The Magic Voyage - Nostalgia Critic

[@CaptainSpycrab]

Fun fact: Two of Columbus' three ships were almost sunk by a shipworm infestation.

[@kendalldalton3111]

Wow really

[@littleo4844]

Ohhoho!

[@EarlyGene]

CaptainSpycrab Then that must be how the creators of “The Magic Voyage” came up with the idea of an anthromorphic shipworm and an evil lord made up of a swarm as characters.

[@parker-boy98]

@@EarlyGene He's a woodworm.

[@christopherpiskorz1395]

nostalgia critic: oh gee why didn’t they use that part of the story

[@josephrowe849]

"In 1492, Christopher Columbus got us all a day off from skewl." -Eric Cartman

[@TheFoolishSamurai]

"The land, hand it over."

[@johnniewalker877]

His toothy face when he says that is meme worthy

[@hra_Najimi99]

Lana gets an Eevee instead of Ash 17:01 to us.

[@snaketooth0943]

@@johnniewalker877 Someone SHOULD make a meme out of that.

[@JingleJangle256]

Well, when you hava da guns, you taka da land.

[@snaketooth0943]

@@JingleJangle256 What's that a reference to?

[@slyngn7847]

I'm starting to think that the Germans made this to make fun of American culture.

[@meandmybobbygee1812]

Probably to make fun of Italians, too. And bugs.

[@meandmybobbygee1812]

Yeah, and Italians. And bugs. And the queen and king from that time... This movie is really offensive!

[@notyetrain]

+Sly Ngn No. Our filmmakers just suck.

[@rayray8630]

They were actually correct about Columbus landing in central america and not north. He was more likely to see an aztec temple than a teepee.

[@Outcastbacca]

DatUhu and some used tax loopholes

[@Ghosty144]

Fun fact: woodworms are actually baby beetles. They can also cause massive damage to wooden structures. Had Pico brought his siblings along, this movie could have been over much sooner.

[@ethandoesathing2711]

+Ghosty144 One can only dream...

[@trippcory]

Here's another fun fact: King Ferdinand's advisors really DID try to discourage the king from making the deal with Columbus. One of the few things the film got right

[@aualga]

And that's bad, because?

[@thehowlinggamer5784]

@@aualga when you consider the mass genocide Columbus' men did to the natives, compounded by our own of the native americans...

[@aualga]

I was talking about ending the movie sooner.

[@thekippster4749]

I remember my 6th grade teacher made us watch this to introduce the Christopher Columbus Unit. I don't think she watched it beforehand. The silence after was awkward...

[@supermariofan03]

I guess it’s a pick your poison situation. What would you rather your teacher put on? This or Ridley Scott’s 1492?

[@Phoebe5448]

@@supermariofan03 I'd rather watch Alien.

[@andresacosta4832]

@@supermariofan03 I'd pick 1492 just because it has a kickass soundtrack and tons upon tons of memeworthy cringe moments. Magic Voyage just has the Al Jarreau song at the end, Mr. Puppet, and a few memeworthy cringe moments.

[@LilyZerep]

Ha I wonder which is worse, this or one of the Titanic Animated Movies (either the one with Rapping Dog or the one with the Giant Puppy Octopus) 😅

[@Mygg_Jeager]

​@@LilyZerepI'm sorry, the WHAT

[@onemochibi]

As a german I have to say: This movie is pure pain.

[@AngryCerealMilk]

I know...it just hurts

[@InferiorBeing]

Werner on the other hand was and is pure gold! :D

[@WillieManga]

Mochibi It's like if Uwe Boll made a historical movie... Kinda like when he made a WWII movie.

[@WillieManga]

Seramic _Skeptical That is not fair. This has some great talent behind it. The writers should be the ones who are be executed.

[@andyshistorylessons8278]

Ja! Ich denke du hast die recht! Auch, grüss von Kentucky, USA! Auch, ich bin nicht Deutsche, ich bin ein Amerikan. Auf Wiedersehen!

[@PixarShark]

My mom was the librarian when I was in elementary and I remember seeing this video on the shelf while I was there after school one day. I almost watched it, but if I recall correctly my mom discouraged it. ..........Did she know? XD Thanks, Mom.

[@kendalldalton3111]

Mothers always know

[@CLDJ227]

Similar to when Doug's Mom kept him from seeing garbage pail kids as a kid lol.

[@davhend]

"You know, for kids!": The Beta version of "A FAMILY Picture".

[@caidalee1994]

I laughed way too hard at "The land. Hand it over."

[@christopherspielbergproduc7128]

Me too. XD

[@jaygooese4242]

Same here

[@coledakers6127]

17:08

[@EnderHeart5911]

His face when he said, "The land... Hand it over." XD

[@redbigun]

EnderHeart5911 I imagine Columbus wasn't that nice about it.

[@Reapermaskhybrid]

EnderHeart5911 Yeah, it's delightfully dark looking.

[@michaelwilliamybarra2409]

17:08

[@ShyGuy83]

R.I.P. Dom Deluise and Mickey Rooney.

[@chinococoa6743]

Bye-bye, Andy Hardy and Fatso.

[@Spelter]

Rip Bud Spencer

[@catherinepablo3631]

Boooring movie.

