The lady vanishes: Whatever happened to Heli Munroe? (2007) - The Fifth Estate

In November 2005, Sandy Munroe kissed his wife of more than 40 years goodbye. Heli Munroe, who had Alzheimer’s disease, was leaving their Nova Scotia home to have lunch with her brother who was visiting from England. Monroe would not see his wife, again for almost two years. Heli’s brother, Marek Pospieszalski, took her back to England with him without telling Munroe.
One year after her disappearance, Monroe launched a publicity campaign in a bid to convince many politicians that his wife was kidnapped by a vengeful family member, and that government inaction prevented him from bringing her back.
Hana Gartner and a Fifth Estate team tracked down Heli Monroe's family in England and spoke to them.
Originally aired: Nov. 7, 2007
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About The Fifth Estate: For four decades The Fifth Estate has been Canada's premier investigative documentary program. Hosts Bob McKeown, Gillian Findlay and Mark Kelley continue a tradition of provocative and fearless journalism. The Fifth Estate brings in-depth investigations that matter to Canadians - delivering a dazzling parade of political leaders, controversial characters and ordinary people whose lives were touched by triumph or tragedy.

[@mariazouaniaagustin9910]

He is narcissistic, a liar and a manipulator. When his wife left he did not have anyone to bully or abuse. He feels powerless.

[@crystsldorsey5580]

Fact

[@gayeinggs5179]

A big creep

[@gayeinggs5179]

And how can he put this poor woman thru this disgusting. Movie when she is like this ! No one should have to be shown like this

[@PaperMario64]

Exactly. He’s fuming because she escaped his control. I hope she’s being safe where she is. He’s dangerous and if he could, he’d drag her back by her collar. The neighbor knew what’s up.

[@dannquan7696]

100% correct

[@velocitygirl8551]

“I’m fairly confident she wouldn’t win any international modeling contests...” WHAT??? And THEN he says she was at least as smart as him ...?? He SUCKS!!!

[@paxsmile]

Jamie Tripp Utitus yep, right then and there I knew she was only money to him.

[@denisewarner8287]

When I heard him say that about his wife, I called him a PIG!!!! Nasty man.

[@antisocialbutterfly161]

I had to play it back twice just to make sure I heard him correctly! Wtf🤬

[@nosleeptonight]

Victim blaming is a common sign of guilt. Very telling behaviour. Poor lady. At least she got away!

[@quickchris10comcast]

I thought she was very beautiful. Be that as it may, Sandy can't seem to move his lips enough to express himself. (Squashing down his facial expressions a form of control?) He won't let interviewer finish her sentences before getting defensive when she starts to say police and VON had initiated investigations . . .

[@justafanmiller7486]

After viewing this segment this is my opinion: Sandy was diagnosed with a debilitating disease and understood its progressive physical affects. The disease would leave her total vulnerable to an abusive husband & at his "mercy"; a fate that alarmed her. Sensing time was running out SHE decided to flee. Good for her & those her helped her along the way.

[@janephillips3627]

SANDY IS THE HUSBAND. HIS WIFE WAS THE ONE WITH A DEBILITATING DISEASE.

[@zek7353]

I'm eight minutes in and it's pretty obvious Heli's brother came over to save her from her ungrateful, psychotic, back handed complimenting toad of a husband. Sandy had such disdain for his wife he could barely even contain it in his interview answers.

[@TJ-si7ug]

Your very delusional, 8 minutes in and you don't know anything yet🤦🤦🤦

[@sherrywebster1675]

Hahahahaha

[@amd724]

Right?! I was like, if my husband ever talked about me like this I'd have been so angry!

[@polychromy_romy]

the "crazy" son seems like the most reasonable person.

[@Cat_herders]

And any problems he may have are most likely as a result of what his father made him endure.

[@em84c]

I really like the son. He's seems like a really intelligent (intellectually and emotionally) cool guy.

[@oldonetwoable]

@@em84c I agree

[@thebovineavenger]

He was very well spoken. Did not sound at all stupid or "UNWELL" what was that all about that the father kept saying. The son let reporters talk to his Therapist. That is private. The son sounded so SMART.

[@pamelawherey4583]

thebovineavenger The son seems to have taken completely after the Mum🌸💐🌸

[@Douglas_Hamilton]

Her brother is a true hero. This man is uncapable of being a husband.

[@Gabriel-gabriel]

the brother is indeed a hero,a good good man. the other one is just a monster

[@preciousOne79]

I'd be extremely scared & depressed if I shared a home with this man. He's a dangerous man. He's ok with her dying on her way back home. He puts her down several times in this interview. My heart breaks for the son.

[@GloxGlox-nl4cd]

The guy is a toad! So wonderful that her family has her back! Hope the son has a wonderful peaceful life,he deserves it.

[@janepollard4141]

Keep her away from this freak.

[@amandaican.1267]

It's about him winning,so to speak

[@aaronberg186]

The fact that her friends and neighbors both said she wanted to leave tells us the truth I think.

[@loretta_3843]

He says his son is "mentally ill" so we should just ignore all he has to say... This guy is a bully, full stop!

[@janesmith9024]

I know. It is when people say the other is mad thay are often instead a bully. I am glad the programme spoke to the son because you can tell the father didn't like that because he knew his son would tell the truth.

[@daveliebrock363]

He's a real piece of work. Self serving, control freak , and yes a bully. He figured he could run the narrative in this interview, but it just proved what a narcissist he really is, to bad other people fell for it. So sad for Heli ☹️

[@reesedaniel5835]

Malignant narcissists ALWAYS call truth tellers "mentally ill, crazy, etc"....they MUST control the narrative!

