The Letting Go Paradox: Make Them Want You

  Рет қаралды 563,464

Andrew Vanhoff

Andrew Vanhoff

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер
6 ай бұрын
When in doubt, be silent and give them space.
@frankiegates4149
@frankiegates4149 5 ай бұрын
Does this work? And does this help for a future for both of us rekindling and starting over?
5 ай бұрын
@frankiegates4149 No other formula is as effective as silence and patience. I mean 2,3,4 months. Sometimes 6 months or a year. But be patient and don't go on social media pretending to be Mr. Popular, it's phony. Just don't post anything that makes you look needy or angry.
@wathah323
@wathah323 5 ай бұрын
That is why God is silent
@RobertSmith-tu7rl
@RobertSmith-tu7rl 5 ай бұрын
@@wathah323 deep
@rizvaldo7209
@rizvaldo7209 5 ай бұрын
Give YOURSELF space. We don't need to give them anything. We must put ourselves first and remember we are whole.
@huaynax
@huaynax 6 ай бұрын
Attachment is the root of all suffering.
@rubenssz
@rubenssz 6 ай бұрын
*unhealthy attachment
@JronDon854
@JronDon854 6 ай бұрын
Tinnitus....
@OrangeMaple-ry8di
@OrangeMaple-ry8di 6 ай бұрын
Attachment comes from insecurity
@jodaisy113
@jodaisy113 6 ай бұрын
@huaynaX - words deserving of a plaque 🙌
@harwindersupra7080
@harwindersupra7080 5 ай бұрын
how to let it go then .??? i been trying so hard to let it to go
@Sensei-wx3kx
@Sensei-wx3kx 6 ай бұрын
Based on my experience, you need to focus on yourself until someone will attract to you because of your worth or value as a person. Do not chase you attract
@Dasaev88
@Dasaev88 5 ай бұрын
Absolutely
@Dasaev88
@Dasaev88 5 ай бұрын
I realized that tryng to chase by 4 years I was never able to get something till I started focusing in myself, then in less than 6 months, I just got to the point that I didnt even know what to pick up, I mean girls, friendships, paths, evertyhing has to start by us not by outside
@evan12697
@evan12697 2 ай бұрын
sounds like a foolproof way to die alone
@fugslayernominee1397
@fugslayernominee1397 Ай бұрын
So in nutshell; just be you, have your own things like few interesting hobbies going on in your own life, chase goals and people will chase you.
@ChillYeti
@ChillYeti Ай бұрын
Yep
@Watch_Derek
@Watch_Derek 17 күн бұрын
I dunno chief, a decade into focusing on myself and not chasing others, I still haven't had anyone interested in me. Now at 32 my family is wondering if I'll ever have a girlfriend
@Mo_Haver
@Mo_Haver 14 күн бұрын
I don't want to be chased - is this supposed to be a life purpose
@4ssass1n35
@4ssass1n35 Күн бұрын
@@Watch_Derekyou are a man, you have to pursue first but let them decide if they want to get with you
@saadlazaar9760
@saadlazaar9760 6 ай бұрын
“You re trying to fill a whole that doesn’t exist ”. Summed it perfectly.
@AnnieTyzak
@AnnieTyzak 5 ай бұрын
The hole does exist and it can be filled with money
@FragmentOfInfinity
@FragmentOfInfinity 5 ай бұрын
​@@AnnieTyzakOr cream cheese
@twotonepatek
@twotonepatek 5 ай бұрын
@@FragmentOfInfinity i'll take money and cream cheese
@Lowtan
@Lowtan 5 ай бұрын
A hole*
@Khabibullah
@Khabibullah 3 ай бұрын
That day I filled one up with sausage
@bobbyphillips8732
@bobbyphillips8732 4 ай бұрын
You can’t get them back because that relationship is already gone, but you can have a new one with the same person because you are now different people…. Wow I love this. Thank you for this
@Mo_Haver
@Mo_Haver 14 күн бұрын
why getting back, when I'm moving forward, right?
@GloriaJ.Bronson
@GloriaJ.Bronson 8 күн бұрын
You're incredible, truly a gift. My man and I ended things a few weeks ago. He said he needed space, and I couldn’t really fault him for that. There were no major fights, just... it was over. But I’m still struggling to accept that it’s really the end and that I might never hear from him again. I miss him more than I can put into words.
@ChristineCole-u3f
@ChristineCole-u3f 8 күн бұрын
Sweetheart, I can feel your pain, and I'm so invested in seeing you heal and move forward. I’ve been exactly where you are, and I know how tough it is. But trust me, there is hope, and there is healing. Have you ever considered speaking with Father Abulu, the spiritual counselor who helped me? I really believe he could make a difference for you, too.
