 30+ years of nursing. I believe in being direct with my patients while still being compassionate. Kyle, Jenny is dying. Everything you are doing to prolong her life may be causing more harm than good. Before making any definite decisions though, look at Jenny’s quality of life. How much can she do for herself without you? If the answer is mot much, the end is near. I humbly implore you to start hospice. They can help in so many ways. They can keep her comfortable, give you a chance to breath and the kids a chance to grieve. This is exactly what everyone is going through. You need help Kyle, please accept it. I look forward to your videos. You are the best husband Jenny could have. Spend the time left doing happy things, even if it talking about memories. I cry easy so I need to end it here but I do pray for you and your family. 😢

[@atk_1]

I think this comment is 100 on target. Unfortunately they can’t accept it. I hope that Jenny stops treatment so she can live not just survive the treatments.

[@PBottomPoochies]

A very old and dear friend of mine had a husband who was diagnosed with lymphoma at age 46. Also too young to get cancer. At the time, and at his most difficult point in his cancer, a new drug had JUST come out that was specific to treat his cancer and it was in clinical trials. At diagnosis his prognosis was grim, but he wanted to stay positive with the belief he was gonna kick it. They tried over and over again to get into the clinical trial, but somehow he was always too ill to be allowed into the trial. His wife, my friend, had to keep up appearances that she believed he could kick it too. I asked her after he passed if they could ever mourn his cancer and impending death together and she said no, they never did bc the appearance of strength and survival was what he wanted and needed from her. I felt that was kinda sad bc there wasn’t closure. But at the same time, do any of us want to die? Don’t we all want to live and find ourselves living and feeling better and going back to doing wonderful things? You can’t blame people for wanting to continue, for wanting to stay with their families as long as they can. It is definitely a difficult difficult spot to be in. Leif passed after a two year battle with lymphoma, his wife dutifully by his side taking him to treatment and filling him with as much good nourishment as possible. Lots of friends and family stepping up. I’m sure the experience was the hardest she ever went through, but it also is certainly a testament of the human spirit and the ability of “the village” to come together. There’s not much good about cancer, but do what you can to enjoy the little things.

[@phrababushkath2350]

FINALLY someone says the truth: Jenny is DYING. Pushing for new treatments which give her limited or even no additional time along with further suffering is taking away the invaluable time you both should be spending time with your kids - not allowing them to be raised by Ash and Brad while you both chase after one chimera after another...

[@atk_1]

@@phrababushkath2350exactly the kids aren’t even spending time with their mother and if they do she’s zonked out.

[@Mar11932]

Also, these trials are not actually treatment, they are what they say, trials. New treatments that are being tested on patients to examine their effectiveness. The only people who really gain from these trials are pharma companies. In the UK, we have alot more regulations and controls on which patients can be part of cancer trials. And patients in palliative care are very rarely involved. Due in the most part to quality of life.

[@celebrantsue5910]

As an ex palliative care nurse, I can only comment on my experience. I think the time has come to stop treatment and give Jenny some quality time without all the pain, suffering and side effects of ongoing treatment. You are both suffering. Make the most of the time you have left and make some beautiful memories with your beautiful family. Xx

[@Frideswide1]

Only they can decide when it is time to stop treatment-People can think what they think, but some folks do best when actively engaged in trying. Honor their decisions-it’s only fair that they make their own choices.

[@Bombabingbong66]

Jenny has to make that decision nobody else. Miracles can happen.

[@TheTuesday11]

@@Frideswide1you are so right. They will know when they are tired of fighting. They may stop today or they may be fighting until the last breath. Everyone’s bottom line is different. Telling them to stop (when the doctors and they want to try new treatments ) should have no place in the comments. None of us know what’s going on except what they share. This is a very personal decision, our job is to support them, listen to them, encourage them, stand with them etc. Thank you for your comment

[@Bombabingbong66]

Kyle, Jenny and you have fought everyday for her recovery since the very start. My Dad had lung cancer. He was offered a hi dose of radiotherapy even though he was terminal. At the oncologists office it was the only option left. My Dad didn't know what to do. So my Mum and sister both said, " don't do it, you will only feel sicker." When he asked me I said " Well Daddy, if you were in a war in the trenches, last man knowing the enemy is upon you, do you lay down and die or do you throw every last grenade and bullet you have left?" He said to the Dr. " I ll take the treatment " Everything on this journey from day 1 has been horrific. You hv battled with such courage, all of you. Ptsd is real. Jenny has to make those terrible choices but she is a born Fighter, a Warrior. I send you all my deepest Love. One day at a time, don't look any further than that, deal with the day because for any of us it might be our last. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@ingridsywak8572]

​@@TheTuesday11Kyle asked for advice, and she gave hers. Nothing wrong with her comment. I agree with her. My mum died of cancer so if I see Jenny....

[@kristaldriver]

Kyle I am An RN who use to work hospice and I was also a caregiver for 2 years with my father walking through cancer. Let me say this These period that you and Jenny are going through is the process to give you more time. This is your living time. Each treatment option is an OPTION to try to extend your time. Also…as a caregiver…I let my father dictate his care and treatment choices. He didn’t tolerate any treatments nearly as long as Jenny. He took two chemo through IV infusions and did some pills and then decided to just stop everything. Let Jenny decide her path. All you can do is support her decisions. Just know This isn’t curative It’s about longevity and fighting for time. You and her will know when and if it’s time to stop seeking treatments. Until then Everything and anything you feel is completely normal. Be gentle on yourself Kyle. You and Jenny are both doing astronomically amazing. Hugs

[@cerorchid]

Great advice!

[@chronos401]

No one should ever be afraid of dying. True Believers know to focus on accomplishing what's required for the afterlife while here. Nonbelievers think we only become worm food. Did God or the worms say go down the poison and mutilation route? No! The evil med/pharm industrial complex turned cancer into an enormous cash cow by taking advantage of people's fear of dying. One of the jobs of the immune system is to locate and eliminate precancerous and cancerous cells 24/7. Cancer only appears when this becomes dysfunctional or overwhelmed. If we had competent and moral white coats, they would analyze and correct what's happening. We don't. The entire complex is driven by profits not positive outcomes.

[@dawndemet3331]

I’m 12 year living with Stage 4. I’m exhausted. I never looked at it like this, it’s time giving, but not curative. 😢

[@cerorchid]

@@dawndemet3331 I'm sorry. 😥

[@dlfaith]

@@dawndemet3331❤

[@paulo7200]

Hospice or California End of Life Option. My mom with stage 4 lung cancer did 1 year of "treatments" including the so-called miracle immunotherapy (hers extended statistical life expectancy by 3 weeks and cost $350,000). The "miracle" immunotherapy nearly killed her as well. After that she marched into the oncologist's office and cancelled all future "infusions" and signed up for hospice as the End of Life option was not fully set up at that time. My sense is that the majority of these oncologists and nurses, if faced with their own terminal cancer DX, would spend the remainder of their lives in the South of France with an end of life cocktail in a backpack, and would skip all of the treatments they administer to their patients.

[@ruthgirl]

It was a super sad day when my 33 year old son told me he was done fighting and wanted hospice. He still had some options but he was so exhausted and his life was nothing but dialysis. I cried and cried but in the end it was his body , life and existence and he had the right to choose his own path. Sometimes they fight on, even when they don't want to do so, just because they don't want to let their loved ones down. I realize now that he wasn't letting me down, as a mother I always wanted the best for him and in the end the best was not for him to suffer any longer. It is a hard decision, a difficilt place to be but part of loving someone in this world. My prayers are with you all.

[@g.w.hampton5525]

Nodding... "Sometimes they fight on, even when they don't want to do so, just because they don't want to let their loved ones down"... this so true. My heart is sad for the loss of your son and having to go through that letting go process.. I've lost my younger sister to ovarian cancer and my beautiful 21-year-old grandson to a horrendous cancer.. I remember thinking after my sister died that I would have kept her with us forever but not one second longer than we had because it was the end. I don't know if I'll ever get over losing my grandson though..

[@genevamoore4529]

@@g.w.hampton5525 I'm so sorry for your loss, I lost my brother to cancer last year and I've been watching videos just to see what they go through it's so horrible that you feel the need to hurt with so much pain not only from your body but also your mind it's breaks my heart knowing our young people go through this stuff is awful. God bless you and yours.

[@Rnjeepshoelver]

Kyle , can I just say you set the bar incredibly high for being a loving husband . Jenny looks and is so more frail than when she started , the effects from all the prior treatments are cumulative . Sadly, as an oncology RN , I have seen this scenario , more times than I wish to remember . It is especially sad when it involves a patient with young children , they want to try everything to extend their time with their kids ( understandably so ) . Jenny is so anxious now , and she will know and you will too to say ‘no more treatments’ . If Jenny had home hospice it would take some pressure off of you , no more appointments , or ER visits , instead of having your kids looked after , you could all be together , making memories , putting up a Christmas tree early , etc . Of course you two have to come to the decision. Unfortunately from what my years in oncology have taught me is that with metastatic disease like Jenny’s , treatment is exchanging quality for quantity at this point . Memories of being together in your home , enjoying family and friends , without any appointments to me with hospice involvement would make the most sense , but you and Jenny have to make that decision . I just love you two and my heart breaks for your beautiful family . Love and prayers ❤️💕

[@karendougherty1050]

I agree. Hospice would be so helpful & natural & and nurturing ...

[@nancychamberlin6520]

This is the best advise I’ve seen on this blog. I’m glad you had the courage to say what I’ve been thinking. We all know what the eventuality is. As a 10 year cancer survivor i still have fears of what if it metastasis. Will i pursue further treatment probably not. I am 74 years old so I’m in a different place than Jenny but she has been through so much i see her steady decline and just wish she would stop and enjoy what time she has left. Kyle is the most amazing human being my heart breaks for him. He really is in a no win situation and he will be the one who has to carry on.

[@bocskailucia159]

This is the most truthful and delicate way to say what I wanted to comment too !!!

[@vickimarlene4905]

I so agree with you. Jenny looks so frail from all the treatments. She’s exhausted and so is Kyle. My heart breaks for them.