[@zuzanaxyz8866]

Trying to discredit all people who helped her out... He’s trying to manipulate the conversation and when his lies bump into a wall, he tries to get out of the conversation, because he feels cornered. Poor woman, who had to live with him for the better part of her life :/...

[@letsnotbefriendly]

@@zuzanaxyz8866 it wasn't too long ago that if you showed any type of a mental Illness you would be locked up in horrible asylums ..to descredit is right because we are still not lifting the stigma regrading mental Illness ..there are many countries that still consider mental Illness as a crime or nusance that have zero rights

[@mamabear9646]

He actually is a bully, listen to him degrade the interviewer

[@laineyfabriccio5984]

I totally agree with you, as I have written, I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him, he is a cold fish.

[@desmondgood4246]

Yes but to be fair-this is the interviewer who allowed John Parker(admirer of Rob Ford)to describe cyclists who eat beansprouts as ELITES,being too lazy to challenge his infantile claims.

[@justjonni9330]

Did you see how he got right upon her, then pointed his finger in her face?!? If he acts like that with a women he's not familiar with… we can only imagine how his wife suffered

[@marciam6224]

And when he put his finger in her face, she should've bit it or broke it.

[@simonjohnston9488]

@@desmondgood4246 That's entirely irrelevant. And a weird thing to bring up. Some people don't need challenging, as they make themselves look ridiculous all by themselves. But sure, she deserves it, and Sandy's behavior isn't so bad - because of another interview Gardner did that you didn't like. Cool!

[@jenniferhof9448]

"It's not a big problem. Heli is going to die." The cold calm that this man had when faced with the question of what if Heli dies on the transport home is just frightening. This is a child wanting his plaything and is throwing a tantrum until he gets his way. You can clearly see Heli's fear come through when he was singing to her. Dementia or no, she recognized something and didn't like what she felt. I don't understand how the government of Nova Scotia could play into his games.

[@despicabledavidshort3806]

I'm a geriatric nurse and I work with Alzheimer's patients and rehabilitation patients as well. If Heli left willingly her husband had no legal right to hold her, I'm sure this is why he didn't attempt to get her earlier. Obviously I don't know her baseline behavior but if I were documenting on what I see I would chart that the patient appears agitated and fearful. I see nothing that indicates to me that she is happy to see her husband.

[@marshamarsha5204]

I am not a medical person of any kind. I agree 💯 with you. She is even crawling on the floor to get away from him. She went to great lengths to escape him.... And poor lady still can't get peace from him.

[@cocoaxo]

When they said the Husband kept his wife's passport locked up. That's all I needed to know about Mr. Sandy's crazy self.

[@justjonni9330]

Yesssss… he knew without her passport he had her locked down. And is own son spoke the real truth about him that's why Sandy said to steer clear of him. He knew he'd tell all lol 😆

[@sundevilification]

yep, people i can live without.

[@nothankyouthanksforasking]

IMO the passport situation was understandable as it came up first, assuming the wife instructed him to do so because of her grasp on Alzheimer's. Everything else the husband said was a lot more alarming, what a disturbed individual.

[@mariazouaniaagustin9910]

Me too

[@solargoldfish]

If your in-laws were talking about taking your husband and he was not of sound mind you would probably do the same. Correlation is not causation refers to the inability to legitimate a cause and effect relationship between two events. If you watch the end of the video you could see that the woman was in an assisted living home which wouldn’t be better than in your own home and she obviously knows nothing about where she is or who is around her.

[@gillianholmes258]

What a sociopath, from the first time he opened his mouth he made my flesh crawl, he ticked one box after another.

[@SchlichteToven]

Yeah, he's got a creepy lack of expression in his eyes. Even when he's saying things that sound enraged, he's still deadpan.

[@Indusxstan]

SchlichteToven very true!

[@gordonsmom3861]

I agree completely!

[@kathrynwitte3398]

Asperger’s?

[@christinamueller5680]

kathryn witte Please don’t insult Asperger patients. He is a calculated manipulative Narcissist.

[@jk170]

"Could you live the rest of your life confident and comfortable with the result of Heli dying while being transported" his answer- "yeah, it´s not a big problem"- I have no words for that!

[@razann8875]

He actually said without any hesitance "yep" Heli will die! That was it for me and the singing! Major cringe!!! I am happy she never was given back to him..

[@idemudiaodiagbe7879]

Exactly. That there is more reason she should have to go back to him!!! What a psychopaths!!

[@HappyIturnedyears]

I was shocked too when he as a husband replied that! In the end I believe her brother and her son did the right thing.

[@CherylSimser]

@@razann8875 His brother is just as creepy.

[@ModernWtchTrials]

The son is so articulate in his understanding of how his father functions mentally and emotionally

[@Gabriel-gabriel]

true

[@truthlove1114]

God bless the son. May he recover from what must have been an incredibly difficult childhood.

[@Kathy-kr1sv]

Yeah. NOT crazy. No wonder father didn't want him being contacted Spilled the beans on him 🤔😊

[@honey-feeney9800]

No one specified which type of “mental illness” their son had. It could’ve been a severe depressive episode .

[@hwhy7753]

The son is not familiar with narcissism/psycopathy. He thinks his father was abussive but was "capable of love". He blames his mother for chosing to stay. He doesn't perceive that victims of narcissts r too scared to make a choice.

[@KRISTINA-oz9vc]

“Marital bed, no beauty queen, not as intelligent as he is...” who would want to live with this sob?

[@Annasea666]

Anne Hedonia it's a very back-handed compliment. It's passive/aggressive. And unkind

[@krisquigley4497]

KRISTINA Right? What an unpleasant man. And pretty ballsy of him to comment on someone else's looks.

[@krisquigley4497]

@Anne Hedonia Are you okay with the physical abuse as well?

