The First Sign That You Have Won Against Narcissist

[@prostyle1626]

If their absence brings you peace, you did not lose them, you have won yourself again.

[@michellegaines3568]

Me too I agree 💯 percent ❤❤❤

[@michelleflynn7485]

Love this!

[@marysullivan1815]

I got hin out of my life 10 years too late scamming me while living with me . Many police visits who did absolutely nothing but take him away and put him in custody . He would come back the next day nothing would change nothing at all

[@prostyle1626]

@@marysullivan1815 Nothing changed until you changed. Glad your out of a toxic situationship.

[@marysullivan1815]

@@prostyle1626 thankyou

[@WeR1bodyNChrist]

You know you have won when you can laugh at the narcissist’s attempt to manipulate you rather than fall for their shenanigans. Keep moving forward. No contact. 💯🎯

[@rsj4192]

💯

[@michellegaines3568]

I agree 💯 percent ❤❤❤❤

[@valerieriggins3184]

TRUE! SOOOO IF You STILL Bitter Like Out Of Control You Been Bit By A NARC You Need Time To Heal SELF. YOU Gotta BE Able To Laugh At Some POINT!

[@nancyarchibald9095]

Even when it's my daughter #5, mother to 4 kids. It's June 21st. Last I talked to her was Thanksgiving last year. It doesn't FEEL like a triumph. It feels like a loss.

[@SylviaAmpah]

Absolutely, u couldn't have said it any better.

[@la.mu.sa10]

Detachment is literally peace ✨

[@natashaj9169]

🎉 high 5 to that 🎉

[@Vicky-jh3ci]

So true

[@avinashkumar-mb7wh]

Its true

[@Krishna-pk9up]

but it's not easy

[@ambilyps5995]

​@@Krishna-pk9upit's true

[@leticiavaldiviez6678]

Even if it is family and you love them, you realize after you’ve walked away that you don’t miss them.

[@bbnjricks6453]

My God. Shaking my head. Even though my familial relationships lacked unity, I wasn't sure if it was morally wrong of me to feel relieved about spending a condiderable amount of time apart from them.

[@TNothingFree]

"They couldn't show genuine affection and it wasn't your fault" I shed a tear :

[@annadonahue4119]

It was disappointing

[@lifeofmighty7676]

😢

[@dwlsn93]

The trick isn’t to quit the argument - but to not take the bait in the first place ❤

[@susanfisher3655]

Exactly! Don't take the bait. Narcs troll constantly

[@tommcewan7936]

That's the *second* stage of the process; the advanced class, as it were. This video is only step one.

[@NightOwlGames]

many of us didnt see the bait we didnt know this type of person existed.

[@sarahcinnamonthriving9563]

Yes, part of learning to quit the fighting cycles with them includes recognizing all their fight-BAITING tactics, and no longer feeling it is worth your time, energies, or well-being to engage in any of their toxic disconnects and fight-baiting.

[@freud5898]

Yes, Yes, Yes, @deewilson446!!!! Thankfully, I had learned that (after a lifetime of abuse). So, I was ready when a cousin I hadn't heard from in 50 years appeared on the scene. I immediately detected heavy narcissism and distanced myself. Looking back, I would have done that even sooner, but all the kinfolks were gathering round/making over this person, so I was involved for a little while. But when heavy verbal abuse started, I went no contact/didn't answer phone calls/cards/nothing. I don't need present-day abuse after past abuse. I got (secretly) amused hoping cousin tells the kinfolks how unsociable I am. Go for it, Cuz.... :)

[@VikingSpirit942]

When I had sudden, severe abdominal pain, nausea and pains in the chest, he kept on making a curry for dinner. Called my own ambulance. When they came, he spent the entire time telling them how he had been in a motorbike accident and had been in an ambulance- even showed them the scar- while they were treating me. I was invisible. They asked me on the way to hospital what the hell that was all about and I said “I need him out of my life”.

[@desertangelfish140]

So cold! Sorry....

[@bernitacenteno1326]

@Annette Hecker BOY OH BOY! YOU ARE RIGHT. YOU NEED HIM OUT OF YOUR LIFE, NOW.😮😊

[@bernitacenteno1326]

May God bless all of you who experienced what Annette Hecker did. I understand. It's awful. I hope shes's FREE OF HIM BY NOW. 😇

[@VikingSpirit942]

…and happy to report that 9 years after the devaluation stage started, I was finally able to get him out of the house and now I am moving to a fresh start, peace and safety💪🏼

[@sitascott8446]

@@VikingSpirit942 So good to hear!!!

[@tamifox]

Took me 65 years but I finally did it two weeks ago. I can't tell you how free I feel.

