THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES

Case ########-15 An inventory of what comes after.  Audio recorded by the Archivist, in situ.
Content warnings: - Body horror (inc animals) - Description of human remains - Self-mutilation; - Futility / Inconsequence - Environmental disaster / Eco-horror - Pollution - Water insecurity - Existential & Theological dread - Unpleasant SFX - insects, squelching, sirens.
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Edited this week by: Annie Fitch, Elizabeth Moffatt, Brock Winstead & Alexander J Newall
Written by Jonathan Sims
Directed by Alexander J Newall
Produced by Lowri Ann Davies
Performances: "Martin Blackwood" - Alexander J. Newall;"The Archivist" - Jonathan Sims;
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[@daniellecollins8257]

Umbrella: *existing* Jon: and I took that personally

[@vincentsinclair7749]

Welcome to Mag 175: Epoch, also known as "Jon bullies a poor umbrella for simply existing"

[@dull_demon4717]

ah, so i've finally reached the umbrella episode

[@louagusti7320]

umbrella: leah: look at this FAIL apparatus with its CRINGE fabric and metal

[@CytheriaXylia]

You are like the only person I've seen that acknowledges that this is Leah berating the umbrella and not Jon. I don't know why it irks me so much. It just seems like people don't understand that Jon is reading statements, that these are other people's thoughts.

[@Smaugenheimochowski]

​@@CytheriaXylia I feel the same. I guess just seeing other people completely misunderstanding the point of Jon's speaking and accidentally taking it as a part of his character and personality is what makes it troublesome. Misinterpretations and misunderstandings in general are pretty displeasing.

[@atomykebonpyre]

Hearing Jon berate that poor umbrella for simply existing gives me violently mixed emotions.

[@ZeroOhClock]

....why mixed 👀

[@merryscooter519]

@@ZeroOhClock well . . 😋 *nervous sweating*

[@EldritchMcPie]

Bullying the Umbrella has Nightvale energy.

[@broblerone413]

so true i can totally hear a nightvale character saying that part XD

[@cain3895]

And now the community calendar. Monday is "Bully the umbrella" day. Why are we doing this? Well, what does it think its doing? Protecting people from rain? What rain? Rain isn't real, silly. Show me rain. Who let you in here?

[@broblerone413]

@@cain3895 that's so good, it's totally something cecil would say lol

[@dawnwayfinder]

I've been away too long; we're not trying to destroy the moon anymore? Back in my day...

[@Matheus-ql7mn]

​@@cain3895 Sorry, Monday is now canceled, we need to reschedule it 😅

[@Companion92]

I have the feeling, that Jon is projecting on that umbrella

[@chimethebells3556]

It feels very in character… also… mood

[@lel1160]

I saw this comment before I started the episode and was so confused to see what the fuck you were referring to 😂

[@racoon_in_ankhmorpork]

I love how 90% of the comments here are about Jon berating that poor umbrella.

[@GarethOfByzantium]

It’s actually LEAH going after the umbrella!!!

[@vee802]

headcanon, Melanie can't be seen by the eye because she cut her eyes out. And Georgie can't be seen by the eye because she's incapable of feeling fear.

[@WeAreAirborne]

Counterpoint: they took refuge in Helen's hallways when the world ended. Melanie knew Helen from when she "helped" with Jared Hopworth, and they might know that the Eye can't see them in there. that's my pet theory anyway

[@f_mva]

ohhh that makes a lot of sense

[@germanerd6148]

I think they are hiding in Hill Top Road since the house seems to be a gateway in another dimension which might be not affected by the apocalypse.

[@riftaquarius3437]

All very interesting guesses.

[@Tongue_Eating_Louse]

I think you mean theory, not headcanon

[@sophiemcswag]

umbrella? stupid jon? archivist world? ending hotel? trivago

[@anomaliecosmos]

I am forcibly removed from the Anthropocene Age

[@Ceaseless_Watcher]

CEASELESS WATCHER, TURN YOUR GAZE UPON THIS WRETCHED UMBRELLA.

[@no-namemcnameless7188]

The way I cackled-

[@atlander4204]

I genuinely cackled as well.

[@Bloomy_forest]

Ah, this is the episode where he mocks an umbrella. Poor umbrella, it hasn't done anything.

[@Bloomy_forest]

I feel like I'm becoming that person that posts mini spoilers for the episode out of context and I don't know what I feel about that.

[@bucketlist3727]

You should feel great about (as long as you don't spoil anything important of course).

[@Bloomy_forest]

@@bucketlist3727 Yeah, maybe 😅 (I'd never spoil anything important, I remember when I first started listening and got spoiled, it ruined that twis)

[@f_mva]

despicable umbrella! i spit upon you, ptoo!

[@archsteel7]

"Poor umbrella, it hasn't done anything." That's the point. Lazy umbrella. *Stupid* umbrella.

[@merryscooter519]

JON JUST . . DEGRADING THIS UMBRELLA IS SO FUNNY TO ME 😭😭

[@merryscooter519]

its also kinda . . .

