The UGLY TRUTH about GAY BATHHOUSES | Patrick Marano

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Bathhouses (or Gay Saunas) are so polarizing. I guess anything to do with sex is going to be, especially in these divided times.
But there are some fundamental truths concerning gay bathhouses that you need to know. Misconceptions are the biggest hurdle for people when decided if and when to check out their local gay sauna.
In this video I break down 3 common misconceptions about Gay Bathhouses and give you the ugly truth (whether it's what you want to hear or not)
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[@Booksn0b]

“No offense to c*m dumpsters” I’m dying, you’re so funny. So I’m a woman who just stumbled on your channel. I watch a lot of documentary type videos, after watching a Roman bathhouse video on one of my history channel pages, you popped up. I’m addicted to your energy, and content. I’m learning something new too. Never stop creating, you are awesome!!

[@PatrickMarano]

Wow, that means a lot coming from you, thank you so much for the supportive words!

[@thugdaddy007]

when you say a woman, you mean a Nazi feminist by any chance????!!!!

[@Booksn0b]

@DaleGribble-p6x everything is offensive these days. However, I’m not going to dissuade people from making comical content. People who get offended by everything are changing comedy so that it’s not even comedy anymore it’s just people walking on eggshells to avoid hurt feelings. I am a woman, and it didn’t bother me. Had it bothered me I would have just moved on with my life 🤷🏻‍♀️😂.

[@wolfman007zz]

I’ve been going to my local bathhouse now for 5 years. No preconceived notions. I always have a great time! I meet all kinds, all ages, all body types! Love heavy older guys and guys with smaller members. It’s all about enjoyment. Just ask! I get turned down, but always find another who wants me. I love the diversity of types and ages. It’s all good!

[@Moxy770]

Well-said Wolfman !!!

[@victordepaul1061]

Good advice Patrick. Our minds can be our own worst enemies and your informative video challenges the stigma that is attached to bathhouses.

[@paulortiz2035]

No idea gay men had such a need for others approbation! I thought we were mostly all hardened to others thoughts, ideas, condemnations and crude remarks! And/or gestures!!! When I finally realized I was gay the only approbation I needed was my own! Fuch everyone else was the attitude if they weren't 'unenlightened'. "You do you, and I'll run my own show, thanks just the same!" . Who needs someone else's garbage to haul around with them through life? I have got enough baggage as it is! But I'm trying to get it down to just a single carry on!!! And I'm almost there, too! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! NEVER SEEK APPROVAL!!! YOU ARE FINE JUST AS YOU ARE!!! AND IF YOU AREN'T YOURE JUST IN THE WRONG LOCATION/SITUATION. WHICH IS EASY ENOUGH TO CHANGE!

[@jourdancantiberos4867]

Bathhouses are great places to learn to be comfortable with yourself and to learn how to let go of the ego. I’m very average and learned how to be more confident and outgoing in part by exploring bathhouses. Everything Patrick said is true…it doesn’t always need to be a raunchy experience. Sometimes it’s just nice to belong somewhere in your own skin and share in humanity.

[@PatrickMarano]

What a great way of saying it, thank you

[@deechatterton5828]

Thank you! I realized quite a while ago that GQ was never going to knock down my door looking to put me on the next underwear ad cover. That never stopped me from going to the baths and I almost always had a good time. I met several people who have remained lifelong friends there. When AIDS hit, we did outreach there. It was the safest place in town. So go, y'all, and have a good time.

[@thomasbradley4505]

When I used to go to the bathhouse, there were guys I thought were hot who wouldn’t even look at me, and there were guys who cruised me who I wasn’t interested in. As long as the rejection was respectful, we just moved on and found someone else. There was always a way to have fun somehow 🤷‍♂️

[@Jordi7174]

@@paulsmith2279 what's your point?

[@sams3015]

I found that last time I went to one in Paris. It knocked my self esteem a bit but then I went out clubbing another night and picked up some super hot guys

[@rickovery]

@@paulsmith2279 I went to bathhouse frequently in Dallas and Austin all through the 80's, 90's and up to about 2010 and I'm obviously still here. I do know that a lot of people who went to bathhouse back are no longer with us, but your catty remark is neither appropriate nor needed.

[@rickovery]

Thomas, bathhouses obviously are not criminal offences since they have remained open to the public. And, every time I've been to one they have heavily promoted safe sex practices. Self-loathing? No. it's my freedom is explore my gay sexuality with other gay men. Plus, I've met a lot of really nice and interesting people at the bathhouses. I met a guy who became my boyfriend for several years and have many good friends there. Here's a thought for if you don't like the bathhouse, then don't go to the bathhouse. Or better yet go check one out for yourself. There is nothing sadder or worse than contempt prior to investivation.