[@alondonlady82]

I pray every day that my nearly 75 year old dad will outlive my mom so he can experience this because he definitely isn’t ever going to leave her, even though it’s beyond obvious that he is miserable in the marriage most of the time. They’ve been together since they were 16. About ten to twelve years ago, I think he was legitimately considering divorce, but now I think he believes he’s too old or, just as likely, he is simply such a good-hearted family man that he can’t bring himself to leave her alone like that - because he knows she would be alone if he left. She has only 2 siblings left, and both of them are narcissistic, as well, and I don’t put up with her bullshit anymore. He knows I’m one episode away from full no-contact - again. My ten-year-old witnessed part of the last one, and I made it clear that I will do anything it takes to protect my children’s hearts from seeing or being exposed to that sort of volatility. It totally wrecked him to know that because he lives for my kids and me. God, I love that man. He deserves so much more love, peace and happiness. So do you! Very proud of and happy for you to have broken away! Sadly, I married the male version of my mother. It took me almost 20 years and lots of therapy to open my eyes to it. I’m in talks with an attorney and getting all my ducks in a row to leave. I cannot wait!

[@Sweepee-v2v]

Fantastic! Congratulations 🎊 Another one for FREEDOM! 😂 all the best is on the way. ❤️

[@janettekreulen54]

Feel so great ..❤

[@lauramakin834]

Amazing ! there is hope for us all

[@sanjakostic5122]

So glad you did it... You freed your self, you are so brave . Sending you big virtual hug ❤😊

[@gracea5035]

My biggest mistake was loving him more than I loved myself.

[@roberttruman8444]

That's easy to do when they utilise the push & pull techniques, criticise, withdraw love, and silent treatment etc to get you addicted.

[@buffalogal9139]

So very well said and so glad you see it now.

[@marysullivan1815]

You can't love a narcissist as they are not worth loving

[@buffalogal9139]

But now you know that and are free to move on; life will teach us the same lesson over and over until we learn it. And now you have learned and are ready for a much better life. Congrats.

[@marysullivan1815]

I don't think you can lobe a narcissist who never cared for you . They are with you to simply use and abuse you nothing else its all about them

[@TheCyberMantis]

Yes, when you go "no contact" and never see or hear from the narcissist again, you have won. When you never think about them again, you have won.

[@Usernpclookinahh]

YAH’ MEEN, YA RABBI 💗

[@joannefernie8982]

You can never expect a change in a narcissist but you can change YOU! ❤❤❤

[@ironlady6897]

Oh, contraire.....you can expect changes. They get WORSE!

[@lhyllianamarseilles]

The narc is scraping for an emotional response from you.. even when you aren't reacting, they will create your reaction in their head.

[@growingandlearning164]

Yes !

[@lauriekirn1472]

This is so true. Even when grey rocking, they will accuse you of yelling. Pathetic.

[@nadiacavallini4728]

💯

[@Ultra_Ultraline_27]

Or try to trigger you until they get one,pathetic

[@mambacaramba7370]

​@@Ultra_Ultraline_27 NEVER react! It's a hard mental challenge, but it works!

[@crystalcole888]

One of the best things that I realized, that helped me keep my emotional detachment to the situation, was that chaos was their goal. Chaos, and the fight, were their goal. Narcissists need chaos to distract themselves from their rotten inner core. I mean this literally. They are obsessed with the fight, with conflict, so that they don't have to sit and be with themselves. So there is no winning. As long as you are emotionally engaged in the conflict, they are getting what they want. The only winning is leaving. And refusing to give them any emotional energy whatsoever.

[@kenishah.784]

When i told narc partner i was n therapy n cutting off all distractions he kept trying to argue so he became aware he was on borrowed time n got left behind today!😅🎉

[@Bianca-sw5id]

True but I still want the truth about what I was lied to

[@paula622]

​@@Bianca-sw5id you won't get the truth from a pathological liar, they fear the truth, it distorts their lies

[@bernitacenteno1326]

@ Chystal cole I experienced this for years and I can agree with your words 100%, FOREVER AND THAT'S FOREVER. THANKS. 😊

[@elizabethd.2398]

⁠@@Bianca-sw5idAs long as you “need” that information, you’ll be tethered to the narcissist and giving them narcissistic supply. When you no longer need it and are indifferent to it, you will begin your healing journey.

[@babyrenee6537]

The only way to win with the narcissist is to simply STOP PLAYING THE GAME. Cut your losses let go.. then inhale your newfound PEACE and FREEDOM

[@anthonymonroe5952]

I'm actually there!! 💔I'm sad cause even though she is a remarkable person when she's not in a mood, I'm not sure she'll ever be truly happy because she literally does not want to think or see past herself! I'm drained, emotionally and financially. I will not do this again! I'm done, I have nothing left! Now that my eyes are open I've begun working on myself, building myself back up. I am someone that will not stop till I am somebody! A man that will die in the end KNOWING I've made a difference in a positive way 🌟. Thank you, I needed a little inspiration this morning. Y'all have a good day ✌️

[@rw5943]

My narcissist is cold as ice. They will turn their back on you when you need them the most, therefore I no longer wish to be in a relationship with them

[@mariapena9157]

He was always quick to respond with a no to anything I asked but quick to ask when he needed something from me! I finally left, he was quick to respond with a “wow I can believe you did this to yourself” and a “ #%^* you!”