[@vickimarlene4905]

Hi Kyle. I’m understanding how you’re both thinking and feeling. My mum was given six months to live from diagnosis. They operated and that saved her life at the time. They put her on chemo. She got so sick she lost so much quality. I sat down with her and said, mum, if you don’t want to do chemo then don’t. She at least had another few months of quality. When you know you’ll know. ❤❤❤❤ we so love you all and feel for you.

[@TRUTHisTRUTH70]

As a former oncology and then a hospice nurse, if you haven't yet enrolled with a Palliative Care team, I would highly, highly recommend this. Palliative Care is different from hospice as you can still be receiving treatment for the cancer, and the palliative care team provides lots of additional support (pain management, therapy, symptom management, etc.). Real talk here... at some point Jenny will have to decide whether she wants quality of life versus quantity. Much of what is happening now is likely due to her disease progression, and that sucks. I know accepting the inevitable is something no one wants to think about, especially when you're young. I understand both your fears about what the end of life and dying process will look like, and this is also something palliative care professionals can help with. It is so hard to be the caregiver as you can't make anything better for the person going through treatment and pain. Often, the oncology professionals shy away from being as honest as they could be, and this leaves patients and families in limbo. You all are always in my thoughts and I grieve for your suffering. xoxo

[@krisbarge833]

Could I ask you a question? My mom is exactly what you stated......in limbo. My mom was diagnosed in Dec. 2022 with pancreatic cancer. She had 3 months of Chemo, then the Whipple procedure to remove the mass, and the started chemo again. This last round of chemo she had maybe two sessions and she went in and her counts were off so they canceled the chemo. Then her surgical wound got infected and is not 100% healed yet, so again, no chemo. She fought hard but she's tired, very weak and is now pretty much giving up. My parents have no money so my dad mostly takes care of her (we help where we can too). This past week she's started to pretty much stay in bed. The other night my dad had to call my brother......my dad couldn't get her up the stairs. It took them about 12 minutes to get her up. She told me she doesn't think she wants to continue with chemo but is not 100% yet. I told her we would support her with whatever she decides. Her surgery wasn't 100% successful.....he got the mass out but there were cancer cells in some lymph nodes that were close to a main artery so he didn't want to chance her dying on the table. We don't know where any of the cancer cells are at in her body right now. She hasn't had any scans after surgery and they never gave her a "stage" with her cancer. I think hers was caught fairly early. I guess my question is if she decides to quit chemo who do we tell? She has a visiting nurse that comes in once a week and I think she reports to her GP. Would we ask the oncology doctors about Palliative care and would they help us with that? We just don't know what to do anymore. With my parents not having money they can't hire help to come in. They almost lost their home when my mom got sick......she took care of all the finances and wasn't paying the taxes....not sure why. She has a bit of dementia too......that's a whole other story. This ahs been an absolute nightmare. My brother and I are basically parenting our parents. I would greatly appreciate any suggestions. It's awful to watch your loved ones suffer. I can feel Kyle's pain. Truly heartbreaking. Thank you.

[@TRUTHisTRUTH70]

@@krisbarge833 yes, either the oncologist or GP can order palliative care or hospice. Would call now to get all the assistance you can.

[@kelleyC123]

So sorry for your pain as well 🙏🏼🩷

[@suew4609]

@@krisbarge833I’m sorry you and your family are going through this. Are your parents on Medicare? Is there anything that they could do for them? Maybe palliative care? I hope she answers you, as I don’t know all the answers, but my parents were sick at the end, and my mother had dementia. They had money, though. Long-term care is so ridiculously expensive, that we did not buy it and neither did my parents. At the end they were spending $10,000 a month for two different assisted care places they were living in. I fear what will happen to my husband and me, as we don’t have that insurance or that kind of money. You may have to be down to the end of your money before other resources kick in. Sending prayers🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻

[@CarmelSmythe]

Oncologists don't know anything about healing cancer. All their so-called "therapies" only increase disease, lower a patient's quality of life and hasten death. In my opinion, this is tantamount to murder.

[@susanf7067]

I really think there comes a time with this that quality is going to have to outweigh quantity. I think realistically you both know these aren’t going to be cures. Yes it’s nice to buy some time, but at what cost? It’s not going to be quality as the disease process progresses. It will be quality if she comes to terms with the inevitable and focus on quality with the time left with family and friends. Anxiety and studies are consuming and exhausting. This would be a great time to bring hospice in to guide you both. Hospice does not mean it’s the end. This is exactly what they specialize in.

[@charlottelucero4900]

I was diagnosed July 2022, with stage 4 metastatic lobular breast cancer, I agreed to follow the treatment as prescribed by my oncologist - I also stated that I did not want to chase the rainbow when the treatment no longer worked. After 15 months of extreme fatigue, a fatigue that is hard to describe, along with nausea, constipation, diarrhea, etc.,: I decided to advocate for myself - I’ve decided to go off the chemotherapy - after 16 days off the Chemotherapy, I began to feel better - my personal goal is quality of life versus longevity. From a patient’s perspective, take lots of pictures, enjoy meals together, talk about the wonderful memories, no matter the age of our family members, ask each one about what they think and feel about what cancer means to them. We need to not be afraid to talk about the chronic condition of cancer as a patient or our loved ones who support us - talk, cry, laugh, play, feel 💞🦋💞

[@dyanwillis1347]

i have had basically the same stage 4 diagnosis since june 2019, i’m fighting this disease with the same adverse side affects as you described. did your dr prescribe pain killers? I found that these 4-5 hours a day helped make the harsh medications bearable…just a suggestion, it’s certainly not an easy battle…

[@mollyhoisington7230]

How are you now? ❤. Loves from Oregon Sweetheart xo

[@suehibbett]

"You can only do what you can do!" That is the best advice I've ever heard. I have chronic pain. Some days I can walk without too much pain. But there are days I hurt. Just making dinner for myself seems overwhelming. Taking my medicine seems like a hard task. On those days, I give myself permission to do only what I can. Kyle and Jenny, "You can only do what you can do!" Stop pushing the river! Float, sleep, rest. Let go of the guilt of "not doing enough." If brushing your teeth and getting dressed is all you are up for, honor yourself for what you accomplished. Prayers and blessings sent to you and your family.

[@BethaneyLilly]

“Stop pushing the River! Float…” What a great saying, can be applied to so much. ❤

[@CGH250]

I have exactly the same situation. I’m about to turn 74. My 2 sons never come to my house so I’m alone 24/7 in chronic, all over pain. I use a cane to walk so I won’t fall over. Life can be so hard sometimes. I pray for Kyle and Jenny. ❤️🙏✝️

[@edithwentz2595]

Its only an Idea, what about to letall the medical Trailer, take some Alternative medicine and enjoy your life. You said every triel is damaging something and not given the hope of more lifetime. I beliefe, that peoples are dying more Quickie with all the chemo and medical Trials than without

[@edithwentz2595]

Sorry english is not my mother tongue

[@Rebecca-1111]

The spoon theory. That's what I do as well. Only get so many spoons per day and some days you have less spoons, use your spoons wisely.

[@charlenefeiss1579]

As a former Hospice nurse, I would strongly recommend their services when she’s ready to end the treatments. They focus on quality of life, pain-free living, care of the family members and, of course, specialized care for the patient.

[@user-hx3uk2fe5e]

You're a pysco Kyle, you have been blinded by youtube and go fund me $$$$$ you havent mentioned your new luxury car

[@marybalantic2683]

I’m a retired Hospice RN. I was honored to assist patients, caregivers and loved ones with symptom management and especially teaching of disease processes. My favorite job ever. Take care of yourself too, Kyle.

[@user-hx3uk2fe5e]

@@marybalantic2683 shut your mouth

[@hownwen]

She can go on hospice now and take advantage of the incredible services. They really know more of how to keep someone comfortable which in turn they live longer💙💙💙

[@carolyncook3611]

Exactly. She should be in hospice with her family spending quality time with her. Allow her to die with dignity and in peace. Time to get off social media.

[@heathersiegler6837]

Kyle I wish I could write you a letter about everything you just said. I lived it for 7 years while I was a caregiver to my husband. Before you mentioned the word PTSD I was already feeling mine come up. It is PTSD. Trauma from the day to day anxiety and fears and all the things you don't say out loud because you fear it will make it worse. My husband, like Jenny was a warrior. He took on every treatment, clinical trial they offered. Even the fear when testing to see if he could take place in a trial or be ruled out. Yes hopeful but always combined with fear and anxiety about our future. Our team told us at some point during this it would be likely one of the treatments could take his life as his body became weaker. Instead his body just couldn't take anymore. I remember the day like it was yesterday. His body just said enough. He was too exhausted to go in for a check up. I called his doctor and explained what he was going through and his doctor lovingly told us it was time for hospice. He was gone within 2 weeks from that day. His body was tired. The only thing that made it remotely ok was that myself and my children and my husband said everything there was to say. Nothing was left unsaid. I have PTSD. I will always have it. There is nothing easy about the path you are walking and I promise I understand you. I see it in your eyes. Each day we had was a gift. Each day I was able to have him next to me in bed was a gift. That's how we handled it. We talked about each choice HE made. He made all of his decisions and my job was to support him, advocate for him, be an ear, a hug. We cried many many tears. He did everything he could until his body said no. Then you accept it but nothing about it is easy. I have no great advice for you. I just want to validate yours and Jenny's feelings and let you know they are normal. Life will never be the same but we loved and we loved fiercely. Just like you and Jenny. I'm so very sorry you have to travel this path. Nothing is fair about it. Never will be. Just love each other fiercely as long as you have. Cherish everything about her. Much love. Heather (Sorry I wrote the letter anyway it just pours from my soul)

[@margenek]

7 years… how did you get through 7 years? My husband was diagnosed 5 months ago with cancer. They found some in his rectum, lungs, liver, spine, and possible in his brain, which without a biopsy in his brain they don’t know for sure. MRI’s to watch brain growth. Now fluid on his lung and they are going to drain to see if any cancer floating around. The rectum and lung are two separate cancers, which has baffled the doctors. Another thing that has baffled them is he is in no pain and no shortness of breath. During each chemo infusion I watch 25 people at a time in the infusion unit and they are going and coming. They are adding 25 more chairs to the unit. My husband is 73 and cherishes his life. I watch this beautiful young couple and my heart breaks for them. So young. My question is…how did you do 7 years? Living in limbo is daunting. Being the caregiver. I know when put in hard situation one just does it, but right now I am having a very hard time coping. Did you ever go to therapy? I do know talking about it with people who have gone through the same madness helps. I am so sorry for your loss and your comment to this beautiful couple hit home for me. Just knowing you are not alone helps. ❤️

[@gaileldridge3585]

Jenny has the ultimate decision. But you have been there every step of the way to support and love her and to be her advocate. We pray for you both. A caregiver is the hardest job even if you love the person buoy care for more than life itself. Sounds like you both need to talk and see what she’s feeling in her heart and how she wants to proceed through these laser months of her live.

