The Roast of Sam Riegel

[@symphonicstorm317]

Can Ashley's One-Shot just be her roasting the whole cast in turns for four hours?

[@rosesarafilovic]

Joe A. So just the opposite of Liam's first one shot?

[@Hypersqurell]

I wish I could retweet this.

[@junkname9983]

one 3 minute roast burned down Notre Dame. I don't know what would be left after 4 hours of Ashley roast.

[@smOVERCOMINGITALL]

lmfao, Their attacks are all roasts. They roll for roast attack and then the DM decides the HP. that would be EVERYTHING.

[@cjvs1604]

Hello everyone, and welcome to Critical Roast

[@C.C07]

“To say I’m honoured would be and understatement of my own achievements so I will just say you’re welcome” god what a legend

[@HushtheMag]

She's reading pre written lines.

[@C.C07]

Michael Jarrett man we all know the whole show is scripted, still good though

[@euronimo34]

@@HushtheMag no way dude

[@HushtheMag]

@@hirocheeto7795 A bunch of people playing a board game is scripted? Then what's the point in watching? They could at least have better writers.

[@hirocheeto7795]

What? No? I was being facetious and saying you were pointing out the incredibly obvious. The game itself isn't scripted.

[@smolmipha]

Ashley used Vicious Mockery! It was super effective!

[@jaydenisaacs4855]

Victoria Johnson nat20 my guy

[@jelleluyten5017]

@@jaydenisaacs4855 Yasha's Hideous Laughter :D

[@Toyo4Suka]

More like Power Word: Kill on Sam

[@jelleluyten5017]

@@Toyo4Suka Technically true, but that's not a word play!

[@arancourt5623]

She must be at 17th level cuz that was at 4d4 psychic damage.

[@RavenousDrake]

This isn't a roast. This is vivisection.

[@devinlow4475]

Brad Horton and here I thought Caleb was the one who burns people.

[@sybariticcupboardrat3763]

Sherlock reference?

[@bezerkoid]

"THIS IS NOT WAR. THIS IS PEST CONTROL"

[@Ajehy]

This is a cremation

[@klaytonrocks]

Yeah dude, when I was watching this part, I was like “I didn’t expect to see a live execution”

[@GZilla311]

And I didn't expect to enjoy it so much.

[@Tetra392]

@@GZilla311 Also didn't expect the one getting executed to seemingly enjoy it so much until it hurt

[@GZilla311]

@@Tetra392 But of course we're not kink-shaming here.

[@Tetra392]

@@GZilla311 nah of course not. We dink shame and nothing more on this, the greatest of internet's

[@arancourt5623]

Liam: Ashley, how do you want to do this? Ashely: hold my beer.

[@Molly-bj5gb]

God I was really in Sams corner until Ashley. #VotingWithMyJohnson

[@tylertakamori2541]

I was on the fence, till Ashley dropped the “Jeff Goldblum” Nuclear Warhead out of nowhere.

[@legendswarble2845]

So many times I almost went with Sam but then Ashley would show up and I would forget I even saw him.

[@EightThreeEight]

Please don't say "Voting With My Johnson" ever again.

[@Molly-bj5gb]

EightThreeEight you’re gonna stop me numberboy?

[@EightThreeEight]

@@Molly-bj5gb "Numberboy"? That's actually quite good. I'll have to make a note of that one.

[@bradleyjudge8674]

You know.. Technically since Liam and Sam were impeached.. The VP Ashley Johnson would have become acting President of DND Beyond..

[@lowkeylonely4265]

😱😱🤯

[@michaelbrucato7180]

She is President of the Critical Role Foundation lol

[@danielboatright8887]

Na, they fucked up enougj she got fired too.

[@cecilia7932]

So is that why things have been running so smoothly

[@Ozgarthefighter]

@@danielboatright8887 she's still listed as president on the official page, where are you getting your info?

[@GodBear97]

Ashley: "I can tell you what myself is not, myself is not an alcoholic" Sam: "Okay, that's true" Ashley: "Friends. People. Voters. We all watched this week's Talks Machina..." Sam: "Oh no..."