[@azamudio128]

Yes, "he" responds always to me when i say, or ask anything with "NO" also. i know he hates me.

[@joycehogan6861]

I fell and he pretended not to see me and I was just 10 foot from him. I was injured but the ankle healed and so did my soul.

[@sohinisen3042]

So true. Practising 'DEEP' (do not Defend, Engage, Explain, Personalise) with them is the best way! And the realisation that one can never receive genuine affection from them is a big step towards winning against these insidious souls.

[@ashleyjackson7354]

Thank u for the acronym, that's good!!

[@MelvinDaMan]

Yeah. I pity the one’s who are like that due to genetics or generational trauma. But what can ya do, you know? Just don’t submit or feed into their unending dependency for validation. I wish there was a cure for those born with it, they were unfairly cursed with it. At least therapy has reached new heights compared to the last 30 years.

[@peteywheatstraw4970]

I'm going to try to remember this, thank you!

[@sharib8933]

Trying to do this now. Just ignore

[@maryglo1]

👍🏼❤️‍🩹🙏🏼🗽❣️♥️💟🕊️🕊️🕊️🐦

[@katecrosby7890]

Genuine compassion for yourself, yes I'm there

[@KOdrani143]

The worst nightmare for a narcissist is an educated empath.Leave the game and go no contact.I shut down from him completely.Felt like all the evil energies escaped my life.🙌🙌🙌

[@justmemother2]

My Mom gave everything to my Dad and when she needed him the most, he let her lay on the bedroom floor and die. He acted like he didn't know how to pick up a phone and call for help. After the Paramedics came and packed her body out, he was ready to go and get his toenails trimmed. Today, a year later, the pity I also felt for him is gone, he is going to a rest home. There is no hope for these people. Cold as fish. They will never change. Don't make the mistake of feeling responsible for these poor little helpless creatures. They feel no responsibility for you.

[@CountYourAssets]

I'm sorry for your loss. That is just terrible.

[@pbee.njayay444]

I am so sorry that you’ve had to deal with such terrible things, i really hope you are doing a lot better now and I’m so glad you don’t pity him. It would be a waste.

[@CoachCreesh]

Wow!!! So, sorry for your loss. I tell people all the time that this is exactly how they will treat you if your life depends on it. Some of these wicked thangs allowed their love ones to suffer, and D!€ during the pandemice. They are straight up 😈 😈 😈 😈 😈

[@denisegladden-peters4435]

I’m so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself. 🌹♥️🙏🏾

[@tonyajordan2702]

Omg. I'm so sorry

[@sherryschubarth6878]

I told my Narcissist that he was not marriage material or relationship material.

[@pernille8893]

🤣🤣 Ha ha ha ha understatement of the year🤣

[@keh-dalia809]

The last narc that tried to come my way, I just told him blunt truth, that a man who is not protective of a woman should never have a wife or children. Just speaking blunt truth to them in a totally calm balanced voice, it shuts them down cuz their tricks aren't working. They're a joke, but like a total clown.

[@meditationlodge6950]

Thats where I find myself. I dont care or give a damn anymore. Not even pissed at their foolishness.

[@carmenr9251]

Exactly! I was not in a relationship, but strung along he said nice things, but would barely text back, wouldn’t talk to me at work around other people , like he was embarrassed of me, when I confronted him he said” I was acting crazy, when we didn’t have sex yet” which that statement made no sense I was just questioning why he treated me that way. Long story short I saw him at work with another girl and confronted him again I guess miraculously he is talking to her now. I’m upset why waste my time and yes I question was I not pretty enough , is something wrong with me.

[@marysullivan1815]

I was a thing in my house no affection just drama and gas lighting

[@juliaarambula3153]

Exactly! When you are happier with them gone, you won!

[@serenitylake4211]

I am finally there! After 14 years, I am there and now working on getting out! 🎉👍

[@Faith-ko5eg]

Lose the fear of the narcissist the rest will follow.

[@nicholecornes1915]

Thank you

[@avadea369]

which is extra hard, if they are your parent(s)... but the good news is: it is possible!

[@SheenaFayeFriesen]

And it literally drives them the most crazy. When they realize you legit do not care about them anymore, they cannot handle it

[@xrc7445]

Depends on the case. I have cut out a sister that has hated me since day 1 for taking away from her the "baby if the family" throne. I don't believe she cares that I have cut her out, because she was always trying to ostracize me from the family and also, she has a husband and two kids to torture now.

