The Necronomicon

[@joshporter5205]

Also available in-room at any quality hotel in Providence, Arkham, Innsmouth, and the Miskatonic University area.

[@Jesses001]

I would totally read the Necronomicon...but not out loud. Heard too many stories about what happens when you read it out loud.

[@suzum69]

You definitely heard too many stories...

[@AWikkedMoon]

We have all been miss led. The 5 pointed star really represents the Holy Spirit. We were made in her shape. She is the Image of the divine source Father Holy who brings forth the real True Trinity and her name is MAN. The crucifix should be on this book as it is in the bible. Because the crucifix is the symbol of torcher, murder and death. The crucifix is the most evil symbol that has god(real devil) dead on it. Christ can not die. God died 2000 years ago. Christ got rid of him. That's why when kids look up at it for the 1st time and say, "who's that"? The parents say. "that's god", Lol, they are right. Look MAN! The 1st god was bragging millions of years ago saying "I am the one and only. I am in need of nothing. I am a jealous god and thou shalt have no other gods before me". Then the Holy Spirit shined above them and said "There is one before you. This one is MAN and the Son of MAN". So then the gods said "Let's us make a MAN in our image". So then the gods started making the huMAN(MAN walking upright). Do you want to see some real scary truth of everything? Some real knowledge of real MAgic? Haha. This knowledge is not for EveryBODY. But it is for EveryONE. "The Gnostic Truth, The Sacred Secret". kzbin.info/www/bejne/eYCcp2aFfquhrq8 Peace. P.S.(Pentad Supreme), Christ said, "I AM the Son of MAN". He never said he was the son of god(devil).

[@adorablecreature79]

I used to be a hopeful young man, full of sincerity and love. I suffered from a condition known as Christianity. It's a disease that affects millions of people every year. But then I discovered the Necronomicon. It opened my eyes to the vastness of the cosmos, the terrors of time and space, and our insignificane in the universe. Within a month I was driven insane and now wear my family's faces as hats for great Cthuluh! I've never felt better! Thanks Necronomicon:)

[@draxiss1577]

The actor advocating for the Necronomicon does the whole 'Charismatic Cult Leader' thing really well. I notice he tends to do this sort of head tilt while he leans forward. I've seen it in other videos on your channel, and it's great.

[@bensilver28]

Draxiss lol maybe he’s just copying Christian people that try to recruit you.

[@draxiss1577]

It's also an excellent source of romantic poetry! It's how I got my new girlfriend. She loves it! Won't stop caressing me with her tentacles and other, more unspeakable appendages.

[@johnnivek9653]

You know what? I'm happy for you. I hope you and your Eldritch abomination live a happy eternity, until the rise of the Old Ones of course.

[@mandridhugh9555]

as a Lovecraft fan, I find this hilarious

[@speterson0859]

Me too.

[@JosephNanni]

You are the target audience.

[@JosephNanni]

And also you.

[@petervansan1054]

make more videos, even serious ones! Seriously, there is so much mythos stuff lacking on the youtube

[@JosephNanni]

Thanks Peter. You caught us at the perfect time as we are about to launch more! Please subscribe to the channel and check out our other mythos vids... both serious and funny.

[@Chaosblade777]

"It lets you open up terrifying vistas of reality!" "Aww man, only vistas?" "Well give it a chance!" I love how casually this whole conversion goes along, though you should have had the converted accidentally open up a hellportal to Cthulhu's realm and summon the Old Ones themselves to purge the world of all...sorry, getting off track. Great video!

[@exmo74]

"It opens up terrifying vistas of reality." I've never heard Fast and Testimony Meetings described so succinctly.

[@Spencer_Beard]

I'm a Mormon, and just laughed my ass off! great parody!

[@josephperkins4857]

yes it is funny

[@sherwos]

As a practicing Mormon who find's the church's ads often unbearable, this was absolutely brilliant! Great mockery!

[@MoneyIsSilver]

"If knowing the unknowable is crazy, I don't wanna be sane." LMAO!

[@MollyBlueDawn]

I always wonder how they keep coming out with new editions when Alhazred has been missing for centuries...

[@Kayriel]

Missing does not mean gone. Missing doesn't mean he can't keep writing. Missing MIGHT mean he has found the star-path between the eaves of the white shore and the void ocean, and sends back reams of his experiences, drowning above the depths of the sea.