[@mimkyodar]

First time I listened to this, I was like "hmmm, this doesn't sound very spirally... or hunt..." "Is this... End again?" ... No... Noooo....IS THIS EXTINCTION??? Did not expect we'd get an Extinction statement.

[@BeautifulEarthJa]

Pollution, climate change....extinction

[@bleddynwolf8463]

they were all so scared of it arriving, when it was already here

[@philippak7726]

OMG Martin trying to get Jon to join him on the couch. I can just picture the puppydog expression

[@ethanstine426]

To be fair the couch is probably filthy and home to gasoline cockroaches.

[@philippak7726]

@@ethanstine426 so, your standard dorm-room couch? sounds about right.

[@torcaace]

"yo dawg, we heard you like apocalypses, so we put an apocalypse inside an apocalypse"

[@laughingooooo]

me (an empath) can sense that jon doesnt like that umbrella very much

[@no-namemcnameless7188]

me (an empath) indignantly jumping to the umbrella’s defense

[@laughingooooo]

@@no-namemcnameless7188 OMG IM REWATCHING THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES TOO HI THERE

[@casswohlgemuth194]

Umbrella: * existing * Jon: laughable. It doesn't *r a i n*

[@darthchungusTHEOG]

“Beyond…reality?” *Jon looking straight at the listeners through their devices*

[@elvingearmasterirma7241]

Me, as Jon reads the umbrella to filth: Jon, are you okay? Do you need a therapist?

[@quantumblauthor7300]

All therapists are dead or dying forever, this is as close to therapy as it gets

[@94sweetmochi]

He needed that a long time ago. I dont think he is gonna get it.

[@harryballantyne398]

WallE must be an avatar of the extinction

[@LucasDimoveo]

When I heard the word "item" I half expected an SCP item reading

[@quantumblur_3145]

Umbrella sounds slightly cognitohazardous

[@BeautifulEarthJa]

Close lol

[@innitheotaku3883]

Y’all stop bullying Jon for the umbrella he’s literally not in control of what he says

[@idkdraws4681]

Martian saying swimmingly at the end gives me life 19:25

[@renatamanzano6335]

HAHAHA, that little squeal of sarcasm gave me 🌌serotonin🌌

[@macabrecitrus2127]

Yeah that was cute... Also I'm sorry but "Martian" lmao funny typo

[@fruitygarlic3601]

Martian and Johnathan Suns

[@LexariusVailen]

BRUH SAME I WAS LOOKING FOR A COMMENT LIKE THIS Listening at work and couldn't help a happy shiver like a gay ass 🙄

[@nakama-chan6171]

umbrella: literally just exists jon: *so you have chosen... death.*

[@f_mva]

read the content warnings and tag yourself, im "existential and theological dread"

[@gayslinky5236]

I'm "insecurity"

[@germanerd6148]

I´m Water insecurity. I´ll drink everything you have left

[@karsloglu7627]

Unpleasant SFX

[@toadstooldarling9937]

im "sirens"

[@Kai-ob6hd]

Ecohorror

[@effeilensucre]

Me everytime a new episode comes: Ok so this one power is def the worst one, oh god Me everytime the next episode arrives: uh oh

[@trobertson3951]

the fact that martin didn’t pull jon onto the couch with him is a crime

[@DJSilly9]

i know martin doesnt like the statements but GOD i wish he was around to watch jon berate an umbrella i have to see that

[@dorkindustries7145]

All I'm imagining is a tiny screaming frog except it's a book

[@CapitanaGabs]

IDKW but all the existential dread in this one hit me so close... Surely The Extinction would love me as a meal.

[@PANCAKEMINEZZ]

This honestly reads out like an SCP file.

[@biancamlf288]

I fact-checked a comment a while ago from an earlier episode that mentioned a TMA reference. And there is a file where a "Gerard Hopworth" is mentioned (SCP-4716). I also like to think it wasn't a typo, instead Gerry getting caught in something very messy.

[@nothingunderthemask]

​@@biancamlf288I read the file and it sounds like a Flesh-based Lietner

[@jadethegemstone9545]

Ya know, I really love how they incorporate the statements into the on going story. Like a lot of the time I've seen other just try to shoehorn these things in, or just get rid of them all together, or keep them even if they don't make sense. But here, they incorporate it perfectly! And I absolutely love it!

[@The-Busy-Beeeee]

That's because everything down to the minute detail was planned from the start

[@midnights2631]

Umbrella: *Just sitting there.* Jon: Stupid umbrella, why are you here?

[@ButterflyColors]

All the comments are talking about an umbrella, I’m curious to hear what he says and if it holds up to my expectations Edit: well damn jon

[@yumiendercat3685]

Martin sounded like some kind of dolphin with that ‘swimmingly’

[@havesomecarrots]

that umbrella got read to filth lmao

[@zeynep0910]

extinction statements always get me and this one was sooo good omg i loved the format of listing items and flora/fauna also that beast reciting old commercials when talking to itself was just a brilliant detail, i love the way jonny’s mind works

[@waffleartz8581]

the description of the seagull trapped in the net actually got me and it took 175 eps to shake me up, dang.

