"The REAL Reasons Why Being NICE LEADS TO REJECTION" | Marisa Peer

Are you always trying to please people? To be "good" all the time?
We need to learn to have healthy boundaries and know when it is not only okay but necessary to say "no" and put our own needs first.
Watch the video to find out more, and click the link here to access my '21-Day Confidence Challenge': bit.ly/Confiden...
Please note that during this video Marisa mistakenly refers to the product 'Tangle Teaser' as "Tangle Tweezer."
● Subscribe to my channel for more life-changing videos: bit.ly/marisape...
Marisa Peer is the author of 'I Am Enough' and creator of Rapid Transformational Therapy®️(RTT). Marisa Peer is an English best-selling author, nutritionist, relationship therapist, hypnotherapist trainer, and motivational speaker. She is using hypnosis for anxiety, weight loss, addiction, and overcoming fear.
She has spent over 30 years working with people including royalty, rock stars, actors, professional and Olympic athletes, CEOs and media personalities and has developed her own style that is frequently referred to as "life-changing."
If you would like to train to become an RTT®️ therapist, click the link - bit.ly/Train-in...
● Marisa Peer Playlists:
➢ Love and Sex: bit.ly/MP-YTLo...
➢ Be Confident and Believe ‘I Am Enough’: bit.ly/MP-YTco...
➢ Health and Weight Loss: bit.ly/MP-YThe...
➢ Money and Success: bit.ly/MP-YTMo...
● Step into your best life by taking Marisa’s FREE Mini-Series:
➢ Self Esteem Mini-Series: bit.ly/SelfEst...
➢ Healthy Relationships Mini-Series: bit.ly/relatio...
#marisapeer

[@devilynorseske5004]

When I started setting boundaries with friends and family. All of a sudden I was labeled a difficult person because they couldnt take advantage of me. I felt better about myself when I said no.

[@MolloyPolloy]

Eaten bread is soon forgotten.

[@MarisaPeer]

💛

[@newmercies1]

I remember a chinese colleague of mine who was extremely manipulative and mean although always with a smile, she will ask for favours and work to be done by others yet when I tested her to take some work back she would not accept to do so. On top of it she was a bully and once shout out: Ohh you are so difficult to work with. My answer was: Of course I am with a smile. And that was there...if this happens to you remember you are a child of God too, that does not mean you should take everybody's shit just because you are a faithful and good person at the bottom. Yes Jesus said love your enemy but he did not say "be naive". Some people you just have to "love" from a distance, pray for them but keep your distance and save yourself the toxicity. It doesn't even matter if they will notice your changed behaviour while they are busy chasing their selfish goals, you've got to do it for yourself, your inner self will congratulate you for doing it. Stand up for yourself no matter what the cost, it is worth it. That being said, be wise about it, choose your battles wisely and with people that it makes a difference. Ignore the rest and walk away.

[@waitwhat6882]

Yes, same here. They were all angry but that’s because we changed the paradigm and family dynamics and said no to them taking advantage of us. They hate that we have empowered ourselves.

[@AwakenThyself]

100 % AGREE. Family can be the worst...very cruel.

[@navinebaskerville2350]

Thanks for this advice! My niceness has left me poor, depressed, lonely, and sick! I am 73 and finally ready to say YES to myself! We can't love others until we love ourselves.

[@MarisaPeer]

Loving yourself is so important. Sending you love and support. 💖 Marisa Peer Team

[@daniellauntaru5614]

🤗❤

[@margotsteele2855]

I am the same as you and just a year younger too. We must be strong and love ourselves. It is never too late. X

[@laurenvega-cruz4718]

Nothing works for me. I'm in a wheelchair and caregivers steady take advantage. If I set boundaries the company says I'm being abusive. The company doesn't know that the caregivers are getting paid for nothing while I suffer. If my cats didn't need me I'd kill myself.

[@alishaanimations3058]

@@laurenvega-cruz4718 maybe marisa’s videos will help you :(

[@user-lk1qx7gb5o]

There's a huge difference between being nice and being a door mat.

[@mjmcneilrobinson5551]

Maybe but not by much

[@DRUMJUNKIE]

being kind instead of being nice...makes a big difference for me.

[@thomas.thomas]

@@mjmcneilrobinson5551 yes there is a big difference, just because you are nice doesn't mean you can't also hold people accountable

[@xeray6032]

That has to be understood on both sides of the interaction, sadly many people are not equipped to understand one is nice and not a doormat. I have often seen very surprised looks on other people's faces when they finally 'get' the message.

[@indraramrattan6552]

People love people Who is door mat

[@BeyondTheLiteral]

"People who are EVOLVED can speak the TRUTH." So many quotes in this video! "Want to be nice? Be nicer to yourself."

