The Human Strategy That Rewrote Galactic Warfare | Best HFY | Sci-Fi Stories

[@saparotrob7888]

Bravo! I was laughing out loud. All that was missing was a "Please hold. Your call is important to us."

[@jaydebbiefrye5420]

Lol. Please hold for the missiles, a little Muzak of the girl from Ipanema, thank you for holding were sorry for the inconvenience valued customer. Love it.

[@alexjanzen1666]

So... Humans; a more customer friendly version of the Ferengi. I can appreciate that.

[@jerryg1981]

Rules of aquisition.

[@gunmonkey1185]

Imagine Blackwater and KBR together.

[@pheonixblue01]

I couldn’t stop laughing while listening to the options. I won’t deny it

[@stulexington]

"don't worry, our supply ship will protect your main battlefleet."

[@NavyVet9702]

Then, the admiral looked over at the fleet's chief contracting officer and said, "I am sure glad you talked me into signing off on the premium package."

[@truck6859]

😄

[@tc3758400]

At least the customer service branch has improved tremendously!! I would like to see that kind of service in some of my everyday life!!🧐❤

[@oldnwise]

So do I.

[@shadowpoet4398]

That's true AGI for ya

[@NavyVet9702]

Of course, the customer service improved. That is a multi-trillion-dollar contract.

[@robertpdavenportii2908]

Extremely entertaining! Never get between a human and their profits. It is never wise to attack someone so calm, chances are they have a good reason to be so calm, cool, and collected.

[@Gr3Nd3LsBan3]

Oh by the way because your enemy attacked us they are paying the bill what would you like? Me"....uh, two of everything please?"

[@maryjackiemiller9285]

My heart likes this type of warfare. Sneaky and with options. Great story.

[@DawnAdams-d5i]

I like the tongue in cheek stories. Much more enjoyable than the talking thesaurus windbag

[@Denpachii]

Thesaurus, were they around during the Mesozoic or Jurassic?

[@shadowpoet4398]

Heh, whst do you get when you combine a space dock, orbital defense platform, manufactorum, and endless resources? A stiffy.

[@zeehero7280]

Aliens "WHY DO YOU REPAIR SO FAST" Humans "NANOMACHINES SON"

[@HFYStory]

😂😂

[@FutureMan420Blazer]

Aliens *crying*: Why you repair so fast?! Humans: Nanomachines goes Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[@KuDastardly]

That logistic ship wasn't a ship but a giant roaming military warehouse depot, lol.

[@merlinbrother1177]

And fabrication facility on board

[@urbypilot2136]

You know what they say. Amateurs talk about strategy and tactics. Experts talk about logistics. It makes sense that one of the biggest ships in the fleet would be a mass fabricator and floating dry-dock.

[@shadowpoet4398]

@urbypilot2136 - Indeed, the great Napoleon Bonaparte said an army marches on its stomach. Self sufficiency is the core material of survival. Why call in reinforcements when you already have more guns than an ork waaaagh?

[@eharris3021]

I can see this happening. If there's ever going to a space faring Ferengi it will very likely be humans.

[@larsharris]

I am thinking of a strategy if you understand the laws. Lure your enemy to attack during resupply. Full ship upgrade, and your enemy beaten.

[@arturospendragon548]

I realized that, we as humans, truly excel in one thing: destruction. It may be due to the fervor to protect something or to bring justice to a wrong done upon us, imaginary or not, but nevertheless the creativity for destruction, pain, suffering and devastation we may bring to our enemies is something that only future human generations can surpass.

[@oldnwise]

I remember calling Comcast a few years ago before switching... I wonder if the Alpha Centauri Logistic Service provides Internet? 🤔

[@ANGRYWOLVERINE2060-ft2nc]

I still have comcast. Sadly there are some out there worse...

[@conjumonblue6450]

Fun fact: Most companies like Comcast are the size they are from buying up local ISPs. Those local parts are not upgraded until a business reason justifies it. As a result, your local service varies upon where you are. For good service move into or near an upscale neighborhood, as those neighborhoods get upgraded first. edit: I found this out the hard way, since I moved a lot. Before you sign up with a service talk with some neighbors, what may have been a good company in your old town, might suck in your new town and vice versa.

[@thegreyhound1073]

I'm surprised they didn't out-source customer service.

[@KennethMulmat]

Oh, for the old days when you could pull into a service station and never have to leave your vehicle. Definitely a big like.😂

[@antonerg8184]

Your story left me with a big smile . Well done!

[@robertremers2470]

Finally, a good story. Thank you.

[@shadowpoet4398]

Humans, Prototype Ferenghi. We've got the lobes for business!

[@rogerthomas7040]

Nice to see that the human race rediscovered the idea of customer service.

[@BearsTrains]

Excellent story. Thank you

[@michaelnicholls766]

That was awesome, need more.

[@danielleriley2796]

That was brilliant!

[@pheonixblue01]

She’s basically asking him to upgrade for free and I’m for it.

[@RussBurbridge]

Now that was a good story 👍👍

[@sparkeyjames]

A very nicely customer driven business that.