[@krisquigley4497]

@Anne Hedonia Whoa calm down. Looks like you have a crush on him, good for you.

[@MaxinesCraftynStuff]

From what I saw, she was nervous. As anyone would be when they are found by someone they tried to get away from. The way he spoke to her did not give me the impression he was loving or that he was happy he found her because he missed her, but happy he found her to show her he COULD find her. Abuse vibes is all I am getting. And before anyone says I don’t know or not an expert, I saw and was abused growing up.

[@thebovineavenger]

His wife was CLEARLY agitated when he was in her room. I know Alzheimer’s first hand. They may not remember "On the surface" But they do remember trigger smells feelings and emotions. Elie looked VERY out of sorts with him around her. NOT A GOOD SIGN.

[@kummakummakummakummakummac8606]

She definately didn't look like she was happy to see him or whatever the words he used to describe it.

[@TheHydred]

ptsd comes to mind

[@thebovineavenger]

@@TheHydred yes. very much so. however with alzheimers. Thats what it looks like. She looks like she is reliving past abuse with the way she is rolling around.

[@martiajackson9006]

thebovineavenger facts!!!

[@ProspectiveCorpse]

So true. I though the same thing. Been working in healthcare for a long time.

[@kenmarelove9176]

Initially I sided with him but as the story unfolded I absolutely believe her family & friends. Everyone should have a brother that cares that much. 💚

[@boylevalerie]

I felt such empathy for Heli. She seemed agitated and frightened by Sandy’s presence. I saw a narcissist and gas lighter in Sandy. I pray Heli is not allowed back under this man’s control.

[@ohdear2275]

She died in 2009. Her ashes were sent to her husband.

[@amytih47]

Watching that man was chilling. He’s a scary, scary person.

[@linanicolia1363]

sickening is the word and I got angry, thinking he got away with spousal and child abuse, for decades. He still thinks he can fool people. The kind of guy, you would enjoy , to see in general population jail, after finding out, he beat his wife and kid.

[@samellee7509]

@@linanicolia1363 so so true. Sad for Heli 😞

[@alison2649]

He’d definitely have no patience for her once he got her home in the state that she’s in. She’d die of neglect.

[@heidivincent]

So true. “I want to disarm the caregivers (in England)” omg He is a narcissistic psychopath.

[@leonaleona1628]

I recognize a controlling man when I see one. The fact that they don't understand why they're alone at the end baffles me.

[@justjonni9330]

Thank goodness Heldi had the love if her brother & her friends to see she needed a way out. Dealing with a narcissist on a healthy brain is NOT… Healthy but leaving her in his care with having dementia would've been cruel

[@donmoore7785]

My mother's birth name was "Leona Leonita" [last name] so your user name jumped right out at me.

[@leonaleona1628]

@@donmoore7785 ☺

[@angelicad.2813]

Because they think others are always bad and conspiring against them, it's how he believes of his son, his brother in law and the neighbour.

[@PaperMario64]

Like all narcissistic people. Everyone else has mental problems.

[@EsKaYf4]

What a frightening story. I've also worked in aged care in the last 15 years of my nursing career and I would never have allowed Sandi to approach Heli from behind, and she definitely didn't seem happy to see him. I also think she recognised his voice and when those dreadful brothers were singing Heli didn't enjoy it at all. And he should NEVER have been allowed to sit on Heli's bed.

[@ros_limbo]

Sandy's reaction to hearing that they talked to the son makes me believe everything the son said.

[@mildredwebster2822]

He was definitely upset wasn't he. That defused his claim that his son is mentally ill.

[@clareshaughnessy2745]

When he says she ‘decided’ to break with her family and friends and ‘isolate’ herself, that is a massive red flag.

[@adisaavedra]

Omg yes. The man can only tell lies.

[@Slayerjane61]

@@adisaavedra He's not telling lies--he is genuinely so warped he thinks his perspective is sane and understandable. He's loony!

[@jennacrawford8958]

“Isolate herself” WITH HIM. CRINGE …

[@Venus-gn5oi]

I thought the same. There was something really possessive in the way he said it too...

[@katherinehubble389]

This dude loves himself way more than he ever loved that poor woman.

[@jordanabeaulieu2530]

The whole kidnapping story seemed like a load of hogwash to me!

[@besmajubran5244]

@@jordanabeaulieu2530 what about what her doctor said about her not wanting to go to England. The stories just don't add up. I'm not buying the kidnapping story either. He seems like a delusional liar.

[@justjonni9330]

Number one trait of a narcissist S-E-L-F

[@susanberg5817]

So right. He also loves the attention, he's getting.

[@annas.8902]

The way he speaks is just unreal. He's doing such a terrible job of playing it up for the camera, saying lovey things to her that are just bizarre and using odd vocabulary all over the place as though he thinks he's smarter than everyone and pulling one over.

[@lesley7321]

From the very first second he spoke it was obvious that he was a horrible man. By the time he said she decided to give up all her friends it was blatantly obvious he was a man that she needed to get away from.

[@wyzasukitan]

That was a MASSIVE red flag. From the moment he was waxing poetic about waking up with her on his left side - who talks like that?! An evil sociopath, that’s who

[@mildredwebster2822]

I didn't like how he said that either

[@annaw2909]

omgosh, thought the same think and I came here to comment, but saw yr comment and I second that , what an a$$🤬

[@Lucy-ym8ch]

Exactly. So many unseen victims. So glad she got away

[@Lucy-ym8ch]

I loved her son. As soon as he insisted he was mentally ill and not to contact him, you know the son is completely reliable and will tell the truth. She's so lucky to be alive and have such a great family. That man should be locked up for life.

