The Four Stages of Living in Italy

In this video, I share the four stages of living in Italy.
Whatever part of Italy you plan to move to, I can guarantee that you'll experience at least one of these stages at some point in your journey. So if you plan to move to Italy in 2024 or beyond, this my friends is essential preparation for you.
NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEEK, SUBSCRIBE! bit.ly/MsBritaly
** CHECK OUT MY NEW SALERNO TRAVEL GUIDE **
My Insider Guide to Salerno - a 46 page Digital Travel Guide with everything you need to know for your trip to Salerno:
msbritaly.com/travel-guides
* VIDEO CHAPTERS *
00:00 Introduction
00:48 Stage One
02:42 Stage Two
04:48 Stage Three
07:37 Stage Four
11:26 Reflections
* VIDEOS I MENTION *
* LISTEN TO MY NEW PODCAST - LESSONS FROM THE BOOT *
podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
* SIGN UP TO MY FREE NEWSLETTER *
msbritaly.com
* BROWSE MY SHOP **
msbritaly.myspreadshop.net/
* MY BOOK*
Wake up to your Worth -
www.amazon.com/Wake-Your-Wort...
* FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM*
/ msbritaly
* ENQUIRY EMAILS *
[e-mail]
---------
WHO I AM:
Hi I’m Claire, aka Ms Britaly! In 2018, I decided I wanted to change my life and relocate to Italy. I didn't know anyone there, I didn't speak the language and I had only visited the country twice before. Just eight months after I had made this decision, I packed up my suitcases and moved solo from London to Italy, embarking on my very first Expat experience. On paper it sounds completely bonkers but in reality it was the making of me.
On this channel I share with you the beauty and reality of everyday life, here in South Italy. I also share insider tips for visiting South Italy, so that you can get the most out of your Italian experience!

[@MsBritaly]

**Check out my new Digital Travel Guide for Salerno** A 46 page Guide with everything you need to know for your trip to Salerno! msbritaly.com/travel-guides

[@marcioandreazzi6223]

This is the same everywhere you move to and land to reality. But if you focus on the positive the experience will be great, otherwise will be always awful, even in heaven.

[@MsBritaly]

Indeed - our perspective is EVERYTHING

[@yvanapantino273]

I lived in Italy for 20 years and enjoyed all of it. I never went through any of the stages you describe. I was in the flow and not concerned about bureaucracy or what anybody else was doing. What you are describing is a bit like the stages some couples in a marriage go through. Sometimes, we outgrow the marriage unable to recognise it, which can lead to negative physical and psychological symptoms. The most intuitive of us know that our higher self is nudging us to change ourselves when there is no joy, in order to express new interests and passions. Stagnation is like death and given we are individually creators of our own reality, one has to know when to move on without necessarily having to go through the 4 stages. When I left Italy, I had nothing but positivity in my mind about the country and people.

[@MsBritaly]

I’m so glad that you had such a wonderful experience. As I acknowledged in this video, we are all different and not everyone will experience all of these stages.

[@FighterFred]

I stayed in Italy for a year as grad student, and it was a similar experience. The climate, food etc were great but as an organized Swede I got very frustrated with the chaos and bureaucracy and was very happy to leave. I think it's easier to live in a modern society as you cannot get back wasted time. That the Italians are very local didn't matter as I was not interested in people anyway. So favored places are Switzerland, Germany, Florida, Dubai, Singapore, Japan.

[@MsBritaly]

Yes - it’s an experience here for sure.

[@sarahferrara4770]

Stage 3, I’ve been living here for 4 years and I’ve been forever stuck in stage 3. We moved with my husband’s job so it wasn’t really my dream. Italians often ask if I like life here, so that only fuels more comparisonitis!!!

[@Rob-yu1lw]

Where are you living??? Do you speak Italian?? If you get to know someone in your region you'll be wondering why you were feeling like that. I know it's very hard, but once you get to know the way of life here you'll be happy 😊

[@MsBritaly]

It takes time and especially if it wasn’t a decision of yours entirely. I think it is about embracing the situation for what it is and trying to make the best of it

[@paulschipper9428]

I came to live in the UK from Italy when my Dad's job brought us here. For me the hardest stage was at the very beginning, not speaking the language was a massive obstacle. It's only when you have full command of a language that you can start to truly understand and appreciate the completely different mindset of a country - and you will need to understand that, if you are to successfully integrate. No country is perfect, the way I've always thought of it is is that some things are better over here and other things are better over there. What makes the difference is what is more important to you; things like difficult bureaucracy and great weather versus easy bureaucracy and bad weather for example. All in all living in a different country is a positive and mind-opening experience; in the vast majority of cases, I'd recommend it, especially for young people. Most comparable European countries are quite similar in their ways of life, none of the cultural differences are insurmountable, learn to embrace the differences and you'll do just fine.