[@humbleweare]

yes these quotes are Beyond the Literal! Be well!

[@la124]

Don't be nice, I have been disrespected by so many people in my life as a result of my boring niceness.

[@yvasquez2449]

people can confuse niceness with stupidity or passivity, we can get confused ourselves sometimes ....I mean sometimes we think we are just been nice but in fact we were afraid to stand up for ourselves or to rock the boat and people can smell that in the air.

[@kathyinwonderlandl.a.8934]

Same

[@milliem8051]

Same here... I will be nice but I’m not going to let people walk all over me.

[@yvasquez2449]

@@milliem8051 you don’t suppose to...

[@milliem8051]

@@yvasquez2449 I can be nice/friendly but not to my detriment. I try to recognize red flags when someone’s trying to take advantage and my niceness stops. Works for me.

[@howoriginal1986]

I grew up with very strict parents and I was bullied all up till high school. Everyone I've dated has taken advantage of me and complained that I'm too nice. It's difficult to say no and stand my ground, but I'm committed to it! I want to put myself first for once.

[@lydiawilkss]

it’s completely worth it. You are completely worth it! The people around you can’t see how good you are, LET them miss out!! Wishing you the best ✨

[@AW2011S]

The hardest thing to do when you have always done what everyone else wanted you to do, is to think about what YOU want; what you like doing, what your goals are etc. I would start first, writing down what I want and what my ideal life would look like and I would then focus on making that a reality. When you make your happiness a priority, it will be easier to say no.

[@yvasquez2449]

Growing up with difficult parents and difficult friends can really silence our own voice. To avoid conflict, to avoid arguments, confrontation and even to get some love back we learn to say yes all the time...we become a people’s pleaser. Even when that behaviour is no longer necessary, we carry on with this pattern. The first thing is to become aware of it and I think you have, so well done you...you are in the road to recovery. Remember, it is not a straight line and is not a one way road, some days you will find yourself doing it again. Don’t beat yourself up for it, think you are learning.

[@lexiemaep7930]

Boundaries are attractive. People don't marry nice people. They marry people with strong boundaries, unless they are a narcissist. Narcissists love people pleasers. Have strong boundaries, it is more attractive.

[@larissagonzales6075]

I find the opposite true. People with boundaries are less likely to settle for BS.

[@Pimp-Master]

True ‘dat...

[@unlockingwealthwithin]

This is FACTS!!

[@JohnDoe-jn4ex]

Just the tip?

[@elizabethdevries8028]

Thank you!

[@toscadonna]

As soon as I had enough and stopped accepting any bullshit, that’s when the dates dried up. Shows you just how predatory the dating world is.

[@alysiahite12]

Me too. I don't do on line dates anymore. Most are liers and cheaters. 🙄

[@norm1815]

@@alysiahite12 Men and women both

[@Pimp-Master]

Dating is very looks oriented and way surface only.

[@sdla690]

Only go out with ppl who make you comfortable to be yourself, don't give exception, not worth it.

[@VeledaG]

Very true. But there are nice men out there but these are rare.

[@irresistiblep0]

Saying No i found is one of the most difficult things yet one of the most important ones to learn. I wish someone thought me this years ago. When you know plp are manipulating you but you still feel guilty saying NO, you really need professional help!

[@pantherman8719]

Usually that happens early in life like when getting bullied or doing things for family members even when it's wrong.

[@MaryJohnson777]

All people and especially kids need this kind of self-respect training on thought process.

[@afenton32]

I'm definitely guilty of being too nice. Although I am getting better at being myself and standing up for my rights. I still have a long way to go. Thank you so much for the great advice!!

[@MarisaPeer]

You’re welcome ❤️

[@C2yourself]

Being polite, well mannered, compassionate and helpful comes naturally for most people. I had to learn to say no and set boundaries. It feels much better

[@melissaszarka5718]

Your feelings are the most real thing you have. Great reminder.

[@cassiemarie859]

I told someone no, at work for putting in the pot for someones birthday because I don't know the person and I can't even eat the cake because I have celiacs and they looked at me crazy. lol Uh, no one at that job cared about me anyway and I'm expected to offer up money for people who don't even know who I am? No, Being nice is no longer it for me,

[@ladymercury7042]

YAAASSSSS!! 👏 I am proud of ya! 💜

[@christinebeames2311]

Yes I was asked to put on for birthdays leaving etc , but my 70 got ignored , it made it easy to refuse from then o.

