The Truth Behind Their Silence

[@CoachCraigKenneth]

Work hard on yourself in No Contact! It pays off for you regardless of what your Ex does. You won’t regret it! My Knowledge Workbooks and Creative Healing Course can really change your life 💪 only available at AskCraig.net

[@DemocracyFirst2025]

Hey Craig I appreciate the videos and they’ve helped me a lot. That said, let me give u something to think about re: my situation, and I can’t be the only one. Not all breakups end w/ a clear dumper and dumpee. Sometimes it’s a mutual agreement. No begging or chasing has occurred, but now we’ve both gone NC on eachother simultaneously, and we’re both hurting while waiting for the other to balk first. I wish it were clear who dumped whom.

[@joshb7326]

I went no contact after my ex was texting someone who she liked more than ended it and monkey branched after this guy was ghosting her majically was interested again. She never came back, I eventually moved on, but you shud NEVER live in hope for them returning. Greave and treat them like theyre dead. They dont care about you, just move on with your life

[@mxrsfx6930]

I have to see my ex 1-2 times a month at mutual friend groups

[@ForestWW]

@@mxrsfx6930I know this sounds bad but don’t hangout with your friends for a while.

[@YaxinYe-nk9gv]

@@mxrsfx6930same here😢

[@KD-hy3bi]

I’m so happy to have no social medias. It’s not a factor for me.

[@christinalee2072]

Me too!!!

[@tammyjane2777]

This is one of your best videos! I have talked with you a couple of times and have been following you for years. You have helped me greatly!

[@masha_fera]

Now after 4 months, I'm finally starting to heal a bit. I've been through the most horrible heartbreak of my life and it has completely ruined me. I almost fucked up my master's degree and I'm doing therapy now. After 3 months he reached out and we met. I think he felt obliged to do this because he had a guilty conscience, but he didn't regret his decision. In fact, he was wondering how I could still have feelings after everything he had done to me. Now I can finally focus on my life again. Slowly but I'm getting there. And I'm talking to other guys who are really nice. My ex will be back in town in a couple of weeks and I'm wondering if he will actually start missing me and realize what he has lost... Or if he'll be just fine and won't give a shit. These videos really make me think. Does it really work like that?

[@LeonScottKennedy7]

Thank you Craig, you're absolutely right its in reverse timeline, you are sad then you get over it but they may be over it but then they will get to miss you and maybe depending on how you handle d things send you a text message or something

[@narayanprasad5244]

I have been NC about 5 weeks and it has gotten harder. Lately I’ve literally been struggling not knowing what’s going on. Everyday my Ming wanders to where they’re at and what they’re doing. All I do is look at their social and when they’re on and off it. It’s like Craig vocalises what is exactly happening in my brain it is uncanny. I hope everyone is healing well.

[@umedzalmanov8731]

Even I was in relationship I always listen tonyour guys

[@papishow]

Thank you for this message. Amen. Jesus I trust you.

[@thewanderer2041]

I’ve been a year no contact with my ex-wife since she left me. She even had her lawyer serve me divorce papers via email which I found in my junk mail. Brutally cold 🥶

[@basicinfo2022]

Its been over 2 months of no contact and he still has me blocked on everything. I wont reach out first this time because i learned the hard way that it works against reattracting him. He has a lot of inner work and life goals to do too.

[@Swiss_Girl]

2 month is not long❤

[@lmodder6475]

I’m in the exact situation, been blocked, she even blocked my whole family on insta! She has zero interest in talking with me for this moment. You’re not the only one dealing with this, I sincerely wish you luck through this hardship, because it is hard. My ex has inner work to do as well. As do I.

[@basicinfo2022]

@lmodder6475 thanks, almost 4 months no contact. I don't want what doesn't value me, love me or meet my standards.

[@mint_soup9743]

I love him dearly. But I also think he is toxic. I'm having a hard time sorting what is my bruised ego and what is rightful indignation- The further I get from the breakup the angrier I get. I was put through the same things with him twice. I'm regretting ever letting him close enough to hurt me again. I hope leaving was the right choice.

