The Rings of Power Is Going to Suck

[@funkydiscogod]

My favorite moment was when Sauron said "The ring is literal perfection," but then Galadriel says "It will be...when it fits a woman."

[@ANPC-pi9vu]

This is the best of these

[@rhys8182]

First prize for this comment 🥇

[@topheavykoolaid]

I like anything that mocks this crappy show. But what’s the reference, if any?

[@rhys8182]

@@topheavykoolaid @first season of batgirl

[@philcollins2546]

Class!!!

[@davidwinters8325]

I loved the bit where Sauron said you should never cross streams, and then fought Neo in a subway. Pure Tolkien. Chills.

[@scottcantdance804]

Evil cannot create, it can only $w1ndl€ and $ubv€rt.

[@mgancarzjr]

It's Saurin' time!

[@LoneWolf_Cub_Ogami_Itto]

That wasn't Neo, that was Jack in Speed.

[@herrikudo]

@@LoneWolf_Cub_Ogami_Itto i thought it was john wick looking for something bad enough to protect the president

[@npcperson2158]

* Urine streams not ghost buster streams....

[@boanerges87]

I loved the part where Sauron came out of the closest and transitioned from being a white male into a non binary person of color who suffers from a disability after being oppressed by the white male patriarchy. It’s just so stunning and brave.

[@KaiserFlash]

And then he said it’s morbin time.

[@PrivateSi]

Your version would be just as sick and TRANSHUMANIST as LOTR and even Christianity / Islam / Hinduism / Buddhism / Lefitism / Rightism / Liberalism - EXTREMELY... Whether it will end up being a Globalist War Coalition PROPAGANDA piece like LOTR is debatable, but with the way Tolkien's lot, the INTERNAZI LibCon World Order, have played things and are playing things another one of their GLOBALIST WARS looks very likely.

[@K-Wad]

I clapped!! I clapped when I saw it!!

[@DocPlants]

@@K-Wad we all clap. Always clap

[@vanessaroper3028]

😂

[@TS6815]

"They keep giving absolute nobodies the keys to gigantic franchises" That's exactly the point. Nobodies are easier for the suits in the boardroom to control because they don't have the clout or capital to stick up for themselves. Marvel made it industry standard, most notably with Thor 2 and Ant-Man where directors with creative visions got replaced with puppets. I'm also entirely unsurprised to hear they came from nu-Trek.

[@J.B.1982]

Exactly right, and don't forget about....**the agenda** They need to be on board with that

[@scottski02]

Not just Nu-Trek, but Nu-Trek writers that weren't even given credits on Beyond.

[@whitleypedia]

Exactly. If PJ were in the room, no one could tell him what to do.

[@davfree9732]

All the problems with modern cinema… they all stem from Jeff Joseph Abrams

[@lilfish5124]

@@davfree9732 Interesting Jeff J Abrams, Jeff Bezos, Jeff Epstien. Giving poor Jeff a bad name.

[@ganm345]

I loved the part when the small child falls over and starts crying. Samwise Gamgee picks him up, saying in a comforting voice 'always speak your truth'. That child grew up to be the Witch-king of Angmar.

[@dnaseb9214]

You killed me XD

[@kostasbiker9302]

I was literally shaking when Elrond said "It's over Sauron, I have the high ground" and then Sauron did 15 backflips before roundhouse kicking Elrond and saying "Shut up meg". Insane script I tell you.

[@Tzunamii777]

SPOLIERS!?!?!? Sheesh!!! 🤣

[@matthewvelazquez2013]

Backflips, did you Spek? Meesa does backflips. (Jar-Jar is Sauron.)

[@kostasbiker9302]

@@matthewvelazquez2013 But they were all of them deceived, for Darth Jar Jar created another ring.

[@bashkillszombies]

If you 'hate watch' this show this far into the culture war - just know - you are the enemy. Absolutely. There is no way giving them views or hits is acceptable.

[@Ebani]

Sounds like a script written by a very rough AI

[@Vaultboy101]

“Evil cannot create anything new, they can only corrupt and ruin what good forces have invented or made.”

[@wesleydunphy9182]

I like that.

[@georgeprchal3924]

Not necessarily true, evil made two Death Stars.

[@vonfaustien3957]

@@georgeprchal3924 in the EU the super laser was designed by an idiot who thought it would be used for mining the cores of dead planets. Come to think of it even Disney's crap had an unwitting scientist design the thing

[@them2545]

@@georgeprchal3924 therefore Darth vader is now officially and canonically good and the rebellion who just destroy the Death Star are now good

[@wesleydunphy9182]

@@georgeprchal3924 grow up.

[@leibermuster2399]

I had goosebumps when Sauron wore his power loader armor, yelled 'get away from her you B1TCH!' and punched Galadriel in the face.

[@MaxiemumKarnage]

Have you made it to the part in which Galadriel learns the humans left a bomb aboard her spaceship and she then asks Lord Hood "permission to leave the station?"?. I got chills Don Lemon said "For a brick, she is stunning and brave".

[@DistortedLinds]

Lmfao god that made me laugh

[@ShadeSlayer1911]

@Chase Daniel truly, one of the moments of all time in film.

[@Graven-Ash]

Did he say “its morbin time” tho?

[@maphanger2044]

My favourite part was when Lord Gladiatordriel turned to Emperor Sauron and said: "My name is Gladiatordriel, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next." Chilling stuff.

