The Hobbit YTP: An Unexpected Catastrophe

[@baguettegott3409]

Oh damn, I somehow missed the "YTP" in the title and thought this was a video essay about why the hobbit movies were really bad (as in, a catastrophe). Man was I confused for the first one and a half minutes of this, before I checked the title again! I watched it anyway, and had a great time, even though it wasn't what I had expected :)

[@narcleptik]

The movies were amazing except near the end of the series

[@DustGamezX]

You could say you went in for an "unexpected" journey....hah....hah....

[@tiaaaron3278]

@@narcleptik The Dwarves were made so dumb in Hobbit trilogy.

[@_Sylvain_]

Sit doooown!

[@tiaaaron3278]

@Rather Chilling Gimli was a buffoon in books. He actually got into a fight with Éomer because Éomer wouldn't declare Galadriel the fairest of all. Gimli nearly sabotaged their mission in Edoras by nearly killing Gríma just because the Wormtongue called Gaaldriel a sorceress. At some point, Gimli complains about being useless, which means he did jackshit in Amon Hen. After Gandalf's fall, Gimli wanted to see Durin's Stone, not caring at all the orcs ar won their trials and the Fellowship needed to run away. There are countless examples of Gimli making a fool of himself in books. Also his friendship with Legolas sucks. His obsession with Galadriel is creepy. Overall, he's super unlikable. In fact, Jackson's version of Gimli was a much needed improvement. Gimli doesn't hinder the mission in Moria, he kicks ass, he helped Aragorn in Amon Hen, he saved Aragorn in Helm's Deep, he has a personality, his love for Galadriel is pure and adorable and not creepy, his friendship with Legolas is genuine and real. Keep in mind Gimli's screentime is probably half the screentime of Hobbit dwarves. And what are the dwarves in Hobbit? Thirteen interchangeable fools? Jackson literally had a three-hour-long prologue to the story in order to flesh out these bunch and all of it is wasted on bullshit. Twenty mintues in Bag-End were wasted to show how rude and nasty they are. Ten minutes were wasted in Rivendell to show how rude and nasty the dwarves are. Thirty minutes wasted on terrible comic relief and we still have zero understanding of these guys as individuals. If that's not an insult to dwarves, I don't know what is. It's Hobbit dwarves that are used for cheap storytelling including bad comic relief. What the hell is the dwarfish pride?! Terrible table manners? Excessive eating habits? Zero self-awareness? Kíli's shitty romance? Underdeveloped characters? Thorin's terrible whining? Excessive greed and no redemptive quality? Awful action scenes? Inconsistent power feats? Half-dimensional personalities? Thorin's repetitive whining and garbage angst isn't pride. It's bad writing. Thorin is a terrible character. His arc is unclear, his redemption is ruined and he never earned the praise he's given. Also he's a terrible commander. He splits company in Ravenhill, the enemy's lair. He fights Azog like a dumbass. It was in the books where he had a proper, beautiful end. The movies completely ruined it. Then there is freaking Fíli and Kíli. The audience forgot those two were supposed to be Thorin's nephew. There was no moment of genuine affection between the three of them. All those memes about Fíli being forgotten are legit as hell. The only half-decent dwarf characters in The Hobbit trilogy were Balin and James Nesbitt.

[@george52066]

I'M TRYING TO ROB YOU!

[@barbaro267]

+Prince of Epirus **chucks a grenade into the house**

[@dr.bright6272]

@@barbaro267 good luck robbing him when all his shits blown up eh?

[@adamchavez7095]

I lost it when Gandalf peeks through the window saying "I'm trying to rob you!"

[@Ian1329]

I want to C Thorin scream DRAGONN! at Bilbo's party

[@turnburn26]

"Do we know each other?" *DWALIN*

[@truesoulghost2777]

He traveled north to a meeting of DWALIN.

[@dr.bright6272]

I guess they know each other

[@Lord_Of_The_WhoLock]

*D W A L I N*

[@ziggalicious]

"we appear to be one KILI short." "he is late is all, he traveled north to a meeting of DWALIN."

[@thepurplecrabapocalypse8953]

I loved that!

[@james925]

''Shit he's here.... Gandalf, NOPE you can't come in you've come to the wrong house, (Door Closes)... I am betrayed!!'' completely lost it

[@tiaaaron3278]

"I am betrayed!" Thorin in every movie

[@dovdorith8148]

XDDD me too

[@coldasifneveraskedthemoon7401]

That was so good😂😂❤️

[@VeryOldEngine]

THAT'LL BE THE DOOR

[@NH-nv4tj]

THE DOOR.