[@MsBritaly]

Wonderful words - thank you!

[@paulschipper9428]

@@MsBritaly 🙂

[@fabianpatrizio2865]

I lived in Japan for 5 years....same stages exist everywhere you go😊

[@MsBritaly]

Indeed!

[@nickynicks251]

I totally recognize those 4 stages and I think they apply to all countries. I moved from the UK to the Netherlands and although I am Dutch I went through those 4 stages. Now I am fine, but it has taken 12 years. I also want to tell you how much I admire you and how much you inspire me. I would love to invite you for a holiday in the Netherlands.

[@MsBritaly]

Thank you so much! I’ve never been to the Netherlands so maybe it’s something I can arrange!

[@nickynicks251]

​@@MsBritaly Nice, I have subscribed to your newsletter with my e-mail and youtube name

[@MsBritaly]

Thank you!

[@user-kz5cw2gj3w]

Its like the four stages of coming down off of pure fantasy into all the complex, positives and negatives, of life anywhere on the planet. It never gets all positive anywhere.

[@MsBritaly]

Of course - relatable to all parts of the world.

[@k.e.becquer4681]

I lived in Northern Italy for eight years. It was not a great time. Many people I have spoken to with my same experience all agree, Italians are arrogant, at least in the North. And as a friend of mine, American but with 100% Italian ancestry told me, "Italians are tribal people. They mix with their family and their friends from school/uni, that's it." Actually it is VERY difficult to get real Italian friends, unless you're in a relationship or get married into an Italian family.

[@shelleylarose]

I am not to worried about making friends, I enjoy peace that comes with solitude, I think I would be very happy in Italy, I want to retire there, somewhere with a beautiful view

[@MsBritaly]

It is a challenge to form connections here and it always helps if you have common denominators - people who know other people or shared interests.

[@andrewdiprose]

@@MsBritaly yes connections are vital in Italy

[@mariako4465]

I am from Greece and I speak Italian fluently. I would like to live in Italy once in my life just for the experience. Coming from a country as Greece I feel like it won't be so "shocking", but still I wonder if it would be better than Greece.

[@MsBritaly]

It all depends on your personal circumstances and perspective. Either way it will be a moment of personal growth

[@billycosta3203]

It's the same with lovers, couples, friends, jobs... when we accept ourselves and others life gets better... there's no doubt you are a teacher!

[@MsBritaly]

Haha yes it’s true

[@antoniasparano2251]

All stages are true! You nailed it. I’m beyond the fourth stage so may have to add a few more 😆😆😆

[@MsBritaly]

Ahaha I’m curious to know more

[@jonlilley2832]

I lived in Japan for nearly 18 years and went through all of these stages, but found that over the years, homesickness leaked steathfully in and I ended up returning home. I wasn't aware of it, but I everso gradually started thinking about family and friends and at the end, I wasn't even quite sure what I was feeling. It wasn't the travel itch. I honestly needed to come home. My parents were aging and I felt I needed to be there for them. Life abroad is great, but living at home isn't bad either.

[@MsBritaly]

Yes, I agree that when you live abroad there is always a part of you that stays in your birth country.

[@beckymastache]

Thank you for this thought provoking video. 😊

[@MsBritaly]

You’re welcome!

[@stefanomacone8613]

Miss BritItaly says many truths, she relate a real experience. But I think that the great part of what she says could be considered as something general for every person that for some reason decide to move to live abroad in another country. You can pass through the 4 stages everywhere, I think many Italians that move to UK had exactly the same feelings. I had an experience too but I didn't pass for any of these stages ( I was lucky) only for two reasons: I knew the language, absolutely the most important thing! More than the money. For me was easy to move, rent the house, start to study and work and no problem with bourocracy (except the fact that the bourocracy is a problem itself all over the world 😂). The second thing was I didn't have any expectations: "let's go and see what we have there"; no romanticism, no idealism, this permitted me to appreciate immediately the good things and not be deluded by the bad things, consequently no comparison with my home. And this is I think the worst problem for all the people that decide to go to have a romantic vision of the place than an high expectation. Many people especially from anglosphere (US,Uk,Aus,NZ) came to Italy with the stereotype of Dolce Vista, which often appears in American movies. But to have a holiday in Florence for a week is not the same as living in Florence for years. Un Abbraccio

[@MsBritaly]

Indeed. These stages apply to the majority of experiences abroad.