[@JustStop19]

"Зло не может создать ничего нового, оно может только испортить и разрушить то, что изобрели или создали добрые силы", - Джон Р. Р. Толкин.

[@ronniecorbett6306]

There it is. Truth

[@JockenN]

Seeing Sauron saying to Elrond: "No, I am your non-gender specific parent!", made my heart jump with joy. However in the next scene Galadriel pulled out a glock and mowed down orcs, yelling "check your privilege, cis-man!", I cried. Truly masterful writing. No doubt this will be cinematic magic and there is no chance of this show sucking whatsoever.

[@hybridh9702]

i honestly thought these jokes were ironic and then i pressed play on the video and saw sargon of akkard and realised no. this is the level that the anti wokes are genuinely at with this series now. it's what happens when you start saying it's shit 2 years before it's release. you keep having to up the imagined criticism lol. it's insane seeing this is level it's at. also there's like this quasi hyperbolic to it were people act like they're being dramatic but everything else suggests they're not.

[@lorencelaflair4306]

@@hybridh9702 ok walmart professor.

[@Zetact_]

I loved the part when Sauron said, "It's Saurorbin' Time" and saurorbed all over those guys.

[@LaxyDrey]

Holy shit my sides :’)

[@j-gem391]

Ya trying to say Sauron was having a 'toobin' time???

[@AyrKid]

Wait till you see Morgoth shows up and says "Morgon Time"

[@Pentti_Hilkuri]

Would the real Slim Sauron please stand up, please stand up.

[@TheSolidSnakeOil]

I was looking for this one.

[@Kadejones01]

I love it when Sauron says “Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.” Before reading There and Back Again to child hobbits while wearing heels… a tear rolled down my cheek.

[@TheJazzyjake1234]

Don't you mean half humans or whatever they are called

[@knight4395]

Brilliant!

[@Ja-eu6gj]

when he said "It's Sauring time" and mordored all over those guys, that was my favorite part.

[@ShermanistDruid]

I read "a tear trolled down my cheek"

[@bashkillszombies]

If you 'hate watch' this show this far into the culture war - just know - you are the enemy. Absolutely. There is no way giving them views or hits is acceptable.

[@Queeg1st]

I was literally shaking when Sauron turned to Treebeard and said, "we are going to need a bigger ring"

[@EmperorSigismund]

He said, after Middle Earth wholly embraced the 'Healthy at any weight' dieting philosophy.

[@bigduke5902]

Lol Sauron and Treebeard are friends now

[@cdavid8139]

one of the few times I've laughed in a couple of months when the subject of "Rings of Power" comes up. Otherwise I just sort of sigh and cry

[@kyriss12]

was that before or after he challenged Elrond to a rap off at the battle of 8th mile?

[@DocPlants]

@@kyriss12 moms spaghetti remix!!!

[@davidadiwego4608]

That part when Sauron says: "roads? where we're going, we don't need roads." Only a Tolkeinian scholar would've thought to put that line in the show.

[@MyEvilTaco]

That moment Galadriel hands Elrond the 12 gauge shorty and says “I’ll be back” before jumping into the Delorean gave me shivers. So much emotion.

[@chadwickseronio9363]

An unholy marriage of soulless corporate homogenization, Idpol, woke activism, dei kommissar interference, narcissism, hubris, and hatred for the source material. The Tolkien Fandom is very literary minded and passionate, no one is fooled by the lies, this is not Tolkien.

[@Nehfarius]

You forgot one: utter non-talent in writing. :p

[@azzy2001]

I loved the part when the Orcs showed up at Moria and protested about Dwarf privilege and just as they were about to pay reparations to them... King Theoden built a wall to keep the Elves out of Rohan and pissed everyone off. Such brave writing! Tolkien at his finest.

[@OUTLAW1345]

You forgot that part where Orcs and Elves tore down that racist wall and ended patriarchy.I was literally crying at that scene

[@celuiquipeut6527]

This is the BEST comment ever made. It should be copy pasted by everyone. This should be our standard banner.

[@CleverGirlAAH]

@@OUTLAW1345 Slay orc-queens! Slay!

[@GeraltofRivia22]

Based King Theoden

[@bigduke5902]

When Tom "Da Bomb" Bombadil took out a BFG from his bright yellow boots and bid CyberGollum "hasta la vista", I got so many chills down my spine a strange, green liquid shot out of my ass.

[@davenathan2002]

My favourite part was when Galadriel took a knee during the Numenorian national anthem. It really brought home how true to Tolkien this series is. Bravo!

[@bluebird3281]

Let see how quick Galadriel changes her tune when she is doing a couple years in Utumno for smuggling hashish cartridges.

[@raul0ca]

If only she was paid as much as the male Balrogs. I mean the dwarves Have Enough Money

[@WayStedYou]

@@bluebird3281 smuggling pipeweed would be more lore friendly

[@bluebird3281]

@@WayStedYou I don't need to be lore friendly, I is smartest than Tollkin. Do you think Amazon will hire me?

[@Bhead69]

I loved the part where Sauron said “ it’s saurin time!”

[@psevdhome]

When Elendil handed Gil-Galad his spear Aiglos and shouted: "Last Alliance, assemble", it gave me literal chills. This is the spirit and essence of Tolkien.

[@woodwyrm]

To semi-borrow a quote from Solzhenitsyn: We know it's going to suck They know we know it's going to suck We know they know that we know it's going to suck But it's still going to suck. I guess the violation of nerd culture and the hollowing out of franchises is going to continue until morale improves lmao

[@sixwingedasura3059]

Or until we stop worrying about appearing as 'mean' and start gatekeeping these people viciously.