[@thomasbradley4505]

@@rickovery I agree. I know you meant that comment for Paul, who seems to have a problem with men going somewhere where they can express their sexuality and enjoy doing whatever they want consensually with other men. I also met someone there who I ended up having a very enjoyable 3 year relationship with and we had many friends who we had met through the bathhouse. I have even stayed in touch with a few of them through the years

[@crimsonsmirk]

I find I have the best time at a bath house when I treat it like a spa. That way even if I find nobody I'm into (or who's into me), I have something enjoyable to do. Of course that also means it makes just more sense (for me) to go to places that don't just have great cruising areas but also good sauna, pools, non-sexual relaxation area etc.

[@PatrickMarano]

Absolutely! Thanks for that!

[@DwainRichardson]

Some salient points were made in this video. I especially liked the points regarding preconceived judgements about diseases. Having visited saunas before COVID, I can say that I never feared the possibility of contracting an STI or AIDS. I simply had to walk with condoms and decide who I was meeting and what I wanted to do. I knew this was my responsibility, nobody else’s. If you don’t want to catch a disease or virus, protect yourselves. It’s that easy, folks, no matter where you are. (-:

[@PatrickMarano]

amen

[@nicogancho]

But now there is PREP, I think bareback is the norm again. So I am afraid that if I want to use condoms, nobody wants me. What is your experience with that?

[@ianandersen265]

Is it really that easy to avoid STDs? One little encounter with condoms, my first one for crying out loud, and I got gonorrhea. I didn't even have a complete sexual experience cuz I chickened out 1 minute in. So frustrating! Antibiotics cleared the disease, but the experience leaves me in complete shock.

[@Scar-jg4bn]

​@@nicogancho always use condoms unless you want every STD other than HIV if you're on PREP. Lot's of dudes are getting STDs barebacking just because they're on PREP and think they're invincible.

[@positivepessimist6853]

It's only a matter of time before you do catch HIV.

[@josephharkreader7875]

I loved my bathhouse adventures. It was definitely interesting to see the different variety of men who showed up. I saw younger men in their 20s and older men in their 50s and 60s. And naturally, all body types. There were guys who were into me, and guys who weren't. It wasn't that deep. I had a great time. Also, I think the judgment of STIs, and judgment of the environment is weird coming from guys who are constantly hooking up with strangers on apps like Grindr.

[@PatrickMarano]

Amen

[@rynofreidberg7557]

So powerful! The boathouse made me realise im just a normal guy like everyone else, nothing more, nothing less. More respect for myself and the rest of the guys who realised the same. We are men and human beings, and that at least should guarantee respect if nothing else

[@PatrickMarano]

Beautifully said!

[@Jayseman79]

I found that when I first went to a bathhouse. All the guys minus a couple were everyday normal guys, not feminine. Made me feel better. Was very hot thinking these guys are the same as me with the same desires. Such a great time

[@augusts1]

Oh yea, I have to remind myself regularly that what I concoct in my head is usually FAR worse than the reality of it. I'm quite a worrier & have to work at not creating negative scenarios in my mind since I deal w/depression & dealt w/it since I was a kid. So thanks for that reminder. The AIDS commenters I always hate too. Their internalized homophobia is so awful it's quite sad.

[@loynelfoo8874]

Hey, don’t get me wrong, I enjoy going to #steamworksToronto and #Spaexccess, but due to the #pandemic and #monkeypox outbreak these days, it’s been tough to head back there, and before I did love going to #stmarcspa, just waiting to hear when everything return back to normal, then make my merrily way back to #Steamworkstoronto in june 2023 or 2024

[@billycarroll284]

Patrick, appreciate your educated instructions , have visited your Tubs and yes all of TO’s Tubs are very community orientated! As an American I recommend a visit to TO in general !

[@jmc506cr]

During my early adult time my self-esteem depended of how successful I would be by having s** with at least someone before living. Took me some time to undress not only my body but also my mind and leave my issues and insecurities out of the other side of the front door and enjoy the chance to be there, relax without any expectation. If something happens, great. If not, I dont care, I love been there with myself.

[@liner2]

So true, so correct, so lovely!

[@LightningSt0rm]

I can vouch for the cleanliness of bathhouses. Even the ones that look "seedy" or dirty from the outside are absurdly clean when inside.

[@anjinsanx44]

Not in Hollywood cal I feel Opposite is true

[@Jusell]

In fact I'm going to visit a bathhouse right now 🔥

[@PatrickMarano]

let us know how it goes!

[@ivanrodriguez268]

the problem is that EVERYONE is after the most attractive one at the Bathouse, average guys dont go for each other. And also right now with covid and monkeypox many guys just don't want to risk it.

[@lloydoldham3912]

Wonderful message and I'm sure you've helped many by sharing it.

[@PatrickMarano]

Cheers!

[@mikemurray1047]

I totally agree with him that bathhouses can be so much fun and so rewarding. There is nothing more fun and rewarding than walking into a bathhouse sauna or steam room and seeing used condoms laying all over the floor. That is so exciting and I can’t wait to go back again and meet some great people

[@rickncam3]

Kind of like watching a Richard Simmons pep talk, but both his message and bathhouse description are correct.

