The Machine Stole The Precious Blood

[@Hakita]

Incomprehensible, thank you

[@Florescentia02]

hakita pls restock the gabriel body pillow

[@Vector123]

who tf is hakita and why he is pinned bruhhh

[@mannequia8294]

@@Vector123 Show some respect that's lead developer Hakita Ultrakill

[@Vector123]

@@mannequia8294 nahh just some noname bruh

[@JAD132]

the hakita human

[@sicklysweetdenouement]

it pleases me that the art of sentence mixing will never die in the form of "marisa stole the precious thing" edits

[@NeoNovastar]

Preserved by YTPs, TF2, and Touhou. As it should be

[@sicklysweetdenouement]

@@NeoNovastar Unfortunately, its slowly dieing in the TF2sphere due to actually good AI. It will probably never die, but its phasing out.

[@coolboyyo654]

i love when they actually mix the japanese part it's always funny

[@NeoNovastar]

​@@sicklysweetdenouementnooooooo

[@Aedlmonrl]

​@@sicklysweetdenouement as always touhou will keep the ancient arts while still moving forward, just like Gensokyo

[@justaspoopyghost8879]

I turned on subtitles and "English - Ultrakill" Ah, yes, my favorite dialect, *ULTRAKILL*

[@Aedlmonrl]

HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE??

[@stresswaves01]

should've been Machinish for our Canadian blood-seeking friends

[@father_John_Ward]

​@@Aedlmonrl confirmed

[@DragonClaudz]

Hell's largest tsundere

[@kyohrotf]

How much do you think someone would have to pay Gianni to get him to sing this, asking for a friend

[@Touwei]

Tell your friend a trusted tertiary source claims the answer to be "at least one cartoon money bag's worth" and "to leave it in sight of the masked individual grinning behind the corner of the town bank"

[@lordpumpkinhead265]

I don't know if you could get Gianni to sing the Japanese part, but I'd damn like to see someone try.

[@ReyHunter]

Like, between 0-200$ on cameo, because if it's funny enough for him, then he will make it for free/with discount (depends on his mood)

[@ShorkBoi]

@@lordpumpkinhead265 Me too. I remember how people got the Senator Armstrong VA to do the "My source is that I made it the fuck up". Maybe we can get something like that with Vianni?

[@Giolopy]

@@ShorkBoiVianni 🧌🧌🧌

[@The_VHS]

I love how much of this is just him screaming and swearing.

[@RealLofef]

you know its entirely possible that we can make gianni sing this cause hes a silly lil meme guy

[@Vi3Voide]

the broken japanese is part of the charm tho

[@RealLofef]

@@Vi3Voide just ask gianni to sing it terribly!

[@MagikalKrabical]

Gianni singing in japanese perfectly would also be funny

[@jonnaas]

Bro i literally played touhou ONCE and i cannot escape from touhou ever again

[@ayaza_7azu]

Who the hell plays touhou?

[@jonnaas]

@@ayaza_7azu well, i did obviously.

[@N_Tertainment7]

No matter where you go, it always leads back to Touhou

[@SHinierthennyourforehead]

KINO. Touhou x Ultrakill crossover fucking legendary.

[@Koish445]

i feel like this is gonna be a thing in act 3

[@victorvirgili4447]

Sideways Virtue blast is basically Master Spark already

[@TheTlank]

@@victorvirgili4447 i never thought about that

[@oopsiexist]

“I’d like to call this Touhou’s Bizarre Adventure” -Max0r

[@soup.sailor]

i was just listening to a random playlist when this started playing. i thought it was just the original song and when i heard gabriel's voice i thought i had actually gone insane from all the ultrakilling i have witnessed in the past 2 weeks. amazing, watching this video feels like getting hit by a truck, thank you

[@gravelmage_]

This is exactly how a seizure feels like

[@palecandy]

1:11 i tried not laughing throughout this video but this is where it all just came loose. thank you for making this

[@GentlemanLU]

Same lol

[@keiishere511]

*FU FU FU FU FU FU*

[@stresswaves01]

other things came loose all at once during this video as well

[@darlinqq_]

I think he's mad

[@costconium]

homed stuck ....

[@Lessen0]

0:49 the "NOTHING BUT SCRAP" jumpscared me lol, the first few milliseconds of it sound like someone shouting IRL beside me

[@V3ND1NGMACH1N3]

NOTHING BUT SCRAP!!!!!!!!!

[@kenji8316]

Touhou 19: MrBeast and Weakest Creature

[@legokirbymanchannel]

More like MrBeast and the Mere Object.