[@sparking023]

I miss the times when anime was niche and you were "shoved in the locker" for playing DnD, reading comics and playing videogames. Hindsight is 20/20, and it was better when the nerds were left to their own devices

[@annamiau8116]

Its the corporisation and general effects of capitalisms mechanics we see in our nerd franchises once they got popular. Then it needs to go into the blender and become "bland" (sry bad pun) so everyone can enjoy it / no one gets hurt by sharp edges which have been eroded. You can see it in gaming, too. Gaming was great around 2005 - then it got popular and quality mattered less and less. Nowadays its just about money. Same happen to movies. Also studios; Too much power for studios. Disney is just producing product, no art. No passion.

[@demonstructie]

@@annamiau8116 lol yeah it's capitalism's fault 🤡

[@bennym5244]

We know that they know that we know that the kids won't think it sucks. The kids will be groomed into thinking it's great.

[@magustrigger9195]

My favorite part of the trailer was when the beadless black Dwarf princess used her catch phrase "Dats what I'm Tolkien about " and the studio just went wild. It really made me think hard!

[@predcon1]

That sounds like it could've come from Robot Chicken and I love it

[@xxyy6272]

The whole "moving with the fertility of the crops" and "humans have their fields" sounds ironically like they move farm to farm stealing crops.

[@TheMaleRei]

Travellers, indeed.

[@brendancoulter5761]

The communist way.

[@davenathan2002]

We wuz harfootz an' sheeit.

[@GeraltofRivia22]

So they're gypsies?

[@progste]

That would actually be interesting 🤣

[@SpecialAgentBillMaxwell]

It literally chilled me to the bone when Sauron dressed up as Prison Mike to teach the Fellowship that life in Mordor was hard, but then Galadriel fired him and he had to sell ink jets at Staples.

[@newdivide9882]

From what I’ve been told, the issue with CG is studios overdosing on it. I saw a clip from one of the old Transformers movies and could barely believe how incredible it looked. How much better it looked than stuff today somehow… According to a guy in the comments (can’t remember his credentials, if he had any; maybe he just knew VFX), Transformers used CG in order to IMPROVE shots, whereas movies and shows nowadays are using CG in order to CREATE entire shots, which I guess our brains can still tell on some level isn’t real

[@KratostheThird]

The Peter Jackson trilogy used CGI but it simply added to the existing actors already there. Gollum was a character made by CGI, there was a man in a suit and cameras capturing the scenes with him. Today, CGI is used more to replace the actors and the sets. Instead of going to New Zealand to film scenic shots, they’re now using computers and 4K technology to make the landscapes, which gives off a disturbing, post modern feel.

[@doOf3r]

The main excuse they're using seems to be 'Well, Tolkien never specifically said there wasn't...' So in that case there could be Cyborg Ninja Space Pirates in it too.

[@evannewman8381]

Don't give them ideas

[@chairmanmeow8388]

I'd maybe watch it if it had ninja space pirates.

[@TheMaleRei]

Pole dancing by Galadriel, anyone?

[@endlessstrata6988]

@@TheMaleRei "He NeVeR SaId ShE WaSn'T a SlUt TbH"

[@MaxiemumKarnage]

Master Chief, Doomguy and Samus all show up in the season 1 finale where they fight against the elven patriarchy

[@SpookSkellington]

The part where Sauron realised that attempting to conquer the world through force wasn't evil enough, and he was better off going into big tech, big pharma and manipulating the governments of Middle-Earth was interesting. Bit on the nose with the George Sauros fund though.

[@MrCIA-me3ef]

I found it especially riveting that he brought the labor unions over to his side, essentially strong arming the rest of the labor force and companies companies to his will. What was more profound was how he leveraged that power for political influence. Sauron basically created the orc mafia of middle earth.

[@PWingert1966]

Dont you mean the George Sauron fund?

[@KratostheThird]

@@PWingert1966 We know who the man is, but saying his actual name results in YT automatically deleting the comment.

[@chrishamm2515]

That scene where Sauron had Galadriel beaten and on her knees demanding her surrender and she said, "I can do this all day"... literally made my heart grow three sizes.

[@brucemaximus3797]

Ah, yes. Fatal induced cardiomegaly. Tragic stuff, only witnessing True Stupid can trigger it.

[@inthefade]

It was an amazing feat for Amazon to get Sony to allow Morbius to appear in this franchise.

[@rbu2136]

Loved when Sauron proudly came out to his parents informing them of his pronouns and his new trans-orc lover.

[@bigduke5902]

Did it break the heart measurement apparatus installed in your chest,too?!

[@chrishamm2515]

@@bigduke5902 That must have been the tightness I felt in my chest afterwards!

[@JezaLoki]

I loved the bit where Sauron proclaimed “ I have a dream!!! “ and Galadriel drops from above, superhero landing and says coldly “ everybody got a dream…till they get punched in the mouth.” I’m literally shaking.