[@sourpatch4607]

I love Ashle

[@aromaladyellie]

I like his confusion lmao. “Okay? Sure...? OH NO”

[@markdasaro9045]

Because cold donkey piss wouldn't do the job

[@hrodga]

It's nice that he played into it after he caught on, though.

[@Kaigai_Kaiju]

Travis dying in the background just makes this so much better

[@__Stitchy]

... Donkey wearing a Jeff goldblum mask -OH MY GOD

[@EthalaRide]

the only ONLY way Sam could possibly overtake Liam at this point is if he can convince Laura to be his running mate/queen.

[@mysdannie]

but she has to prepare for the presidential campaign better than she does her (obviously cute and adorable) ads for the merch available in their stores.

[@comet6415]

He needs to get Talison as a running mate. only dark magic can save him now.

[@ryanferguson3926]

Or if he somehow convinces Matt to get in on this, that would be a very interesting election race

[@comet6415]

@@ryanferguson3926 or maybe Brian Foster, but have a whole scene where he approaches Brian like it's the godfather. really double down on the whole graft and corruption campaign.

[@ryanferguson3926]

@@comet6415 hahaha that's ace. Gotta love Sam setting up such a brilliant bit that just keeps on giving but still, I'm currently #votewithmyjohnson

[@Vill-e3v]

Does she still think she's playing Pike? That could only be described as a high level sacred flame right there...

[@WorgenGrrl]

And it left quite the burn

[@Pokeboyska]

Not a puny cantrip, that was a full on level 9 flame strike!

[@Vill-e3v]

@@Pokeboyska Might as well have just called down the Meteor Swarm

[@PsychoticLuna]

Guiding Bolt far up Sam's butt

[@AltriaQueenOfMoths]

That was on par with Primordial Thordak's fire breath tbh

[@GodBear97]

If you know you can do this to your friend, and still be friends right after, you have a friend for life

[@SingingSealRiana]

yeah, it was awesome and sam was totaly in for it!

[@EthalaRide]

Ashley describing Liam's hands is a dirty trick because *God Damn those hands*

[@GodBear97]

I love Taliesin just nodding as she does

[@Awes0m3n3s5]

Daddy O'Brien

[@acetraineraster5171]

"So lesbi-honest, polls are meant to be ridden" She really *invoked* Yasha and I'm so here for it

[@johnymey4034]

YES, this one got lost under laughs, but riding the polls was a great dirty pun.

[@sybariticcupboardrat3763]

That speech sounded just soooooooo Brian. His writing ability combined with Ashley's delivery... they knocked it out of the park.

[@joeleckel5139]

I've wondered if Brian helped her write this - this sounds like Brian

[@sybariticcupboardrat3763]

@@joeleckel5139 If I'm remembering correctly, I'm pretty sure I did watch a Talks Machina episode where they said something about him writing/co-writing it. Well, even if I hallucinated that, I'd still bet a lot of money that Brian had a hand in that speech.

[@dig8634]

@@sybariticcupboardrat3763 That did indeed happen. She wasn't sure how to start a roast, so she asked Brian for help. Doesn't make it any less funny if you ask me

[@annenixda4800]

I was going to comment that they definitely brain-stormed this together. Brian's humour is scathing but I'm sure Ashley can match him perfectly.

[@saphViper]

@@annenixda4800 u could said brian-storming it was right there!!

[@jennycomelately]

Liam looking smugly pleased with himself as he realized Ashley won him the whole thing.

[@theouterlimits7788]

Ashly Johnson finally used it. PowerWord: Kill

[@eagleandy1]

Lesbi-honest

[@frankholland3025]

poles were meant to be ridden.....lmao

[@tomaszskowronski1406]

@@frankholland3025 As a Pole- i confirm.

[@squattingheads]

Maybe the language barrier but I don’t get it. She smuggled the word lesbian in there...what so funny about that? Or the reason?

[@eagleandy1]

@@squattingheads the reason is Ashley is making a word pun, using a word that sounds similar ti a part of another word

[@Hunterfalke]

@@squattingheads Late answer, but this part is basically just the build up to the "polls/poles are meant to be ridden" execution.