[@bonnieromick9397]

I have so many Narcs around me Zim in various stages of healing with my snakebites depending on the relationships but one thing I know is I need healing and antivenom every day. I am keen aware of who is what type of snake they are and thus how toxic. Ex. The Cobra (I call it )Covert and the Diamondback (I call it)Malignant and the Garden Snake(I call it) Vulnerable Narc. My environment is so toxic. I have old bites from all of them. Healing now. Self Care HAS TO HAPPEN. Save your sparce energy for you and the only energy they get is no contact No emotions from you. Your a gemstone in a snake pit to teach us how to cope in these situations. Endless Thank You

[@susanblanche9684]

Folks as you walk away from these freaks remind yourself " I lost nothing; how can you lose what ya never had? But you have yourself so focus on you not the jerks

[@lynlinkous3829]

You’re absolutely right ❤, but it still took me years not to judge myself by his demeaning standards. I’m still walking away from the psychological damage.

[@shavongarcia3884]

I'm definitely there!!! I'm over the hump of the back and forth. The only way I can win is to move on with my life. 🎯💯

[@joanneseip6985]

I'm in.. finally after 62 years I'm on the ME SAFE FIRST train and feel sad for them at this point. Incredibly peaceful place

[@namehcvl4884]

7 years ago I left the narc. I remember thinking to myself this is killing me...I can't do this anymore. I'm done.... nd I'm still done.

[@janellemanor2112]

❤

[@Xenazion9834]

🎉🎉🎉 Happy to hear this!!

[@macgirl1234]

I hope you've found new joy in your life!! 💛

[@sreyen1065]

I hope some day I will be strong like you, I just broke up with him 2 months now and still continue with my no contact, but I'm still hurt and sad,

[@WNHTCT]

Three years for me. I had to leave because I was afraid of myself and what I started imagining myself doing to him the next time he gaslit me or did something like screw with my food. Seriously. I wasn't going to let him kill me with my own hands and an assault charge or worse.

[@CaseyWojo]

I’m on day 5 of leaving my narcissist. I’m seeking therapy for all the extensive damage I’ve been put thru. It is very tough. But stay strong everyone ❤️

[@jorgebermudez7829]

Hope you are far away and keep walking away without looking back. Best to you.

[@shirleybeyah3976]

He was the most BEAUTIFUL human being I had ever met. I did not realize at the time that he crafted himself for the effect he had on women. He needed one he could drain financially and I was too blind to see. Don't feel badly. You are NOT alone. Just finding myself again, NOW. IT took me 12 years WITH therapy. But Thank God I made it back to myself❤🎉.

[@SHayford-i3u]

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉😂

[@JoyHarrison]

​@shirleybeyah3976 Yes. The narc I once dated was handsome and very gentlemanly. He was full of chivalry. Then, the communication started to dwindle. I told him a reset was needed or else it wouldn't work for me. He said we'd talk, and then he went silent. I didn't chase him. I let it all go. It was a shock to realize someone could switch it up like that, though.

[@cerin7654]

It took years but it took one fateful interaction that slapped me awake. In that moment I just suddenly saw every transgression pass by in my mind in minutes. So I sighed, closed my eyes, said “ok” and never spoke to him again. I cannot believe how fast my detachment came, when it finally did, because I went back so many times. But now when I think of him I feel nothing. No hate, no ill will, just complete indifference. It was/is the most liberating feeling, and I never thought I would be able to walk away.

[@OK-Take5]

I had the thunderclap moment also and the same feelings afterward. Everyday is beautiful now.

[@butterflly13crochetcrafts45]

I agree there is that one moment when the whole view shifts and you ask why am I wasting my time my energy and emotions.

[@Vicky-jh3ci]

After 22 years I easily detached too

[@beaglerescue5281]

It took 16 years. I feel sadness because it’s my daughter whom I was very close. She’s unrecognizable to me. A total stranger.

[@01splitpea]

You have described my experience perfectly. I am happy for us both.

[@hobbyfarMarm]

Still healing but yes! Disengaged and there is incredible relief to have that all behind me!

[@kim_possible1974]

I remember the actual moment this happened for me. My ex was on my porch and we were discussing the kids schooling. There was a moment where we disagreed on something and he started his usual manipulation tactics. But for whatever reason I did not engage this time. I just got this amazing feeling of peace inside and I simply said. “Okay, well you can go now.” But nicely with a smile on my face. He just stood there stunned. He stumbled over his words and I said “I’m done talking. Have a good day”. And when he stepped back and tried to act like I was crazy..I stood my ground, said nothing more..and watched him back away and get in his car. There was no amount of talking that would change my mind. That is a memory I will always hold dear. ❤

[@meriamhaq123]

If you ignore them they get more mad

[@megpi72]

So true!

[@Iamprotected44-l1h]

Thats the glory of it though

[@ericheffner112]

They hate it because they've lost control. They can't even manipulate you to open your mouth. 😅

[@bernitacenteno1326]

I quit the narcissist because they arn't invested in my goodness or anyone elses goodness. We are opposite ends of that spectrum. I know it. Need I say more ? 😊

[@paulu17374]

My coworker did this to me yesterday. She snapped at me because she wasn’t getting my attention. I tried to talk to her normally but she screamed at me and tried to change my perception of reality so I turned around and left the building. There are some horrible people walking this earth.