[@sparking023]

Having watched the Prequels *before* the OG Star Wars trilogy, I gotta raise the defense that Master Yoda still exuded an aura of knowledge and wisdom when he appeared. He *also* demonstrated his experience with the light saber, which is part of being a Jedi, a master on top of it. So the transition between the two trilogies felt pretty consistent, as even Yoda was duped by Palpatine's machinations and his mind was clouded by the ongoing war. Even more time has passed when he met Luke, he has learned from his mistakes, and he's even more in tune with the Force after being isolated in meditation. In a sense, his character was still respected. What they're doing to Galadriel is far from it and we know the reasons behind. They know this, and they know we know, and are going to do it anyway, either because they now are committed to it or because they think LotR is too big to fail

[@KratostheThird]

Yes. Apart from things like some dialogue being meh and Jar Jar Binks being comic relief, the prequels, despite their flaws, aren’t that bad.

[@Avenus112]

When they said harfoots were nomadic farmers that was an instant oxymoron. Nomads werent farmers, they were hunters and animal herdsmen. Farmers dig down and cultivate soil, which can take years to develop anything capable of growing something edible. An fruit orchard can take decades to establish before it yields anything at all. If harfoots were nomadic farmers all that would mean is they stay as long as it takes to extract all the quality from soil then they find new territory to despoil. By LOTR's standards that would make them parasites and a scourge on the land as bad as orcs. The writers just dont know what theyre talking about, at all.

[@nunceccemortiferiscultu7826]

Herdmens would be a better term. Or would that have "racist undertones"?

[@umiluv]

Most of these people have never spent anytime in the countryside and working the ground. How the f could you write about hobbits if you never lived in the Shire? Utterly, useless anti-fanfic.

[@zxyatiywariii8]

Ah, so the "nomadic farmers" are SJW self-inserts -- infest a healthy IP, devour it like locusts, wear it as a skin suit until finding another healthy IP to infest and devour, etc. etc. etc.

[@Avenus112]

@@zxyatiywariii8 essentially yes. Or any other invasive, parasitic form of life lol

[@rwberger6]

You're expecting a bunch of progressive writers who've never left the city to know anything about farming.

[@VanityEvolved]

I love how hard they've ruined Galadriel, when literally a single scene in the films sums up not only her own feminine power, but in a way which is refreshing outside of just 'I am evil and the world shall burn'. Her monologue when Frodo offers her the Ring still sends shivers down me. "In place of a dark lord, you shall have a queen, as beautiful and terrible as the dawn! As treacherous as the sea! All shall love me, and despair!" Real Ozymandius vibes.

[@toolegittoquit_001]

Back when literature was actual poetry. Good times, good times

[@TheJeremyKentBGross]

Kinda like how we liked dragon girl in GoT... until she actually had power.

[@JockenN]

Because a powerful woman with feminine power, which Galadriel has in the original, terrifies them. They can only write "powerful" women as men.

[@thinkwithurdipstick]

Yeah but that bit was written by Tolkien so of course it’s gonna be brilliant

[@calibre97]

Also the scene, one of the few good ones, in The Hobbit where she animates and flat out rebukes the EFF outta Sauron. Yeeted his CGI ass right off screen. That. Is. Power. Not clinging to an ice wall in an 'homage'...oh hell, call it what it is, rip off of another series.

[@grandmufftwerkin9037]

I'd wager that Tolkien might rather to have gone back to the Western Front than see how Amazon massacred his work.

[@woodwyrm]

"Look what they've done to my boy"

[@ANPC-pi9vu]

He did well, finishing his work and dying before he could see it ruined like this. And then there's G.R.R. Martin.

[@woodwyrm]

@@ANPC-pi9vu yeah, Martin seems to be content to see his great work be tarnished by wokery

[@StockpileThomas1]

broother

[@andrewmcguinness1845]

I did some research, and I think it's likely that Tolkien was present at the battle of the Passchendaele, one of the worst and most horrific battles of WW1. I wonder if, given the choice, he rather go through that again than to have his work desecrated and molested like this.

[@andrewhall7176]

That picture of all the other dwarven lords standing around the fat black dwarf looks like Halloween at Bog Momma's House.

[@samh-n2368]

"Hate-watching" is still watching, and it still makes you a fan of the show. The viewing figures don't determine who liked what they saw, only who watched it, and the number of eyeballs is what generates the revenues.

[@lukemanion2]

I would suggest there may be a bit of Jack Sparrow involved in obtaining episodes to watch

[@Quark214]

@@lukemanion2 This, if you are feeling hopelessly bored and feel the need to hate-watch this, at least take the time to pirate this dumpster fire.

[@ct6852]

I don't get how the money of it works at all. People have Prime for shipping right? How do eyeballs equal dollars? I never see any ads...

[@samh-n2368]

@@ct6852 In the case of streaming services with subscriptions: if more eyeballs are on a show that generates revenues for the creators as they will be contracted to make more shows in the future.

[@ct6852]

@@samh-n2368 I wonder how they justify such an expensive show?

[@spacejunk2186]

I loved the moment when Sauron said "He is the One" when Frodo got up after Gandalf shot him in the chest 6 times in Mount Doom. Such an iconic moment in the story.

[@SirBlackReeds]

I prefer when he beat Falcon in a rap battle.

[@nautdead3197]

"It's hobbin time!" Best line in all of Tolkien's work

[@Usammityduzntafraidofanythin]

Internet Firearms Movie Database doesn't have an article on what Gandalf was shooting with. What sort of gun would best suit a guy like Gandalf?

[@wesleywarsmith1113]

We don't demand or wish to be a part of Swahili culture or ANY African culture for that matter. They should feel the same.