[@Vidasinvida]

Sounds like it was the right choice! Do the work from coach! I bought it and it asks me things I’ve never ever considered to think about :)

[@mint_soup9743]

@@Vidasinvida thank you, I will.

[@KD-hy3bi]

I let mine come back 3 times over 5 years. It ended again 4 weeks ago. Because I stated that my needs weren’t being met. He relocated out of state 10 months ago. We tried to make it work but I don’t know honestly who was trying harder or more. We were both unhappy, he was the one who moved, so it ended. Stupid.

[@mint_soup9743]

@Alixir1228 how toxic and draining. Protect your peace hun

[@brianhill6842]

Mine bragged he messed around with someone else. He’s not self reflecting. He told me he wants to be selfish and sorry if this leaves me hanging. I went three weeks and finally just reached out because I couldn’t handle that he was fine with “leaving me hanging.”

[@-taylor-9980]

Still watching my stories after 1 year no contact.... come on babe just speak because I'm not going to. You dumped me. 😂😂😂😂

[@LeonScottKennedy7]

She may just watch the stories in succesion randomly, since its been a year i would suggest making an effort to meet a new good girl too

[@basicinfo2022]

Well how can she miss you If she still has access to you? I would delete exes.

[@hhcoach]

@@basicinfo2022deleting someone is passive aggressive. It’s trying to get a rise out of someone and it’s weak. Why delete, level up and let them watch from the sidelines when they could have been in the game.

[@basicinfo2022]

@hhcoach because you're holding on to your past rather than respecting your future and having boundaries with exes who left you....

[@hhcoach]

@@basicinfo2022you can unfollow these days. Deleting someone says more about your ability to handle it. If you absolutely have to that’s on you but it also states that it’s effecting you while also closing the door on any chance of rekindling. Which is fine if that’s what you want to do. But a lot of these videos are about trying to reattract an ex, so comments recommending passive aggressive tactics are counter productive to what ppl who watch these videos want. But yes if what you are trying to do is move on entirely while also significantly dropping your chance of rekindling by all means do what you suggest. But maybe you should think about what the ppl watching this video are actually trying to do. Also just responding to an earlier comment you make, if you’re trying to get them to reach out. Simply not watching their stories and interacting with their social networking accounts is just fine. You leave the opportunity for them to contact you on their own time table. If someone ends it, they have to fix it. But eliminating any ability for them to contact is non verbally saying you don’t want them to contact you. When that’s not really what you want. Just unfollow, it’s all that is necessary during no contact. Let them live their life, if they want to come back they will reach out at some point

[@Stranded360]

Going on three months- starting to forget her face. Don't think she cared for me- if she wants to reach out cool...if not I have to have peace in my life regardless.

[@Cornelius1212]

Completely lost hope, 5 months since the breakup, and NC for 2½ months. Never going to hear from her again and really miss her.

[@Motiv8Grow]

Stay strong

[@nattyelena4227]

Thank you 🙏🏻

[@brandonrobertkersjes]

People suck…

[@andreamuir1959]

Pretty much the gist of it yes

[@haaze8380]

Gotta start off and say I love your videos they have helped in so many ways. I have one question though. I have been in no contact with my avoidant ex and she has a major surgery coming up and I was wondering if I should break no contact to wish them the best?

[@Teegee1387]

I’ve been watching for a while but this was a good break down. Sometimes it’s hard not to think negative, feel rejected. I’ve been there. Sometimes still am. The reality of it is I often time wonder did my ex care? But listening to you put it like this I can at least be willing to looking at it from a different perspective. I really don’t know what my ex feels and trying to own that makes me spiral more times than not. I really want to heal though. I don’t want to be a cancer to myself. I miss my ex terribly. It hurts a lot, but maybe I need to really hone in and do this work for real. I don’t want to keep building unhealthy situations. The part I struggle with is the void I feel and sometimes moving on or trying to date for me feels like I’m cheating. What are your thoughts?

[@Vidasinvida]

Don’t date ppl if you don’t feel ready 🩷 There’s no need to rush into that :)

[@Teegee1387]

@@Vidasinvida I don’t. I’m don’t believe in putting my bs on someone else. So I’m just taking this space for myself. Burying myself in work, but also reflecting on who I need to be in order to be more secure.