[@alphalilly8207]

I just thought of something. Jon dosnt say "Statement Ends" anymore. And I dont think he even refres to himself by name. (Only martin does) Another thing, he seems like he's becoming more distant. Detached even. Always In his head somehow (which makes sense cuz he can know everything that is happening all at once) This is gonna be intresting :3c

[@handinlovablehand]

you know what? thats a cool as fuck bird.

[@anshulghatge2147]

Ah yes, the SCP episode

[@malaizze]

My man reading SCP articles call this a CK class scenario

[@tacoterrorizer1862]

I can't wait for the Hunt episode

[@tomisabum]

Oh, I wish this wasn't such a West Coast America Big Mood right now. Still, good stuff. I like the mention of the limits/fixations of the Eye in this latter part, neat.

[@JustAButterfly98]

WALL-E would love this place! 🤖🌱🌎🗑💚

[@zag1844]

God Jon bullying the umbrella for just being there is so funny.

[@macabrecitrus2127]

Yay, ecological grief ! I almost shed a tear ! Almost

[@ash.g1310]

Honestly this is the place that I'd be most likely. Extinction is the thing that scares me most, especially extinction by the human hand.

[@fluffsnake]

[EXT. A DOMAIN OF THE EXTINCTION] [TAPE CLICKS ON.] [THERE’S A LOW, MUSICAL TONE IN THE BACKGROUND. THE CONSTANT MOVEMENT OF WHAT SOUNDS LIKE METAL OR METAL SCRAPS, OVERLAIN WITH THE BUZZING OF NIGHT INSECTS.] [ALSO IN THE BACKGROUND: A DISTANT AIR RAID SIREN. MULTIPLE, ACTUALLY, OVERLAPPING ONLY AT THE EDGES, EACH SETTING OFF A HIGHER PITCH AS THE PREVIOUS ONE ENDS.] [A QUICK STATIC IN, AND:] ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT) Item: A stubborn lamp. Approximately a foot and a half long, stand made of discoloured brass with a crude fleur-de-lis pattern and slightly melted at the base. Shade constructed from satin, original colour impossible to discern due to assorted stains, likely blood, oil, and paraffin wax. The bulb is imprinted with the words “Long Life” despite appearing to contain a standard tungsten filament. There is a long, thin crack that runs the length of the bulb, and it is remarkably easy to cut yourself on the thin glass. With the vacuum compromised, it should be impossible for the light to turn on. The power cable is severed about three inches from the base of the stand and writhes like a beheaded snake. There is nothing in this place to power it. Despite all of this, a thin and sickly glow can be seen from underneath the lampshade, an irregular, pulsing light that casts rotten shadows on the piles of detritus and clusters of ash and bone that surround it. Where its sputtering illumination falls, the color drains from everything, leaving nothing but a faded grey. It cannot survive, but still it clings to its existence, destroying everything around it. It smells like death. [ANOTHER LIGHT CLATTERING OF METAL FROM THE PILE - IS SOMEONE LOOKING AROUND?] Leah’s fingers are worn and dry, their color painfully faded, save for a streak of scarlet that drip-drops from her cut fingers as she furiously scribbles her findings into the notebook. The pages tear with the frenzy of her writing as she desperately tries to keep her thoughts alive. [MORE CLATTERING.] Fauna: A mouldering seagull. Larger than any related specimen to be found before the Anthropocene age, this bird has been rendered flightless by the tightly woven plastic netting that winds around and around its torso, digging into the skin beneath the feathers and bulging over the strange lumps and tumors that cover it. Its feathers have turned an oily black, and its vestigial eyes are pale and sightless, relying instead on the sounds its prey makes as they traverse the noisy junkpiles of discarded landscape. Its beak has become hard and its edges are serrated, allowing it to tear apart the tin cans and hard plastics that shield its food with ease. Its legs are long and many-jointed, allowing it to move across the uneven ground, and its throat is blocked with concrete, preventing it from crying and letting it move among the ruins in complete silence. It nests in the rusted-out hollows of fleeing cars, constructing intricate shelters for its young out of corpse-hair and wiring. Its eggs are rusty, covered in slime, and its chicks are born with plastic rings around their necks. They smell like ammonia and salt, and their name is meaningless, as there is no longer such a thing as the sea. [CLATTER.] Leah hides behind a cracked vending machine, waiting for the thing to pass. She knows it can hear the rapid scratch of her broken pencil, but it is all she can do to get it down, get it all down on paper - another futile warning of a future that is already here. Item: A history book. Hardback. Eight-point-five by eleven inches and approximately an inch and a half thick, although the number of pages is impossible to discern. Its dust jacket has long since been lost, and what remains is wrinkled maroon cloth over soggy book-board. The faded letters of a partial title can be seen embossed into the spine. The words A Brief History of - can be made out clearly, but the rest has been burned away. The spine is cracked and broken, but the volume itself cannot be opened. The book has clearly been submerged into some sort of fat or binding agent, and the paper within it has fused together into a single, indistinguishable lump of pulp. The wet mass within it retains sufficient moisture that if the covers are pressed