[@faithcastillo9597]

What perfectly horrible man he is. I knew that after his opening description of Heli. Controlling, manipulative, narcissistic. And it's not a silly question to ask why he didn't go after a wife he professed to be devoted to. I just read that Heli passed away in 2009, and her ashes were sent to Sandy. May she rest in sleep as she likey did not in life with this bullying and mean spirited little man.

[@gracenoah6316]

"It is not a big problem if she dies on her way back home," this man, this man is terribly.

[@anntavedigul9258]

No heart, no feelings, no care

[@christinamueller5680]

Grace Noah Exactly the moment my blood froze in my veins.

[@floridaislandgirl1039]

@@anntavedigul9258 Yes! Yikes he is quite weird.

[@DelphineCingal]

Grace Noah this sent shivers down my spine too... just this sentence should get the UK and Canada authorities think things over with a new perspective.

[@maurabattersby3370]

Grace Noah That statement right there sums it up

[@celticeyesmorriganrising929]

THIS MAN IS SO DEEP IN DENIAL, THAT WOMAN WAS SO AFRAID OF HIM, SHE DID NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH HERSELF. THE POOR WOMAN WAS LITERALLY FRANTIC.

[@melvin171994]

7

[@tankthearc9875]

turn caps off geez shouting

[@mothermayi9545]

The way he got in the journalist’s face and started wagging his finger at her... I legit thought he was going to hit her.

[@monicdavis6150]

He wanted to. He really wanted to.

[@ohdear2275]

He was WAY too close to her. It appeared he's accustomed to acting in a menacing way towards women.

[@stephanemami]

“She’s almost as smart as me” “I’m gonna cry and weep” I literally drool laughing, I didn’t know it was possible

[@mildredwebster2822]

That was another give away

[@roberta6363]

A narcissistic shameful man that has damaged his family. Pathetic.

[@armisam383]

He reminds me of my father.

[@kungfukid4124]

missy amin, sorry. You are not alone. It takes time and a good listener. Peace.

[@Mommapunkin]

@@armisam383 ... I'm so sorry about your "father".. I know you deserve so much better then a tyrant for a father...

[@armisam383]

@@Mommapunkin

[@samellee7509]

@@armisam383 I hear ya. I understand because mine was exactly the same to his family. My mother is still suffering with him.

[@jayeautocorrectstohate206]

I feel sorry that she didn’t escape this man earlier. And cheers to Rory for being the better man and father.

[@joyceyagoda4207]

Jaye autocorrects to Hate dead eyes 👀

[@linanicolia1363]

She is in a horrible state now. I am sure he was beating her and hitting her on the head....this diagnosis of dementia could come from constant head trauma and other forms of torture. This man is a monster.

[@jayeautocorrectstohate206]

lina nicolia Well...she’s died 2+ years ago.

[@MegaTinni]

Amen

[@srk54989]

@@linanicolia1363 oh my😣

[@PKS20]

When he said I’m fairly certain she would never win an international beauty pageant.....wow

[@Victoria-dh3wl]

Who would expressed themselves that way about their wives right at that moment, I knew this man is no good

[@callumbyrne3692]

There is something really off about Sandy. I feel so sorry for his wife. I hope she enjoyed the rest of her life in the comfort of her family ❤️

[@ginatorres677]

🎯💯

[@aunrahaomi7340]

I went to searched what happened to this poor lady. Thank God, she spent her last days with her family in England. She died last 2009 and was cremated. It was not clear if the husband were able to get back her ashes, but he was not able to bring her back alive at least. I can live with that. She didn't have to suffer under his domineering hands anymore while spending her last 2 years of life.

[@LoraHari81]

2 years? Didn't she disappeare in 2005?

[@lukeholman3180]

He did get her ashes back.

[@LL-jt1xt]

He was willing to bring her back dead (a possibility of her dying en route). Controlling bully. Chilling.

[@lynn8796]

Maybe there was insurance money or a pension her thought he wouldn't get if she wasn't with him. He the only mental ill person in this situation.😢

[@LaLaKnight]

"If I can't get her home in her lifetime, I'll get her home dead." WHAT IN THE IKE TURNER!!??

[@LibbyLibbyBrooks]

LaLa Knight “What Love got to do with it” Is the exact feel he gives off all he wants is this lady’s money and probably life insurance. He’s so arrogant! Doesn’t want his son involved because he’s “mentally ill” then was pissed off when they found his son that’s because he knows the truth would come out.

[@cynthiasoroka1838]

LaLa Knight ~~ THAT SENDS CHILLS OF TERROR ... DOWN MY SPINE ! HE IS THE ONE WHO HAS BEEN MENTALLY SICK and HAS DAMAGED HIS WIFE and SON !

[@benglo5245]

@@cynthiasoroka1838 You Better Believe it!! I hate when they End a Story that way! I hope & Pray that her & her good son are protected now from this Evil man for the Rest of their Lives!! 💜🛐☦💫

[@sirapos6550]

@@benglo5245 As mentioned above,she's dead,sadly.

[@craftycriminalistwithms.z3053]

Right!?! Sick SOB! Control til death!

[@hildy208]

I feel your pain, Rory. I know how it feels to cut your losses and completely disconnect from an abusive father and a mother who just cannot seem to break free. I wish you peace.

[@emiliekennedy2489]

My husban died of Alzeimer's , and that loud singing in her room would be very distrubing to a patient. What she was doing on the floor there shows me that in her mind she was trying to get away from these people but did not know how. She looked scared to me and yet the poor dear could not express it verbaly.

[@rajs7876]

My grandmother had alzheimers and enjoyed music till the end but she grew up playing instruments and singing and even one of her neighbours who was a concert pianist played until her final.days. It is not the same for everyone and she has sps apparently.

