The PAIN of Decluttering | This is Why One Should Exercise Caution While Thrifting

[@meaganmalone2511]

What I really like about your channel so far is how you are extremely transparent about the reality of what decluttering/no buy looks like. I think decluttering and no-buy can become almost consumables in themselves when influencers present them as these shiny things for viewers to watch. But your channel reveals that this is a complex and sometimes painful process. I think what that does is actually give viewers a good reason to (1) try not to get themselves into that spot in the first place and (2) show the cascading harms of overconsumption. It's not just about doing bad to the environment or taxing your wallet. It leaves you with a lot of stuff that you'll have to deal with one way or another.

[@Alexas.nobuyyear]

Thank you. It does feel like a process where I have to confront again and again the almost hypocrisy of what I'm trying to do, and it is sometimes painful not just in the time and energy doing tasks like this, but in the conflict of thinking as well. Or is it the pain of growth and change? I don't even know. Anyway I'll continue to try and do my best over here 😅

[@starrya5647]

This was the video I needed today :). I can relate to everything you said on so many levels. Thank you for being vulnerable and motivating me!

[@emmy8526]

The pain of reselling and low returns is precisely the point. It’s there to make you realize how much work each new item takes, the effort to rehome it, how little money one gets back from the supposed “investment”. It will help break a binge and purge cycle, hopefully. Also, if the money from resale is the only money you’re allowed to use to buy new non-essential clothing, that too will help low buying going forward.

[@Alexas.nobuyyear]

For sure! I was a bit shocked to notice the difference in the effort I perceived this time vs. all the other times I'd resell stuff though - I used to not feel like it was such a pain, I think because the "promise of buying something new" using the resale money was "worth it" to the old me, and I'd almost be excited at the idea of selling stuff to make room/funds for the new 🤯

[@TheThriftyTherapist]

Thank you so much for your insights. I was raised a thrifter and have exclusively thrifted all my adult life. It's just been how we clothed and furnished. Then came the era of my hungry ghost shopping and I became overwhelmed by the compulsion to acquire clothing treasures at the thrift. Now, thankfully, I am with you in keeping a wardrobe that is curated and intentional. I have much less turnover and consumption thanks to now having intimate knowledge of my personal style, and to doing the inner work including no-buys. The little turnover I do have is lovely because I trade and consign and it makes me a part of the circular style in my small town. I love seeing another woman wearing something I once loved. I love knowing the ladies at the shop and them consulting with me about obscure and vintage pieces. It's finally a gentle passion instead of a consuming passion!

[@Alexas.nobuyyear]

That sounds amazing! I'm still working on the knowledge of personal style - I know it'll probably always be some kind of "work in progress" but at the moment I still have many "eras of clothing" in my wardrobe, and while I don't feel "true to current me" in everything, I'm reluctant to part with so much that I used to wear and love. I'm not rushing it this year though, if in doubt I'm hanging onto it to make that decision later, maybe when I'm not in the midst of this "no buy challenge period" where my thinking is kind of buzzing and bouncing all over the place in relation to consumerism, and I can find a hopefully more balanced resting place!

[@amykatrina7542]

Hungry ghost shopping! I love that expression

[@miel_d_abeja]

Trying to resell my clothes is always more of a huge waste of time than actually worth it. People don’t seem to want to even buy NWT items at a heavily discounted price. It really makes me want to drop all my items off at a thrift store and simply stop this cycle once and for all. I don’t know how resellers do it. I see their hauls on YT and most items, I would never purchase because I think they’re really unappealing, but yet, they claim to make six figures. How??! Not that I’m interested in reselling as a job, I simply want to rehome my items.

[@marynorton6068]

I agree! I notice some of my items are in high demand and would sell quickly, but the majority had no interest. I assume resellers are clued into which things are high demand.

[@chickadee818]

This. I’ve dropped off designer bags to thrift stores because I knew they wouldn’t sell and it’s just not worth hanging on to them.

[@miel_d_abeja]

@@chickadee818 100 % Agree.

[@Alexas.nobuyyear]

Yes I think I'm going to set a time limit and do all the "price dropping" etc. but afterwards depending on the item I may look for a women's shelter or similar to try and avoid general donation...or even save items for when my kids grow (I've already done so with some of the more "basic" items, tshirts, etc) as I know it'll happen faster than I think and we do have space for a clothes bin in a closet.

