The Psychology of Kink ft. Pat

[@sashaa.3912]

i’m a queer, poly they/she aspiring sex therapist and i’m SO here for these conversations!! love love love 🫶🏻❤️

[@QueerCollective]

Hell yeah!! thanks so much for listening

[@aprilk141]

Y'all had great chemistry with that amish fella!

[@kelsieolsen4702]

😂

[@QueerCollective]

I laughed out loud 😂

[@aprilk141]

@@QueerCollective thank you very much. I'm a complete mess a lot of the time but my approach to humor is ADHD and Autistic and scientific. Loved your video so much, new sub. Some of my humor education comes from big salvia Erik.

[@OyayoTheStorm]

I spat out my cereal! I Adore Divergent-centered humor

[@amehayami934]

Coming from a sub point of view my own. Let's just say I had a really hard life and because of that I always had to be in control. I always had to take care of myself, I always had to protect myself, and always had to do things myself, and there wasn't anyone to be there for me. I'm a sub because I don't want control, I want to feel and be told A good Dom/Dommy can make me feel safe something I don't feel much of. I feel protected something I don't feel much of. Soil I give up that control to someone I trust and care about I am free 😊.

[@QueerCollective]

I love this perspective, and happy you can find someone you trust and care about that can provide that for you 💕

[@JellyOnAPancakeAyyyy]

Saaame

[@ro-hoe3117]

28:53 sub and topping aren't the opposite of each other, I think they meant to say domming, topping and bottoming is a physical thing, subbing and domming is psychological, someone who's both a dom and sub is a switch, someone who's a top and bottom is a versatile (vers)

[@QueerCollective]

Thank you 😊

[@missrebeccabee]

Carmen is serving in that jumpsuit 🤌

[@her-menadrag464]

It’s Karbon jsyk! 💕

[@ashtoncorson4425]

you two asked wonderful questions and shared such relatable ideas and experiences, and pat shared so eloquently their research and thoughts about kink. this was both super accessible for folks newer to kink but also had a bunch of crunchy goodness for those of us who already spend a lot of time thinking and reading and talking about kink! amazing work as always!

[@QueerCollective]

Thank you so much, we’re so glad this episode could help inform 💕🙏🏼

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

Hell yeah, this is awesome! Thank you!

[@QueerCollective]

@@Trash-Garbage-Trash thanks for listening

[@_gabrielle_w]

This channel is so slept on !!! Like I love yall

[@QueerCollective]

we love you!!!

[@marielaarguedas9125]

So much love for these conversations!🫶🏼

[@QueerCollective]

We're so glad to hear it! thanks for listening

[@raescream5144]

Existential kink is a excellent read about dealing with past trauma . And help me alot ! . You guys are awesome ❤

[@QueerCollective]

Thank you for the recommendation! 💕

[@ro-hoe3117]

16:42 caregivers and littles are an AGE REGRESSION thing not age play, the kink community is twisting something that is strictly SFW by using the terms, they can have ANY other word for little but not little, it creates so much confusion and puts ageregressers in dangerous situations because of it

[@Nuhcole]

Loved this episode so much, thank you for this and thanks for all the subjects you went over!

[@QueerCollective]

Glad you enjoyed it! 💕

[@JDBaah]

loooove hearing from Pat! thank you so much ❤

[@QueerCollective]

We're so glad! we love chatting with them

[@EleaRingenwald]

I would really appreciate it, if you could include all the links of pat in the description. 🙏🏻❤️ I speak English as a second language, and then are especially links or book recommendations or similar things really hard for me to catch and understand. 😉

[@siiiriously3226]

i second that! also not a native speaker and it sometimes is really tough finding the reicht spelling.

[@siiiriously3226]

intellectual erection is the podcast

[@ProudTeddy37]

Yaz and Pat, take me home with you guys!! I can be a very good boy or very naughty.... Jk lol. These 3 episodes have given me so much hope in society and made me feel less weirdo, or at least I know now I'm not the only one out there. Sending love your way from Brazil.

[@ava.joan93]

The ethics referred to around 5 minutes in specifically harken back to the ethical standard of the Kantian Universal Imperative, wherein people must not be used "merely" as a means to an end.

[@QueerCollective]

Thank you for sharing

[@ava.joan93]

@@QueerCollective thanks for these videos!