[@TheFiercestCreatureInTheWorld]

+criggle190 THE DOOR.

[@NH-nv4tj]

WildKatGirl Miaow THAT'LL BE THE DWALIN.

[@hauxiii3320]

+criggle190 then the censored xD

[@kriseriksen7706]

HODOR.

[@Tobo226]

2:00 Can you imagine two dwarfs just walking in his house and start banging right in front of bilbo 😂😂

[@GRasputin91]

I'm sorry to interrupt..

[@fahrenheit2101]

"You're shorter and wider than last we met"

[@creepycasta9430]

Oh damn dude, don’t remind me of the extremest of gay chicken duels ever to be had. The noices. The almost constant strained sounds of “no homo” Never seen a dwarf mini man handle a bloke thrice his own size. Have something much better now, dwarf fucking in ASMR format. Fuck a cursed sentence

[@BBBHuey]

5:17 I completely lost it at 'Mr Faggins' XD Brilliant!

[@rehow9981]

He looks more like burger

[@michaelaaron-genisys]

"Tell me Mr. Faggins 😂😂

[@andreamorim7365]

"I'm afraid... burger... got any chips?" ahahah

[@polari5207]

sit down

[@laureline4774]

I bust out laughing EVERY TIME at that part.

[@MRiizvii786]

The screaming "BILBO" and "BAGGINS" omg this was on point 10/10

[@MX.Unicorn1999]

rx that should of been in the movie

[@josefmilly]

5:29 They all just suddenly start roasting Bilbo My sides have been obliterated

[@nolovedivision3882]

Joseph Lim he looks more like a *BURGUH*

[@krisnorge5830]

Gandalf at the windows is scary as fuck ! "Bilbo..." "BILBO!!!" "I'm Gandalf." "I'm trying to rob you!" Somewhere in a ytp with Gandalf looking through the windows there needs to be a "Good morning!"

[@SuperSlashLesPaul]

You can find it in the YTP "an incomprehensible journey"

[@whisperedflame6952]

Can't tell which is better. This one or an incomprehensible journey.

[@mydarkterrors]

without doubt, both are just brilliant :D

[@The_Chosen_Heretic]

I'm in love with both.

[@Frserthegreenengine]

I find An Incomprehensible Journey funnier, but this is still brilliant.

[@fullanalysis93]

WhisperedFlame Incomprehensible Journey is way funnier, but this one has some good parts

[@RawkHawkRockin]

Incomprehensible journey has some great parts, but it contains too much looping for my tastes. This one is more consistent in my opinion.

[@Nattraks]

8:38 "You'll have a tale or two to tell to two two your own tale tell tale to tale to two two tell your own tale or tale or to tell your own BILBOOOO!" "Can you promise that I will come back?" "hahahha...NOH!"

[@Maesterful]

Thank you so much

[@Bloodletter8]

"That's what I thought."

[@NH-nv4tj]

Excuse me, that is a doilie, not a DOILIE. But it's full of holes! It's supposed to look like that, is crochet. But it's full of holes! It's supposed to look like that that, it's crochet. But it's full of holes! It's supposed to look like that. Holes! Crochet. Holes! Crochet! Holes! Crrrocheeet. A widawonawidawonawidawonawidawona Holes!

[@John190assman]

+criggle190 *anger infestivities*

[@John190assman]

***** Feel allright just let me shit quietly for a moment.

[@mrzubwolfer]

(THX theme!)

[@TheFiercestCreatureInTheWorld]

+John190 the homicidal maniac You've been shitting quietly for far too long!

[@krychur4956]

HE SAID HE'S AN EXPERT!!! HEHAY!!!

[@polari5207]

now the key is mine now hahahahaja

[@dr.bright6272]

What good is an expert when there's no way into the mountain?

[@marcogypaetus9607]

@@dr.bright6272 That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true.

[@dr.bright6272]

@@marcogypaetus9607 there's no way into the mountain.

[@marcogypaetus9607]

@@dr.bright6272 That is not true

[@ZMonsterOfDarkness]

Good morning. Good morning. Good morniiiiiiing.

[@spootot]

I'm Gandalf :D

[@Metal-Man-2000]

+Taurus Bear Good morning

[@LoathingEditor]

+Joe Ball BILBO BAGGINS!!!!!!

[@ZeDerpADerp]

+Loathing Editor I'm trying to rob you!

[@LoathingEditor]

+ZeDerpinator Oh.

[@supermovies4625]

"He said he's an experet! hehey!!!"

