The Train Ride Home | SVA Thesis Film (2020)

A young woman and her father set out in hopes of catching up with each other. My final film from the School of Visual Arts (CAD). Hope you enjoy!
Art by Jessica Pon:
Instagram: / elacriy
Twitter: / elacriy
Music by Omar Habbak:
• "The Train Ride Home" ...

[@robertscott1949]

That big dark "X" circled on the calendar is revealed at the beginning after she closes the door. That and none of the days after it have anything notated. That is strongly suggestive that she planned on that being her last day. The fact that it comes into focus after the door closes is the animator's way of telling us that it is not just some random calendar, but is significant to the story. When you add that to the other hints already mentioned and it seems hard to avoid the conclusion that she did indeed intend to end her life. However the film leaves just enough ambiguity to keep us from being absolutely sure. That is a mark of excellent film making.

[@matheusp.c.]

You have a point!

[@kweebs5191]

in the end you see her heel stepping off the train floor meaning right before the film ends, she most likely does step off

[@blacky_Ninja]

It‘s not uncertain at all. She is literally seen taking a step over the safety line while the train is approaching. The only thing that could have saved her would‘ve been someone else grabbing her arm or something, but she 100% tried to take her life there.

[@mcrib9784]

And you can see all the sticky notes in her work office, one of them says “die! 03/24”

[@matejblaha4659]

@@blacky_Ninja At the very end, you can see her father and she is replying to his message. This suggests that she likely changed her mind at the last minute.

[@gammonprecast]

Glad that it had a happy ending. That "ding" after the dots on the phone shows that she didn't leap infront of the train but she read dad's msgs and replied to him hence the "ding"

[@-Persephone_Wannabe-]

One thing I like about this is the blank eyes. It gives the feeling that everyone, at least in her perspective, is soulless. Unkind, uncaring, unloving. Even her. Edit made 10/9/22: I've noticed something more! She says "This time he's nice" when talking to baba about someone she met, which to me seems to be an indication that she may be a victim of some kind of abuse from a past partner, which really just makes this whole animation so much sadder.

[@starzeit24]

Especially how eyes are the windows to the soul

[@LeanMeanAsianCuisine]

Or at least blind to the reality of how other people feel on the inside

[@dokkae6423]

@@starzeit24 right? there's absolutely no reflection, not even color. just a blank, colorless expanse.

[@aylex1974]

The way people lives in America

[@-Persephone_Wannabe-]

@@aylex1974 Yup, I'm in America, I get it lol Seriously though I didn't realize when I typed the OG comment how much I see the world like this

[@ilikeceral3]

Imagine how traumatic it would be to end up on the very train that your daughter leapt in front of. Horrible.

[@rebeloftheeast]

You know it's actually a fact, most people die not too far from their homes or family. I just read it somewhere the other day in an article.

[@StarLight-wd6nr]

I thought about it as well but I don't think it was like this because he would hear the drama of "someone threw themselves" and it will take his attention.

[@K_Crafts27]

@@rebeloftheeast Its because most people who end there lives want to be somewhere familiar its the same way for if someone is dyeing.

[@fish_pokalo1969]

@@rebeloftheeast Ohh When you say it, i think it's true. All of the suicides i know are like that.

[@neonice]

But she must've survived since she still types with him at the end there

[@kilarthmac]

I'm crying. This was so well made, how on the phone she's trying to reassure her dad that everything's okay when the images show otherwise. How the lighting for the girl is dark and gloomy but for the dad it's bright and hopeful. The detail of the calendar, hinting that she planned to do that from the beginning. The subtle imagery of s*lf h*rm where she feels like she's drowning all alone. The ambiguous ending where we don't know if she survived or not. This was incredible.

