'The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel' Cast Talk Backlash Against Midge And Joel's Parenting

[@veggiebea]

Go Michael / Joel for pointing out he doesn’t get asked about parenting, just Rachel! And that’s not fair. 👍

[@simransingh7493]

That's was what I liked best as well❤️

[@dennismonk9559]

yeah ok but he's a bad parent too. they're both pretty bad parents

[@violetchantress5796]

They’re not terrible parents, they just arnt great parents. It’s a known theme throughout the show that being a parent isn’t necessarily their top priority

[@alyssaschlickeiser]

Yeah which I personally prefer for TV because I'd rather see them follow their dreams than a show about raising kids 😂

[@JJ-el6qx]

Lol yeah i fell like they constantly go "oh yeah! we have kids..." Lol

[@teambeining]

We need to keep in mind that the characters as parents aren’t the focus of the show. The show doesn’t focus on what time Midge and Joel do spend with the kids. And during this period in Upper Class NY, it was still very common for the kids to be raised by nannies and sent to boarding school.

[@mrs_mothra547]

Right? From my knowledge of the time period it seems like Midge and Joel are doing just fine by that time's standards.

[@lilyxo6914]

@@mrs_mothra547update after season 5 😅

[@ticktockbother6]

Did anyone ask Don Draper if he was a terrible father?

[@raephaelemasirnille5794]

No, because mothers are the only parent who are held to that standard. It's not fair but thats how our society looks at it

[@apoll7]

@@raephaelemasirnille5794 No, but he was called out as a bad father even though no one asked

[@Starburst514]

No, but he was acknowledged in real life and in the show itself by many people that he was, Sally told him pretty much to his face

[@bink6778]

Are you kidding? Don being a dead beat father is one of the major underlying themes of the show.

[@moonlily1]

Yes, actually, and it's agreed upon that he was.

[@terynb4407]

Don't think they are bad parents, since it doesn't truly focus on there relationship with their kids. But still has those little moments were midge takes her kids to the park. Or spending time with them. Then knowing what kinds of toys her sons plays with during which season. Or the fact that midge made sure that her kids got to see their grandparents equally and made a whole schedule for them. They made not have been ready to have kids but I see it as them trying their best and growing with their children in a way that fits their family.

[@mercedesjimenez8049]

I get so annoyed when people criticize the show based on the aspect that Midge is a bad mom. She isn't, but for her as a character specifically, and even if it sounds harsh, she isn't a traditional mom. Like she talked about in the first season, what if she wasn't meant to be a mom, or just a mom, in the sense that being a mother isn't a career, she isn't working as a full time mother. She can be a mom, and so much more than that. She is a comedian who happens to have a family. I think the way the show is written, it makes it so that motherhood isn't the focal point in the story, because it also isn't a focal point in her life. In that era, women were expected to get married, have children, and stay at home. She doesn't want that. She wants to have a life beyond marriage and parenthood. Of course they show the children because yeah, she is a mom and she loves her children and that is a fact to be ignored, but she craves more as any other human should and does. I also want to point out the criticism about her beauty regimen at the beginning of the show. It's meant to shock us. It's meant to reflect the societal pressure women faced during that period and all throughout history in a sort of exaggerated way. Thus, why we see her mom doing the same thing, it's something that women are conditioned to do, whether it's taken into more extreme measures or not.

[@BookwormTVfreak]

I feel like the first season especially kinda hinted that she mostly became a mom because that was what she was supposed to do. Be a mom, a good housewife, make your husband happy, etc. She isn't a bad mom given all of that. She could have easily taken out her frustrations about the role she was forced to take, and how her husband wound up treating her, on them. She doesn't. I feel like she kind of acts like how the dads of the time acted (or at least tend to act in period pieces) instead of the moms, and winds up getting a lot of shit for it.

[@moonlily1]

She isn't a mom. She gave birth to her children and that's kind of it.

[@BookwormTVfreak]

@@moonlily1 She's a TV character. TV characters tend to only have scenes that relate to their narrative arcs. Theoretically, it is very possible that she spends more time with her children than shown. However, her story isn't about her being a mother, it is about her moving beyond the perfect mother/wife narrative that was planned for her. I find it refreshing that when they tell her story they don't turn it into a "how she balances being a comedian with being a mother" one, since (to me at least) it seems like almost all "a woman realizes she can have greater ambitions" stories turn into that, while for men that's not a thing. At this point, marvelous Mrs maisel is about midge becoming a comedian, period, which makes her children, to put it bluntly, irrelevant to a lot of the story. As a result, they are not really in it. It's one of the reasons I really like this show, actually.