upon, a thin rivulet of clear liquid will run like tears down the book’s cover. If you do this, the book will scream. [IT IS AT THIS POINT YOU NOTICE THE CACOPHONY IN THE BACKGROUND: A STRANGE HISSING, THE WRETCHED CRIES OF THEIR MODERN SEAGULL, AND ANOTHER, MORE INDISTINGUISHABLE SOUND. PERHAPS IT IS THE BOOK.] It is a stupid thing, a long-dead trinket that was of no use to anyone even when it puffed itself up with the factuous intellectual dribblings of those who believed the past was any defense against the future, bloated as it was with the hagiographies of war criminals and smugly grinning murderers. Now it serves as a suffering reminder of everything that has been lost - which is to say, nothing of value. Leah hates the book. She cannot shake the feeling that once, long ago, she read it, seeing within its pages the stark importance of taking action, of trying to change the world for the better and avoiding the dead, nightmare future that kept her awake at night. But it was doomed from the start, and those who salivated at the thought of a place in history had secured nothing but its end. [MORE CRUMBLING, MORE SQUEAKING.] Item: A laughable umbrella. Look at it. What does it think it’s doing here? Lying there, broken, skeletal. There hasn’t been rain in fifty years. The soil is cracked and parched. Any vegetation that claws its agonized way up out of it maggot-white and dry as dust. The only moisture is from the wet rot of the junkpiles that stretch thirty feet above the ground in all directions, spilling out into the sandy, sloping basin that was once a sea bed. Stupid umbrella. Does it think there is a monsoon coming? Does it even remember what a cloud of water vapor looks like? The clouds that pass now are oily and stink of sulfur, waiting for you to stop paying attention before they climb down your throat and settle in your lungs. Perhaps this idiot apparatus thinks it can protect from the relentless heat of the sun, but its fabric is torn and ruined, hanging from the snapped metal limbs, desperate for a breeze to stir it from its - complete stillness. Take a moment to sneer at this corpse of an umbrella, and wish for a moment you had water enough within you to spit on it. Leah can barely tell what she’s writing anymore. The catalog of horrors she’s compiling, this report on everything for nobody, but what else is she to do? What else can even come close to quelling the fear that suffuses her existence? Fauna: The thing that lives. Something lives in the Anthropocene age. Not a twisted reflection of the world, not a parasite or a scavenger or a cockroach, but a native. Something born in the sloping shells of sagging concrete towers, that tastes the tang of rusted iron in the air and knows that it is home. Something that does not know or care what a human is, any more than mankind thought of the creatures that once lived in the shells they found on the beach. It moves through the stacks of garbage like a beetle through filth, and its smile is all-too familiar, though its eyes are dark and empty. It cannot be seen in its entirety, for it keeps itself covered, but its long, unfurling tongue may be seen emerging, pink and bristling with long, hairlike taste buds, hunting for something old enough to eat. It whispers to itself in the dark, and sounds like old snippets of toothpaste commercials and adverts to join the army. [A STRANGE, LOW MOANING SOUND - BUT LAYERED AS IF THROUGH A FILTER, AS IF THROUGH ONE OF THOSE PLASTIC MICROPHONES THAT LAYER YOUR VOICE UNTIL YOUR VOICE SOUNDS ALIEN AND YOU’RE NOT QUITE SURE HOW MANY OF YOU THERE WERE TO START WITH.] It is hard to tell if there is more than one, but either there are several of them of different sizes, or there is just the one, and it is getting bigger. It is our replacement, and it is welcome to the world. Even if Leah had known, if she had had time to warn them, who would have believed her? Who would not have laughed her out of her life if she described the horrors that were to come in their true and vivid detail? [ANOTHER MULTIPHONIC GROAN. IS IT GETTING CLOSER?] But there is no one left to warn, though that does not slow her hand even a moment. She ignores the burning pain in her forearm, where the thing’s rough tongue has torn a section of her skin clean off. [MORE GROANS, ONE AFTER THE OTHER. IS THERE MORE THAN ONE? ARE THEY CALLING OUT TO EACH OTHER?] Item: A forgotten bone. …Whose is this? Pale white and stained with thick black tar. A human bone, that much is clear; too big to be a child’s, at least. Can a bone seem familiar? The shape of it echoing through your mind, like a face seen only in dreams? It may be followed up to a ribcage, still sticky in places with soapy cadaver fat, and closing around a crumpled beer can where the heart should be. There’s a skull as well, yellowing in the thick dust of the open air. Strange. Everything here is either bone-dry from relentless heat, or damp through from decomposition and stagnant decay. Lifeless yet decaying. The world we have left behind. Leah considers the bones for some time. Does she know them? Are they hers? If she had been quicker, more forceful in her warnings, might they still be alive? Her pencil is broken, but her notes, her warnings from this new world are far from complete. She snaps off another rib and continues writing. [STATIC INCREASING.] [A SOFT SIGH FROM THE ARCHIVIST.] ARCHIVIST Right. [TAPE CLICKS OFF.]