[@stonemarten1400]

Quite fancy being an extra in the Impi at the next re-make of Zulu, you know now that we’ve got this diversity thing going on, though I might stand-out as a bit paler than my fellow tribesmen.

[@philcollins2546]

Spent weeks on a sunbed and applied for a role as a wakandan tribesman. Didn't even get back to me!

[@barryjones8123]

@@philcollins2546 🤣🤣

[@NeuroHead]

When Captain Whaamen flew straight into the tower of Barad Dur and smashed it to pieces i got chills . She was like "You gotta do better Sauron!" and i clapped.

[@Aechelian]

That was because he was mansplaining the finer points of architecture, right?

[@ceruleanzone2041]

"Hate-watching" Rings of Power - Upsetting, gives Amazon views, supports the show. Cancelling your Amazon subscription on September 2nd - Sends a message, honors Tolkien, saves you £8 a month.

[@pyromanci2736]

When I heard the initial interview and them saying "We wondered what it would be like with more non binary" or whatever the exact wording was. I was like "Yup. This is gonna suck horribly."

[@DestroyDEI]

"BuT whAt iF sAuroN wAs LiKe, HoT?" Absolute cringe

[@johnstrawb3521]

About 0.001% of the population is trans. There should be about 1 tv series with a secondary trans character. In Britain, 3% of the population is black. About 1 series of 10 should have a black character in the main cast.

[@LaxyDrey]

The reactions towards people saying black skinned people aren't supposed to be there is ridiculous. Imagine if we went and swapped Black Panther with some white character and see people flip out if that were to happen. But if it's swapping Nordic and English based lore with some African or Mexican folk it's all A-OK! Hypocritical fools really.

[@endlessstrata6988]

They always say that "His color wasn't intrinsic to his character!". To which you reply "I don't give a single, solitary shit about what you think, retard. I want faithful representations of the source material. End of discussion."

[@nkemnoraulmanfredini7286]

White wakandans exists😐

[@realityshotgun]

Crouching tiger hidden dragon with ruddy scots. 12 years a slave starring Tom Arnold.

[@LaxyDrey]

@@nkemnoraulmanfredini7286 Why aren't hey represented in the Black Panther movie then huh? 😩

[@primmakinsofis614]

I look forward to the Amazon Prime series set in feudal Japan in which half the Samurai are black and half are women.

[@alecstewart2612]

I loved it when Sauron wrapped his arms around Galadriel and said "Baby, if loving you is wrong, then I don't want to be right" and they started making out in the rain to _"It's All Coming Back to Me Now"_ , the Meatloaf version not the Celine Dion one. Heartwarming.

[@wojak-sensei6424]

And then Elrond arrived, shocked that he got cucked by Eminem, and challenged him to an 8 Mile rap battle. Elrond's spaghetti wasn't ready that day, and he never forgetti how he got served by the Rap God of Middle Earth.

[@lewisgreenhalgh7546]

The bit where you specified the Meatloaf version made me aput my joint out 🤣

[@harrypike5140]

We love a non-binary queen like Sauron

[@PWingert1966]

I think having Frodo sing a Duet with Sauron of "I d do anything for the ring but I won't do that " by Meatloaf would have improved the scenes immensely!

[@wyntr1903]

Gilg-Galad shouting freedom before he and Jack Sparrow took on Godzilla was truly astounding screenplay.

[@genghiscarnage4015]

I loved the bit when Judge Dredd said ' I Am The Law ' and Galadriel put him in an iso cube for a month. Girl power !

[@Mazzy774i]

“The road goes ever on and on.” Stay strong brothers we will prevail past this evil

[@Sgt_SealCluber]

Dude's got enough strength to throw an adult female standing on his sword 30ft into a troll, but somehow needs said female to defeat said troll for him.

[@occultnightingale1106]

I mean, technically, Elves weigh less than humans, as evidenced by Legolas’ several “weightless moments” in both LotR and The Hobbit, but this is like jumping the shark in that regard. Jumping the Troll, perhaps?

[@danielwilliams7161]

@@occultnightingale1106 He also walks on top of the snow when they're crossing the mountains in the first movie. I always thought that was a neat touch.

[@danielwilliams7161]

It didn't really look like he flung her so much as she used his sword as a springboard. Both are dumb though.

[@handles_are_a_bit_rubbish]

@@occultnightingale1106 It's more that Elves are just able to do that, being as that's generally how mythology goes and the Elves being intrinsically magical in world of Arda.

[@hughdelaterra9004]

You always know a movie is a total stinker everytime the actors and writers attack the fans before its release. That's what "inclusive" really means and that train is NEVER late....

[@bigduke5902]

Remember when Vincent Gallo placed a hex on Roger Eberts colon?

[@bigwetsalmon1]

@@bigduke5902 I've never googled something quicker

[@Songbirdstress]

And the source material...the shade they throw at Tolkien....according to them his work needs a total re-write. I hate the female characters they make. Fragile entitled and supposedly great physical strength though because they're worth it.

[@spacejunk2186]

I don't remember the actors being outlandishly hostile, but they are rather stupid. The actress for Galadriel was asked the question "what do you tell the people who have read the books and are concerned with the show?" and she answered "read the books" lol.

[@bigwetsalmon1]

@@spacejunk2186 comments like that are what the term 'passive aggressive' was invented for.

[@Ed_Gein_crafts]

The most based thing any of us can do: ignore it completely. Dont watch a single minute of it, dont talk about it. Dont get upset. Ignore it like it doesnt exist. The pink hairs want your rage and your views. Dont feed the Cave Trolls.

