The Sad Truth About Marriage in Japan

[@EsquivadorDePala]

Great explaination. Maybe an extra video of the "family registry" system would be great. I have already seen this subject in several manga but I couldn't really understand its depth and implications

[@LeCatte]

Yeah.. the family registry system is... another 15 - 20 min video. Its complicated, ethnocentric, and patriarchic all at the same time

[@salvie777]

yesss i want to learn more !

[@LadyVineXIII]

I keep hearing that it is super complicated and restrictive so I'm definitely interested in hearing about it.

[@noeleen5250]

Yeah, just started listening to Japanese dramas and the family register is fascinating ( I'm in Ireland)

[@Dara-po3dd]

he's almost at 1 million guys! let's keep on sharing, liking and bringing on more new interested viewers!

[@thepatriot47]

I got a gf thanks to his videos

[@USSAnimeNCC-]

Whooooo ooooh for Shogo

[@KG-fw5wk]

As a Hawaiian-Japanese biracial person raised in Hawaii and now living in Tokyo, I can honestly say that Japan seriously needs to get with the times. Women in Polynesian culture are equal to men, and in many instances are even more powerful. My mother is the head of my clan in Hawai’i. The men on the Japanese side of my family are shocked to see a woman leading a huge family and they to remind my mother her place when in Japan. My mother retorts by asking if they were born from the womb of a man. She likes to tell them that because they don’t know how to treat women equal, and Japanese women are turning away from the unbalanced domestic married life so that they can pursue economic opportunity. The collapse of the Japanese population and society is due to the policies of men.

[@thepatriot47]

Huge respect to your mom......we need more women like her especially in my country....

[@missplainjane3905]

Both genders are equal but they have also have different roles.

[@KG-fw5wk]

@@samuraijosh1595 Such a misogynistic comment. If women are doing “nothing,” then why are these men being fed three square meals a day, coming home to a clean house with the bath ready, the kids being taken cared of, laundry done, etc. You really think the Japanese women are doing nothing? I pity the woman who marries you.

[@samuraijosh1595]

@@KG-fw5wk Japanese women do a LOT, definitely much more than your average Western woman. But it still fades in comparison to your average Japanese husband who is unilaterally responsible for the finances of the House. So many Japanese women, after finishing college, willingly become housewives because the Japanese work culture is honestly very intimidating. Also, since the past 10 years or so, Japanese men split household chores 50/50 despite contributing 100% financially. And what you're saying doesn't happen in every household. Not every Japanese household has a woman who's the perfect housewife, but every Japanese household has a perfect working husband who has to bring in the money. Now that's actually cruel and unfair. In multiple surveys, Japanese women (around >75%) said a man's income is the number one priority while dating.

[@darrelsteinberg4127]

"Women suffer more from Japanese marriage" Says the person looking down on the men who work 80+ hour work weeks and rarely get to see their kids. Get off your high horse.

[@manueldejesusrojassandi3919]

With the aging population, I guess it's going to be hard to change it for a while. I am from Costa Rica, and in Latin America by tradition, marriages don't change their last names. The children then inherit the first last name of both parents (everyone has two last names).

[@WinterFogFilms]

This is really interesting! If everyone has two last names, how does a couple decide which last name their kids will have?

[@pantherausf.d6914]

@@WinterFogFilms They have both.

[@neonmushroooms2339]

@@WinterFogFilms they have the first last names of each parent

[@WinterFogFilms]

@@neonmushroooms2339 thank you!

[@tbppuglia]

"In Latin America" would be incorrect. You mean in Spanish America. In the Portuguese portion of Latin America, women are very much expected to take their husband's last name.

[@mediumsofexpression7173]

We have a similar system in some states in India but the woman is expected to change her first name and the surname. Literally giving up her existence and identity completely. The so called "elders" say it is done to ensure the husband's life is improved. It's insane how it is still being practiced.

[@LoneWulf278]

Yeah, that sucks.

[@mizenk.4432]

Most importantly, it is not compulsory to change the surname after marriage under the law but y'know our society. And why tf change the first name ?

[@epifanny]

That's shocking...

[@nikolatesla7077]

Yo I'm Indian I didn't even know where is this happening

[@mediumsofexpression7173]

@@nikolatesla7077 you need to see more parts of your own country. Happens in Maharashtra, Gujarat, Rajasthan and some parts of Punjab too. I have a cousin who got a different name after marriage. I used to think they were 2 different people till I was 10 😂

[@lashamartashvili]

This is a very characteristic case of the traditional society, which readily defends "traditions" which were acquired yesterday and contradicts its real millenia-long lasting traditions. I know it very well because I come from the same kind of country. The biggest contributors to this terrible phenomenon are ignorance and personal mental traits that develop in such societies.

[@Alexandra-ng1ih]

“Tradition” just means men get to dictate everyone.

[@SvengelskaBlondie]

@@Alexandra-ng1ih Don't assume that just having women in positions of power will magically make things better.

[@lashamartashvili]

There are such ones too, but I speak in more general sense. Traditionalists make "traditions" out of everything. Men wanting to dictate everyone are in all kinds of societies and not necessarily a product of traditionalism. Traditionalism is much worse in many senses.

[@sevenproxies4255]

I think tradition is important. However, the traditions you maintain should be ones that actually tell a story of the history of your country and society so that future generations can get a grasp of where they come from. This "tradition" is really narrow in scope and do not really explain much about the culture at all. And also, i'm not sure it can even be called "traditional" since it's just about a century old, and actually went AGAINST the actual traditions of Japanese society. So I don't think that Japanese culture and tradition would be impacted or forgotten if these laws were abolished.