[@lalalovinlifelala]

I love this sm

[@QueerCollective]

we love you!!

[@PkmnLovr1]

I’m actually really surprised that they didn’t really go over the psychology of using words such as “daddy, mommy, any other familial label like ‘bro’ etc” and Freud’s idea that we innately want to have sex with our parents. The idea of incest is not something that I want in my sexual fantasies. However, there is SO much sexual play around the idea of calling sexual partners “daddy” or “mommy”. I had hoped that he would talk about the daddy/mommy wordplay kinks and what that means in relation to psychology

[@QueerCollective]

Perhaps that’s a topic of discussion for the next time we discuss kink. Thanks for the feedback 💕

[@ktosado8097]

Love this!

[@QueerCollective]

💕🙏🏼

[@spikemycorona]

I always lose interest in a speaker the second they cite Freud as a reputable source of knowledge.

[@siiiriously3226]

i agree. fuck Freud. and I say that as someone living in Austria. 😅

[@AlexxWoodwick]

Why when the Guy said it’s not possible to share a stream on consciousness apparently broke my own day dreaming/fantasy of that’s all I ever want out of life. Made me quite sad. And also I just still believe it’s possible. So am I in denial? And unable to face the facts? Or is it something within that I don’t like about my self? This is where I get so confused

[@Yourpulltoy]

The traumas that occur in childhood are not the same as any adult trauma. Kink cannot be understood generally, it must be tied to each individual's childhood. Moreover, every defense serves repression, and they exist to bind anxiety associated with profound emotional pain. No kink is in any way an expression of healthy mature intimacy or love.

[@orangeclippings]

wow! the hat-man knows so much

[@kaeya8674]

Love it

[@Cathinata1]

very interesting

[@QueerCollective]

So glad you enjoyed!

[@katelynhanson]

Heck yeah

[@QueerCollective]

🥰🥰🥰🥰

[@creative_mindsrus1541]

What do youmean by overcoming consent? That's sounds very creepy as if saying "going with it"

[@QueerCollective]

Can you provide a time stamp? We're not sure what you're referring to

[@Mystic_The_Wolf]

Why are your mics so sensitive? It's sensitive like an asmr mic 😅

[@UnknownPreacher2]

Can i post an add here for a sub fem

[@AtiLin]

Literature has a lot of information that you can take from: Masoch, Venus in furs, Marguerite Duras, Bataille

[@jeffhappens1]

Does Pat have a social?

[@QueerCollective]

They do! It’s @alldeathhasdreams

[@ro-hoe3117]

20:16 some kinks are genetic so the likelihood of the next generation being vanilla is lower than you think

[@QueerCollective]

Very interesting!

[@amehayami934]

Nope. I have a lot of knowledge about kink and BDSM. I consider myself to be part of the community. I have done very kinky thing's. However I never had any D/S relationship before. Basically if there was a BDSM library I would be the Librarian. Not because I want to stay that way but it is very hard to find people that's into BDSM where I'm from. And no don't say Fetlife because trust me I looked there is nothing for Hawaii. And my need has never gone away, Infact it has gotten worse. Which say a lot me being a pansexual girl.

[@QueerCollective]

Hmm interesting! Have you ever tried slowly guiding partners into the kink world?

[@Victori.A1]

So when are you going to speak up about the insane level of lesbophobia in the bi community!?

[@QueerCollective]

Unsure how to quantify it but it does go both ways. Would love to know more about it if that's something you've experienced, as it isn't something I've personally experienced or something any lesbian I know has experienced. Usually the running joke is that bisexuals love lesbians

[@Victori.A1]

@@QueerCollective that joke is a lie. I know PLENTY of lesbians who have experienced it.

[@Victori.A1]

@@QueerCollective I'd gladly give you all the sources and info you need on lesbophobia in the bi community. I could email you

[@QueerCollective]

Sure please feel free to email us I’d love to take a look!

[@Victori.A1]

@@QueerCollective what's your email address?

[@AlexxWoodwick]

Why when the Guy said it’s not possible to share a stream on consciousness apparently broke my own day dreaming/fantasy of that’s all I ever want out of life. Made me quite sad. And also I just still believe it’s possible. So am I in denial? And unable to face the facts? Or is it something within that I don’t like about my self? This is where I get so confused

[@QueerCollective]

We can’t say for sure, but if you do figure it out please let us know!