[@moonlily1]

@@BookwormTVfreak The story isn't about motherhood itself, but it's about a woman who is a comedian and a mother. And that's fine, that's absolutely fine. It's great. But a well told story is thorough and nuanced and gives insight into a person and their life, such that you forget that she's not a real person while you're watching. Her life as a character takes place onscreen, so for all intents and purposes, Midge doesn't have a life that we can't see. The parent that she is- and Joel as well!- is the one we see. Midge farms out the care of her children to anyone available and gives them little thought whatsoever. Which is both a function of extreme entitlement and self-absorption. And yeah, shit parenting. If the children exist in the story, they shouldn't be treated as a narrative afterthought, unless they are an afterthought to Midge. It appears that they are. If it's supposed to be a story about a working woman and motherhood isn't a part of that story, then she didn't have to be written as having children. Mad Men wasn't a story about parenthood either, but the characters WERE parents and you got a sense of how that was part of their lives.

[@moonlily1]

@Turquoise Cheetah I want to make it clear, she isn't a bad parent because she doesn't subjugate her career ambitions in the name of motherhood, but because she's rarely seen with her children, rarely mentions her children, and doesn't appear to give them much thought. She doesn't show an interest in them or factor their well-being into her decision making. She doesn't act like she cares about them. So either she doesn't, or the writers have completely ignored the role parenthood would play in a working mother's life, which is a failure to flesh out their character.

[@maggiemcfly5267]

Also, are we not taking in account the fact that Midge's generation was the one that birthed the Helicopter parenting one? They aren't terrible parents but they fit their time period, besides they are middle to high class, all the more reason for them to be the way they are.

[@Sophia-nk9po]

This show is also not set in 2019- back then that was the norm for most parents with wealth like them and it wasn’t questioned at all- it’s by no means a model for today’s society.

[@CarreonClassVideos]

I think the context of the times has to be taken into consideration. Parenting in the 50s was different than today - parent's weren't as hands on and affectionate. Behaviorism ruled the day in Psychology and it basically said not to give kids too much attention...it would spoil them. So I think it's a little true to the general ethos of the time. And since it takes place in the 50s that's what you'd expect to see.

[@preppingmama]

It's important to note that they are portraying 1950/60's parents.

[@forgetfulstranger]

uh no, that's not how parents were in those days esp Midge

[@preppingmama]

Ummmm...yeah, upper middle class 1950s parents were very much like this. Left kids with whomever. Out drinking to all hours, etc.

[@alyssaschlickeiser]

@@preppingmama Probably accurate for high class new york young parents 😂

[@preppingmama]

@@alyssaschlickeiser my grandparents were not young or high class and not in NY and this is how they parented.

[@rebeccaelliott9770]

I find Rachel’s response strange. Joel is right than their are portrayed as not being ready for kids. Not necessarily that they don’t love their kids but they are really disengaged and detached. It isnt viewers being unfair - they are just responding to what they see on screen

[@commonunicorn1975]

He pointed out that they’re both bad parents. The problem is that they’re honing in on Midge for being the mother.

[@cianap.281]

The show doesn't focus on the kids. I'm watching Season 2 and I forget they even exist. That would probably change if the child actors were old enough to exchange rapid-fire dialogue. They'd suddenly be able to show Midge having a relationship with them, because that's how the show works.

[@Jearbear1987]

I don't think anyone is a "perfect parent". I know from experience as a male who raises my sisters kids while she works 80 hours a week that it is extremely hard to always be the best at everything. She is constantly at war with herself about free time and how to spend it. She is exhausted when she comes home and on her days off she just wants to either sleep or go to the gym or run errands. She feels guilty about it. There are a lot of parents who feel guilty about working or not being there 24/7. The kids in the show have everything they need and Midge and Joel have so much help that a lot of parents or single parent doesn't have. Also its a FICTIONAL SHOW. The shows premise isn't about parenting or telling people how you should parent. It's about a female comedian trying to get her big break. That comes with tours and not being around a lot. I think she does it perfectly. Again ITS A SHOW calm down people.

[@raephaelemasirnille5794]

The comment section is just for fun. At least I hope that is how most prople see it when talking about a a tv show. Its fun to pick out holes and talk about the story line. Please don't take it serious when people criticize fictional characters. It's all done in fun. It's a great show just hard to ignore something that smacks you in the face.

[@brandi5126]

They aren't great parents. They aren't super involved although Joel seems a tad more involved than what we have seen of Midge so far. But at least they are leaving the children with grandparents that love them. They have a support system that allows them to be less involved. They were just really young and under prepared for the sacrifice of parenthood and I think that is a story, although ugly to watch, that resonates with many in a similar situation.