@GloriaJ.Bronson
@GloriaJ.Bronson 8 күн бұрын
A spiritual counselor? I’d never considered that, but if it helped you, I’m open to trying it. Can you share more about what it’s like and how it worked for you?
@ChristineCole-u3f
@ChristineCole-u3f 8 күн бұрын
I was skeptical at first too, but working with Father Abulu was truly life-changing. He’s such a gifted spiritualist, and his approach is incredibly compassionate. I wholeheartedly recommend him.
@GloriaJ.Bronson
@GloriaJ.Bronson 8 күн бұрын
Thank you so much for connecting me with him. I’m beyond grateful.
@nathalielelan8611
@nathalielelan8611 6 ай бұрын
No one is our savior, except ourselves. We need to feel complete on our own, we have to fullfill ourself. I have a text on my wall in my living room "Be the energy you want others to absorb".
@obscurereferences7198
@obscurereferences7198 6 ай бұрын
Jesus Christ is my savior. I'm not God, and I didn't die on a cross for the remission of all sin. I'm no savior, even to myself.
@nathalielelan8611
@nathalielelan8611 6 ай бұрын
@@obscurereferences7198 don't you know who you really are??
@noelmalik5018
@noelmalik5018 6 ай бұрын
@@obscurereferences7198Jesus is the messenger of Allah and the Messiah, not your saviour, nor did he die on the cross. He will bear witness against you. So be warned of a tremendous day and leave the Christian delusion created by paul the liar
@xjoemallardx
@xjoemallardx 5 ай бұрын
​@@noelmalik5018The only people that are delusional are you clowns and your "god".
@Butterflygyal97
@Butterflygyal97 5 ай бұрын
Yes ma’am I agree so much!
@LulamaGraham
@LulamaGraham 7 ай бұрын
this is genuinely one of the best videos on this topic i've ever listened to.
@joannawrzelikowska3273
@joannawrzelikowska3273 6 ай бұрын
Me too! So good
@blyg81
@blyg81 6 ай бұрын
Likewise
@trumphSafe
@trumphSafe 6 ай бұрын
OK I am watching
@UltromanTheTacoman
@UltromanTheTacoman 6 ай бұрын
Yep, very precise wording describing how my failure to stop people-pleasing manifests. Self-love and filling your life on your own fixes this.
@ariannagalves9973
@ariannagalves9973 5 ай бұрын
I agree
@piek359
@piek359 6 ай бұрын
The universe really led me here at 4am to watch this completely undistracted ❤
@MrBunay
@MrBunay 6 ай бұрын
Same
@DLL995
@DLL995 6 ай бұрын
same
@sunnybbb
@sunnybbb 6 ай бұрын
Bruh it's 04:01 for me rn
@shubhamsundriyal6438
@shubhamsundriyal6438 6 ай бұрын
It’s 4:03 for me😂
@cameronsteele371
@cameronsteele371 6 ай бұрын
4:17 am here
@TeresaGutierrez-e8k
@TeresaGutierrez-e8k 24 күн бұрын
Wow, this is so uplifting, it’s important to stay inspired. I feel a deep sense of emptiness, it’s been 2months since jack left and everyday feels like an eternity without him. My mind’s been flooded with memories of our time together. It’s so painful that I’d never get to experience the little things with him again. zI’ve texted him several times telling him how much I miss and want him sadly he replied none. Guess all I can do is just hold unto the memories.
@MarshaRobinson-k5o
@MarshaRobinson-k5o 24 күн бұрын
It’s ok to grieve dear It’s clear that you’re not just missing jack but a part of yourself that you shared with him. Your message to him is a testament to the love you still have for him. It’s takes courage to be that vulnerable. It’s ok to feel the pain of heartbreak but don’t loose hope. My own heart break story is one of devastation . It was sudden and brutal leaving me lost. Desperate for solace and guidance, I reached out to a spiritual counselor who was recommended by a friend for help.
@TeresaGutierrez-e8k
@TeresaGutierrez-e8k 24 күн бұрын
That sounds intriguing, I’m curious what exactly does the spiritual counselor do?
@MarshaRobinson-k5o
@MarshaRobinson-k5o 24 күн бұрын
His name is Father Tosin Ayodele and he's an amazing spiritual counselor who specialize in helping people reconnect with their ex
@TeresaGutierrez-e8k
@TeresaGutierrez-e8k 24 күн бұрын
I’m grateful for your suggestion, you have no idea how much this means to me.
@Tania_888
@Tania_888 6 ай бұрын
Letting go is the ultimate freedom ✨️
@marguskiis7711
@marguskiis7711 6 ай бұрын
Your life become hollow.