[@christopherpiskorz1395]

Mickey Rooney is chasing that money in the great big it’s a mad mad mad mad in the sky he will be missed

[@jeremyroskes5391]

And don't forget Irene cara

[@epicrapfan73]

11:55 "(singing) On the sea, New world to see, You, your crew and your Johnson!"

[@98953812]

Doug: "What?"

[@fordshojoe8080]

Then they fish and whip out the wonder boner 🤣🤣. Then none of them would drink Wilkins coffee. That's the stuff history books won't tell you.

[@MissBarker93]

The fact that an insect knows more about the world than Christopher Columbus does is probably the most believable thing in this movie.

[@fangchick93]

I would majorly respect this movie if it actually included the countless murders he committed.

[@K37-h1z]

​@@fangchick93ya that totally fits in a kids movie numbnuts

[@Xarazel]

yeah such a shame since the natives were all peaceful and never slaughtered each other before that...@@fangchick93

[@Yami-mugoni613]

@@XarazelI’m sure they had some beef with each other but not on that skill

[@Smacgregor88]

Makes as much sense as a woodworm telling the story of Noah's ark. No really, same studio, MS Film.

[@klimmr]

At 15:34, did the animation just get 10x better or is it just me?

[@kalo47powercore]

Christopher Columbus turned into Dr Doofinshurf for a few seconds! 😂

[@matthewhutchinson9353]

Yeah it did

[@Evilriku13]

the weird thing is it got bad again basically when they are out of the aztec temple so.. I wonder what happened to the budget at that time.

[@SwearfoGod.]

Probably the first scene that got animated

[@jaredbeilstein209]

The one good thing about this movie? The Swarm Lord looks pretty cool.

[@zeitgeistindustries1792]

Yea, you can't deny that. He should have been in a better movie.

[@psychetitan3529]

@@zeitgeistindustries1792 In ferngully.

[@zooemperor3954]

luke atkinson or the sequel to Ferngully. He’d make Ferngully 2 a whole heap better and it’d make him as chilling as Hexxus was in the first film.

[@98953812]

Also, that ending song is kind of catchy.

[@WillieManga]

Waste of a pretty cool design.

[@DeathsPictures]

At 11:40 "How did that get past any German censorship? Don't they have any shame?" They don't, as a matter of fact.

[@TheRezro]

DeathsPictures Censorship in Germany is totally stupid, they censor Carmagedon for example, but allow such clear crap go through.

[@Crystalkat102]

TheRezro I dunno sometimes German censorship is pretty funny 41.media.tumblr.com/321da30684af1a7323a77b0f79bde2e0/tumblr_n8iarl6wa51r5trzro1_1280.jpg

[@Crystalkat102]

***** Man I don't know what kind of porn you've been watching, but if it involves ninjas and big ass swords sign me up.

[@lunad27]

DeathsPictures Anybody else think of the German scheiße video from the South Park movie?

[@Crystalkat102]

***** Yeah I know. I was too :3

[@MaddieB]

I lost it at the telescope being pulled out. The little dance he does after makes it that much more perfect.

[@ianimatethings7893]

It's so weird that some of the animation in this movie looks really freaking good (15:34 and the minute after, excluding the terrible dubbing) and the rest looks awful. It bothers me so much that some characters are always shaky.

[@WeirdWonderful]

The budget was probably a jar of pickled wieners so....

[@fhb3]

11:24 From a G-rating to PG-13 in seconds...

[@joffreybaratheon4904]

Complete with Beavis and Butthead dubbed on top

[@djnorris1572]

A familyyyy picture.

[@TheFett79]

Read a book indeed.

[@Ccarbe]

I would too

[@tayh3645]

Y'know.....as long as it's not the fictional tale about Christopher Columbus, written by the writer Washington Irving.... Author of such fictional classics as "the Legend of Sleepy Hollow"....

[@MeepChangeling]

To be fair, this is about as historically actuate as the standard Columbus story told in schools.

[@arthas640]

@@petalsinthebreeze true. My school did a bit of both, they said that he set sail to find India and to prove the earth was round, and they also got him mixed up with Cortez and said that he killed alot of Aztecs.

[@MidnightDarkness666]

@@arthas640 A school. A place of education. I presume funded by the local governing body. Made that big of a fuck up? My faith just died. Now I have to clarify some things that schools leave out: Columbus explored the lesser Antilles, the north coat of South America and the eastern coat of Central America. He didn't find North America/The US. He encountered the Lucayan, Taíno, and Arawak tribes. The Taino got massively screwed over by this as now, although people still identify themselves as such the Taino as a distinct group were wiped out.

[@NashmanNash]

@@arthas640 Wow..Everything your school taught u was wrong :D

[@Johnston212]

I know, right? People still think that he proved the world was round thousands of years after it was proven, when his plans were based on incorrect math. And he never came close to even seeing the Florida keys...

[@lilchristuten7568]

@@MidnightDarkness666 Central America is a part of North America.