[@Paragon13]

Supermovies "No, no. I've never stolen a thing in my life." "He said he's an expert! Hehey!"

[@Yujin27Gameplay]

"Ay the wild is no place for gentlefolk who can neither fight nor fook themselves" "HE SAYS HE'S AN EXPERT!" "hehey!"

[@dr.bright6272]

What good is an expert when there's no way into the mountain?

[@pornhub1598]

@@dr.bright6272 there is no fucking way into the mountain

[@dr.bright6272]

@@pornhub1598 I agree

[@01halle]

There's always a censored gay bit hahahahahaha

[@allaltitudeproductions454]

as soon as i saw "censored" i just like immediately clicked until it was gone . . . and then went back to listen to it and i regret it so much now

[@rassest]

THEY just had do didint they

[@reallyannoyingguy6625]

Not Only Gay, But Alabama, They Are Brothers, You Know

[@ethanii7544]

_oh now fill it up brother_

[@noalina8501]

Haha😂

[@shibamashups]

There is NO WAY into the Mountain!

[@Szibenwaro]

+Peter Walker There is no FUCKING way into the Mountain!

[@JClayton1994]

CHEESE KNIFE

[@Billy-gq1yf]

+JClayton 1994 good mourning

[@FreedomPuppy]

+JClayton 1994 That'll be the door.

[@Billy-gq1yf]

+JClayton 1994 What is that sad song called, your the only channel i've seen use it

[@nth4512]

7:36 "Think furnace with holes" That should really of been: "Think furnace with... cheese knife!"

[@dr.bright6272]

@@rudyelf this is Cheese Knife, a kickass blade foraged by Elvis

[@FatherKapnos]

@@dr.bright6272 i prefer the "Ham cleaver"

[@arvedbohn6133]

3:01 "Mr. Gandalf!" "Hmmm?" "A little glass of red wine?" *"NO!!!"*

[@narcleptik]

MR GANDALF

[@Thebrinkofchaos1]

"He was so large he could fart" *died*

[@joshuaharney1181]

Well he could

[@rehow9981]

​@@joshuaharney1181 I do believe you made that up

[@THEdominicmitchell]

when gandalf swears it's sound so natural. could you get us some more fucking light. Thorin cuntshield

[@Rodan727]

littletubs dwalin

[@tjsmith8348]

Shit. He's here.

[@Lyphian92]

+Tj Smith Good, I thought he will never cum

[@dr.bright6272]

Now Gandalf won't be able to keep the key he stole.

[@truesoulghost2777]

@Bilal Khalid lol

[@hewhositsuponfroggychair5722]

*Closes door on Thorin* "I am betrayed!"

[@purpleguy3207]

1:01 "I'm trying to rob you"

[@aztec-gold8904]

"i'm gandalf!" "i'm trying to rob you!" of course i'll let you in! :D

[@aztec-gold8904]

And the crochet arguement had me in tears xDD

[@WingedEternitys]

“I’m afraid!” “Burger.” “Got any chips?” **intense farting** 7:22

[@Veyron722skyhook]

"Sit down!"

[@kingokane]

It was never explained, what were they doing in Bilbo's kitchen?

[@JClayton1994]

+kingokane Having fun.

[@Maesterful]

Destroying the plumbing

[@samhamsord7942]

2:00

[@dr.bright6272]

Tracking mud, pillaging, all but destroying the plumbing and more

[@marcogypaetus9607]

Blunting knives, bending forks, smashing bottles and burning corks, chipping glasses and cracking plates.

[@shoaibdayaji4679]

This was a sick vid man the censored part made me lmao

[@RZIisRaw]

Its not a JClayton1994 KZbin Poop without censored fucking going on xD

[@emboenthusiast3213]

"Bilbo BAGGINS allow me to introduce the leader of our company: Thorin cuntshield" I totally lost it😂😂😂😂

[@pureo_nikku]

"Aye, the wild is no place for gentle folk who can neither fight nor fook themselves."

[@harryemmott8597]

"That'll be the door" "at your sus-eh" " di-dee, di-dee" and many more classic line from this drug fueled hallucination...

[@thornwalker4655]

The censored part hahahahahah xD

[@chaing-kai-shek2862]

+Rock Crusader ikr

[@ohdamn4583]

Mahaw haaaa OH OH OH OH THAT'L BE THE DOOR

[@wasiegwebu3371]

+Heather King LOL :D

[@Macintoshman9]

OH OH OH

[@yourmom-yv2xk]

Dyson Thornwalker OH

[@dr.bright6272]

The status of the kitchen seems to be Bilbo's main concern in the first 4 minutes

[@nycot107]

"We appear to be one Kili short" "Oh they're quite a Kili gathering, once you get used to them"

[@TheShortsCraft]

"You've been sh*tting quietly for far too long" 😂😂 excellent work this was Hillarious!