[@lyromata]

Enjoyed the story. Thanks❤

[@joannjoseph1607]

Loved it! Laughed my guts out! More of the same please!!

[@biffgee6797]

Excellent!

[@HFYStory]

Many thanks!

[@bobr9512]

Nice story, very enjoyable.

[@pheonixblue01]

I kind of love this. FAFO customer service style.

[@neurofiber2406]

I'm sure the Alpha Centauri Logistics Services has a lot of stories to tell. Customers always get an ACLS badge...

[@Ba.Fi.]

Good one

[@BusstterNutt]

having a good grin at this one

[@quitequiet5281]

Awesome story! ❤ 👍 and new subscriber.

[@HFYStory]

Welcome aboard!

[@MikhailScottKy]

This makes me wonder if the Terran Federation has the descendants of the Lawfirm Dewey, Skroohem, and Howe writing their Federation Laws..........

[@debra-qq1np]

It took me a second to rearrange the names : Howe Dewey Screwem Lawyers ... 🤣

[@salnollola3020]

Nice story!❤

[@omps1]

Loved the story

[@ANGRYWOLVERINE2060-ft2nc]

very well done.

[@samutraifin]

i like tha rain sound in the background

[@ErisstheGoddessofmanhwas]

This was a good story .

[@blueeyeswhitedragon9839]

A novel take on a scifi theme...thank you!

[@jackwilliams887]

That was a good story.

[@tommcdermott3233]

This was refreshingly funny

[@EdVILLA-vb1xs]

Omg that was completely unexpected 😂😂

[@johnnyboy1175]

I wonder why u would build a warship that isnt hardened against EMP and thats without all the other naturally occuring stellar phenomenon that could be just as bad if not worse than the damage a technic sourced EMP can do.

[@conjumonblue6450]

Cost cuts and corruption as sub-contractors all took their cut.

[@tibetloga]

Look at the reports coming out of China. Fuel drained from rockets to be used for COOKING!?!? Cracks on the deck of their new air craft carrier? I can see that happening to a space faring race . Surely humans haven't cornered the market when it comes to graft and incompetence.

[@quitequiet5281]

Different technologies create openings for certain types threats... If they have developed a level of technology using the electromagnetic fields of the solar system and galaxy... Everyone at that level technology would be opposed to using something that creates systemic failures... That’s how things like the Geneva Conventions are created... it’s in everyone’s interest to have a set of rules. Notice that they did survive the forbidden technology attack... Civilization is based on rules. The better the “rules” are for everyone the faster that technology, value, infrastructure and capabilities are developed. The more exploitative, violent and uncertain things are... the slower the development of technology, value, infrastructure and capabilities. The reverse engineering of the systems and intelligence gathering on the destroyed vessels is also going to create a security estimate for the billing delivery... LOL It’s always important to recognize the difference between privateers and pirates. Pirates ruin everything for everyone including themselves in the long run. Whereas privateers create the business of business is business and we are here for business. LOL

[@truck6859]

Get the premium package, become a protected species. 😄

[@malahammer]

Wonderful....again! Have a nice day

[@gunmonkey1185]

Blackwater and KBR got into business together I imagine.😅

[@ricardohines1961]

Great story 😂

[@TheLunacyofOurTimes]

Sounds like Michael O'Hare (Jeffrey Sinclair of Babylon 5)

[@allnamesaretakenful]

Why is there a Storm in the background?

[@shubham_uploades910]

Most believable story ever. Humans can start and end a war just for money 😂😂

[@snake57]

So the extended warranty paid off?

[@drmachinewerke1]

Should have called the ship Sears / Simpson

[@jmichaelramirez2510]

More like Amazon Prime.

[@FutureMan420Blazer]

You interfere with our money then OH BOY! PEAK Capitalism LMAO XD

[@FallenKnightXIII]

Just imagine if they touched the boats?

[@FutureMan420Blazer]

@@FallenKnightXIII I recall another HFY story where aliens trashtalked our boats in a bar. Can of whoopazz was opened lolz.

[@tonyroldan2437]

Intro to Human Capitalism 101!

[@bigjay875]

❤

[@donvalley3456]

we dont change lol

[@SGHoo7]

Hahahaha, good story. 😂

[@HFYStory]

Thanks for watching!

[@letke21]

♥

[@ElicBehexan]

Heart💜💖❤‍🩹

[@thomasridley8675]

Maybe capitalism might not be a dead end. 😂

[@morrisanderson818]

Cant see this happening, with the way women today react to been conscripted

[@carlosdgutierrez6570]

She wasn't conscripted, just the customer service girl attending a customer who happened to be a military fleet, not different from a sales girl from Lockheed Martin finishing a sales contract for a new batch of missiles to some random vice admiral.

[@jafleming0409]

The Xurin then receive a call from the Humans customer service dept asking them about their fleets extended warranty.

[@oddquad2010]

So Amazon made it into space, hmmm . . .? Why the beck can't WE GET THAT DISCOUNT ??? I truly enjoyed this story and I can believe that our rampant commercialism reached the stars !!🤔🤗😬🤓🙄

[@silverbird425]

😍❣💋 ~tweet~