[@GreenKnight41]

To answer your question at 4:05 , he did say he was a "bookworm" so maybe he read a book and found out that educated people have known that the world was round since Aristotle and maybe only a few really dumb peasants thought it was flat. And fyi, Christopher's big idea was that it was smaller then the Greeks thought, and that he could sail over to India without having to go through the English channel or around Africa. He was wrong. The earth was the exact size the Greeks thought. But he still thought he was in India which is why he called the Native Americans "Indians"... He also enslaved girls as young as nine, and killed settlers who opposed him when he tried to instill himself as King of the new land he found... Why do we have a day celebrating this guy?

[@darrelsam419]

+44Ryoga44 This just made this movie even worse, since they portray him as a bumbling idiot. He was an asshole in real life.

[@johnalogue9832]

+44Ryoga44 Even the Egyptians knew the world was round! Anyways, Columbus was indeed a MASSIVE asshole.

[@GreenKnight41]

ProbeVoyages Seriously? The Egyptians? Like because of the Greeks or did they figure it out on their own?

[@johnalogue9832]

They had a lot of sailing. When a ship goes over the horizon, it's not FALLING, because the people came back. Egypt had a few mathy people too, so they figured it out.

[@GreenKnight41]

ProbeVoyages Wow... Those guys were smart.

[@snaketooth0943]

"The beaver chews through the honeycomb" sounds like a euphemism for the condom breaking to me.

[@Khoros-Mythos]

Locking this one in the vault in case the relevant conversation ever happens to occur.

[@Double-R-Nothing]

​@Khoros-Mythos Yeah, I'm filing this next to "Communists in the funhouse" as a period euphemism.

[@kuribayashi84]

On behalf of Germans everywhere... I apologize.

[@Quinntus79]

Don't apologize. I'm willing to bet the US made a movie completely botching German history so, I'd call it even.

[@jay-white]

@@Quinntus79 Most likely more

[@nerdsman567]

Is it bad that I watch this Nostalgia Critic review as a tradition every year on Columbus Day? 😅

[@dragonninja3655]

No, though I certainly would read and watch other things about him as well. It's garbage how schools these days are trying to make Combulus out as evil. He was an amazing man who was actually friends with many of the natives. He helped the good ones fight the bad ones, intervened to get them lesser punishments, he even adopted a native kid when his father was killed. He didn't even want to take slaves or anything like that, the royals made him and he figured he could protect them better than whoever else they sent. Not to mention these natives were the people who just 5 years earlier(1487AD) murdered 80,400 people over the course of a few days to consecrate their new temple to Huitzilopchtli. Can you imagine what we would do if we came across people doing that nowadays? The natives weren't a peaceful, hippy bunch living with nature, many of them were extremely vicious and not someone you would want on your doorstep. All the supposed bad stuff he did was taken from one document written by his political rival sent to the royal family. That would be like trusting a letter by Donald Trump about Hilary Clinton. It's ridiculous how some people are trying to defame one of the greatest explorers in history as well as a great person which we could all gain a lot from emulating.

[@neru4788]

nerdsman567 no is not! I do the same for chritsmas videos!

[@robertcarldecker]

Same. I’d watch this and binge watch all of the movies Chris Columbus directed such as Home Alone and Mrs. Doubtfire! (But not Pixels!)

[@pon2oon]

Why Columbus sailed the ocean blue!

[@Memelord2020]

No

[@NeoDerikik]

Yeah... Everybody knows that NY was built right next to the Inca temple!

[@Tytoalba777]

That's not an Inca temple, that's a Mayan Temple! Get your stereotypes right!

[@NeoDerikik]

James A Clouder Sorry, I am not that good at the history of south America.

[@gamebawesome]

Columbus found the West Indies and the Caribbean, not North America, that was the French, Dutch, and British.

[@xjerrylee22x]

Wouldn't that be Aztec, not Mayan?

[@ooohheldenring9770]

Aztec, Incans lived in South America, Peru to Ecuador and Colombia

[@AdiC87]

well, actually, Native Americans from North America weren't really lived in tepees. While they did so, they mostly done it while traveling or hunting. In the rest, they lived in great cities and settlements like Cahokia. When Europeans began to settle the North American continent, the natives were pretty much wiped out by disease coming in from the South where the Aztecs previously met with the Europeans and their smallpox. That's the reason why north American indians were portrayed as living in tepees, since they no longer had a large enough population to maintain those cities. :)

[@PyroGothNerd]

It also depended on the tribe

[@slipperyseagoose919]

Okay sure, Ill believe you because I know next to nothing about Native Americans.

[@canaanclb]

Only the ones on the Great Plains lived in tepees.

[@etrianregigigas1761]

I remember The Magic Voyage from my childhood, but for some reason I remember it being slower, more emotional, etc. Must be some weird childhood nostalgic mentality that fixes bad movies...

[@EarlyGene]

It might be an older and different English dub of this movie.

[@sirjanska9575]

It's very likely that you remember correctly since there was an earlier (albeit a less widely printed) english dub of the film involving an entirely different soundtrack and cast of voice actors.

[@USMC49er]

Not just nostalgia, but a different era of entertainment. Kids in the 80s-90s had to beg their parents to rent VHS or game cartridges to kill their boredom over the weekend. So absolutely mid to bad shows got higher marks from kids, as opposed to now where kids have tons of options.

[@substandardlysubpar9700]

I can't get over the fact that Corey Fieldmen, the kid who swung a machete into Jason-fucking-Voorhees' face, is in this movie.