[@hello-ds8wt]

this game has one of the best communities ever

[@TheBrandyAle]

Zun better be writing some of this shit down. We need that touhou x ultrakill crossover

[@honey-snap]

i recently found out abt this song, right? and i found out it was those songs constantly ytpmv'ed and i was like "ok how can i shove my current interest into this" because thats like how my brain works. the sight of this video nearly gave me a heart attack, and watching it almost asphyxiated me. in short, thank you

[@s.o.7356]

I rarely leave comments on videos, but I must on this one - it feels like my past and future interests are crossing over in the BEST WAY POSSIBLE. When I was 14 years old, I would watch videos JUST like this but with Meta Knight from Kirby, Smash Brothers, or with Pokemon, and I would be FLOODED with creative excitement and inspiration to make something like this of my own, but within my very weird Paracosm interpretations of my favorite characters/husbandos. And now here I am at 26 years old, watching something that nearly gives me those exact feelings of elation and fun joy, but with something I adore as an adult. I am deeply and genuinely in love with V1, and I am super duper autistic for Gabriel - he's a "family friend" as I like to say! Basically I really love what I see on screen. ♥ If I showed this to my younger self, she would be *so* mystified by these characters who did not exist in 2011, characters who are yet to be in a future that seemed like an eternity to come .... and probably she'd start making up crazy and whacky stuff for Gabriel because he is an divine being .... and probably crush on HIM instead and wonder how and why her adult self ends up becoming smitten for the FUCKING SECURITY CAMERA! THANK YOU for making this. Seriously. In a way, I experienced some strong nostalgia of my youth but with a modern major interest. ♥♥♥

[@Ze12365]

1:30 I hear this as “Jesus fucking Christ”

[@NeoNovastar]

It REALLY sounds like it lmfaooo

[@NekuZX]

I love this community

[@Ze12365]

Same

[@machine.angel.777]

This is wonderful, he's so angry it sounds like gachimuchi at times.

[@neocryst]

this is the most horrendous thing ive seen.. i fucking love it.

[@hotaru44]

This parody has introduced me to a multitude of masterpieces and now MSTPT is on a constant loop in my head

[@tuna4somereasons]

I wasn't expecting to stumble into a masterpiece like this just before I sleep

[@Benjae_]

can't wait for people to start using this on a specific type of windows videos

[@ShorkBoi]

Neither can I

[@TheManDude]

I just noticed: *The fucking dialect is Ultrakill.*

[@DemopanTF2]

I wonder if Hakita will include this as an Easter egg?

[@stardust-reverie]

this is legitimately some of the most cursed sentence mixing ive ever heard and that is HIGH praise

[@MaeTheDoctor]

I love how the video suggests Gabriel only hates v1/is chasing him because v1 threw a coin at him lol

[@fanvrsuisseyay3540]

help

[@jamsand5949]

YE

[@fanvrsuisseyay3540]

@@jamsand5949 HEEEELP

[@HoldmyApplejuice]

as a touhou and ultrakill fan i feel things about this

[@MagikalKrabical]

this is a gem in the ultrakill community

[@thekeithfulbarrums]

I like how due to their weapon models, the streetcleaner and sentry look like they’re playing a guitar and a trumpet. Meanwhile swordsmachine is just stood there lol

[@annapotat0987]

the japanese splicing is amazing

[@brainrunbygoblin]

this video got me into ultrakill

[@da1su_am]

I fuckingg love this lmfaoo

[@Crater1221]

You successfully sold a copy of Ultrakill. Nice job!

[@megasocky]

the sound effects blending in with the song is actually insane

[@KingCogo]

i understood everything in this song

[@MattTheTraidor]

Genuine love went into this project, keep up the great work!

[@BennyBoyOwO]

The fucks made me laugh in non-euclidian.

[@miiversian]

this got me into ultrakill, thanks for your service

[@weeferwafer2316]

HORRIBLE in the best way possible :3 thank you for this

[@connerparks5638]

the subtitles helped

[@N_Tertainment7]

V1 stole the precious thing

[@nguyenlinhhoabinh]

Wo-to-free

[@toasteroven7683]

So this is what hell is like

[@enragedcoffey4922]

Even if its not my taste it looks great

[@not_holl0w]

i think he needs to right his wrong

[@elitemetropolice4551]

gabiel

[@silkenemperor]

Why am I only hearing about this now

[@aIexemre]

AAAAAAAHHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

[@RealityMasterRogue]

This is both terrible and captivating

[@Fryz_ee]

Sounds like jerma

[@loogii_]

the machine stole the precious FUCKING blood

[@ilovetea7804]

English-Ultrakill

[@jfiffl7]

Bald Peoples Golden locks be like this

[@NeoNovastar]

Where the fuck is the "RUN LIKE HELL" sample from I need to hear Gianni screaming that 😂

[@ConsarnitTokkori]

if you haven't already figured this out, it and a bunch of other lines here are from unfortunate spacemen

[@NeoNovastar]

​@@ConsarnitTokkori I had not, thank you!!

[@Kitin9083]

Touhou everywhere... And I shame that I missed this parody at the time...

[@jamsand5949]

YES

[@Jerkgrrrl]

I love this

[@Ne0nV0id]

he just like me fr

[@レミリア-7777]

このキャラたちはなんのゲームに出るんですか？

[@eletvizviz-redux]

ultrakill

[@dice7584]

ULTRAKILL

[@NeoNovastar]

I hope you have discovered Ultrakill

[@sharplily]

what the hell did i just watch and hear?

[@bbqfever1945]

Why does the editing make him sound like Jerma?

[@kooolainebulger8117]

GO WHITE BOY GO!

[@francielSouza-o3b]

wasn't this namd ''Machine stole the precious fucking blood''?

[@chocokcat]

1:11

[@triple_check]

Awhta

[@MoldyPotato49]

ultrakill if it was written by vivziepop

[@lamzeyy]

it dosent fit tbh

[@ProfessionalRalseiEnjoyer]

That's the point

[@PixelHead777]

calling all @gianni matragrano