[@holl33ta]

I feel the same! I donate my clothing to the local animal shelter that has a thrift store. It goes to a good cause and I don't feel bad about not taking the time to resell my clothing. In the past, I've set aside boxes of clothing that I've meant to resell and just never got around to it. Some of that clothing is essentially vintage now lol

[@marcicook3166]

I recently found your channel and really enjoy it. You’re so relatable and real, plus you have a soothing voice to listen to. But most importantly your topics and information are spot on. More people need to live this way, stop buying so much and start living intentionally and responsibly. Also as a full time reseller, I can relate to the pain of listing and posting items. Luckily I enjoy it, but as you are aware, it is work. Lastly your music playing is my favorite, so beautiful! 🎻 ❤

[@taylor3342]

I love the metaphor, making our wardrobes an exclusive, at capacity club where everyone inside is a perfect 10 😅

[@AlexHider]

Reselling is truly never worth it, NEVEEEEEEERRRR. Unless you got something truly valuable for free or close to it, it’s purely an ethical exercise to rehome items. After selling and shipping fees, time and efforts spent on mailing it out, it’s almost easier to give it away. Really shoots the idea of “oh I can always resell it” in the foot.

[@candylove1234]

Where I live, there are very little resale options so i end up donating or recycling most of my clothing. For me, the biggest thing was not buying clothing online anymore. I only buy instore where I can try things on

[@eimearlooney523]

Can relate to so much of what you said in this video. Both times I sold something on Depop I bought something else with the money ! I used to constantly justify overbuying by thrifting. The one thing I will say is here ( in Ireland) most thrift shops are Charity run so at least the money has gone to a good cause, better to have a thrift habit than a fast fashion habit but still it is overconsumption for sure. Love the idea of your wardrobe being an exclusive club. If I see something I would like to buy I have to come up with something from my wardrobe to get rid of in exchange. Since I really love most of my wardrobe it stops most purchases very quickly. Have just finished 1 month no buy & think I’ll keep it up for August.

[@DaysAfterDecluttering]

Yes, the option to resale led to a lot of over consuming for me too. Bags, clothes, etc. However, selling is a waste of time and time is life. I realized I didn't want to waste days of my life shopping, listing, packaging, shipping. Also, shipping is completely opposite of eco-conscious and sustainable.

[@alicem1111]

I send you strength! I started listing things in Mercari in January. The hardest part for me is finding the right packaging to get the correct weight😂. It feels really great once things start leaving the house. I have had zero regrets so far. And I’m glad the new owners have left awesome feedback and seem to love everything- that feels good. I transfer the money to my bank acct after it reaches a certain amount ($200)so I’m sure not to buy anything I don’t need. I’m glad there’s a way re-home all of this stuff, but I pray i get through it and I never get in this situation again. I’ve never been too crazy about thrift stores because it’s usually too cramped, but I’m a massive sucker for used book/music stores. I really don’t regret much from those purchases.

[@Alexas.nobuyyear]

I've actually done it a lot before and when I was still "shopping" I didn't find it as cumbersome. Oh I've made tons of used music purchases too, and then I switched from the violin to the viola and had to re-home all of the violin sheet music as well, luckily that was much easier 😅

[@JoanneRayment-e3t]

Such a merry go round to be on! I was really good for 6months, fell off the wagon, really bad, (but only buy great quality), resold to feel better, saved, now spending again!! So hard to stay on track-your videos are a great reminder to keep trying!

[@Alexas.nobuyyear]

Yes! It's always better to dust off and get back on the wagon no matter how many times we fall off 😄

[@MIOLAZARUS]

I used to do this.. Had to re-sell on the flea market and also buying new used items there.. vicious cycle..

[@Genevieve_vds]

The second-hand FOMO is so real!

[@NoOctopuss]

I recently sold everything on Vinted. I sold it all cheap just to get rid of it, and it's not like I owned anything expensive. I'm rebuilding with colors in "True Spring" because I've seen the difference when I wear "my colors". I had those clothes for enough time and they got plenty of wear. I'm buying inexpensive stuff on Vinted to replace my wardrobe, but focusing only on the colors in the palette. I originally started with buying and selling my kid's clothes, because it seems like a huge waste when they wear something for such a short time to buy new. Yes, the process is a pain, but I think it's worth it because you find the next owner to pass something on instead of making it someone else's problem by donating it (not that thrift stores complain if it's quality stuff). I don't feel my problem is shopping though, so I don't feel out of control. All my clothes could fit in one suitcase. My problem is defiinitely sugar! That's the kind of consumption I need to reduce!