[@Simonesanderss]

I’ve been thought this a lot lately. I am a very reserved person, and it’s difficult for me to establish friendships. Also because I have some trust issues. But lately I really tried to expose myself more. And it’s being so disappointing. It’s like the more I try to be nice, the less I receive. I don’t know what to do, because it hurts me 😞 I never get the reactions I wanted. I’m just ignored. And that makes me want to close again. The problem is that I give something in the expectation of receiving the same return. In the other day I said in a group conversation: Good morning, I wish you have a good day 🥰. And no one even said anything back. They just ignored me 🥺😭 It’s been a struggle. I need them to accept me, and at the same time, I get hurt and somewhat resentful for their reactions towards me...

[@MarisaPeer]

Learn to love yourself. Those who love themselves naturally attract the right people to love and be with them too. Can we recommend attending Marisa's free "I am enough" webinar if you haven't already. You can find out more about it here - bit.ly/I-am-enough-masterclass-Fb. We hope this helps. 💖 Marisa Peer Team

[@sharonwanjiru9959]

💝..You won the race to life the day you were conceived.. You deserve to be here!..you matter!!.Now believe that!

[@thembisaodendaal]

It's amazing you've just laid out the problem and the solution..just read again what you said and you will figure out what not to do

[@harrylutz7321]

A very wise women once told me that when you are rejected/abused by people,it’s not that person it’s their demons who do these things.😣👺👹

[@annsherman1925]

Sandra Glidden! Very wise Woman. You all, follow her advise💗, You Filipa Concalves! Your strength is in Him who is Love. Just continue and stand in the light of kindness. You will attract what is good with goodness. The others will fall by the wayside.

[@CtrlOptDel]

Only recently I've realised how true this is. I have never deliberately been a needy people pleaser; however, I have the issue of a hyper-sensitive - quite likely narcissistic - mother, and subsequently had gotten into relationships with women with similar dispositions. The problem is that I cannot ever openly feel negative emotions around my mother (& couldn't around said girlfriends either) without her taking them personally; if I'm ever angry, she accuses me of being angry at her, if I am frustrated, she feels persecuted & assumes I'm blaming her, no matter how obvious it may be that the problem is with someone else. When she makes me legitimately angry at her by her behaviour, she then takes that anger as proof of her initial paranoia. Consequently, I have developed a tendency to hide any negativity, no matter how minor, and that makes me come across to others as fake & insincere, and like any positivity is merely a front; it's a bit like trying to "restore" a painting by simply cutting-out the damaged parts, even if someone who views it doesn't know what's missing, they can see the holes and that the image is damaged & incomplete. As I wasn't doing it deliberately, I was genuinely confused for an embarrassingly long time as to why everyone around me (except for long-standing friends I am naturally more relaxed around) seemed to be so uncomfortable in my presence, but I see now how I would come across to others; as I said, fake & insincere, despite that sincerely not being my intent in any way.

[@gingerakalala]

Sometimes you gotta love harder. Love is our identity. Love can stand alone. Bless you

[@svilenaninetta9838]

I am 45 now ..but as far as i can remember i always knew what i want and what i dont want in terms of dealing with others. I was shockingly good in about to say No.And that is amazing ..i keep that to these days. I dont say i cant be weak and emotional ..i just know to say No. Or yes when i feel like that.

[@alysiahite12]

My inner peace is most important. Be nice to yourself. Honor yourself. Like yourself. Believe in yourself. Practice saying No. Love it. 😍💪🙏🦋

[@rawknvegan1990]

Omg that resonates with me. I have done this all my life and did not realize it until I got in a narcissist relationship last year that rocked my world. But now my eyes are soooooo open and I'm doing the work back to boundaries not being crossed and saying no. Chicago love

[@MarisaPeer]

That's wonderful ❤️

[@CrisPisces]

I needed this 20 yrs ago, but I appreciate the advice, and will take my power back!! It comes from childhood rejection!!!❤

[@laurennicolemb702]

Until you can say No, Yes has no meaning. 💯💯💯 I have GOT to work on this!

[@MarisaPeer]

💖 Marisa Peer Team

[@deniseleondis499]

Yes! People will project what’s on the inside.. it’s not about you it’s how they feel about themselves

[@milliem8051]

I love that, “thanks for sharing” I’m going to remember that

[@fgdart]

I think there should be a balance for this. Because of what i observe and experience, (i think it is about the new century) European and Usa people are more self centered, distant and individualist. And it goes there for the other societies too. Sometimes people put even their chores to first step and isolate themselves and their own life, instead of creating real interactions or bonds with other people with making time or favor to them. And it makes people lonely and creates a new individualist social structure. Loneliness in every way is a new problem of the current societies even for the love life and family relationships. When we look deep into nature, we will understand better, "seeking validation and acceptance" is a kind of glue for the creatures who live in their own society. This is a deep subject for social science and philosophy. So long story short, as social creatures we should keep the balance for every thing, for even saying No and Yes. It is better living our lifes with empathy and being aware of one day we can need the other people and need a favor from others too..

