The Problem With Trad Wives.. (and The REAL Reason They Are So Popular)

[@maddymedelina2612]

My mom was a stay at home mom since I was 7. She had all the money, my dad wouldn't do anything without her. She would do the budget and was never, ever put in a situation where she felt as weak or vulnerable because she stayed home. Guess what? She didn't recommend it to either of her daughters as a permanent situation.

[@DrewPera]

I think you're pretty spot on with all this. My wife is a stay-at-home mom, but it was mostly because I made enough to support our family, and she wanted to keep them out of day care. Then we ended up home schooling as well. She does run a photography business and Etsy shop on the side so she's still bringing on money. We are 100% equal partners in our marriage and I wouldn't have it any other way. She is a boss.

[@CândidaArlindoCataca]

This. ❤

[@guysumpthin2974]

How to be miserable: bang on the first date , be greedy , be angry, lie always, be lazy , worship alcohol, be prideful, be envious,be self-centered ,,,,

[@sjmom5119]

awesome !

[@sanaforcitycouncil]

The trad wives online are all RICH. They literally wear $500+ clothing in their videos and flaunt their wealth

[@MeltedPearls]

Thank you! That is a huge point.

[@nicknickson3650]

Real trad wives don't use social media.

[@ced.ricooo]

A lot of influencers are like this. Their lives are a lot more interesting to look at when they have wealth and nice things.

[@Ruin0rRapture]

Trad wives in the 50s and 60s were also rather wealthy. The vast majority of families of the time were duel income because they had to.

[@tavifagascon]

“The amazing thing today is: WE HAVE THE CHOICE!” Totally agree with you! Everyone should do what they want to but they have to know the cost they will pay in a long run whatever they want to be full time in the work force, full time at home, or part time in both.

[@tavifagascon]

Thank you for this video Shelby

[@alyzak.8997]

Beautifully put. Everyone has a different measure of success and they should be able to live their life as they see fit

[@guysumpthin2974]

Media influence & educational institutions($) have been heavily one sided(family destruction) for a very long time

[@lemondrizzlecake7766]

As a working mum of a ten month old, ladies, choose your partners wisely. It doesn't have to be exausting and horible. Women are not genetically predisposed to do more housework and childrearing. Choose a life partner who will truly be your equal, and you won't feel like you have to do two jobs. Because you won't have to. I have no childcare help, we don't live close to family, it's just myself my husband my baby, we are not wealthy, we don't have housekeeping help. but we raise our child 50-50 and we take care of our house 50-50. It is possible. Men who want to be involved fathers & partners do exist, and the ones who don't want to be honestly aren't worth having a child with.

[@clh3239]

Ask any person in their '60's -- my mom was a a mom during the 1950's-1960's. She was angry and resentful and grew older to speak to her resentment that she didn't get the same educational opportunities as her siblings. Her father (my grandfather) allowed her to major in anything other than home ec. This movement is disrespecting an entire generation of women who fought for equal rights. Think about it -- in those days SA or DV were shoved under the rug and a lot of women died. And you're right -- it's become more and more imperative for families to have 2 incomes.

[@StefanTaf]

so true

[@hannw7]

I’m a solo, full-time working mom also running a small company full time. I’m exhausted. I lost everything to my ex-husband including the home I bought before I even met him and my 401k. I’m 53 and have been single for 10 years and will never date or marry again. Ladies… listen up… GET A PRENUP no matter which side you’re on!!!

[@_marie_bee]

I’m so sorry this happened to you. Thank you for sharing. Wholeheartedly agree with a prenup!!!

[@MeltedPearls]

Thank you! It can be tempting to try for the illusion of a perfect little life, protected from poverty and society by a "strong man." I see why some might see it as a kind of pleasant bargain, but it is a fantasy, period. Women who fail to put any significant income on the books will find life impossible if they ever get injured or divorced or sick or simply stay alive long enough.

[@MiZzThANGz21]

Thank you for sharing and warning others. Did you lose those things because you didn’t have a prenup? I read somewhere that they can still get half of your assets even with prenup but I’m not sure how that works. I guess it depends in the state.

[@Chethakmp3]

Hi. I'm so sorry. Thanks for sharing. I hope you can become better soon. Happy belated Mothers' Day too : )

[@-Ordinary-Average-Guy]

Men usually get screwed over way more than women in a divorce. Just sayin. After my own parents divorced, my father had nothing. He dated his share of women but made it clear that he would never get seriously involved with a woman ever again. He still managed to retire 20 years later when he turned 57. He would have never been able to do that if he had remarried. He's 84 now and enjoys his 4 children, his 7 grandchildren, and his 5 great-grandchildren.

[@Cinthoza]

I would consider myself a “trad wife”. I stay home with my 2 daughters and I keep a beautiful, clean home and make 3 meals a day. Honestly, nothing has ever been more fulfilling in my life than doing this. I’ve worked and I’ve also had my own business but at the end of the day I just want to be an amazing wife and mother to my children. I am extremely blessed to have a husband who works hard and provides for our family. I have always felt that my daily efforts are worthwhile. I know this life isn’t for everyone but for some of us it works.

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

It works until it doesn’t, and the stats show time and time again that it doesn’t work for most. I sincerely hope you have a backup plan and measures in place should something happen.

[@gewrgepatsl7519]

​@@tiahnarodriguez3809, totally agree.Life is full of nasty surprises,there must be a plan b.

[@fixinfkinsandwiches6183]

You are fortunate to be the exception. Many men these days can’t or don’t want to be completely financially responsible.

[@StefanTaf]

and that's great, no one wants to ban u from being a tradwife

[@Godsloveministree]

You did a really good job with this video! I love how you looked at this topic from multiple angles, and with fairness! Bc of where im at in life/my faith journey this lifestyle has been increasingly intriguing to me. However, not to the extent of no possible job, no personal goals, no personal income, etc. way of being. Maybe just elements of this lifestyle stand out to me! I think you nailed it when you compared it to watching the Kardashians. To a degree, these lifestyles look very glamorous! I also love that you pointed out this is a rich/leisure person aesthetic, and that a lower class person living this lifestyle wouldn’t be as interesting to us. Just really love your approach with this vid🤍

[@pillingthemsoftly4738]

Man or woman, it all boils down to you finding a mate who actually has integrity, morals, trustworthiness, and loyalty, isn't a cheater, bad with money, etc.

[@laurabelle1338]

Some moms actually like being home with their children. It's not out of necessity . It's the desire to spend as much time with your children as you can so you don't miss a moment of them growing up. I've been both a SAHM and WM and SAHM was way better.