[@Alexas.nobuyyear]

Oh yes I've been trying to be mindful with sugar/food additives as well! But I don't think I feel comfortable addressing "conscious consumerism" of food here - possibly too triggering for people 😅

[@amykatrina7542]

I tend to fill up a bag and send to Thrift+, the items get rehomed and resold, after fees a percentage is donated to a charity of my choice and I receive what's left. I don't get a huge amount in exchange but for me it's worth it not to have to list, package and post every individual item. However because I am aware that it's a bit of a short cut, I very rarely declutter at all so that I'm trying to get the most use out of the things I have. Thrifting is definitely a weakness of mine though, it's great for when I actually need an item as I can avoid using fresh resources, but I have to try to learn not to just casually browse, as that's when I start frittering 😅 especially when there's only one of an item because it's second-hand, I can really convince myself that it's more urgent than it is for me to have it.

[@nolasavedmysoul]

I have been selling my clothing/shoe/accessory hoard for like 5-6 years now. Very slowly but surely. Each item in and of itself seems completely not worth it. But at the end of the year when I have gotten back $1,000-1500 then the totality seems much more worth it. I’m getting to the end of my hoard though and have been getting more and more tempted to just drop the rest off at the homeless shelter.

[@bthomson]

One of the few (very few!!) times I have enjoyed a music overlay! Usually I hate them!

[@racheljames9187]

Thrifting can certainly decrease barriers to consumption in an unhealthy way :) At one point yours truly owned approximately 100 thrifted cotton shirts... it was hard to fit them all in a cupboard and my hanging clothes definitely couldn't breathe properly (sill have that issue but with a much smaller cupboard now). I found that when I started to more carefully curate what I bring in and had a smaller collection, I enjoyed my clothes much more. These days I have a fairly loose limit of 12 thrifted items per year (not including $5 bags of clothes from the tip shop, which I buy specifically to rehome sometimes, the tip shop treats clothes appallingly and they get ruined there... they're all jumbled together exposed to birds and weather). Besides some socks and undies, which on reflection I actually didn't need to buy yet (still had enough in good condition) I haven't bought a new garment in around 3 years. I am more excited about my clothing than I have ever been having finally invested in some good second hand pieces on depop (I kept trying to fill a gap with pieces that weren't quite what I wanted to save money... news flash, that definitely doesn't save money in the end! I now own several pairs of overalls I rarely wear because they weren't the Lucy and Yak corduroy overalls I always really wanted :P). That being said... where I live it is fairly unlikely that by purchasing something at a thrift store, especially if you rehome it if you eventually decide it doesn't work, you stop someone else from purchasing it. Clothing donations are so high that new pieces are sometimes considered unsellable. Only 10% of items donated to a thrift store are ever resold, and my taste is a bit quirky so I often find my pieces in the 'last chance' section.

[@Alexas.nobuyyear]

That's incredible about not buying new clothing for so long, and having a limit that works for you! Hopefully I too will get there. When I think about thrifting something preventing someone else from buying it, I have those instances in mind where I'm looking on Poshmark or Depop or wherever online, and I "like" an item and am thinking about it but then eventually might cave in even if I'm not 100% sure, due to "FOMO" because there are other likes and only one of the item. I used to not be great about waiting or having the perspective that it's just a clothing item and the world will keep on spinning if I "miss out" on getting to try out that new-to-me thing. 🙈

[@CassieTsui]

So glad to have come across your channel. You have inspired me to buy less and be mindful of each purchase after spending my early 20s constantly shopping for new clothes. Thank you for being so real and transparent. I’m in the process of listing and selling my clothes on resale apps. I’ve actually been enjoying the process of packing order as it feels pretty relaxing to me. However, the painful side lies in taking the parcels to the post office/collection points. When selling clothes for less than £5, is it really worth my time? Hopefully this will teach me to manage my money and time better. Really grateful for your videos, thanks so much ❤

[@Alexas.nobuyyear]

I'm glad it feels relaxing! And well at the point of taking it to the post, at least it's guaranteed to leave your home. And the money does add up little by little - or, maybe less than 5 pounds but it still might buy a cup of tea? Which, if you get to sit down at a cafe or something, could be another relaxing kind of treat. For me, once I've got something listed I don't actually care as much how much money I get from the sale as much as I do about freeing myself from the item and the mistake of the past, although any $ is definitely appreciated and gets added to the monthly budget 😅

[@xiovandijk933]

I am glad and thankful you made this video as i am experiencing the same journey 😅

[@SimplyKatieWalks]

You know im with you in this town... do you have power? Im on day 3 of no power or internet... funny though, im decluttering with my time!🎉

[@bthomson]

How dependent we are on electricity is horrific! How many times, during a black out do I decide I'll just microwave my coffee! DUH!