[@TheSilverPhoenix100]

So Ashley needs to roll a bard next character casue thats some good vicious mockery

[@dudemcfurgusson7179]

If talks machina is to be believed, brian w. foster wrote that eulogy. If there was ever a time to finally replace Orion, i think it's about time we harvest that particular cabbage patch.

[@TheSilverPhoenix100]

@@dudemcfurgusson7179 Dude id love to see Bryan become part of the full cast, ill admit he rubbed me the wrong way at first but hes seriously grown on me and id love to see him join

[@deffdefying4803]

@@TheSilverPhoenix100 Honestly same, at first I thought he actually had nothing to do with Critical Role and was just a cheesy af presenter for the live shows (my first actual CritRole video was a live show recording) but he's definitely grown on me I stan one cabbage patch kid

[@DaveJ188]

@@deffdefying4803 same with me too, I was pretty late getting into CR and had no idea who this goof Bryan was until I started watching Talks. His wit and timing are fantastic and he's a great host and interviewer.

[@arancourt5623]

Like #666. Lol

[@Wilkanas]

I love how much the donkeyface-joke hit Laura.

[@whitestoneandy797]

Tal saying "equal time" to Sam and Sam just immediately stop talking is the funniest thing

[@mr.stoneface7699]

Hot take: Ashley should play a bard who does all her magic with insult comedy.

[@unlimited971]

Yas

[@ripple-effect-mlp]

Vicious Mockery after Vicious Mockery, and I can't tell which one was the 9th level casting!

[@charliescheirmann2926]

0:21 Taliesin: "Equal time!" Sam: "Yes sir..."

[@caseygray2328]

Sam's response to hearing Ashley entering the election is perfect "that's cheating"

[@nathanielranney9163]

Goddamm Ashley.

[@devinhagedorn7315]

Confident, cocky Ashley is best Ashley

[@dirkboch128]

This. And we don't get enough of the best. Fearne in CR3 is not this, unfortunatly. But we need this badly. She needs to bring this as a character to the table. It's a must. Would bring me back to CR.

[@queengoblin]

@@dirkboch128 You can stay where you are, we love Fearne

[@queengoblin]

@@dirkboch128 Also, Fearne IS confident and cocky, in an maniacal, and chaotic fae way. She's hilarious and Ashley is a genius.

[@dirkboch128]

@@queengoblin Nah, she's just very very dumb ;)

[@MeonLights]

Everyone mentions the burn against Sam but Arsequeef got CALLED OUT whoah.

[@armedwombat6816]

And who was that again?

[@MeonLights]

@@armedwombat6816 A twitter user they befriended because of their great messages for Talks Machina

[@JustAQNow]

I'm still in recovery

[@jpumbaa1]

Yeah, I think your days may be numbered, Arsequeef

[@blackvial]

@@JustAQNow how much burn cream did you go through after that roasting?

[@allisonwilliams958]

2:25 cut to Liam who is just looking at the camera smugly

[@irishawthorne7784]

“…or someone with hands so seasoned and robust you both imagine them tucking you in at night and strangling your enemies at the same time.” Well with hands like that Liam’s won me over

[@EyebrowsGaming]

Taliesin with his hand to his throat staring into our souls like "Yes, those hands can."

[@jackdog06]

“To say I’m honoured would be an understatement of my own achievements so I’ll just say ‘you’re welcome’”

[@queengoblin]

This has 69 likes and I don't want to fuck that up, so I'll just give you a comment

[@Kr8ZBot]

"...a donkey wearing a Jeff Goldblum mask..." Best roast ever...period

[@MaverickJackJohnson]

"MY GAWD STOP THE DAMN MATCH THAT MAN HAS A FAMILY!!"

[@mattbriddell9246]

"As god is my witness, he is broken I'm half!"

[@radioface4997]

~_Dayum_~, looks like Ashely rolled a Nat20 on her Charisma! I'll be #VotingWithMyJohnson for sure.