[@varcraz1124]

You realize that desire can also only be fulfilled if your SO is financially stable enough? Which might not be the case with everyone. Good for you for having your experience, but not everyone who wants to stay home with their kids can always afford it.

[@ForeverFashionGirl21]

I think you can if you make sacrifices- ie job chosen and where you live. The lifestyle you want is something that can be achieved but it may mean moving to a rural place where houses are cheaper and taking a job that is less desirable but pays more on the husband part. Living on a strict budget.

[@guysumpthin2974]

Same for some men of character, “don’t want to miss a thing”

[@guysumpthin2974]

Real love : “the most valuable thing on earth” - the owners manual

[@guysumpthin2974]

Both spouses must be “of the 7 virtues” , not the 7 deadly sins , otherwise it just ends badly, with generally miserable kids

[@samanthasimmons253]

Very good video and points out many perspectives on both sides. From my personal experience, I dated a very wealthy man who preferred more of the Trad Wife lifestyle and really liked having the power within the relationship. For him it wasn’t about love, it was about, “you need to look and act this way, so you make me look good and I will pay for everything.” - type of situation. It got to the point where it became emotionally, physically and financially abusive and we weren’t even married. He even wanted me to get ‘enhancement surgeries’ done so I would look a certain way he thought was more beautiful, or an improved physical version of myself. I learned my lesson the hard way about the ‘trad wife’ trend, but I know it could have been harder if we had gotten married. I cannot imagine what life would be like, how my nervous system would be even more damaged and how scary life could be. I think being a Trad Wife could be very dangerous and it’s always good to have some kind of part-time job, even when you have kids, no matter how amazing your husband is. It’s also better for your mental health to have friends and a work life outside your home.

[@DMitsukirules]

Traditional lifestyles of couples for most of human history. Man and woman both work the fields. Man does more physically intensive work that it's harder for women to do. Both raise the kids. Woman might get a short break during nursing but quickly must return to work or everyone starves. Often times has to work while a child is attached to them. Alternative life style is woman still does similar task, but men expand their task list to hunting. Men are the hunters over women pretty much everywhere, but women still do agricultural work. Generally, in most societies, it was a mix of both, and men have ALWAYS had to also work fields and help produce a stable crop. This entire idea of women not working and sitting around not doing anything is a literal fantasy. As humans acquired more resources it became a status symbol to have enough wealth that your woman doesn't have to do anything. This life style is insane for most humans as not doing anything is not stimulating in anyway. No, cleaning a house is not the level of stimulation required for most people not to go bonkers. This entire tradwife trend is hankering back to a time where people picked a random IDEAL and tried to obtain it, and the closer we got the more we realized it wasn't all it's cracked up to be. Even if you have qualms with the kinds of messages sold to women today, implying that the solution exist in a very minor portion of human history that had a ton of social issues and didn't work out that well (hence its lack of longevity) is foolish at best. Driving your arguments on how society should be based off random dreams about what might be cool is foolish, no matter what you pick those arbitrary dreams to be. I wish this whole lack of perspective and validation through calling stuff "traditional" would just end already. It's absolutely ridiculous.

[@UlexiteTVStoneLexite]

That's not traditional that's the way things were. Before the industrial complex we didn't have the ability for one person to not work because everybody had to work their land to make their food.

[@DG-hw8it]

​@@UlexiteTVStoneLexite There's always been prostitution for the pretty. 🥂

[@thehammah8039]

I was like Trad wife what's that? lol your best one yet!!! My mom on mommy's day when I was young ran down to kiss her in the guest room because she finally decided to divorce my dad. She said two things to me 1. I could be president if I wanted and 2. Always have your own money. To this day the best advice I have ever gotten ❤

[@CasContents]

When women had more BABIES then thoughts?!?!!? Where do I even BEGIN with this?

[@minhaaj]

Such a crap video. Feminist crap vomitted.

[@laurenroberts5668]

It’s a fake quote! Doesn’t excuse the rest of his speech but that quote isn’t anything he ever said.

[@gitanastanciauskaite3893]

@@laurenroberts5668So what?! Why we have a need to always excuse men for anything! Just no. He said enough.

[@laurenroberts5668]

@@gitanastanciauskaite3893 literally said it doesn’t excuse the rest of his speech, but that quote in particular is absolutely false and being spread as if it was true. The way you want to ignore facts and reality is dangerous tbh.

[@gitanastanciauskaite3893]

@@laurenroberts5668 Oh sorry I read that wrong!

[@eljj7968]

When I saw this title I was like wtf is a trad wife hahaha. Then you started talking about that speech I was like ohhhh right, the whole traditional wife thing. I don't have TikTok and was not really aware this was a thing. Interesting discussion! I'm super independent and can't imagine anything worse lol. I totally get that some people want to be stay at home mothers, but that's a different thing.

[@DMitsukirules]

There is literally nothing traditional about the stuff people say is traditional. "How things were in the 50s" is not the traditional normal human experience. Humans existed for over 40 thousand years before a 10 year span 70 years ago.

[@stevenporter863]

The 1950s style really only lasted a very short period (between the prosperous post WWII period and the 1960s) and was a kind of failed social experiment.

[@Justforthefifteen]

We can only talk about what was traditional given the culture, time and country we live in. We can’t possibly encompass every single culture across time to shape a traditional model. So for the western civilization as we know it they doing traditional the right way

[@UlexiteTVStoneLexite]

Lol yes. And it's only representative of a small portion of the population in the US only. These things just weren't the case for non upper class people and these things were not the case for most of the people outside of the country. Oh yeah I forgot to mention it was only particular "types" of people in the US. Minorities did not get the same "luxury".

[@UlexiteTVStoneLexite]

​@@Justforthefifteendon't forget who you are in that country as well. It's not like any of this was done by minorities because minorities were not given the same courtesy. This was white men coming home from war that got these perks and the white women that went along with them. This did not extend to minorities. Pretty sure all the redlining was going on at this time.

[@zunedog31]

Literally nothing?

[@_marie_bee]

My mom was a trad wife and once my parents divorced, she was left with very little. That was an eye opening experience for a preteen. What my mom went through was my impetus to always depend on myself financially. It’s incredibly empowering. I loved your emphasis on prenups for trad wife’s. Financial protection is so important.

[@AUMINER1]

I'm betting your mother was the one who initiated the breakup and divorce, not your father.

[@amala1343]

@@AUMINER1you are insecure please seek god

[@Chethakmp3]

Hi. Thanks for sharing

[@ohthechitchat]

​@@AUMINER1so what are you saying ? Women shouldn't dare want something else? That they should stay for money?