[@susang.perlina653]

I agree

[@johngaulding3710]

And lots of them.

[@MegaMisfit138]

You should tell that B that you don't tolerate anyone yelling at you. If she does it again, record it with your phone, and show it to your boss. Tell the boss you can't work in a hostile environment.

[@rekhavishwanath5026]

Yes...I am in that stage where I don't get into any arguments

[@LeahLeah-no9zh]

When you finally get there it is a weight lifted.

[@MM-fc2gi]

U got it! At some you realise EVERY conversation with them is just a game to THEM no matter how genuine you are about wanting peace they will NOT give you that so you give up. FINALLY convinced that negativity is their ONLY desire when they interact with YOU

[@izawaniek2568]

Absolutely agree with you Danish. You detach emotionally from them, ignore them do not engage, explain, defend or personalise anything the narcisists do or say.

[@JustMe-uu3bh]

exactly but do stay very alert and aware because they will do things to sabotage or get you back, guaranteed, until you can escape. just don't have any emotion, be detached, pleasant if you can do it, but don't engage in anything that gives them ammo, just light social bs so they have to compete with you on being like a "human" since they have no emotions of their own. that's what I do.

[@natashahall2134]

I'm there now finally after 20 years of abuse

[@theresn01here]

May you be blessed with 20 years of deep healing and 20 further years of absolute bliss ❤

[@angelapastorius2377]

You are not alone ... 37 years ... smh. BUT at least we finally GOT there! 💖💖👍👍

[@GodisLove4Eternity]

@@angelapastorius2377I’m so sorry - I’m at 34 years and wondering if it is worth it at this stage to go through the whole process and fight to get out … I left for 3 years and it was hell on earth battling through the courts with his lies and him slashing my tires and attacking me cruelly and endlessly I wonder if it’s not better at least to have some good times than to have 💯 of their cruelty after - can’t imagine full no contact ever because of the kids

[@edemontfort9482]

I hope that you can get away because until you separate yourself mentally and physically he will keep trying to get to you. If you have children they deserve better did to have to sit there and watch someone else be abused. It'll mess up their minds.

[@natashahall2134]

@@edemontfort9482 my children are with my family and have no contact with their father. Believe me I wouldn't keep them around this.

[@PrincesaDeDios7-y1h]

Almost 5 years later and so much of me lost, but I'm finally taking off the rose colored glasses. It's been very difficult allowing myself to see that so much evil can exist in one person. 🥺 Thank you so much for your videos. They have been of immense help. It's been a true blessing coming across your content. 🙏

[@jorgebermudez7829]

Best to you. Keep walking away without looking back.

[@jessiejohnson2640]

Yes, I did. Thank you for all the information

[@bosssuperace5230]

Yes I am there! It took me a long time. At 52 , I became aware of narcissistic personality traits. My mom is a narcissist.

[@patjackson1775]

We’re seniors and will stay together BUT thanks to you, I’m becoming my own person again. I’m at peace, as I’ve learned how to gray wall with grace . I manage my emotions in a healthy way . Thank you Danish from. The bottom of my heart.😊

[@andywells2584]

It has been such a relief!

[@katiemacnish8575]

CLEARLY you are dealing with demons. Cut loose from them! Love your videos, have learned a lot. Learned I wasn’t crazy.😂

[@upa_19]

Self love is the best medicine 💊🤍

[@joanmaeflores-real3186]

Yes, Thank you for this! I'm on this level already. 💪 ☺️❤

[@vaishalipatil3372]

Yes,they make that relationship feel like the biggest mistake of your life and out of helplessness you beg and pray to God to help you out of the situation!

[@laurataylor3159]

One sided drama is exactly what happens then they call you toxic. They come barging yelling. I remember literally shaking when I knew he was coming home. He use to cause a fight so he has an excuse to leave. And he had so many addictions.

[@ainahaga]

YeAh they do this to cheat be with others they can never be alone!

[@tivertonlove850]

I feel compassion for myself. I will be kind & put myself first so I can love & be the best version of me for others in the future

[@rkl3692]

Amen

[@susanfisher3655]

The key is "for others" lethe demon rot in misery

[@Marebo07]

​@@susanfisher3655👍

[@Hazelnutcream263]

Hi,👍🙏🙏I’m almost there.Still in phase of shock.I get glimpses of having to move on.Reviewing all the stuff of betrayal I’ve been through,no money scenario,victimhood,and all the shit stuff.Does not want counseling.Offered to help pay…. No go.🙏🙏The bottom line was the instances of evil projections…which was alway spontaneous.Perhaps this is generational and him being a Scorpio.U’ve been very helpful and exact in your explanations….I feel like U know exactly how I feel.Blessings.❤️💐

[@sandyr9081]

Yes I am already there. 👌! After 13yrs of emotional frustrations, turmoil and tik for tac, pointless and futile arguments. I had to finally step away emotionally and start guarding my heart.