[@scottw1174]

What a fantastic video, ive been to bath houses thru out my life, i havent been in a few years, i had a 29 year relationship,and a few years ago my partner passed, in tampa, there used to be club tampa and it was fantastic,its gone now , i miss the bath house, and at 64, i kind of feel a bit old

[@rixx46]

as I comment to another fellow older guy like us, GO FO IT. No matter how unattractive you THINK you look I doubt it's nowhere nearly as bad as me at 66, bald and 285 pounds! My worst experience is the occasional look of dread from a twunk. I just smile and tell them, 'Relax, I'm not gonna bother you. Fuck those guys (or rather, DON'T). Better to regret what we did than regret what we DIDN'T do. Life is too short - still lots of wax on your candle. We are of the age to recall the dreaded 80s when we lost too many young friends. As survivors, we need to keep the flame alive.

[@JoeM242]

Good video. The "Where the Bears are" series shows some reality of how things are. It's so true. You may not be someone's cup of tea and vice-versa.

[@donald6787]

LOVE the colour change in your kitchen

[@REdgar66]

I really love this channel. Thank you!

[@PatrickMarano]

Glad you enjoy it!

[@seamanjack2448]

Love the positive attitude!!!

[@r.pres.4121]

As a masculine gay man, I never had any interest in visiting a bath house. It just sounds like something that wouldn’t agree with me. However at the same token, if anyone else wants to visit a bath house and partake in its activities, that is their personal business. I am not going to find fault with guys who go to bath houses. But it just doesn’t interest me.

[@PatrickMarano]

Absolutely... except one thing... what does being a "masculine gay man" have to do with going to a bathhouse or not?

[@alw.8849]

its plenty of masculine or regular acting dudes that go to bath houses my man

[@crestonediamond]

You should give it a try.

[@kentuckianaboy]

Yeah, I tend to lean on the conservative side of things like this.

[@jimmcnevin3331]

For me someone that loved bathhouse play, old but thats not my problem. Most bathhouse's aren't handicap accessible and not a high on "WAANT" list. But you're right so much more ways to enjoy them.

[@PatrickMarano]

Thanks for sharing, you're right, they are not accessible at all

[@paulortiz2035]

If a bathhouse doesn't work for you try a sex club! People are usually clothed. Except on jockstrap night, or underwear night. Or if you want to lay in the bathtub and have folks come to you! A nake/nude venue isn't for everyone! There are plenty of others (venues) that might just get the job done and be even MORE FUN for you! You don't have to follow the biggest herd! So get going!

[@PatrickMarano]

Absolutely we have those as well. Thanks Paul

[@BaskingInObscurity]

Sure there may be bad nights. No matter what you look like, your brand is popular among some subset of the crowd at any bathhouse. You aren't hoping to hook up with yourself, so whether you think you're attractive is pretty much irrelevant. Just LET the other men who like your type get their chance to make themselves AND YOU happy-for an hour or two, anyway. You never know, though. Reality is weird.

[@seanrisley]

This was fun!!

[@cal1012000]

wow great video sometimes I'm the king / queen of self doubt but what u said in this video really do help thank YOU :)

[@joemiller1312]

As always, another GREAT video. I have been to a few bath houses in Amsterdam and always had a great experience. I have, however been hesitant at home. Perhaps the fear of running into someone that knows my husband or something. Your nugget of wisdom at the end resonated with me. I am getting more confident to explore the local fun. Thank you!

[@alexiswoolwine6993]

SO you have a husband but still go to a freakin' bathhouse? Shining example of immorality.

[@raymondchan9802]

You are absolutely right and i fully agree. You are a wise person and a very attractive guy.

[@PatrickMarano]

Thank you so much

[@teams3345]

The ones in most cities look seedy and are I non desirable places. I would not even trust parking my car there. Much less my safety.

[@johnkelly2383]

OMG you are so right !! years ago I wanted to go to a nudist camp, trip one I didn't go trip 2 again I didn't go... trip 3 I went ... driving to the pool , a 70 year old man 300 pounds was walking naked .. if he can do it so can I .. I had the time of my life !!!! nothing ever happen, but I went back 20 plus times JK

[@PatrickMarano]

you got it! Exactly what you said!

[@anjinsanx44]

Flex on Melrose is not clean But I still went....pool is sometimes clean. I'm in Asia now wish they had. Bath house here

[@edgarribeirodossantos9019]

Love love the pragmatism! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@BrinLondo74]

Times I've gone nothing happens & I rub one out. 1-3 am is just not my style & 10 pm is a sad time. In the past, the majority of guys I went after would shoot me down but there's an interesting twist. Guys who witnessed this, approached ME! Guys I never considered have given me some of the best sex I've had. It may be superficial but when I want fantastic lay, I go after the hungry ones instead of the pretty ones. The latter seems to be dull lays while the former have filled a lot of my fantasies.

[@PatrickMarano]

that's a very interesting perspective... thank you for sharing it!