@American_dadv
@American_dadv 4 ай бұрын
What if they come back. Please help me
@PhilipTomisi
@PhilipTomisi 2 ай бұрын
Great video! Sadly, my two-year relationship ended a month ago. The person I thought was the love of my life decided to leave, and I’m still deeply in love with him. I can’t stop thinking about him, and despite all my efforts to win him back, nothing has worked. I feel so frustrated and can’t imagine being with anyone else. No matter what I do, he’s always on my mind, and I miss him terribly.
@RobertRyan-q7b
@RobertRyan-q7b 2 ай бұрын
Letting go of someone you love is incredibly hard. I went through a similar experience when my twelve-year relationship ended. I couldn't bear to lose him, so I did everything I could to rekindle our relationship. Eventually, I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, who guided us back together.
@PhilipTomisi
@PhilipTomisi 2 ай бұрын
Wow, that’s incredible! How did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with him?
@RobertRyan-q7b
@RobertRyan-q7b 2 ай бұрын
His name is Fatherabulu, and he’s an amazing spiritual counselor who specializes in helping people reconnect with their ex.
@PhilipTomisi
@PhilipTomisi 2 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing this valuable info! I just looked him up, and he seems impressive.
@gamze6713
@gamze6713 6 ай бұрын
I was always strong and hiperindependent girl, secretly suffering from an absent father. During the video, I visiulised and told him "I love you and I'm grateful for you being my father and I know you always love me and give me power, but I have had suffered enough for your absence in my everyday life, I have a whole life that I want to live for myself and I can't have it unless stop waiting for you to make me your little princess again, so I am letting go of my this attachment and expectation for my life, and I will start live my life, even you'd not here for me all the time. I love you."
@MrAkamarured
@MrAkamarured 6 ай бұрын
Great message! Keep at it and be proud of living the life you chose. Resentment drags us behind and you've changed it to love. Very beautifully done!
@sanjanaraj7779
@sanjanaraj7779 6 ай бұрын
Amazing!!
@thixcinikki
@thixcinikki 6 ай бұрын
so beautiful!!
@sallytemraz8614
@sallytemraz8614 6 ай бұрын
tears.
@gpelomundo
@gpelomundo 6 ай бұрын
Relatable af. ❤
@Omgiamsotriggered
@Omgiamsotriggered Ай бұрын
You hit the spot on with projecting. I thought I fell in love with this one girl, I became obssesed with her. I spent all day everyday just texting her and waiting for her to text me back like some puppy. I made her something completily else in my head than what she was, and ofcourse as you can imagine, she broke things off. After few months after everything settled I realised I didnt even like her like that, I liked the idea of her in my head, and I formed some type of anxious attachment behaviour. Obviously getting "over her" wasnt even that hard because I really quickly realised what I was doing to myself. I guess I really wanted to live in my own fantasy that I created this weak energy that she felt, I really dont blame her for anything, its understandable. What I can say tho is I learned ALOT about myself.
@knukey123
@knukey123 2 ай бұрын
My girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me recently. Finding it hard to be by myself now, and having to learn how to be ok with myself. This video has helped me understand things about my self a little more.
@BenjaminBlueforever
@BenjaminBlueforever 6 ай бұрын
This video hit hard for me. My current issue with chasing someone for the last year and I'm working toward breaking out of it. Thank you.
@andrewvanhoff
@andrewvanhoff 6 ай бұрын
You're welcome! There's nothing wrong with chasing someone, per se. It's more that we're often actually running away from ourselves and abandoning our own inner power in order to do so. Often when we feel the need to chase, or to prove our worth to the person we're interested in, it can come from a situation where early in life we felt we needed to prove ourselves to our parents, maybe we needed to achieve or people please in order for them to be happy, or had to make sure everything was perfect. In my case, this was paired with a deep rooted fear of abandonment. The crazy thing is that this fear of being abandoned by somebody else causes us to consistently abandon ourselves. We change the way we behave, what we say and do, in order to please other people. We start to make them happy at our own expense, hoping to fulfill that pattern and make sure they won't leave us - all the while subtly sending ourselves the message that WE don't have our own backs. Just keep doing your best and learning and growing from the experience and giving yourself some grace when you temporarily slide back into old patterns. We're all doing the best we can!