[@AUMINER1]

@@ohthechitchat so what are you saying ? Men shouldn't dare want something else? That they should stay for a lazy bedroom or an obese frumpy house frau that cheats?

[@CaseyBurnsInvesting]

My trad wife has her own savings, IRA, education, and the ability to leave. We’re happy as we are and we don’t allow her be completely dependent should the (sadly statistically probable) thing come to pass. It keeps the power dynamic in check.

[@Justforthefifteen]

All that’s assuming that power dynamics is what makes a marriage… is that what you thinking when you see your spouse you already failed

[@ellina9816]

@@Justforthefifteenwhy? Can you specify?

[@kml.]

how do the savings and IRA get funded?

[@CaseyBurnsInvesting]

@@kml. IRA and spousal IRA. 1 savings account.

[@CaseyBurnsInvesting]

@@Justforthefifteen I feel like your reading comp wasn’t great on this one chief… there’s a power dynamic if one person earns all of and keeps all of the money.

[@laurabelle1338]

I was never a bored housewife. I shopped, cooked, cleaned, crafted, gardened, paid bills, planned birthday parties, decorated my house, went to my children's school functions, etc.

[@Chethakmp3]

Hi. Thanks for sharing. Congratulations for being married. Happy belated Mothers' Day too : )

[@juliamrtn4837]

I think it's different because you probably chose that life versus women back then didn't have a choice and not all of them wanted to be a housewife. Also you have more legal rights today than women in the 50s /60s

[@hello-cn5nh]

@@juliamrtn4837 so what. It was obviously the better choice.

[@alexandria65]

Congratulations!

[@shemeon]

This was more balanced than I was expecting. Great job, Shelby!

[@Vic2point0]

I'd recommend a traditional marriage as well, but make sure the other person actually has traditional values and doesn't just look the part.

[@melissameng5275]

Ballerinafarm's father in law owns JetBlue...their lifestyle is definitely not self funded!

[@Ajlatango]

I’m an upper middle class stay at home mom. I stay home by choice bc I prefer to raise my own kids vs paying someone to do it- but it’s not glamorous. It fucking hard bc I’m literally working 24/7. If my baby wakes up at 3am I have to handle it. And husband is a considerate man but he works a ton so anything outside of financials really does fall on me. This wasn’t my original plan- I got a college degree and I worked for 10 years before I decided to stay home, this was never my husbands idea but he supported my desire- I love being home with my kids but I want to go back to work in some form when both of my kids are in school. I do have a prenup so I do get half of everything which should be a requirement before any woman stays home.

[@Ajlatango]

And if I don’t feel like cooking bc I’ve had a difficult day then I get to tell my husband “we’re going out to eat bc I can’t handle dinner” and his answer is always “of course honey whatever you need”

[@strawberriesncandii]

And that’s okay too and you should have that choice.

[@exploringfindeverything]

Thank you for having such a great discussion! Shelby, you do such an incredible presentation!

[@rachaeloregon38]

I guess I am a trad wife but I do alot of things to protect myself. I make sure my name is on all our bills, keep credit cards and at least 1 separate bank account. I "work" an on call job like catering so I have work history when in reality I only work 10 days a year........there are things you can do. If you can keep a toe in your field, do it.

[@guysumpthin2974]

If it feels like a contest/war strategy, it’s not a real marriage

[@rachaeloregon38]

@guysumpthin2974 my reasoning isn't because I think he may leave me or anything, It's two reasons actually. We married right around 911 and he was in the marines. I had to protect myself in case he died in Iraq. Also, because I saw my mom struggling to get back into the workforce and fix her not bad but lack of credit after 20 years of being a stay at home mom. There are many ways to live life and my way is not everyone's but I am happy but not unprepared.

[@olgahapitan312]

That is the smart thing to do. I've known way to many cases of marriages in which the wife is completely in the dark about all the finances, sometimes to the point of being robbed of everything when a divorce happens. A relationship between equals means that both of you are active participants in every aspect of life, and that includes dealing with bills, properties, and every legal aspect of your lives together. I don't understand why some people think of it as a contest.

[@rachaeloregon38]

@olgahapitan312 Yeah, we have annual meeting lol, like a business. And set goals and get on the same page. You have to divide labor somehow but we can't be in the dark for sure. My man manages my retirement but I have to be the one to get it out and we have serious security for that. I feel very safe should anything happen. 😌

[@matthewsamuels75]

Always great to see that almost all females are disloyal backwards in relationships

[@vinyfiny]

My aunt was with my ex-uncle in law for almost 30 years (started dating at 20-ish). About 10 years in they got married and had 2 kids not long after. They both decided she should be a stay at home wife to raise the kids, tend to the house, pets, etc. He retired from the Navy in his younger 30's and got a high paying gov job doing programming of some sort at the Pentagon. They moved to a huge house and seemed to be the perfect couple with the perfect life. Unbeknownst to myself and the rest of our family/friends, he became verbally abusive to her and the children to the point that they were too afraid to leave or tell anyone, but my aunt started secretly recording his abusive rants and eventually got up the courage to take that to a lawyer and fled with the kids in tow. In the divorce proceedings he tried to fight for custody of the kids saying my aunt had no money and no job and that she wasn't fit as a mother, but the judge gave HER full custody given all his recorded violent tendencies and the fact that she had raised the children mostly on her own up to that point. Once that happened he basically said he didn't care about the kids and started dating another woman. He did everything he could to hide all of his assets and acted as if he was taking huge losses in his business so he wouldn't have to pay any money. He did eventually have to pay my aunt child support but it was much less than it should have been for what he made, and her and the kids had to make substantial concessions to their quality of life. That was all at least 10 years ago now and my aunt is still struggling to get a career started. Not being in the workplace for 20+ years meant she had no relevant work experience and she had no money saved up either. I say all of this to say that being a stay at home wife/mother may seem like a great idea to some women, but people fall out of love all the time. Nobody thinks it will happen, but just because you don't think it will happen doesn't mean you shouldn't plan for it.

[@guysumpthin2974]

Shelby ❤❤❤

[@guysumpthin2974]

So many comments here are about “how to prepare/protect yourself in a divorce” , it should be “how to prepare yourself for happiness & love”. For a female, when the body count gets to 5 , she has dropped her marriage-success rate to 20% , which is 80% failure

[@guysumpthin2974]

Culture doesn’t encourage the values that lead to happiness, for men & women. The trad movement needs work, but its a start at the most important things the world has to offer . Choice is essential, but doesn’t work with heavy satanic propaganda . Informed consent requires at least equal time from both sides ,and thats been missing for a long time .