[@fenixchief7]

@@Alexandra-ng1ih yes, because we all know there are no matriarchal traditions...

[@SuperDrPancho]

Here's a mexican idea for japan. Use both surnames, one after another, first from the father, last from the mother, (or viceversa, depending on Moral ideas of the couple)

[@SuperDrPancho]

Let me explain: my mother was "María Sanz Hernandez" became "María Sanz de Gali" (from Gali, my father's last name) "de Gali" last name implies that she is her wife, and true man are proud to have a wife.

[@scottgrohs5940]

Isn’t that just for the children though?

[@ahillmann]

Japan could also choose from any of the other options around the world which give far more freedom than the Mexican system. In my country a couple can take the either partner's name, or a double name (like in Mexico), or choose a new surname, or take both last names of the partners and smash them together into a completely new name. So in the last case, if one is called for example Young, and the other is called Blackbourne, they could mix them into Youngbourne.

[@Randomdudefromtheinternet]

@@scottgrohs5940 Just for married women, the Hernandez is her bachelorette last name. Although this can vary, my mother still goes by her family last name (my father is Rangel, and my mother is Cruz, she still refers herself as Cruz)

[@KendallM0219]

@@_rymak_2044 it will be perfectly long enough

[@hypercube8735]

The "diminishing a sense of family unity" argument is absolutely silly. I grew up in a family where my mother kept her surname (and my siblings and I have both of our parents' surnames), and all it's done is increased our feeling of being part of *both* our mother's and father's families. It's not like there's a finite amount of "belonging" to go around.

[@moralityisnotsubjective5]

My thought was that it's not like a family will love each other any less because they don't share the same name.

[@Arcessitor]

@@moralityisnotsubjective5 Itr's amazing you're so desperate to not share a name with those you love. Oh yeah, I would love to not have my parents name, or grandparents name. I wanna be named Pipi Longbottom. That's why I signed this marriage certificate.

[@bgranger_842]

Spaniards take both the mother's and the father's surnames. As a Spaniard, i feel omitting my mother surname when i register my name somewhere would incredibly disrespectful.

[@Quentin94]

Your dad is a simp for allowing your mom to keep her surname.

[@makikomaaki]

I had no idea surnames could imply so much discrimination, double standards and social issues. I came in expecting to hear about stuff like the infamous in-law conflicts from the title. You really do learn something new everyday--thank you, Shogo-san. Incidentally, my parents AND myself all have different surnames because of a jumble of reasons including paperwork complications, so....reverse uno card?

[@alihorda]

"Japan is the only country in the world with such an outdated law", sadly this is said too many times

[@caspianbchalphy]

I don’t know if it is the only country with that law in the world. Probably the only first world country with that law but even then I don’t know.

[@pantherausf.d6914]

Sadly? I mean, marriage is an union of families, not a present or a title.

[@charlito_gk3880]

That's the same case in France. So I'm not choked at all.

[@cyrilmarasigan7108]

In my country too. But that change and it's up to the female population IF they want to change it or not.

[@thepatriot47]

Hahah....talk about india's laws....way too old

[@sevenproxies4255]

I find it ironic that the practice of surnames and iye in the past really seem to show that Japan was quite centered around individual businesses in the form of family businesses as an accepted and standard source of income. Whereas today, entrepeneurs who want to be self employed and start family businesses of their own are treated with a lot of skepticism by mainstream japanese society. Today, instead, society expects you to work as an employee, prefarably for the same company for decades. It ia such a huge contrast in mindsets to me.

[@bocahdongo7769]

I'll blame the economic downturn after bubble burst. Yes, it's surprisingly pretty recently As shogo said, it's already 30 years after that and still no hope to get up again.

[@RainbowMuse2]

Standing against toxic social realities takes a lot of courage and integrity, especially in a society so full of heavy social pressure. Bravo Shogo.

[@E4Alabbasy]

Coming from a country where it's traditional to keep the family names unchanged after marriage, that point of the different names divides the family sounds silly. I actually feel my family is even larger and more united as my mother kept her family name, so I feel closer to both my father's and mother's side of the family.

[@hoathanatos6179]

Well some cultures see the man or woman as leaving their birth family when they marry and thus their identity becomes that of the other. This also often eliminates the taboo of marrying a member of that other family since they are no longer culturally related to you, even if they biologically are. To many of us this probably comes off as wacky and a bit dangerous because of the potential lack of genetic diversity in marrying close relatives and the disorders that can arise from it.

[@rosemaryani6489]

As an African, it actually hit me as a pleasant surprise when I realized that in most Asian countries, the woman keeps her family name. Taking a husband's surname is quite the norm here and people still regard women who keep their own names as 'odd' and 'too progressive'. I like my last name and would like to keep it if and when I do get married.

[@apopuffkin1717]

It's funny how humans tie themselves up in chains made of the opinions of others. Life is so much more free when you don't care about the opinions of the community.

[@fenixchief7]

@@apopuffkin1717 probably because humans are communal beings. Most people seek conformity even if its not to their liking and when that stops, society collapses. Here's a decent question neither of you probably thought of... if you have kids, who's name should the child take? Seems like having the same family name might make that easy.