[@sagaedling195]

It’s so apparent that you see what’s relevant in your life in what you watch, but for me this is all about help being there. She’s planned this. She’s set on doing it. She’s there. She’s trying so hard not to let it show and not to be a burden on her beloved baba. But as a person who’s been suicidal I see other things too. The planning of a suicide is not only the last chance to “do something right” but also a last chance to change your mind. The time from when that X on the calendar was made until that train comes is the time for a sign. For anything that could tell her it’s worth still living. And when those dots turn up on her baba’s phone I breathed a sigh of relief, because I think that was it for her. An excuse to power through a little bit longer. A reason to keep on living. For me this film is about such a small thing as a visit or a kind word to someone you love could be the difference between life and death.

[@dummy____]

It took me two times to watch this video and read this comment to realise what do you actually mean. It's not Baba who needs a visit or a kind word. It's she.

[@daanstrik4293]

Yup, once you set everything in motion you go through with it in one swift motion. The fact that she replies at all means she’s alive, at least for today. Even if my reasoning was so very different from her, its weird to see such things still line up.

[@racquelloliver9455]

I love what you said ❤️ For myself, the book "A Life GOD Rewards" changed how I felt about suicide. The dot and arrow analogy in this book helped me to understand the mistaken belief that taking one's life is not the end...

[@Steve-op9sd]

It’s funny how her call starts and ends with a step.

[@onyx_alagasia]

I didn't realize that! It's a cool parallel.

[@T-Ko0]

Foreshadowing

[@koichimi8475]

@@T-Ko0 not really foreshadowing, just a parallel

[@-Persephone_Wannabe-]

IM GOING TO CRY WHY DID YOU WORD IT THIS WAY THAT HITS WAY HARDER THAN IF YOU JUST SAID IT PLAINLY

[@neonice]

@@-Persephone_Wannabe- She didn't commit that's why she still typed at the end

[@Witchywoods]

This needs to be talked about more. Saying your fine and not have to look at anyone when you say it. It’s so easy. When really, they don’t even know how much pressure your under and how your struggling to keep it down. Like when your under iced water. They can’t see you, but you can see them. This captured that perfectly.

[@KrackmcKitty]

"Anyways, sorry for everything..." That line broke my heart

[@draconikratosus]

Who the heck disliked this wonderfully fantastic animation?! It's so blinkin' good!

[@sisterdragonwithfeathers1654]

Sometimes (not often) I dislike things not because I think they’re bad, but because I clicked on them accidentally and don’t want more things like them recommended to me. Again, not because they’re bad, but just because they’re not my cup of tea. (I didn’t do it to this one, but other people might have)

[@draconikratosus]

@@sisterdragonwithfeathers1654 Okay, that's fair enough reason.

[@anonymoususer8502]

the ones that cried

[@aydenjacko5810]

Well... now KZbin really doesn't have a dislike button anymore... their only concerned with the likes

[@okw862]

@@aydenjacko5810 use an extention

[@ayesha_kamalie]

This is incredibly well made and so touching. It makes me realise how important it is to encourage your kids to open up freely about whatever it is that's bothering them. When a parent expresses themselves in a healthy way at home, it allows kids to be their authentic selves. This way, the parent will know and be able to read their kids better than anyone. Even if they claim to be OK. ❤️

[@jessicakinderlin5466]

I love that she sugar coats her whole life to her loved ones, it really is significant as that’s common for people with depression

[@sirius7738]

As a Chinese person I have you a fun (not so fun) fact. If you look at the calendar, you can see it's the 4th month. Number 4 is unlucky number because its pronunciation is similar to word death, so it's the number of death.

[@Daisuuki]

this is a creative way to make an animation related to depression and suicide .. like , she never mentioned that she was going to do it and lied about her ugly life .. then probably jumped in front of a train . i really do hope that this isn't related to creator and their life .. i really like this animation and kinda relate it because how bad things are going for me now , I'm not thinking to end my life but things are pretty heavy ..

[@aliam7546]

so i interpret this as her father being already dead (the bright light around him might be something like heaven or so) and then there is her who planned the day to be her last day (she is unhappy obviously) and she joins his father (text about that she is home now -> with her father again)... beautiful shortmovie!