[@Leesaloves]

Yes. She did seem agitated. 😢 it agitated me!

[@ashiba4024]

This man is an utter, wretched man and an awful father and husband. God bless the brother for getting his sister, away.

[@millyday]

I wish my friends could get their mother away from a very similar man in character!!! He was the death of her! So sad!

[@ashleyshiba8380]

@@millyday , I will pray for your friends' mother and her safety.

[@ZaZa-ib6un]

Listening to his "mentally ill" son I realized how humble and normal human being he is...he sounds intelligent and very reasonable!! All the best to you and your family Rory!!!

[@esterherschkovich6499]

Agree,he is not mentally ill but affected by his childhood.He sounds a fab guy who has come out well.

[@Chico69ers]

Excellent comments.

[@bellaggio1770]

High empathy and intelligence in his son

[@alison2649]

Za Za But could definitely use a shower eh? His kids too. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@lesleyupton7252]

@@alison2649 what a horrible thing to say, how do you know he isn't clean, he and his kids look happily casual not dirty! 😠

[@waypay1]

"I was the air beneath her wings. I really was." Sounds like he's taking credit for her success.

[@ohdear2275]

He's a windbag.

[@AngelsHandPrint]

His son’s description of him was spot on. He’s a child, a ridiculous but malicious child.

[@SusanaXpeace2u]

Rory seems measured, articulate, self-aware and very insightful on the subject of his father's personality. I don't think the programme makers should have stated his location.

[@mirriulahwaterdog]

Yes but I dont think good ol Sandy will be looking for him anytime soon.

[@bethbowman8450]

I Absolutly agree.

[@SandraBrownEyes]

@@mirriulahwaterdog Too much travel-money, hehehehe

[@annietapia2340]

Agree

[@pauline_2373]

You can tell by the way he keeps snapping at this journalist that something is very wrong with this guy.. control freak!

[@SpenserRoger]

Narcissism

[@RasPutintheGreat]

Result of being at home guy, ego was crushed.

[@TheAtl198]

Total, complete loser. Weak man. Ineffectual in every way.

[@tinyGrim1]

Yeah, creeps like that think they're entitled, and important, he's a literal all about him guy. And only him. He's a bully who just wants to win. Good example of life's not fair for poor Heli. And for anyone who knows one if these types of people, man or woman.

[@tinyGrim1]

@@RasPutintheGreat I doupt that. He's a king by his standards, there ego stay intact, and just get nasty. That's the problem. He has no shame at all.

[@moniquesmith3299]

Whether he's abusive or not, he clearly can't care for her in the state she's in. If he really loved her he would let her stay where she is for her own safety.

[@Tsumami__]

100%

[@marjayasmr]

He can’t care for her cos he doesn’t care about her. He’s an obnoxious control freak, the whole interview is shocking!

[@gljtiamo]

This was almost nauseating & physically painful for me to watch... as Im sure it would be for anyone who has been in any sort of close relationship with a psychologically abusive, manipulative, malignant narcissist. The biggest gift I recieved from someone in my past who was similar in personality to Sandy? Now, being able to see "the Sandy" in someone, fast. Before they even get a chance to twist things, manipulate and gaslight. The look of fear/panic on her face when he visited her at the end.😭😭😭 She knew exactly who he was, dementia and all. Just didnt understand how he was back around her, again💔

[@oldonetwoable]

He just wants to win, he can't stand the fact that he's not in control, has nothing to do with love.

[@danielleanderson3926]

absolutely

[@ericamae7287]

You are so right the only thing hurting here is his ego

[@belleame1064]

Correct!

[@zuzanaxyz8866]

EXACTLY!

[@somerking7040]

oldonetwoable EXACTLY!! Without control ,they lose control!

[@mainemermaid6596]

I wish the show didn't reveal the exact location of his son.

[@eleayeproctor9490]

I find journalists stupid with this regard. They would say they are covering identity of someone but would show literally area they live in and folks connected to them. Happens all the time and never occurs to producers to think this could be dangerous.

[@pulsereading]

Agreed. The media compromised privacy and dignity, even to a degree with the husband ''for a story'', regardless. The morally bankrupt liberals of the media.

[@SandraBrownEyes]

That was PLAIN STUPID. I hope he's leaving him alone or maybe that pig(his "father") is also dead.

[@rjh1675]

He has the freedom to get in the boat and relocate.

[@jacquelinelewis2110]

It’s pretty obvious from how he treated the interviewer how he likely treated his wife. Also…his son seems to be extremely well-adjusted and possibly the most articulate person that they interview!

[@martineeggeman2057]

I feel for Rory and his family. I wish them the best. His father is a dangerous and scary manipulator. RIP Heli.

[@racoonsister]

notice when they found his son, he didn't ask how he was, he got upset and reiterated that Rory was crazy. No real parent would act that way, if I hadn't seen my child in 6 years, I would be emotional and want to know they are well.

[@adisaavedra]

My parents would behave exactly this way and in fact, say that exact thing about me to anyone who will listen. Of course, they're severely abusive.

[@angelicad.2813]

Narcissist dads like mine do that. I haven't talked to him in also 6 years (for abuse for me and my mum) . He keeps saying how ungrateful I was because he used to take me to school when I was little, a favour I shouldn't have forgotten.

[@curiousmac5715]

A classic narcissistic

[@spitfirestake54]

Good observation

[@elainebines6803]

How he push his finger towards the ladies face

[@joanbrennan2534]

The neighbor with the miniature horses was great! He called a spade a spade! ♠ = ♠

[@clpr2023]

I’d love to have him as neighbor! Sandy is a nut

[@PaperMario64]

He sure did. Saw him for what he is.