@amaant46
@amaant46 5 ай бұрын
I feel you man! Dated this girl for a little under 6 months, felt like she was the best thing to have happened to me, everything was rock solid but then at the end of the 5th month I started feeling her pull away. Couldn’t make sense of it and that completely threw me off my rocker. 1 week before we would’ve completed 6 months together she ended things with me because of something that happened in bed. I made a mistake but she just decided to leave me straight away. Tried reasoning with her and ended up chasing her in the process for the next 6 months. Went to her home drunk, called her friends, cried, did everything. It’s been over 8 months since our break up now and I still haven’t moved on but I have not contacted her in over 2 months. I’m trying to finally let it go and move forward with life and trying to love myself. God has a plan for me, just like everyone else! :)
@Caolan-b6r
@Caolan-b6r 3 ай бұрын
How's things now
@BenjaminBlueforever
@BenjaminBlueforever 3 ай бұрын
@@Caolan-b6r my sadness turned to anger for a bit, but now I am not as sad about it. Been pursuing other people and have been letting go. It's gotten easier.
@semprefidelis76
@semprefidelis76 2 ай бұрын
@@andrewvanhoffCan we go by an example? I see a hot girl I want to meet. By approaching her, to meet her, I am by default being needy and chasing her. How can I approach, show interest, meet but NOT be needy and build attraction?
@akhyarrayhka4048
@akhyarrayhka4048 6 ай бұрын
chasing chased them away ive learned this the hard way
@AnnieTyzak
@AnnieTyzak 5 ай бұрын
Ya plus it’s embarrassing
@b_jwright24
@b_jwright24 5 ай бұрын
At least you learned, that’s the best thing about mistakes
@Mike-y1q3v
@Mike-y1q3v 4 ай бұрын
​@AnnieTyzak had a girl at work yesterday I kinda like n I know she like me she got a whole boyfriend she said I'll walk with you a little before I leave I said OK so what you got planned after work she said dinner and then we going for ice cream her n her bf I said we'll you better get going you don't want your people waiting on you she said yeah n turned around n left but she all up on me at work I feeling her but that bf shit ya bye
@AnnieTyzak
@AnnieTyzak 4 ай бұрын
@@Mike-y1q3v I’m proud of you 😊💯
@chiche8549
@chiche8549 7 күн бұрын
Just have this mentality that everything happens for a reason and if it does ,you don’t have to stress over it because life is short 😊
@butterfliesrainbows2568
@butterfliesrainbows2568 6 ай бұрын
A useful exercise for other relationships and situations too, such as family, friends and jobs, even dreams and material items. Thank you
@butterfliesrainbows2568
@butterfliesrainbows2568 6 ай бұрын
And it's less and attracting others, more about becoming true to yourself and in your own energy. Then, we might attract situations and people more aligned to our true self 🎯
@andrewvanhoff
@andrewvanhoff 6 ай бұрын
Absolutely! If I can admit it here...the attracting others is a bit of a lure I use to get people to watch. Because so many people come with that inner sense of lack and they want the easy fix. So I try to hook people with what they want, and then do my best to deliver the deeper aspect of what they need haha But it's absolutely about becoming true to yourself and in your own energy, the attracting other people and situations that resonate with the new energy is a side effect of the deeper transformation
@Tettenex
@Tettenex 2 ай бұрын
sure do this, just don't become avoidant. By avoiding , we protect ourselves from hurt-but in the end, we also end up losing what we longed for most. (coming from someone who had an avoidant attachment style)
@johnmoore1495
@johnmoore1495 Ай бұрын
Yeah it’s still a balance, you can’t detach too much or otherwise you wind up leaving people thinking you’re no longer interested romantically or as friends. I’ve done it with both and ruined a relationship with a girl that I genuinely thought I was going to marry, turns out we were both similar in wanting to be highly attached but I thought I was overdoing it and ended up ruining it by detaching.
@miaalmamusica
@miaalmamusica 6 ай бұрын
I am grateful for having had you in my life. Thank you very much. I appreciate you, I love you, but I have to go now. I have a life that is outside of you. I have a life that I have to go live for myself, and I have to let you go. Thank you for what you’ve given me, I appreciate the learning opportunity, I appreciate the time we’ve had together but I have to be my own person, I have to move forward in my life that has nothing to do with you anymore. And that is ok.
@gjin141
@gjin141 3 ай бұрын
So powerful!
@Kundalearni
@Kundalearni 6 ай бұрын
Absolutely spot on. Letting go is one of the most important things you can do in your life. Conscious inaction can allow your higher self to come through to guide your true path. 🧡🙏🧡
@Freedomandspice
@Freedomandspice 6 ай бұрын
This video just started playing out of nowhere but I’m glad I’m here. It’s what I needed.
@elllxxxnnn
@elllxxxnnn 6 ай бұрын
❤❤❤❤❤ hit hard. we keep chasing for a feeling not a person. we always on our own.
@BennificialFactor
@BennificialFactor 3 ай бұрын
God is about to bless me with the ultimate devine union this month. New love that is truely for me, and will help me grow, heal, and be more abundant then ever before. So be it.