[@visy23thevlogelf83]

With strange aeons, even death may die!

[@thechaseworld1]

Hey, my copy is missing page 751 what the hell

[@FrancisLaLonde]

thechaseworld1 Maybe this will help?: facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10201061981691042&l=f7947c4b4e

[@thechaseworld1]

damn, you're good

[@bfwebster]

Still one of my favorite parody ads of all time.

[@NominalistWay]

"Give it a chance, what do you have to lose?" My sanity?

[@JosephNanni]

At the least.

[@vaascooook8678]

I love it how the guy in the blue shirt often makes profound expressions 😂 Jolly good show!

[@hear-and-know]

Wow, 11 years ago! This is such a gem, very nicely done :))

[@JosephNanni]

Thank you. I feel old.

[@catchPegasus]

Only vistas, eh? -slight disappoint face-

[@adamwarlock1]

That's my favorite moment. Whenever I hear the word "vistas" it comes back to me.

[@loonelytoon6523]

Why everyone think poor Abdul was mad? He was just... a very sensible guy

[@adamwarlock1]

He had anger management problems.

[@bfwebster]

Cracks me up every time I watch it.

[@deadmau5]

so much win. :D

[@MrBluntz]

You a devil worshipper eh deadmau5?

[@Dan_Cattell_Art]

The ad that pops up at the end was hilarious.

[@JosephNanni]

+Dan Cattle Thanks!

[@jeffreysommer3292]

+Joseph Nanni (Bad Advice for Good Times) Please do more Lovecraft-oriented commercials!

[@JosephNanni]

We're working on it! Please subscribe and keep watching!

[@jphiled6554]

It is based on Book of Mormon commercials from around that time. Great parody!

[@daver5120]

So you'd either go mad from the revelations or be on your knees begging for a new dark age?? Pfft... He'd be a fool NOT to read it...

[@depausvandelilithkerk5785]

Or be devoured by an invisible beast in the mids of a bisy market square like Abdel El Hazred

[@jasonbornonthefourthofjuly1351]

Only vistas...eh?

[@ritawing1064]

These are delightful. Very many thanks to all concerned. Can't wait for the stars to be right.

[@JosephNanni]

I got a feeling the stars are getting righter.

[@studio-era]

had to swing by & give a thumbs up. Well... back to STumbleUpon, I guess...

[@FlockofSmeagles]

YUSSSS!

[@luise7221]

ever since I found this channel I've been in love with your content. I absolutely adore this video and I find myself always coming back; keep up the great work!

[@JosephNanni]

Thank You Luise!

[@HeadBangerArtist]

HE OPENS THE BOOK IN A PUBLIC PLACE ! LOLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!.......

[@Juonsteel456]

HeadBangerArtist I've done that tons of times

[@DJl3iohazord]

+HeadBangerArtist what better place to open it at?

[@Sekhubara]

+DJl3iohazord I like how you think.

[@zskr257]

@@DJl3iohazord somewhere in your house's attic I suppose

[@HalloweeNut13]

All hail Cthulhu!

[@SStrongIsNeverWrong]

Fuck yeah!

[@pandaphil]

@badadvicegoodtimes I was at the Saturday night showing. It was a real treat to see you guys up on the big screen again this year. Congrats!

[@ChrisGladis]

I read the Necronomicon and it changed my life. Now instead of worrying about what may come in the future, I spend my days praying for the sweet kiss of oblivion. Fhtagn!!

[@olubcs44]

I have searched for amazon, ebay, etc, and I haven't been able to find THAT version of the Necronomicon, it looks so beautiful... This video was hilarious, thank you so much.

[@Special-Delivery57]

I’m still loving it even after all these years Joseph!💥⚡️❤️🤣❤️⚡️💥

[@JosephNanni]

And we love you for loving them.

[@galaxyace1688]

with forbidden knowledge... nice

[@ClaudioDrews]

"Is this the DSM-5?"

[@brucedickenson5760]

Coming to a theater near you!

[@JosephNanni]

I wish.

[@macsnafu]

Hilarious! The bound and locked book is a nice touch, but you'd still think that the EOOTOO organization would have come out with some cheap miniature editions to pass out. Maybe with those diary-type locks.

[@BurntFrost]

The important question is if it's the John Dee or Olaus Wormius translation, everyone knows that you can't trust the Dee version for the important things in the life.