[@magnarcreed3801]

@@fenixchief7 Welp it’s easy peasy. If I get together permanently with someone and we want to change names we can hyphen them or make a new one. Then the kids can have that. If no combination or change is made they’d get whoever birthed them (incase I end up with another woman and she goes through the birth), if adopted I’d let them choose to either keep theirs, take one of ours, or pick their own. Not that hard, just has options.

[@LoneWulf278]

@@magnarcreed3801 Exactly. The obsession with “tradition” is silly.

[@kellharris2491]

@@fenixchief7 well many polynesian families hey both. For several generations. They have huge names. Many Hispanics keep their last name to.

[@badateverything5392]

One thing form the western perspective. It takes a day, maybe two, to change your documents in the UK, because you can do it over the phone or online, Japan is a paper society and it takes HOURS to to anything in any institution. It took me ten minuets to close my bank account in the UK, it took three hours in Japan.

[@badateverything5392]

@@missplainjane3905 I used to, I left during the pandemic :(

[@badateverything5392]

@@missplainjane3905 No, but I was with someone who was (the time was spent sitting to one side, waiting for them to get approval from the higher-ups). I was there for a year.

[@Spencer-wc6ew]

You can do that over the phone in the UK? Now I'm wondering if the UK is the exception or if the US just the worst western country at this. When I got my first id (not license, just a photo id), it took me like 5 hours. The line to the building was so long that, despite getting there an hour before it opened, I was afraid I would not get inside the building before it closed. I think it was 3 hours after they opened before I got inside

[@A-Wa]

omg Im thinking about german bureaucracy where you have to wait weeks to get an appointment for official papers before starting to change the name at the bank, drivers license and so on

[@maritk983]

"family unity" is one of the reasons why i love hyphenating names as an option, just like giving both last names to children.

[@manxiefeathermoon9888]

It doesn't erase the woman's identity. Why is it that the mother only give the father's surname when she was the one who birthed the child?

[@a.d.i.1810]

This is not only in Japan, but also in India, among all religious groups. It isn't a law, but is a culturally accepted thing

[@bhavyjyotisharma3642]

Yeah, but it's a little bit different as in Japan both men and women are free to take husband's or wife's surname but in India, it has to be a woman only who will change her surname in any case unless the couple belongs to Matrilineal tribes of India.

[@a.d.i.1810]

@@bhavyjyotisharma3642 Japanese are also free legally, but culturally husband's name is accepted. Similar to India

[@bhavyjyotisharma3642]

@@a.d.i.1810 yeah even in India it is free but here even culturally men won't take wife's surname but only women would whereas in Japan at least 4% of men take wife's surname. If the percentage of men changing their surname even grows to even that much, it will be a huge moment for gender equality tbh. So in that way it is different from Japan, otherwise yes it is similar

[@missplainjane3905]

@@bhavyjyotisharma3642 Majority of women still take on their husband's surname. That's just the natural order of things.

[@bhavyjyotisharma3642]

@@missplainjane3905 No, in Japan most women taking husband's surname shows that women are expected more to do it. But if you talk about India, there is no choice or you can say that no one even thinks that even a man can take his wife's surname. It is always somehow assumed that a woman has to take her husband's surname. Even now when some women don't want to leave their surname they take both their and their husband's sunames. But I don't think it is even in the mindset of 1% people that even if men takes their wife's surnames, the couple will still have same surnames.

[@sevenproxies4255]

It feels really nice when you invite the viewers to present their opinions in the comment section. While Japan has problems, it is still, as far as i'm concerned, a culture that I respect. So when talking about social problems in Japan, it kind of makes you feel like you don't want to impose your foreign views too much sometimes. So it's reassuring to know that outside opinions are being welcome too.

[@missplainjane3905]

You visited ?

[@sandralison7584]

What do you mean foregin? He is japanese himself!

[@madarasamanta2494]

Okay on a little bit up beat note, may I say that Harumi and Shogo @10:59 both look cute, happy and like a teenagers? and still look great together. I wish all the best for both of you and kids! 💖

[@Ashley-vs8nu]

You're crushing your goals, it's only a matter of time before you reach 1million. Rooting for you Shogo!

[@crystalrose7921]

I married, and my husband never once spoke about me changing my name. He is born in south america, El salvador, i am born in the united states. Married for 21 years and i still have my father's surname. And i asked my husband recently how he feels about it. He simply said, your name does not make you my wife., if keeping your birth name makes you happy, then I'm happy. And i realized it's probably because hispanic countries tradition is the children have both mother's and father's name. So he carries his mother's and father's names. But to be honest i was just too lazy, the hassel of changing my name seemed to bothersome!! I kept thinking i would do it.... but 20 years later, i have given up even pretending now!

[@augustuslunasol10thapostle]

It's a tradition in almost all Spanish influenced countries (which include the Asian ones) where in some shape or form the child has the mother and father's surname sometimes the mothers original surname is turned into a middle name

[@kolli7150]

From all I have learned about the female role in Japanese society so far, this video does not astound me anymore... :/ To be honest, if I had daughters I would not like to raise them within the Japanese society. Although in my home country there are gender equality issues as well, I think my future children still have much better future perspectives here compared to Japan. That is one of the main reasons I would love to spend a period of time in Japan for work or study purposes but not really consider living in Japan long term in my life.... Shogo, do you ever doubt you can raise your own daughters to strong and independent, smart women given the current circumstances in Japan? What I mean is, the way you are bringing up your children is just one part, the society and our surrounding has a huge impact as well. Is this one of the reasons you have started this channel? I still hope so much your content reaches lots of Japanese people as well so you can have an impact on changing the Japanese society to the better for future generations.