[@MaryAnn-cg1lh]

"Rory is a person who doesn't want to be found" So we found him and told everyone in TV land exactly where he is and how to find him next time.

[@khandiieamerson1039]

On the flip side.. A TV crew found his estranged son in possibly days or weeks, with sheer common sense. To simply ask him a few questions. And pappy over there like, 🤷🏼‍♂️ That's your child. No matter the bad blood between you, you need to know where they're at. Period. Non-negotiable.

[@genevievehackett5017]

That was pretty rotten of this show

[@lisaroy551]

Rory did not want to be found....by his narcissistic controlling father.

[@giraffebecky]

Their son Rory is an INCREDIBLY insightful, intelligent man and so aware of his family dynamic! Good for him! I really like him! I was not expecting that, because of what his father said about his mental well-being - and him (Sandy the father) being caught in the lie/exaggeration of his son's mentality totally affirms what Rory and others said about him charmingly twisting/manipulating things.

[@thinkmackay8954]

This husband is an evil man, who treats his dying wife as a money bag!

[@patriciabennett-siciliap802]

He’s a cruel human being...

[@robelder102]

It is quite evident from his manner and what people are saying about him: he is a controlling, skilled narcissistic bully. That poor woman is definitely better off where she is. The son is still getting over his abusive childhood. Here's hoping he is still safe now after his thereabouts have been made known

[@M.Campbell-Sherwood]

"his *thereabouts* have been made known" I'm afraid I don't quite understand what you mean by this. *Thereabouts* ???

[@teenieneenie630]

@@M.Campbell-Sherwood Your comment sounded as if out of the mouth of Mr. Sandy Munro himself!

[@bethmeadows2828]

@Picasaa P Where was she when she died?

[@BellaLeoLicorice]

@@teenieneenie630 Might be Sandi M's alias

[@stephaniek1076]

I thought it was terrible that they included where the son was found. That could very well put him and his family in danger. Only people who understand the potentially dangerous dynamics of that situation could appreciate that.

[@viviensfilms3604]

The minute Sandy started talking, he showed his bullying and manipulation nature. He does not seem to understand why his wife & son wanted to leave him. When Sandy saw Heli in the UK, she looked clearly distressed, yet he said she rejoiced seeing him. Btw, this man was a home maker & his wife had a PHD, and yet he thought that she was as intelligent as he was. I hope Heili get to stay in the UK with her family who loves and cares for her.

[@bethbowman8450]

Look at the way he acted on camera when they said we found Rory. He freaked out because he knew Rory was an intellegent man capable of stating how life was for him and his Mom. Abused and controlled. He was standing over and finger pointing at the interviewer to intimidate her. Too bad he dosent have alzhimers he has a Rotten brain.

[@kathleenhebert2278]

I couldn’t believe my eyes when he pointed at the interviewer like he did. 😳 .

[@rubydawn1]

Rory is an amazing son and seems to have turned out to be such a good person

[@MiniM69]

You’re stupid to think he’d agree without planning his next move. Why do you think he lives on a boat?

[@lottejohnson250]

@@MiniM69 Because its cool to live on a boat? Loads of people do it...

[@sugarbabylove1000]

The poor woman escaped, she couldn't face spending her remaining years with that bully. I don't believe for one second the neighbour and her friends and the home care helpers are all lying about her husband.

[@kellyprice1024]

Stella Elkhenizy you’d be surprised what they can do.

[@lovelylibra6490]

When the reporter told him they had found his son, & she begins to repeat what he had to say about him... wow! she was really getting under his skin. When he told her to “cool it” & walked toward her to stand over her with his finger pointed in her face! 👿 that’s just a snippet of his real abusive, narcissistic character coming out. I believe if she would have kept going he may have gotten physical with her. His son did say he broke a chair over his dads back to defend his mother🤦🏻‍♀️😔so sad. I hope her family members some how get her ashes.

[@linda2468lou]

@@lovelylibra6490 yes, you are right.

[@momobaptiste5221]

But even his son talk about that controlling freak of a father

[@TheAtl198]

@@kellyprice1024 what who can do? The neighbors and so forth? What do you mean?

[@Dontstopbelievingman]

It should be illegal to show someone at this advanced stage of dementia without their consent. It's heartbreaking. It's wrong. I feel so much for her and her family (and I hope she remains out of her husband's clutches).

[@peachwedding]

An abusers dream is to have his victim be totally dependent on him - Heli having dementia would have delighted him in the fact that he could control her every move and she would have no capacity to fight him off or resist him. How sickening and disturbing.

[@contiflex]

The husband is very arrogant and full of his own self importance. He's scary.

[@sandragruhle6288]

contiflex Does he remind you of anyone in particular?

[@sirismart9541]

The wife wasn't kidnapped. She left her control freak narcissist husband intentionally. He's just mad & playing the victim because he can't use her for her money after 40 years of it! Edit: He kept her Passport locked up & out of her reach!

[@BellaLeoLicorice]

and wouldn't let her phone her family when she had paid all the bills and supported him financially! I believe that if she had been made to return not only would he have got the money he wanted but also he would have got what he thought he was entitled to in the "marital bed"

[@BigBoogookie]

"She wanted to be isolated from her friends and family with me."

[@chutzpah5603]

@@BigBoogookie 😌🙄🙄🙄.... and you are just the kind of a guy any woman would choose to be isolated with.... come on Sandy..... 😩😭😭😭😭 Cry me a river... JUST STOP IT!!! 🙉

[@BellaLeoLicorice]

@@BigBoogookie Yeah sure she did - that struck me as total bs

[@kathrynwitte3398]

He would certainly be eligible to half her property and ongoing support from her as she was the breadwinner.