[@Morsoth]

This is so well made!!! I laugh every time I watch this!!!

[@JosephNanni]

Thank you!!!

[@lionmml]

This is BRILLIANT!!! I hope you all take pride in your work because this is totally fantastic.

[@MegaSuperwind]

Thank you ; I just read necronomicon and love so much

[@gerdo45]

Wow this is fabulous! :)

[@JosephNanni]

Thank you!

[@rgsworld999]

Abdul Alhazred (all has read.) Howard Philips Lovecraft the inventor of the Necronomicon mentioned the book in his short stories of hia Chutulu mythos. Abdul is as fictional as the night gaunts and Dagon. His works were based on real sources considering he was a shut in and lived with his two aunts. I'm sure what he all has read played a part. They had magic books which filled his dreams at night and upon awakening he would right them down, publishing them in Weird Tales magazine. Great stories!

[@BREATHxOFxHEAVEN]

so glad this video exists

[@jameshalleluyah8133]

I'll join up as long as I don't have to tithe!

[@speterson0859]

Lovecraftian horror is best horror.

[@alpyki2588]

If you need something to ease you into the masterpiece that is the necronomicon, I heard Sutter Caine works very well.

[@rosaluxemburg1670]

DO ANOTHER ONE! THIS WAS GREAT

[@JosephNanni]

We have a new one premiering at the Lovecraft festival today.

[@rosaluxemburg1670]

@@JosephNanni Hell Yeah.💜 Is that online?

[@shaunathompson3438]

that guy has been in a couple of videos on this channel (plumber in the Elder Sign vid). He's good. Where else can I see him?

[@JosephNanni]

He's a teacher. Part of our ensemble.

[@eddiejc1]

If you're anxious to read this book because it supposedly has a great chapter in Cap'n Crunch, you may be confusing The Necronomicon by The Mad Abdul with Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson.

[@TrintellixLeGaulois]

I like how it looks like an assurance commercial.

[@demonchildme]

Tears of joy. Finally, something that's not trying to make us in to conforming do-gooders.

[@zammeee]

This guys are insanely good actors.

[@loganblakeslee8280]

I need to go to Barnes & Noble, today!

[@geligniteandlilies]

Smart, comedic brilliance. I love it. You guys are amazing.

[@katsujinken10]

hahahaha awesome! I myself have responded to proselytizers by saying "But have you heard the word of Azathoth? Well they aren't so much words as the piping of flutes from the centre of chaos where its gnawing tentacled mass reigns as the blind and mindless lord of all creation."

[@JaefarSABNW]

The Necromonicon may fail the linguistic test, but it is representative.

[@levonpoe]

I have read the Necronomicon. Fascinating

[@JosephNanni]

And you're still sane?

[@jphiled6554]

I still remember the old Book of Mormon commercials on TV that this parodies. Glad someone has a sense of humor. :-)

[@JosephNanni]

Many people don't. LOL. Glad you do.

[@YoBadMama]

It only took me 50 days to study and comprehend it! Now im a babbling cultist, thanks Necronomicon!

[@TheQueenoftheDead]

I love it! That was the best commercial ever!

[@rincewin]

This is the best video I've ever seen! This was really, really well done guys!

[@yitz28]

Love it! A must watch for all lovecraft fans

[@JosephNanni]

@MagicalTrumpy The prop is an old German bible. I inverted the cover and removed the gold leaf type. The shapes embossed on the cover were completely random and visually perfect. There are a few pages I made myself with images of Cthulhu and such. The prop was made for another project concerning a Latin translation of the Necronomicon. In the story, the case is retro-fit from an M1919 ammunition case by allied soldiers who liberate the book from the Nazis at the end of WW2.

[@necroanomymous1198]

This labyrinth will invoke your fear of hornets.

[@VRTXProductions]

This was great

[@Nelak91]

*Maniacal laughter and then serious face* i love it :)

[@moparmonster1965]

Absolutely correct; in addition, the "That is not dead which can eternal lie and with strange eons, even death may die" couplet isn't in them.

[@Albyint]

All these people thinking the necronomicon is/was real does a service to the amazing H.P Lovecraft. Their genuine belief of its reality makes him immortal in such a way that we, as living mortals, cannot comprehend.

[@liambussell]

That is awesome! Not sure if its better than Elder Sign, but you guys ROCK!