[@ThestuffthatSaralikes]

This was amazing- thank you!! I love to learn new things about other cultures and their traditions but I LOVE learning about the “why?” of a tradition or practice. FYI- changing my name when I got married was such a pain I didn’t bother to change it back when we got divorced..fr.

[@porkchopsammies79]

I refuse to adjust playback speed! It's refreshing to hear your English as it's not fractured like so many whom have spoken it their entire lives. I've come across very few errors in your grammar and pronunciation. Thank you for your content. I love your channel. Cheers from Virginia!

[@alexcortes4892]

They could implement the Spanish system of composite surnames, made from the first surname of each parent. It keeps the parents identities and family history intact while creating a family identity for the children as descendants of both their parents. It also helps to differentiate between siblings households, ie: Brothers Jhon and Jack Johnson wouldn't be both in "The Johnsons" when they get married, but instead, "The Johnson-Smiths" and "The Johnson-Parkers".

[@missplainjane3905]

Different language different system I guess.

[@hellbunniez3]

this would be terrible if it’s in kanji/hiragana though, especially those people with first names written in katakana. incredibly long, and incredibly tedious for documents and papers in japan.

[@callak_9974]

What happens when their kids get married? The "Johnson-Smith-Brown-Jacksons" or something? If that's true, it gets really, really messy at the 3rd generation.

[@SemekiIzuio]

@@callak_9974 no you get to decide to keep one of your two last names and combined with a new one

[@bobcharlie2337]

@@callak_9974 That's ez, the last name of the mother's house gets passes down. It's like this. Kid's first name> middle name> mother's maiden name (house name) > father's last name. We all get two last names. But it keeps track of the generations. And sounds cool. XD Btw. When the girl grows up and gets married. She adds the name of her husband to her two lasts names. But you can always choose the names you officially use. Most wife's choose the husband's name. But can use her other names for her own stuff.

[@霧谷]

I think male domination is very common all over the world, not just only in Japan.

[@britknee3019]

Definitely in the East, in the west it is the opposite.

[@zivkovicable]

@@britknee3019 Are you a Brit? Only 35% of MP's in Parliament are women & only 8% of company CEO's in the UK, which is still an all time high. So now explain to me how women dominate men.. Seems to me that men still set the rules.What's your evidence?

[@Fox2000xx]

Yeah and male domination have different forms in every culture.

[@britknee3019]

@@zivkovicable I'm not British. I mean more in a societal placement the west values women more I can't deny the amounts of people in the government but 65% is hardly dominating (then again I dont know how British political systems work). I guess I misread the original comment.

[@TuAmigoElMorrocoy]

@@britknee3019 women arent really dominating in the west. They are simply just minding their own business and men just see that as "opression" . Its a fairly recent change and I guess western men are still having a hard time adapting to it and for them it feels like oppression, literally whenever i see MRA videos about how subjugated men are, its just complaining about women having individual freedom and not having to marry them, cook, clean and have their babies. Men still control most governmental institutions and most corporations which is where the real power is. But women do have a lot of individual power too, more than anywhere else in the world. You can live your life independently as a woman, free of men in the west, and no one will bat an eye.

[@baloliabarwald8916]

Hi Shogo and community, I'm from Germany and a wife taking the surname of her husband sounds pretty normal to me. Eventhough it's not been a law for nearly 3 decades now, I don't know any married couple who did it differently personally. So your statistics made me curious how the situation is in my country and I looked it up. The percentages of the available options are (data from 2018, but I guess not much changed): 1. wife takes husband's surname 74% 2. both keep their surnames 12% 3. double surnames 8% 4. husband takes wife's surname 6% So breaking free from tradition is not an easy or fast thing to do, most societies seem to love them. But getting rid of such restricting laws can be a first step in the right direction and I hope Japan does that soon :)

[@strega1810]

I agree. I am from Austria 🇦🇹 and we have same tradition as in Germany. But for example in Italy or Switzerland man and woman keep their own family names. In France you take the name of your husband. Shogo you say Japan is the only country left with this tradition. I don't agree in the US is the same....

[@vetaniellecalya1662]

Czech Republic and Slovakia here, and it's also very normal here.

[@irina-ty1336]

@@strega1810 hi ! I'm from France, and here women take regularly the surname of their husband when they marry, but it's more a tradition, and not a law. There is, like in Germany all the other possibility. But I think Shogo's point is in Japan, it's compulsory to change the surname of one person in the couple (the woman) ; contrairy to others coutries

[@petalchild]

@@strega1810 No. He said its the only country where its LEGALLY REQUIRED. He never said I the only country with that tradition.

[@eoghancasserly3626]

I think it's also a much bigger issue to have to change your name in Japan that it would be in Europe because everything is bloated with paperwork and it takes ages to fix things. Even things he lists like "having to change your credit card" would be simple in Europe.

[@markup6394]

Occasional viewer here, and let me tell you: its amazing how fast your channel grows :) Not so long ago it was "only" 100k, then 500k, and look where that number is now! Not suprising given your passion behind it all, but still - amazing! Congratulations, keep it up :)

[@chriskizziah4497]

I love your videos. I got married while living in Japan 23 years ago, and we discussed family names,but I didn’t get this deep into it. We ended up keeping our own names though. We applied to change her name but they said the paperwork wasn’t right and we were in the middle of visa applications. We just left it unchanged. I’m sure if we had stayed in Japan, we would have eventually had to make the change. If I could have stayed in Japan, I probably would have taken her name.