[@manfredvoncoolstuff6071]

Yeah, that's what I never understood about the hate-watch. If you dislike what this content stands for on a deep and fundamental level, why would you contribute even by just watching it and allowing it to consume some of your time and attention, gaining cultural relevance. Wouldn't it be better to just let it die?

[@woodwyrm]

well i am going to watch it lmao just to see how bad this is

[@JAFTW]

Let the woke die, kill it if you have to.

[@qaztim11]

I think Morbius has shown that something can be memed into oblivion yet still lose money. This has the potential to be a batwoman tier trainwreck and i want to be on the cutting edge of the meme economy

[@lilfish5124]

They want our hate watches, but they do not want our scorn and mockery for their epic failure. There is no way we should give them that luxury.

[@Vulpes_Inculta]

I love the part when Galadriel said to Sauron, "Will the real Slim Sauron, pls stand up" and started dancing together. Such a nice homage.

[@lairdkilbarchan]

Yaaaaawn. So glad my inner bullshyte detector was actively operating by the age of twelve and allowed me to resist the lure of this utter guff.

[@hittalot]

Love the part when Sauron Snow finally crafts the One Ring, looks at it for a minutes silently and says "I don't want it" and hands it to Galadriel Targaryen telling her "She's our queen" I cried, so stunning and brave.

[@spitfiremark1a768]

I went to a Diso. There were Auks, wizards Hobits and goblins and elves dancing. It was literally Mordor on the dance floor!

[@frdsg8350]

And you better not steal the Ring

[@joba4848]

Were those Auks great?

[@llamasugar5478]

Galadriel already WAS powerful. She faced the ultimate test-supreme power-and overcame. By rejecting the temptation. The Woke will never understand this.

[@Madonnalitta1]

There's a whole host of great female characters, it's obvious that they've never read any Tolkien.

[@TheMaleRei]

The Woke would have taken the power and... Well, turned everyone to dust...

[@Mechagodzilla128]

@@Madonnalitta1 Even female monsters are powerful. Ungoliant, Shelob's mom almost killed Morgoth, whom is Sauron's master in the Simarilion.

[@pilgrim42]

When melinated Gollum saw the One Ring he yelled, "Gibs me dat!".

[@stunner9005]

I loved the part where Sauron is like: “game over man!” It was hilarious.

[@rwberger6]

"Taking up space" What a wonderfully dehumanizing and demoralizing term to describe minority group. Truly the progressive mindset lead the cutting edge on racist dialogue.

[@Jeff-cn9up]

I enjoyed the part where the elven marines, led by (oddly Haradrim looking) Tar-Miriel, went into the terraformer and they found the "harfoot of color" cocooned in the wall, and Sauron was reborn by bursting out of her chest, then all the tyranids came out of the walls. Epic.

[@Madonnalitta1]

Brilliant, a Warhammer and Alien collaboration.

[@kimrasmussen7188]

use spoiler warning. some of us havent seen it yet.

[@EnsignRedshirtRicky]

"The Shadow that bred them can only mock, it cannot make: not real new things of its own. I don't think it gave life to the orcs, it only ruined them and twisted them..." - J.R.R. Tolkien

[@MrChickennugget360]

and Frodo Baggins- he is the one who said those words.

[@redstarling5171]

A good analogy for socialists, once human now twisted beings of darkness and perversion.

[@predcon1]

I remember that being mentioned in one of the side books. They were elves that were captured and tortured and kept underground for a very long time.

[@clonebaw_]

When Sauron said "It puts the lotion on its skin or it goes back in." I cried one single tear.

[@Optimusj1975]

15:50 - Carl got it wrong. They weren't given PERMISSION to desecrate Tolkien, they were given THE MISSION to desecrate. Hence the waiting for his son to die, so his grandson would greenlight the whole desecration project. Because you know... you can retcon his grandad into a bad writer, so the grandson can realize his dream of being a better writer than his grandpa.

[@ArcanistBlack]

Everything about their marketing campaign shouts “subvert expectations”, and we all know how that worked out with Game of Thrones.

[@armouredjester1622]

Game of What Now?

[@TheMaleRei]

And Star Wars, and Terminator, and and and and...

[@redman836]

hand rubbing intensifies

[@thitherword]

If you think it's going to be bad, just imagine what someone who has read 11 Tolkien books and has a channel dedicated to memorizing his songs and poems is going to feel. Dreading this show.

[@refundreplay]

You've only read 12 Tolkien books? fake fan. Im teasing, of course.

[@noka79]

I feel for you

[@Slarti]

Don't watch it - really, it will just ruin the books for you.

[@thitherword]

I should clarify that I don't mean to gloat in this message; there are people who are even more invested in Tolkien's Legendarium than I am. Do you know what's worse than what they're doing to this show? The leftist Twitter crowd with their anime avatars talking about how Halbrand is "hot" and how Queen Galadriel "slays". Here was me thinking that the Legendarium was an infinitely complex mythopoeic work of fiction with deep Catholic sympathies. Apparently not.

[@umiluv]

Just don’t watch it. I boycotted all the Star Wars sequel movies after TFA and Luke is perfectly preserved in my mind as the Gray Jedi Master I know him to be. I don’t need to watch some anti-fanfic made by people who don’t know anything about the lore or care about it.