@kennabuggin3570
@kennabuggin3570 7 ай бұрын
Great video! I’m thankful that you presented your point with empathy. Facing your insecurities is intimidating and inner wounds can be painful but you don’t need to be ashamed. Have empathy for yourself and don’t quit even when it’s difficult! ❤
@andrewvanhoff
@andrewvanhoff 7 ай бұрын
Absolutely! It's a tricky subject to address for exactly that reason. The very nature of our tendency to see things from a place of insecurity, scarcity, and fear means that we're so quick to jump straight to self-condemnation when we develop self-awareness. When I realize that the common problem behind many of the problems in my relationships is my own inner insecurity, in a sense, that gives me ammunition to feel even MORE insecure and alone and flawed. That's where the negative feedback loop can begin. So you're absolutely right that we must give ourselves some grace and empathy and look at these things with love instead of shame. Interestingly, that whole process also feeds into the authentic embodiment of being your best self anyway! Because when we find peace with who we are, and are able to accept our so-called flaws, that's when we no longer feel that need for endless validation and reassurance! So, acceptance and empathy are a huge part of the equation.
@simetricshadow
@simetricshadow 3 ай бұрын
wanting them to chase us is actually chasing them.
@joannawrzelikowska3273
@joannawrzelikowska3273 6 ай бұрын
Thank you for this video. As a codependent needy person I needed this video and it is true. ❤
@RenzElRey
@RenzElRey 6 ай бұрын
Brilliant video. I used to be plagued with severe anxiety for years and once I started practicing detachment and letting go, I took back control of my life. The anxiety could no longer run it for me. I’m grateful to creators like you who spread the word about the life changing effects of letting go!
@Dante-wp8mi
@Dante-wp8mi 6 ай бұрын
The voice and the pronunciation easily make top 10 of the best voices that I've ever heard in my life. 😂❤
@WhatTheDrell
@WhatTheDrell 6 ай бұрын
This video truly needs more views. He's helping me solve all these feelings that were under the surface & why I really feel that way. Thank you for helping all of us develop a better sense of self!
@PraisebetoGod777
@PraisebetoGod777 6 ай бұрын
This hit hard… I’m 44 and my wife passed from cancer 6 months ago, we were soulmates and I’ve been struggling so badly and this video really helped me see the mistakes I made with her from childhood trauma. I don’t want to make the same mistakes again but yet i find myself trying to fill a void that I feel inside. My relationship with God is the only thing that has saved me and it’s still a daily battle between my fleshly desires and my spirit. Great information very accurate and true.
@b_jwright24
@b_jwright24 5 ай бұрын
Damn man, please take the appropriate actions when it comes to coping. I don’t know you, you don’t know me but I’m here for you
@PraisebetoGod777
@PraisebetoGod777 4 ай бұрын
@@b_jwright24 thank you
@angel1010gomez
@angel1010gomez 4 ай бұрын
Agree with the previous comment, we don't know each other but prayers to you and may your wife be in God's paradise. We're here for you hermano.
@Napoleonicwarfare
@Napoleonicwarfare 4 ай бұрын
I hope you find peace mate. Don't beat yourself up with survivors guilt, i'm sure that the fact you had such a long and successful relationship meant that you are a good caring person. Sorry this has happened, wish you the best.
@PraisebetoGod777
@PraisebetoGod777 4 ай бұрын
@@Napoleonicwarfare thanks brother
@Dragonomics
@Dragonomics 15 күн бұрын
I'm confident in every area of my life but a relationship caught me with a sucker-punch recently and brought my attachment issues to the surface. You absolutely nailed this video. Thank you for verbalising it and releasing it to the world.
@tristan9568
@tristan9568 Ай бұрын
Something I've always struggled with around this idea of being not interested/ letting go of people is I consider myself a person that cares deeply. It's hard to give up on someone when you want to keep trying. The way this is phrased helped me understand that there is nothing wrong with letting go. It isn't selfish, it's an act of care for the person you're locked in on. This really opened my eyes, thank you.
@megane_isme
@megane_isme 5 ай бұрын
this is actually perfect for me rn, not because i'm broken but because i am now interested into entering a new relationship
@adamwall7852
@adamwall7852 4 ай бұрын
Im in a really great 5 month relationship, and we are gonna get engaged in the next 3-4 months. I am still working through an anxious attachment due to some tough childhood memories, so this video really hit home with me. I’m trying to learn to be the best man I can be for my future wife. Sheesh it’s hard, but worth it! Even though she’ll never see this, I love you Abby 💛
@thelaibon
@thelaibon Ай бұрын
One of the best videos on this subject. Quintessential.
@mattfischer1
@mattfischer1 5 ай бұрын
You made me understand this on an entirely different level. I’m always chasing and knew it was wrong but now I fully understand that it’s not beneficial. And I always get the ick when ppl chase me and now it makes sense as to why.