[@_zone7372]

I really like how you always go over your main points again at the end, it ensures viewers understand

[@Anna-fv2dw]

shogo u r really a legendary man...standing for the weak is what makes u really special ...........😀

[@Founderschannel123]

Its not standing for the weak but standing for those who are scared to speak out.

[@lilinectar29]

Why not both?

[@Anna-fv2dw]

@@Founderschannel123 sorry my bad😅

[@kawaiibrittanii]

My Mother had married twice and she had to change her name a total of 3 times. So when she remained divorced, she re-took on her first marriage name, because it is the same name my brother and I have, making paperwork easy for school and other important documents. The surname system is and has been outdated, and it is crazy to think that just 1 generation ago, that this was the only option for women, even in the US. Now, I have the option to keep my name, and if I do decide to marry, I'll have to have a conversation with my partner on what to do about the surname. Progress has been made, but we still have a long ways to go.

[@Paula-133]

This have me the chills. The system is so rigged against females. Men in Japan that truly care about women’s lives need to step up and help make a change. And I would like to hear more about the circumstances that effect women not having their business accomplishments acknowledged because of name changes and those who can not marry because of they inherited a surname that comes with a cooperation. All this has got to change.

[@samuraijosh1595]

No the system isn't rigged. 70% women in US and 74% women in Germany do the name changing _willingly._

[@apopuffkin1717]

@@samuraijosh1595 Just because alot of women do it doesn't mean other women shouldn't have the choice not to do it. What kind of logic is that?

[@samuraijosh1595]

@@apopuffkin1717 I'm trying to question the narrative that every woman who changes her name does it out of obligation. That's not true at all. I don't think the system in Japan is so designed that a married couple can't access any government and private services without the married woman changing her name to her husband's. If it's really the case that there's no choice but to change your name after marriage, then I hope the system is reformed and women are given a choice.

[@michaelshimoide2248]

Thanks!

[@langshu6446]

The Iye Group System reminds me a lot of medieval Europe, where the sudden importance of surnames for the common people led to many adopting their profession as such. It's why we have such Western surnames as Baker, Skinner, or Shoemaker. People with surnames like these likely descend from Europeans who practiced such trades.

[@MrTobi013]

If Japan is the world's leading aging society, then this is definitely the time the start rethinking things if this keeps up, it won't be long before the possibility of Japan necer having new generations. After all it is the women who birth the children and if certain rules that make them unhappy persist, then they're not going to want to have families, no matter how against tradition it is.

[@cottoncandykawaii2673]

the birth rates in all developed countries are plummeting, even hyper-liberal ones, not just Japan. More feminism does not equate to higher birth rates, if anything it's the total opposite

[@yddet4369]

@@cottoncandykawaii2673 Wages are stagnating and having a child is more expensive than ever nowadays, it has nothing to do with feminism.

[@MrTobi013]

@@cottoncandykawaii2673 I know this is happening everywhere at the moment. I didn't say more "power to you" for women would make things right, rather I'm saying that a little respect can go a long way. Who's to tell women anywhere that they're not feeling as if they're only here to have babies and keep home? Just showing a little respect and forgoing the fact that she's a women when it comes to her job and ambitions could be healthy for societies. I will gladly say the same thing for men...and in the end if it comes down to people just not wanting to have children because it's too expensive and a lot of things tend to be standing in the way of that happiness....then...we'll just have to see how things pan out I suppose.

[@cottoncandykawaii2673]

@@yddet4369 poor people had kids in the past and still do in countries not under modern Western influence

[@BigHenFor]

@@cottoncandykawaii2673 Yes, but they die earlier because of the poverty. So, tradition and neither what was thought as progress suit women or men. The only reason for women in developed countries to have less children, or to wait until older was to have more women enter the workforce, (and pay them less than men even today, whilst expecting them to continue doing the domestic duties and work full time.) So women suffer, and birth rates fall as wages for most workers in the developed countries fall behind what is needed to support a family. So, those who have children choose to pursue a career first, and have children later, if at all. So, the world is an imperfect place, and equality in western influenced societies are equal in law, but still unequal in practice. Rich or poor, it's still a man's world right now.

[@aglenrios]

In the US it is still common practice, though not required by law.

[@alihorda]

here you can take the husband's name, keep your own or add a 'né' at end of the husband's name along with using your birth name , up to you.

[@hexshadowman]

A friend of mine actually took his wife's name. Pleases me more than it should.

[@bhavyjyotisharma3642]

It is same in India too. The only difference is that men don't have to take their wife's surname as in Japan but women have toin any case. It's very rare for a wife to not change her surname after marriage.

[@missplainjane3905]

@@hexshadowman I think it should be the other way round.

[@kaplingnag7267]

@@missplainjane3905 well thats ur opinion

[@warwizard1309]

I think a clarification is in order. Even at the time Japan adopted this, it was not the norm for the western world. Rather, changing names when marrying was (and still is) a matter of politics/religion, and the Japanese politicians of the time were probably trying to ingratiate themselves with certain countries they thought were most beneficial to be aligned with (most likely, the United States). A big chunk of the "west" did not do it this way and even had laws preventing people from changing names. For people from cultures where this is not the norm, and are not aware that there are people who take the name of their spouse when marrying, have a very awkward moment when meeting married people from these other cultures, moments like "what? you married your cousin?" PS: well... at least you did not adopted circumcision

[@jdb6026]

Japan does have circumcision. It was sort of like a phase, though, and for different reasons. Mostly, I think, are either medical (I heard Japanese men are more prone to phimosis) and esthetic (for some reason). These days, I think things have changed, though.

