The Pope and the atheist.

[@wellingtonsboots4074]

Aah the memories of watching Dave Allen on the telly!!!!

[@AndrewGraziani-k7d]

Good joke, told by Dave Allen the greatest joke teller I've ever come across.

[@Robert_The_Builder]

I always loved Dave Allen’s sign off. “May your god go with you “. Brilliantly respectful and contemptful at the same time.

[@billpetersen298]

God, I used to love this guy.

[@canadaclaret]

Do you mean you used to love this "god" guy, until you realized he wasn't there? As an atheist raised Catholic, I can relate.

[@billpetersen298]

@@canadaclaret Dave Allen, when he had a show on TV. He wasn’t mean, always clever, good hearted. I was raised Catholic, then went to a Protestant boys school in Alberta. As far as I remember, it never made sense. (The why do they try so hard, to pretend to know). The louder and more dazzling the carnival. The more obvious it’s a carnival. With all its confidence tricksters, narcissists, thief’s, and hidden Jewels.

[@christophernewman5027]

He was great. 😊

[@AM-ni3sz]

He is the best.

[@raypurchase801]

He always will be.

[@rdl8878]

He looks like a young Ken Barlow.

[@canadaclaret]

Exactly.

[@CgGoil]

👏👏

[@gillian6526]

Oh, bring back the days! And I'm a Christian 😂

[@RPaton]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/r6aqm5Z5d96Jr8U

[@Jagamy]

The Pope is Italian??

[@WilliamSmith-mx6ze]

From 1523 to 1978, yes, the Pope was indeed Italian.

[@JustWasted3HoursHere]

@@WilliamSmith-mx6ze Wow, that was one very old Pope! ;)

[@thehairygolfer]

@@JustWasted3HoursHere It just shows how old you can live to be if you keep away from women.

[@JustWasted3HoursHere]

@@thehairygolfer Ha!

[@georgebush6002]

​@@thehairygolferIt is not safe to assume a Pope is celibate.

[@TheChiefEng]

Well, that pretty much describes almost 70% of all Americans.

[@puirYorick]

!woeM

[@9Ballr]

The only difference is that you think you found it.

[@dave438-jw3]

Do you mean the Catholic Pope, the Coptic Pope, the Orthodox Pope of Alexandria and Patriarch of Africa, or the (currently vacant) Orthodox Pope of Rome and Patriarch of the West? Pope is a Greek nickname for father (like pop in English, but they spell it with a long o, so we add a silent e at the end to show the long o); every parish priest in Greece is called Pope, as every parish priest in England and America is called Father.

[@ruthcollins2841]

He's talking about the Pope who resides in the Vatican. Dave Allen is Irish.

[@MrMyers758]

I mean the Italian accent should have answered the question for you.

[@FlyingSpaghettiMonster2000]

It doesn't matter

[@brandspro]

You must be fun at parties.

[@jackwinter308]

Mate go get a tea and biscuit you've Internet enough for one day

[@RamonMarais-k2k]

That is hitting the nail on the head. Blindfolded in a dark room.

[@MrTiti]

what a foolish....... babble

[@rolandwoltman7835]

Sorry if this is too deep for most but it must be said: And yet the photon goes back in time to decide if it is a particle, or a wave should you choose to turn the light on to measure it with your eyes. THE people of faith are those that do not believe in Intelligent Design. To have such faith to believe no "great programmer" was needed to balance all that we see and interact with is a tremendously ludicrous amount of faith. The amount of 1 in a million things that happened so that our sun doesn't just fly apart well before we exist is staggering. Hydrogen and helium wouldn't have captured electrons, and the elements would have never made the initial stars and those stars never would have exploded to make the matter that makes us... without a tremendous unfathomable amount of balance created by the programmer. The *faith required* to proport atheism is possible is truly _staggering._ What makes the sun not fly apart *is the very breath* of that black cat you would assume we cannot possess. The black cat's path is... everywhere... in everything. Cross the black cats path, ignoring its ever presence at one's own peril.

[@greyeyed123]

@@rolandwoltman7835 Only the straw man of atheism requires faith, and it only makes sense if you are innumerate and fallacious. A) The reason the sun doesn't fly apart is not the breath of god, but gravity. B) "Atheism" is a lack of belief, and a lack of a belief is certainly possible as it occurs inside someone's head. Atheism isn't a claim, a state of existence, or a cookie recipe. C) Randomness is very, very stable and doesn't require a programmer. D) Asserting a "programmer" explains nothing (because it ostensibly explains everything, everywhere, no matter what it is or how it presents itself--"the programmer did it" adds nothing). E) The universe didn't have a "goal", much less the existence of humanity (or life...or you). I know it's hard to imagine, but the universe doesn't revolve around the goal of YOU existing. (And the likelihood of you winning the billion dollar lotter is MUCH higher than 1 in a million, yet someone still wins. Mathematically, saying GOD made that person win is completely lacking sense. You might as well say a unicorn did it because you don't understand probabilities. F) Randomness always leads to balance, no programmer needed. G) The "observation" of the particle doesn't change its position because a "mind" observes it. It changes its position because in order TO observe it, you have to hit it with a photon (light), which changes its position. No physicist is going to say quantum superposition requires a disembodied mind (or a regular human one imposing magical observational qualities) to explain it. H) There was nothing too deep for me in your post, but I hope anyone else who reads this will be educated.