[@SimplyKatieWalks]

@@bthomson oh my gosh, I went to vacuum a few mins ago!! 🤦‍♀️

[@Alexas.nobuyyear]

Yes I was thinking of you! We actually only lost power for minute, so things have been pretty normal, fortunately for us. I hope yours will be restored ASAP 🙏

[@matrescence_motherhood]

I don’t have time to resale things. I don’t feel like making $5 off of something is worth an hour of my time. I’d rather just donate it to one of my local smaller thrift shops. Thrifting addiction has been a struggle. I love the idea of being a reseller but the return on investment is too low unless you do it full time.

[@azsubie3177]

Well, you are officially in my head or my twin because I've said these very things to myself as I do the whole revolving thrifting thing, too. I have contemplated exactly what you speak of and I remind myself of my goals to be a better consumer!

[@shellbell8062]

Oh the creative justifications I come up with in the name of shopping. I have finally made a lot of progress with not shopping, but one thing I have done is when I see something I really love; and I have something in the same vein, I see if i can sell the one I already have in order to allow myself to purchase the new one. In a way (am I justifying again?) it does make some sense as in each case I wasn't getting much use out of the original because it was too long / too baggy, too high neck etc and the new version will be worn - but it also means that I am making a purchase and continuing the 'revolving door' syndrome. I am ready to break up with Vinted now and move on with my life!

[@cindyklempner7203]

This content completely resonates with me! As always, thank you.

[@angelaa.9915]

It really is very difficult and time consuming to responsibly rehome your decluttered items. Even giving things away for free, in order to ensure it goes to someone who wants or needs the item (I’ve done this with my kid’s clothing and toys), is WAY harder than you’d think!!

[@Alexas.nobuyyear]

Same. I've also done this for some kids stuff (I try not to focus much on that side of life on here although it does come up occasionally). And it's always a reminder that they don't need as much as I tend to bring in and it would have always been easier had I not acquired the stuff in the first place 🫣

[@angelaa.9915]

@@Alexas.nobuyyear that’s true… and then there are all the gifts… 😵‍💫

[@tomjones2157]

@angelaa.9915 I find giving away free extremely easy with 3 options - as long as you are happy giving anonymously. It's only hard when you want to choose the end user so you can snatch at a cheap feel good moment.

[@Rjohnson246]

I just wanted to say thank you for the effort and thought you put into your videos, especially with a baby to look after! Your videos have helped me so much, and are always on such great topics. And THEN! You put the effort into editing and all of that, with time segments and everything. (P.S. I also dread uploading stuff to resale apps)

[@Alexas.nobuyyear]

I try, and hopefully there'll be more "hits" than missteps over here. It's very time-blocked (to coincide with nap time or after bed-time 😁) and I'm 100% sure the amount of content will decrease when my "regular job" resumes in September, but it's a fun way to self-reflect in the meantime. Really the timestamps are just as much for me, in helping point out the arc of my speech and remind myself of the "important" things I've learned!

[@kedaninna]

I simply either sell to a local thrift store or donate. One mother at my daughter’s school bought an everlane trench coat from the thrift store, and since then whenever she finds an everlane piece she would ask whether it is from another round of my declutter cycle.

[@Alexas.nobuyyear]

Love that 😄

[@JehanineMelmoth]

I don’t resell, but I think thrifting is healthier here - our thrift shops are all charity shops, and they’re tiny, too, compared to American ones. They usually have bags of stock piling up that they can’t put out until there’s space. I managed to give up shopping retail by switching to charity shops, and instigating a one in, two or three out rule. Influencers can’t get you to buy anything from a charity shop, either! I’ve saved money and time and it’s a lot more ethical.

[@paulat5921]

Thank you for the video.

[@Alexas.nobuyyear]

Thank you!