[@maryfurey3543]

❤ Kyle , You and jenny and your children are doing the best you can do It is so good that you have so much support your family. Her family, friends, school mates, et cetera, it all helps. At the end of the day, I guess you take stock of where you're at. Or Jenny takes stock of where she's at and then she decides and you decide. And you all decide with her together and help support her decision. Of course, you have PTSD. I don't have cancer but a lot of people in my family have gone throughbut we didn't have options like you have and I think with every option brings app the fear the anxiety the trauma how will she feel? How will she get through this? What can I do? ? And on top of all that you have life. Fear can be crippling for everyand there is no one correct answer as to how you deal with that That may be the hardest thing. Truthfully. I think you have a lot going for each other. Because you're very open and honest about what you should do, Most people I do not think have the ability to do that for whatever reasons. I have multiple medical conditions. All of which are pretty serious and and I try to remember as I pray every night for you and Jenny and other people and friends and family. That I am grateful that I've had another day. And I'm hoping that I can get another one. But we don't know. There are no definitive direct answers to our questions. And that is difficult. Fear of the unknown right? Everything that you are feeling and doing. I believe is normal or consistent with these types of situations. And we don't always get the answers we want. Because there are any there are opinions, statistics, facthanks whatever. But at the end of the day, we've had another day in our wives. And we're grateful for that and I know. You've said that many times and I know Jenny feels that way. Keep trying as best you cand to make laughter and fun times you're very good at that you probably need it too, but you do a great job with your surprises and your making things special and just being together and I think that's. The best answer I can say at this point what you're doand when either of you decide. Just not enough, then you'll have another plan. Life is forever changing, giving us questions. Experiences both good and bad. So I guess we make the most of all of it as best we can. Didn't mean to ramble on, but you're very thought. Provoking with your questions and the way you explain things. And you're very compassionate person. My hope is that you and Jenny continue to weather. The sunshine in life that you're gonna face together with your children. You have done a wonderful job so far. I know you think you should always be doing more but I think that's the caregiver essence. I should have done this. I should have done that now. You're doing what you cand I applaud you for that. I 100% validate you and Jenny. You eat your looking at this from different perspectives. And it all can get so complicated. Someti'm, I'm, i'm trying to make it simple as much as you can. I'll keep you in my heart and prayers. Hugs and love to you all as You continue your journey through this life.XO❤

[@lindarice8876]

OMGosh,so beautifully said ❤

[@Adilsatierf]

She has to live without treatment, and she Will live longer and happier,all this is too much on her body and mind, now she feels on a cloud and it's not fair.

[@patriciabaldwin4680]

Kyle, you are so wise for someone so young! I have been my husbands caretaker since 1998 when he was first diagnosed with colon cancer, then 4 years later, prostate cancer and now lung cancer. At least we were older and our children had just finished high school so for that I am so grateful. I watch you and Jenny and your precious babies as you navigate this almost unbearable journey and you all just do so with so much grace it really tugs at my heart. Some nights as I pray for you I become so emotional and begin to cry because I know how hard our journey has been. I believe we are near the end of our journey and our prayers are no longer “ please God let this treatment work” instead they are “ please don’t let him suffer if your plan does not include an earthly healing. Time has a way of showing you the truth and it becomes easier to accept, especially as you watch the love of your life struggle with no quality of life. I pray that Jenny gets her earthly healing and she gets to watch those beautiful children graduate from high school,then college and even as they marry, I pray she will be there for all that! Most of all I pray that you both are able to be there for all of life’s stages for each other, I believe in miracles and I believe in the two of you! Much love and prayers for y’all,♥🙏🏻♥

[@suzanneknepp849]

I agree with you 100%. Your wife needs to enjoy the time she has left with you, your children and others. You have fought the good fight, now think about your short-term goals. Involve the entire care team to weigh in. Stage 4 cancer is usually classified as an end-stage disease. I think you need to decide if you’re looking for a cure or having meaningful time for the rest of your life. Make sure your goal matches what your medical team can offer. I think your medical team will be honest about not curing her at this stage. I think their goal is to give your wife a little bit more time before the end comes. God bless you. Remember that God is in control and He has you and your family’s best interest at heart. May the Holy Spirit work in all of you and bring you peace.

[@pearlyone1]

I hate being someone that discourages battling a life-threatening disease. I'm a nurse and my past 40 years have taught me to 'support' 'encourage' and 'praise' the efforts of those going through painful cancer treatments. Jenny has had enough, and so have you. You have done everything humanly possible to give Jenny time, which it has. However, the time you've had has been absolutely brutal, not only for Jenny but for you and your extended families. Sooner or later, Jenny herself has to make the decision to end further attempts at extending her life for another few months and realize that it's just not worth it in the end. The day is close when you both have to face the reality that Jenny is going to die. Whether she wants to die in an inch-by-inch progression which is painful for both of you, or whether Jenny and yourself make that decision to end further treatment, keep the life you have left alive and productive by focusing on each other, not on going back and forth to the hospital, putting bandaids on the numerous side effects of nausea, anxiety, pain, exhaustion, etc. It's time to say, 'I'm not scared over what is inevitable'. Spend the time together, at home, with family. Keep Jenny comfortable and you, Kyle, need this phase to be accepted just as much as Jenny. You've both heard it from the oncology staff, 'quality over quantity'. It's time to focus solely on the quality of time remaining. God bless you and your extended families.

[@sadie4me2]

So let me get this right, you suggest she stop all treatment and just wait to die. I suggest you delete your comment immediately.

[@sadie4me2]

I hear you. Tell us what Jenny‘s life is on a day-to-day basis. Does she have any pleasure, enjoyment going on or does she spend every day laying down fighting pain? She lets us know that she suffers mentally from anxiety. What does that mean? She’s ready to stop all treatment? The reason I ask is because I fear that someone will suggest that she stop all treatment and Jenny, being of such a sensitive nature will read that and be adversely impacted by the comments like that, so please remove any comments that you think are harmful to her. Please

[@gonnacry96tears]

As a nurse with the same amount of experience, I must say that I agree. It’s heartbreaking but it’s the reality.

[@lisaockerman9940]

I think what you said is very important, I worked on a oncology floor, most people will know when to stop treatments, maybe palliative care should come on board to help ease the pain and anxiety.

[@lesliewilliams2495]

Been where you are with my 6 year old son who battled 18 months before passing away. Beware of the doctors calling clinical trials “options or treatments”. I can assure you they are brutal science experiments you sign up to do before you die anyway. I get that you don’t want to give up, neither did we and we didn’t either. But Jenny’s quality of life was SO much better before she started the experiments in the hopes of a miracle. I get it but think of the quality of time she needs to spend with the kids. It’s ok to STOP. Your situation is brutal and you have the right to STOP.

[@mrs.snuffleupagus5735]

As soon as she makes her peace with the inevitable of dying I think the anxiety will disappear. Acceptance is a beautiful thing at the end of life. As a hospice volunteer I know it’s a difficult process but getting into hospice can offer so much comfort and assistance. I wish you all an easy transition.

[@user-dm2mb9ln1h]

Kyle you and Jenny are amazing! You are a true example of love and respect! Just following you both has been so heartwarming and such a great example for others struggling with a chronic illness. God bless you and your whole family.❤

[@anni.7214]

I think making peace she has done that but its different living in the acceptance of it. I think she needs to try to forget that possibility all together! Carpe diem

[@nilda7823]

Seguiremos orando para que Dios les dé tranquilidad y se le quite esa ansiedad 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@bettyforan1061]

I am also a Hospice volunteer. Was just there today. It’s the closest place to Heaven you can be while on earth for both staff and patients. The atmosphere is actually one of hope not despair.

[@meganmck1473]

Beautifully said, it is a process...one step at a time; one day at a time...acceptance is a beautiful thing; the soul's journey with an open heart.

[@brendaenglish2477]

Jennie will know when she’s had enough. Just when she gets to that point, don’t push her to go further. You are in my prayers.

[@carolynwalker4850]

Amen!! Yes the person will know when they don't want to fight anymore. I am getting to that point also.End stage cancer pain is unbearable. Praying for this lovely family.

[@marionjones4414]

Kyle, my heart goes out to you and to your beautiful family. As a nurse who has supported so many through similar circumstances, I truly believe it is about the quality of life. Jenny is fighting so hard, but there comes a time when treatments become too much and her life becomes about the fight and it’s effects and not about spending time and energy with loved ones. Creating memories now together rather than suffering the effects of the treatment are far more important. Patients and their loved ones have said this to me and to my medical and nursing colleagues. Of course, you are scared and you are right that it is out of your hands but what isn’t, is quality time with Jenny and your adorable children and family and importantly God who will take care of you all. Jenny is very blessed having you on her side, you are truly one amazing husband. God bless and lots of love xx

[@janetdriscoll9277]

Amen! Only Jenni knows when treatment will stop and she will endure love with her family. Love you Jenny and God bless to you all.

[@GabbyGirl73]

Kyle, I lost my precious Dad to lung cancer many years ago. When he was first diagnosed he was terrified and had much anxiety. As time when on and he learned there was not much that could be done for him to survive, he was even more terrified. I kept telling him he could beat this because I loved him so much and wanted him to live and couldn't bear the thought of life without my sweet Dad. I cheered him on every day until one day he woke up, sat up on the side of the bed, looked at me and said, "Please let me go!" I was heartbroken, but I knew he now had no more fear or anxiety and had made piece with his diagnosis, so I had to honor his wish. He died two days later very peacefully after much suffering because his Stage IV lung cancer had spread to his brain and his bones, so he was in excruciating pain every day. I think Jenny will know when enough is enough. I've also worked in Oncology for over 25 years and most patients eventually reach this point, so have faith that one or both of you will know what to do as time marches on. I pray for Jenny every day that God will heal her so she can be with you and your children. You have an amazing family and it breaks my heart that Jenny is so ill. You're an amazing husband, father and caregiver so keep the faith. May God bless you and your family!