[@collynha6952]

@@rolandwoltman7835 That's just stupid

[@rolandwoltman7835]

@@collynha6952 Like I said, sorry if it too deep for you.

[@josephfarrugia2350]

EPIC! Dave Allen is sorely missed.

[@michellaboureur7651]

The only difference is you found it……and you would make us believe it.

[@LouisEmery]

Now do it with a Polish, a German and then also a Argentinian accent.

[@jeffhunt2905]

The legend . “Bastards!”

[@petyrkowalski9887]

“Claims” to have found it

[@kennyorr7338]

Perfect!

[@McRocket]

Brilliant. ✌️

[@gillessteffen5419]

😂 I love it

[@bazcuda]

"..., the only difference is, is that you pretend you found it."

[@khymaaren]

It makes no difference, as it's established beforehand that there is no cat.

[@bazcuda]

​@@khymaaren You can't find something that isn't there.

[@khymaaren]

@@bazcuda Hence the punchline...

[@BubblePuppy.]

Blindfolded in a dark room is the perfect place to find your spirit and try to understand and deal with it. Christian or Atheist. Your consciousness is not a tangible object.

[@graydanerasmussen4071]

Especially since a lot of "being you" goes on at "lower" levels in your brain and body: We are not conscious of most of the input we receive, from our eyes, our ears, skin, glands and so on, and much of the processing of this input also happens without our conscious knowledge. We are pretty complicated items! :)

[@duncreg]

Does that Brit have booze and cigarettes at his side?

[@einundsiebenziger5488]

He is also giving the Pope an Italian accent. The last Italian pope died in 1978. That should give you an idea how old this is. Almost everybody on TV was a chainsmoking alcoholic back then.

[@amandagordon7932]

He's not a Brit, he's Irish

[@branimirnikolic4559]

the joke is stupid. why would anyone describe an atheist in that way ?

[@chinmayoza8300]

In fact, the atheist is someone who's blindfolded in a dark room not willing to look for a black cat that he claims isn't there, whereas the pope is like someone who is blindfolded in a dark room claiming there's a black cat simply because he's found it.

[@patbrennan6572]

Claims to have found it is more like it.

[@eugenebell3166]

Bloody marvellous, had me in tears 😂

[@YouTubeallowedmynametobestolen]

Absolutely brilliant, and dead-on.

[@petergriffiths4846]

Genius.

[@nirfz]

There's this quote i heard once: "there's no atheist on a burning airplane" ->When the situation gets hairy everybody starts praying...

[@BarnDoorProductions]

Some of us would be trying to put the fire out.

[@CgGoil]

I have heard that too many times, and its really ignorant, because why would an atheist pray and which god would that atheist pray to? An atheist is a person who does not believe in a god, so it would make no sense to pray to one. And if the atheist would decide to pray, he has thousands of gods to choose from, with equally nonsensical myths. So which one should he choose? Usually an atheist would try to fix the situation, instead of hoping someone else would magically come and do it for him.

[@hibernopithecus7500]

The atheist is the one looking for the parachute.

[@edzejandehaan9265]

So you're saying religion is driven by fear. You might be on to something there.

[@nirfz]

​ @CgGoil There's a difference in how people act when they are in fear of death and when not. The base for the quote is that when a situation is wihtout hope and without anything the person themselves can do but wait, it is an option that makes the time go by and if it doesn't help, it didn't make the situation any worse or harm anyone, and if it does help, then it helped.

[@NickyNustar]

I should be the next Pope. I literally am haloed by God, have had at least three prayers answered immediately by God in some form, and have been visited by angels / higher beings of light. The Pope himself also canonised the founder of my school in the UK, The Oratory. The last and only Englishman in YEARS to be canonised by the church. St. John Henry Cardinal Newman. And I'm more blessed than him, in our generation... with more epiphanies than I can recall, when only one is enough to prove God to a soul. I have studied the Bible in parts extensively, including going to the original Ancient Greek sources for precision on matters, and can understand and write a bit of Latin. Yes, I went to Saint school... and for me, it worked, because I know the truth of holy illumination by God (One might argue: 'The illuminati' in reality: The apocalyptic crowned sons of God). No, the enlightened ones are not shape shifting lizard alien paedophile Satanists, like weirdo's believe. They're chosen humans by God for their faith. I am one... And all the above is true. But many of you, are so dimly lit, so brainwashed, so inculcated with atheism, you consider the truth 'delusional' / 'psychotic'. No wonder the world is the way it is. Too many shallow minds.

[@chamicels]

pride goes before the fall.

[@NickyNustar]

@@chamicels The truth is not pride.

[@asinglemaleinuk]

The earliest biblical writings are in Aramaic, not greek, it was translated ( wrongly) into greek

[@NastyLittleBagginses]

You should _absolutely_ go to the Vatican and insist that they proclaim you to be the new pope. Don't take no for an answer!

[@NickyNustar]

@@NastyLittleBagginses I tried once. Long story.