[@paulortiz2035]

What is the biggest turn on? Enthusiasm! Do you want to fuck someone who just lays there or would you rather have someone who is energetically into it????!!!! And wants every bit you got to put into it???!!!! The really pretty ones just lay there, thinking that is all they need to do. The hungry ones really work for it and appreciate it so much more! Sometimes things got to the point I thought we might break the wall into the next cubicle down! The more enthusiastic it got the rougher it got and 99% of the time the other guy got into it and was perfectly OK with it! The guys in the hall probably thought we were killing each other slaming into the walls, punching on someone's back, slapping their ass, talking out loud....... you get the idea! No one ever got hurt, but I do enjoy those muscle studs who spend so much time in the gym!!! Yes, I do!!! I was just treating them like a man for once and they actually enjoyed it! Only one guy ever said to stop, which I did! It brought up some issues as a kid, which I can totally respect! But some real, genuine enthusiasm and excitement is a really, really great thing! (And yes, I know, sex, violence and over powering someone, forcing them to give it up, isn't any measure of 'REAL' manhood! I know this. 100%!!! But a half hour of psycho-drama is a great relief for many people. Freedom from Boredom, not feeling wanted or feeling too ugly, etc. Someone taking over for a while so the other guy doesn't have to make all of the decisions, all of the time, is rather nice! To be seen as a big, strong, rough and tough man is a real change for a lot of guys! But they were completely worked over physically, mentally and sexually by the time it was finished! A few had a hard time getting up and out the door they were do spent, relaxed and FINALLY satisfied! And a few said they had never done anything like that before but were strangely turned on by it! Soft and gentle sex---- yeah, I would never be able to cum like that. I need something a bit more------ Robust! Athletic! Physical! Animalistic!!! And when we were done they knew they have been fucked! How else should it be???!!!

[@MaratSolodky]

Ok so why does everyone pass on me when I'm there if I'm not ugly or Asian or both or whatever

[@PatrickMarano]

I don't know

[@MaratSolodky]

@@PatrickMarano and when I went to one in London back in 2018 had a blast. But after I moved to Canada I'm invincible. Well, Canadian gays are hidden racists. So maybe I'm not ugly

[@ScribblebytesWorldwide]

Do not go into the hot tub.

[@dpberry]

At this point I think not going means they’re missing out on monkeypox.

[@SK-zi3sr]

I don’t know if we even have any bathhouses in Australia. Don’t know anyone that’s seen one let alone me hearing about one

[@PatrickMarano]

There must be... I'll google it for ya

[@johnhoma8086]

I will try again.

[@newworldlove7031]

I have god awful body dismophia so I just couldn't go unless I spent a year in the gym. Wait to you reach 49 going on 50!! I'm entering retirement in gay seen. Not everyone is super confident and an extrovert.

[@PatrickMarano]

No you're right, they are not. We gotta be nicer to each other and more accepting of everyone

[@brockreynolds870]

I havne't even been DATING, because I figure I'm too fat and old, and nobody wants me anymore. I was a pretty blond twink 30 years ago, and even THEN..... at 175 pounds and 5'11", I had men tell me I was too fat to date. What hope do I have now at 53 years old and 230 pounds. The only plus is I still have most of my hair.

[@paulortiz2035]

As Abe Lincoln said: If you say you can't do something, your right! You don't need to take 30 guys home! You just need 1 that wants to do the mattress tango with you! And 5'11', 230 isn't a deal breaker! There are plenty of guys I'd bang into the floor like that! PLENTY!!! Try a slight smile, some confidence, and a bit of enthusiasm about yourself and/or others! Besides, if you weighed 100 pounds there would be those who would say you were still too fat to date! Rather than please every ashhole out there, all you need to do is be OK with YOU! "Yes, I'm fat.... BUT I'm working on it! Next month!" Anything you tell yourself that is negative put a positive ending on that sentence! Change that negative attitude because it doesn't feel attractive to others! One of the hottest guys in the bar in San Francisco was in a wheelchair! AND HE WAS WILDLY POPULAR! WILDLY!!!!!! THE FEET AND LEGS MIGHT NOT WORK BUT EVERYTHING ELSE DID!!! The chair didn't slow him down in the slightest! He used it to his advantage! So I thought, gee, what's my excuse for holding back??? Hmmmm............. True story, too! So, tell me, what's your excuse again???

[@PatrickMarano]

Hey Paul, can I ask what you do for a living? I appreciate the comments and you seem to be very passionate about these topics.

[@BlytheWorld1972]

Well if you can get in anyone can ..

[@PatrickMarano]

Right?

[@BlytheWorld1972]

@@PatrickMarano I am only pulling your leg x

[@ricardodavila9000]

Yeah even old fuglies need love

[@paulortiz2035]

Well, they! at least need some 'action'! Not sure I would term what goes on there as 'love'. But maybe!

[@Corkyjay]

Ive been to them 5 times and out of the five ive only had 1 decent time otherwise i was just there to exist people was too scared to do anything 🤷🏿‍♂️🥱

[@PatrickMarano]

sorry to hear that

[@gregorioeduardo]

The facility might be clean but you don’t know that the people are. The chances of getting an STD in the bath house is exponentially high.