[@abp311]

saw my avoidant ex recently in traffic. we've been broken up for a year and a half, 30 years together, mostly in no contact since. texted him just to say I saw him, thought I'd say hello. that's it, no begging or carrying on. got no response. really? can't even say hello? I thought it was chickenshit.

[@dennishaas3140]

I went radio silent over a year ago, I hope she never returns.

[@umedzalmanov8731]

After 6 months of no contact she text me “ hi I don’t wanna have long conversations” but how are you, I didn’t respond next day she feted the text”

[@lofi_mood04]

Bro politely and end the conversation shortly don't ignore her

[@basicinfo2022]

Ignore breadcrumbs if it's not about reconciling.

[@MzNoir_Rain444]

@@lofi_mood04 Why? Because it’s polite? This is why avoidants get away with treating others like crap. Everyone else should be polite, gracious and accommodate their emotionally unstable behavior. 6 months and she thinks she can make demands. OP has feelings too.

[@pirette08]

We never established no contact but i did it because i was the one that was dumped. Now come to find out my ex was mad i did not reach out after he broke up with me.😒 he keeps making up the story it was mutual when it wasnt. I was discarded

[@narayanprasad5244]

Not to mention I’ve literally almost snapped and reached out for the purpose of closure 😂 Can’t turn off the sadness, crying daily the only outlet is the Knowledge workbook I’m on volume 6

[@andreamuir1959]

Hang in there hun xxxx

[@narayanprasad5244]

@@andreamuir1959 thanks so nice of you. I'm getting there thanks to Craig and Victoria!

[@saragirardini3981]

Technically it was me who left, after one year of longdistance story ( a fantastic year) because he told me he consider himself as single and not in a relationship, he needs sombody closed to him for a daily relationship. I felt so sad, not loved, after all love and efforts a gave him. I told him I don't feel loved, w both of us must believe in this relationship, not only me. I left, and he desappered. Totally ignores me. He was disappointed when I told him that. I think he is happy now , he cut me off in 2 minutes

[@jeremyriley2102]

No contact for two months and today was my birthday, she never reached out. Hard.

[@MrNobleSix]

Sorry man, hope you still had a lovely bday

[@masha_fera]

Same thing. Everyone wished me happy birthday. Even people I haven't heard from in years... Everyone but him.

[@awaken24]

Did she dump you ?

[@vixter28]

lol 😂 He tried that before when we broke up before, and he found out the grass wasn’t greener !!!! Maybe he will think that and come back but he’s an alcoholic so he doesn’t really care about anything but that He might miss me, but he’s pretty stubborn and he probably won’t reach out now. If he sees me out somewhere, he might come up and talk to me. Good advice so I can heal so when I do see him out, or he comes by my place I can handle it better ❤

[@VinnyWilliams-r4x]

Hey coach, ex who was the dumper after 3 year and 7 month relationship was viewing my stories constantly for a month straight during NC. then stopped, after seeing me in person from a distance. Why

[@JoseCastillo-l5n]

Even tho she unfollowed me will NC work? MT Craig are tiene any exceptions to break NC?

[@misslucky93]

I broke up with my bf a month ago. He texted me 4x indirect direct approach. I deleted the apps we're connected. I just want action not talking/bluffing

[@user-xn2yx1wd6l]

Can you do a video on borderline?

[@FerlandzHarris]

I have 30 years with my wife and we have kids. What can I do to get my wife back when you can’t go no contact?

[@MrManulund]

9 months of total NC now. I m just desesperate.. Is everything lost?

[@MrFreshMachine]

My ex told me she still loves me and misses me but doesn’t want to talk anymore, she said life was too much right now and she isn’t happy, but I asked her if I made her happy and she said yes so that’s really confusing

[@ForestWW]

She loves you and misses you but doesn’t wanna be with you or don’t want you back as of right now. It’s either she doesn’t have time for relationship or she actually already is talking to a new guy. I swear. I know because I’ve been in the same exact situation as you for the past 5 months. I’ve made my peace. I’d move on if I were you. I know it hurts and it’s a sad. I didn’t want to but we are owed the truth.