[@vinyfiny]

@@guysumpthin2974 Relationships are a 2-way street. One person can do everything in their power to make it work but they can't control the other person. Both parties need to do their part. Also, where are you getting those stats? Women who've had more than 5 partners (in their lives??) have a 20% marriage success rate? What constitutes the "body count"? Anyone she's had sex with? Only committed relationships? What about men? What about women that are in long term relationships but not married? Do women who've only ever been with their husband have a lower divorce rate? Does ANY of this matter? If you want companionship and you haven't found the right person you keep looking. Some people aren't even looking for the right person and randomly find them. Some people find that person earlier in life, some later, some never do. Some find that person after they got married to the wrong person. Some people get married to the wrong person and simply never leave. Some people find the right person and loose them for one reason or another and never search for someone else. Some people THINK they've found the right person and eventually realize their partner isn't who they appeared to be. There's so many variables that make up why people are/aren't together. %'s can't possibly begin to tell the whole story. A friend of mine only dated one guy in high school, and they got married after college. They got divorced 6 or 7 years later because he was cheating on her and stealing her money. She's since remarried and seems substantially happier now than she ever was with her previous partner. She didn't marry the first person she dated either because she didn't want to make the same mistake twice; it took time to find the RIGHT person. I'm sure she falls into a bunch of different categories that'll reduce her life into a percentage and portray her in all kinds ways, but none of that actually explains her situation.

[@jeremybeau8334]

People in the USA army are mostly criminals.

[@Jeroen74]

I figured out what this slow flickering of the light in the kitchen is. It's almost certain a strobing effect of the LED lights over there. If you look closely you can see a dark bar going upwards all the time, classic strobing effect. You probably want to set the shutter speed to fixed 1/60 or find some 50/60Hz anti-flickering setting. Once you see you can not ignore it :)

[@bluejenn30]

I had to go back to see what you were talking about. Now I can't see how I didn't notice it!

[@maybeebabee1]

I thought it was my imagination at first and then maybe a person was walking in front of light.. thank you for explaining!😊

[@sinebar]

My great aunt was a trad wife now in her 60's and had to get a job for the first time in her life when her husband died. She gets about $600 a month survivor benefit which is not enough to live on. She's looking now at having to work the rest of her days. Trad wife is a fast track to abject poverty in your old age.

[@chelseanicole994]

😂😂😂😂 being a traditional wife is not a fast track for poverty. You know what is tho.. laziness. Clearly they weren't thinking about there future...

[@WoodUFF]

Sad - but If they saved for retirement she would have been fine!

[@adambrown7609]

Unfortunately, that happens. That generation did not have any other streams to earn revenue like this generation.

[@OcRefrig]

Poor planning unfortunately... that's what Life insurance is for ! if Your Married You Both need life insurance to Give you the money needed to live out your life in case of a sudden death, car accident etc. Plan for the worst... So You are Financially Ok the rest of your life.

[@Simbecile]

​@@WoodUFFspoken like someone who has never faced catastrophic illness. It can wipe out a lifetime of saving and planning in a year. Trust me.

[@omh726]

Great video! I’m glad you are bringing light to this problematic trend. These women on social media successfully promoting this lifestyle are….. career women! They are running their own business online and good for them but not good for influencing a lifestyle onto young viewers that they do not actually live.

[@ellina9816]

The worse part of it is those women had nothing else to do but gathering in gossip clubs and unite all against one (the youngest/ the prettiest/the brightest/you name it) to bully her and make her life miserable. Ones she was gone (one way or another) they would pick another victim. Most of them secretly hated everyone(husband and kids included) but put their hatred on the most vulnerable ones. Because when you are stuck on a small community, you have to either submit the hierarchy of the gossipers of leave. Otherwise they poison all the doctors/nurses/obstetricians against you, as well as other life important services. So the whole life time and energy was spent pleasing the influencilal gossipers FIRST. And than MAY BE pick up the crumps left for you and try to enjoy.

[@Vic2point0]

I'm with the tradwives. My wife and I have lived this way for 16 years now (13 with a son) and we're both very glad we did. That being said, both the husband and wife need to be traditional for it to work. And I'd actually recommend courting rather than just dating. Ask the important questions right away, so that feelings have very little chance of being caught. Because as we all know, once you've fallen "in love" with a person, it's easy to ignore or downplay red flags. So yeah, courting, even if you don't think you'll want to be a tradwife or traditional husband.

[@veesmithie]

I was a stay at home mum for five years and it took awhile to catch back up. I am now earning more than most of my friends and find it easy to find new jobs. But I would never encourage staying at home without a back up plan. It is so risky. People do change and what if your spouse dies what do you do then.

[@amala1343]

prenup, life insurance, name on the bills, wfh or part time job, and thats just to name a few. its a difference between being a stay at home mom and a tradwife.

[@wednesday55]

Go ahead and live this lifestyle if you're independently wealthy and have a great pre-nup. Otherwise, you're playing Russian roulette with poverty or domestic abuse.

[@UlexiteTVStoneLexite]

Exactly

[@hulahickey6959]

Well said

[@alyzak.8997]

You do realize that women only become trad wives to amazing loving trad husbands who aren't awful lazy pieces of shits? They vet their man correctly. 'Poverty' and 'domestic abuse' literally only happens when you choose the wrong guy and a trad wife's standards are too high for her to end up with one.

[@ABiteBetterbyEva]

Great summary!

[@Chethakmp3]

@@ABiteBetterbyEva Hi. Your profile picture is cute

[@joserq424]

Great video! I don't usually watch too many commentary videos, but decided to click on this one today and I honestly enjoyed it! You explain your thoughts really well! Thanks for the clear breakdown!

[@Caro-eq5dq]

I think you have a point saying that Trad wives are problematic. But I think Nara is a very bad example. First she is German, the way she acts is very normal for a typical German Person (not only woman). Also she is a successful model in addition to being a tiktoker. I am a manager for one of the big IT companies and I am also baking my own bread, cooking my own jam, made cheese last week and also make my own Joghurt. And my Partner is doing the same. So did my mom and a lot of my friends. This is just what a lot of Europeans do in their down time. There is a huge movement in Europe that does not like to consume over processed food. And I think this is just a cultural difference and very normal behaviour for a German household/cooking channel.