[@myrescuecats3028]

Heart breaking!💔😔🙏

[@jodyporter6086]

GabbyGirl73. I also lost my loving father to lung cancer. He fought for his life for much longer than he should have been alive by the doctors calculations. Before he was diagnosed with cancer he had promised my daughter that if she would wait until she came home from Germany he would be there. The whole family was in Germany and we had 8 months left on my husband’s commitment. I flew home as soon as he told us about his diagnosis. I was broken hearted because he was my person in life. We were very close and I wanted to be there for him. I can honestly say we said everything we wanted to, to each other. In the end he was too sick to come to my daughters wedding. We made arrangements for the Bible the pastor was holding for the ceremony to marry my daughter and son in law was a mic 🎤 wired into the phone lines. As the wedding took place my father was listening to it all on a speaker phone. He was there with us with a strong spirit. The wedding was what kept him going. He passed away 2 days later. The wedding was in Texas and my father was in Utah. When we got the phone call that he had the death rattle and didn’t have long to live I told him I was leaving right then to get to him. To everyone’s surprise he lived until I got there. As soon as he knew I was there he passed within 20 minutes. The glorious part is I was there holding his hand when it happened. I loved him so very much and I felt at peace because he was out of pain and everything was a pure miracle to my husband and I. It’s been 33 years since he died but I still think of him often for he left a lasting legacy.

[@GabbyGirl73]

@@jodyporter6086 My father has been gone 36 years on Oct. 1st. I, too, was there holding his hand when he drew his last breath and there was no where else I would have been. My Daddy was my person all my life. I had a wonderful mother and father, but I was his "little girl" and we had a wonderful relationship, so I completely understand what you are saying. I was also relieved when he passed, although saddened beyond words, but I knew he was out of pain and in a better place. There's not a day that I don't think of him and miss him dearly, but he is now with my beautiful mother who actually lived 26 years after he died and passed on his birthday! I was also in the ER with her holding her hand when she passed not believing she was going to die on his birthday. But one of the nurses there with me said, "Will this not be the best birthday present your daddy has ever received?" And she was right, I'm sure it was because he adored my mother!

[@GabbyGirl73]

@@myrescuecats3028 It was and I still miss him and my mother every day! He was a fine man and a wonderful husband and father. 💔

[@chronos401]

God gifted each of us a self-healing body. One of the functions of the immune system is to locate and eliminate precancerous and cancerous cells 24/7. What more do you expect Him to do? Rather than analyze and address what is causing a patient's immune system to become dysfunctional or overwhelmed, white coats in your field push poison and mutilation. If someone survives that, (s)he typically battles with life-long health problems. Whose side are you all really on? Suggest finding the real God before it's too late.

[@user-ed3wq6rh6m]

She is blessed to have you. I have stage 4 endometrial cancer and I was just on a trial..finished in June. I wish my husband was a fraction as supportive as you are. Stay blessed; will pray for you all.

[@michellerock3543]

Yes, Kyle is definitely one-of-a-kind. I’m praying for you 🌷

[@deathbychocolate584]

🙏❤️

[@sheilahill6415]

❤❤❤

[@conniestone6121]

Don't know you but thinking of you today. Many blessings come your way.

[@Veronica-tn2xc]

Hugs and best whishes for you. We are in the same journey 💙🙏

[@cathytabac7671]

What I am hearing is that you are seeking acceptance and peace on this journey, whatever the outcome. You are in a very healthy place in regard to processing all of your thoughts and emotions and you are right on point with staying in the moment and coming to accept what you cannot control. I feel honored that you have shared this journey with us.

[@lesleymimmack7296]

Kyle I am a retired nurse I know how hard it is aaw I don't know what to say next, Just take jenny home enough is enough let her be at home with her family no more treatment watch kids favorite programs get loadsa nice food and surround yourself s in love.sorry can't stop crying.What a beautiful lady she has been let down tragic .I hope I haven't made You feel worse I didn't mean to Lesley England 20:16

[@katodan0611]

This is terminal cancer in its reality and I applaud Kyle for being so candid. As so many of said, a time will come when either no more can be done or Jenny will decide her quality of life is not what she needs it to be for herself and her family. I pray for nothing but love and comfort for this lovely family. ❤

[@jobielifehappens7102]

Exactly what I wanted to say but couldn’t articulate. We love this folks.

[@cozmarine7771]

Strategy . HOME CARE. Palliative care. No more scans. No more appointments.

[@michelledungey158]

I agree totally and the situation is so sad

[@tltfaas]

I watched a dear friend suffer with a brain tumor. She had surgery twice and had an experimental product that was attached to her head and put out signals for the tumor not to grow. She wore it for 2 years. At times she also tried chemo and it nearly killed her. She and her husband came to the agreement was that she was suffering more than she was getting better. You have to be prepared to agree mutually that she has suffered enough. I love you guys.

[@lesleymimmack7296]

No more treatment at least you won't have all the hospital appointments just you and kids as a family that's the most important thing quality not quantity is what matters.JENNY has been so let down beautiful brave lady .Time to just spend as much time as you can without all this horrible hospital appointments go home cuddle and have quality time with your family lesley England

[@Dranma51]

She has been through so much but so have you, Kyle, and so have your kids! When someone you love is as sick as Jenny is it takes a physical and mental toll! You’ve been so supportive of Jenny and I can see that you love each other so much! Give yourself some credit and be proud of the life you’re giving your family! I’m praying for all of you! ❤️🙏

[@havecourageandbekind9605]

That was beautifully said. I agree❤

[@melindaharrington7588]

Me, too ☺ 👍

[@Kristen10-22]

Exactly 🙏🏻

[@andreadravarics799]

God bless you. Don’t worry everything is in His hands, we just don’t understand why things happen with us. I lost so many… but we will be together one day, and we just have to go through experiences, but when we will with God again, we understand everything. Until just keep going, and do the best.. ❤❤❤ God is with you in this difficult time, so don’t worry. Too much pain in this world, but one day everything will be ok. Huge-huge hug for all your family…

[@nickybaker1338]

🙏❤️‍🩹🙏

[@franreynolds2008]

Jenny is first and foremost a mom who doesn't want to leave her kids. I am amazed at what she has endured with this goal in mind. Your kids will be so proud of you when they look back at this time. Kyle you are pure gold, wish every sick person had a support like you. Sending hugs and strength to you both.

[@user-hx3uk2fe5e]

She is dying with hours to live, it's over, I think Good HOPE HOSPITAL is a disgrace in giving false hope

[@nonameshere1592]

Her hospital is City of Hope, not Good Hope. @@user-hx3uk2fe5e

[@catherinefulton5381]

@@user-hx3uk2fe5eI can’t believe that anyone could be that cruel to say that! You should be ashamed of yourself!

[@gabriellavercammen3071]

That is their choice to make. I know what you want to say. I went through it with my love. But in the end, Yenny must make that decision and have peace with it.

[@barbaraminto6709]

You are so awesome And Jenny is too. I respect and admire you both so much. Your kiddiewinks are unbelievable and so beautiful inside and out. Loads of ❤ from the Uk.

[@peterim1863]

I think the smartest advice here is to seek the help of a palliative/end-of-life specialist. One who can help you both, together, face to face; and one who is as sensitive, gentle and wise as you are Kyle. This village is an amazing support system but there is no substitute for in-person support.

[@laurie7117]

Kyle I’m sorry for your loss. 🌟 I really wanted to tell you how Proud I am of you . 🌟 You did a wonderful job throughout Jenny’s an your journey. ✨ You are such a blessing man. Wonderful husband, wonderful father, wonderful friend. ✨ I know that your heart is broken but just remember that your beautiful , loving perfect wife didn’t loose her life to cancer , the cancer died . ✨ Jenny will Always be watching over you and your babies. ✨ She will always be smiling and she will always be so proud of you for taking amazing care of her and being a great father to her and your babies. ⭐️ Kyle I think your a strong man and you and your kids will always remember Jenny and how much love you all have for her. ✨ I feel like the love you all have and showed to your babies is a very special strong bond together. ✨ Kyle please take some time for yourself and rest , and thanks again for the Amazing love you have for Jenny and your family. 🌟 You have done a wonderful job taking care of your wife. Jenny will always Shine ✨ over everyone !✨✨✨✨

[@megan2478]

My husband died in March from NH Lymphoma...even in January when his dr said that he didn't think anymore treatments would prolong his life, we still said 'keep fighting'... and they gave him a 'light medicine' that was a trial to hopefully help...but nothing heavy since his body was so weakened by the cancer... but the last couple months i watched him continue to suffer... In and out of the hospital over the last month before he died cause i realized he was going septic...and he withered away in front of me...and i knew the cancer was winning when his cancer tumors started showing on his skin...but i didn't want to acknowledge it out loud. I think he was fighting on for me, because he felt so guilty leaving me alone, a young widow. And i kept fighting on for him cause i thought addressing the 'elephant in the room' meant i was giving up on him. And when you continue to fight, it gives your mind a distraction from what waits behind that dark curtain. I tell people if my love and determination could keep him alive, he wouldn't have died. Ever. But in the end it wasn't up to me. Alot of the 'fight on' comes from fear...fear of how it feels so final when our loved ones are gone. But the reality is, no matter how much we fight on, the final answer is not decided by us. When you both get to a point that you make peace with the 'fear of'...the decision on how to proceed will come quickly. You just continue appreciating those moments and when you know, you know. *hugs*

[@Plootyhooter]

A hug for Meg from Australia❤ 😢

[@judgejenny2251]

I am sorry for your loss. You sound like a wonderful spouse.❤

[@BeverleyMiller_]

Absolutely wise & loving advice Megan... Thank you so much for your support of this truly amazing young couple🥰

[@jw3842]

You said it the way I wish I could. Such good advice. I am sorry for your loss.