[@StrayKittenLove]

Or you rolled a natural one on your insight.

[@StrayKittenLove]

@@radioface4997 @Radio Face Mine was a joke too. I have ZERO idea why you're upset‽ I legit thought my comment was funny. Oh well, *make some insignificant child shit themself because a joke went over their head.* [✓]

[@robertwallace5288]

Woe woe woe here, no need to get bitter about it guys.

[@radioface4997]

@@robertwallace5288 This is days old by now... I certainly have no interest in a pointless argument

[@katem488]

I love the silent exchange at 0:41 Laura: Did you know about this? Sam: No!

[@queensalmon4905]

2:31 Taliesin's fucking double take I can't that was so fucking good 😂😂

[@seraphinaedan1033]

I don’t what’s better, Sam’s absolute panic, or Talisen and Laura LOSING IT

[@arancourt5623]

I love that when Ashley drops the Lesbi-honest, Tal does a doubletake with that caduceus clay ™ stoner smile.

[@nik700]

Ashley pointing backwards when she says "Liam and myself" always gets me

[@arancourt5623]

Then the look of consideration that Taliesin gives, but then shrugs like "I'll allow it"

[@JasperForge]

Ashley Casts Roast, It's a critical it No amount of Fire Resistance could save Sam

[@Andy-iq6rk]

And I thought Percy had no mercy but Ashley just completely shot Sam down again and again.

[@samoclese6435]

I'm torn now. I was firmly in camp Arsequeef but O'Brien's just made a power play.

[@jnewman7]

Samoclese it is a difficult decision to make

[@caduceusdraws]

Can we talk about how smoothly Ashley put her jacket on 0:06 Im gay

[@meganray8002]

I shouldn’t have watched this while painting my nails.

[@TheMoniMonster]

A fabulous idea gone wrong as soon as you clicked the video.

[@darkspartan119]

When the Cleric has had enough of the Bard's shit.

[@cjvs1604]

I didn't know we were allowed to show murder on Twitch & KZbin.

[@DigiMike69420]

someone call the police i just witnessed a murder

[@Shornaal13]

"A donkey wearing a Jeff Goldblum mask" might be the most accurate depiction of Sam's face we will ever hear.

[@unvoicedapollo3318]

Comedy Central needs to take notes. THIS is how you do a roast.

[@JustaLuni]

Liam/Ashley for D an D beyond #votewithyourjohnson

[@charlessandison5740]

Even the immortal Tallesin has never seen a roast that vicious and powerful

[@butcherofblaviken7262]

A S H L E Y P L E A S E HE WAS ALREADY DEAD

[@thefinalfrontear]

sam's growing fear at each of ashley's words is really what makes this great

[@izzymartin9011]

“ what to you go home at night and watch madmen and pretend that’s how the world still is “ is the SICKEST burn

[@smileylover5031]

1:58 P A N I C

[@felipeparra551]

Ashley went NUCLEAR. ooooohmygod. 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@skylarwheeler4586]

2:35 lmao liam losing his shit and then realizing he's back on the screen

[@nbeutler1134]

Lmao I’ve watched this so many times and never caught that, thanks

[@otakugril67]

"This is cheating" Let's be honest Liam has already won

[@Quadraxis]

Definitely need Ashley to play a character with this amount of sass at some point.

[@MrPingn]

A large container of aloe was purchased after this moment.

[@paulbalfe3160]

Watching Taliesin's mood ring of a face is my favorite part of this.

[@devilsadvocate6381]

When the Bard gets Vicious mockery'd

[@dnagraceless6212]

I can't believe all his friends just sat their as Ashley murdered their friend

[@anonymousanimal5179]

I wish they didn’t only show half the table during these. I’d love to see the others’ reactions.

[@thechickenskeptic]

Ashley is just delivering everything so perfectly that Sam is just having an existential crisis and it's amazing

[@straypaws6339]

The pride in Liam's eyes is unmeasurable

[@joeleckel5139]

Maybe my favorite line on Critical Role, "looks like a donkey wearing a Jeff Goldblum mask"

[@joshuahicks7798]

When you cast vicious mockery at lvl 9. 😂😂😂

[@CountDigression]

I simultaneously wanna see him be roasted more and hug him and make sure he won't cry 😅

[@slipperyfish]

Roast?... ROAST, YOU SAY?!! Nay, says I! we watched a live cremation when this was being streamed live!