[@raephaelemasirnille5794]

When mom is out of the house and dad is alone with the kids he and everybody else calls that babysitting. You don't babysit your own kids. I always correct people when I hear them say this. I even hear some moms say it. Society needs to change its views on this. Fathers are equally responsible for the kids as mom.

[@raephaelemasirnille5794]

@UC1ZquAw5d9ijdnb8PHKLmmA Yeah, I don't think grandparents need to step in and raise the kids because the parents have decided they have better things they would rather be doing. That's what separates the good parents from the bad. Grandparents only need to step in if the parents are sick, Incarcerated or dead. Being a parent is hard.

[@FortheBudgies]

I think the comments are really due to the fact that the focus of the show isn't her as a mother but as a person.

[@natalieschwarz1932]

Omg Joel without the accent!!!!!

[@c0ronariu5]

“Where’s the baby?! WE LOST THE BABY!!!!” But yes, emphasis on the “we”. I don’t believe midge is solely the bad mom, I believe midge AND Joel are both bad parents.

[@skwirl828]

"unfortunately they have these kids..." says enough right there.

[@michellezevenaar]

My mom had so much help from family, mostly her parents. Now shes a grandmother that rarely sees her grandkids! She was extremely lucky she had all that help! Shes seen my 19 month old 4 times for about an hour each time. She doesn't help me or my sister with her 3 kids at all! I wish i had as much help as Midge does! It would make my life so much easier.

[@moonlily1]

Midge isn't a bad parent. She isn't a parent at all. They produced children, then dropped them on other people and occasionally visit them. Their children are taken care of, just not by them. The kids are safe, but they're probably going to grow up hating the both of them. Probably Midge disproportionately, which maybe a little unfair, but then again, she isn't doing this to make a living to take care of them, she's doing this for herself. And there's nothing wrong with that, except her children aren't a priority and she shows no interest in them whatsoever. Which is going to hurt them. The criticism of their parenting is actually completely fair and right. They suck. Midge and Joel too. But Zegan is right, they just had kids because thats what you do, not because you really want them. They're probably going to grow up to be drug addicts.

[@Lockn3s5]

It's pretty damn clear. The story isn't about Midge's parenting or even her children. They aren't the focal point. I think it's kind of a running gag that the kids aren't all that important to the show but that doesn't mean they are bad parents. But you get enough scenes with them that show how Joel & Midge are good parents, they just don't linger on it too much. The show is very clear in what it wants to show and cuts out what's unimportant to the overall story i.e., the kids. I used to think maybe Midge wasn't a good mother but then I started to notice some smaller scenes with the children. She's just a regular mother. It seems normal for her to have a child to take care of. The show doesn't go out of it's way to correct your assumptions about her as a mother. It just shows you directly that she is a mother and nothing deeper is trying to be derived of that. It never even comes up as a talking point between the characters. It just is and that's all it needs to be.

[@jfh-dr2xu]

I always thought their lack of parenting skills stemmed from the fact that they didn't actually want children, they just had them because that was expected, if not demanded of them because of the time period. If Midge was born in a different generation, I dont think she would even had children at all. Poor parenting isn't just prevalent with Midge and Joel, but with all the parents in the show. The side characters have kids just to have them. Midge's parents do not support her, or listen to her, and tried to demand she be with an unfaithful husband as if it was her fault. Joel's parents instill him with poor values. Midge and Joel care more about themselves, and Midge along with rose repeatedly criticize Esther for her appearance though shes a baby. Joel on the rare occasion of showing interest in his children, he only ever shows interest in his son rather than his daughter. It's strange that the actress for Midge defends the parenting, and strange they received flack for the poor parenting from the audience when it's so clearly intentionally written that way.

[@violetchantress5796]

And also y’all we’ve got to remember, what good would the show be even if they were amazing parents... definitely more boring amiright

[@alyssaschlickeiser]

That's what I was saying 😂 I'm okay with them pursuing their dreams rather than a show about them raising kids. I love the show 😂 idc if people wanna complain about them bad parents, it's a fucking show

[@zuziako]

I don't treat the kids in the show seriously. They're almost non-existent, always either shoved off to somebody else that's supposed to be watching them or just passing through the background. The amount of time and attention Joel and Midge give them is minimal, and not at all realistic. I don't see it as bad parenting though, it's just how the show is structured. It's clear they are not the focus of the story. They're fantasy kids.