[@sitwithus842]

This was just so beautifully said. Thank you and I am so sorry for your loss.

[@margeestes253]

Ultimately it's Jenny's decision of when enough is enough. You are so supportive, but when my husband was going through treatments I had to tell him it was okay to stop if that's where he was at. He hung on longer than most with pancreatic cancer and went into hospice care on Tuesday and died Thursday. Now, I wish I had told him that earlier. My love and prayers are with you all.And there are no "right" answers.

[@patdaniell5528]

I believe this story is what Kyle was asking about. Don't want to do how to do if have to do feel and think. Hear from others yes what ever jenny wants is OK for everyone in the family xx take care Kyle

[@conniewright1113]

My mom was bedridden for 10 years. We feed, bathed her each day. As a child, watching her suffer has affected me all these years. I am 60 years old and it still breaks my heart when I watch others suffer. It is ok to let someone go so they do not suffer no more.

[@glitterbomb7764]

Dying with dignity is the greatest gift she could give her children. This is so traumatizing for them.

[@TheDowntown02]

My feelings on this is all the time lost during treatments that could be spent at home with the four of you enjoying and embracing her last moments. I am a hospice nurse and I can tell you without doing an in person assessment that she appears hospice ready. You won’t regret it.

[@heidi1651]

❤ I was just thinking the same and the fullness and peace in that vs running w a list of next treatments even though I understand what that’s about and feel so much for the difficult place they’re in.

[@DOA-321]

I applaud your courage for stating an opinion that would generally be met with outrage and acrimony by the wealth of those here still holding out for a miracle....sadly this young woman appears more frail and in decline with each successive vlog that seem few and far between of late. It would appear however that she wants to spend her remaining days at home surrounded by her family which is her choice to make in the end. I don't know how much more treatment her weakened body can stand and is it buying her more time but robbing her of the quality of life in the end. I'm sure you have seen much suffering and sorrow in your profession and it must take its toll on you personally at times too....take care 🤔

[@ccalexander1924]

Nobody knows what they would do until they are faced with that situation. I have no idea what I would do. I have an idea because I see patients all the time …. Her body will know the next step to take as time passes. Ask your drs about therapy with others who are in the same place as you and Jen. They can probably help you with this journey better then those who have not experienced it

[@DOA-321]

@@ccalexander1924 I remember Jen's last vlog when she was asking for suggestions as to how to deal with her panic attacks and I suggested group therapy as opposed to constantly being reliant on her husband and family to quell her anxiety.... can someone do hospice at home instead?🤔

[@ccalexander1924]

@@DOA-321 yes. That is an option if she wants it

[@juniordixie9489]

Please talk about when Jenny has decided she has had enough. I know you don’t want to hear this, but my friend and her husband discussed when they both agreed she had been through enough. This was the best decision. She had 6 weeks of quality time with her family. She was able to say goodbye and she knew she made the right decision for herself.

[@pandapower5902]

I’m sure they will but they aren’t there yet. They have been lucky in that she qualified for a new type of brain radiation and also for a clinical trial. Usually cancer patients, especially young cancer patients, exhaust all options before coming to the point you are speaking of.

[@marieparr7845]

Exhaust all options you say but its exhausting jenny in a bad way so let her have some quality in her life no more treatment.

[@juniordixie9489]

@@pandapower5902 my friend was 41 with glioblastoma. She left behind 6 and 8 year olds. She was offered other trials at MD Anderson but she knew she was done. She went through 2 surgeries, numerous chemos and radiation.

[@juniordixie9489]

@@marieparr7845 this is how my friend felt. 41 year old brain cancer patient.

[@LoverofSunflowernBees]

@@pandapower5902I would maybe do this too and I’m 53.

[@adventureswithlivy3834]

Please don’t worry about keeping everyone updated when you can’t. Enjoy the precious time with your family. That’s what’s most important.

[@user-hx3uk2fe5e]

You're a creepy man boy pysco Kyle, you have been blinded by youtube and go fund me $$$$$ you havent mentioned your new luxury car😊

[@FLMegan]

It's venting/processing and it can be helpful.

[@Indy_Girl]

I’ve lost 6 close family members to cancer and one was just diagnosed. I’m a Hospice nurse. You’ll both know when quality over quantity matters and when enough is enough. Sometimes quality is better when you’re young and have young children. You’re correct about treatment causing harm. I believe you’ll both know when the time to stop is at hand. Much love to you both.

[@paulo7200]

Curious: is the cancer patient population stable or exploding upwards? I watch the livestream of my old church in Northern California and church prayers now are basically an ever-increasing litany of new cancer cases.

[@SophisticatedBob]

My wife had brain cancer, passed in late September 2020. I was her caregiver for the last 1.5 years of the downturn. What you are going through is hard, but you've got it within you to get through it. Stay strong if you can. You're doing fantastic, really, just fantastic.

[@heathertaylor6774]

My beloved husband died after 18 months of a dreadful time with Leukaemia treatments. My one regret is that he put himself through treatment after treatment to no avail. Maybe it gave him a little more time but it certainly wasn't a quality of life - quite the opposite. I forgot to say my advice would be to accept and enjoy every single moment. Quality over quantity.

[@maggietaylor9475]

I’m so sorry to hear that. Sending you a big hug via the ether ❤

[@heathertaylor6774]

@@maggietaylor9475 Thank you. I loved him so very much

[@sl4983]

Exactly.

[@lizgephart2040]

I can’t agree more. Demanding for more time staying alive means accepting more harm to your care givers and children especially. I am sorry to sound harsh on this opinion of mine but I find it selfish to resist in having a few weeks or months more because these are the most traumatic memories that your kids will have to spend more time trying to overcome and forget these torcheres time that their mother suffered on those days. Dying with dignity maybe would cost you 1-2 months time of your life but will save our family’s mental health. Dear Kyle there is too much hope in these new trials and heartbreak follows right after the treatment. Acceptance of this horrible unfortunate reality instead of running around for another false hope might be a better option. Just spend the time she left with less pain and try to creat new and happy memories. ❤❤❤❤ her time in this World is coming to an end unfortunately😢😢😢😢😢.

[@heathertaylor6774]

@@lizgephart2040 Beautifully put x

[@rozee2133]

Mama Bear fighting for one more day with her kids and loved ones. Whether it’s one more treatment or no more treatments. It’s admirable. Those kids will watch these videos when they are older and realize how very deep her love was for them ❤❤❤❤

[@524FrmGrl]

So well said

[@dolinaj1]

May I reiterate: Please engage with home hospice care, Kyle and Jenny. It offers profound insights and comprehensive care. Your admission that you only can control what you control is a huge acceptance, and very important. Endgame is never entirely in our control, and it may not be want you want. I do not have the faith gene, but I am in home hospice care, and have some understanding of how you feel. Please enroll in hone hospice urgently if you have not already. Muchisimos besitos from Deborah. PS: You may find things do turn out as they are supposed to turn out, whether or not you want that outcome.

[@Berrycool56]

Kyle It’s sad all around, you know Jenny’s not going to get better, she’s fading fast , maybe just spend quality time together ? I understand her will to live but you have to be realistic too .

[@lilyfromBrissy]

Agreed.

[@loulou7963]

@@lilyfromBrissyagreed too

[@ninaappelt9001]

Her diagnosis was terminal from the start, but you're never ready when the time comes. Jenny gave it all she had to give.

[@Drbethturtlewoman]

I am a cancer survivor and I was a Hospice Doctor in the past. My experience as a Physician is that the patient knows when they are ready to change directions. Its up to the family to make them feel ok with their decision regardless if we agree or not. My other advice is One day at a time. Live for this moment and not tomorrow.

[@tammysmith1398]

At some point it's about quality over quanity. That said I read an article once about when doctors get cancer, most often they do not choose any intervention. I asked my doctor if this was true and he replied "Yes". I asked her why when you offer it to us and encourage us to take treatment when doctors don't. Her reply was that in training it is constantly told to you to save lives. But as a doctor, we know that quality over quantity is what counts. We don't want the pain and suffering that goes along with treatment. Because we know. I see the life draining from her. Her last 3 to 6 months are closing in, and she has very little quality.

[@enigma_-_79]

@Kyle Apple @Jenny Apple. In this video, you did exactly what counselling is supposed to do. You allowed yourself time to talk, think and come to your own conclusions. You did not need any guidance from your audience. My background is in psychology. I hold a PhD and a PsyD. I am going to be very honest with you here, because not to be so would be remiss of me. I hear you saying, “the next treatment” instills fear of just how much the human body can take and you “wonder if the next new treatment will work.” Unfortunately what Jenny is going through now is not treatment. It is an experiment that the doctor/researchers are carrying out to gain as much information as possible about the drug that they are administering to patients. The doctors want to know how this drug will help people in the future, once it has been refined. They are looking at the effects of the drug in various doses. They are measuring the side effects. They are looking to see if it is in any way possible to breach the blood/brain barrier, amongst a host of other variables. It’s a trial. Trials are not treatments. It’s important that you understand this so that you can weigh up how you want to spend the time that Jenny has remaining. The doctor explained to you both that Jenny has developed LMD or Leptomeningeal disease. LMD remains incurable. Without the proton therapy, Jenny’s prognosis would have been measured in weeks, usually around 6-8 weeks is the norm. With the proton therapy, as the doctor said, the prognosis is around 6 -9 months. Jenny has already used up three of those months. I might suggest that your fear is coming from the place where you know that Jenny is dying. The thing to do now is to decide if you want to spend remaining time going through trials, with all their ill effects, or if you would rather not be feeling nauseous, tired and generally unwell so that you can spend quality time together with your children. It might be advantageous to contact your doctor again and discuss this extremely important question with him. Would Jenny be more alert and feel less unwell if she were not undergoing trials. What are the EKG’s showing? Are there any significant findings? Etc. These things are important to know in order to make a decision that is right for you as a family unit. As for the fear itself, how can you not feel fear. Dying is fearful for most people. It is the unknown and the stark realisation that life is going to conclude and that nothing will ever be the same again. You don’t have much time. Spend what little time you have wisely.