[@carlosmiguel4587]

THANK YOU! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@PatrickMarano]

You're welcome!!

[@codyferguson7120]

You reiterate such simpleness.

[@PatrickMarano]

You'd be surprised how many people need to hear it

[@springstud]

i been told that i am ugly and been told that i came out to late that life is over at age of 21 he says you should came out at age 15 i don't being gay they are looking for looks and been told at age 30 you should be supper rich

[@PatrickMarano]

I don't know who's giving you such bad advice. I came out at 19. I'm 45 now and in my prime. And money does nothing to bring you happiness. Whoever this loser is , get them out of your life NOW

[@dirk2655]

What a bathouse doesn't have....tanners, walking bathshower tub with bath products for cleansing, technology that is portable, hair salon (barber), mens makeup salon, manscapers esthetic, nail salon, cool sculpting, swim suit and fancy wraps for sale sure that could be an online store for a bathouse with 30 minute delivery. I've never been to a bathouse but you dont talk about any of this. A dance club, sandwiche bar and protein shake bar. A bath house doesn't have a clinic, to check diabetis, blood pressure etc.

[@PatrickMarano]

I've never been to one that has these amenities, but that doesn't mean some of that doesn't exist somewhere

[@shadxcruz]

My friend got HIV from someone at a bathhouse in San Francisco.

[@PatrickMarano]

Yup, it happens. But remember, it's not the place... it's the behaviour.

[@anthonydabiere1865]

Read my review in K-Lyt Bathhouse on Yelp

[@GVids721]

so true ❤

[@freddyhollingsworth5945]

having a very large tool helps in all areas of gay life....

[@rixx46]

...on the other hand, you have the opportunity to size up your man before taking the plunge. Better than the date night disappointment. The right tool for the right job...

[@herbslaydon1752]

@@rixx46 a

[@paulortiz2035]

Even just a large tool will get the job done! I have given others this advice when they got turned down for a job: "Just go back in there and lay your dick on the desk! And start the conversation all over again!" While it might sound odd or even not very helpful or even the most professional thing------- I can and will verify that it works! Ask me how I know! Just ask me!!!! (But I was quite young then so I thought, "What do I have to loose!!!???" And it worked! But I also had something to lay on the desk, which helped! And, yes, it really is a true story!!!)

[@rae0521]

Someday, "the media" will grow up.

[@williamrowe5913]

I cant wait to to one

[@davidanderson1074]

What’s the black light for in the background?

[@PatrickMarano]

I don't have a window in the kitchen and I need the light to cook and clean at night. (It was there when we moved it) lol

[@TP-xy2ms]

Why post the thumbnail but don’t see the video of you

[@PatrickMarano]

You mean of me in a steam room? I can't film in one cuz the sound and video would be terrible lol

[@TP-xy2ms]

You’re a handsome man. I was hesitant to subscribe because I didn’t want to seem lustful or thirsty. . Since you were kind in your response.‘I will now 😊

[@koenaddleston]

"pushing for us to look like" easy to say when you look like that, bro

[@PatrickMarano]

I hear what you're saying, but I can still understand and have something worthy to say :)

[@alrighwg]

ha, ha, ha, I do not kow how to feel witht that intro.

[@paulortiz2035]

'A place to go to disconnect from reality?' Really? Don't we have enough of that going on already? Seems like we do! Really, we do! We just lived through 4 years of nonreality based governance and you think we need to push for more???!!! YIKES!!!!!

[@PatrickMarano]

Hey Paul, thanks for your perspective. But yes, people are overworked, underpaid, having their basic human rights taken away from them, there's a housing crisis, a war.... do I need to go on?? Sometimes you need to relax and get away.

[@bamafencer12]

I wish there was lesbian bathhouses in major cities. Gays always have fun.

[@PatrickMarano]

You know there are mixed nights here in Toronto now

[@bamafencer12]

@@PatrickMarano Yay!! I didn't know :) Thanks!!

[@Managua-f1n]

I'm gonna get gonorrea.

[@PatrickMarano]

ok

[@kimalonzo3363]

I am a straight 59 year old Christian woman and how did this get recommended to me? Didn't watch. I have a couple gay male friends but I don't need to know the detes.

[@PatrickMarano]

why don't you need to know the "detes"? I suppose it's ok for them to be gay, as long as you don't have to see it or talk about it?

[@PatrickMarano]

Maybe it was recommended to you because you need to watch it

[@kimalonzo3363]

@@PatrickMarano I'm not imposing my lifestyle on you. Please don't try to impose yours on me. I've done a lot of research on my own about gay and Trans issues. As a Christian I am just not interested in your content. It's not my place to judge the choices you make. I accept you and love you but i shouldn't be forced to celebrate and participate in the same things you do. I watched about 5 minutes of the video to see what it was about and then decided it wasn't a good match for me. Sorry if you were offended.

[@paulortiz2035]

@@PatrickMarano so much for "No Judgements Here!" You were way out of line with this woman, Patrick! Seriously! Hopefully, after you think it over, you will apologize to her! I hope you will! Your comments seem very out of character for you!