[@arielfangirlmendez]

Me too besides he was in the lost boys as a vampire hunter and also a vampire in that 2nd tales from the crypt movie? who cares?

[@WerehogFan18]

He was also in The Goonies as Mouth. I'm sure he regrets voicing that annoying worm in this movie.

[@arielfangirlmendez]

WerehogFan18 You don't say?

[@Reapermaskhybrid]

substandardlysubpar He was also Sparx in Super Robot Monkey Team Hyper Force Go!

[@autobotproductions1244]

WerehogFan18 he was also Donatello in the first ninja turtles movie

[@AndrewsMagicandMore]

"...And his name was...the Care Bears!" ROTFL

[@josephrowe849]

The dude who said that looked like Elton John.

[@cheneethompson5756]

​@@josephrowe849yep!

[@ThisThingEaten]

"The Wonder Boner" gets me every time! God praise the commercial specials!

[@pharaohyami5000]

Strange that the Skip It commercial was used here, and was reviewed years later.

[@krisk9147]

And both of those Mickey Rooney preformances sound like Santa :D

[@5carecrow94]

He should review the sequel, The Magic Voyage 2: Genocide. Where Columbus murders and scalps hundreds of natives.

[@SQIRLDARKKON]

***** I know you were joking and all but that would make a great movie

[@5carecrow94]

SQIRLDARKKON It'd definitely be a hard R, but I'd give anything to see it made by the same animation studio. Especially if Columbus was still voiced by Dom Deluise XD "Dat scalp, she's a-coming a-right off!"

[@CodecrafterArtemis]

***** "Have you ever held the entrails of an English guy? Or bit the beating hearts of Spanish men? Can you shoot an arrow in some French guy's eyeball? Can you paint with the red colors in these men?"

[@theJOYSofANALpenetration]

***** I sense my presense is needed here.

[@LeopoldLitchenstein]

***** Spyglass dick of course!

[@iluvyurbles]

"There are two things that are infinite, Space and human stupidity; And I'm not to sure about the first one" According to Einstein, you're going to be at this for a long long time. humans can both the smartest things and stupider than a sack of rocks

[@kuro13wolf]

I don't care if this is an old video. Someone has to point out that Columbus *did not discover the United States of America*. He discovered an *island* from the *Caribbean* in the *continent* known as *America* by everyone except the US. OK? OK.

[@pkmn1260]

Rhyme Bito the Vikings discovered America A LOONG time before columbus did, Also, they did not commit mass genocide and slavery like Columbus did. IRL, Columbus was a total, and complete, A-hole. Also, the world at large DID NOT believe teh world was flat, that was a misconception, people had known the world was round since the Greek/Roman time period.

[@kuro13wolf]

William B I know these things, but I don't want to be picky. I just can't stand the generic American ignorance. No offense intended if you are in fact American.

[@pkmn1260]

Rhyme Bito I am American, and actually most of us HATE the guy and the stupid holiday around him. most of us actually DO know he did not discover america, as far as i know, it is not taught in school even anymore.

[@SUFHolbek]

William B Technically no one discover america, since it was already inhabited.

[@TheRezro]

Rhyme Bito You are funny you know? Columbus discovered New World (at least officially). It wasn't called America or even United States even long time after that, and yes he formally land on island (San Salvador probably). Also this crappy cartoon was made by Germans.

[@Pequenno54]

"Pico" stands for "penis" here in Chile. Way to begin with the characters names...

[@Pequenno54]

+redloiyu654jay xD

[@klimmr]

+Raul Rafael He's talking to his little worm. Goodnight everybody.

[@Pequenno54]

I remember on Newgrounds people celebrate "Pico's day" as it is the name of the mascot of NG... this seems to be a running joke of hidden meaning ._.

[@goran77ish]

I tought Columbus was more Spanish history, or world history then US. Afterall, what he descovered was not in US.

[@DinosaurFan88]

If this is how the English dub is, I'd really hate ro see the original version. Also, gotta love how Columbus has only 3-4 guys and a beetle larva accompanying him on just one ship in this film, as opposed to the dozens of crewmen manning three ships he actually had.

[@marquis911]

DinosaurFan88 Along with the 1200 or so slaves he brought back, a fraction of them coerced into sex.

[@MabuseXX]

I don‘t think that this movies tries to be historic accurate. And I also think that the audience knows that......at least in europe. By the way: it is a bad movies, regardless of his historic flaws.

[@jake06750]

Yeah I imagine the original German dub of this must be even worse.

[@zoruamaster2495]

nah i think the origional dub may have been...better i mean it the voicing would actually fit with the mouths, and just maybe, they may have parts that wasnt endless noise

[@kirkbupkis]

@@zoruamaster2495 just a guess but German words are way longer so it'd probably be even more talking.

[@fetamean]

I love the Channel Awesome KZbin channel. Rewatching all of the old NC episodes every day brings me great joy. It brings me back to the time when I first discovered the NC, and I binge watched his reviews for days on end. Also, I would hate to be the audio engineer/editor for this movie. I watched part of this movie, and the NC doesn't lie when he says there is always talking. It's so goddamn obnoxious.

[@JasTheFagge]

Gnarbro TaKa You mean you don't binge watch his reviews now?!