[@prettymuchyeah7520]

I'm pretty sure the light around him is signifying that he's her light, or, her reason to live.

[@agnibeena8069]

That's what I thought as well

[@dianatuhumwire6652]

This is a very beautiful story. My own description of this is; Mostly when children grow up, there's a way their parents as well as society have very many expectations of. For example in Africa; marriage, career, children are the questions that come up with time as you grow. These young adults start living their lives to impress others yet deep down there they're hurting. Some parents think since their children are all grown up, it's now a must and their responsibility to take care of their parents. These parents forget that no matter how seemingly energetic these youths are, most of them are battling with a lot of things. They even decide to keep everything to themselves, always give a good picture of "we're doing just great" to the elders for them not to worry. Forgetting that they matter too. This is so touching😢😢 She was speaking exactly the opposite of what was going on in her life🙌

[@becimouton9629]

He saved her... really shows how impactful a single "how are you?" text to someone who's struggling can be.

[@DanielVCOliveira]

He didn't save her, he arrived too late at her house. She was already at the train station.

[@demasnarel5434]

I remember that when i was struggling mu friend text me how are you and i was crying because of that

[@PopK811]

Great animation, great story and wonderful music! Good job on this one! Absolutely amazing work

[@GuineaPigEveryday]

Thanks for this animation. I feel a lot of people can relate. For me personally, I've been struggling these past 2 years in college, not making friends, barely keeping up with work, I know what subjects/interests I have, but I don't know if it's worth working all my life with nothing outside of that. And for me I wish I had the relationship her daughter has with her dad, I hate that when you have had an abusive parent in your life you never trust them again but you wish it could be different and that you could love them like a parent. Especially that line 'Sometimes I wish I was just a kid again' hits too damn hard. Sometimes I just wish I was just living with my mom again and I wouldn't need to worry about friends or social life or the future.

[@crystal8696]

oh wow, same.

[@jermainegwynethpanaga5632]

It's 2024, I'm still here. Never fails to make me cry

[@sukaisaine5700]

This video is full of questions that no one can awnser...

[@whitleyanne5443]

What i loved about this shortfilm.. Is i watched it the first time listening to what she was saying, but realized she meant the complete opposite. So i rewatched it saying allowed what she really meant.. and it was heartbreaking.

[@ayahhashem7635]

very important topic.. very sad aswell but this was the first thing that popped in my mind "Honey if ur mom is dead ur the one who going to say hi"

[@radmilatokareva2248]

it's amazing how deep you can dive into history in just 2 minutes.. Great job👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻😿

[@healthyellowfish]

so sad... but the dots in the end give me hope she steps back and answers her dad..

[@butterdino1804]

From the photos and from the picture for the front video cover I could tell it was a suicidal note because I feel the same way .

[@StarLight-wd6nr]

I am sorry you're feeling this way. I've been there too, things are hard sometimes, aren't they? I know it feels like no one will understand, and it might not change, but it will. Keep going and if you don't like it start everything all over again, change your life in the craziest way your heart desires but don't end it. It will be better, and you will be happy again.

[@navasophon8457]

I've almost been to that point. Fate did take a u turn when i got there. The "im just a bit tired" hit hard. Still remember the weight in my chest. Wish eveyone a nicer day. For those who took the train, safe trip. I respect your choice.

[@sarahanonymous3770]

"My train is here" ...chills

[@gapoochigapoochi]

This was so triggering for me as a survivor. I am glad I'm still alive and didn't die with any of my attempts sometimes I feel like I should have but no I cant I really want to live and see beyond this cacophonous darkness because this can't be it.

[@ibelieveinyourgalaxy07]

It's comforting to be surrounded by people... O-O

[@georgiarose818]

This animation captures perfectly what i’m feeling these days (since i started my first job at a big city)..😞

[@horizonpenblade1288]

...including that last part?

[@georgiarose818]

Don’t worry I’m not suicidal. It’s just that so many things happened in a short time and I’ve to face it alone here. Every time I made a video call with mom, I’d act like everything was great and normal, smile for her. Exactly what happened to the woman in this video, I feel her. I’m not good at explaining things sorry. But thank you for your concern.