[@larissagonzales6075]

Totally agree, in bigger cities, people are rude and should learn some kindness and to think of others. We should as a society be kind to each other. There is nothing wrong with being good. Boundaries are important but as you say empathy is important as well.

[@P0rtugueseRedM00n]

You are very right. Learn to say no, learn to draw boundaries and to remove yourself when necessary

[@cosmicconnection6719]

I will have this on REPEAT for the entire day. I love it ❤️

[@MarisaPeer]

💖 Marisa Peer Team

[@pebblesandstar]

@@MarisaPeer I just discovered you, I love your videos, In the future do you have any topics on living together but being alone. Or emotional unavailable in a relationship. Or the silent treatment?

[@MarisaPeer]

Hi, thank you so much for your suggestion. I will make sure that I pass these on to Marisa and the team 🌸 Marisa Peer Team

[@annasimon7077]

Great video! Thanks, Marisa. Can you please make a video on women failing to succeed as if it were a societal and family taboo for us to do as good or better than men and success were reserved to men only? I come from a Southern European background with a bully, narcissistic, macho father and have just realized that I had a subconscious belief that I shouldn't succeed not to make him turn into a fury that could cause my death (he almost killed me once). Several years ago I started succeeding big and making much bigger money than he ever did and I shared my success with him. At the time I was also married to a narcissistic man who was competitive with me (happy I divorced him!) Since then, though, I have failed miserably with work and money, and I am now in deep debt. I now see how openly sharing my success with my father triggered my unconscious fear that he would be enraged and could kill me and the constant fury of my ex-husband only reinforced my deep seated fear. So, unwittingly, I did everything to sabotage my success to this extent. How do I convince my mind that succeeding is safe for me now? Thanks!

[@erinhappy-go-lucky5040]

Thank you Marissa 🥰! This is just what I needed!

[@MarisaPeer]

💚

[@Hannah-jk3dk]

People will always want to diminish you. They will say you are a bad team member, you guys are not organised etc. Its true they say your feelings dont matter. Like some1 will say you want your own ways yet they never get your opinion. I will say "thank you 4 sharing". Thank you 4 sharing

[@len1045678]

From time she open her mouth i knew she was hilarious by the way she speaks, her sarcastic body language, and her confidence. This lady is life she actually made my night

[@queralescyrus6323]

You hold the key to your happiness an that the gold

[@Quietriot1970]

As always on point! 😊Simple to understand, relaxed and not rushed, this is important Bravo! ❤💙💛💜💗

[@MarisaPeer]

Thank you 💖 Marisa Peer Team

[@frankfrombrazil]

Hello, Marisa! I had suffered my entire life of this kind of feeling. My thoughts started changing since I've begun watching your wellness videos. Thank you very, very much!

[@vanessap2814]

Thank you for this. This is true in me, I reserve connection in saving from rejection. :(

[@gloriacoleman7012]

This is really good there are so many people who think they are entitled to your time your money your efforts even your food and clothes.

[@nicolaaro9752]

Love this woman ! So grateful she does these videos 😊🙌 thank you Marisa peer

[@MarisaPeer]

You’re welcome ❤️

[@samanthabarron8481]

This is definitely an introverted perspective lol but I do respect it. As an extrovert prone to depression when isolated, I definitely think I could die from rejection. For some people, human interaction is not just a desire, it’s a natural human need.

[@marjoleinvanderperkmusic6601]

You are probably stronger and more independent than you think, in relation to being isolated by rejection. True love gives more and better quality energy for body and mind. :)

[@THOMASCOLTON1]

This is great advice, the power of NO!

[@bizzylizzy5075]

This is fantastic! I protect myself first , it took a while but now I’m free !

[@MarisaPeer]

Better late then never. 💖 Marisa Peer Team

[@Petapan33]

Wow! Until you say no, yes means nothing. Mind blowing 😃

[@roxasineflowers2510]

Absolutely 💯 lesson learned from one of my big mistakes, im honestly generous good caring woman always nice giving.

[@incompetent_echo]

I'm unreasonably nice and it's like everytime I try to be assertive or anything else, I feel guilty. What is wrong with me😭😭

[@avicennitegh1377]

You can assert No without adding anything else, but I like the more humane way of asserting it further, with the tone of voice, a closed statement. I had to learn, everyone does.

[@pantherman8719]

Be assertive. Don't be too nice. People absolutely hate it. And they will abuse it.

[@vanallenk5651]

I’m happy I came across this✨✨

[@beatereich5466]

Be nice......and you will not have problems.....be nice and people will love you......nicenicenice.......this is all a point of view we bought into. From parents.....teachers.......etc. All the points of view that I did create or bought from others ....in bisher lifetime or another liftime...that I habe to be nice..so others will accept and love me and support me.........RELEASE IT.😉😃

[@laurenvega-cruz4718]

My situation has escalated to a critical point. I am threatened with a nursing home.