[@fetamean]

Silhouetters I did enough of that a couple years ago. I watched them over and over again. Now, I can rewatch them every day, and feel like it's the first time again.

[@JasTheFagge]

Gnarbro TaKa Good to hear :3

[@patrickcampbell45]

i do that now :D

[@jake06750]

Yeah and poorly editing your godawful movie to run at a full sprint doesn't do anything to cover up the atrociously bad animation, voice acting and overall story.

[@mactavish61]

Why does Columbus sound like the guy from The Room? "YOU'RE TEARING ME APART PICO"

[@cainbutler6291]

Tommy Wiseau...that guy...

[@JosephScarbrough]

Somehow, "You made squishy with the swarm" sounds more like an innuendo to me than, "The beaver eats through the honeycomb."

[@vedwalker3974]

I forgot how insulting this movie was to so many people!! Thank you Critic, for reminding of a dark time in my childhood!

[@annnee6818]

To answer your question if Germans have no shame: "No. We do not. And we like it that way!" :)

[@StevenDolce]

RIP Mickey Rooney.

[@NinteSegaRarew]

Steven Dolce And also Dom DeLuise, and now Al Jarreau.

[@KodytheRedFox]

And also Dan Haggerty and Irene Cara.

[@KangaKucha]

Um guys, the whole debate about the world being round was settled long before (I believe Arisote sloved it). In fact the Globe was invented in 1492 but not debated. Big fail!

[@pooman5380]

A Greek and a early medieval Saxon monk solve this years before the globe existed

[@ItWILLbeWONDERFUL_THERE]

I love Nostalgia Critic's Popeye impersonation. Sounds like Popeye was getting speech therapy lessons from Porky Pig. That's a hilarious thing.

[@Double-R-Nothing]

This is the most educational comment section I've ever seen!

[@dragonninja3655]

It's garbage how schools these days are trying to make Combulus out as evil. He was an amazing man who was actually friends with many of the natives. He helped the good ones fight the bad ones, intervened to get them lesser punishments, he even adopted a native kid when his father was killed. He didn't even want to take slaves or anything like that, the royals made him and he figured he could protect them better than whoever else they sent. Not to mention these natives were the people who just 5 years earlier(1487AD) murdered 80,400 people over the course of a few days to consecrate their new temple to Huitzilopchtli. Can you imagine what we would do if we came across people doing that nowadays? The natives weren't a peaceful, hippy bunch living with nature, many of them were extremely vicious and not someone you would want on your doorstep. All the supposed bad stuff he did was taken from one document written by his political rival sent to the royal family. That would be like trusting a letter by Donald Trump about Hilary Clinton. It's ridiculous how some people are trying to defame one of the greatest explorers in history as well as a great person which we could all gain a lot from emulating.

[@KnakuanaRka]

@@dragonninja3655 I’d love to hear more about the “one document by his political rival” thing; I’m not quite ready to totally accept him, but I do know that just trying to paint him (or any other historical figure) as one thing or the other is an oversimplification at best.

[@NashmanNash]

@@dragonninja3655 Ehm...wasn´t Columbus actually reprimanded for his treatment of the natives?.:Columbus was a dumb,cruel idiot...who actually thought that the scope of the earth is around 12000km...While it was actually quite known even back than that it is more like 40.000km...

[@dragonninja3655]

@@NashmanNash columbus hated the bad stuff he had to do with the natives but he has to do what the spanish royals said because they funded the mission and if he didn't they'd replace him and that person could be very bad. He fought against the bad natives to help the good natives he was friends with (the not child sacrificing, cannibals, etc), he even adopted a native child when his father, who he was friends with, died. Columbus was a good man in bad circumstances.

[@JaDangerz]

0:00-0:09 Someone distract him, I'll call the mental hospital

[@Ghostselkie]

Ute Koll? Not a long way to ... Uwe Boll!

[@SeMetin]

The female version of Uwe boll.

[@James76sManyFaces]

Metin Sener ...Ew.

[@warhammerguy]

Still less offensive than movies that tries to portray Columbus like a hero.

[@dragonninja3655]

Columbus is a hero. It's garbage how schools these days are trying to make Combulus out as evil. He was an amazing man who was actually friends with many of the natives. He helped the good ones fight the bad ones, intervened to get them lesser punishments, he even adopted a native kid when his father was killed. He didn't even want to take slaves or anything like that, the royals made him and he figured he could protect them better than whoever else they sent. Not to mention these natives were the people who just 5 years earlier(1487AD) murdered 80,400 people over the course of a few days to consecrate their new temple to Huitzilopchtli. Can you imagine what we would do if we came across people doing that nowadays? The natives weren't a peaceful, hippy bunch living with nature, many of them were extremely vicious and not someone you would want on your doorstep. All the supposed bad stuff he did was taken from one document written by his political rival sent to the royal family. That would be like trusting a letter by Donald Trump about Hilary Clinton. It's ridiculous how some people are trying to defame one of the greatest explorers in history as well as a great person which we could all gain a lot from emulating.

[@DreamBelief]

@@dragonninja3655 you can't really call him a great explorer. To be a great explorer you would need to be skilled at navigating to new places. He was not. He got badly lost and completely mistook his location. He wasn't even the one to make the sighting - that determines who discovers a place. Another man aboard did. He just took credit for it due to his position. That doesn't mean he's "evil" by any sense, but it does he mean he is definitely not a great explorer. He cannot hold a candle to those who are.