[@enigma_-_79]

As for not “fighting hard enough.” That’s nonsense. When Jenny was first diagnosed she was already being described as Stage 3. This was because she put off going to the doctors office and when she did eventually go, she was fobbed off with a “pulled muscle.” Then Jenny put off going because of COVID. Her Stage 3 very quickly became Stage 4 because the cancer was spreading. Jenny had probably already had cancer growing for 2.5 - 3 years by this point. It’s now almost another three years since she got her diagnosis. This means that Jenny has just about exceeded the 5 year point, a point that only 5/6% of the population with lung cancer reach. Jenny has done everything that her doctors have required of her. She has fought valiantly. I recall a friend of mine approaching end-of-life. She was only 31yrs and breast cancer had spread to her lungs and brain. One day she talked to me about her family celebrating her still being alive. However she then said, “it’s ok for them, if I’m alive, they aren’t sad, they’re chasing rainbows, but me, I can’t go downstairs to celebrate, I’m just a lump in the bed, in lots of pain and without the breath I need to do anything about it” She then screamed the most agonising scream I’ve ever heard. I suggested she speak with her sister, which she did. My friend went into hospice and passed some weeks later with the blessing of her family. Catching cancer in the body at Stage 1 is crucial. We don’t have nearly enough education about cancer. Secondly, it’s important to know when enough is enough. People with cancer should never feel forced to “fight” and live on, in order to make others to feel good.

[@dena61965]

Beautifully said.

[@enigma_-_79]

@@dena61965 Thanks. Acceptance and facing the truth will dispel the fear that they are feeling, but it’s often difficult to face reality. I wish them well. All best.

[@jdjenny]

@@enigma_-_79 you are so smart, so wise. I wish I had someone like this in life😖. What a blessing. I hope Kyle reads all your comments!!

[@enigma_-_79]

@@jdjenny I’m a bit wordy. 😂 I didn’t realise that I had written so much, but thank you for the compliment.

[@musicallover3868]

I took care of my mom at the end of her life. She did not have any treatment options, so we all decided to spend all of our time surrounding her with love. It was a very precious time. Peace to you all.

[@donna1389]

After 2 years of treatments for my mom she decided enough was enough. She was in terrible pain and spending all of her time sleeping, and going to the hospital. Quality of time vs quantity of time. She went on hospice and we had 3 great months with her. For her the treatment was worse than the cancer. My prayers are with your entire family.

[@user-hx3uk2fe5e]

You're a creepy man boy pysco Kyle, you have been blinded by youtube and go fund me $$$$$ you havent mentioned your new luxury car

[@hownwen]

So true...

[@user-hx3uk2fe5e]

@@hownwen thankyou

[@GroundhogBaby]

I agree. It's time to stop treatments and have some quality time with her children that they can hold close their heart, cherish and hold close to their heart. This is not benefitting then right now. In fact it's scary for a 4 and 8 year old.

[@loulou7963]

@@GroundhogBabytotally agree. I feel they need to accept the inevitable and cherish every moment as time now is precious I know

[@jenniferlashley2081]

Kyle, I am caregiver to my husband who has Stage IV kidney cancer. After a year and a half on immunotherapy and targeted therapy, he is stable. He is back to work full-time and feeling pretty good. My struggle is to enjoy this time of relative normalcy, and not let my fear steal the joy of moments small and big. It is a constant battle for me - trying to live the Serenity Prayer and trust in God's plan. You are doing a great job, and I'm so glad you and Jenny are seeing therapists. I can't tell you anything you haven't heard before, but I can say I'm in the trenches with you, and I understand the pain and heartbreak of a caregiver. Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing how you feel! God bless you both, from Syracuse, NY!

[@98849]

O

[@sandgrownun66]

By letting people suffer, your god sure has an odd way of "blessing" people. He/she/it invented some twisted experiment he/she/it watches over.

[@kathyrok5318]

I have no advice or words of wisdom, but please know that all of you are in my thoughts and prayers. 🙏🏻❤️

[@debbiehollis5711]

I was a hospice nurse .I always think it is alright to let go.Jenny looks poorly at the moment .She has been so brave and struggled on ,so determined. I am so sad for all of you.There isn't much more I can say .My thoughts are with you.

[@jodiemanson2989]

Hey Kyle, I love your channel. I'm a ICU nurse. And honestly, people push past where they should with treatment. But you guys have an amazing team of doctors and you always make very educated a d sensible decisions. You will know when it's time to stop. Trust your gut xxxx

[@darlenebadgley9337]

So true!

[@deniseconnors8124]

Yes, so so true! Despite all of the options for further trials, and it is a benefit that the medical team never gives up, there comes a time when you and Jenny make the decision that is best all around. You won’t be disappointing others, nor will you regret your decision if you choose to go the palliative care to hospice route. People wait too late to take advantage of this wonderful support system. It’s out there for you if you choose. My aunt was on hospice care for one year at a nursing home, then was admitted to a hospice home for her “last days”, came out of a semi- coma, awakened fully coherent and left the hospice home alive to live another full year in relative peace and comfort thanks to palliative care! This is a true story! This was all while fighting an advanced stage of cancer.

[@carolgorgoni309]

And I really think that the doctors must have some kind of hope for her because they continue to give her the option of more treatment. They have not reached the point that they’ve said no more.

[@glitterbomb7764]

​@@carolgorgoni309they won't reach that point. They're using her for science experiments.

[@bartholomewrichards1663]

​@@glitterbomb7764Well I see nothing g wrong with that .thats how we learn.also it might cure the cancer becuz Noone knows.

[@carolzak3826]

Yesterday, I was just being lazy when my daughter called. She said to me,”Mom I have some bad news and some good news, I have breast cancer.” The feeling in my stomach was one of emptiness. I felt my face go red and I couldn’t catch my breath. But I knew I had to hold it together and so I asked her what the good news was. She told me the doctor told her that she caught it really early. She had had a mammogram five months ago that came back clear. She said that the tumor was so small she couldn’t feel it, and neither could her doctor. She was drying her hair after her shower and each time she’d raise her arm there was a dimple in her breast, below her nipple, and it had never been seen before. She went to the doc that same day, and he read her last mammogram. There was nothing! They did a needle biopsy and it came back positive. She’s going to many doctors appointments to decide what comes next. I only wish Jenny could have that kind of good news. Don’t give up, we’re all praying for you and your family. God bless you all.🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@darlenebadgley9337]

🙏🙏

[@KraftyLu]

I'm praying for a miracle for you guys, whether it comes or not, I still believe it's in the power of God to do what he needs for Jenny. I lost my mom to lung cancer, it is hard watching those we love suffer so much. Jenny is such an inspiration, never give up, and know that you are loved by strangers who admire your strength through your hard journey. Kyle you're the best! I feel your pain and your LOVE!! Praying for you guys!

[@ceciliasosa2858]

Kyle when my brother was in the same health situation he was so ill and the decision of whether to continue treatment or just rest his body and enjoy family time with the help of pain meds etc. was difficult for him of course because he didn’t want to let us down. We as a family talked to him and told him it was ok to rest and not do anymore treatments if he felt so sick. We told him “do not worry about us we will be fine, we will take care of each other promise. We love you intensely and we will miss you but one day we will be together again. “ He passed peaceful that day it’s as if he finally accepted that he needed to rest. I’m sure you have probably had this conversation with Jenny but continue to let her know she has been so brave but it’s ok if she needs her body to rest. Peace be with you -Cecilia

[@kkdoc7864]

Since I’ve been watching your struggle, I have commented on this dilemma. There has to be a time when you stop treatment. After all, you are giving her already ravaged body a poisonous substance for an incurable disease. Ever since the proton beam treatment, she has declined rapidly. And her quality of life has suffered. As a Christian, I hate to say she’s not going to recover, but, as a doctor, manmade therapy will not help. If it prolongs life by a month, is it worth giving her more poison? Only God can cure this. Of course He can work through Rx, but I see no evidence she is improving. You only have power over one thing, and that is making the decision between palliative/hospice care or more chemo. I pray for wisdom, and I support whatever decision you and Jenny choose. God bless you!! 🙏💕

[@joannwormbrand8413]

I agree.

[@susaneichmann7015]

I couldn’t agree more. Since the proton therapy she’s declining rapidly. My choice would’ve been to stop any kind of treatment before the proton therapy because she was already very weak. At this stage her drs should’ve advised her to stop with all therapy but they’re making good money now. They should make peace with the fact that it’s end of life now. This is also confusing the kids tremendously in my opinion. She’s unfortunately never going to get any better.

[@naomijones8564]

That's was the most candid comment ever, fair play to you having the strength to say the words, as it's TRUE and very well put, I think we have all noticed the sad rapid decline in jenny since the proton therapy, it's a fine line when you reach it to cross over that line into palliative care and accept your not giving up your just not willing to spend the time you have left doing a treatment that is only giving you such a tiny amount of extra time, weighing that up must be so difficult, and that's confirmed in the fear kyle has just said, what if this treatment puts her in hospital and kills her,, when she could have 6 months of living and making memories without feeling I'll, yes in pain but that there either way, a horrible devastating decision, we will keep praying xxx❤❤

[@openlybookish]

Beautifully said and shared. Thank you for speaking up. I know it's not popular advice, but I think you are correct. It's not easy to come to this conclusion or decision, but I know Jenny wants to feel well enough to have quality family time.

[@openlybookish]

@@melindaharrington7588Kyle asked for advice, I think the advice was given in a kind, gentle way. It's not easy to stomach, but it's important.

[@shirleyharvey7376]

My brother had Stage 4 and he went through 6 treatments. One chemo round and the others were trials and the tumors continued to grow. One trial nearly ended his life. When the oncologist said she could look for another trial, he said no. That gave him quality time with his family. Hospice helped to make that possible. People can give their opinions on what they’d do but until someone is actually going through the experience, they are only guessing. You’ve been so strong for your family. Prayers for the rest of this cancer journey for Jenny, the kids and for you. Caregivers need to take care of themselves .

[@user-nf5fp6rl3s]

20:16

[@LP-hs6yz]

The physicians have the responsibility to introduce hospice care at the FIRST appointment. They never do and this is negligent. It needs to be on the care plan algorithm.

[@janetheteach]

Well-said!!! But I don't have children. It's all so sad.

