The science of courage : 3 brain techniques to help you deal with fear and stress

[@yeseniarobles4289]

Growing up I remember I had a very strong personality. I was the youngest of 15 children and I would get picked on A LOT, my parents never really did anything so I had to learn to stand up for myself which is what helped me develop my strong self, I was fearless. Then I had children of my own and something inside me changed. I experienced fear, worry, despair, etc… I love my kids so much and the thought of anything bad happening to them terrified me. I became really anxious, constantly thinking of negative scenarios just to mentally prepare myself for things so I could prevent them. It damaged me psychologically and physiologically because I became depressed, almost suicidal and bedridden, and I could see my face changing reflecting what I felt inside. Then one day while having my usual internal monologue and presuming the worst my other side said “well if it happens, so what?” And it felt like a resolution, after that I decided that whatever intrusive thought I had I would release it by saying “well if it happens it happens and there is nothing that can be done but face it”. The anxiety no longer built up because it was always being released because every time the “what if” came it was always being answered with “it will be confronted if it happens”. My life changed, no longer depressed or anxious and even my body is healing. I actually feel like my old self , ready to confront the bully.

[@StefanieFaye]

Thank you so much for sharing that. What a profound and powerful shift that happened for you. And how fascinating that it was a shift and perspective and mindset about how, when, and your capacities to confront situations - rather than eliminating, or fearing all future challenges.. beautiful, thanks again for watching and sharing your personal wisdom!

[@RobChristensen]

I'm a mathematician teaching 8th grade math, and this is a perfect scenario for how people (especially in the United States), relate to mathematics vs. how they should relate to mathematics. Thank you!

[@StefanieFaye]

I love extending this idea to how people relate to maths! Thank you for that, Rob!

[@nataliejanewallace8376]

The way you can explain a process is incredible. It is neat to think about what you mention as ‘interpretation and reappraising as possibility that might not actually harm’ and if it’s unfamiliar this can mean there is an open new possibility for firing new circuits that can lead in the brain, instead of shutting down. Thank you for your time creating this video. *Loving the point in this video when you mention experience out weighing outcome 'nuggets of wisdom’

[@StefanieFaye]

Thank you Natalie! I feel excited about sharing these ideas because they are what have helped me approach challenges in my life with a sense of hope and excitement - even with nervousness and doubt alongside it! Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments 😊😊😊

[@mattrillie]

This is such a powerful, affirming way to approach difficult situation. I so appreciate how much you share!

[@StefanieFaye]

Thank you Matt!

[@karthikvempati3808]

Great work Ma'am. I enjoyed all the videos you have made on Growth Mindset which have been very helpful for me. I love the way you explain the concepts and the perspective you have chosen to explain those. Our brain is all we use to experience the world around us and deal with it and knowing from brain's perspective was indeed helpful.Keep up the good work Ma'am. This world needs more rational and scientific people like you. 😇

[@StefanieFaye]

Thank you Karthik! I really appreciate your encouraging comments 😁🥰

[@ar_sureshot4992]

Hi, thank you so much for this. This explains me so much. I’m struggling so much with my job, my relationship, my family and wanting to try new things. I’ve failed so many times trying new things it’s hard for me to want to continue to get out of my comfort zone. So thank you for this.

[@StefanieFaye]

You are so welcome! Sending you confident thoughts that you have what it takes to navigate what’s here in your current experience🌟

[@malakwaqas7749]

It is very helpful, i think they will work out to overcome my fears! Thanks for sharing amazing knowledge.

[@StefanieFaye]

Thank you Malak! I very much appreciate your encouragement. Sorry for the long delay in responding - I didn't see a whole list of comments until just now! I hope you get a chance to watch all my new videos coming out every week!

[@RazzoAratey]

That’s awesome!! I love matrix/Punit squares I feel like when things can get out into them it’s the beginning of tru understanding Thx for this

[@StefanieFaye]

I totally agree! thank you!

[@everythingcindy6352]

Excellent! I love this! I love that we can't guarantee the outcomes but learning to take something from the experience, regardless of the outcome will create growth. Thank you Ms. Faye ♥C!ndy

[@StefanieFaye]

Thank you Cindy! I’ve been applying thus in my own life - focusing on the experience more than outcomes, and it’s really helped me move towards taking risks and trying new things! Thank you for watching and for your comments!! 😊

[@StefanieFaye]

@Marianne I love that example of raising your hand... because you have persisted in doing that you've increased the chances of succeeding in saying what you really want to say and asking the questions you really want to know. And I love that you notice both the experience and your past successes!

[@saurthak]

Very well elaborated, useful

[@StefanieFaye]

Thank you for watching!

[@yourspaceforgrowth]

This was super helpful! Did you come up with the fear quadrant or is that an established concept (if the latter, who coined it?) Your title mentions "the science of..." Can you link to the studies that support these theories? I'm interested in reading more. Thank you!

[@StefanieFaye]

The quadrant is something I came up with and is based on many, many different theories - primarily emotion regulation theory, cognitive reappraisal, fear extinction theory. Some researchers include George Bonnano, James Gross, Bessel Van Der Kolk (somatic experiencing). This is from a while ago but here’s a couple papers on the reappraisal aspect. Also a recent Hidden Brain episode ‘Fear Less” covers this topic Gross, J. J. (1998b). The emerging field of emotion regulation: An integrative review. Rev. General Psychol. 2, 271-299. doi: 10.1037/1089-2680.2.3.271 CrossRef Full Text | Google Scholar Gross, J. J. (1998a). Antecedent- and response-focused emotion regulation: Divergent consequences for experience, expression, and physiology. J. Pers. Soc. Psychol. 74:224. doi: 10.1037/0022-3514.74.1.224 PubMed Abstract | CrossRef Full Text | Google Scholar Gross, J. J. (2014). Handbook of Emotion Regulation, Second Edn. New York, NY: The Guilford Press.

[@yourspaceforgrowth]

@@StefanieFayethank you so much for getting back to me quickly with the detailed information! I will be checking out these studies. 😊

[@StefanieFaye]

@@yourspaceforgrowth my pleasure!

[@StefanieFaye]

@@yourspaceforgrowth you may also like my podcast episode of self-regulation stefaniefaye.com/podcast/self-regulation-mnt-005/

[@troythackwray]

Wow! Really enjoyed this video. Thank you 😊

[@StefanieFaye]

Thank you Troy! I had fun making that video :-)

[@regocyrus]

Greetings Dr. Faye so this would apply to sparring in boxing and jujitsu as far as agency development if a person is uncomfortable with fighting or defending themselves in a physical confrontation possibly the more they spar, the more agengy is developed, the more confident and LESS anxious you become correct?

[@StefanieFaye]

yes, this builds a persons perceived ability to cope with stressful situations, and this can help lower anxiety