[@gamer7916]

@@jdb6026 I remember someone saying how the Japanese are descended from ancient Jews who escaped from Babylonians and cited them having circumcision as one of the evidence.

[@jdb6026]

@@gamer7916 Isn't that...far-fetched? Idk...

[@a.r.bolton3995]

Once again, why I loathe the forcing of name change.

[@deutschesvaterlandfankanal]

I would protect tradition as long as it's true,freikorps voran-im geiste brennt.....

[@miscalotastuff733]

In the united states still does this as the norm. The most you get is the wife keeping her last name along with the husband on a legal document. She is still refered under the husbands surname. Very rarely do you see it otherwise.

[@youhaventgotaprayer]

In Sweden most couples want to share surname after marriage as a sense of belonging. Which name they choose is more based on how nice of a surname it is than what gender the beholder has. No one is forced to change names, but many couples want it. I think the same would happen in Japan, and there should be no fear from politicians that the so called tradition of same names should be completely lost.

[@eepyJay]

So close to that 1 million! You and the team deserve it!

[@Necrikus]

Once again evidence of how even a seemingly minor discrepancy of how one group of people are treated can easily breed discrimination. And also another point of evidence that many social issues stem simply from old people who think they know best. It's always unfortunate to hear things like this about places and cultures that I like, but it is important that these issues are brought into the spotlight and dissected the way you've done here.

[@xgkw4]

I take Japanese in school we watch your channel every Friday in class thanks for making these amazing videos 👍🏻👍🏻

[@lucielquinn6489]

Another interesting video, Shogo! I thought about it a little, and remembered that both men in my host family ( grandfather and father ) actually took on the women's last name ( Katsumata ), probably because both my grandmother's parents and herself only had daugters to inherit the family tennis club! Interesting to think they're a part of those 4%

[@kassyyar97]

You are so cool Shogo, even if you may suffer some repercussions you still speak up!

[@bigbevakaheavybevy7913]

You totally rock🤙🏾 Thank you for showing support women💪🏾❤🙏🏾

[@ladyshield]

Hey Shogo and team, I live in Canda. And all 3 options are available of your choosing. I really hope Japan can find there way of being more accepting to all.

[@MrsKastell]

As a woman I thank you for this.

[@callunya]

Wonderful video, thank you so much for sharing! I had no idea I hope to see them change this law one day!!!

[@horsewings3561]

Hearing about this different surname diminishing the family is interesting to me. Coming from someone who is adopted I now feel like I have many names. I just met my biological brothers last year. My adoptive family says I'm a "insert surname here" while one of my biological brothers says I'm a "insert surname here" and another brother says the same thing. It doesn't diminish the family, it just shows that I have even more branches on my family tree than I thought and makes me cherish them even more. The name doesn't really matter, family is family. Your family name shouldn't be a label, their your home, that place you always go back too when the rest of the world decides to turn its back on you.

[@jessicatovar5425]

Now I understand why my brother who is mexican, change his surname, he did it in order to make easiest for his wife and daugther... I really apppreciate all the info im getting from your channell, it helps me to understand better the culture of my new japanese family

[@MrDrummerDeluxe]

After watching this video I have even more respect for the married couple of Yoshihiro Togashi and Naoko Takeuchi who have different surnames and support the LGBTQIA+ Community.

[@abbyjackson5288]

I never fail to learn something new from your videos, thank you so much!

[@lunavarion]

"Japan is the only country where the husband and wife have the same surname." I never once heard of a situation where the husband and wife DON'T have the same surname, and I live in America.

[@Begam_chan]

I think he said that it is by law, in japan

[@lunavarion]

@@Begam_chan He also said Japan was being pressured to have both husband and wife have separate surnames like most other nations. I never heard of a single nation where husband and wife have different surnames, at least traditionally or as a common practice. Can you tell me of any?

[@Begam_chan]

@@lunavarion I think he said the *option* to have two different surnames like people from other countries can (where they can if they want or they don't), but in Japan it is a law to have same surname. But the many Japanese politicians think it will be compulsory to have different surnames if the law is taken away, disrupting their traditional ways. And there are few articles online which have a list of countries where surnames are different, by law or otherwise. In the articles countries like Korea, Belgium, France etc were written. Sorry if there has been any misunderstanding, English is not my primary language.

[@flood1417]

Thank you for all you share! ❤️

[@lizawinslow4773]

Shogo as always fantastic content! Thanks for sharing the ins and outs of Japanese culture🌈🌈

[@iancoker9251]

I'm glad that you take the time to go over relevant political issues in Japan

[@anotherloser2858]

I was wondering if you could talk about fostering and adoption in Japan. From my perspective of the information I've gathered about it, it's come off as somewhat problematic as children aren't often adopted to other families even if their parents are unfit to be parents.

[@Badger285]

TY, LOVE the history of many cultures. I find it interesting, the more different people seem, the more similar we are. Thank you again

[@ga14th_d05]

Should change your picture to "Let's hope we reach 2 million subscribers by Jan 2023" instead. You make really educational content, I wish you the best of luck.

[@oracledelta]

Can you do a video about what the process and perspective of adoption in Japan is like? I went down a bit of a rabbit hole researching about Japan’s adoption system just out of curiosity but most information I came across left me with more questions than answers. I would love to hear how you break down the system from both an official and societal point of view!