[@fluffsnake]

[EXT. A DOMAIN OF THE EXTINCTION] [TAPE CLICKS ON.] [CRUNCHING OF FOOTSTEPS, WITH THE OCCASIONAL CLATTER OF GLASS OR METAL FROM THE JUNKPILES.] MARTIN You know what? I am sitting down. ARCHIVIST Are… you sure? That thing is… that’s not in great shape. MARTIN (don’t care! nothing matters!) Neither am I. I have been on my feet for a literally uncountable amount of time. [A STEP, SOME GROANING, THE JANGLE OF BAGS, AND CREAKING OF WHAT IS PRESUMABLY A COUCH AS MARTIN SITS.] ARCHIVIST How is it? MARTIN Great! (creak from the couch) It’s great. Lovely couch. ARCHIVIST Right. Well, rest up, I suppose! MARTIN It’s two-seater! ARCHIVIST (you are not getting me on that thing) Yes it is! [BRIEF PAUSE, IN WHICH THERE IS A SLIGHT AMUSED EXHALE AND ANOTHER CREAK OF THE COUCH.] ARCHIVIST (CONT’D) Hard pass, thank you. [AN EXHALE, AND SHIFT FROM MARTIN, WITH SOME SLOSHING, FOLLOWED BY A LOVELY LITTLE MOMENT OF SILENCE BUT FOR THE GULL SOUNDS AND SIRENS IN THE FAR BACKGROUND.] MARTIN What’s it like? ARCHIVIST What? MARTIN This place’s - (inhale) its statement. ARCHIVIST Not too surprising. It’s a domain designed to eke fear out of those afraid of a world - (inhale) - destroyed by human hands. It, uh - (exhale) It dwells on it. [AN UNDERSTANDING HM FROM MARTIN.] [ANOTHER BRIEF MOMENT OF SILENCE, THEN:] MARTIN (creak as he shifts) So it was real then, the Extinction? ARCHIVIST Of course it was real - A-At least in the sense that - it was a thing people feared. Whether it was strong enough in its own right to be considered at a level with Smirke’s Fourteen, or - whether it was on its way to getting there, I - maybe. This sort of thing is always muddy. MARTIN So Peter was lying. [THE ARCHIVIST LETS OUT HIS “IT’S NOT THAT SIMPLE” SIGH.] ARCHIVIST To a degree. But - mostly he was just like anyone else who tried to take the scope of human terror and - (small inhale) package it neatly into little theories. All this talk of Emergence and - birthing a new power - it’s just people being scared. [CREAK AS MARTIN SHIFTS.] MARTIN What, so no one had any idea? ARCHIVIST Martin, I have the whole scope of human knowledge available to me, and - (small inhale, sharp exhale) I’d struggle to give you a simple answer to most of this stuff. And even if I am omniscient, I’m starting to realize that… doesn’t mean objective. [CREAK. MARTIN HMS.] MARTIN (sigh) I guess it’s hard not to bring your own baggage to this sort of thing. ARCHIVIST I don’t know if it could even exist without the baggage. You want to talk about psychological projection, try viewing the world through the lense of the being that is, by its very nature, a reflection of your own obsessions and fears. MARTIN (sigh) Yeah, alright. I get it. But what about the - real world, were they right? ARCHIVIST I - I’m not sure I follow. MARTIN M- Right, if none of this had happened, if the world had just - carried on? (creak) What would have happened? Was - Was all that fear justified? ARCHIVIST (exhale, moving closer) I can’t know the future, Martin, not even a hypothetical one. MARTIN But - you know what was going on, what was happening. O-Out of everyone, you’re the best place - (squeak) You, you, you’ve got the info to make a pretty damn educated guess! [BRIEF PAUSE.] ARCHIVIST I, I don’t know what you want me to say, Martin. Yes, it was bad, worse than most people thought, and things were only going to deteriorate. But was the end of humanity actually imminent? I - probably not? But we were well on the way, and - it would have been the end of an awful lot of things. [LARGE CREAK.] MARTIN So you don’t think it would have been the end of the world? [THERE’S A BIT OF A LAUGH TO THE END OF HIS SENTENCE.] ARCHIVIST The end of the world. Now there’s a concept. Everything ends, I suppose. (movement) Even this place. Can’t last forever. Eventually… it will die as well. [MOVEMENT.] MARTIN You’re starting to sound like Simon. ARCHIVIST No. He was always looking towards the infinite, but I’m not sure there is such a thing. If I try, I can - (slight static) - see the edges of reality, but - I can’t hold its full scope in my mind. [STATIC FADES OUT.] MARTIN And beyond it? ARCHIVIST Beyond what? Reality? MARTIN Yeah. ARCHIVIST I don’t know. Maybe nothing. [BEAT.] [THEN MARTIN CREAKS THE COUCH AGAIN.] MARTIN John. ARCHIVIST What? MARTIN D’you know if - like - gods, religion, the afterlife, all that stuff. Do you know if any of that was real? ARCHIVIST (exhale, a bit amused) Really rolling out the big questions today. MARTIN Sorry, it’s just - this place just brings it out in me, I guess. [SLIGHT STATIC KICKS IN AGAIN.] ARCHIVIST If there is a god, or gods, or an existence beyond this world, the Eye can’t see it. It sees the fear of it, but - nothing of its truth. [STATIC FADES.] MARTIN …So… is that a no?… ARCHIVIST It’s an ‘I don’t know,’ although - (heavy inhale) People’s faith - it hasn’t saved them. Not here. MARTIN (soft) True. ARCHIVIST Why do you ask? Didn’t think you were at all religious. [SQUEAK.] MARTIN Oh, I’m not. Mum was, but - (squeak) I, I don’t know. With everything going on, it - (exhale) certainly feels less far-fetched. Besides, at this point, I’d take any help we can get. ARCHIVIST I don’t know how kindly any god would look upon what we’ve done. [PAUSE.] MARTIN Thanks for that. ARCHIVIST Sorry. [A SHIFT AND A CREAK.] MARTIN Let’s get out of here. This place is making me a bit too… existential. [HE MOVES TO GET UP, HIS CLOTHING RUSTLING AND THE BAGS SQUEAKING AND JANGLING.] ARCHIVIST Wait. [MARTIN STOPS.] MARTIN What? ARCHIVIST (sigh) Where we’re going, the, uh… (finds it) The next domain, I’ve been meaning to tell you, but it’s - well. MARTIN Spit it out, John. ARCHIVIST Basira and Daisy. We’re close. MARTIN Wait, what? Wait, really?! (sudden energy) B- Th-that’s brilliant; what are we waiting for; let’s go! ARCHIVIST I - uh - yeah, it’s - it’s not going to be easy; things aren’t… good. MARTIN (fast, high-pitched - he’s going to take the mick but he’s excited) Oh my goodness, really? And here was me thinking the apocalypse was going oh, so swimmingly! ARCHIVIST (overlapping) Yes, alright, I just meant - MARTIN (cutting him off) I, I know what you meant! I can still be keen to see our friends! [HE IS DEFINITELY GRINNING EAR TO EAR NOW; WE CAN HEAR IT IN THE LAUGHTER IN HIS SENTENCE.] ARCHIVIST True. MARTIN Besides, we can help them now. [THE ARCHIVIST SIGHS; THEY BOTH START GETTING BACK ON THE ROAD.] ARCHIVIST Yeah. (pause) Yeah. [THEIR FOOTSTEPS CRUNCH AS THEY WALK.] [TAPE CLICKS OFF.]