[@chinnywanders]

surely there's some cultural differences, I am married to a french man and he's always looking for his fresh baked bread. However Nara does cereal from scratch, gum from scratch, and even her husband's moisturizer from scratch. It has become more like a flex that she has this much time on her hands and she's not really showing work that is necessary such as cleaning dishes and doing laundry. I don't think Europeans do that in their free time lol

[@alexandria65]

Ok

[@BrittanyNew]

I was so interested to hear your take on it, Shelby because I would assume you lean toward feminism and I know you are not religious - contrary to myself - and also super intelligent! I think you provided a healthy outlook on the topic because too many feminists shame women for this lifestyle. You focus on financials but actually trad wives were never anti-income, just anti-job / pro home-based income such as crafts, selling baked goods/eggs/milk, sewing, even investing! Now we have online income, so I can be a "modern trad wife" too. And any potential husband should add value to my life (and vice versa) in every sense of the word or I'm not marrying them, otherwise men are a liability. I know you're not religious, but read Proverbs 31 in the Bible for the ultimate trad wife with all the best values! She had money!

[@mariailyukhina405]

I am a working mom of 3 kids. We can afford for me to stay at home, but I choose to work because it is a different mental space and the link to my own self pre kids. Caring for kids full time is very exhausting and repetitive.

[@infochannel392]

It was 1974 before "The Equal Credit Opportunity Act". The ECOA of 1974 was a turning point for women in America and their financial futures. Before the ECOA, women generally could not take out loans without a male co-signer, and lenders often saddled female borrowers with higher interest rates and larger down payment requirements. 1974!!! Don't let progress revert!

[@RichardsGaySon]

I don’t think anyone has a problem with someone who wants to be a traditional stay at home wife. What people are saying is, everyone should be able to make the choice for themselves. It shouldn’t be forced upon people to adhere to a certain role that isn’t right for them

[@Dreamy47]

I became a stay at home mother at 21 and I’m living my best life. At times it’s hard but I’d rather raise my own child than having a stranger with views different than mine, raising MY child. And this is coming from a person who was raised by a single mom who worked hard, had no help and could never be home with me. I hated when my mom worked because she was always stressed out. Stay at home moms are amazing and so are trad wives who stay home and take care of their families. Rather have women who love and care for their families than women who care more about their careers. I talked to an old friend from elementary school who is studying to become a doctor and even she said “wow being a stay at home mom is the goal. I wish I could do that.” Everyone has different values. I’m lucky enough to have a husband who supports whatever I want to do and I find that because I am a stay at home mother, I have more time to do my hobbies like art, writing and photography.

[@nessness_x]

Good for you, but to insinuate that working moms don’t care as much about their children is just NASTY. “Rather have women who love and care for their families than women who care more about their careers.” Shame on you.

[@07tthom]

​@nessness_x Yes. That's a horrible thing to assert and completely privileged as most women have to work to provide for their kids and families. And if anything ever happens in her marriage, she's going to be starting over on her own.

[@saphiaer]

@@nessness_xalso why call out women who care about their careers in a negative light but no mention of men

[@Dreamy47]

@@saphiaer my husband works from home and spends a lot of time with us whenever he has the chance. And because one of us has to have a career or we would be homeless. I just chose to be the mother at home. Men can be stay at home dads too but I find that most women would rather be at home with their kids because they don’t want to miss those precious moments with their growing children.

[@Dreamy47]

@@nessness_x there are women out there that do prioritize their careers over their families. I’m just stating the facts. Not every women is like that of course.

[@aimeekelly1172]

I have a degree, but I chose to stay home and raise my two kids (now teenagers). I didn’t want to miss anything. I did sub at their schools for a while, only because I could be on their schedule. Yes, I could have pursued a career, but I don’t have any regrets putting my kids as my priority. I understand not all families are able to do this. I feel blessed that I could.

[@Chethakmp3]

Hi. Thanks for sharing. Happy belated Mothers' Day too : )

[@Alyssaa948]

Another amazing video!!! I do not want kids but want an equal partner. No weaponized incompetence for me. I am a loud and proud independent working woman. I want a partner that is just as intellectual, loving, giving, silly, and kind as I! And that is always willing to learn and grow through the complexities of life. I will not settle for anything less. I have amazing friends, family, and even coworkers!!! I feel extremely blessed. Can’t wait to find my partner to share these special moments with me.

[@PhantomMagician1846]

as a man I can tell you its a bit of a turn off when a woman says she is "Independent working woman" so you might want to keep that under wraps. the qualities you are seeking are good ones and there are men who do have them. you may have to kiss a few frogs before finding your prince. I wish you the best and am sure it will work out for you

[@alyzak.8997]

i see you babes but it is unhealthy for either party to be independent in a relationship. It won't work if the 2 of you don't depend on eachother in some ways and pick up the slack in others. Be realistic. Men and women are different but complimentary. There is a dynamic of feminity and masculinity which isn't something to be worried about- it's beautiful. Going too far against or for the 'trad wife' isn't healthy. Good luck

[@Yolomamba24]

I mean you hit the nail on the head. It's not the trad wife lifestyle people want, it's the wealth and free time. And people can't or choose not to see past that to all the downsides and potential consequences

[@fuel_ethanol4020]

>could be building a people and organizing >instead selfishly condemns any others trying to do so >ultimately her purpose is to keep the status quo This is why Women are not leaders nor inventors.

[@ed6391]

When you allow someone to feed you, you also run the risk of them starving you. I kinda left the work force due to extreme burn out and asked my partner for a year off. He agreed under one condition that I have a part-time job. I got the keep my resume up-to-date while working for less than 10 hours a week. All that money went straight to my pocket while being taken care of

[@kdiggs74]

Relationships are always going to be complex. I think that husbands and wives need to be in agreement. I know my wife wanted to stay at home and we have done that with 4 kids. 3 of our 4 kids are neurodivergent and have had multiple therapies a week. We're clearly not millionaires. Life isn't perfect, but I'm so happy with my family. I just think everyone needs to find what they want in a family.

[@breannajames3077]

Moral of the story… these lifestyles are for privileged people who actually HAVE the option of choosing. The rest of us do not.. for a multitude of reasons. Whatever life you choose to live or are able to live I should say.. that’s all you. Why do we all need to hear about it? Influencers, trends, so on and so forth. I miss the days where people would lead their lives quietly and we’d all do what we did by choice and not because we seen it on Instagram or TikTok. Whatever.. I will enjoy my college degree and my success because when you work hard to get somewhere then feel like crap about it because you saw a so called “better option” on the internet.. what does that say??? I used to think social media was informing but now I realize it just creates problems, stress, and anxiety.