[@mxrsfx6930]

Craig please do a video of no contact when the ex is your main social circle. I have to see them 1-2 times a month for the 4 months of the break up

[@ForestWW]

Find a temporary new friend group

[@KD-hy3bi]

@@ForestWWyou don’t just “find” a new friend group. 🤦‍♀️

[@mxrsfx6930]

@@KD-hy3bi thank you lol

[@KD-hy3bi]

@@mxrsfx6930 you’re welcome. ❤️

[@ForestWW]

@@KD-hy3bi than don’t hangout with them for a while, it’s simple.

[@natesearfoss881]

Will they think about you and stalk you if they hate and blocked you?

[@MarquiseMiller-yg6nu]

My ex told me no contact. Also told me she still deeply loves and cares about me but needs a lot of time and space. But also stated that the relationship didn’t work for us anymore?

[@ForestWW]

She loves you and cares for but is trying to keep you as a back up option while she explores other options.

[@MarquiseMiller-yg6nu]

@@ForestWW I don’t wanna think like that. Then why won’t she just remove me if she’s moving on you know

[@ForestWW]

@@MarquiseMiller-yg6nu brother I know how you feel man, hear me I do. I feel your pain. I don’t like the idea of my ex fiancé doing things with other guys. It saddens me. She hasn’t removed me on anything either. She’s told everyone but me that she still loves me and cares for me and misses me but if she wanted to fix things like she claims, she would. Simple. It’s because they don’t want too. They are out and about doing “single activities” sadly. It’s because, you and I - we, are back options most likely. That’s the ugly truth. I’m telling you what you need to hear. Not always are we, but 7-8 / 10 times most likely, we are nothing but we are back up options. They’re being entertained by someone new and they haven’t removed us to keep us just in case the new guy doesn’t workout and if they workout, they will come back if we aren’t taken yet or if life circumstances are lined up. It’s only very rare that they are genuinely overwhelmed.

[@kauntaroberts2381]

Hey Coach, I’m in no contact but my ex contacts me. I respond but should I remain in contact and don’t respond?

[@MVProfits]

But after 4-5 months of NC, sending a message is not THAT bad an idea. "Closure" is sometimes necessary - yeah we tend to look for it too quick or too easily, I get that, but it isn't like it's completely irrelevant!. After all this time, I'm still as hurt and obsessed as day 1 and I'm sick of it. If she has truly moved on or has started dating, I'd free me. Yeah it would hurt, and hurt real real bad, but after all this time, it becomes better than the daily pain that just won't go away. And of course there's a small chance it could start things anew. It's not like I bugged her. It's been a true NC. Of course the ideal scenario is that she reaches out first. But if NC hasn't made her change her decision by 4-5 months of true NC, what do I have to lose to KNOW where she stands? And it'd be just a random, non-emotional message to test the waters. Not a "please get back together with me" message ha ha. You rarely talk about women-men differences. But men typically do the first steps, initiate, and go through way more rejection than women. So doesn't it make more sense for men to initiate here? Just so she feels she can communicate without fear of rejection? She can still reject me if set on it, but now she'd know I'm still open to small talk at least. If she has interest it removes that fear of rejection.

[@rel0302]

Closure is never necessary and Craig teaches that. You likely feel this way because you haven't done much inner healing yet. Once you start to truly heal the realization that you don't need Closure will hit! It's all emotional. You're still very emotionally invested, hence wanting that "final" reach out which craig ALSO says not to do! Stay strong! Do the work, the REAL work from Craig's workbooks, it will change your life, and attitude about Closure. Good luck!

[@MVProfits]

@@rel0302 I appreciate your concerns, but NC is a tool, the #1 tool by far to handle breakups. Noting else makes much sense, really. But it's a tool, not an absolute command. In my case, "closure" is not wanting reasons, justifications, and all the usual associations with that word. It's just wanting to know if there's a chance to get back, or if it's done for good. As the daily pain is getting way too much. After 4.5 months. I've "earned it". NC has done its job or not at that point. NC makes the dumper feel the loss, the pain, miss our presence, recall some good memories... but it also keeps up in limbo if we still have feelings and hope. I just want an out one way or the other. Sure I'd much much prefer she would have reached out or to initiate something again, but I'd rather get massive pain that will go away than to keep this going. And my point about the differences in women and men for rejection remains. Yes the dumper has fear of our rejection if they want back!