[@islaridland]

@@fluffsnake thankssss

[@thistleywistley681]

@@fluffsnake thank youuuu

[@whozeewhatsit5527]

Maybe I missed it elsewhere in the comments, but I'm surprised no one is talking about the air raid sirens droning in the distance and how horribly perfect they are

[@rory1336]

As a field biologist and climate scientist in spirit: 1: the not-bird thing is awesome and I welcome it. 2. Everything Jon says about how bad it is in the end is right, if anything underestimating it. 3. Even if both climate change and nuclear war hits us, humanity would likely still survive it would just be another one of many "end of life as we know it" scenarious that happen more and more to countless people every day as the temperture rises higher and the pressure rarchets tighter. On another note, this doesn't make me scared, just sad.

[@kgene1723]

Listening to this to distract me from my driving test tomorrow😣 Jon help me pass✨🙏✨

[@kgene1723]

Also what would be the entity for the fear of driving?

[@Davkanus]

The Slaughter The fear of unpredictable, unmotivated violence. The fear of pain coming at sudden, random moments. Taken from the wiki. This is my best guess.

[@bee8975]

ah shit its gonna be me in a few weeks :/ good luck!!

[@kgene1723]

bee DO NOT FEAR!! If I passed then anyone can✨

[@bee8975]

@@kgene1723 HELL YEA DUDE CONGRATS :DDD

[@gayslinky5236]

Oh- oh! What if this is the in-between of two different fears merging into each other. Like The End and Corruption maybe? What's in-between the two. Probably not but just a small thought

[@gayslinky5236]

Oh well never mind then... it's The Extinction, tbh doesnt seem all that bad? Its seems pretty okay??? It was talked up so much that its appearance is lowkey disappointing??? But that's a good thing- I think that's what they were doing. With all the talk of it being super bad that it kinda just like all the others.

[@DerMoerpler]

@@gayslinky5236 It could be part of the fear if you think about it. Of course the Extinction was talked up, it's about the end of our entire species. To us as humans, that's the biggest deal we could possibly think about. But that significance isn't objective. Earth doesn't really care if humans survive or not.The planet continues exiting either way. The fear in this domain is not only our extinction, but also that the whole thing - and by extention we as a species - isn't that big of a deal (this is where the fear brushes up against the Vast).

[@maneater2066]

@@gayslinky5236 The dangerous thing about the Extinction wasn't the fear itself, it was its possible manifestations: had it become powerful enough to start creating avatars or even attempting a ritual, it might have been catastrophic, because its whole thing is exterminating all life. Of course now that the Eye reigns supreme it's just a fear like the others, but I think it was a legitimate concern to have before.