[@harshit2.02]

@@georgiarose818 Good to hear that, always keep your mental health above everything from work to study to any other thing. Afterall what's the use when you are not benefiting from it ?! It will take a lit bit of more time to get adjusted to such things(job) but when you will do it will not be as hard as it used to be in the initial days. Most importantly make friends or anyone to talk to and share or discuss, it will benefit a lot since you are not keeping it locked in your head rather lettings it flow via words. (Now when i read it again i realized i sound like grandpa😂 telling things which we already know... sorry for that )

[@georgiarose818]

@@harshit2.02 I appreciate that, really. Yeah I may be a little clumsy now, did a lot of mistakes already at work lol. But I guess it’s fine cuz I learnt from it and I’ll get better at my work, friends, place and everything here. No you don’t sounds like a grandpa at all, instead you sounds like an old friend giving advice. So thank you :)

[@harshit2.02]

@@georgiarose818 Aww even my real friends haven't told such words lol BTW very true, time is always a great teacher, we get better and better in our work the more we do it. Was nice talking to you...Have a nice day :D

[@goldfish_crackerz]

Every time she says, Kim doing okay, or, I’m a little stressed, it shows just how much worse it is for her, and she puts up a front. It’s sad, but unfortunately common.

[@robinh4]

Wow! I was not expecting that at all. This short deserves more attention!

[@samelis6546]

This doesn't get old. It used to be so relatable; I accidentally clicked on this video and understood it from the moment I saw the to-do list and calendar. Now that I'm better, it pains me deeply to recall and remember those years. It physical hurt back then and has managed to hurt again now.. I have a stomachache, heartache and a headache after watching this again. Interestingly, watching this video didn't hurt me at all back then because I thought it was relatable and normal for me. I hope everyone else is fine and well. Don't ever commit. I'm still struggling and I don't know why I'm telling people not to, but just don't. Let life end on its own. What you need is a therapist,a friend, a supportive family, someone who loves you, and most importantly, self-love. Please listen to songs like Landslide or Fändest du schön or guided motivation or mindfulness or meditation with the focus to love or support or something. Just delay it as much as possible. You are loved, if you can't feel nor prove it, that's fine, the sign is that you're here.

[@samelis6546]

@fathima snaps Most welcome. Thank you for being here.

[@elle9092]

This is beautifully done. So much powerful imagery, and haunting music. I do feel like the three dots by her icon at the end imply that she WAS still alive and typing a reply. Maybe not all software works the same, but I assume that's her. Someone else with her phone probably wouldn't have replied so quickly.

[@kiyo_mi9072]

Its almost sad how relatable this is

[@maahuz]

This animation is so beautiful, both the story and the style. The music and the voice acting made it even better. You did such a good work, I'm subscribing

[@sylviaallen270]

Nothing wrong with your English at all.

[@maahuz]

@@sylviaallen270 thanks, Google Translate never fails with me

[@tranquiltales95]

I feel the way she feels ... completely utterly alone I wish I could be a good daughter and take more of this ...bhut I feel exhausted now

[@space0case24]

Devastating. Entirely. It will make great reference for my project, though, so I suppose enduring the gut-wrenching ending and foreshadowing is wort it. What a wonderful short film.

[@tylerthomas9405]

This literally brought a tear to my eye

[@sabinasamson1299]

If she had shared and cried with her parents before or often,she would be alive happily,our society is full beasts. I always share everything whether good or bad with my parents everyday,they always listen and share there as well.

[@prettymuchyeah7520]

Unfortunately, not everyone has good parents, or even parents at all. And even if they do, it's natural to want to make sure they don't worry. I'm like that with my father. My mom, unfortunately, was the one that found out. But, I'm not here to talk about that. My point is, though, that it isn't just as easy as saying "hey, dad, I want to die and everyday is horrible." There are many many layers.