[@MaiHobby]

​@@MVProfits don't hurt yourself by deluding that she might say yes for getting back. I understand how you feel, about what if she wants you back but is afraid simply because the norm is that a man should chase a woman. I'm in the very same situation and I understand. But trust us. The moment you reach out, the relief that you still loves her, will amplify whatever painful feelings she felt when you guys broke up, and supress any longing for you. You won't need to reach out, because the answer is a no. I met some female friends going through their breakups (as dumpers), and let me tell you their emotions are a mess. They would said to never getting back to their exes, then moments later said they would actually consider it, then switched back to no after. Their painful feelings will always triumph. Unless the pain go away, and they attempt to contact you even over small mattets, no is the answer you will get.

[@CraigNeverSunday]

@@MVProfits I've felt the same way, but I came to a realisation, "If she wanted to, she would", meaning that If she wanted a relationship then she would contact me, chasing her with the reset message only leads to more disappointment (I know because I've done it), you may feel like you got nothing left to lose, but what if you didn't reach out she contacts you because you didn't disrupt the process? Focus on yourself champ! I'm 6 months in myself, I know you got this!

[@Vidasinvida]

@@MVProfitsyep sounds like you have a long way to go to do the work! Look at what you are doing: you are rationalizing. I wouldn’t reach out! You are still invested. You can’t speed up the grieving. Reaching out to her will not help you move on any faster. By reaching out to her, you are attaching yourself to her again and now you would have to unstitch all of that again before you reach back to your previous progression. You don’t even know if she will answer you lol, there goes your “closure”. Just keep going at NC🫶

[@aqmendoza52]

They're in a rebound...

[@lynda6977]

After he went no contact without any specific reason I successfully detached from him but he is like ne never missed out to check my stories and status. Even sometimes his brother texted me. I really don't understand why he always checked me on??? If someone knows reply to me 😂

[@wilvandenham837]

I just discovered by accident that my avoidant ex unblocked me on Facebook after 1 year and 4 months 😂😉

[@MehdiSadeghi-o7h]

After going over a year of no contact with my fearful-avoidant ex-girlfriend, she finally mentioned our breakup and posted this: "Every time I post music with lyrics, it's not just simple lyrics. There are subliminal messages behind every single line." And this is her second post(the lyric of the song): Don't leave a message, you'll regret this And just like that, let you go and I'm not looking back Surprised, I didn't really feel too bad, cause I have been...

[@basicinfo2022]

Don't make yourself delusional. It's been a year so could be about someone else. This is why its suggested to not look at their social media. It can confuse or hurt you on purpose. Ignore breadcrumbs unless they directly message to reconcile.

[@fionakarbel258]

❤

[@VinnyWilliams-r4x]

Coach what if they were watching every single story during a little over a month of NC and then when you see them in person from a distance, and just mind your own business, they stop watching

[@tsdy8680]

👌🏽👌🏽🩷🩷🩷

[@barbara6840]

Sorry but sending a cowardly dumb text to avoid an uncomfortable conversation is not confident. It's emotional immaturity. Block and delete. Next!

[@Kristoferwitha_k]

It's been 10 months. So? And she is a DA so likely she will never reach out🥹😖☹️

[@basicinfo2022]

After 4 months if you think there's nothing to lose by reaching out first to ask how they are doing, then do it but be prepared for possibly being ignored and rejected again.

[@KD-hy3bi]

Me and mine went 15 months. We were back together for a year and a half and it ended again. Why? Because neither of us did the personal growth or work during those 15 months. We have to do the work. For ourselves on ourselves

[@azoz158]

​@@KD-hy3biif both people don't do the work, it won't work. Just do the work and move on. Avoidants mostly end up alone in life. I saw a video of a nurse that said most if not all the people in homes when they are old are avoidants. They end up alone, and that's karma because they pushed everyone that truly loved them out of their lives.