[@mimkyodar]

@@gayslinky5236 What is the power of the fear of the world changing into something terrifying and unknown ... when that literally happened?

[@BeautifulEarthJa]

@@mimkyodar humans aren't extinct in most of the apocalypse

[@aaronmonter8108]

Jon's grandma died because of an umbrella

[@wonderwhatsgonnahappen579]

Yeah well Tim's uncle broke his neck wearing a raincoat once.

[@inkycorvid3248]

'Our' friends. MARTIN..DID YOU FORGET YOUR LAST CONVERSATION WITH DAISY..?

[@jamesmortimer4016]

Hi Alex!

[@alphalilly8207]

Damn, this one was a good one. Pretty sick. I really like the post-apocalyptic kinda feel. :3

[@DaybreakTownGSA]

Jon really just be dragging a fuckin umbrella huh

[@Reasonable_Fun_6709]

Me: I wonder what this item is, oh it an umbrella, I love umbrellas! Jon: This umbrella is stupid and it's should feel bad. Me: Stupid fucking umbrella.

[@beans_of_jelly]

That "wHat dOeS iT tHinK iT's _doing_ hErE?" always makes me laugh so much

[@netgeekdoggirl]

I too consider the bones

[@_kai2702]

yo jon what did that umbrella ever do to you-

[@2shadesofgray752]

Which one is this? The extinction?

[@lexa2310]

Seems like it. Apparently it has already manifested enough to have its own nightmare-place.

[@f_mva]

yep. i thought it would be a bigger deal tbh? but it seems it's now a fear like all the others

[@lexa2310]

@@f_mva I have started wondering if maybe 'the extinction' has always been there but just wasn't distinguished enough for smirke to pick up on its existence . After all, people have been fearing extinction since the dawn of civilization. (Besides, all these characters madly scrambling to prevent the end of the world over-and-over again, isn't *this very podcast* just a story about doomsday scenarios? )

[@germanerd6148]

@@f_mva The big deal of Exitinction was it´s ritual I think since it would have ended all other fears even The End because everything would be dead.

[@mimkyodar]

@@lexa2310 Or maybe, the literal change of the entirety of existence into a fearscape was enough to break it off.

[@Ceaseless_Watcher]

Mocking the umbrella is dry wit.

[@flynland7366]

How good that we know now that the world is going down with a pandemic anyway!

[@Sxcheschka]

This episode is so hilarious, I love it!

[@Sxcheschka]

Existentialism, Nihilism, and Existential Dread are all moot concepts for me, but fun to think about nonetheless. Also this was a really chill and fun episode, interesting concepts brought up.

[@FoxfurYT]

I look down for 2 seconds before starting the episode and I just see “Jon bullies an umbrella” and I don’t know if I should laugh or be concerned… probably both knowing this story.

[@ambermcausland6024]

Bro why tf is jon so mean to god damn umbrella leave it alone dude it's trying it's best

[@mimkyodar]

ITS BEST ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH.

[@soulzinhaa]

Hearing this whole episode while being affected by the floods in Brazil right now hits different :(

[@TeamTamahakk]

Degrading that umbrella huh

[@ann-margretparke9525]

That couch did not sound inviting, at all.

[@castielwinchester4481]

19:25 oh so ˢʷᶦᵐᵐᶦⁿᵍˡʸ

[@cyrilltate7065]

The fact that, despite the proven ability of objects to function as if they are alive and independent, the umbrella just sits there and takes the bullying means that it is degradable thanks for coming to my TEDTalk

[@Badficwriter]

If objects like the cabin have consciousness, can objects feel despair and fear in magic apocalypse?

[@cyrilltate7065]

@@Badficwriter I think that it depends. If the object in question is haunted by some entity, then it probably does not feel despair, at least when it comes to situations related to its entity. I do like to think that they feel anger, eg the Coffin was probably angry when Jon came in to save Daisy, but I have no idea if they can act upon their emotions

[@jennifertheiss7836]

175 episodes and the thing that's gotten me the worst has been the screaming book 😭😭😭 STOP POKING IT

[@discomposing]

can martin and jon smooch pls. just a little one

[@Tongue_Eating_Louse]

Kissing noises are gross, you get [FABRIC RUSTLES] instead

[@achnav3762]

Mouth kisses sound gross, but what about a gentle forehead kiss?

[@Tongue_Eating_Louse]

@@achnav3762 hmm.... i mean yes but [FABRIC RUSTLES] feels more tender

[@achnav3762]

@@Tongue_Eating_Louse that sounds like a hug to me ? But, I mean, why not both? But yeah. I always love to hear some [FABRIC RUSTLE]

[@mimkyodar]

Sure. *grins*

[@Sodatsu3]

Martin- "It's two seater." Jon- "Yes, it is." *I imagine Martin paying the seat beside himself* Jon- "Hard pass."

[@casvirgile]

How has NO ONE commented on the reveal that her pencil IS HER RIB

[@SomeGuy-ty7kr]

I figured out which hell the crew of the Rusty Quill would have ended up in.