[@sabinasamson1299]

@@prettymuchyeah7520 got your point. I totally understand.God bless you!

[@sinbadoakley1990]

I don’t miss my childhood at all when as an adult I have my true freedom now. I waited the first 22 years of my life to finally have my true freedom. I also don’t miss the first few years of my adulthood when I had to be in an adult foster home against my will. When I had a social worker the first three years of my adulthood she would not let me be on my own at all. When I was the one caring for my younger brother. I was at times very underestimated

[@Saturday4378]

"I'm just a bit tired. Anyways, sorry for everything........"

[@Mistyshade3]

I think last second she might’ve changed her mind because at the end we are in the dad’s perspective so when we here the notification after the typing it most likely came from her so I guess we know she at least replied to his message. Perhaps that means she didn’t do it in the end? Either way awesome animation. Really cool this ended up in my recommendations.

[@litty9701]

A bit unnerving that this girl looks a lot like me if I were an animated character. I struggle with depression and generalized anxiety disorder as well. When I have a crumby day it’s so easy to think that checking out of life is the easiest way out. Usually I just try to find time to take a nap to get my mind off of things. But we’ve all been there at one point or another and I’m glad the maker of this video chose to use their talent to illustrate a struggle many many ppl go thru❤

[@EmeliaSings]

for the love of..! I sure hope someone was able to save her the last second there. And that she gets the help she needs. Having such a loving father wanting to check in, it break my heart thinking the situation ended in any other way :(

[@toasty00v]

you know when it feels sad to lie but it feels even worse to tell the truth

[@arbitrarysadness6724]

Ohmygod I foresaw this twist yet IT DIDN'T STOP ME

[@0RiCeBuBbLeZ0]

So much feelings

[@gf4453]

It broke my heart...

[@CallMeAnisse]

You REALLY didn't have to screw me up this bad with the feels, damn

[@crow1628]

Wow.. beautiful animation, so underrated!

[@DRAVEN-h8u]

Hoping to watch enough of these to get the Courage to end my own miserable life.

[@harshit2.02]

Why this has to be so depressing. You have no idea how many times i watched this short film again and again just to find a clue or any sign which indicates that she changed her mind in the end. TBH i would be more sad for her fathers after seeing his smile while coming out of the train just to meet her daughter after so long. Obviously for her daughter too since she was surrounded by every negative things around her, no one to whom she can freely express her sadness (not to parents since they may not be able to handle this, and at that age we should try to not put any more pressure or negativity) . IDK why a virtual character is making me so much depressed just by thinking if this story was inspired from some real events :(

[@boba_brainrot]

in many forms of art, trains have symbolised death. just thought i would add that

[@hadasah_E]

The fact I understood the story at the end just made me cry… I relate with her abt the society of today

[@rehmatunissarehmatunissa207]

She did not committed suicide...she met her baba...she replied her baba at the end.

[@thisisnyx]

is that your Original Creation?You're So Underrated If So, It's Amazing!

[@Random-099-s2e]

Out of all that she was cheated and love broken which is enough to decide to end her life 💔

[@Mery-ug5st]

Beautiful artstyle and amazing, sad story...

[@shakararolle836]

This was wonderfully made.

[@simrakhan1373]

When will we stop pretending in front of our parents only not to worry them. When i was younger my parents could see my discomfort from my eyes but now they believe what i tell them, now they dont even know the real me what i m feeling suffering, i have to hide to cry to show emotions, i dont know what shall be done i want to be transparent with them n want them to be happy tooo

[@sachadoudou]

I had to watch it again. Amazing

[@GoobsGabe]

That gave me shivers done my spine ...

[@Itsme-sv8ny]

It's 2 minutes short but it's so deep and I love it 🥺🖤

[@snowdroppax2726]

I see a lot of conflicting opinions on the story since it seems like she committed suicide but yet at the end we can see that she was typing a text message to her father. I think the message here isn't that she literally killed herself, but rather a part of her died. We see that she has two 'selves'. One that she shows her parents, who is happy, well put together, and professional, the one with the hair in a bun. And another that is her more truer self, her hair down, she's sad and unhappy, stressed and hates her job. I think the idea is that her happiest self has 'died'.