[@ostegonation]

Still more civil than the 2016 race.

[@alexanderwilkins222]

God I love moments like this. Taliesin is just tomato red in the thumbnail, has to be worth the watch

[@tsnap4]

Sam, that feeling is the psychic damage from Vicious Mockery

[@Joshua-yv2wg]

So whens the next episode of Critical Roast?

[@HailTheRegent]

I don't know whats better, Laura smiling ear to ear, or Taliesin going beet red

[@jpereda97]

Ashley just got added to the list of CR beloved characters who have thoroughly roasted their close ones

[@JadedKid47]

Right behind Caleb Widogast?

[@johnsauer8274]

ashley uses vicious mockery Sam: rolls a natural one

[@starryskies9655]

Seeing this makes me even more sad that they ended up in a tie, because Ashley’s speech/roast should’ve unequivocally secured the win for Liam.

[@diamaf]

But... It's only because Liam won and then chose to share the presidency with his work husband.

[@takashiross8553]

Ashley: I would like to out bard the bard. Matt: Roll me a persuasion check. Ashley: Natural 20…

[@SpiderandMosquito]

Gwen, Tennyson just rhetorically assassinated Donatello and I'm weirdly here for it XD

[@JeffreyGardner89]

Hello 911 I would like to report multiple murders of the same man

[@thornlings]

I can't tell if Ashley and BWF are one of those couples who are so in sync that they start to sound alike or if he wrote this speech but you can practically hear his voice overlapping hers.

[@walkerdevin08]

Probably both

[@Ross_mo]

I think people tend to underestimate Ashley's sense of humour. I've heard multiple cast members say that she is the funniest of them. And it makes sense that Bwf's partner would have a sense of honour as wicked as his

[@musing_wdb]

well..

[@adreahvonkat5705]

I love the uncomfortable chasm of silence after Sam being called out for being an alcoholic. No one expected that!

[@gossymer.]

I did not expect that. It burned so good. Ashley Johnson, y'all.

[@alexryll9237]

Ashley is not a rapper but she ended that mans whole career!

[@Har1eywood]

The one dislike is Sam

[@Ophio117]

That speech has Brian Foster all over it

[@redplaysgames719]

that may be the fastest i've ever seen taliesin go that shade of pink from laughing so hard.

[@ironrose6]

"Poles are meant to be ridden" hahahaha I'm dead

[@RichardTruth123]

Oh man. Sam is quite a sensitive fellow behind that huge smile hope he is ok

[@napdragon7324]

Screw Liam, I’m voting #AshleyJohnson for president of D&DBeyond!

[@druid_zephyrus]

I was team Sam for the whole time. Now I am torn! I have always #votewithmyjohnson

[@antonymilne1346]

"Hello 999? Yes I would like to report that one person has been murdered several times? Yes the murderer was Ashley Johnson how could you tell already?"

[@vision_walker]

Sam was amazed, appalled, and impressed all at the same time

[@thegoblet151]

You can practically see the gears turning in sams maniacal brain on how he will destroy her in the future.

[@todddwyer3738]

I usually skip the intros, but this has me rethinking that. Hilarious!

[@evalynn1863]

This is probably the sickest burn that will ever exist. I've watched this so many times and I still lose my shit, it is so funny. Gods I've missed Ashley.

[@orionhammerfall1874]

Opens with: "A donkey wearing a Jeff Goldblum mask" Ends with: "Vote with your Johnson" Holy shit

[@h0lly_blue]

1:36 "they're very soft" - Taliesin Axelrod Jaffe 2019

[@kafnfriends]

I come back to watch this at least once a month and it’s amazing every single time lmao

[@cjgibbsey]

Donkey with a Jeff Goldblum mask has to be one of the best insults, and i can sort of see it.