[@dragonninja3655]

He didn't really get lost, he hit a landmass he didn't know was there. And who cares who makes the sighting, Columbus was the navigator and the one in charge of the mission. Just because someone else on the boat saw the land first doesn't mean they "discovered" it. I'm not even sure how you could prove to have seen it first even. I'm sure many people saw it but weren't sure if it was land from so far a distance or not so they just didn't say anything. Just like you wouldn't not credit John cook with discovering New Zealand or Hawaii just because he wasn't the first person on the ship to see it. Columbus was famed for his navigational skills and he navigated across an unknown ocean during a historically dangerous time for weather and returned back to Spain to tell about it. Plus, he stayed determined and driven even after so many people turned down supporting his voyage. He kept fighting and searching until he got someone to agree. To say he isn't a great explorer is silly, he is one of the best in history. Almost everyone has him in the top ten explorers of all time.

[@Tornado1994]

@@dragonninja3655 Fuck Columbus. He was a Child Rapist and a War Criminal.

[@AnnaBee03]

Christopher Columbus was well....................... He was crazy.

[@dragonninja3655]

It's garbage how schools these days are trying to make Combulus out as evil. He was an amazing man who was actually friends with many of the natives. He helped the good ones fight the bad ones, intervened to get them lesser punishments, he even adopted a native kid when his father was killed. He didn't even want to take slaves or anything like that, the royals made him and he figured he could protect them better than whoever else they sent. Not to mention these natives were the people who just 5 years earlier(1487AD) murdered 80,400 people over the course of a few days to consecrate their new temple to Huitzilopchtli. Can you imagine what we would do if we came across people doing that nowadays? The natives weren't a peaceful, hippy bunch living with nature, many of them were extremely vicious and not someone you would want on your doorstep. All the supposed bad stuff he did was taken from one document written by his political rival sent to the royal family. That would be like trusting a letter by Donald Trump about Hilary Clinton. It's ridiculous how some people are trying to defame one of the greatest explorers in history as well as a great person which we could all gain a lot from emulating.

[@flamboyantly1812]

@@dragonninja3655 what?

[@EnclosedPoolArea]

@@dragonninja3655 Literally every single sentence you wrote is factually incorrect. It really is quite incredible.

[@dragonninja3655]

@@EnclosedPoolArea maybe actually read some history and do some research before you post comments that make you sound stupid. Actually, I'll be nice, not stupid, just uneducated.

[@EnclosedPoolArea]

@@dragonninja3655 No, you're hoping that someone who doesn't know anything about history will fall for your ridiculous word salad but unfortunately for you, you're not fooling anyone.

[@jackaweplushpro]

0:10 when the critic is so annoyed by a movie that he freaks out before the review even starts

[@cuteskeleton9381]

I just have to ask: why pick a wood worm for the main protagonist? It's such an obscure, not well known creature. I'm not saying replacing him with another insect/animal would have saved this movie in the slightest but they couldn't have picked something people are slightly familiar with?

[@GeneralSwishkabob]

Did anyone else notice the animation at 15:34? It's almost Disney-like

[@sorenthefilmbrony]

11:24 Craziest thing is that he pulled that spyglass out of there right when he said "genius." "Patrick, your genius is showing."

[@jay-white]

WHERE?!

[@danofsteel785]

1:48 Rooney was the voice of Tod as an adult in Disney's The Fox and the Hound 2:43 and Feldman was the voice of Copper as a puppy in the same movie

[@RaphBlade7]

Another Fun Fact: The idea that Columbus proved the Earth was round is a myth and common historical misconception. Heck the first Globe of the Earth was made a year before Columbus set sail. Most educated people at the time knew the Earth was spherical and the reason they thought nobody could make the trip was because they thought it was too far for a ship to sail and that they'd run out of provisions, not fall off the Flat Earth. The reason for this misconception is people tend to think most people of the past were morons which is why some people think Aliens must have helped the Egyptians build the pyramids when in reality they had a work force that was apparently well payed (I believe one documentary I saw mentioned they got paid in beer and had a diet of meat) and weren't slaves like some Greek (or was it Roman) sources would lead us to believe. Additionally Egyptians created the first artificial pigment Egyptian Blue which has a modern use as a fingerprint powder and one mummy was found to have a working prosthetic toe (due to the practice of mummification, they apparently had a better understanding of human anatomy, though it wasn't perfect as they didn't understand the purpose of the human brain as they considered human consciousness came from the heart). There are a lot more examples of ancient people proving they were just as intelligent and capable as we are. Also Algebra was apparently invented by Muslims cause they needed to figure out where Mecca was in order to ensure they were praying in the right direction, showing thar even religions follow the old adage of necessity is the mother of invention.

[@sirjanska9575]

Also don't forget that the movie suggests that Columbus hit the Manhattan island which consisted of tropical jungle and an Aztec-like culture, when he only ever touched islands in the Caribbean.

[@chillbaloo5346]

You know, Columbus didn't land in North America. He landed in El Salvador.

[@mc-ps-playa5569]

That's still North America though

[@chillbaloo5346]

MC-PS-PLAYA Nope. Central America.