[@FTChomp9980]

Meanwhile ScreenRant: "Here's why the Lord of Rings Trilogy being erased from canon is a good thing." I'm already predicting a article that a Journalist will write basically these folks will do anything to defend trash this series is already dead on arrival because it doesn't respect Toilken at all.

[@andrewmcguinness1845]

I loved the part were Sauron said "It's Morgoth time!" and then tricked all the Noldor into Morgothin' his enemies.

[@TuorTheBlessedOfUlmo]

My favourite part of the original trilogy was when King Théoden tried to avert that iceberg but ended up hitting it. also the show looks amazing, such a stunning and brave cast

[@dannyy6339]

I loved the bit when Galadriel said to Sauron "this is my swamp!" Stunning and brave!

[@peterh2223]

When Sauron said “This is A Message from Lord Nergal: “I await you on the dread Isle.”” Chills right down my spine

[@joba4848]

The bit that really hit home, was when Galadriel was doing exercises in her underwear whilst standing in the middle of a camp site. As she attempts a chest stretch, the strap on her bra snaps, sending her bolder holders into the face of Sauron, whilst Frodo stands there chuckling. It was magical. The scene was made even better, when Gandalf, having witnessed the whole episode, mutters his classic catchphrase ‘Ooooh Matron’. The whole cinema rose as one, and started clapping. Tolkien would have written the scene, if he had had a better imagination.

[@TheEldritchGod]

I love the part where Galadriel gets face to face with Sauron and says, "You're gonna need a bigger ring."

[@rman88]

You know, the crops thing could be a reference to the WEF. As even in media can't let people eat animals. No no everyone has to be a vegan and eat the bugs.

[@intellectualiconoclasm3264]

Let's just be succinct about what this show is, The Cervical Rings of Power. Nothing more. It's about showing women can be just as and more bad-ass then men. It's about social reconstruction through the Ministry of Truth correcting our old cultural fictions and tailoring into a "Better, more inclusive, and DEI-focussed society."

[@JazenValencia]

Exactly, Once again it's Hollyweird destroying what we love.

[@mrlakkie1612]

Almost everything is now.

[@Madonnalitta1]

It didn't need it though. Tolkien already had some great female characters. Arwen, Galadrial, Goldberry, Loreth, Eowyn, Haleth ect.

[@intellectualiconoclasm3264]

@@Madonnalitta1 DAMNED RIGHT!

[@JaneA544]

Oh no, it didn't need any of that insidious cult infiltration ffs, amazon are worse than disney

[@manifesteddestiny.]

It's incredibly important to not even give this a curiosity watch

[@Madonnalitta1]

I'm with you there, not even tempted to hate watch.

[@umiluv]

100% agreed. I won’t even give them the numbers. Apathy is the opposite of love. Hate = attention. It’s not worth any of my attention. I have much better things to do.

[@barryjones8123]

I don’t think I could stomach it.

[@kokocaptainqc]

true BUT STILL destroy them anywhere we can.....and forever after to make sure they cant do that again anywhere

[@davidadiwego4608]

unless illegally obtained (🏴‍☠) , a friend said.

[@AllinWhenPlaying]

I love it when Galadriel crashes a Mac tuck into T1000 and saves Elrond saying "come with me if you want to live", and when refuses, she grabs him under her arm and rides away on this flaming Harley. We've waited so long for a proper birthing person hero.

[@easyevilg299]

apologize to mack truck, Pontiac's aren't in the same league

[@pure-blood17]

...she totally smashed the patriarchy on that one....I shed a tear as the scene ended and sobbed into my safety blanket.

[@Akimbo411]

I loved the part where Sauron says “It’s Ringing time” then he totally rings on em

[@joeblow411]

Let me see if I'm doing this right I loved the part where Sauron said "I'm Something of a Ring Maker Myself"

[@bridgetsilver7332]

Nailed it! 🤣

[@awesomehpt8938]

Think I’ll just watch the entire extended edition of the LOTR trilogy again on blue ray.

[@ct9564]

Make sure it's colour corrected.

[@ravemaestro7398]

The best part was when the female orc placed her helmet on her helmet and said “it’s Orcin’ time” genius

[@wojak-sensei6424]

I loved the part when Eminem faced his demons and won a rap battle against Galadriel by saying the n-word. Bitch got clapped by the GOAT.

[@jacksonconstantine5740]

@@wojak-sensei6424 this one got me 😂

[@ashraile]

When Galadriel clutched Elrond's hand at the Battle of Helm's Deep and earnestly whispered, "This family....is our fortress." I was genuinely moved. Truly a masterpiece of cinema.

[@tomaszwota1465]

The best part is when Galadriel runs into battle with face paint screaming "FREEDOM!" at the top of her lungs.

[@guilty_mulburry5903]

No hate watching! No. Hate. Watching. No fucking hate watching! They've got a lot riding on this and it needs to fail

[@DiZtheJedi]

Regarding what Sauron looked like in the Second Age, he looked like an exceptionally handsome elf at least part of the time. He appeared to Celebrimbor, the Jewelsmith who crafted the rings, as Annatar - which means "Giver of Gifts" in either Sindarin or Quenyan - and was a very handsome and charismatic elf. So, not at all like what the show's giving us.

[@angryhermit4291]

Right. The eminem looking guy isnt going to be Sauron. Hes gonna be the one who looks like a discount Jared Leto.