[@nolavout3025]

I hate to say this darlin but let her go, she s had enough, let her make the choices now, we love you guys, you will get trough this, life is so cruel but you will survive with your family and beautiful children xxxxx

[@juliannedispain1637]

My mother fought bone cancer for 20 years. She had stem cell, radiation, chemo, bone shots, all kinds of meds, etc etc. She decided April 2022 that she would not take anymore treatments. She was done. She made it until she went into hospice nursing facility. She was there 3 weeks before she passed away in August 2022. She made that decision and she said she was ready.

[@Msmegan727]

My husband passed of a rare sarcoma cancer when he was 33 back In 2016… he went threw all avail chemos and trails his body just couldn’t take much more . I pushed chemo till the end of his life trying to extend his life as much as possible. He fought for 3 long years , and passed 3 days before our daughters 4th birthday, I can relate so much to your videos and it makes me very sad to see your family in this position. Looking back I do regret pushing chemo so far vs focus on the quality of life we could have had. When he finally stopped chemo and decided to do hospice at home we had the best 3 months we had had in years !!!! Some things are hard to talk about in a situation like this. I’m praying for your strength

[@milankatz9628]

Best advice👍

[@jennynunez7946]

I lost my husband to lung cancer 14 yrs ago. He also tried different types of treatments, but he was in pain, in and out of the hospital he suffered so much. My Son later told me my husband keeped with treatment for me, because I had hope for a cure, I was in denial. I only wish now he would have stopped treatment and lived his last days comfortably and not suffering😢.

[@debraridpath5674]

Courage isn’t the lack of fear. It is being fearful and facing that fear head on. You and Jenny have more courage than most. Hugs to you both!

[@cindymaulden2226]

Maybe it would be better for Jenny to stop treatment, recover from the terrible side effects, and enjoy the time she has left without the sickness that comes with the toxic chemicals. Accept she’s going to die, enjoy your time while you can.

[@bobtruck1594]

My mom fought for 4 years. Chemotherapy, targeted therapy,radiation. All led to hospice and TIRED. She fought u til her lungs got overwhelmed with tumors. Pressured mask breathing finally was assigned to her 4 days ago. She still had a hard time breathing. I asked her... do you wish to stop? She said YES! We removed the mask with doctor and she passed in under 2 minutes. BRUTAL in how they push treatment after treatment knowing NOTHING will stop the cancer. Insurrance make $$$

[@fififirestone3787]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear mother. May her memory be a blessing.

[@bobtruck1594]

@@fififirestone3787 thanks. :/ we carry on. Circle of life. I learned something from this experience. People that have gone through this always say "hug your loved one tight and close when they are around." Incredibly I understand this now. Now I know!

[@prayandgo]

My heart aches for you all and my prayers are with you. My question is this…have you & Jenny invited a Hospice /Palliative care nurse into your home to speak with you? Listening to what they have to offer and how they might change the quality of Jenny’s life, does not mean giving up. They may actually give Jenny a new kind of hope for quality of life. I honestly can say, I have never heard even one person say, “I wish we wouldn’t have brought Hospice in “ on the other hand, I have heard “I wish we wouldn’t have waited so long to hear Hospice”. Love and hugs to you.

[@Rnjeepshoelver]

So true ❤

[@katiesfarmhouse]

I have nothing to say other than this is a brutal, brutal situation. It really brings home just how cruel and nightmarish existence can be. You and Jenny are unbelievably excellent human beings & it just devastates me that you two are having to endure this. You are truly heroic.

[@gwenvann7279]

Well said. We all have come to love you Jenny & Kyle. ❤️

[@Ljosi]

Yes, after witnessing numerous cases like this on yt, and numerous videos of what people do to each other in some parts of the world (like cartel videos), wars, disease, and it all comes together and suddenly you see it all clearly - nothing matters. Your wellbeing is temporary - this is key, if illness doesn't take it death will, so it's just pointless really

[@LaceCoveredSkies]

I have had stage 4 cancer since 2020. I more often than not refuse most treatments my doctor suggests. I stick with the treatments that give fast results and usually opt out of the ones that have a lot of side effects. This has been helpful for me. I pray Jenny can have as much quality and quantity as possible. ❤

[@cindychurchill1003]

I lost my husband 11 1/2 years ago, at 53, to a failed chemo/bone marrow transplant. His liver was destroyed by the chemo and he had ascites just horrible and oh how he suffered for 2 months! As his care giver I never even wanted him to go through treatment at all, but it was ultimately his decision and I dealt with it as best I could. As Christians I have always quoted Paul to say, ' to live is Christ and to die is gain'. He is in heaven and I am still here...without him. As his widow, I have said that if I were to ever get cancer I would not seek treatment at all because of what he went through. I still have PTSD from the how and effects of his death and dying. He died in my arms and I will never forget. You do what's best for you. I just couldn't put my family through the hell he/we went through. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you navigate this hell on earth 😢

[@tiffany3294]

As an outsider looking in, I can see how tired she is with the fight...you dont deal with the fear...you come to acceptance and spend your last days peaceful (with hospice care) this is so difficult cos she is so young.

[@cindygaudet1390]

I sometimes wonder if that’s why she keeps hinting about dying is it totally fear or is it fear/ it will happen. So sad

[@jenniferbyrne3458]

I watched my mom die of cancer. It was awful. Some treatments made her feel worse. I think you both know the answer. You both need some peace. My prayers are with you.

[@BeverleyMiller_]

Where there is breath there is HOPE, 🙏❤️🕊️🍃

[@kathyneichoy3471]

As a retired RN of MedSurg/Hospice,I'm hoping one day you will read this and find comfort. You have been given a gift of knowledge, Only God knows the date but he has whispered in your ear to get ready. The luxury of saying goodbye and not be left behind with what if's/I wish I had of.

[@myliverandme]

Thank-you for your concern about us. You and Jenny are loving and sympathetic people.❤ My husband died suddenly with no warning a few years ago. We were soulmates and I had to watch him die on the ground in front of me. He turned blue before the ambulance could get there. He had a widow-maker heart-attack, and had fallen on his front; he was a muscular, big man, so I couldnt roll him over to do cpr. He had just been in for heart tests and bloodwork as he was starting new employment driving for Fed-X. Nothing showed up at all that would indicate heart trouble. I felt ripped in 2...and still deal with long-grief, and ptsd. Ive been diagnosed with PBS, a progressive autoimmune disease which is destroying my liver. Iam 54. Watching you and Jenny fight helps me fight, and I admire your love. Thats the kind of love my husband had for me, and me for him. Let Jenny make her decisions. Let her be in control of what she feels she can or cant do. She will know her limit❤

[@michelletoler1528]

Words can’t express how I feel for the two of you!! 😢 You two are the strongest people I’ve ever met!! Love you guys!!

[@moni3634]

Consider that people can die because of Treatment..Sometimes you have more quality without IT and Accept it😢

[@em77775]

😢

[@AZgrammy64]

I’ve been a RN for 23 years and have a lot of Cancer in my family. I believe it’s time to stop treatment and allow Jenny to feel better for her last months if it is indeed her last months ?? God has the last day on this so pray and leave it in Gods hands now but think about stopping all treatment at this point . You’ve both done everything you can , now enjoy as much time as you have together.

[@lancejopson2762]

Fenbendazole. I lost my sister and would have wanted to try anything. No side effects. Be strong no matter what happens. God bless you and your family

[@pamthompson3812]

My heart crystal for you. My sister had stage 4 throat cancer. She never gave up. 15 years later, she's here. ❤❤

[@sandgrownun66]

One in three people with throat cancer are cured.

[@bbgirl6741]

She’s a miracle ! The one n only most High God who died but rose again in 3 days still in the miracle doing 🙏🏼

[@sandgrownun66]

@@bbgirl6741 Your jezus died in the most pointless suicide in history. A god who isn't god, but half god, half man, has a bad weekend. Then goes up to heaven, to be with his dad, who at the same time are the the same person, along with a ghost. Make up your mind? There's either one, or three. You can't have either option. Obviously, whomever came up with the god's bad weekend idea, should have been laughed at when he (no women, of course", came up with the plan. Except that everyone nodded their heads in agreement. Thus confusing all who've read the story since. As to whether chritsinsanity is a monotheistic religion, or not. At least islam had the sense to ditch the whole scheme, and just kept the one god idea, and downgraded jezus to just a human.

[@mississippinative4578]

My wife and I are praying for Jenny and you.

[@kyleapple9702]

Thank you so much for your prayers

[@erinnbrown9662]

Your family is always in my prayers. When I was my dad's only caregiver I always told myself one day at a time. Just try to make ever day count. Praying for your sweet family and sending positive thoughts.

[@Nancinmofo-rk8rj]

Jenny should have entered hospice several months ago

[@angelaburke9681]

​@@Nancinmofo-rk8rjI'm very certain Jenny and Kyle have prayed about that very difficult decision. We don't know what the Lord has laid on their hearts. Frankly, Kyle was seeking advice on different ways to cope, which is totally understandable! He wasn't asking for opinions on when to stop treatment and enter hospice. That is a very intimate and personal decision that only they have the right to make or bring up.

[@Nancinmofo-rk8rj]

@@angelaburke9681 Kyle is a grifter

[@dianeblake2527]

Cancer is an evil disease. However, both you and Jenny are putting up an unbelievable fight. You both are an inspiration to all of us out here struggling with various health issues. I always say it is not the length of one’s life, but the quality of the life that matters and you guys have that covered!! ❤

[@glitterbomb7764]

And what are they getting out of that fight? They're not winning. She's dying. Everyone is suffering and traumatized. Sometimes the best thing you can do is to stop fighting when you can't win.

[@m.v.r752]

@@glitterbomb7764 if im going down. Im not going down without a fight

[@CATNAPREAL1188]

Kyle I don't know what kind of insurance Jenny and You have but whatever it is Your Blessed because for a LOT of people when they get sick after a month or 2 they lose their insurance. Welfare Does NOT Keep offering treatment after treatment. Most don't have access to City of Hope God has Blessed You and Jenny More than YOU Know ! You both are Wonderful people and I think between where you live, your insurance and the fact that 2 Awesome people need All of the Help they can get You and Jenny have been provided when the newest , most current, up to date , cutting edge cancer treatments available. MOST OF US for whatever reason are NOT Blessed with ALL OF THE OPTIONS You and Jenny recieve. I Hope that You do get some answers and guidance going forward but I think it's going to be Hard to find other's who have been blessed to survive and still have the most current options available. Please don't lose sight of How Blessed You ARE ! Shoot Kyle some people NEVER get to go to Disneyland let alone over and over. Praying for Jenny , You, Ellis and Winnie! You've got THIS !!!