@lynaaa
@lynaaa 4 ай бұрын
3 days ago i felt so bad when my boyfriennd left me and i begged him to stay multiple times just because i love him so much it still hurts but this video makes me feel like i can still exist as just me and be happy with my life
@brandonarnold970
@brandonarnold970 3 күн бұрын
This found me at the perfect time. Very succinct and incredibly insightful. Thank you so much!
@shadowran9193
@shadowran9193 Ай бұрын
Note that he didn't talk about "men" or "women" once in the entire video, something no other relationship advice does these days. Respect Sir, great video 👍
@Mo_Haver
@Mo_Haver 14 күн бұрын
yea, but still the biological program is: men are chasing and women are choosing. So, there is that, know you know for who it is.
@RobbiJamesshow
@RobbiJamesshow 6 ай бұрын
Nailed it! Read about letting go for years - you say it best
@AminaAzzmouri
@AminaAzzmouri 4 ай бұрын
I needed to watch the video 4 times in a row to get the whole concept of me letting go of what exactly.
@farizsyahm
@farizsyahm 5 ай бұрын
I am so glad that I am stumbled upon this video, I am experiencing this kind of attachment atm and this situation gives me anxiety each days. This video somehow lift that heavy burden on my chest and I would like thank you for such an enlightening explanations :)
@med_b18
@med_b18 5 ай бұрын
I just got out from 6 y relationship. I Lost myself during this time, at the moment i realized we broke up I just fell on the ground and i couldnt breathe. Dont let the wrong people destroy your self esteem and your goals, especially during med school 😅
@kimmikaha7036
@kimmikaha7036 2 ай бұрын
Thank you Andrew for this video 🙏 I will go and try to apply the things you said in this video Currently talking with a girl that I created this “perfect projection” of her and it hurted our relationship Everyone like this comment so I can comeback and tell how is everything going
@kaizer2385
@kaizer2385 7 ай бұрын
I've learned what you discussed the hard way. It resonated with me and how I handled that dark part of my past. Looking back, if I knew these when I needed it, I would have handled it much quicker and cleaner. Great video.
@ljus1c
@ljus1c 4 ай бұрын
best video for self improvement i ve ever watch,thank you man 🙌
@Iloveshihtzus
@Iloveshihtzus 6 ай бұрын
This 18min video has literally helped me understand a breakup that I had been trying to get over in the past . It has helped me understand that whole relationship… Thank you so much
@justinrobinson9583
@justinrobinson9583 5 ай бұрын
Brilliant production. The point at 13:10 is priceless and delivered with such an A-ha moment!
@wisdomfromthecave
@wisdomfromthecave 4 ай бұрын
i just filed for divorce after 35 years! thank you! i needed this!
@kadlys1
@kadlys1 Ай бұрын
Very beautiful speech. I think that we creating image of our expectations about not only people but situations too. It is soo relaxing let go all these thoughts 😊
@nicksmoot8293
@nicksmoot8293 5 ай бұрын
Best video I’ve ever seen regarding this topic. It’s something I’ve struggled with up to this point in my life, but this video very well could have just changed it for me
@Lauschini
@Lauschini 6 ай бұрын
Excellent video! Thank you for sharing these ideas with the world in such a kind, loving and respectful way.
@andrewvanhoff
@andrewvanhoff 6 ай бұрын
Thank you so much! Glad it resonated with you!
@waxifalee
@waxifalee 5 ай бұрын
Honestly, the only video I ever needed on relationship advice.
@Christian-oq2sd
@Christian-oq2sd 6 ай бұрын
I love your expressions when you’re speaking, your eyes are speaking too, not only your lips.
@MannysVisionStudio
@MannysVisionStudio 12 күн бұрын
What happened to just genuinely liking spending time together as much as possible? And that being that? Where are those people? Because those are the people I want in my life, genuine to the core and just want to be around me and I want to be around them. I’m done with these mind games
@fentusiasta6575
@fentusiasta6575 5 ай бұрын
Thank you for this video. Really lifted a gigant weight from my body. A 5 years realationship ended, and I'm chasing her like an idiot.