[@kokocaptainqc]

@@angryhermit4291 to which i always reply: eminem could be playing Santa Claus for all i care...the fact remains that Eminem was NEVER in middle-earth

[@angryhermit4291]

@@kokocaptainqc facts

[@asimovvomisa4040]

Don`t you know that beauty and charisma is for the good guys and the bad guys are bad cause they are not handsome etc.?Remember: Always judge a book by it´s cover. XD

[@lgbtqisahategroup9781]

Sauron? More like heroin addict.

[@ConcealedCarrier]

When Sauron refrained from killing Epstein and told him ‘with great power comes great responsibility’ - that was where I got all misty.

[@kimrasmussen7188]

aww i missed that. but this is only a good excuse to watch this masterpiece again

[@lilfish5124]

he is nicer than the real monsters in charge? News

[@CavaleiroDasTrevas-0615]

"Everything woke turns to 💩!" -Donald Trump

[@Adam2050]

We had space Jesus in Star Trek and Star Wars, now we have mythical Jesus.

[@ce244]

The best bit was where they all stepped forward one after the other and said "I'm Gandalf...", "No, I'M GANDALF" after being encircled and then one complained that "he shot The Giggler, man..." 😔

[@OrthwormJEB]

I'm not a LotR fan nor do I have any knowledge of the books. I do like to give a huge shout out to the fans that are having NONE of Amazon's bull and are continuing to ratio every video they put up on their channel.

[@Madonnalitta1]

LotR was the first book that I really fell in love with as a child and turned me into a lifelong reader. Your right, we're having none of it.

[@umiluv]

I highly recommend at least the movies by Peter Jackson (not the Hobbit trilogy though). There are countless themes in the book (and the movies do a great job) which is why so many people love the stories - war, industry vs country, fear vs courage, friendship, sacrifice, judgment vs compassion. It’s all there. So many lessons and you find new ones every time you reread the books or watch the movies as you age. Timeless.

[@kokocaptainqc]

dont know how old they hope to get but myself i think i still have about 40 years left to battle them each day

[@delvinstickyfingers3103]

„Das Böse kann nichts Neues erschaffen, es kann nur korrumpieren und ruinieren, was gute Mächte erfunden oder gemacht haben“

[@cristiancojocaru9821]

I really must have missed the part where Tolkien's works were describing post 2000's america, what a visionary.

[@snagletoothscott3729]

Like sands though an hourglass, so our the Middle Earth days of our lives.... The irony of tolkenizing Tolken

[@Stone7C1]

just a friendly reminder that even if you pay to hatewatch it, youre supporting it. you also make yourself part of that viewer statistic on amazons streaming service, making it look like its popular and liked. their algorithms and bank accounts dont care why you watched it, only that you paid them to watch it.

[@pauperslament3467]

Do they have one person on that cast that doesn't look like they're straight out of an inner city high school play?

[@XodusFTW]

The bit where Galadriel jumpstarts the bigbang with jumper cables and a rubber band left me flabbergasted.

[@ortacreef8557]

.... and called Sauron a passive aggressive mansplainer who should be banned from social media.

[@TheUplate]

It's a love story across time, space, death and reality

[@braindead5283]

I loved the part where the dwarf princess yelled "it's Dwarven Time" and took on an army of goblins with nothing but her boy-toys beard brush and a single leather sandal. Best scene of the show.

[@potatokitty]

The dance battle between Sauron (spelling) and a young black gandalf, in drag, was epic aswell. And right after the Tall big titty goth elven gender-queer went into the big unnamed castle (because the arks suck obviously) and saved fhe kids from Dildo Teabaggins.

[@Tiamat013]

i love the scene where an Ork says to galadriel 'smile lady' and then she kicks his ass and steals his motorcycle. i clapped!!

[@atraxian5881]

Screenwriters: "we chose the best people for the roles" Also Screenwriters: "looking for a short, fat, black chick. Doesn't matter if she can act, only matters if she looks the part of the short, black, fat chick"

[@brendancoulter5761]

My favorite part is when Isildure said "Avengers, Assemble!" So iconic.

[@PolarRed]

I cried when Morgoth said to Sauron, to say to Wesley "Get off my Pontoon!" poetry and pathos epitomised!

[@joba4848]

When Sauron shouted ‘we’re gonna need a bigger boat’ at Galadriel, just after the great black shark surfaced, was devastatingly well written. Diversity and beauty.

[@jonny_kung]

I loved the bit where the elves voted for Galadriel but then we get totally subverted and Sauron becomes leader of the Elves. Proper "omg" moment.

[@DefineHatespeech]

Sauron: “nO eViDeNcE oF vOtEr FrAuD”

[@titanicpat1275]

Tolkien's work is so hopelessly and hilariously beyond the petty reach of Amazon's showrunners that Rings of Power cannot possibly be considered "canon" in any way at all. any argument claiming lawyers signing the right contracts has any value is just laughable. In fact this has made me question why I believe any shitty reboot is canon.

[@richardjohnston-bell476]

My favourite part was when the ewoks arose from their hiding in the Old Forest and went to war riding the ents to save the shire from the white walkers and their armies of dead invading from the frozen north where they were secretly created by Melkors second favourite servant Lord Voldemort. I literally cried.

[@PoopaChallupa]

The part when Sauron said "We call Galadriel Baba Yaga" and then Galadriel killed every orc because they killed her cat. It was amazingly done!

[@Madonnalitta1]

That really made me chuckle.

[@talltroll7092]

...with a pencil. A fuckin' pencil!