[@mc-ps-playa5569]

ChillBaloo Central America isn't a continent.

[@chillbaloo5346]

MC-PS-PLAYA Doesn't matter. Ask anyone or anything, they all list it as part of Central America. Continents are arbitrarily defined anyway.

[@my2randomcents]

i know right? I was thinking the same, he landed in bloody central america!!

[@blackenedizzycore]

*hears that the main characters name is Pico* Voyage no Pico

[@elijahwatson3474]

Don't you dare speak of that horrible anime!!

[@blackenedizzycore]

Elijah Watson ( ͡°╭͜ʖ╮͡° )

[@berpipo]

+That Anime Geek The story is okay, the animation is nice, but it's the message that makes it a classic.

[@robbiewalker2831]

+pipo berber I heard there's an anime that's much worse... though I can't remember what it's called. I think it had something to do with a rich person.

[@blackenedizzycore]

Robert Walker mai-chans daily life. it's not an anime but the manga is gruesome.

[@nimrowd2023]

Actually one of my favorite childhood movies. Historical inaccuracies and all.

[@AleesaWeiss]

I chocked when I heard the worm's name. ehem. Boku no Pico.

[@keybladem1656]

Oh no!

[@Daxank]

I liked it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[@wd-type9643]

Frederic Gray oh fuck.

[@when7573]

Seramic _Skeptical Good pun.

[@biraptor6205]

japanese?

[@ryangallagher9723]

This movie is still about as accurate as saying that Columbus was a brave hero who discovered America and proved the world was round. In reality, he just sailed around the Caribbean, killed hundreds of thousands of innocent people, and died thinking he had made it to India.

[@felixargyle4871]

People knew the world wasn't flat in the time of the greeks.

[@demyx0067]

Several hundred thousands killed by one man? That's one damn impressive K/D.

[@marcello7781]

I'd suggest you to watch the video "In Defense of Columbus"

[@fordshojoe8080]

He did discover it for other countries

[@Tornado1994]

@@marcello7781 In Defense of the ATROCITIES Columbus committed.

[@Lamadredetuamigo]

I can't believe Germany producers were this ignorant of History... Like associating USA to the whole America or giving the assumption that people though in Columbus' time that Earth was flat... Seriously.

[@Quasimodo-mq8tw]

Serge Kent Well...The Producer stated that he wanted to picture columbus to the Children as a Hearthwarming wierd savant.....and German Ciniema especaily Animated in the 80-90s just SUCKED!( I must know, i HAD to endure it :( )

[@TheRezro]

Benedikt Glocker One word "Felidae" (reviewed by Brandon Tenold if someone is interested).

[@TheRezro]

Brandon Roberts Germany isn't that far from Spain, so it was simply laziness.

[@Lamadredetuamigo]

Brandon Roberts That's what trying to say, in Europe the average knowledge of other European (more so with important nations like France, GB, Spain, Italy...) countries history is good enough to not make this kind of... Utterly shit films. I mean, some are on purpose twisted (due to political ideologies) but by mistake? That was my awe.

[@Quasimodo-mq8tw]

Serge Kent What i didn´t bring across: That wasn´t even a mistake. It was intentionaly..."an other "critical" viewpoint at the 500year celebration". Dont know what the producer was smoking....

[@DreamBelief]

To be fair this is pretty much as accurate as what most kids are taught about columbus in the US

[@JamesNerdMan85]

I remember in 7th grade I was taught that when Columbus got to America, he could barely stand and bleed through his eyes. Imagine if that happened in this movie.

[@cotesan2953]

"yeah, my bookworm friend, maybe in the future they name something after us...jujuju" years and years later columbus: beautiful country of Colombia and many other things bookworm: (opening slang dictionary) pico: (Chile) slang word for man genitalia

[@AstralDragoon]

6:20-6:51: One of the best NC clips.

[@robinsordahl8947]

You should’ve seen walking with dinosaurs the movie and Winx club season 6, there is so much dialogue that it makes it unbearable to listen to.

[@zeitgeistindustries1792]

You gotta admit, the swarm lord looks freaking awsome.

[@trainguy3277]

Yeah it does I just wish it was in a different movie

[@mc-ps-playa5569]

1. Columbus was trying to find a new route to India 2. He never landed in the US.

[@OmnicidalClown1992]

10:21 I've watched this review so many times, and yet this scene still gets me.

[@skeiththe3rd]

I remember seeing the VHS on the shelf at my grandmother's house. When I asked if I could watch it, my grandma looked me I'm the eyes and told me "you don't want to, trust me." I'm grateful that she saved my innocent eyes.

[@sirjanska9575]

Kinda puzzling why she still kept it in her shelf. As some sort of a dark accursed relic?

[@channelwarrior861]

You know why I like the Shaun The Sheep show and movies? It's because there is no dialogue throughout the entire show and movies as all you hear are just characters grunting! Plus there are plenty of silent moments!

[@azbrowne]

I would like to point out that during the time period that this film is portray that people generally excepted that the earth was round, but that's just one drop of water in the Wrong Sea!

[@SnackerdJack]

At the beginning of the video, that is the genuine face and laughter of a broken man.