[@kururin55]

The belching scene had me in tears. Good job man.

[@Inwaagh]

man, you're simply EXPERT

[@JClayton1994]

He said I'm an EXPERT! HeHeeee!

[@dr.bright6272]

@@JClayton1994 got any chips?

[@nolovedivision3882]

JClayton 1994 sHiT he is here

[@Isla-er1yu]

*Creeper appears at the door* ''Nope, you can't come in. You've got the wrong house.'' *Shuts door in Creepers face* *Sad piano plays*

[@JClayton1994]

+Isla Hansen I did have a very similar idea in mind when editing this xD

[@Isla-er1yu]

Oh cool XD

[@boristhedoggo9690]

4:56 Thorin: Gandalf. Bilbo: Nope! You can't come in. You've come to the wrong house! (Shuts door) Thorin: I've been betrayed!

[@ChaseMC215]

Bilbo is quite a dick

[@jarrettwhitlow8700]

Gotta love the beginning where bilbo’s so high off that pipe that he’s up in the stratosphere, and he just looks straight through Gandalf and walks away

[@bofurthedwarf]

Who cares if one more light

[@z3nr3x18]

BILBO BAGGINS!

[@crimfright7028]

"That is a doily, not a doily!" "But it's full of holes!" "It's supposed to look like that, it's crochet" "But it's full of holes!" "It's supposed to look like that, it's crochet" "But it's full of holes!" "Crochet" "Holes" "Crochet" "Holes" "Crochet" "Holes"

[@fiends8908]

Oh, and a wonderfulafinnawonderfulafinnawonderful game it is too! If you've got the HOLES! *ANGER INTENSIFIES*

[@Tftmt]

A copy of the book "Holes" should have showed up at some point

[@GRasputin91]

The ability to fart does not depend on one's largeness, Gandalf 🙄

[@dopeddeer1818]

”Mr Gandalf, a little glass of red wine? ”NOOOO”

[@nolovedivision3882]

*closes door* "I'V BEEN BETRAYED"

[@jamon8139]

HE SAID HE'S AN EXPERT! HEYHE!

[@WorldWalker128]

I can tell you had fun making this. I had fun watching this. Mostly. Vast majority.

[@ZTRCTGuy]

''Did you know that your great great great great great great great great great uncle was so large, he could fart?'' ''yes...'' ''Well he could!'' ''I do believe you've made that up...'' haha

[@Obidiahtrits]

“I’m trying to rob you” 😭😭😂😂

[@reginaldweasley2401]

"BILBO!!! My dear fellow, let us have a little more FUCKING light!" 05:55

[@honestlyidk6704]

It’s the “I am betrayed” that got me 😂😂😂😂

[@EeniThesian66]

Its a good Poop if my stomach hurts every 5 seconds

[@Bloodletter8]

What I like about your comment is that you could be talking about KZbin Poop or actually taking a shit and it's accurate wither way.

[@drip9210]

@@Bloodletter8 what the fuck tho lmao

[@sf7809]

Bilbo! I'm trying to rob you 😂😂😂 this is brilliant your so good at this 👌

[@sigma-erebus]

legend says he is still running after the horses shouting "WAIT!"

[@GioTheVax]

I always find myself coming back to this one. And one of my verbal tics which has developed is from this, randomly saying "Dwalin" and calling random things "Kili"

[@MadaraUchiha-tf3im]

"do we know each other?" "dwalin"

[@dr.bright6272]

Shortest way of saying yes if I've ever heard one

[@joeharris5420]

8:14 The famous JClayton sad scene

[@Rockislush]

Oh YESSS here we go! I've been waiting! Thanks!

[@loonygoldfish]

Omg this is exactly what I needed right now xD thank you! This is amazing!

[@beardedgreek9069]

"I am trying to rob you" *throws grenade* Alright that's it, subscribed.

[@magicmulgar7446]

The light of Durin's day shines on the entrance: *"that'll be the door"* Frodo, Sam, and Gollum arive at the Black gate: *"that'll be the door"* Gandalf gets the door to Moria open: *"that'll be the door"* The Orcs batter into Minas Tirith: *"that'll be the door"* The troll breaks into Balin's tomb: *"that'll be the door"*

[@dr.bright6272]

Looks like they found the door. It's a way into the mountain

[@ChaseMC215]

@@dr.bright6272 There is no fucking way into the mountain

[@dr.bright6272]

@@ChaseMC215 that is not entirely true

[@Navak_]

You'll have a tale or two to tell to a tailor or two too.