[@minatzuga5573]

I took it as she actually stepped in front of the train and committed suicide. Showing "she" was typing a text, but not showing the contents of the message, followed by the screen blacking out and the ping .. I took it as one of the emergency first responders informing the Dad what had happened to her daughter after obtaining the phone.

[@harabelerkenti]

perfect.

[@tanaydas7832]

The Word Baba is most commonly used in West Bengal also including some of the North East regions in India . She Didn't wanna Worry for her baba So she just said Jest of it all with the grain of comfort. You Yes You I want to send you all the smile, Happiness and, joy and Laughter Just Hang in there, Things will Change for you,.

[@shadi8119]

I feel the same way

[@Tchaikovsky391]

Good story

[@user-liza89]

Heartbreaking, because understandable

[@Kidzoomm]

Wow this is so good! New sub!

[@vitorspinola3795]

She still alive! She's typing at the end, take a look at the dots. Don't lose hope guys, life will be better someday!

[@estikararas11]

OMG, please save her 😭😭😭

[@28vegod5]

She'll be okay at all,no impossible, just believe

[@balsarmy]

Life is important, don't underestimate life

[@SirFlopsy]

Oof. How much three little dots can make you wonder.

[@matthewpaul6904]

Well that destroyed me. Well done.

[@damonwayne7760]

Please don’t do this to me, she didn’t jump right :((

[@alexanderxue1761]

The sweet release of death.

[@positivevibespending9080]

it's funny how whenever I see this type of content, I never feel sad for the person committing suicide. It's sad that it came to that, I guess, sad that no one noticed maybe. But I'm always upset for characters like the dad. The death of a family member hurts, and it hurts because that member's existence was meaningful even if they couldn't find their own meaning. That's why it's so important to love and to surround yourself with people who love you, especially on the days when meaning itself feels meaningless. On days like that, I look at these people and realize that I need to be the person who sees the meaning in their life too. Even if, for a while, all meaning is derived from watching others enjoy our existence when we can't do it for ourselves.

[@cynthialewis2456]

Depression is real you feel a type away and then .....

[@silatasci4700]

beautiful

[@tereee23]

Wow this looks incredible, what program(s) did you use? I’d love to do this kind of animation but not sure which program would be the most suitable (I’ve only used procreate, blender and adobe animate so far)

[@sharminrahman105]

This reminds me of the book Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine

[@AdaonACalaSaca]

😢😢😢 After all, what more is there to say... Except perhaps.. "Wait for me"..?

[@amytaf2387]

My heart 😭😭😭

[@rhyme1858]

Wow🥺😟that's depressing af .....y.o.l.o

[@wheniswendy6800]

RIP,

[@xzaii.]

I hope this girl is okay but can we all just take a look at the fact that she/he doesn't even have at least 1k sub's?? This needs to be appreciated more

[@StarLight-wd6nr]

Me 2, bc she didn't download more than this video, I am worried about her

[@nyralauphia999]

“Sorry for everything.” Subtle but effective.

[@j.diangelo5683]

Hello! Do You think that i can perhaps do a spanish fandub of your thesis? It's just, so powerful

[@willcoffarchives]

Great stuff

[@panmama2165]

Oh god. The girl commited suicide.

[@DrCyn]

that was my take on it too

[@pai-tsuhi1131]

This is very sad. The only thing I’m confused about is when she said she met someone and then it shows someone else in love..

[@bunimyu1878]

I thought I was watching myself as a third person.

[@leslie2858]

remind me game "Gris"

[@KittyCatNinja]

Jesus fuck that got dark.

[@hacky_sackin]

Wow. I don’t know what to say. This is amazingly heart renching

[@skrivebordsskuffen2442]

Suicude yes I been there ..done that survived....Why does she chose excactly to Jump out in front off the train?