[@paulortiz2035]

@@kimalonzo3363 I apologize to you, madame! I am sorry for the rudeness shown to you! It is Very uncharacteristic of this content provider! Please accept My sincerest apology for this! Paul in Chicago/Las Vegas

[@JimmyVYouTube]

Truth

[@johnp.1460]

You dispense such wise, fundamentally kind advice. Thank you for being real. Moreover, your discussion on bathhouse safety was spot on and something that, apparently, some people need to hear. Bathhouses have long been at the forefront of educating the community and protecting gay men’s health. They can also be wonderful gathering places; I met my husband in one. That was 26 years ago, and we’re still extremely happy.

[@PatrickMarano]

Thank you so much John for sharing your story with us!

[@czarf]

@@PatrickMarano you should start a podcast!

[@michailp3021]

I'm pushing myself to go back to the sauna, despite the awkwardness I felt last time. Walking around with just a towel among other men in an open space is uncomfortable, and witnessing private moments can be unsettling. Yet, I'm determined to return because I know I'm socially awkward, and I want to improve my confidence and social skills. My goal is to feel relaxed, flirt confidently, and politely decline when I'm not interested.

[@PatrickMarano]

I love that for you

[@RS-hf6rn]

I always preferred bathhouses to the dating apps. No endless back n forth messaging, no flakiness, etc. At the bathhouses, everyone is there for 1 reason, so even if you get rejected, it’s filled with a bunch of guys who are looking for fun, so you’ll always get something out of it. I myself like ALL sorts of guys, old daddies, hairy bears, smooth twinks, muscle studs, chubby dudes, etc, so I always found someone to have fun with.

[@PatrickMarano]

sounds like you are the perfect bathhouse guy! Glad to hear it

[@KA-su9ww]

I am average looking guy that has been going to bathhouses since I have been in my 20s never had a dull moment.

[@paulortiz2035]

Confidence is a great Equalizer! And ice breaker!

[@mauriziomoreni1434]

Cool

[@jasonrussell3252]

Same here. I love the club st.louis bathhouse

[@davidpp330]

I’m too ugly for any gay man to ever want to be with me.

[@KittyFoxArtWorld]

Thank you for your wonderful channel! I ❤❤❤❤❤ your content. I'm not going to a bathhouse (widowed woman) but I'm from SF and I used to work in an assisted living facility for people with HIV and AIDS during the AIDS epidemic. Yeah, I was right in the middle of it. So I REALLY appreciate the education part of your videos but also just the loving and kind non judgemental part too. I miss it. And the community part of it was beautiful. Keep Rockin your wonderful self and your wonderful messages. P.S. The video on cruising in the park was great too!!!

[@TwinFalls88]

Maybe there woudn't have been so many patients in your facility. Dying, suffering, horrible fates. Young bright people's lives cut short. Can you imagine the despair, pain, regret these people had to endure. I for one am about FIGHTING BACK against the unscrupulous capitalist batstards that made money off of other peoples' suffering. They all lay withering away, meanwhile the unscrupulous, nay evil, owners of these establishments (many even straight and detached from community) raked in the $$$ and went on cruises and enjoyed their long lives..... That's the TRUTH. Lobby to shutter these in your city !

[@pirish236]

You are so spot on about the cleaning and sanitizing that goes on in a BH... Thank you for your informative channel..

[@nwinti8345]

Thank you Patrick. I used to be a regular customer of Steamworks Chicago since 1996. Now I have changed from a normal looking guy to an old, ugly and overweight man. I was not sure if they would even let me enter the club. I simply tried out without expectations and still had a good time there. There are guys loving chubby old men out there.

[@rixx46]

GO FO IT. No matter how unattractive you THINK you look I doubt it's nowhere nearly as bad as me at 66, bald and 285 pounds! My worst experience is the occasional look of dread from a twunk. I just smile and tell them, 'Relax, I'm not gonna bother you'. Fuck those guys (or rather, DON'T). I just enjoy the sexually charged atmosphere and surprisingly often I will hook up with a guy close to my age or more often much younger. Sometimes I'll join a group-grope party in progress, or just cheerlead from the bleachers. Go, team!

[@PatrickMarano]

thank you for sharing that!

[@ForgeMasterXXL]

@@rixx46 I was definitely a twunk in my twenties but I tried to be respectful of all others at the bathhouse. Now I am an ageing hippy with a spreading waistline, I like to thin the good karma I put out when I was twenty will come back to me now that I’m nearly fifty.

[@frankcorrea8691]

Aldo 70 year old that is fit and well endowed with be the most popular at the time ! Seen some grins from them ,they got it!🎉

[@Coffeendonuts]

Chubby older men get me so hot. I love taking loads from older bears

[@monk3yboy69]

It all depends on the bathhouse, the city, the occasion etc. Over 20 years of visiting these places, I can say there are all sorts in there. The idea is just to chill and be who you are. And if you don’t get lucky, you will still enjoy the health benefits. London, Paris, Berlin, Frankfurt, Cape Town… They are all the same. Hot men, fat men, old men, young men. It all goes.