[@maddiepeattie]

Just letting you know that the response you have from Harrison to the backlash was not something he said. That was made up and came from a satire sports page. I checked because it made me so angry haha 🙃

[@aricufl2214]

I’m the daughter of someone who chose to be a trad wife and the reason I didn’t become one is because she was the first person to point out the cons and fight for my and my sibling’s quality of education. Girls need to understand once you’re IN the trad lifestyle, you’re IN IT FOR LIFE and you’re signing up your kids too for whatever the consequences end up being (good or bad). That’s it.

[@earthlyn94]

These mindsets you present are so wild. People live with such a huge range of variety and it seems like many others get offended by it. Thanks for putting all of this together!

[@dantan1249]

With respect to trends there is an element of status. People “want “ this life because they think it makes them official and legitimate but when it’s off trend they will pivot.

[@swithheld9905]

omg some of these comments are...a lot. Just wanted you to have some more normal comments down here. nice commentary, shelby! you raised a lot of great points. i could never ever be a trad wife - in fact I would opt to work just so i could pay for a cleaner, nanny, and take out instead of having to do it myself. 😂 absolutely no patience for that nonsense. i really hope young women are not getting fooled by the pretty veneer being put out there.

[@ShelbyChurch]

hahah the comments are interesting for sure! and thank you!!

[@hulahickey6959]

My Grandmother was a trad wife in the 40's and 50"s and it was no picnic because as lower middle class there were always money concerns. My Grandmother did all kinds of things to raise extra money. At one point she was raising Canaries to sell. I think overall she was happy but I also know she would have died poor if something had ever happened to my grandfather.

[@BrianPetersen-l2w]

Excellent coverage of important life choices.

[@NadiaPink]

Our solution was for me to work part time, we don’t have children yet. I love working part time. It makes perfect sense for me. I make decent income and get to help with our finances.I get to leave the home and do a career I like but I also get to focus on our home life and my hobbies.

[@committedtodd]

keep leaning into the commentary! you articulate these topics really well.

[@ShelbyChurch]

thank you!!

[@nancyhou7359]

A woman can have multiple identities. She can be a trad wife but it doesn’t necessarily mean her life is only limited to that. She can also be a small business owner, an investor who makes passive income on the side, a social media creator, a realtor…when she doesn’t make the pizza dough… It all depends on how well she can manage her time. I’m not sure if I’m a trad wife but I do enjoy cooking for my family everyday (sometimes I make things out of scratch too) & taking of my baby, but at the same time I still bring a decent income to the family. My partner does participate in nursing the baby which helps a lot but still I think even with all the housework you still got time to do your own stuff, you just need to find the right formula for your life.

[@jamesweldon8118]

Women like traditional men, men like traditional women. What’s the problem

[@defiantlypinki1107]

Absolutely not for me. I’m 27 but I stopped dating months ago. Being a mother is a self sacrificial role in itself. My favorite part about making my own six figures income and being child free is that it gives me the freedom to put myself first. I’m not giving that up for the glamorized relationships with men and children, that can actually end really badly.

[@dontstalkmedeltoro8816]

I'm not a trad wife. But I was married for 20 years to an amazing man. He unfortunately got cancer and passed away. I would be in big trouble right now if I didn't have an education. I live an upper class lifestyle and have got the majority of the 20 years I was with him. Women need to have marketable skills. If you don't need them... great...but women need them.

[@lindawiedemann4647]

Great job on this topic! Not a Trad Wife and am way too independent for that lifestyle. No judgement, though, you nailed it…. Protect yourself.

[@Dankflamio]

I’m a guy, and while I’m too young to know exactly what it feels like, I really don’t want the pressure of being the sole provider for a family. I think both parents should work if they can and if we are going to be considered equal partners, that men should care for the kids and house just as much as the mom. I’m not a woman so I don’t know what that feels different by comparison, but I really like kids and would absolutely love to spend tons of time with them. I think both parents should work so that they can share the responsibility, but also share the joy of taking care of the family emotionally. Being the husband of a trad wife sounds very not ideal to me. But in the end, everyone can make their own choices. The only extremely important and objective truth is “pick your life partner VERY carefully and get a prenup”. 56% of marriages ending in divorce is no joke.

[@sydelstan3996]

I think it's unfair to put Nara Smith on the thumbnail because she isn't a trad wife. She works as a model and an influencer. Because she likes to cook for her family doesn't mean she is a trad wife. Also most of the time she doesn't even dress that traditionally, she actually wears a lot of revealing stuff

[@gerriross8995]

I I was a single working mom (26 years) and yes it is a hard life but it also has it's rewards of joy and love watching your children grow up. Now that the children are grown I prefer the Trad wives lifestyle. The real Trad wives not the influencers. The ones who love to have dinner prepared for there husband, laundry cleaned, shopping completed and yes the vacuuming. I would much more enjoy pleasing my husband than my boss. Now the financial aspect don't be dumb be involved in household economics things happen in life and we do need to be aware and prepared.

[@UlexiteTVStoneLexite]

Yeah but you know what's even better? Having your husband do some of these tasks and not leaving all of it to you and not treating you like a stay-at-home made. My husband cooks and cleans we both cook and clean. The best thing is having a partner that shares these tasks with you.

[@ellina9816]

Rather husband than the boss… that’s a cool short phrase.

[@YELLzeyLauren]

it's so much pressure on a man to assume he will be solely financially responsible for your family. husband and wives are EQUALS. figure out what roles make sense and you do you. ALSO, love that you are branching out on commentary content Shelby. Go for whatever makes you happy and your supporters will always support you!

[@alexandermuir8160]

🤣🤣🤣🤣 Loved his comeback. Shelby, you find some great material. Love your work. Just stay the way you are and do what you do. At least I will be happy. 💓My wife is a working mother and continues to work hard. We have been married 46 years in two weeks' time. Yes, we were 17 and 18 when married. She was a stay at home mum when the kids were young and bored shitless at the time. You can only watch so much Thomas the Tank Engine! When the kids went to school it was back to work and still working hard. They say behind every great man, there is a greater woman and that's the truth.

[@laurenroberts5668]

Just a heads up that quote from Harrison regarding women having more babies than thoughts isn’t real!

[@sangjeongkimcho293]

WOW THIS WAS SURPRISINGLY DELIVERED REALLY WELL!

[@GreyWind86]

You new here? Shelby has always been delivering quality content like this.

[@ShelbyChurch]

thank you!!!

[@emmahobart6278]

I’m a working mum. Currently on maternity leave as I had my 2nd child 4 months ago, being a trad wife is appealing but I think it would be very lonely, I’m glad I have a child in school, as I get to see other mums, who have become my best friends since my son started school. I think even if I was wealthy, and could be be a “ trad wife” I think I’d be very board, crippled with anxiety at constantly having to be perfect, and become so isolated due to the anxiety. Hats off to all the trad wives out there, and major hats off to all the working mums, doing a 9-5, and still going home to do everything else. Xx

[@Tampa-Anon]

The Nuclear Family is dead, and lifeless Roasties killed it.