[@BlessyGeorge-1]

That 'marvellous' was gold❤

[@tracyburton3458]

Thank you. I needed to hear this right now. For several months now, I've been telling the editor of a magazine I contribute to that I'm no longer willing to 'cast my eyes over' the 70+ pages of articles before the magazine goes to design (for a 15-euro payment). Some months the articles are so badly written it takes me nearly two days to edit and rewrite them (especially the ones that are translated with Google). I thought I'd got her to understand I wasn't willing to donate so much of my time to the magazine a while back but the very next month she begged me to help out again ... and I ended up doing it! This month I've managed to resist but she makes me feel so guilty. Friday evening's email to me started with the words 'I'm under so much pressure ... ' I repeated my earlier 'no'; however, I have felt guilty and angry in equal measure since. I'm delighted to have stumbled upon your wise words Marisa. Thank you!

[@MarisaPeer]

Good for you Tracy! Do not dwell on the guilt; you are not being unreasonable. And we are so happy that you found us. Welcome to the family. 💖 Marisa Peer Team

[@tracyburton3458]

@@MarisaPeer Thank you so much. I'll be following you regularly from now on.

[@jessicamoo9120]

People like you because you're real! I like this statement. :-)

[@carmieintegrativenutrition9591]

In all honesty instead of teaching people to be super nice and accept being nice and the acceptance altogether of nice people! If somebody is not nice to me I don't want to know them! Peace is important and if you need to build a throne of hate you shouldn't be here and trying to be a psychiatrist

[@madelynnazario8361]

You are so wise. Your knowledge is so enriching. I'm glad to had found your channel. I'm a new subscriber now.

[@MarisaPeer]

We are so glad to have you here with us! 💖 Marisa Peer Team

[@tracycarolnyonga6201]

Thats why you have to fall in love with yourself ,before you can share!! My cup have to be full enough so i can overflowwwww !!!Me fist before anyone else!!!

[@bh8329]

I used to feel sorry for certain panhandlers who came up to me with their sob stories. Then I learned to say "Sorry I carry no cash" while shrugging my shoulders. Immediately they turn away to move on to their next victim.

[@xoxoxoxoxojetaime3148]

My mother is not easily pleased you can give her a million dollar and the next day she will be bad mouthing you talking about " she does not help me". That unconditional love your hear about from parents to their children doesn't exist with her. You have to give her half your salary to receive her love and when you stop she makes sure the whole family knows how horrible you are. I'm done trying to please people and that includes family.

[@thembisaodendaal]

Nothing you do or don't do is ever going to be enough for such people.they are plain selfish just remove yourself from the situation

[@galiyatg839]

I did a great job for myself today. I stopped that pattern and said "I don't want to be nice pleaser anymore and I can stand what comes after that. Irritation, anger, curse and etc. I chose me. That's it.".

[@MarisaPeer]

That is brilliant news, well done! 💖 Marisa Peer Team

[@addazzin]

Sometimes someone hide very well who they really are. We know them better until we live with them. Or after we merry them. And than.. show who they really are. : /

[@hgfw9295]

My mom taught me these things a bit. Once I was writing an official request letter to the Dean of University I work for. In the end I put "thank you in advance" and my mom said: no no. You do not thank before you receive what you ask for. Just end with "sincerely" and that's it. They do not deserve your praise yet they dine nothing extra for you yet Lol So true

[@melodyleiber8562]

The nicer you are,the more you get shit on!!!!!!

[@luciapompeiano3220]

So amazing, thank you so much for such great ideas 👍😉

[@MarisaPeer]

Thank you for your lovely comment ❤️

[@lnc-to4ku]

You are truly an incredible human being, and I needed your powerful wisdom so much!! ♡♡

[@MarisaPeer]

That’s really kind of you to say ❤️

[@trishacusworth8828]

You speak Truth very inspiring

[@MarisaPeer]

Thank you x

[@Haridas991]

Thank you Marissa. You are really so good. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

[@MarisaPeer]

❤️ Marisa Peer Team

[@colinjames7569]

This is something men have known for eons lol

[@Southern_Empress]

A lot of girls are taught to be “good” growing up. “Good” means make everyone around you happy, especially narc parents. We have to unlearn that faulty programming.