@johndtwaldron
@johndtwaldron 6 ай бұрын
I agree completely with this. But my inner child finds it so hard lol
@vaishnavityagi4680
@vaishnavityagi4680 6 ай бұрын
True
@Sandyficslick
@Sandyficslick 6 ай бұрын
I’m so glad I watched this when I really needed this. Been having a rough day mentally reflecting about a friendship of mine and this spoke to me in a deeper level. Thank you. The way you convey these thoughts are extremely helpful
@dannystark7668
@dannystark7668 5 ай бұрын
Hi sandy 👋
@jonmann4980
@jonmann4980 Күн бұрын
Very good analogy about the pushy salesman, I wanted to buy my car from the guy who said “let me know if you need anything” and walked away
@nkosilein
@nkosilein 6 ай бұрын
I don't know how in the world you kept me so attentive like that. 🎉
@ProgRokDemon
@ProgRokDemon 13 күн бұрын
This video really helped me realize how unhealthy I was being in my relationship with my girlfriend, I was so scared to lose her that I ended up developing bad habits. Thank you so much
@laughingcoffin2907
@laughingcoffin2907 5 ай бұрын
This happened to me just yesterday. She ended the relationship because she keeps on losing her interest and feelings towards me. She admitted that I treated her so good like a princess and gives her what she wants, she even told me that she asked for a "green flag guy that treats her right" and when she found me she's sure that God answered her prayers and I'm that guy but she ended it because we're not for each other and she doesn't love me and only love how I treat her
@lancemarchetti8673
@lancemarchetti8673 5 ай бұрын
I'm sorry to hear that she didn't see your true value. Someone else will come along..
@mega408
@mega408 5 ай бұрын
You’re lucky. She could have just kept milking you until she found someone she wants. That would have sucked as you would have wasted years on her. At least now, you can finally move on.
@ronnyt2793
@ronnyt2793 5 ай бұрын
⁠@@mega408facts. I thanked my ex (4 hrs ago) when she broke up with me. We sat. Talked . Cried. Had a hug and a kiss and that was it . I thanked her for being respectful and not waiting any longer than the week she was feeling off.
@plaidmustache
@plaidmustache 5 ай бұрын
Me too man. Same thing.
@TourTime98
@TourTime98 4 ай бұрын
😢 Very sad bro. I felt you.
@abish6
@abish6 2 ай бұрын
We all are attatched to something or someone, “let it go” to me is a way to avoid working on the way you get attached to everything, all we are responsible for is of building healthy attachments. My opinion here is…this “philosophy” of letting go of everything is not realistic and even inhuman, people are meant to connect to others since the very beginning. But this is just my input, I totally respect yours and I am pretty sure this works for some people.
@swayamgupta5058
@swayamgupta5058 6 ай бұрын
Great video bro...I could literally see you explain me here...i will try the exercise and i hope everyone who's watching this video does too and get over insecurities
@Andrea_Montemurro
@Andrea_Montemurro 5 ай бұрын
I really enjoyed the video, but I think that 'letting go' while aiming to obtain what you want wouldn't fix the problem. To me, the key is to find out who you really are and start liking yourself without the intention of attracting anyone. Just love yourself ❤
@andrewvanhoff
@andrewvanhoff 5 ай бұрын
Totally agreed! This video is aimed at people who are fresh out of a breakup and hurting, so I figured the best approach would be to relatively gently introduce the concepts of attachment, letting go vs clinging, and so on. Just as a way to reach people who would otherwise be unfamiliar with the topic, and looking for a quick fix to a painful situation. But I absolutely agree that the deeper opportunity in letting go is certainly not an easy problem fix, but in understanding and shifting the way we relate to the world in the first place.
@sked11
@sked11 6 ай бұрын
Dating over the past few months taught me that I should be alone and try to make myself happy. I was lonely and miserable coping with friends, sports, and video games before the 5 year relationship and I am doing the same shit after it ended. New activities are just that, another thing to fill the day with but coming home to an empty bed and a phone devoid of any interaction beyond friends or family is fucking depressing. Maybe instead of being generous and insecure I will come out self absorbed and secure after I am "Healed."
@toumeigirl9293
@toumeigirl9293 6 ай бұрын
I feel the same way too, I hope you will finally heal.
@yqyolo878
@yqyolo878 6 ай бұрын
The way you explained make it so clear and understandable and your words freshens my mind. Thank you
@petefranchella9125
@petefranchella9125 2 ай бұрын
every now and then I need a reminder about these things. Thanks - you articulate very well
@subbtopp
@subbtopp 6 ай бұрын
brilliant absolutely on the nose, I've been going through this transformation the last two years and feel happier and healthier for it.
@marguskiis7711
@marguskiis7711 6 ай бұрын
Why you watch these videos then?
@SarumanDeWhite
@SarumanDeWhite 2 ай бұрын
Three minutes in and I’m obtaining value here - Get more SELF-SUFFICIENT. - INCREASE MY VALUE and therefore BECOME MORE ATTRACTIVE. Thank you very much for these mental vitamins.
@mt5882
@mt5882 5 ай бұрын
Thanks Andrew, this really helps me understanding my current situation !