[@mrzubwolfer]

"So, this is the Hobbit" Thorin breaks the fourth wall, LIKE A F*CK*NG BOSS!

[@michaelaaron-genisys]

That's right, bruh 😎

[@theorisingmatrix_mouse8991]

I got my results from the doctor just now I'm a Bag In Box.

[@joshharrington861]

“I’m Gandalf! I’m trying to rob you”

[@bekkerthesokuangeldragon68]

"I'm Gandalf., i am trying to rob you..." Other guys: "AT YOUR SUSSEH"

[@psyenergy1]

Been missing you and your poops Jason Thank you!

[@StanShunpike-cs6un]

2:07 best scene

[@thepurplecrabapocalypse8953]

I love how Ori stands up and Dori just looks at Nori like, "who on earth taught him to talk like that???"

[@andrewschingel4294]

You have the best YTPs on KZbin. Keep up the good work!

[@pentatron3127]

I was just waiting for that "BILBO BAGGINNSSSSS" XD

[@CivicSTS]

6:22 I cant take it any more, I'm fuckin cryin over here

[@sandrahenriksson6257]

2:39 XD So cute but hilarious!

[@JoshuaRawson35]

Fantastic KZbin poop here,very well done in making this,this is the funniest hobbit poop I've ever seen and now I'm in stitches laughing at this,hope you make more great poops like this.kind regards Josh :),😂😂😂

[@samsterx777]

This is the best Hobbit one I've seen!

[@frautic545]

The creeper at then end tho😂

[@felixy6223]

"That'll be the door." i lost it XD

[@mitche5007]

Peter Jackson is gonna be really upset when he finds out that Gandalf is throwing live grenades into his Hobbiton sets :)

[@thenightcapnebulapod]

"Holes?" "Crochet." "Holes?" "Cro-chet." "Holes?" "Cr-o-chet." "Cheese knife?"

[@EdolasMystogan]

The beginning is basically any introvert being approached

[@erenyeager3829]

Me in a nutshell

[@hydrominousrex6124]

"he said hes an expert hhehehehehehehehheheheh"' im dead 😂

[@MsBakaProductions]

Dori just repeating mr.Gandalf in the chaos.. somehow so funny

[@bonemech5000]

"Gandalf-" "nope! You can't come in, you've come to the wrong house" "....... I am betrayed!"

[@iforgot87872]

OMG dude when Gandalf keeps showing up in the window. Also the edit at 2:58 is amazing. Sorry I didn't see this earlier! I fell out of activity in the YTP community for a while. And later Gandalf is like "When did Raping Young Boys become so important to you?" Oh my god so fucked up I lol'd.

[@thepurplecrabapocalypse8953]

I can imagine a house full of Kilis and Dwalin running the Kili only meeting

[@thepurplecrabapocalypse8953]

I always get a crack at Kilis face when thorin knocks on the door. He looks like he chewed his tongue by accident bc he was laughing too hard

[@sauronikov9254]

0:51 i lost it LOLOL!

[@Θεμις-ξ1μ]

Omg sameee

[@jokerdust4298]

5:17 Broke the fourth wall didn’t ya Thorin lol 😂

[@theorisingmatrix_mouse8991]

So many Kili's. All the Fili's died. And thorin should've been the last kili

[@narcleptik]

What?

[@lagrangepoint9386]

"The wild is no place for gentle folk who can neither fight nor fuck themselves." That is very true. It's why I stay in the city.

[@lol-tk3bt]

0:30 my introverted ass when someone tries to talk to me

[@informedconsumer5293]

Forcibly anyway

[@gnorris10]

OMG WTF did I just stumble across.............I have not laughed this hard and for so long in years. Thanks for that

[@12yearmindmovies]

5:00 I've been betrayed....

[@cornelius2227]

Gandalf showing the key to the mountain. 🗝️🗻 “Who gave you by this?” “I took it off your father. It is mine now.” *Laughter* 😄 Ahahahaha.

[@Justii5952]

1:48 *Ringing* Dwalin: That will be the Door *Ringing again* Dwalin: That will be the Door *More Ringing Again* Dwalin: The Door *Even more Ringing* Dwalin: That will be the Dwalin

[@jackcottrell2060]

"I'm Gandalf. I'm trying to rob you!"