[@queralescyrus6323]

Why must i stop being nice. When Jesus ready to his face to those who dont want to be nice then that will be a great deal of Niceness. I will not stop being whom God make Me to be under all the hurts, pain, i will not turn into any monster for no devil person. But you can just leave them in the cold an live yuh life. Dont let people change who you are beautiful, loving, kind, full of joy an all the awesome gifts you bless with. You can just simply remove yourself from that hurt person. But nice speech therapy. Sweet

[@rachelrrb1111]

I don‘t know, I feel this is all limited too much to the ego perspective. Constantly checking whether you are exploited by others. Of course it‘s not advisable to be naive and let other egos exploit your kindness, but there has to be a higher viewpoint than that of the anxious ego fearing to be outsmarted. Just my opinion…

[@mamam.d.8898]

Thank you

[@milliem8051]

I need to work on not saying “I’m sorry” so much

[@ButtercupBerry1234]

Something I needed to hear...very good...thank you

[@crystalclear6824]

2nd time listening to this topic and I learned something new. Thank you so much! You are truly an amazing and valuable person.🙏🏼💋

[@MarisaPeer]

That’s really kind of you to say ❤️

[@alishar9831]

You’re awesome 👏🏻

[@lakshmi29sep]

Why do someone constantly bully you? Insult you indirectly? Keep telling you you to do this or that..? Is it To feel superior or to control how you think? How to stop it coming to you ?

[@TheImperfectReader]

Had to rewatch.

[@MarisaPeer]

Glad you enjoyed it Ashley! Marisa Peer Team

[@MerarySofiaForever]

I NEED THIS IN SPANISH,BC MY MOTHER SHE NEEDS TO LEARN THIS. 😭

[@ArcticAngel8]

Hello from a fellow Geordie 🖐

[@realcanadiangirl64]

I was guilty of this until I was almost 50 until I realized that there's a big difference between being a NICE person or a KIND person. You don't always have to be viewed as "nice" to be kind

[@MarisaPeer]

Absolutely. 💖 Marisa Peer Team

[@liliangomez2662]

that’s true

[@thebelgianlad3813]

Me after this video: thinking about every type of kindness towards friends and womdering if it is to make them happy for their approval or is it just me wanting to do sometinf nice . Now my only difficulty now is, how do you know if your doing something nice to someone so they could like you or just because you wanted to do something nice . Help?

[@cisvaughan6937]

Mostly true. However, one CAN wither away and die from total lack of human touch. Hence the attempt at overcompensation with ten cats.

[@LOVETHYSELFDAILY]

Very good!

[@erinhappy-go-lucky5040]

I want to share a song that fits this podcast... Ziggy Marley- True To Myself

[@humbleweare]

sweet tune

[@anthonygreene8418]

100 percent!

[@nehemilia5033]

No none can reject or abandon me unless I give them permission

[@rachaelhammond1271]

Marissa I wrote a book and published it but although it made top 100 book rank this year , I can't get my royalty s , Marissa I

[@Gabby0026]

What bracelets do you wear?

[@sandy89107]

Nothing wrong with cats 🐈😻

[@QueenJuliana89]

True but notice they are self absorbed and have boundaries. I’ve learned a lot from followed their example 🐈

[@marykrismoss1861]

OVID was banished from his hometown for the remainder of his life for writing Metamorphosis.

[@Hannah-jk3dk]

Thak you

[@teixeiradewitte]

The problem is not being nice. The problem is PRETENDING to be nice...

[@weslynkelly9285]

Wow nature require balance awesome

[@stellai06]

What about "why being a prick leads to rejection"?

[@reg8297]

I'd you've been abused rejected your hole life its very hard not not let it in

[@jayarikishii]

Self-worth and Boundaries: 🙅‍♀ No one can reject you unless you give them permission, so don't let mean or horrible things affect your self-worth. 💼 The story of Trunky, the suitcase entrepreneur, highlights the importance of not allowing rejection to define you and instead using it as motivation to improve and succeed. 💪 Suppressing emotions and not setting boundaries can lead to feelings of resentment and being taken advantage of, as every "yes" becomes a disguise for not being able to say "no." 💪 Having the power to say "no" without feeling guilty or apologizing is important for setting boundaries and maintaining self-respect. 🗣 Practice saying no and setting boundaries, just like when we were babies and said "no" more often than "yes." 💰 The speaker highlights the controversial idea that one's own needs are more important than the needs of others, even in situations where a friend may be in need of help or support. 💡 Honouring yourself and setting boundaries are important for maintaining self-respect and avoiding being taken advantage of. 💪 Practice speaking your truth and being your authentic self, because people like you for who you are, not for being perfect. 💖 The key to finding phenomenal love is to believe that you are lovable. 🗣 "When you start to say negative things about yourself, you believe it and people around you believe it too." Relationships and Personal Growth: 🐉 Sometimes, rejection or failure can be a blessing in disguise, as it allows individuals to thrive without having to share their success with others. 😬 Trying to change the ending of a toxic relationship by turning someone into a "pussycat" is a mistake, instead, change the beginning and find someone who is nothing like your past negative experiences. 💔 "Stop trying to change them and change yourself because women want someone who other people want, and being desirable and lovable attracts more attention."