[@kittycasino29]

After 10 months out of my break up, I am finally there, and I honestly can't describe the relief I feel.

[@kerrydita1]

I am so proud to say, I am there already... never give up guys .. there really is light at the end of the tunnel 😊

[@MattyNelson-rs3ik]

Find that light in that tunnel..

[@nalinidharanipragada1997]

Yes I think so. No resentment. But definitely I am moving on & away

[@paulom666]

one year and a month !! i am fuckin there bro !! thank you for enlighten us warriors !! 🤘😎

[@OnTheEDge2011]

O though it will last for ever, that felling of sadness...not true. I'm almost completely fine. Im taking care of myself... exercise is a must!!!

[@angelapastorius2377]

thank you for that encouragement. I'm two years post and still "stuck". I need to exercise. 👍👍

[@poison_plays]

@@angelapastorius2377Me too. I’m a year out and doing better, but not as far along as I’d like to be. Exercise and EMDR are two of my near-future goals for working into my life. Wishing you the best of luck on your journey. 💚

[@oliviamiller7434]

Compassion for yourself. That’s perfect. Too many people discuss the narcissist’s hurtful behaviour. It’s much kinder to stop and treat yourself with kindness. Thank you.

[@alicegamewell755]

Discussing the behavior is showing compassion for yourself. Everyone needs to vent.

[@JessicaFreda62]

@@alicegamewell755Exactly.

[@lh4615]

This is the part I’m still struggling with. I haven’t forgiven myself for getting duped by a narcissistic psychopath. I hope I can get to that point one day…

[@samuelbarbary8603]

Bingo! I was married to one for 40 years. You are right on target. You can't win and you can't change them. Don't fight them, just leave. When they realize that you won't give in yo their nonsense, that's when they can get violent emotionally and physically. This is their last stand. So they try to scare you into playing the game again with this violence.

[@sinsity7]

Well said bashir 🎉🎉blessings

[@natashasemrau3670]

Grey rock or total detachment is the only way to go with this personality type. Thank you for all your help. Blessings be to everyone.❤❤❤

[@ClaraBrown-o2o]

Yes and stop supplying these leeches with supply, they will leave and get old supply or new. ❤

[@susanfisher3655]

You are so right! Indifference to a narc's nonsense brings peace. I've washed my hands clean of his mind games and constant, and calculated drama. What a waste of life! My energy is for living my best life with my adult children and grandchildren.

[@janeroberts1354]

They dont even deserve the acknowledgement of retaliation.....freedom from the old feelings.....awwwwwwwww Beautiful

[@angeladefeo9184]

7yrs ago finally left after 26yrs married to narc. 2yrs ago had to cut my mother out of my life too. It hasn’t been easy, but only way to heal yourself is to not allow them to continue to abuse you. They don’t understand or respect boundaries, so you just have to walk away.

[@jananabanana3180]

I dumped my narc back in 2001.... Been all alone ever since.... it's only me and Jesus now....I have resignation and peace .😊❤

[@angelapastorius2377]

@@jananabanana3180 Amen. 💞

I am so there!!!! I just don’t have the energy anymore to give him all my love and be submissive to him anymore. He is gaslighting me trying to make me believe that I don’t treat him great when I know I do!!! No matter what I do and sacrifice for him HE IS NEVER HAPPY!

[@marysullivan1815]

It's very sad that narcissists just destroy your life not make you happy

[@marysullivan1815]

You can't love a narcissist a man who simply doesn't care about anyone

[@danyellehenry2043]

I’m sorry that we have to experience such a vicious cycle of pain from someone we love and give our all to. It’s been 20 years off and on with my husband and I’m finally getting it !! I have gotten to the point of choosing me it was our anniversary and my grandmother died on the same day. The 3 rd day he was horrible to me at home and in public. I was in the hospital for a week and almost died! No compassion just evil games so I let go stood up for myself and I’m at peace!! I distance myself in our home and say less as possible since I can’t leave right now. You stay strong and choose you!! They will never change!!!

[@uniquemc2]

Here! And it feels soooo good!🙌🏾☮️🤲🏾💜

[@privateprivate8366]

I’m there. Because, when I think of the narcissists I still have to deal with, from time to time, I flatline when it comes to having any emotion for them. I’ve even run out of pity.

[@Rae-yl5kl]

I'm free I'm me From surviving to now living ❤

[@Sweepee-v2v]

FREEDOM! HAPPY DAY'S 😊

[@Bhaloo567]

Keep preaching brother. Your insightful lessons are liberating me and setting me free.

[@JohannaBell-d7r]

No contact, when peace is impossible

[@skfarha7851]

Danish your words are my feelings, and........this video is happiness....and I realised I did same 🥰

[@thelieke]

I am not there yet. Sometimes you can't leave a narcissist behind, because It's a family member. I struggle with it. I am at a point that I understand what's going on.