[@PatrickMarano]

Thank you so much for your comment!

[@Jordi7174]

Patrick please continue to do uploads with your reflection in the background with your head facing the camera. It is soooo genuine and real. It has a realness that is so badly missing from most KZbin videos nowadays. I loved every bit of this upload. Thank you. 🧡

[@PatrickMarano]

wow, thank you so much. I will def try

[@fredf7457]

Since you mentioned Steam Works in Toronto a few time in this video, I don't quite agree with what you said about not to worry about one's self image. That is, if he is going to go to Steam Works. This bath house used to be my favourite whenever I visited Toronto, because it was mostly full of beefy/in-shape hot guys. Certainly, I did not score every time, understandably. However, I eventually realized that there are a lot posers, or they are very picky and choosy. If you are not beefy enough, or if you not hung enough, or if you are not hard enough, they would just ignore you. Eventually, I went to another bath house instead. But to be fair to them, I used to go on Saturday nights, which was always busy. And, as in another other bath houses, the busier it is, the more people just walking around and around and looking and "waiting" and not do anything.

[@PatrickMarano]

Agreed. You described most bathhouses really

[@rlrober]

Patrick…… I think there are a lot of people that are jealous of people who go to bathhouses and use STI’s to shame them. There are acceptable risk with everything that you do. I always say if you don’t want to get killed in a car accident then don’t drive a car. People always laugh at me when I compare that to hooking up but to me hooking up is just as important as driving a car.

[@rickovery]

Yes, the men who utter condescending remarks while clutching their pearls. These are the same men who behind closed doors become the sleaziest, dirtiest man-sluts you could ever imagine...at least from my personal experience! ;)

[@88ispeak]

Always direct & full of wisdom 😂🙌🏾 I love it here 😍

[@PatrickMarano]

thank you!

[@vant83]

Well, couldn't have summarized better myself. In my years I went to gay saunas (not currently, due to the fact that I'm in a relationship), I had some of the best experiences and the greatest sex I've had, plus I made some new friends,. Of course, I've protected myself and I've protected my feelings, so almost everything went really smoothly. Of all, I loved most the part at the end of the video, when you deconstruct preconceptions within the gay community.

[@PatrickMarano]

Thank you so much Esteban, I appreciate the comment!

[@MikeTazz]

This is why I love you and your content Patrick - you hit the nail on the head and break cruising down to the basics. Bathhouses are nothing to be afraid of, you get out of it what you want. I like your POV of if nothing is happening just enjoy the quiet and take some time for yourself. Until next time. MUAH!!

[@PatrickMarano]

Hey Mike, thank you so much my friend! xo

[@phil2u48]

I am elderly (late 70’s) and I enjoy the bath houses in Mexico. The culture supports a greater admiration for elders than I experience in the USA.

[@PatrickMarano]

Nice to know!

[@rschmidt9699]

“Zero expectations” is correct

[@rixx46]

...= zero disappointments!

[@allenweist4483]

the last few bath houses that I visited, all the guys wanted bareback sex. With the introduction of Prep drugs, unsafe sex is now the norm.

[@rixx46]

I think that's the case in general, not only the baths. BUT there are still plenty of other bugs out there. I'm sure you agree that if you don't know the guy, WRAP it up!

[@kd8199]

@@rixx46 - so true. Not many think about herpes, Hepatitis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, HPV (venereal warts), monkeypox, syphilis, trichomoniasis, scabies, crabs, and other parasites.

[@paulortiz2035]

@@rixx46 even if you do know the guy, or Especially if you do know the guy? Put a coat on!

[@paulortiz2035]

@@kd8199 a condom offers no protection against animals or critters, as in actual 4, 6, 8 legged bugs! Lice, crabs, et al are not internal. Perhaps the latex guys have the right idea after all??? Hmmmm...........!

[@chookaschookas444]

Once again, thanks for your input Patrick. In my late teens, many many years ago, I heard some advice which helped me so much when I still didn’t know where, what or who I was. I think this was originally a smart comment, but in fact I have found it to be true and very helpful over the years. “You will worry less what people think of you when you realise how seldom they do.” In a way, the same applies to your bath-house persona. Other things to remember to help with your confidence:- Glory holes are the ultimate anonymous hookup . The dark room can be your friend. A guy older or younger than you may have a liking for your body type or age group. Check the net - all types are catered for. It can be the same in a bath house. I love them. And as Patrick points out, If you don’t connect, at the very least there are the videos. 🥰😛

[@PatrickMarano]

100% thanks for commenting

[@WeasleyGirl1767]

Straight woman here--this was incredibly educational for me! Thank you!

[@PatrickMarano]

aww that's awesome, thank you so much for watching! xo

[@treehuggerdude4]

Thanks for this video. I feel like I don't have as much fun at bathhouses as I could because of all these stereotypes and misconceptions. Your video helps counter those misconceptions. I will go back at some point and give it another go. Thanks!