[@jayarikishii]

TLDR: Prioritizing others over yourself and being overly nice can lead to rejection and being taken advantage of, so it's important to set boundaries and prioritize your own needs. 1. 00:00 🔑 Rejection cannot harm you unless you allow it, so don't be afraid and keep pushing forward, as critical people often criticize others to elevate themselves. 1.1 Rejection may feel overwhelming, but it cannot harm you unless you allow it, as historically societies have expelled those who did not conform. 1.2 Rejection cannot kill you, and you have the power to choose not to let it affect you, so don't be afraid of rejection and keep pushing forward. 1.3 Critical people often criticize others because they feel bad about themselves and want to elevate themselves by diminishing others. 2. 02:41 💪 People can overcome rejection and achieve success by not letting negativity affect them, as demonstrated by the story of Trunky who fixed his broken suitcase prototype and became a successful multi-millionaire. 2.1 Critics try to bring you down, but you have the power to not let their negativity affect you and it can change your life. 2.2 People don't reject others out of pleasure, and it's up to the individual to overcome rejection and be successful. 2.3 A man named Trunky faced rejection on a show called Dragonstone when the dragons broke the strap on his suitcase prototype, but instead of being hurt, he fixed the strap and became a successful multi-millionaire. 2.4 People who were laughed at or rejected for their ideas ended up doing better because they didn't have to share their profits with others. 3. 06:15 🚫 Being overly nice and prioritizing others over yourself can lead to rejection and being taken advantage of, so it's important to set boundaries and confidently say "no" without feeling guilty. 3.1 Our culture teaches us to prioritize others' needs and opinions over our own, leading to a belief that our feelings and opinions don't matter, which can result in fear of rejection. 3.2 Avoiding rejection leads to a fear of expressing oneself and can result in suppressing emotions, causing them to resurface stronger, leading to difficulty in saying no and feeling overwhelmed. 3.3 Being nice because society expects it and sacrificing your own happiness doesn't benefit anyone, as people will push you as far as you allow them to and it's important to set boundaries. 3.4 Being able to confidently say "no" without feeling guilty or apologizing is important for setting boundaries and maintaining self-respect, whether it's declining requests for favours or avoiding getting caught up in online relationships. 3.5 Being overly nice and putting others before yourself can lead to rejection and being taken advantage of, as it shows a lack of self-approval and self-prioritization. 3.6 Practice saying no and undo the belief that saying no is rude, as the most important opinion you will ever hear is the one you have about yourself. 4. 13:48 🔑 Prioritize your own needs instead of constantly prioritizing others, recognize the origins of the need to be a people pleaser, and set boundaries to avoid being taken advantage of. 4.1 Recognize the origins of the need to be a people pleaser and prioritize your own needs instead of constantly prioritizing others. 4.2 Recognize that the need to be nice is acquired, not innate, and identify the origin of limiting beliefs; don't be excessively nice or a pushover, but instead build self-esteem by not always being the person others turn to for help. 4.3 Whose need is more important determines the prioritization of personal needs over others, even in situations where friends are sick or in need. 4.4 Being a nice person often leads to being taken advantage of, so it's important to set boundaries and maintain a balanced relationship. 5. 18:05 🔑 Put yourself first, build self-esteem, and believe that you are lovable in order to attract and maintain healthy relationships. 5.1 Put yourself first and honour yourself instead of being a martyr or ruthless, as being nice to yourself is more important than letting others take advantage of you. 5.2 Build self-esteem by liking and accepting yourself, speaking your truth, and practicing saying no, as people will like you for being authentic rather than perfect. 5.3 Love should make you feel good about yourself, and if you don't feel good enough with someone, they are not the right person for you; instead, believe that you are lovable because you can only love someone to the degree that you love yourself. 5.4 Don't rely on others to make you feel lovable, as it is your own responsibility, and changing external factors like appearance or status won't solve the issue. 5.5 Believing that you are lovable and deserving of love is essential in attracting and maintaining love, as relationships require a balance of giving and receiving love. 6. 24:02 🔑 Being too nice can lead to rejection because it can be seen as needy and desperate, so it's important to focus on changing yourself and finding someone who doesn't remind you of past negative experiences. 6.1 Instead of trying to change the ending of toxic relationships, it is more effective to change the beginning by finding someone who does not remind you of your past negative experiences. 6.2 Being too nice can lead to rejection because it comes across as needy and desperate, causing others to take advantage of your kindness without reciprocating. 6.3 Stop trying to change others and focus on changing yourself, because being nice to attract others may not always work and it's important to give to yourself what you want from others. 6.4 Fall in love with yourself to attract lasting love and believe in your worth, as others will believe it too. 7. 28:39 🔑 Being nice can lead to rejection because constantly prioritizing others' feelings over your own can result in repression and an inability to assert yourself, leading to disrespect and unnecessary drama. 7.1 A client who appeared depressed was actually repressed and suppressed due to her mother's suicide, leading to her being told to be a good girl and not upset her father. 7.2 A woman shares her experience of being a good girl and not having a voice and is advised to stand up to her mother-in-law. 7.3 Being nice can lead to rejection because when you constantly prioritize others' feelings over your own, you become repressed and unable to assert yourself, resulting in people disrespecting you and causing unnecessary drama. 7.4 The person initially didn't like the speaker but later thanked them because they lost weight. 7.5 A woman's life improved after standing up to her rude mother-in-law, losing weight, and refusing to take antidepressants despite her doctor's recommendation. 8. 33:30 😊 Marilyn Monroe believed that if she became rich, famous, and beautiful, she would feel lovable, but many clients have expressed feeling unloved and unable to find love.