[@Courtney-Alice-Gargani]

I don't think I can do this. I need to go to work. If you don't have job with no experience it'll be hard to survive on your own if your relationship doesn't workout.

[@Slanghomy]

As a man, I'm okay with the trad wife lifestyle as long as we agree that you have to have children to be a trad wife. How can you expect to not work or raise children, AND expect your husband to cover all of your expenses and even your luxuries (e.g. boutique fitness membership, girls trips, jewelry, designer bags, etc.)? Cooking and housekeeping do not amount to a full-time job. It's simply not a fair distribution of roles and responsibilities.

[@videopyc]

When you have a house mortgage, a car loan and two yougn kids to feed 3 times a day, a family needs two sources of incomes, if not more. This is why in "modern" countries, you have a yearlong paid maternity leave to allow working couples to have babies. The kicker should do community work and visit food banks. He would learn what life is all about.

[@johnpoldo8817]

Year long maternity leave is unacceptable in business. If that was law, I wouldn’t hire a female under 50. Or, just hire men.

[@videopyc]

@@johnpoldo8817 a yearlong paid maternity leave exist in Canada, in most European countries and all of scandinavean countries.... this funding is paid by all the workers and businesses, the universal unemployement program. Wake up... there is a lack of workers everywhere. Even dads have a short paid leave to help mothers. Where are you from: Venus or Neptune?

[@MainlineFlippers]

Everyone’s opinions are different. I got my degree right after hs and got married. I worked for about 10 years and started staying home when my kids were 2 & 5. Career, kids with work, and then SAHM when we were financially ready to do that. I think it’s dangerous to not have anything under your belt incase of an emergency happening with your spouse or an affair situation. Always think of what ifs and always have a backup plan.

[@cristinahunter468]

So I’m not against traditional or non traditional about a wife/mom going to work or staying home. Now I do not enjoy seeing the “trad wife” online. They put a nine realistic expectation of how our normal life should look. I stay home with my kids. I promise you , I don’t wake up look like that way. Half of the time I’m in comfy clothes. It is rewarding to me being my kids mom and being home with them for every milestone. Now that being said, oh how is hard at times. You do feel worn out because you are with them 24/7 but again it was a choice. Also having a good partner to be that.. your partner in life/parenting makes better. I do not want to be in the 50’s were the husband never helped just expected for the wife to do everything.

[@Nutritionbyanni]

This is just me but I will forever continue being full time working mom rather than to rely on a man to pay for everything for me. I just can‘t morally, I work hard and I value my independence so much. And like you mentioned in the video so many risks with that situation ending. Ideally in the near future of course finding a partner who I can meet eye to eye and us supporting each other. That‘s the goal 😍

[@sarahwise592]

I don't think anyone should speak on this subject until you have kids. I agree with Harrison.

[@alexandria65]

Ew

[@rockyshocks101]

As a working mom, I do wish I had more time with my kids, but I don't think I'd ever want to completely give up my career. I don't think either my husband or I would want all our eggs in one basket like that unless we were completely financially independent. My kids are my biggest blessing, and I don't regret the sacrifices I've made for them, so in that regard I get where SAHMs by choice are coming from.

[@alyzak.8997]

That's because of the economy. We just can't afford single income households like we could in the past. It was a lot easier to be a trad wife back then. Doesn't mean it wasn;t lovely to be a trad loving wife tho as long as you had a trad loving husband and not a lazy douche who didn't pick up the slack.

[@giselleless]

In my case, I am always scared of what I wish for… because of all the bad scenarios. I can understand both sides. I prefer a happy medium where I feel inspired to work and be a mother with flexibility to be with them

[@maxpower2511]

29 Looks 49 lol

[@grassseed3362]

That wall comes fast for Roasties

[@dannyv2230]

My sister has a very religious friend who is considering just being a trad wife for the rest of her life. She is thinking of marrying a guy that she has only dated for 4 months, everyone in her family has tried to talk her out of it but she refuses to listen. The people who are most supportive though are her other religious friends who make it seem like she is doing some really honorable thing. My sister and her have been friends since middle school and she is the only real friend she still has outside of her church community. My sister doesn't know what is the best way to deal with this situation because she wants to be honest but also not lose her.

[@alyzak.8997]

did it ever occur to you that perhaps this is the right thing for her? Not everyone is a fiercely independent strong woman. Why does our femininity have to be such a big problem? Also 4 months doesn't mean anything if you vet your partner correctly. Time doesn't matter. Would you rather have her be his forever girlfriend? I cannot stress enough on how cocky you sound. Some women like being girl bosses- great and others feel strength in traditional feminine roles with a loving awesome husband. What's the big deal? As long as the husband respects her and loves her, there will be no power imbalance in the relationship. Both of them will depend on eachother and pick up the slack. It's a beautiful yin and yang.

[@MainlineFlippers]

Most everything on social media is not real…. 😔 only the good part of these trad wife’s lives are shown. I want the real and raw life of a trad wife. Let’s start that trend!!

[@payad4778]

The amount of divorces in this day and age is so sad. Me and my husband have “traditional” gender roles, as he works and I raise our babies. We are a team until death do us part. It’s so sad to me reading comments about people who say “people fall out of love all the time” or “sooner or later he will leave or cheat”… to me and my husband., we decided to COMMIT based on our love for each other. And that Love only grows day by day. But back to being committed to each other… there’s no reason to assume that we will divorce. I trust him, he trusts me. That is what a healthy marriage based on aligned values looks like.

[@silencespeaksspeaks1686]

I want to go back to a life like the 1950s where one income bought a house supported four children and a wife and food was cooked and ready for me. When I got home. The kids were taken care of and college was paid for and I get to retire by 60 with a pension.

[@Michelangelo-m1o]

I love commentary videos!❤

[@DaniBraga-ew8wu]

Shelby I love this content from you. Keep it coming! This is a topic that I think about a lot lately and talk about with friends. So interesting to see where fellow female (and male!) friends fall on this thought spectrum. Thank you for presenting this in such a beautiful, eloquent, nuanced way. I see the amount of work that goes into this and seriously keep it coming. Love your thoughts.

[@elbow7991]

Well done, Shelby! Great topic to cover.