[@Peaceisful]

4 years ago I was told by my doctor: “you can be in more pain and die quicker or be in less pain and die slower”. What choices we are forced to decide. My Lord Jesus has gotten me through one Blessed Day at a time. You got this!

[@suew4609]

I’m sorry, I don’t understand. How was it that you had those choices? What would make it quicker and more painful, or die slower in less pain?

[@alisonflaxman1566]

​@@suew4609I don't think that was said right cause that would be an easy choice.

[@DustyEngli]

I've always followed the "POG family". Sarah's husband said at the time (video from July 14, 2023) that he and her sister had decided that she had fought enough. No more treatment; no more pain and suffering, just hospice care at home. She spent the last weeks of her life content and relieved, surrounded by her loved ones. --- Maybe Jenny has these violent panic attacks because she knows that any new treatment could prolong life and that the suffering can continue for a long time. We only see the videos. We don't know what happens in the rest of the time and whether Jenny's life is still worth living. Sometimes the greatest act of love is when you let go...

[@user-zj7hs7ms4n]

Kyle, my sister had a brain tumor that took her in 3 months. She had confusion as well. It was a bit of a blessing because she still recognized everyone but after time she didn’t realize that she was critically ill. Blessings to your beautiful family.

[@ritahall45]

Jenny is fighting hard to beat this horrible disease. I know she said she will do anything she can to have more time with you and her babies. All you can do is support her decisions. You are doing an amazing job Kyle as a Father and Jenny’s caretaker. God bless you all through this journey. Prayers, thoughts hugs and much love to you all! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@micheleroberts908]

I was a caregiver and I did get burnt out. The family member told me to take off that Friday and not to come back until Sunday evening. I was hesitant but,went to the beach for a couple of days. It felt so good to just lay there and not have to jump up every 5 mins. I was so relaxed when I got back too. It helped me a lot. I recommend you fine a family member to stay with her for a few days and go somewhere alone,without your children or Jenny. You will feel guilty I know but, once you are alone you will feel that pressure leaving your body and mind. You need this and deserve it. Go for it. Think about KYLE for a few days. You will love it.

[@laurenridgway919]

Always remember. It’s a trial. You can “drop out” at any time. Doesn’t make Jenny a quitter in the least. Ask frequently: “is the juice worth the squeeze?” One day at a time. All those clichés. Love from Maryland. I’m all in on your prayers bus cross-country! God speed.

[@xziztortheeternal6471]

The trials and treatments arn't going away are they? Why not take a break and regroup, assess, and try to revaluate? Healing takes time. How could you heal if you're too busy fighting?

[@mariamorales81]

Talking, sharing with your followers is your therapy. I’ve been on both sides of the coin…breast cancer then 13 years later again. My husband was my caretaker. Then the coin flipped melanoma and prostrate for my husband. I honestly can’t say which one was harder but we’ve both decided at our age 68.. quality of time means more than quantity. Treatments are harsh and debilitating. However, your allot younger and have small children so your decisions are even more difficult. I will say God will take over..he will make your decision. So take one day at a time. Love one another.

[@maryhoward4219]

You are amazing! I am 84 and know there is no comparison but inside I know enough is only enough if it is communicated! No mind readers!

[@hilaryhemmings4666]

We have recently lost a friend who endured 6 months of intense treatment. He lost precious time with his family and their last memories are of him battling so hard to live. Sometimes the right decision is just to live the rest of your life. As a family you are likely to have much happier memories if you aren't permanently affected by treatments, side effects, hospitals and fighting. Sending much love to you all and prayers for clarity of decision making.

[@ukmedicfrcs]

Fighting until your last breath is commendable and I would feel proud of my family member for doing so. Jenny doesn't have to choose between spending quality time with family and continuing treatment.

[@cerorchid]

I agree that quality is more important and quantity.

[@Renee1318]

I agree!

[@ukmedicfrcs]

@@cerorchid Her cancer makes her very sick and tired! I'm an oncologist so I know what cancer and treatment does to a body.

[@ukmedicfrcs]

Definition of the word * Medic * A medic is a doctor or medical student. [informal] 2. countable noun. A medic is a doctor who works with the armed forces, as part of a medical corps. I'm not concerned with what a stranger online believes or doesn't believe. Maybe next time you can do a little research before leaving a comment. Have a fantastic day!

[@KarinKuiper]

Kyle, it has been 19 years since I was in your position. I hear you... I understand what you're saying. You're a trooper, and such a great partner for Jenny to have by her side. You have cancer by proxy, please take good care of yourself too! And if ever I've seen people handle this burden well, it's you two. Your children are so lucky to have you two to guide them.

[@welshwitch2126]

I look every day for an update video. I not sure how long I’ve been following you and Jenny, but you feel like family at this point. And I feel like I’m losing a family member. You and Jenny are going through all the stages of grief. There will come a time when you’ll both reach “acceptance”. Continuing treatment to buy more time is a double edged sword. There’s always that hope. On the other hand, at what cost? I’m not a medical professional, I’m just a person who lost her mother to pancreatic cancer in 1982. She decided to do chemo to buy more time and maybe get cured. 95% odds against either happening. 6 months from diagnosis to the end, and it was not a good 6 months. It seems to run in my family. If I’m ever diagnosed with it, all I want is something to treat symptoms and the pain, and I want to travel and do things with my family until I can’t anymore, because I believe in quality over quantity. I’d rather have 6 weeks of quality than 6 months of torment. I’m not that strong. At some point, Jenny will want to stop and you will have to be okay with that. You have been fighting for her, just like she’s been fighting for you and those beautiful babies. It’s so unfair. A love like yours is worth fighting for! But you’ll eventually have to give her permission to stop treatment and tell her it’s okay for her to go when she’s ready. Only God and Jenny will know when it’s time to go. Kyle, you’re a wonderful husband and father, and a truly good man. Always remember that! I’m praying for peace and comfort for you all❤️

[@michellefrench6617]

Thank you for sharing your feelings as a husband and a father and a man. Men tend to keep things inside. Real strength is found in vulnerability. You are setting a precedent for your kids and other men in your situation. I know your circumstances are personal but thank you for publicly sharing your tender journey. Much love to you and Jenny and your kids and family. ❤ God bless and comfort you and give you peace.

[@jaynedee4577]

I narrowed it down to asking myself, what will the quality of life be like. And I went from there. No more treatments and I’m still here 10 years later. The decision wasn’t easy because I knew it could’ve gone the other way. But I accepted that. Sending blessings and strength your way.

[@bbgirl6741]

What kind of cancer did you have ?

[@shilohivy4590]

I am a breast cancer survivor. My heart goes out to you. The friends I made while doing chemo(it was brutal for me as well) died. I am lucky. Six years out. No evidence of disease. I live with its shadow every single day. I know how hard this is. You are so so young. God bless you.

[@aprilharris9480]

My dad had lung cancer. Never smoked a day in his life. Found out he had cancer. He took one round of chemo and decided he wasn't going to take any more treatments. He was in his early 70's. He passed away shortly thereafter but moral of the story was that he wanted his last days to be about quality not quantity and we all supported him in this decision. A little different maybe than someone that is young, but in the end it really is about making peace with whatever decision you make. Really love watching your story and seeing how much you love one another. Praying always

[@stephanypasnin1474]

I think Kyle just being there for your wife and children is enough. Most men would run. At the end of the day you can look back and say i did the best i could for my family. Life sucks. No family should have to endure this. I wish i could take you out of this nightmare. Sending hugs

[@lindahowell3605]

Prayers for you…. After 4 years of a stage 4 battle with my son, all I can say one minute at a time just breath. You are right do what you can do and trust God! Prayers for Jen and your sweet babies ❤❤

[@juliesmoochy3996]

Sending you my love and prayers from the UK 🥰 ❤️ 🙏. So sorry for everyone who is suffering 😢

[@ralphpussilano]

Hi Kyle. My wife was diagnosed with stage 4 kidney cancer and stage 3 kidney disease. We are married for 49 years. You are amazing and strong I am shedding tears for you right now, but after you cry you feel better, keep the faith and pray often. Ralph

[@carried5899]

I have saw many dad's and husbands in my life time but I can honestly say I've never saw one as loving and dedicated to his best friend his wife the mother of his children as you are to Jenny. Kyle God put you and Jenny together for a reason because you truly are as one. I've Bern praying so hard for you those babies and Jenny and your families and I Just wish I had the words to say what a blessing you all have been to me to all us. ❤ The only advice I would like to give you is this...those times when you don't know what to do or you can't stand the pain or you're scared just say or pray or scream it even... "JESUS HELP" And I promise He will !! ❤ Loves and lots of prayers God Bless🙏

[@user-rz9sj4od3v]

Kyle , thank you for the update on Jenny . I have been praying for you and your family , jenny is tired , and she is continuing to hold on for you and your kids . Everything is in God's hands, The sad thing is you have to look at quality of life . unfortunate we all succumb to dying , part of life , my mom had cancer I was her 24 hour care taker , seeing her suffer each day was torture on me and on her . When she feel asleep I would go outside and pray to God to save her I could not imagine life without my beautiful mom and I would blubber cry I had to be strong for her , she would tell and ask me to let her die , living was hard and she was so tired . She would tell me if love me you let me die . she was dying each day and I refuse to let her go, too be honest as much as I loved her , I would ask God to take her home so she could rest , cancer is a horrible diease , she ask me to hold her hand in the end until she passed I knew she was leaving me , and I sat at he side with her had interwind with me for 6 solid hours , and watch the rigged tightness on her face from the cancer eating her body up , and then seeing the calmness come over her face and she passed while we held hands . She was tired and wanted to go home to God to rest . Like you said when is enough is enough so much is out of our hands . I finally decided to accept to my moms request. As long as Jenny wants to fight she will , but if she chooses to rest and go home to God then that is okay too ...Let it be her decision . I pray for you all ... God bless