[@alcnwonderlnd]

I don’t struggle with thrifting but I struggle with declutterring. I do hand over a lot of things to family members and I’m lucky that my things usually go to a home and not the landfill (not yet anyways). However, I shouldn’t be buying things when I know that I will just end up declutterring it. I’m definitely better now but I do still find myself giving away things when I would be better off having that money. And oof, I snapped back to reality when you mentioned paying your dental bill because I’m in that same boat. It’s tough because I’m starting to Christmas shop early (I start early 😂) and I am finding my self wanting to buy things for myself because duh I have a shopping problem. My biggest problem is my love language is gift giving so I often use sales to justify buying a mass amount of gifts but of course I will almost include a gift myself lol. For example, I had to buy a couple of housewarming gifts and used the BBW sale to justify buying more hand soap than what was necessary, ugh, this is exactly how stores get me! At least the hand soap will get used but i could have just purchased hand soap at the grocery store for way less lol

[@Alexas.nobuyyear]

I used to start Christmas shopping early too! The sales just keep popping up from about now all the way through to the holidays 👀

[@NoOctopuss]

I use Vinted to get rid of my/my kid's clothes. I enjoy being a responsible consumer by reusing. I may only sell something for £1-2 but I then I use that to buy clothes on the app as well. We do need some clothes, and I only have a few outfits that all fit in one suitcase. When I was in high school (90s, in the US) I thrifted 95% of my (way more massive) wardrobe - everything was actually cheap and of course there was real vintage available then! I enjoyed and wore it all, then redonated when I was done.

[@Siures]

Actually liked selling on the flea market (mostly fast fashion then) and also on online places (kid’s clothes, sustainable brands I would search for as well, I also sell some things for other people in my family). It makes things available as you said. I actually use my credit because I need new kid’s clothes almost every season. But I also bought a few items constantly checking on the app if I sold something. Probably my kids had a few items less for this winter if I wasn’t browsing on a Second Hand App 😅 As I noticed my behavior adding clothes for me as favorites that I don’t need I again tried to make the shift to „make it last“ again. Fewer clothes, repairing what we have. I’m happy I catched the behavior when I only bought one olive Parker for autumn for me. I hope I will actually like to wear it.

[@chickadee818]

BRB, transferring my Mercari balance to my bank lol. I fall into that trap all the time but with perfumes and makeup. Looked through my Sephora history to discover I’d sold a good portion of what I had bought in the last 18 months. Once again the only fix is to stop buying stuff.

[@Alexas.nobuyyear]

Feels like one of those cases where it's the "most simple fix" (just stop buying stuff!) but also somehow more difficult than it "should" be 🫠

[@cecilemayor4037]

How about organising a clothes swap party with friends instead of spending time with the unloved task of listing the things online first sale instead? Much more fun - and more sustainable!

[@racheljames9187]

My friends and I recently did this, it was great :) I gave away some pieces I rarely used and got a few I wear and love. Helps that many of my friends and I are the same size, except I am shorter :)

[@Alexas.nobuyyear]

This would be great! At the moment I'm a bit short on friends who live in my city, and the couple of female friends I do have here are decidedly different sizes/styles to me 😢 I once participated in an organized, public clothing swap in New Zealand, and that was very fun, bring in a number of items and receive vouchers to go "shop" with other "swappers"!

[@evyn-fong]

Hi! Thanks for your videos, it's been fun following along on your journey. This is random but I'd love to know what instrument you play! You talk often about concert blacks so I'm curious lol. Good luck with the rest of your no buy year! (btw my guess is violin or cello haha)

[@Alexas.nobuyyear]

Close! I play the viola, right inbetween violin and cello 😁 but I did start on violin!

[@evyn-fong]

@@Alexas.nobuyyear Ooooh, that makes sense!! Thanks so much for the reply ^^ Hope to see you play the viola during one of your intros then!!

[@Alexas.nobuyyear]

@@evyn-fong I did play some Bach one time for my intro! In the video where I talked about my general life story awhile back, but I hope to do more of it in the future!

[@LargoWinch-th4gm]

Hi dear. I could resale my LV bag, but im scared that no one in Croatia dont wont by 10 y.o. Briefcase. In EUROPE we dont have ‘’amazon’. I dont have capasity for world AD or shipping. Whot you think?

[@Alexas.nobuyyear]

Sorry I'm not sure, firstly I have no experience really selling designer items, I just know about the websites where you can "consign" those (the Realreal, Fashionphile, Vestiare Collective?) so those might be my best suggestion?

[@LargoWinch-th4gm]

@@Alexas.nobuyyear thank you. you are really attentive and kind. I will try your suggestions. greetings from the sunny Croatian coast