[@BrandonProfeta]

I love this video! Well done! Buon San Valentino! My goal is to live in the Honeymoon stage for ever. So how will I do that when I move to Italy? I don't know, but I have a few guesses. I officially became an Italian Citizen. So this will remove some stress and uncertainty of the bureaucracy of VISAs. I will have enough money to not need a job. So I won't need to interact with reality nearly as often. I will get rid of everything I own. So I won't have the stress of having possessions own me and dictate to me what I can and can't do. I have been studying the language for about 6 years now. So I've got a head start on removing stress and anxiety about communication. I plan on living in a different city every month, all over Europe, depending on the season and festivals. I believe this will keep "tapping" the refresh button on the Honeymoon stage, because there will always be new experiences, new stuff to do and learn and in my humble opinion, there won't be a lot of time to give a fuck about stuff that doesn't really matter anyway. I could be wrong about everything though. We'll see in about a year or so.

[@frankalfano1409]

Just curious Brandon why are you doing this? My uncle in Italy says what after 50 years you don't like America anymore. Lol. Well yes for some reason I'm more anxious in western New York here. While my third month in Italy I was so relaxed mentally. Granted I lived in my mother's house and ate her food. If I did what your thinking selling everything I have here I'd be fine over there for a good amount of time. My main thing is to seek contentment, it seems like America is all about money and having more and more of whatever. Ehh the older I get the more simple things I appreciate.

[@paulschipper9428]

Sounds like fun!

[@MsBritaly]

It sounds like you have a solid foundation for life here which will absolutely help

[@BrandonProfeta]

@@frankalfano1409 The main thing for me is that I'm never as happy as I am in Italy. All else being equal, I'd rather exist there. It's not that America is bad, and Houston is a great international city, but I don't care for hyper consumerism. In Houston you have to have a car and there's a lot of traffic. I drive on the widest freeway in America, to get to work. I can't wait to not have or need a car anymore. There's also always a million things to do and see in Europe. Everywhere has problems, but it's easier to deal with the inevitable problems while eating Italian food or drinking a spritz in a piazza at aperitivo time. Also, the NY Stock exchange opens at 3:30pm Roma time. Penso di volere una semplice Dolce Vita.

[@HJones-pi5bs]

This is very good advice thank you! I am sure that this applies to most relocations. I am not planning to move to Italy but I will use this advice when I move to South America. Thanks!

[@MsBritaly]

Indeed - I think it’s the same for any country too. Thank you

[@nspires1]

Now that I’ve lived here for the past 4 years, I can relate to all four of these stages, but in Portugal instead. There is little difference.

[@MsBritaly]

Yes - it is something I think that is relatable in many countries

[@pile333]

Pure wisdom.

[@MsBritaly]

Thank you!

[@quelodequelo]

Italy is a cruise ship. You have a week or two of holidays, then you become member of the crew: you can be happily part of the luxury corridors but at the same time this beautiful ship need to sail and you must be in charge of something. There are few golden tickets and that price it's called high level family with a huge heritage. They possess bars, restaurants, shops or particular charge positions that are passed between generations. This is apparently not right, but we are an ancient empire, we understand very well how the history works and so do britons (real estate...->real

[@MsBritaly]

This analogy is very clever!

[@user-bt4lc9lo1b]

Thank you for the heads up ,I am leaving UK and is where my soul wills

[@MsBritaly]

Amazing! Go after your dreams

[@janetlombardi2314]

I haven't gotten there yet, but I will find out, no doubt. Thank you 😊

[@MsBritaly]

You’re welcome!

[@HelenBeeYoga]

Great video. I can apply all these to moving to Costa Rica too. I think I am Stage 3 at the moment, coming up for my 2 year anniversary and that’s made me think a lot. I was also in the job like you. Were you Met? I was YR, JC and HT.

[@MsBritaly]

I'm glad it can help! Yes, I was LX.

[@glennmorrissey2529]

In regard to Italy, the thing that blows me away mostly about the place is the total lack of care about litter, they throw everything on the street and as far as I can tell they never pick up their rubbish and it ruins the vist of the country, and not just the big cities. Before anyone gets upset I have travelled from north to south and east to west and achieved this by rding my motor cycle all over in the past three years first time in Italy was 1999 and I have returned around six times to visit. I return again this year 8th June 2024. The level of rubbish on the streets is really very sad, the Italians don't seem to appreciate or understand what they have got. I know other countries are the same but it is a shame that even the younger generations of Italians don't seem to get it regarding littering and disposal of rubbish. Palermo, Naples, Salerno, Sardinia, Siena, Florence are the bigger ones but even small beachside places in Sardinia were not well looked after, it's a shame but I still like riding through the place.