[@NebLleb]

It never stops it NEVER STOPS IT NEVER STOPS! IT JUST KEEPS GOING! IT KEEPS GOING!

[@jojolafrite90]

13:08. Was that Dan castellaneta?! I mean, it's clearly him. though I can't find a mention of him dubbing that movie. Anyway, it's just one word.

[@WerehogFan18]

This is so confusing, I don't know anymore. Why do some people keep thinking Columbus discovered America?

[@BloodyRomance1313]

I believe the confusion comes from the wording. Discovering the "Americas" which is a collection of many places vs what we now call "America" as in the United States of America.

[@WerehogFan18]

BloodyRomance1313 That's really interesting.

[@wd-type9643]

WerehogFan18 ikr. We all know it was the Natives from Siberia, and then the nordics. (That is if you are properly educated)

[@thedarklordreturns990]

with him the knowledge of americas massivelly spread

[@hinata1ize]

WerehogFan18 that's what they teach us in the US in elementary school and then they tell us something different by 5th grade or middle school depending on where you live but ppl usually ignore the fact that Columbus didn't discover America and hold on to what they were taught as a small child.

[@BuckarooBanzai84]

You DO realize that 'Anastasia' is NOT supposed to be historically accurate, right? It was actually meant to be following in a great tradition of similar live-action films based on the same subject. I haven't heard anyone complain about Anton Litvak's 1956 version. Bluth's film is in fact quite groundbreaking for its day. The characters are well-written, the visuals are top-of-the-line, and the music is amazing. It even won several Oscars for technical effects! The real reason the inaccuracies are so glaring to us now is mainly due to a negative propaganda campaign from Disney at the time, who felt legitimately threatened by the sudden success of other studios. (even though they had done the same thing.) I think if actually try to judge the movie on its own merit, and put aside the real story, (which was NOT appropriate for children) you'll find it truly does stand the test of time. =)

[@DatHarlequinOni]

5:46 If they don't do a Grinch reference... 5:54 I was not disappointed.

[@MartianManHunter2258]

5:27 Man if Nostalgia Critic thinks this bad, wait until he sees Breadwinners.

[@dnmstarsi]

I doubt that show will be as painful as this. That crap is annoying but this is stronger to him for probably other reasons.

[@halothere6995]

Nothing on earth will be as painful as this

[@kirinbobarcana]

15:05 When you beat ghost and goblins but then you realize you have to play it all again.

[@inaciosthirdstudio]

6:21 Imagine this being the wake up call.

[@parker-boy98]

When Arnold tells you to shut up, you shut up!

[@parker-boy98]

And why is Pico an adult? He's a woodworm! That's a larva!

[@haveapotato691]

I love this episode. One of my very favorites of the Nostalgia Critic oeuvre.

[@slipstreamxr3763]

This movie wishes it was "Road to El Dorado" but fails miserably. On another note, can the Swarm Lord truly be considered a villain as some of his goals are to stop Christopher Columbus' voyage from succeeding?

[@sonicfreak04]

columbus didnt discover america, leif erikson did

[@Tytoalba777]

+sonicfreak04 , nope, the Natives did. In all seriousness, Leif Erikson found it before Columbus, but everyone either forgot about Vinland 100 years after Leif Erikson, or they just never heard.

[@Daruqe]

+James A Clouder The concept of "discovering America" is dumb anyway.

[@sonicfreak04]

yup

[@thedarklordreturns990]

natives were born there that is not discovery ._.

[@dromalloma2651]

sonicfreak04 *almost, if he would've gotten off the darn boat! :P

[@chrishansen4418]

Christopher Columbus sounds like an Italian Tommy Wiseau

[@thewittywhygaming6487]

"How can we ever thank you?" "The land. Give it."

[@javathehunt790]

Omg, That Popeye impression is on point! 13:31

[@andreasnickmann370]

To quote St. Thomas Aquinas: "Sciences are differentiated according to the various means through which knowledge is obtained. For the astronomer and the physicist both may prove the same conclusion: that the earth, for instance, is round"

[@Morgil27]

Rewatching this on Columbus Day.

[@luffyduffy7817]

Critic going "its a me, Christopher Columbus!" lives rent free in my head all these years later

[@zgrillo2004]

11:28 "What the Hell?!" LMFAO the way he said it cracked me up.

[@Larry_Ibarra]

So apparently there was a jungle with a Mayan type temple where modern day NYC is?

[@Amberleen_the_Light_Eevee]

"Oh, space! Oh, trees! Oh, box office sodomy! Oh! I'm learning so much about my character through this! Oh! I'm a tool!"

[@stopanimatecreep3400]

Why does the protagonist look like Captain Hook from Disney’s 1953 Peter Pan film?

[@Zhyro00]

well there is a theory that says that colombus was the queens lover and thats how he get the financial support for the trip

[@shinysaur4492]

2:23 *AND HIS NAME IS* The Care Bears.

[@jamesgarlick4573]

On the Pocahontas plug there at the beginning: to be fair, Disney used John Smith's diary entry on Pocahontas. A diary in which he tells his story of all of his adventures around the world.... where he is always captured and then saved by the local beautiful princess.... I think he had a complex or fetish of some sort lol

[@ryanangelastro504]

Disney did research on movies based on true stories?