[@Crystalfeathers4]

When my brother got married in the US, he was coming from a family that had followed the tradition of taking the man's surname. In that instance, however, the couple decided to create a new surname together - by combining syllables from each of their old last names. It meant more paperwork, and more money, so neither could not afford to legally change it. But socially, friends and family referred to them by the combined surname. As a working professional, I plan on keeping my legal surname unchanged, and I find it very heartbreaking that women not only face social pressures but legal challenges as well in keeping their name and the credibility that comes with it. I think this kind of system would make it more difficult for me to be a career woman in Japan.

[@gothicfrc]

Amazing channel and very nice work!!! You are the person that makes me LOVE to visit Japan!

[@MelkorPT]

Wouldn't this be easily solved by allowing people to have _multiple_ names and surnames? In Portugal people by convention have 1 or 2 *_first names,_* followed by *_mother's last name_* and then *_father's last name._* So it's *_first_name > mother_family > father_family._* There is no legal obligation to change name upon marriage but women usually add the husband's last name and either drop or keep their mother's family name. It becomes either *_first_name > father_family > husband_family_* or *_first_name > mother_family > father_family > husband_family._* In total people have between 3 and 5 names but on a day to day basis you address friends and family by their first names and everyone else by their last family name (father's if you're a man, husband's if you're a woman).

[@deutschesvaterlandfankanal]

Too long,first name then middle name then surname,use the maiden name in the middle portion

[@jagagagaga]

This is a really great video, and thoroughly goes through the downsides to an outdated system. I wish your videos would get more attention, you are engaging and how this information is presented goes a long way in making it captivating and clear as possible. I wish you luck with your future endeavours and a wonderful year.

[@jvharbin8337]

Men and women are not equal and never will be. One is not better or worse than the other. Still we are quite different and not equal in many ways. Which I think is beautiful. If everyone was the same life would be boring.

[@ratlinggull2223]

This point has nothing to do with the video's contents.

[@jvharbin8337]

@@ratlinggull2223 Shogo states that he believes that a society/culture worth preserving is one that promotes the equality of men and women. That's why I made the point I made.

[@ratlinggull2223]

@@jvharbin8337 True, I might have misunderstood. It's likely it'll take a millenium before Japan sheds its skin. I don't believe in the country but little is better than none.

[@TheJunsLee]

I like the controversial topics. Thank you for introducing them

[@L-mo]

In Italy women do not generally take their husbands family name, although any kids usually do.

[@NTav540]

I love this channel. I learn so much and it is said in a simple and direct and informative way. Excellent.

[@peachcampanella]

I guarantee that many of the issues related to population in Japan would be reduced if women were treated better. Why would a woman be willing to marry and start a family if the whole process diminishes her?

[@peachcampanella]

It's like, "hi we treat you like garbage, now get pregnant!" no thanks!!

[@mrahzzz]

Shogo, you break down these complicated and sometimes divisive issues so logically and thoughtfully - I really appreciate that about your channel. This is interesting to me, because I think there are some similar attitudes in the US among some people. There's a deep fear about families not being what they once were, and the breakdown of the traditional family structure as a breakdown of society, so people are hesitant to accept people in committed, non-married, relationships, and assume that women will change to the surnames of their husbands if they are married to a man. If I ever get married, I'm not sure I'll change my surname - it seems complicated to choose a surname for any possible children if the parents don't share a surname, but the headache of paperwork for changing your name just for a tradition seems illogical and silly (especially when, as you say, it's a tradition that is not an important factor in relationship strength)- far worse than the issue of what surname to give any possible children...

[@PerfectPride]

I had no intentions of changing my last name after getting married for a few reasons. 1) my parents only had girls and my sister, who also didn’t change her name, doesn’t plan on having children. So in order to preserve our name, I want to be able to pass it on to my future children. 2) I grew up hating my last name cuz it’s part of an expression, an old cartoon characters name, and the name of a store where I live so I always heard the same annoying questions and comments regarding my last name. But as I’ve gotten older I’ve come to really like and cherish my last name and I don’t want to throw that all away. And 3) my husbands last name sucks. 😂 He said he was gonna take my last name cuz he also dislikes his last name but he’s too lazy to go through the paper work (dont blame him!) and he’s also a Jr. so it makes more sense for him to keep his name.

[@UnChannelDuVulpineX]

Spongebob?

[@dgg8843]

interesting, i've always thought it was normal once getting married. i know you don't have too where i live, but, i always thought it was sort of cute. never realized the other side of the conversation. thanks for sharing.

[@linhduong0809]

Vietnamese wives keep their surname. I always have problem traveling overseas with my son because our surnames are different.

[@novanppp]

Why is this an issue in japan? Taking your husbands last name here in america was a mark of pride. "This is MY husband". Why does a new name erase the old one as if it didn't happen? Some women here even keep the old name WITH the new one. I once knew a woman whos last name was smiley, she married a man with the last name Ball. Her last name is now smiley-ball. Her old life was never erased just because of a name change.

[@卑弥呼-f9b]

Well said and explained. I definitely agree! Me and my brother immediately after me have my mother’s surname, and the rest of my siblings have my father’s name since they were born after my parents married. My mother has both hers and my father’s surname. It is a laughable thought to think that something like this would divide us apart as a family.