@StevoSparta-tt5vu
@StevoSparta-tt5vu 6 ай бұрын
I really like this video. True….I want her back, but in a new relationship. I’ve realized I was a “nice guy”, have done a 180 and can attest to love yourself and your life will change. I have had so much more luck with just meeting people and friendships now; heck my relationships in general are better. The difficulty? We are married, have a two year old and she is under the impression that there is the perfect match for her somewhere. This video summarizes the solution and the problem all at once. I’ll think on it
@ImronRamadhan
@ImronRamadhan 4 ай бұрын
Out of all the videos and podcasts I've watched and listened to, yours is the one that helped me the most to move on and let go of the past. Thank you, thank you, thank you-really, thank you!
@jeffreypaszko3473
@jeffreypaszko3473 6 ай бұрын
Great analysis , I think we are all in some instances struggle with being wounded and search for wholeness and healing . A perfect explanation of how we sabotage our relationships and foster within ourselves a belief that we are not good enough nor will we ever be . I. enjoyed this video very much and look forward to others by this insightful coach!
@asmrfoodieuk7965
@asmrfoodieuk7965 6 ай бұрын
That feels like truth to me, if we were good enough we would have someone.
@socialsid
@socialsid 8 күн бұрын
Always remamber: "no matter how sweet mango is there is always someone who will not like mangoes"
@ChazRegal
@ChazRegal 5 ай бұрын
Easily the best video ive watched on this topic from the dozens ive gone through. Absolutely nailed it and so badly needed to hear and validate all this. Got a new subscriber 🙏🏼 How are you only at 12k??
@hridyanshusharma4569
@hridyanshusharma4569 5 ай бұрын
this is the most amazing video on this topic
@TheFlygon13
@TheFlygon13 2 ай бұрын
I cried the whole video and I still don’t quite understand what you mean but I needed to hear this
@marcogalindo3408
@marcogalindo3408 5 ай бұрын
I found this video when I needed it most, thank you Andrew!
@enchillpreneur
@enchillpreneur 2 ай бұрын
Fantasy Bonding is what he's diving deeper into in this one
@gjin141
@gjin141 3 ай бұрын
This has been really helpful. I'm going through a painful breakup and need some self reflection
@michaelhill2933
@michaelhill2933 6 ай бұрын
It could also be chasing reciprocation, which isn't healthy either. If they aren't reciprocating, you also need to limit access or let go
@b_jwright24
@b_jwright24 5 ай бұрын
This is perfect timing. Girl and I mutually split since she just wasn’t ready for a serious relationship at the time. We mentioned eventually getting back together once she heals and she’s ready. I see her at work so this’ll be quite interesting for the both of us
@LaloShiny
@LaloShiny 7 ай бұрын
Bros been dropping bangers
@florence.tsai.etw.
@florence.tsai.etw. 5 ай бұрын
Thank you for making this video! The exercise helps. I feel much better after doing the exercise. It’s amazing!
@lebonar19
@lebonar19 5 ай бұрын
Love this Video, thank you:) You are whole on your own. Your believe that you need someone else is wrong. So freeing
@viniciusdss
@viniciusdss 5 ай бұрын
Authenticity as much it might seem frequently (and often times it truly is) as something deeply personal and individualistic. When you are with someone you feel a connection with. Being authentic becomes something larger than oneself, it becomes also the will and the desire to build, to compromise and to achieve together and as a result of this conversion of thought, feeling and intention.
@hayyyitstay
@hayyyitstay 6 ай бұрын
This is the video I never knew I needed
@evolutionzero1705
@evolutionzero1705 4 ай бұрын
This video is great man got out of a relationship two months ago it was hard bc she dumped me for these reasons and now we talked for a brief moment just to say we hope we can be friends in the future
@anthonycrowley9920
@anthonycrowley9920 3 ай бұрын
Thank you I needed this I went to America thinking someone loved me little did I know she had another guy more fool me.This guy is like glue he has no life of his own he's with the girl 24/7.
@wen76nyc1
@wen76nyc1 2 ай бұрын
this is INCREDIBLE ! Fantastic info, thanks.
@charlottejohnson9394
@charlottejohnson9394 4 ай бұрын
You are absolutely right!!!! Let them Go!!!!!
@angiep3346
@angiep3346 6 ай бұрын
I so much needed this beautiful message. Thank you! ❤❤❤❤❤
@rosee3337
@rosee3337 2 ай бұрын
I really like your voice and the way you explain things 💯👏
@shalakalahoti
@shalakalahoti 6 ай бұрын
He is 100% spot on
@thatRoadster
@thatRoadster 6 ай бұрын
Literally one of the best message in dating especially helped me since I feel like I am chasing her a little more
@confusedsapien
@confusedsapien 5 ай бұрын
Thank you so much! The best 18 minutes I spent today ✨
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