[@eeyeltee]

Soon as I realized there is someone who will never leave nor betray me, I became confident and stronger. It was total peace and freedom! That person is me 🙂.

[@fortunatebeing-pcos]

Love this

[@aracelihernandez5221]

👌

[@susanb5058]

Emma that’s awesome!

[@eeyeltee]

@@susanb5058 Sure is! Though I rely on myself, I still am learning to receive help when offered and ask if I need it. As to being abandoned and betrayed, there's no guarantee it won't happen again but it's NBD (no big deal) knowing I have my back. 🫂

[@susanb5058]

@@eeyeltee sounds like a very healthy mindset! I find it really hard to ask for help too.. it’s all a learning process.

[@Hannah-jk3dk]

Thak you

[@veroniquehoflack4910]

If you were bullied as a child, you are more likely to be unreasonably nice.

[@yvasquez2449]

Better known as people’s pleaser...happens a lot

[@antilaw9911]

Very not true

[@avicennitegh1377]

@@antilaw9911 " more likely"

[@Janeway1269]

Truth

[@suzy6251]

Because you are trying to ensure your safety. People 'people please' for a reason, plus often feel they are not entitled to set boundaries, or don't know how, since they were never allowed to set them in childhood

[@sanchagaspard]

Toxic niceness is a real thing. You give and give and give at the expense of your time, comfort and happiness to people who are never satisfied, and at the end of the day, everyone is miserable! If everyone is going to be unhappy in spite of your efforts, you have an obligation to do what's best for you. Self concern is not selfishness and selflessness is only wonderful when gifted to those who deserve it. I've spent years trying to unlearn being a total people pleaser by practicing the art of saying NO, sometimes even when I wanted to say yes. I'm sooooo happy now and so is everyone around me because I'm not the resentful, angry, overwhelmed, unappreciated person that I used to be. I love and respect myself and others enough to say no...no explanation, excuses or approval necessary.

[@waitwhat6882]

That is awesome!!!

[@debbiedebbie9473]

Omg this is good advice.

[@alysiahite12]

"Self concern" is so good.

[@norm1815]

Amen

[@norm1815]

It's never your responsibility to rescue others from their irresponsibility

[@rivkaruthgolan]

There are people who get pleasure rejecting people. No one admits it.

[@bridgeofpeace5697]

NARCISSISTS

[@madelinebigio7565]

Absolutely the truth Amen

[@madelinebigio7565]

Absolutely the truth Amen

[@yvasquez2449]

Low self esteem can lead to a lot of things. People can act out their lack of self worth by bullying others, harassment, aggression, coercion, rejection...in that way they can achieve some sense of self power they cannot get in any other way. Don’t take it personally because it is not about you.

[@eeyeltee]

@@yvasquez2449 I agree 👍 I admit I reject and am also rejected but that's life. I've enforced my self esteem and confidence to accept rejection.

[@hyperxx99]

You give people an inch they take a mile. I always set healthy boundaries to protect myself from manipulation.

[@veroniquehoflack4910]

It is so true !

[@mistyf3612]

How do you set those healthy boundaries? I struggle with that.. can you give an example

[@veroniquehoflack4910]

@@mistyf3612 I recognize the signs that my whole body sends me when someone is pushing it or trying to steal my energy and positivity. I have learned to listen to my inner voice/ my instinct and i have learned to leave politely, to say no and sometimes run away.

[@mirelam9601]

I try to learn this.

[@patriciax3677]

Unfortunately not enough females are good at this. I appreciate so much feminist writings in the 70’s . It helped me b so much smarter and stronger and that enabled me to recognize all the mister wrongs and appreciate the mister right when we met and got to know each other. It’s been a satisfying happy 40 + years I wish it for everyone. Pat