[@MissNebulosity]

"She wanted to isolate herself with me from her friends" ..... "Im a victim. My wife was kidnapped." wow, sociopathic narcissist much?

[@Inprogress_of_newbeginings]

It's so interesting to me to see how people like Sandy are able to gather support for themselves.

[@charmainkilloran9476]

He was jealous of her because she was more intelligent. He was using her as the bread winner and obviously treated her like his inferior. It wasn't kidnapping it was an escape to freedom. Feel so sorry for this poor lady.

[@kingayy9267]

Saying she wouldn't win beauty pageants but he thought she was gorgeous - as though he's trying to make himself appear to be "better" than traditionally superficial men while, at the same time, insulting his wife shamelessly

[@charmainkilloran9476]

@@kingayy9267 Absolutely right.

[@amandawilliams2266]

Exactly and he seems to be as intelligent as a potato . Wait I didn't mean to put the potato down 😂

[@charmainkilloran9476]

@@amandawilliams2266 lol

[@freespeechforall1069]

The brother taking his sister home then placing her in a nursing home when you can receive great support to care for at home is heartbreaking. This lady was let down by those who said they cared.

[@katieharris5131]

He is completely unlikeable. He doesn’t actually show emotion he just fakes it by describing emotion as intelligently as he can.

[@comedienne_historian]

Katie Harris I came down here to make sure someone else didn’t like him. “I’m sure she wouldn’t win an international beauty competition” dude wtf??

[@NatashaCreatesThings]

Attagirls Kitchen i know!!!! Omg

[@gracerangel7827]

The way he stood over the interviewer and pointed at her made me nervous. It was an intimidating move.

[@SICresinwrks]

I was trying to describe him this whole time and you put it perfectly, he gave me bad vibes right from the start

[@millyday]

Exactly!

[@sheryelverton5372]

Rory needs to understand that it's ok to let go of his dad. His father is a narcissist . He will never change. No contact of any kind with his father will make his life infinitely better. Been there ..done that.. wish the best for Rory. His smile lightened my day!

[@diatonix2]

His horrible "singing" is reason enough to keep her away from him.

[@samsmom400]

The sanest one of all is the "permanently mentally ill son".

[@NickyM_0]

LOL ... 😂 Love how you put that! FACTS!😂

[@merncat3384]

100% !!!!

[@merncat3384]

@Moriya C. I don't disagree with ANYTHING you said here but the point of the post proves the exact same point you are trying to make.. regardless of whether he has a mental illness or not, regardless of if he's on medication or not, they (the dad) are trying to make him sound "crazy" or "unreliable" because he supposedly has a "mental illness" (even though we all know most doctors misdiagnose anyway) but none of that matters here.. the fact still remains : the son is the most sane, the most logical and the most realistic out of all of them.

[@barbaras8562]

This program was so informative. I wonder how many elderly victims like Heli exist with no guardian angel brother to rescue them.

[@raysmetaltracks6782]

My mother was in a very abusive relationship when I was young. When Sandy was in the room with Heli, constantly talking, singing, etc., my skin was crawling, and I couldn't understand why. Then I remembered how my mom told me how her husband used to do the same to her - continuous praise, singing, and going on about how "great" things used to be... "It was a form of control", she would tell me. She said she would withdraw and shut-down the more he would talk, and he knew it. I was around 12 at the time, and I can remember how uncomfortable I felt in the room, and I can remember my moms blank stare. That interaction between Sandy and Heli felt very similar.

[@marysisak2359]

He is a psycho. So is his brother.

[@olivegrove2615]

Classic domestic violence case.

[@andragreene2952]

I agree

[@H_A_L_7]

@@andragreene2952 Oh I thought that was her brother....the man singing with him in her bedroom.....it felt like an assault on someone vulnerable frankly. I had to look away.

[@alicepartosa4657]

He wanted his wife back, not out of love, but a slave to be abused of. His son even gone incognito.

[@carolynm9638]

alice partosa he wants power of attorney back to have ensure his ownership of her half of the house.

[@cynthialazo1273]

This man never changed his tone on every conversation he had.

[@merncat3384]

@26:00 - the truth comes out.. That reaction told me everything!!! The son is telling the truth and he is NOT crazy.

[@peterrobertson8033]

I think he is the most controlling person ,he scares me& I’m a guy aged 70.

[@personalpc7439]

Really???? how do you know him?

[@ck2503]

He is obviously a piece of work. Not sure how he thought this interview was going to help his case....

[@Bishka100]

He thought this interview would help because he is a self-opinionated creep... i know, I was marred to one!

[@Bishka100]

@Klik Day Unfortunately, there is little, if anything, you can do for people like him. They deflect and obfuscate like there is no tomorrow. If ever you find yourself tangled with such a person, cut your losses and RUN ! I'm glad she got away from him.

[@christinamueller5680]

Bishka100 Unfortunately she ran away too late. I could swear this poor woman would have lived a less dramatic end if she had escaped decades earlier. He drove her nuts.

[@carolynm9638]

Yes, he is extremely out of touch with reality and has no idea how transparent he is.

[@djrigmarole7077]

This is heart wrenching ! That poor lady. Bless her heart 💜

[@audreyorissapaley-omelchuk6919]

I was shocked at how fearful she was of him. She seemed to want to get as far from him as possible, but didn’t know how. I expect she has passed on by now, (2021). If this is the case, I am pleased she is finally safe.

[@pamyuhnke8143]

"I want to respect his privacy....but he's very mentally ill....". Anyone else smell a narssisist?

[@ninja1antelope]

His daily calls are a form of “remote” control.

[@Cat_herders]

Ninja antelope There can be only 1 Yet he wouldn’t let her call home because it was too expensive...