[@InfiniteMindset99]

You will get there❤. That is exactly why you need to leave. Choose you first🎉

[@valerieriggins3184]

Like MOST Of US💅👌💯

[@tony2029]

This is exactly how I feel for a while and the struggle with my emotions because they are family, but the take away is don’t loose yourself in the Trauma Bond, it not healing or recovery.

[@southernbawselady7092]

Matthew 10:36... "Your worst enemies will be members of your own family" So sad, but true! Stay strong and blessed everyone! 🙏

[@katyb2793]

I think the key is forgiveness with boundaries. the book boundaries by Cloud and Townsend is tremendously helpful and gives lots of real life examples. of course, if someone is physically abusive then the boundary is they don't come anywhere near you. family can be really difficult but I think we can be too quick to cut them off sometimes.

[@terridillon3053]

Healing day by day! But yes, I am on my way. Thank you for being here and pointing out the things along my journey. ❤️‍🩹😎

[@scorned_lover3082]

You can do this!!!!

[@Jimmy-cv6yz]

Absolutely right. The best part of this is that she tried to make my daughter a narcissist like her. And in 1 month my daughter shifted and is back on program and now knows how to fight back. Just by walking away.

[@elenaaranda2058]

You are so awesome, thank you, thank you, thank you for your guidance, I can honestly say yes, I have finally made it there!

[@mrspat4409]

Yes iam there...Let peace flow..AMEN.

[@tennesseerose6400]

A decent person with a decent family would be a miracle'

[@earthangel6969]

Yes Danish i have reached that stage i just dont care anymore not even about the smear campaign i have elevated he did not destroy me so i used that as my validation and levelled up

[@lisamariesmith3610]

On most days I’m there but sometimes a triggered memory comes up but it passes because I now have peace and quiet. PTSD is a side affect of their wrath.

[@kashishagrawal3716]

I feel you. You're not alone. Try affirmations:) and tapping. Therapy if you can afford:)

[@joannefernie8982]

Triggering happens when u least expect it! Stay Strong ❤❤❤

[@SLS64]

Yes,same.

[@SiewChingNg]

Affirmation are useful: I am safe in my body..this has helped me recently

[@TheTeaLeavesKnow]

DETACH! Did it! I am happy with myself!😊

[@sheetalsharma8756]

This is what I have done. But I learnt it after 16 years of my married life. You are a great psychologist Danish and I reslly like your videos because through your videos I learn a lot and get validation of what I do with my narcissist partner

[@meanimeconingles]

The worst is when it's a relative. And you can't get a job because of the country you live in and still have to be in the same house with the soulless individual.

[@themysticmuse]

Temp stuck with narc mum. Headphones are my best friend. Waiting on a piece of money, and I'm out. I will never see her again. Done. She's anything, but, a 'mother'.🙄

[@MattyNelson-rs3ik]

​@@themysticmusesad!!

[@roxyabrooks864]

I am utterly indifferent to the narcissists in my life now, and have been for a while now. The feeling is _amazing_ !

[@mortythepug]

A breakthrough for me was ceasing trying to make him realise I'm not the person he kept saying I was! He was this person! I no longer care what he thinks of me! It's been a long road, though. Nearly 2 years after leaving. Lots of tears and self reflection on why I chose him. Stay strong and go back into your childhood, to see why you thought it was ok to be treated like this! You deserve better. ❤

[@Sparrow0514]

I love how you said “rather than feeling resentment you start to feel compassion …and I’m so glad you said ‘for yourself’ and not for them because that is spot on and yes, I’m going to be 60 years old next year and I have finally won against my psychologically abusive mother. Yay I love your videos. ❤

[@THEAMERICANDREAM1107]

Since I detached and moved on, I realized that I didn’t loose her but I discover my self again 😍👌🏼.

[@aprilgonzales7836]

Yes I have gotten here! It's still hard though I still need to watch these videos regularly so I can get it through my head that people are really like this they really don't care for you

[@lisabee9243]

I admire your advice greatly! You have helped me very much. I have cut a much beloved narcissistic younger sister out of my life. I was basically her slave and helped her whenever she snapped her officious fingers, even while being bullied and belittled relentlessly. She is blocked from contacting me but probably has not noticed. All the years of “misunderstandings” when I was being too sensitive at her jabs I took it like an idiot. I have always been the one saying’ we need to mend this. I love you and one day one of us will be gazing upon the other’s face in a coffin. I don’t want to be either one.” I’m NO CONTACT with her since she f-bombed me on the phone (along with other awful things that I never would do to her). My last therapist asked me why I was afraid of her. I told him I didn’t want to lose her. Well I did and she is not who I thought she was. I now have compassion for myself and for her, because I will always love my younger sister but I can’t be around her. I have absolutely no desire for revenge(Thank GOD!!). Thank you for your wisdom and video shorts.