[@rory1336]

The couch scene and SFX made me laugh so hard

[@drakenhoff]

RIP to a 15 episode streak of not having to deal with Basira's annoying bullshit.

[@Badficwriter]

Martin describing those people as friends... Sweetie, colleagues aren't friends. If they violently bully you, they're not even nod-worthy. And Martin did his best to be a stranger to them. Nobody liked Martin and Jon anymore. Except Daisy and she went crazy.

[@landminefrisbee5838]

Episode 175: Stupid idiot umbrella getting owned.

[@molol44]

I'm confused. If Jon had to be marked by all the fears, then why is extinction there? Last I heard, he didnt go near anything that was touched by extinction. By the logic of the world the ritual should not have worked. Something smells fishy here.

[@greyflash77]

Well… I mean he did have that supernatural incident where he was told that he was going to end the world and had to sit in that dread for a few minutes before like… ending it. That could give someone an extinction mark

[@Idran]

It hadn't emerged yet, but it was getting there And in the new world, the domains are about what people fear; there were certainly people who feared the extinction of humanity above all else even if The Extinction wasn't yet distinguished as an individualization

[@lordbaphie]

My guess is that causing the extinction of the world we once knew was in itself a marking of the Extinction on Jon. And also served as like its food to continue growing. It's a little baby fear but the Eyepocalypse had provided it enough nourishment to manifest in its own tiny space within it

[@littlerapunzel8320]

What did that umbrella do to you Jon?

[@torcaace]

ah yes, the scp-fallout mix episode

[@valeriyav2149]

i'm going to cling to that "beyong the reality" possibility as a cope-out if everything ends badly (it probably will) but hey, the entites came from other realities and jon may very well become an entity by the end of it so like... jumping in another dimension as the last resort? i'll take it

[@Great_Atuin]

This is a strange thing to say but I quite like the sound of air raid sirens, they make such a good background noise for a podcast 😄

[@MackenzieAham-pn3gg]

"oh my goodness, really? And here i was thinking that the apocalypse was going oh so ✨swimmingly ✨!" 19:23

[@SuperClass3000]

Jon's ( yes it is ) sent me 😂😂😂

[@lysithea3420]

I feel like cattle decapitation would like this ep.

[@Thomas-wn7cl]

Wheels are flying off

[@heresthadude1080]

The true SCP-001?

[@gayslinky5236]

The corruption? Doesnt seem like it tbh, maybe The end? Or The Buried

[@plaguedilf]

the wiki says its extinction

[@gayslinky5236]

@@plaguedilf yeah I figured that out afterwards

[@CytheriaXylia]

Ok I'm looking at the comments and I'm genuinely curious; how many of you understand that Jon is reading statements off of people in the fear domains? I guess maybe it's a little clearer when you listen with the transcripts, but Jon is just 'reading' statements from people. These aren't his personal opinions of what is happening. Jon isn't bullying the umbrella, the person called Leah is.

[@Badficwriter]

But that isn't funny, so everyone ignores it.

[@erinbathie-moore8478]

Welp. Now I have to make an umbrella pin with the phrase "silly umbrella" on it! Anyone who Knows will know

[@BeautifulEarthJa]

Extinction

[@wonderwhatsgonnahappen579]

OK WHAT IS HIS ISSUE WITH THE UMBRELLA 🤨

[@dragoncult666]

13:13

[@stirrcrazy2704]

It’s an EYE don’t know?

[@cdhewko]

Anyone else not finding the mary sue version of Jon that intereting? I think the interneral conflicts are pretty muted at this point making it kind of mundane insteasd if horrific. Movies have this problem in thier stories frequently. It does make sense from the story arc, but it just isn't as satisfying as the previous chapters. Sorry if that isn't helpful, but... It was awesome before this for me. Scratching a literally itch that I seek desperately.

[@SorchaSublime]

how exactly do you propose character arcs end if *this* qualifies as a "mary sue" by your standards?

[@alphalilly8207]

I was sorta thinking the same thing? Although I wouldnt use "Mary sue" to discribe it. More like a sudden power creep that the MC is given. You get those moments in anime or in any sort of story where the MC gets so powerful and important and shit and they beat up everyone who's bad and the world is saved. But this is really intresting. Its touching upon the same theme but from the perspective of a character who wasnt some sort of "chosen one" or "destined hero" just a random guy who got unlucky, in a world of horrors. Who's very power is fueled by those horrors. An interesting twist to the trope I find.

[@Badficwriter]

@@alphalilly8207 Enh. I agree its not truly a Mary Sue trope, but the overpowered protagonist is boring. Jon is either traumatized or getting spiritually too distant to truly feel anything outside of his affection for Martin. He doesn't feel like a person who is interesting to follow. I think there are plenty of interesting things that could happen for avatars, I love superhero stories. This one is too simplistic in this part. The only good thing is Jon and Martin's relationship. The vignettes are too divorced.

[@alphalilly8207]

It's been almost 2 years since I listened to TMA that I kinda forgot what I was even talking about XDD