[@poojaahirrao5701]

Waiting for season 4

[@hameyjane]

Shirley and Rose are my queens

[@limorshakar8952]

Just bad kids 😂.... love it 🥰

[@hkaos]

Leave it to Jane to cut through all the bullshit. Yes, they're both bad parents. The fact that Midge gets more shit for it sucks, but they are both bad parents. The show's not about the kids, they're just plot devices and they're interacted with as such. I fully get the actors having it in their headcanon that they're doing the best they can, but that's not what comes across in the show and I'm pretty sure it's intentionally written that way.

[@kristinLB]

Brilliant show. Love it!!

[@katehache]

People are shaming them as if daycares don't exist for a reason. As if people don't send their kids off to school all day and then put them to bed at 7:00 so they don't have to deal with them.

[@tanyam5471]

The cast and the characters are just marvelous

[@sectionalsofa]

To me it's iike the opening of season 1 of Everybody Love's Raymond. "It's not really about the kids."

[@raephaelemasirnille5794]

No, they are not good parents. My heart broke when they were sitting around with the grandparents making out a schedule for who would be taking the kids. . 95% of being a good parent is being there. And you cant be there with your kids if you are on tour. I have mixed feelings about Midge. I love that she is doing something for herself, following her dream after Joel blew up her life especially living in the 1950s. But she has to sacrifice being with her kids. Society is hard on moms but not dads. You could tell Rachel was not comfortable with that question the way she danced around it. She did not want to criticize Midge. But I love, love, love the show. Rachel is funny and beautiful. Love her dresses!!!

[@ApexPredator21]

Abe is one of my favourite character of all time👌👌👌👌

[@lynnb3221]

I love the show, but I often question why the writers have them with kids. They have no place in the plot and just make them look like horrible parents. Midge goes to Paris, on tours, to the Catskills (with the kids but then they conveniently disappear) and out all night and there is no mention of the kids at all. Why bother having them?

[@openmindedgoldencage1698]

This is a tragic element of this series. I remember one idea from „The Help“- movie which is sets to similar time period- is sad when children have their own children. Joel and Midge aren´t mature. They got married when they was around 20 y.o. (maybe less) and it looks like they had no other partnesr before. The series started at the time when Midge is around 25-30 years old and when she is abandoned by her husband, she begins to set her priorities. For example, she finds that she is not parental type- like mother of two small children. She began to break free from the role of the perfect wife in the 1950s. She starts with stand up comedy, starts to be independent woman, starts with dating with other men than Joel. But at the same time she has two children and she is not prepared for this responsibility (cause it´s not her priority). The another aspect is a approach to raising children in 50s among higher class. Maybe you noticed, the parents of Midge they are cool to her and set firm boundaries. She had probably never experienced a warm parental love. About Joel I don´t know. He was pushed to be husband, work somewhere where it didn't suit him and live near to Midge´s parents. He also isn´t prepared to be father (and husband at all).

[@lucyfoster4082]

The children are props.

[@RiseAboveThis92]

This is great, but I can't get over how odd it is to hear the actors using their actual accents instead of their show accents!

[@piyaliya08]

It could be reflection of the kind of parents Amy and Dan are in real life until I looked it up and realized they don't have kids. So then it could be a reflection of that too lol. But the characters should own up to the fact that the kids are neglected the most or treated like silent objects in the show. It's only about the adults, we get it.

[@markpeppers6950]

People understand these are fictional parents right?

[@samanthab1923]

She looks like Kate Winslet

[@bradyvasichek5719]

From what we see they aren't great, but we also don't see every moment of their lives.

[@SugaStarr]

They are NOT good parents. That’s the very clear answer. She’s never ever with them even when she’s not touring and Joel is busing trying to open a club and get laid.

[@Shizalumni]

No. No they’re not.

[@lisasolier504]

It’s absolutely a fair question. Joel’s role was being the provider. Midge chose to be a stay at home wife and mother. No one forced her, and it isn’t the children’s fault if she felt pressure to be a wife and mom. Joel’s character is rightfully slammed for cheating on his wife and family. Midge deserves criticism as well for being a bad mom. Period. They both suck. And I can’t empathize with people who disregard their own children.

[@NatashaEstrada]

Ummm in the late 1950's a woman would have had almost zero choice about being a stay at home wife and mother. The only other choice she would have had is to be a spinster which considering her family wasn't really a choice. Don't act like there were many choices for 1950's women. That's the entire point of the show.

[@Andsoitgoes1]

As the 1st season shows- Joel wasn't really providing, didn't even had a clue what his job was. Midge at the very least was a very supportive wife - cooking brisket for his time-slot, taking notes for his act, getting dolled up at all hours for him. She is the one taking them to the park, reading bedtime stories, planning bday parties etc- Joel doesnt do any of that shit