[@MsBritaly]

Yes, rubbish is a big problem here although I do think you notice it more in some cities compared to others. For example, Salerno in my opinion and experience is much cleaner than Palermo but of course it's a different sized city. Enjoy your upcoming trip!

[@ibenglish]

First off I really like that tattoo on your hand. Very classy! Nice thought out video and thank you for the detailed perspective. I have not been there yet but plan to buy in a couple of years to have a second home. 😇👍🏻

[@MsBritaly]

Thank you so much! What a lovely goal!

[@frankdemascio4808]

I thank you so very much for your video I will keep it in mind. I my self have never been to Italy or Europe but will be coming soon. Additionally I am not influenced by social media aside from have never participated in said stuff. To private of a person

[@MsBritaly]

It’s good to be on your own path!

[@arslongavitabrevis5136]

Hello Miss Britaly! You look like the winner of a beauty pageant! Not only that, but your voice is beautiful too. I like very much your sensible take on the subject and the nice way you present it. Your observations are very clever and realistic. Your viewers should pay close attention to them. I am ethnically 100% Italian but I was born and bred in Argentina. Thirty years ago I moved to Australia where I had relatives. Since my English was very good and I am an outgoing fellow I did not have any problems integrating; besides the Aussies are wonderful people, very friendly and informal. Why I am telling you all this? Because I believe that a lot depends on the attitude of the person who migrates to another country. I lived in Italy for almost a year in 2005 and it was a fairly nice experience, although sometimes I got very annoyed and frustrated with the way Italians do things (In some ways I am more German or British than Italian 😁) Having said that, I love the Italian culture and lifestyle and I hope to return for good. I have just subscribed and I am looking forward to more videos! Ti auguro una bellissima giornata e buona fortuna! Cordiali saluti, Claudio.

[@MsBritaly]

Grazie mille! Yes, attitude and mindset is so important

[@spruzzal67]

Comunque se giù nel mezzogiorno se hai uno stipendio da 1500 euro in sù stai veramente bene non ti manca niente certo la burocrazia del sistema a volte i servizi non sono al top ma vuoi mettere ?? il mare clima cibo arte per me è veramente tantissima roba.

[@MsBritaly]

Si tratta sempre di prospettiva

[@glorgau]

I am an American. I define the space and people around me! The world bends to me and my mindset. ;-)

[@MsBritaly]

Ahahhaha that typical stereotypical image

[@yvanapantino273]

Absolutely right. We are all the co-creators of our own reality. There is nobody else to blame if things are not perfect. Ppl are loathe to point the finger towards themselves and take responsibility for how they see and experience life. Pity, bc life could be one long honeymoon if lived more consciously.

[@dinosilone7613]

I’m trying to correlate what you’ve said with my experiences, and I just can’t do it. Part of it is that the first three stages you describe are the result of having made the transition in a state of total ignorance. If you’re moving to a new country, it makes sense to spend some time studying it - first of all, becoming fluent in the language, understanding how taxes work, what the job market is like in your field in the town/city you decide to live, what it’s like for foreigners, what things cost (housing, food, transportation, etc.) You also have to accept that, if you don’t speak fluently, you’re going to have trouble. (Imagine how an immigrant to your home country feels … it’s not easy being a stranger in a strange land). You need to deal with things like permission to work BEFORE you arrive, and honestly, unless you work remotely for a foreign company, it’s going to be very hard to find work. Italy has high unemployment, and many young university graduates have to emigrate to find work in their fields. At the end of the day, though, it’s a PLACE, like any other place. It’s got advantages and disadvantages, and you need to understand what they are and decide if the trade-offs make sense for you. It’s best to do that BEFORE you make your move. That allows you to skip stages 1-4 and arrive already in stage 5: An Italian.

[@MsBritaly]

Firstly I want to thank you for your detailed comment and in taking the time to do so. 🙏🏻 In summary because I do believe that we are all different, I believe that research provides a solid base but doesn’t in any way replace the experience itself. You can do all the research under the sun but until you are living this life day in and day out, you have no real idea how you will cope. I also want to add that these stages are a natural process - as is life - we don’t immediately arrive at our destination and neither do I think we immediately arrive at the stage of living life like an Italian.