[@stephaniek1076]

Great comment! Plus, I enjoyed the pun!!

[@tarajh]

Perfect analogy.

[@janesmith9024]

Yes, I found them very objectionable. If I had been abused bya bullying husband for 40 years the last thing I would want once I had escaped was to have to listen to him on the phone every day but hopefully she isn't aware of what is going on.

[@linanicolia1363]

He is documenting his " efforts". He is pure evil.

[@marygoff3332]

"She was at least as intelligent as I was..." holy moly. All I needed to hear to figure out this man's personality.

[@Mandi298]

If you were too look up condescending and narcissistic in a dictionary, there would be a picture of this man. I can’t even imagine the life this poor woman lived. The son moved away and changed his name..that says A LOT about where he came from and not wanting to be associated. Good for him for finding his path and escaping that nightmare. If only he could have convinced his mom to run too. 😔 What a cold cold condescending little man.

[@deeprollingriver5820]

So someone has to give you a code word to let you know you’re out of control. Normal people know when they are out of control

[@fazistephanie7066]

Was thinking he may be autistic and it would explain some of his shocking comments. I am not implying he did not abuse her he definitely has a big problem with social interaction and cues.

[@sunavanbekkum]

Thank god for taking her away from this man.

[@Tealeafs1]

It was her brother.. Not god

[@patriciabennett-siciliap802]

I agree!, animal

[@leanderrowe2800]

"He dragged her home ! " If that's not abusive, what is ? The neighbour has no reason to lie.

[@BlackorcaOZ]

There's no way his son is mentally ill, he said that and asked them not to get in touch with him because he wouldn't agree with him.

[@freedpeeb]

A man who would pursue this woman's removal from a facility where she is well cared for and comfortable, is a cruel man.

[@jenniferlawrence9473]

I think he's a psychopath. He could barely contain his rage at the interviewer. I can only imagine how he was with his own wife.

[@beths3288]

@@jenniferlawrence9473 I don't think he's a psychopath. He's melo-dramatic and afraid, which is typical of spousal abusers, actually. I also think the main reason why he wants his wife back is because he has to be "right". If he got her back, then he could continue to deny his ill-treatment of her and his son, he can negate what his brother-in-law did, and frankly, was justified to do. Thankfully, it's highly likely that Heli is dead now, so her pain is done.

[@debbielarsen4831]

@@mariaritajane6825 I agree. She does not want him there. Even in her state of mind, she knows he's evil.

[@ColorfulMusiicNotes]

When he said “she was almost as smart as me, a very inteligente woman” 🙄 I knew he had problems of superiority

[@ggurks]

He actually said "she was at least as intelligent as me", which is the opposite of "almost". But anyway, he is a creep and it looked like it cost him quite an effort to say she's smarter

[@dellahicks7231]

It appears Heli passed in 2009, her ashes sent back to her husband here in Canada. May her soul be at peace now.

[@ebonypenguin2899]

Forty years of suffering domestic violence.....her only escape while alive was into "insanity".

[@crazycrackinchick]

RORY if you ever read this... I'm so proud of you. As someone struggling with personal issues, it makes me so happy to see you being so perspective and mature and loving. Your children are so lucky to have you.

[@jennifersierzant2152]

Morgi Taylor here here! Rory is awesome

[@Scorch428]

Rory looks like he used to use drugs heavily.

[@janetsides901]

Rory!! Great job blowing his cover!! His reaction was classic

[@michaeldavies051185]

@@janetsides901 YESSS my thoughts exactly. That reaction was like MasterCard - priceless

[@joannakarlsson3423]

@@Scorch428 And what is your point? If we judge you by your comment -since we can't judge you by your looks you are defenetly not making your momma proud.

[@carolynm9638]

The fact that he almost choked admitting she was intellectually his better, was enough to tell the whole story for me.

[@debbielavigne1154]

I absolutely thought the same.

[@richebronsonify]

It was enough for me that he let the sleazy journalists in to see her at her worst moments, crawling around on the floor while he sang to her, and when she specifically told him she had prided herself on her intellect and accomplishments and was planning to lock herself away from everyone to die. HE said she said that!! Disgusting the sleazy journalists did it- absolutely appalling that her husband allowed it!! That said all I needed to know about him and his claims that she wanted to be there! I just hope she never realized they did it. Zero integrity from ANY of them- all exploiting her for their own gain!!

[@carolynm9638]

High Quality Opinions And that, HQO, pretty much sums it up. Well said.

[@aewtx]

@@richebronsonify Yeah, didn't care much for the interviewer earlier. Abrasive. And when she told Sandy they found the son and he got up, told her he was so upset he didn't know if he could continue, she's all like, "Oh, well, try, and if you can't handle it, then we'll take a break." Uh, that's what he just told you! He's not very likeable, but that doesn't mean she can't do her job properly.

[@teresaparis5063]

How sad it is that she doesn't even know how she wants to position herself for comfort, why would he want her not to be taken care of by medical personell

[@susanberg5817]

Seeing him with his wife, I get the feeling, he is playing for the camera. No genuine emotions of love for her, is my feeling. And she looks uncomfortable and scared to me. We must protect those, who suffer from dementia. A discussion like this is important.

[@girlmettle]

" My marital bed" " Utterly retched" ? Wow, clearly he did not want his son interviewed because he son knows the deal. The family coming in to get her was nothing less than GANGSTA!

[@debbietaylor2983]

And everything else out of his mouth was all about him. Nothing about her well being. Creepy dude.

[@cocoaxo]

girlmettle, GANGSTA BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY. When it comes to your family.

[@bobalot3639]

@Ryan Smith ahyessss....we see you, you trolling narcissist, "Ryan Smith" 🤣