[@PatrickMarano]

Thanks for sharing! Let us know how it goes

[@chetyoubetya8565]

Are you kidding me I worked in a bath house for 8 months before quitting in utter disgust. There is such a vibe on men playing out unresolved issues of past childhood abuse and just a total dysfunction and sadness about these places.Not to mention what actually walks into these places is nothing you would ever look at on the street.

[@PatrickMarano]

I'm sorry you've had such awful experiences, but it's not like that everywhere you go

[@chetyoubetya8565]

@@PatrickMarano Ehh most well adjusted guys gay or not ae not going to bathhouses for sex it's a really f ed way to meet and interact with people not to mention all the disease they conveniently don't tell you they have.

[@ScribblebytesWorldwide]

@@chetyoubetya8565 It reads like you have some unresolved issues. Sex and love are 2 different things. If someone is turned on by walking through a sea of horny dudes, it doesn't mean they're less capable of being in love and in a monogamous relationship. One is physical and the other is emotional. Some might argue that bathhouses are actually equalizers. You can't hide behind your fancy car or fancy suit and you don't need to be ashamed if you don't have the coolest clothes or if you live in a broom closet. Everybody's naked. It's the least manufactured environment. And sometimes that can lead to an emotional connection as well.

[@troyp9485]

Something tells me you have issues

[@delibakerytravel]

THE STEAMWORKS AND THE CLUB BATHHOUSE CHAINS ARE CLEANER THAN ANY OUTSIDE GYM. THEY ARE SUPER NICE.NOW 30 YEARS AGO I WOULDN'T SAY THAT.

[@sofondaphillybear1220]

1st I thought you were in a cool blue bath house then realized it was your kitchen 😄 sweet

[@PatrickMarano]

haha

[@russnichol6803]

Love your videos. I never considered myself good looking, but surprisingly I found quite a few guys who were interested in me at the bathhouse. And had a LOT of fun.

[@PatrickMarano]

Thanks for sharing!

[@IUmusicBoi]

Preach. Working for a certain rodent in Florida and being surrounded by “fake perfection” all day long, Club Orlando is my treat to myself at the end of each week. Super clean but with a touch of raunchiness…I think that’s what makes it fun. Also, the different types of people you meet and chat up in the hot tub or pool are very interesting…there’s something for everyone.

[@KevinFuller7]

LOL... just a smidge of raunchiness... made me laugh out loud!

[@rixx46]

@@KevinFuller7 yeah -- you don't want it to be TOO antiseptic! I'll settle for non-toxic!

[@rickovery]

@@KevinFuller7 A touch of ranchiness never hurt anyone!

[@pickpac1]

Like that place, nakid cozy outdoor pool n spa, the big tourist O brings many out of towners

[@juliogonzalez5781]

Never been to Club Orlando where it has been worth my while. Google reviews show it getting worse if anything which is unfortunate. Club Fort Lauderdale is a different experience...always something to be had. When is the best time to go to Club Orlando?

[@samtan4729]

Best to skip bathhouses this summer 2022 because of monkeypox. Stay smart and be well. Get educated and vaccinated!

[@jm7804]

Between COVID, Monkeypox, and HIV I don't know why anyone would put themselves at such risk. For what? Temporary fun?

[@paulortiz2035]

@@jm7804 there is some risk, agreed, but it isn't fatal, for God's sake! There is risk to just waking up in the morning! Going to the grocery store. Driving anywhere! Etc. You can die and never have experienced most of life but most folks will take measured risks and die with a wee smile on their faces! Going to the bath doesn't mean you have to do anything! Go and just watch! You just might learn something! Or you might not! No guarantees in this life!

[@Soundofsilence-j4d]

I MISS BATHROOMS DOWN PUBLIC BEACH THERE WERE GLORY HOLES. THERE. WHEN I. REALIZE WHAT THEY ARE THEY PATCH THEM. UP. WERE LUCKY TO GET OPERTUNITY TO COMUNICATE

[@dat1ndnguy]

I don't go because I'm paralyzed and the bathhouses in my city ALL have stairs, God only knows what I'd be wheeling over anyway 🤣

[@PatrickMarano]

haha fair enough

[@stever3658]

Patrick! You have it right! Thank you for reminding us people about what we do, and think about.

[@miguelpaul1164]

Grindr is basically an online bathhouse. If we didn't have the internet all these D hounds myself included would be at the baths, just as msm did before WiFi.

[@PatrickMarano]

The Apps totally took people away from the bathhouse... but you really can't replace the convenience of seeing people face to face immediately vs. electronically

[@miguelpaul1164]

@@PatrickMarano I've only seen bathhouses depicted in movies set in 70s and 80s and if I had a time machine I would go back and visit!!! People used to literally cruise around to get D and it was different before the internet. I came of age in the late 90s so I've seen how things have changed.

[@karlmnz]

thank you patrick for your stance on HIV, as an HIV positive guy...it needed to be said.

[@PatrickMarano]

People need to hear it