[@MattyNelson-rs3ik]

Same here with a friend who constantly put me down about almost everything X 34 years,,her behavior just escalated as she accumulated her degrees, when she got her doctorate, I could not correct her about anything,she was an expert witness about every subject on earth.When I purchased anything,at any particular store,its I don't shop there,if I got something from a known label,oh I don't like their clothes.shoes,bags,perfume,always a put down.never asked her how much money she made,but she was dying to tell me,,twice,,I would say,wow,that's some good money you are making,,she always had to say how much an item cost her,that she purchased srnding ne photos of dresses bags anything,Finally one day we were having an argument about the pandemic, because i refused the juice,,and she blurted out o me,I am educated, and I needed to come clean, just say it, I am jealous of her,,I was stunned..that was it for me.its almost 3 years,cut her off,she's called several times,I don't have the energy,anymore I am no longer a young person,to get drained that way,in my older years,and where do you go from "YOU are jealous of me." Every convo you have with that person, you'll be wondering ,does she think I am jealous of her?When all along I know it's been the opposite, I don't have the money,cars,houses,401k clothes,education, career ,she has,but yet ..?

[@kristinemcmahon8591]

❤thank you for past 11 months of teaching me, I have been learning.. daily from your videos. when I care about those i love, I put them first. Early childhood programming.It’s even harder to realize that im not ever going to be reciprocated. I’ve been waiting for 23 years. getting more volatile as the years go on. Psychologically verbally mentally. Yes there’s a “Jennifer law” now. What is most heart wrenching is the grieving. The pit of despair I fell in..realizing my reality had been altered. The person you trusted the most was betraying you with every breath that they took. your dreams you had envisioned as a family. You thought you were living , Belonging. I was happiest in my whole entire life. but when spouse pretends to be supportive it’s a show out in public. They don’t talk to you like that at home. you can’t do it by yourself bc they need constant admiration and validation. It’s one sided it’s exhausting, but I don’t give up. Hi kept on trying cook different meals. Go to the beach as a family outing get involved in sports. even I didn’t realize it’s happening. I didn’t know that I was contributing to this false image. He needs different kind of help that I can never give. and it’s not my job to fix him . I Saved myself. Not being selfish not at all. I lived with that guilt my whole life. I can save myself to be present for my my young ones from the wrath, to give them a chance to grow up in an environment with love 💕 compassion and morals. I grew up in a psycho Circus. I don’t want my kids to either ..im breaking thru to the other side, I can be hopeful again when you have peace, i can think. I have choices. I do have resources. When you have a chance to think you realize a lot of other things available to you. When you are so drained, free from trying to please. If I cannot emotionally regulate , If can’t take care of myself? how can i take care of my kids. They are learning from me. like I learned from my parents. well I’m gonna break the curse. I’m not gonna do it anymore. Thank you for saying see you next time and continue Thank you.Danish I am listening to you🙏🏻✨🌙🕊️💚🌹🦅🦌🌳🦉🐦‍⬛👑🐘💛

[@kristinemcmahon8591]

I also thank my sister for sending me this video and I needed to hear it. It’s easy to go back to the par of thinking you always had clicking on your video put me back into perspective. Thank you again.🙏🏻💛✨🌙🕊️💚

[@flowers6576]

Sounds like you've got it figured out! I wish you the best in loving yourself and your children! ✌️

[@GoodVibes-mv6qq]

Yess . I m there these days . I learn this after watching ur vdos .. thank you .. feeling much better .. i m no longer only a painful heart . 😢

[@sitascott8446]

Moving on now. I defended myself for the last time, several weeks ago.

[@rebeccak315]

Same 💛

[@elz4541]

Me too

[@dbillie985]

It was hard I wanted to keep our family together but everything you have said has happened and now I'm here.

[@dawnmist2259]

That is exactly where I’m at with a nasty sibling.

[@yeahrightwhatever]

Sibling? How? That sounded familiar to my situation.

[@Valerie-uq6cb]

Perfectly said as always. I put myself first, finally, divorced him and left him face down in his own mess. I constantly ignore the hoover attempts. I am safe now but I feel like I will live in fear of that demon for the rest of my life in this earth. God delivered me from him and I am so grateful. But my recovery is extremely slow and sometimes I feel like I will never heal. It becomes a very lonely world after this type of torment and abuse.

[@flowers6576]

It would've been even lonelier, with even more abuse and torment, if you had stayed in the relationship!

[@pattylong6014]

Yes! It only took me 40 years to get here.

[@arleneandrea3584]

Yes sir, this is definitely one of the tools I’ve been using changing the mindset as though they don’t exist. Forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forward to the things that are ahead.

[@patriciacole8773]

Exodus 20:8-11 KJV is reminding us of Genesis 2:2&3

[@lynlinkous3829]

Thank you! I did walk away physically. I was afraid for my life, but I still struggle with the psychological damage.