[@jonathansargent6224]

I have not moved to Italy but appreciate your insights. I have been twice most recently Sicily in May. I have looked into the various financial aspects of being a resident which seemed pretty complicated coming from the US. Would you be open to doing a video about how you navigated the tax laws when you moved?

[@MsBritaly]

For me it was different because I lived in the UK which was part of Europe at that time and so there were reciprocal tax agreements in place etc. I recommend @Rafael di Furia - a fellow KZbinr who has done some very good videos especially about taxes

[@jonathansargent6224]

@@MsBritaly thank you for the information!

[@craftbrewer4032]

@@MsBritaly his tax info is outdated, and he moved to Portugal. Best info comes from a tax professional, not KZbin

[@craftbrewer4032]

just remember, the USA taxes people based on citizenship not residency. So unless you renounce you citizenship you will forever have to file taxes in the US. One of only two countries in the world that tax this way

[@MsBritaly]

Yes - he has moved but there is still a lot of useful advice in his videos

[@karl5070]

Ciao Claire, commento per la prima volta anche se ti seguo da un bel po'. Vorrei sottolineare alcune cose del tuo discorso: 1)prima di tutto mi hanno colpito due cose che sembrano slegate, ma che secondo me non lo sono; precisamente ciò che dici al minuto 8:46 e al minuto 9:48 riguardo all'essere esausta e all'etica del lavoro. Tra i due minuti sembra tu abbia cambiato discorso ma in realtà non è un caso che siano in successione. Lo spiego con un esempio personale: ho messo tutto me stesso in un lavoro per l'università, sarebbe potuto essere perfetto, ma a causa di altre complicazioni inutili e imprevisti, il tutto non è andato come sperato. Mi ha reso inoltre esausto, frustrato e arrabbiato. La preparazione, l'impegno, la qualità traspaiono ancora da quel lavoro pur non essendo perfetto come sarebbe potuto essere. Spero di aver reso l'idea con questo esempio. Il punto è che questo sistema schiaccia per primi gli italiani e l'impegno messo, che traspare in un modo o in un altro, è messo per controbilanciare la continua minaccia di complicazioni e imprevisti. 2) penso che tu non faccia il paragone tra il Regno Unito e l'Italia, ma tra Londra e l'Italia del sud o Palermo, forse questo crea davvero una discrepanza. Mi tengo le considerazioni a riguardo per un altro video, ma diciamo che molte situazioni critiche ci sono anche nel Regno Unito, dalla questione spazzatura ad altre (Ascolto spesso lbc radio).

[@MsBritaly]

Grazie per aver condiviso la tua esperienza. Il Regno Unito è imperfetto e io sono la prima persona ad ammetterlo

[@MsBritaly]

Which of these stages can you relate to? Comment below and let me know!

[@LeftToWrite006]

I wonder if you'll find you go through other stages going forward from here.

[@Alessandro-pi7bw]

La tua esperienza riguarda la Sicilia ma te lo dico francamente la vita li, in Calabria e anche in Campania è davvero più complicata rispetto alle altre regioni d’Italia. Scendo spesso dal Veneto x lavoro eppure ogni volta mi chiedo: ma perché qui le cose migliorano cosi lentamente?

[@MsBritaly]

Sì è un peccato

[@relocatetoItaly]

Its not the work ethic thats making you tired. Its trying so hard to be understood respected and accepted thats exhausting

[@MsBritaly]

Yes I hear you!

[@carlettadelucialarsen9398]

😂😂 how right you are.

[@andreiabovezfold7247]

Took me 12 years to get to the stage 3. Stage 1 has been no longer than 2 years.

[@MsBritaly]

Everyone is different for sure.

[@mattmaur6321]

Are you of italian descent? Appearance-wise you really look like an average italian to me

[@M.C.K.111]

Italian of the stereotypes, that means italian from the south of the country! In my family, all blonde hair, blue or green eyes, husband 6.4, son 6.1, daughter 5.9.. The same all relatives, friends... And all 100% Italians!

[@MsBritaly]

Ah not that I know of.

[@craftbrewer4032]

your stage 3 is the very reason we're making the change. What you're describing as "great" we see as shallow and empty

[@MsBritaly]

Everything is perspective and experience for sure

[@billycosta3203]

Latin behavior is so different to anglo-saxon...

[@MsBritaly]

Yes there are differences

[@hjm5885]

it's enough to get away from her accent, i'd go anywhere

[@MsBritaly]

Ahhaha head to the moon 🚀

[@andreiabovezfold7247]

You need to be more specific. Now only immigrants could understand you.

[@andrewdiprose]

?

[@krustyc7057]

🌹