[@susanjeffries5108]

I've seen several videos about trad wives and this was my favorite. I really appreciated how Shelby didn't try to villanize either side. I have worked professionally, and I've also been a stay-at-home mom. There are challenges either way, as well as rewards. And most of us just don't really understand the dynamics of other families well enough to know exactly how things are working out. I also appreciate the distinction between a tradwife and a SAHM. It does feel like people promoting the tradwife life are doing it in a very performative way. Most stay at home moms are not filming themselves every time they make breakfast or lunch, and they're definitely not filming when the food burns or doesn't taste right. I think it is a very beautiful, aesthetic thing to watch things like Nara's channel, but we have to be really careful about glamorizing or romanticizing those kinds of videos too much, because it's a performance and not every single thing about that life is being shared. I definitely dislike the influencers who try to demonize people who don't support the trad wife life. Those videos give me the ick. I do not want to be subservient and submissive to my husband. It reminds me of a book called Fascinating Womanhood. Someone gave it to me as a joke when I got married and I still have it because it is so appalling and it gives a lot of food for thought. It's like a psychological cautionary tale. Seriously the stuff in there is really crazy. Very Stepford Wives dystopian weird stuff but a lot of people believe it!

[@c4arla]

My opinion is that it takes humbleness to be a housewife but for me I believe its ok to do whatever works for the time being and bad partners will be bad no matter what

[@UlexiteTVStoneLexite]

He wants to go back to a time in the 50s and the 60s when women didn't have rights. They were not allowed to have bank accounts that were not allowed to have credit cards. A woman was not able to be financially independent. She had to be attached to her family or she had to be attached to my husband. Women could not be independent and he wants to go back to a time when women could not be independent. Forced marital intimacy was also still allowed during this time. It wasn't illegal until 1993. He wants to go back to a time when women did not have rights. The civil Rights movement had not occurred in the fifties. Women did not have their rights in the fifties. Just because they could vote didn't mean anything. They still could not be financially independent. Let that sink in everybody he wants to go back to a time when women were not allowed to be independent. He wants to go back to a time where they could be discriminated against and employers could discriminate against them.

[@User84030]

Yep it’s basically a political message that he doesn’t believe in feminism - but just repackaged as ‘you’d be happier as a trad wife’

[@whereismycrewyo]

That's stretching to be honest. I think it's more about women being more feminine aka more attractive in those eras. Today's masculine boss women are as unattractive as a wimpy feminine men. Would you f*** a wimpy feminine guy? Nope, I don't think so

[@AUMINER1]

none of what you claim happened, actually happened. you were not a child or a parent in the 50's or 60's.....i'm betting you are in your 20's and went to a rad left school for your indoctrination of wokism.

[@maddiepeattie]

He didn’t actually say that. The image and quote came from a satire sports page. Not saying I agree with his original speech but we need to be careful here. It was a made up quote.

[@UlexiteTVStoneLexite]

@@maddiepeattie except for he is saying that. He wants women to go back to those times when they were housewives. He said the most important thing that women can do is be a homemaker. Even if he didn't say that specific line everything else is still saying the same thing.

[@justinziyobliterator7656]

You forget that there are also other ideas being pushed on society that try to convince women to focus solely on their jobs and that they will only be fulfilled when they have a successful career

[@calburgin7078]

I believe that community property states (only 9 states) do level the assets division playing field a bit, but individual results may vary. Even in a community property state, anyone that has personal assets before getting married, or can anticipate they or their spouse to be could inherit significant assets during their marriage would be wise to look at a pre-nup. Great commentary video Shelby.

[@ThrivingwithTeodora]

Trad wives could be in charge of the money husband brings and power dynamics is on 😅

[@andrearamirez-iq1qf]

I recently watched a movie with Scarlett Johansson called The Nanny….. this movie shows exactly how trad wives’ lives actually are…… and that speech from that guy is only convenient to men. Look around, is not like they work harder, yet they make more money only because they are men. It is absurd that Women want to be a trad wife after all sacrifices previous generations of women made for us to have a say, be successful and choose ourselves over others these days. A woman who stays home to take care of their kids and wants to be a great wife is amazing and I would consider those women trad wives. They want the best for their kids and enjoy time with them but they don’t forget about themselves, and will return to their careers at some point.

[@shawndsinclair3067]

It is all about what you want and how you want to live it. It's a personal decision.

[@aliceg1622]

I think in Harrison Butlers defense (and you mentioned it) he was speaking in a private school it is a Catholic Church and traditionally that church promotes those values. So like he knew his crowd. On the point of “moms with head aches cuz of boredom” let’s also remember that studies had no women in them before like just a decade or two ago and so a man doctor would probably diagnose and attribute a headache to something trivial cuz “shes a woman”. Valium is also addictive so if they gave it to her once she’ll now need it to just function normally. Rubber band effect from girl boss era is so on point!😂 If seen so many of those reel and tik toks. On the topic of working moms/ stay at home/ divorce stuff, it trickles down into the fatherlessness crisis. You should look into that. It’s a vicious circle. Look at the stats. Seems like a jump but a little bit of research you’ll see the connection. Plus wanna be a trad wife? Get a prenup! I think that’s a pretty simple solution. Love these SHELBY!! ❤

[@valerieniemela6822]

You changed my mind with this video. I saw it a week ago and didn't want to watch it because of my perceptions of trad wives. Your separating them from stay at home moms made me recognize the problems with trad wives. I appreciate the points you made!

[@carynmcentee6725]

Only child here with both parents gone a few months after I turned 30. I spent my 20s with 2 sick parents and after they were gone, my safety nets were gone. I had no choice but to be a working mom. I'm in my early 50s now and wish I had the money to retire now cause I am exhausted by just life in general. I think people fail to remember that life happens while we are busy making plans and don't plan for life and part of that is not thinking about saving for the future. It's not easy to get in the workforce and it is even harder when you leave it and then try to get back into it. This country is truly not built as being "family friendly" as other countries are and that is part of the problem.

[@Tiani99]

I totally agree that it’s dangerous to promote a lifestyle where the woman is totally financially dependent upon her husband. Being left with no options can be so devastating. I’m somewhere between a working mom and a SAHM. I’m a real estate agent and I own my own agency, so I’m able to work from home, take my daughter with me when I go to work, and make my own schedule. I could not imagine having to work 9-5 while trying to do all of my mom duties. Being a mom is a full time job. I would love to see society shift to a more parent-friendly attitude toward work. Whether that be more remote work, shorter work days, cheaper daycare, or better programs for moms who do stay home full time. While being financially dependent upon your spouse is a very vulnerable position to be in, so many families are forced into it because of the cost of childcare and the demands of parenthood.