[@HunterJE]

Just saw this at the encore performance of the Seattle International Film Festival's Sci-Fi and Fantasy Short Film Festival, and it was definitely the funniest short of the morning.

[@lulztopus]

For further reading 4 of of 5 cultists recommend The King in Yellow

[@ZestonN]

This Is Great! 😂 Just like those Mormon and Scientology commercials from the 90's. 😂

[@JosephNanni]

Nailed it.

[@NoxInflux]

HAHAHA. The Simon version just doesn't contain enough! I want that copy!

[@firesniperbullet2]

I love how they talk about this crap so casually

[@alejandrodelatorre2240]

omg i want a copy of that book

[@nerdofgod4167]

Check out Donald Tyson's version of the Necronomicon. Not a fancy binding or n e thing.

[@fancifulfilly]

I remember a scene from one of the Movie Macabre B movies Elvira used to host, where this woman reads the book, and wakes up looking like a frightening old lady the next day. Which prompted Elvira to come on and do a commercial for "Oil of Old Lady", saying "Girls...tired of looking younger than your age? Now you can be uglier, too! With Oil of Old Lady".

[@toshatrollwarrior]

i gotta get my hubby a shirt for ...that "organization"! lol

[@JosephNanni]

Sincere thanks. You keep watchin' them, we'll keep making 'em.

[@theorabbit]

There were loads of books like this around 700 AD but the thing that made Abdul's one so special is the fact that the pages were human skin and the ink was blood!

[@djgizmoe]

@SupraJulie Thanks for the voice of reason - you're 100% right. As for the video, it's really, really good.

[@KuzanTheSergal42]

Haha That book looked friggin cool though.

[@crayolahalls]

Awesome. Thank you!!!

[@nerdofgod4167]

Be careful fellas. You don't want a Shoggoth getting loose in the house.

[@Przemko27Z]

+Just Ben YOU don't want that.

[@JosephNanni]

+Just Ben Why not?

[@nerdofgod4167]

Joseph Nanni hard to get rid of if they get in your walls.

[@JosephNanni]

+Just Ben Not to worry...there's HPL Insurance: kzbin.info/www/bejne/gGnIe32ViNKimM0

[@SoylentSystem]

I am begging for a new dark age now

[@aufheben555]

Absolutely love this video, great job guys!

[@Mrkabrat]

-Does it help you be a nicer person? +After reading it, you'll be beyond "Good" or "Bad"

[@cthulhufhtagn7138]

+Joseph Nanni I cannot access your site. It is essential I spread my madness to as many mortals as possible!

[@JosephNanni]

What do you mean?

[@cthulhufhtagn7138]

badadviceforgoodtimes.com gives me This site can’t be reached badadviceforgoodtimes.com’s server DNS address could not be found. DNS_PROBE_FINISHED_NXDOMAIN

[@cthulhufhtagn7138]

You make CTHULHU CRY!

[@JosephNanni]

We will look into that. In the meantime: facebook.com/Bad-Advice-For-Good-Times-Channel-280914601920626/

[@cthulhufhtagn7138]

Iä! Too bad Facebook is too mad for even me!

[@aquilegia4380]

I've just (try to) read one very particular comment for this video which seems coming straight out of the Necronomicon itself

[@Clematisian]

Thank you, badadvicegoodtimes, for uploading this spoof. Must-see afterwards? The Adventures of Lil Cthulhu, an animated short, right over there in the Related Videos column to the right! ~ (•8-D

[@Jackolan722]

This is a hoot!!! Great Cthulhu!

[@grando111]

Best commercial ever!

[@GrigoriZhukov]

Yes, yes it is.

[@JaefarSABNW]

That is awesome.

[@101lifescience]

Good One, Really well done!!! So Funny!!!

[@mackenziedrake]

*G* Like this one a lot. You really got the Lovecraftian pregnant pause from Hell timed perfectly.

[@Wylie777]

bad choices.... bad choices...

[@Rados130]

I must read this book.

[@doom7ish]

*hears Necronomicon* "where can I buy one?"

[@netsquall]

I can say I am a happy conv-THE WORLD WILL PERISH UNDER GREAT CTHULU NO ONE WILL SURVIVE ONLY THE FAITHFUL-ert to the LDS. A wonderful book. :)

[@lilithrevised]

The funniest is the awkward pause while he decides if he should tell his friend about the book.