[@VenetiaHall]

Love your content Shogo-san! 🥳 I teach English to Japanese students and I am really fascinated by your channel. I can relate more to my students and these social issues are great for english conversation practice. They always ask me why I know a lot about their country and I owe it to you! Thank you!

[@raaagdoll]

I have a child with my partner and we are not married. I chose my child to have his father's surname, just because I like his name more than mine. It's not too unusual and not a big thing here in Germany. 🇩🇪✌🏻

[@bakeranita6040]

I think what the video and the U.N. are talking about is the difficulties women/men go through in regard of paperwork. Essentially in the eyes of the law-the person who changes their name dies and becomes a new person. Which causes issues because their former relationships in terms of business, education, and respect get called into question. Making especially difficult if one decides to divorce.

[@Leffydht]

Shogo San i absolutely adore the music you play in the background it's sooooo calming

[@kaimobley5324]

LOSS OF BUSINESS ACCOMPLISHMENTS!? So your saying just bcus you change your last name the people you work with can be like "I don't know you, You Don't Know Me!"

[@shaunhall6834]

I admire the fact that you are talking about this.

[@timothysmcnamara5925]

Giving the wife the same surname meant she was part of the family. (Unlike, say, Korea, where father, children and grandparents all shared the same surname but the wife/mother was in a more precarious situation, more akin to a live-in maid.)

[@manxiefeathermoon9888]

Why doesn't the man take his wife's surname? The man's name isn't more important than the wife's name

[@timothysmcnamara5925]

@@manxiefeathermoon9888 it is allowed but it is also unmanly. You need to understand, Japan still aspires to be a feudal society in many ways: the Edo period is seen as the high point of culture by most Japanese, the important thing is to carry on the family name so men usually only give up their names when joining a richer family...

[@ryuukakhadijah7766]

I agree with you so much that many things need change for the sake of the people ❤️

[@meanjeanmcqueen6171]

That's muffed up. America has it's issues as well. My daughter and I have different surnames and I have always wanted to legally change mine to her's even though her Dad and I aren't together because even in 2022 I still sometimes get almost shamed for having a different surname. If I could afford the $180 to change my name, it would definitely be done.

[@akale2620]

Super confusing ma'am plz explain

[@meanjeanmcqueen6171]

@@akale2620 I'm not really sure what was confusing, sorry. My daughter and I have different last names and if I could afford the name change, I would absolutely do it. Back when her Dad and I were together, sometimes people, especially in the medical field for some reason, would kind of judge us for not being married. Like they would assume my last name was the same as his and my daughter's, then make a snarky noise or give a pointed look when I told them my last name.

[@akale2620]

@@meanjeanmcqueen6171 never married. I thought divorced.

[@onliwankannoli]

I knew a married man in Japan and was surprised to find that he did not have the same surname as his parents. Apparently his wife’s family considered themselves higher class than his family (though not necessarily wealthier), and made taking their family name a condition of allowing him to marry her. I would wager a significant portion of the 4 percent of men who take their wife’s surname had similar circumstances.

[@scuffed5887]

Hearing such an emancipated and forward-thinking opinion from a man was very surprising and I loved every second of it. Not just Japan but every other country is afraid of change, even if it's for the better.

[@iamhere7629]

Hello. I have been here and married since 1979. Not any problem. Sooooo happy .Now woman became stronger Japan.🤗

[@UtubeAW]

Not so different in the US I’m divorced and the federal bureaucrats won’t let me reassume my maiden name

[@ptiru0567]

Your videos are amazing! So educational and full of humor too!

[@DrMARDOC]

Most all Japanese people are extremely happy living outside of Japan! This is what all my Japanese friends say!

[@giseleleocadia]

I always learn a lot from your videos, thank you for all the effort you put to make them! They are so clear and easy to follow :)

[@vlakca009]

first i think love your vids

[@nightmare0xranmabloodedge122]

Very interesting. Great information as always!

[@PinaaaColaaa]

It's crazy how you sound like one of the sanest people who live in a country full of insane things. Then I realize I'm in that exact same boat. Edit: Also, my mom, my dad, and myself have all different surnames and we would always look after each other.

[@snowheart4077]

This is really intersting! To be honest, to compare, France is a country that gives the choice of surnames, so at first, I wasn't aware of this, whereas I'm a big fan of Japan But your video learned me a lot of things about this situation, this really is captivating!

[@damonguzman]

This seems like a waste of energy to think about. Most women I know like taking the name of their husband. I've never met a married couple in my life with different surnames, not even once.

[@Mishakeet]

its not just about taking a surname or not, its also about divorce and remarrying

[@Opal5674]

a chick I went to school with married a man who's last name was Pig

[@h666422]

This was a really cool video. This hits hard for me because in America even though it’s available it’s definitely harder for a man to take a womens last name… our married name was a large topic we had to deal with when we got married. We ended up keeping our pre marriage names and gave our kids both our last names. But I definitely think women should have the right to choose their own name.

[@OfficialCrumpdiddy]

No country is perfect. In fact every country I would imagine has a long list of things that drastically needs improvement. And as usual it stems down to politicians not listening to its people’s cry out for change or help.

[@BritishRail60062]

Thanks for covering this topic. I now understand why many of my friends rarely change their surname after marriage. Although I think a jointed surname could be viable as keeps both family names going. Something like Smith-Suzuki or Suzuki-Smith would keep both names alive if merged. Just my opinion. I respect the facts that Japan wants to keep its traditions and I respect that but a merged name could work. Oh and if you read this. Well done on the 1 million subscribers. Please keep up the great work.